Channel: Yasir Qadhi
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
will dip Neff sun gamma
saramonic Kumar. Allah He will want to catch you
How are you?
Allahu Akbar Allah.
If I can ask all the brothers to move forward, we don't want people sitting in the box if you have any space inshallah, please help yourselves to the front as much as possible.
And hamdulillah All praise is due to Allah Subhana huzzah Allah, Who created everything in pairs. He is the rock of the world, and the master of all of our affairs. He demonstrated his power through the perfection of creation, and He manifested his knowledge through the reality of predestination. He created death and life as a trial for us all under test and to separate the pious from the wicked and to select the best. So it's about Allah, the one to whom belongs all power and majesty. And may Salah 10 Salah be upon Mohammed de McKee under Hashimi as to what follows. Allah subhana wa tada reminds us to be conscious of him when he says in the Quran, yeah, you have Latina, Manu tupple la
haka to RT y La Tomatina Illa unto Muslim moon. Do Muslims have the greatest blessings and gifts that Allah Subhana Allah has given to all of mankind, the Muslim of them and the non Muslim of them, have the greatest blessings is not a family and inshallah to Allah today and a series of future hobas we will be talking about the family and the blessings of the family and how to have a blessed family in light of the Koran and of the sooner so today will be the first in a series of buzz about this topic. And today in sha Allah to Allah in particular, we will begin with the blessings of the spouse. Now much has been spoken about when it comes to the rights of the spouse or COPPA so Jane,
but I hope inshallah tada in this series to go beyond just the legal and the technical terminologies and to think of the spirit of marriage and to think about how the Quran and the Sunnah and our human experiences tell us to live a better life. And let us begin from the very beginning. Let us begin from the story of the big
of the creation, because even in that story, there are lessons for marriage. How beautiful is it dear Muslims, that when Allah created the first human being, he didn't leave him single. When Allah created our father Adam, as soon as our father Adam was created from Adam, our father was blessed with a spouse and our Mother, how one was gifted to Adam, even before the two of them were told to enter Jannah even before Allah told Adam to enter Jannah Allah had created a spouse for Adam. Then Allah said, Yeah, Adam, who skoon untar was ojochal Jana. Oh, Adam, you and your wife, the two of you live together in Jana. It is as if even Jana is not Jenna, without your other half. The two of
you together live in Jannah. And Allah subhanho wa Taala showed us in the creation story, that our spouses are from us and within us, Allah zoa just did not create the creation from a new Adam was created from a new Adam was created from clay, how work could have been created from plate how work could have been fashioned as well. But to demonstrate the fact that men and women borrowed will come in bout as the Quran says, to demonstrate that the man is from the woman and the woman is from the man. Because if Allah had wanted to, he could have fashioned how work like you fashioned Adam, but no, to demonstrate that the two of them are from and to each other. Allah created Hawa from Adam,
which either minha xojo ha, and from him he created the spouse. And Allah subhana wa Taala mentions in the Quran as well, that how was an Adam living in Geneva for a period of time, then what happened happened, and the two of them came down to this earth together, put in a beautiful minha. Jimmy, the both of you come down together. So Subhanallah brothers and sisters think about this story, which is the first marriage in all of the creation because it is the marriage of our mother and our father, Adam and how we think about their lives. We do not have stories of their time on Earth. But I want you after the hood was over when you're alone by yourself, I want you to imagine and visualize to
human beings with no companionship other themselves, without knowing any aspect of technology, not having even the knowledge of how to light a fire, not having knowledge of how to harvest seeds and plants. Think of those two human beings once upon a time they were in Jannah eating and drinking and enjoying Jenna, then instantaneously they are on this earth struggling and toiling. They don't even know how to build a shelter. They don't even have anything other than the clothes Allah xojo sent them down upon. But you see, Allah knew that the two of them would be on Earth. So it is as if Allah subhana wa tada prepared for the difficult times ahead, that the two of them had each other. They
had no other human being. They had no knowledge of how to live on this earth. They were the first human beings but Allah subhana wa tada created them for each other. Can you imagine the difficult times they would have lived in Can you imagine every single day and our struggling were to eat how to survive after having been in Jannah but Allah azza wa jal wanted to show mercy to our father Adam, he didn't leave him alone. And that story of the very first marriage It is as if it is a microcosm of all marriages. It is as if Allah subhanho wa Taala is showing us Divine Wisdom they were created together, they worship the Lord in genda. Together they brought down on earth together,
they repented together, they lived the most beautiful days together and they lived the most difficult days together. It is as if Allah is saying through the thick and through the thin through the through the difficult and through the easy through the ups and through the downs. It is the spouses that comfort one another. This is the wisdom This is the goal of why Allah subhanho wa Taala created us in pairs. We all understand that if Allah had wanted to, we wouldn't be in these pairs. We all understand that this is of the Divine gifts that the Quran explicitly mentions multiple times. The Quran asks us to think about the fact that he created us in male and female Holocaust so
Jane is the karawal own. He created you in tuzo. Jane in two pairs, the male and the female This is of the heart of a lot of the miracles of Allah is suited to a room diverse that is recited in every single marriage whatever. Every time somebody gets married, the hottie recites this verse because it is related to marriage, but it is a verse that allows us to think and to reflect woman iottie he on Hanukkah calm mean unfussy calm as larger and of the signs of a law.
