Channel: Yasir Qadhi
Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi elaborates on the topic of divorce, ways to salvage a marriage from the danger of divorce and the guidelines for a divorce as the final resort.
Marriage is one of the greatest blessings given by Allah SWT and we should always try to preserve it.
- The couple needs to communicate and address their issues with each other before bringing others into the turmoil.
- It is binding upon the spouses to overlook some minor issues and problems.
- The door of Istikhara should be approached in the event of deciding on a divorce.
Guidelines of divorce:
- Divorce has been made Haram during the menses.
- The husband and wife after the Talaq are required to live in the same house for three monthly cycles and she is not required to leave the house as is what is normally believed.
- Three divorces in one cycle is disastrous and should not be advocated or encouraged.
- Should the divorce eventually happen, then it is binding upon the husband to give a parting gift to the now ex- wife.
Listen intently to the lecture to delve deeper into the topic.
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But do you brothers and sisters in Islam, a few days ago, I got a call from somebody outside of our community doesn't relate directly to us. And the issue was pertaining to one of the most common issues as scholars and moms and dads get asked about. And it is an issue of a personal divorce that took place between him and his wife. And he called me up saying, I said this, and I regret saying this, and I don't know what to do now. And SubhanAllah. Brothers and sisters, one of the most taboo topics that we don't like to talk about, is the topic of divorce. But the fact of the matter is that people who fall into divorce, firstly, they never expect that they will fall into it. And secondly,
when they have fallen into it, and when it happens, because they don't know what to do. So many times they dig themselves in a hole they cannot get out of. So many times they cause mechanical problems for themselves. And then they call up a chef and they expect the shift to somehow solve the problems that they have caused. And therefore Today's topic is going to be a topic that is unpleasant for people to ponder over. It is not something that any married couple thinks about when they get married. But the fact of the matter is that this is a part of our lives. It is a part of community, it is a part of our city. And the fact of ignoring it does not change the reality of its
existence. And I will tell you, brothers and sisters as a person who is active in Islamic fields in this country traveling around the country, and having read studies and surveys. The sad reality is that our divorce rates, meaning the American Muslim community is coming closer and closer to the mainstream divorce rates that are prevalent around us and hamdulillah. It's not that bad yet. But still, divorce rates used to be in the one digits. Now they are 20 30% in the second generation. In other words, in just a little bit of time, they will be equivalent to the divorce rates that we have prevalent amongst this country. And the problem is brothers and sisters. The problem is most of
these couples, they didn't follow the Islamic procedure. They did not avail themselves to the law of Allah subhana wa Taala and they hastened into a exit into a final solution that they should not have hastened into how many marriages have been destroyed. How many children have been deprived from regular normal parents and lives how much damage has been done simply because men and women husbands and wives were hasty, we're arrogant, we're angry, we're ignorant of the [???]ty our brothers and sisters. Marriage is one of the greatest blessings Allah has given us as human beings. I have given a number of papers on the positive side I've given many talks about the love that should exist
between a husband and wife and Allah subhana wa tada has said in the Koran that will love will Giada Allah coming full circle as Raja wodeyar Allah can mean as far as you combine in our half adder what acuminata Yeah, but Allah has made from amongst you your spouses, and from the two of you He has given children and grandchildren. So which of the Blessings of Allah will you done? Will you deny Allah has given you so much good from your spouse's from your children from your great grandchildren and Allah subhana wa tada mentions that of His Signs is the love and mercy that exists between a husband and a wife. We know our mother and father Adam and Hawa that before even Allah azza wa jal
told Adam to enter agenda. Allah created what for him even before he was in gender. Welcome, Adam ozcan, anta was ojochal gender and when they came down to this earth, Allah said Bala built on minha Jamia the both of you go down Subhana Allah brothers and sisters, even in this even in this, we find a very important lesson. Couples need to stick through in the good and in the bad in general, and when they're punished to be flung onto this earth. Couples need to stick through not only in the good
Because this is the big problem, when it's lovey dovey when it's romantic when it's good, everybody wants to have a marriage like this. But how about when the going gets tough? How about when arguments develop. And this is the biggest problem that Muslim couples they haste into the exit door not realizing that exit door. It is like a fire escape. It's a fire escape, it should never be used. Unless there is an emergency or threatening situation. You should not even think of the fire escape. It's there. You know it, but it's not something you think about it's not something you want to use. Rather, it is only used in cases of dire necessity as a last resort. Unfortunately, brothers and
sisters we start thinking of the fire escape like the main entrance to our houses, and we start thinking how loss if the going gets tough, like I exit my house through the regular door, I shall exit this marriage through the fire escape. And this is not the way that our city has set up the normal institution of marriage. Allah subhana wa Tada. Calls marriage in the Koran meetha. Oliva what a husband I mean hoonah meetha clinica de veau you have taken from them a sacred covenant. A hard to trust me thought but what do you what do you mean strict? What do you mean sacred and mythique means covenant. So Allah calls marriage, a sacred a strict covenant, meaning a promise and