of the miracles of Allah. Allah calls marriage of his miracles. Think about that. Do you know what an ayah is? Allah calls the Quran and if Allah calls the camel that was sent to the people of Saudi Arabia, this is a miracle when you look at it, you are astounded at the magnificence of Allah, that's an idea to look at an IRA is astonishing. an IRA demonstrates the power of Allah, the mercy of Allah, the qudra of Allah, that's what an IRA is. And Allah says, and of his IRA, is the miracle of marriage. Think about that. Think about that. We take it for granted because obviously, we all are in a world of marriages were born from a marriage were married. This is how we live but alive
saying just like the sun, just like the moon don't take it for granted. These are a yacht so to marriage is an iron woman IRT he and honey comb mean unphysical as wotja of his miraculous signs is that he created for you. Allah doesn't benefit if we're in two genders or one doesn't matter to Allah. But Allah wanted to benefit us. Allah wanted to make things easy for us. hollowcore lecan it is a gift to you. This is for us that Allah created us in male and female Allah created us husbands and wives Hello, Carla. Calm it's a gift to you to make things easy for you. Hello, Carla comb Minh and fusi come from you. And we spoke about this before from you. We are not alien species. Hawaii
was not created separate. No. created for you from you. created for you from you. Haleakala calm, Minh and fusi calm and of course the reality here is to demonstrate as the Quran says bow bow bow, the both of you are from the both of you. Men are for men and women and women are for men and women. We are not alien species, we are the same. And yet we are complimentary color, color common and physical. As larger, the terms old By the way, it literally means pair in the Arabic language the term xojo it means pair it is as if the two are meant to be together. You talk about a pair of shoes you talk about a pair of something literally it's as if the husband and wife were intended to be
together. That's what zoji means. So Allah says Hola, hola, como Min unphysical as word and then he tells us why. What is the wisdom. Lita school new la ha, the word second in the Arabic language primarily the first thing that comes to mind of our our brothers is a house. Second is a house. And Allah uses the term here for marriage. Because your marriage is your house. Your marriage is your house. If you build your marriage, you have built your house. And if you have destroyed your marriage, you have destroyed your house. The term second literally means the house that you live in. And Allah subhana wa tada says, Lita, schooner, la ha, the same route from building a house is used
for a marriage because this is the essence of marriage far more important than your physical second, far more important than the building and the mortar and the bricks of your house is the love inside the house. You can have a house built on marriage of love, even if you don't have a physical house. Adam and Hawa did not have a house for Allah knows how long they didn't even know how to build a house argument how Why did not have a house but they had a second of marriage. Yet there are those who have magnificent palaces, but they do not have second inside they do not have households built upon love and upon marriage. Lita, schooner, la hub, also one of the meanings of second as well and
sukoon as we're all aware of his Sakina tranquility, one of the meanings of second is peace. Lita, schooner, la Ha. So, ponder over this point to your brothers and sisters, we are being told it is as if the world is a very difficult place. It is as if the world is full of problems, stress, grief, anxiety, and then we have a spouse and in that spouse, we will find comfort, we will find peace, we will find tranquility later school era, the world gives you a lot of problems. But when you have a loving spouse, when you have a spouse that cares about you and you care about him or her when your marriage is solid, then inshallah with the other the problems of this world are manageable. But when
your second is being destroyed, when your marriage is crumbling, when you don't have happiness inside the house, then as we all know, all of the happiness outside the house will not make you happy. That's what Allah is saying. Lita, schooner, la ha your real Sakina will be found in your spouse. The real happiness is the happiness of marriage and family. If you have a blessed family, a blessed marriage, then inshallah finances everything else. They come and go, but you will live a good life. But if you have all the money in the world, but your marriage is crumbling, your children are not happy with you. Well then of what uses all of that. This is what Allah is saying of the
wisdoms of marriage of the wisdoms of having
spouse, Lita, schooner, la ha, to find comfort to find happiness to find peace and tranquility within your spouse and this is something you need to find you need to put in the effort. It doesn't it's not already there, you have to work on your marriages and inshallah in the future foodbuzz we'll be talking a little bit about how to work on those marriages. Lita, schooner, la Ha. And then Allah zo just says something amazing. We've heard this verse all the time, brothers and sisters, but look at this knocked out look at this interesting point here, what you're either vain or come my way and Rama and he has placed between you love and tenderness. Notice here. Allah ascribes love to
himself. And Allah says he is the one that has blessed you to have that love. Literally Allah takes ownership of the love of the marriage. And Allah says, I am the one that has made that love in your hearts. Notice this is the shut off. This is the dignity that Allah gives to that love. This is not to love to be embarrassed about this is not to love to hide. This love is a divine gift from Allah. This love is a divine blessing that Allah puts in the quarter on what you're either been a coma what that and what Allah has placed love between you and Allah has placed tenderness, mawa and Rama, my word dump is a love that is overpowering. And Rama, as we know is tenderness and mercy. The both are
in the spouse, the both are in the good spouse, the righteous spouse, and that blessing is ascribed to Allah subhanho wa Taala. You know, this emotion of love, well, law he the world knows this emotion of love, of what, of what what is the goal of poetry, except love? What is the goal of all of these movies except this love? What is the goal of all of these romance novels accept love, that feeling of love is something that all of us cherish all of us, we understand it. And Allah says, when it occurs within a marriage, it is my gift to you, it is my gift unto you which are either been come my way, and what my brothers and sisters a gift that is from Allah, should we not cherish it?
Should we not protect it? Should we not work to sustain it? Allah is saying this is my gift to you. Whether what does that mean to us? It means we need to thank Allah for it we need to cherish and make sure that that gift is not taken away when you're either being a commodity and Warhammer Subhana Allah we are all see this reality. As I said, it's a human reality. That's why the poet's write their poetry and the script writers wrote to write their movies we all know this reality, that powerful feeling of love to strangers come together. They have not been raised together there are not biologically related and yet their love is the most powerful love the most tender love. It is
that love that is the love that everybody knows and cherishes. And Allah says you know that miracle, I gave it unto you only when it occurs within a marriage the way that it should it is a gift from Allah, if it is existing outside it is not that type of gift, this is the gift between husband and wife, which are the bane of my word debt and Warhammer in Fida adekola. Tin. Allah begins, that of his many miracles is the miracle of marriage. Then Allah says in this are many is not just one in the miracle of marriage are many miracles, Allah azza wa jal makes marriage not just one in fee radical I Arts in this are many signs, the omonia tuffa karoun. To those who think to those who
ponder, the more you think about the miracle of husband and wife, the more you think about the miracle of family, the more you will appreciate the blessings that Allah subhana wa tada has given unto us now of course, brothers and sisters, with this blessing comes responsibility. And this is where inshallah I'll be giving future hobas about this reality of responsibility. But today, I wanted to open up the topic to mention this beautiful institution known as marriage and to underscore that it is a divine gift that Allah subhana wa Taala has given us now as I said, brothers and sisters, many hotels and gurus, they concentrate on the technical and the legal aspects of the
rights of the husband and the rights of the wife, and that has a role. It has a place we must be educated about the health of the church and the soldier and inshallah to Allah. There's plenty online to tell you about the legal and field issues. But I want to mention one point, dear brothers and sisters, especially dear husbands, no marriage is going to flourish. If you are interested in the bare minimum legal rights that is due to the other. No marriage is going to flourish. If you're looking at the technical definitions of the law. A marriage is based upon sacrifice and love and not based upon the minimalistic expectations. The books of fick are not what you turn to, to how to have
a happy marriage. That is one of those difficulties. What is the technical issues? Yes, that's legal stuff. It should be done. But to have a happy marriage, you need to move beyond the minimal requirements, you need to move beyond the rules.
And to ask yourself, what can I do to make this marriage flourish. And as I said, in sha Allah, Allah will be talking about this in our future hot button topics. But I wanted to just mention one point before we move on in future hobas. One point, and that is dear brothers and sisters, and I'm addressing those of you that have been married for 510 15 2050 years. I'm addressing those of you that have been married for a number of years. And you understand that marriage has its ups and downs, you understand that marriage does have its sweet points. But yes, it also has its negatives as well, I speak to you, especially those of you that are struggling, those of you that might not be
in the types of marriages, you think were what you imagine when you were young and single, I'm speaking to all of you and I say, every single marriage every single marriage insha Allah to Allah, if the two parties are sincere, it can be salvaged and saved. This is of the biggest blessings that Allah has promised us in the Quran. Our scholars mentioned, the most optimistic verse when it comes to marriage in the Quran, is the verse in Surah Al Baqarah. When Allah says, In Uriah is law when you are 50 law who obey in homosassa, Nisa, and you realize law when you are 50 law, who by you know Huma, if the two of them want to make peace, husband and wife, if the two of them want to make
things work, Allah will bring about reconciliation between them. This is not just cheap slogans I will do Billa This is a divine promise, dear husband and dear wife. It is a divine promise to all of you. Allah has made a hard and fast rule. And when Allah makes a rule, there are no exceptions. Allah azza wa jal has said in UD Da, da Hon, if the husband and wife want to make things work, you will feel the love who obey no Homer, Allah will bring about tofield between them. All that is required is sincerity. That's it. That's it, you come to the table with a sincere heart, I want to make our marriage work. But there has to be one other condition. The other side also has to come
with that condition. If the both of you have that condition, if the both of you come and you say you know what, we're having problems. We all couples have problems, but I want to make this marriage work and the other spouse says the same thing. Then good news, glad tidings Bashara, Allah has guaranteed that your marriage is going to flourish. And Subhanallah there's other optimistic verses about marriage as well. Brothers and sisters, we must have a positive attitude. Let me give you one other optimistic verse that will lie this verse is really very profound, very mind boggling. If you think about it. It's a technical topic and I have to introduce it a little bit. Allah Zoysia talks
about the laws of divorce may be on hold but we'll talk about the laws of divorce. And Allah mentions one of the rules of divorce, that after you give a laugh, you say the divorce when you reconciliation fails, when the marriage process you think is over, you give it to Allah, Allah makes a hard and fast rule. That rule is the husband and wife must live together in the same house for the period of the a duck for three months, husband and wife are going to live under the same roof. This is after the husband says divorce. This is after the first and second potluck for three months. Allah says in the Quran, LA to Horatio nimbu membuka hin
do not expel them from their houses, neither should they leave by the way footnote here. Notice, Allah says to the men do not expel your wife from her house, loud to rejoin me booty hin. Allah calls the word the house, the wife's house, even though technically generally speaking, who owns the house in most societies and cultures who paid for the house in most societies and cultures? I'm not talking about dual income but more generally speaking in most of human history, who purchased the house with their money it was the husband correct yet Allah says do not expel the wife from her house law to create your hoonah min booty hin. It is as if Allah is saying houses and just money,
houses and just legal ownership. You build a life together that is her house as well don't destroy it so easily. Allah ascribes the house to her even though ownership is his to indicate that there is something beyond the technicalities. The point being Allah says, Do not expel them from their houses, neither should they leave. Then notice this verse. By the way, when is this verse applicable at the very end of the end when the marriage has one final thread then is going to snap in the marriage is over literally one thread left block has been given three months are there then what does Allah say? Listen to this brothers and sisters and memorize this verse, la casa de la Allah,
you're ready to buy the daddy comprar Subhana Allah Subhana Allah. Allah says, How do you know last Saturday? How do you know? Perhaps Allah azza wa jal will bring about a new affair between the two of them or
New manner that will bring them together la tierra de La La La Jolla, Dubai in Houma Umbra. Perhaps Allah might bring the two of them back together again, at the very end of the marriage and Allah says don't give up hope. Do not give up hope you do not know perhaps Allah will bring them back together again, if this is a verse that is applicable when Dr. Locke has been given and the three month rate that is in place, and the wife is about to leave, and Allah says, How do you know? Do you know the future? Can you control the hearts of men and women? Do you know animals? If you do not know the law, perhaps Allah will bring about a new reconciliation between them. If this is the
optimism at the very end of the marriage, then your brother and sister in sha Allah, your marriage is not that bad. inshallah your marriage is not at that stage. If we're supposed to be optimistic at that stage, then how about when marriages have their ups and downs, arguments and love? This is the reality of marriage. When that is the case. Then we approached with a positive attitude, we think the best thoughts and we put our trust in Allah Subhana Allah to Allah and inshallah, as I said, in the future, we'll be giving more specific mechanisms and advice about how we can preserve and protect our marriages May Allah subhana wa tada bless me and you within through the Quran, and may
make us of those who is versus they understand and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan, as scholars forgiveness who was will ask him for his the whole food and the ramen.
Alhamdulillah All praise is due to Allah, the One and the unique. He it is that we worship and it is His blessings that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed, and he answers the call of the week. Dear Muslims, the reality of marriage is that every single marriage has its ups and it's downs. It's good and it's bad. It's arguments and it's peace. It's love and yes, even it's hate. This is the reality of marriage. And if Allah azza wa jal had wanted to create a marriage that has no negativity, no fighting, no anger, no bickering, he would have done so in the marriage of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and our mother Khadija and our mother, Aisha, he would have done
that. But we learned from the serum, we learn from the books of Hadith. Frankly, we learn from the Quran, what is sort of the horrible sudo tala go read it, we learned from the Quran, that even our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and our mothers, there were some back and forth. Now I want to ask you why, why, if Allah had wanted to, he could have made our Prophet sallallahu I do suppose marriage foolproof watertight not to single argument not to single issue. Of course he could have been if he did. So. Where would be the role model? How could we relate? How can we learn anything? If our Profit System became an angel, if our profit system and our mothers became angelic? Where is
the role model for us? So Allah azzawajal demonstrated that even the best marriage, even the most perfect marriage, you're gonna have some beginnings and that's normal, nothing wrong with it, nothing wrong, it is human nature. And many are the episodes of the Sierra that demonstrate this, but to give you one simple example, which also has an element of humor to it, that inshallah we can all benefit from it is reported in the must another method, it is reported in the Muslim remember that once in the early days of Medina, so this is when the Prophet has an eye show where you know, newlyweds, right? So relatively early in the Seattle, Abubakar has to do came to visit his daughter
Arusha. And as he was standing outside the door, he heard issues voice, there'll be a loved one, her raising high and rebuking the profits of the Law Center for something getting angry at something. He heard his daughter's voice in a loud manner, argumentative, speaking against something we don't know the details we don't need to know. But you know, happens between husband and wife. He knocked on the door, and the process allowed him in and after saying Salaam he immediately rushed to his daughter Ayesha, this is his daughter. And he says, Yeah, I've been told Miro man or daughter of old middle man, how dare you raise your voice against the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. By the way. When
the father is angry, he calls the children, the mothers children.
And when the mother is angry, he calls the children, the father's children. To my 18 year
old Parker says, You have been told Miro man or daughter of only rumen and I she has been Debbie Bucher, but now he's not happier Ayesha. So he says this is from your mother. This is not from my site. So he says, oh, Binta O'Meara man, how dare you raise your voice against the voice of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Subhana Allah, we as husbands, do you not think if the process of what
too, he could have silenced. Do you not think if Allah had one to do he would have revealed to the wise of the process and do not raise your voices. But that would be unreal. It would be unrealistic. It would be ungentlemanly. Our Prophet system is sitting quiet. And our issue is getting irritated for a natural reason. It's human nature, nothing wrong with it. She is asking or whatever it might be. We don't know the details. But Abubakar as a man cannot bear to see anybody raised his voice against the voice of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. What is allowed for the women folk, it is not allowed for the men for no men who would dare raise their voices. But this is our mother, this is
the wife of the prophet SAW a setup and she is saying what she is saying, and so in his anger of wovoka rhodiola, when he kind of lost his temper, and it is as if perhaps he raised his hand maybe to you know, discipline and again, in that culture, the father would discipline the daughter and the husband would not this is the way it was. So he raised his hand Subhana Allah, we learn in the Hadith, as soon as he raised his hand, the prophet system stood up and came between abubaker and audacia Subhan Allah, you're not going to hit my wife Subhana Allah, He came between Abu Bakar and I should have the Allahu Allah to protect our Isha right after I show was rebuking him. Think about
the scene. Now the hand is raised the process who there what's going to happen? Obviously, Obama's hand goes down. He feels embarrassed. He excuses himself and he walks away to calm down. And the profitsystem now turns to Arusha. And notice here he is breaking the ice. He is now diffusing the tension. After all of this anger that has happened, he's diffusing the tension. This is the clock of the process of he says, Don't you see how I defended you against that man? Don't you see how I defended you against that man, meaning after all that you've done, I'm still gonna defend you. And they began talking back and forth until I woke it up. So do calm down. He came back again. He
knocked on the door he entered in and the two of them were laughing and smiling to the hacker they were laughing and smiling back to normal. And then he says apologizing Yasuda law, yada Sula, law, allow me to enter into your times of peace as I entered in doing your times of war together Subhan Allah, allow me to now participate during your times of peace feasts in mikuma, as I participated, when the two of you are battling one another, so our Prophet system smiled and said, Yes, indeed, we'll let you come in yesterday, we'll let you come in. This was his excuse an apology. My point being dear brothers and sisters in these anecdotes in these incidents, this is what the humanity of
our professors enemies, this is what we learn role models. Yes, every once in a while a husband and wife might get irritated might raise their voice, it is the reality of being human. But the goal is not that you have a marriage in which there's no fighting, no raising of the voice, no anger. No, that's impossible. The goal is that that is the exception. And the rule is that they're laughing together. The rule is that we're protecting one another as our Prophet sallallahu. I think he was selling him did and that is insha Allah under the goal that all of us can strive for, it is inshallah something we'll be talking about in the future. hobas as well, dear Muslims the norm, and
the goal is that your marriage brings more Sakina and more Rama and yes, there's going to be some tension, there's going to be some downs. It is what it is. Our Prophet system had an entire month where he slept in the masjid. We know this because of marital tensions, that is the reality of life. But in all of his years of marriage, that only happened once only happened once. So yes, sometimes the situation becomes tough. But the goal, the goal is that the positives far outweigh the negatives. And the goal is that the love and the mercy is what it should be. And we ask Allah Subhana which Allah to make all of our marriages like this Aloma in the dying for Aminu. Allah
homiletics. And if you haven't Yomi them been in LA for a while. Ah hum and Illa for Raja wala Dana la vita while Mr. De La Ilaha feta whether I see it on La assaulter allama Freeland, la one in La Nina ser una bella Eman wattage, I feel coluna hayleigh lilina armano rabina in Nakuru for Rahim, Allah whom I sell Islam I will muslimeen Allah whom I said Islam I will muslimeen Allah whom I'm an out Adana arada is now malusi mediabase Fh kuruman fc which added Miro fitted bt Yo yo yo Aziz regards a law in Allah Allah, American gambling by the IB he'd been upset within the Malacca the Kudo se with a become a u haul. Engine he will insert for call as a male Parliament edema in the law
homonuclear soluna other nebby you heard in amanu sallu la he was sending him with a steamer. Aloma suddenly was selling robotic or holiday across America. Mohammed was early he was a big marine robots a law in the law which Allah Yeah, mobile oddly, what ehsani wait either. corba Wang fashi Well, Moon kariobangi here a document I look into the Kuru Kuru law holiday made cuckoo was curious. What do they call it? Optimus sada.
Can we miss
Vito, he can