these strict promises you don't just break them for the flimsiest of things you don't break them because you had one argument you don't break them because your temper was last ones because she said something or he did this so panel on me thump en la de la is a sacred covenant and Allah subhana wa tada uses this phrase in the context of divorce in the context of divorce. Allah uses this phrase to describe married well husband amico, mythique en la de la and therefore this is demonstrating that this sacred covenant should not be broken unless and until there is no other alternatives. And in a very famous tradition, that all of you are aware of with the slight weakness in this chain butter
scholars have said the content is authentic that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is reported to have said, Behold, all hallelujah in the law, talaq, the most despised, of all things that are permitted in the eyes of Allah is divorce, the most despised Allah azza wa jal hates divorce despises divorce. It is Hannah. Yes, but there are some things that are highlighted. There are not resorted to unless you have to resort to them. It's not how long if a couple has to divorce, okay, they have to divorce. But the profitsystem told us alcohol don't hang on bald bald, there's a hatred despicable. It's not something that should be resorted to. And we learn in the Hadith that it
believes is so happy when a divorce takes place that he comes out of his chair and he hugs the shade bond that caused the couple to divorce that he believes is so happy when divorce takes place because he realizes that breaking a marriage is breaking a family breaking a family is causing children to split despair, it is causing problems in society, and therefore brothers and sisters before even somebody thinks about divorce before even somebody contemplates using this fire exit in the house, the first thing they need to do is to figure out what are the steps that I need to do before that stage is reached? What are the [???]tier alternatives before the final stage and what can be done to
prevent that and to save a marriage and of course, much can be done but in today's short haul but I will mention four simple points four simple points. First and foremost, a common sense dictates brothers and sisters common sense that when there's an issue, it needs to be brought up directly with one spouse. It needs to be brought up directly in communication before anybody else is brought in. Before family and friends are reached out the couple needs to discuss their issues together. And this is what Allah subhana wa tada says that when you fear something, when something happens, then 501 and 500 means to admonish and the admonishing means you explicit you explain I don't like this,
this should not have happened you should not have done this, you should not have treated me this way. Why did you say this it is hurtful to my feelings. Whatever the issue might be, it must be expressed to the other spouse, husbands, husbands, I advise you now that remember that Allah azzawajal has given you generally speaking the higher rank in marriage that Allah subhana wa tada has says that what is the God Allah hinda de Raja men have one daraja above and Allah azzawajal has blessed you with more physical and emotional strength, and therefore the damage you can cause is much more and the physical and the emotional damage because damage isn't just physical. It's also
emotional. It's also the tongue. Women are more fragile than men. As our Prophet system called them the delicate fragile vessels. He called them an ad. They're very delicate, and a man's hurtful comments can be more painful to a woman than even physical sometimes, and therefore brothers. Be careful what you say.
how you say it. Be careful in your expressions and always remember that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us is slow Zubin Nisa Ihara, I command you to treat women well. And he said the best of those men are the best of those who treat their wives in the best of manners, and I am the man who treats my wife in the best of all manners. And never once did our Prophet system rebuke any of his wives. Never once was he vulgar at them, never once did he lift a finger to lay it on their bodies. This is the role model that we have in our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And men always remember if Allah has blessed you with some privilege and some
responsibility, then with that privilege, as well, there should be leniency there should be turning around there should be ignoring and that is awful. That is just to forgive and overlook our process that I'm setting the famous ID that is misused or abused, that he said that a woman has been created from a rib. And the meaning of this idea explained, clarified in a previous holds but that from a man's perspective, a woman is not acting the way he thinks it is rational for a person to act. Sometimes a woman acts in a manner the man doesn't understand. And the man loses his temper or loses his patience. Why don't you act straight with me the way he would expect another man to act with
him, but a woman is not a man. And so what is our what is our process that I'm saying, the woman has been created in a different way than the man. So you need to just ignore overlook forgive, it is the man that needs to be the more forgiving, and the more overlooking, because the man is the one that has the responsibility. And the ultimate privilege of divorce really is in the hands of demand. So when he has this privilege, with this privilege should also come responsibility should also come the more wiser of the to the more mature of the two, okay, not everything will be perfect, let it go for the greater good and choose your battles wisely. Not every issue needs to be rebuked, not every
issue becomes a big issue, you are not perfect, so she will also not be perfect. So choose that which you want to have a discussion over in the wisest of manners. And now I speak to the wives here that wives just like I have said that men think differently than women and women think differently than men. You also need to understand that from your perspective, men are not acting the way you might think a woman friend would act. And one of the most important things is that every self help book every marriage book says something that might sound demeaning, but it is so true. It advises wives that all wives, sometimes you have to treat your husband like a child. Now what does this
mean? It means you need to explain to your husband like you would to a child. Why? Because I'll be very frank with you, women, you have it in your in your systems or in your methodologies that your husband will understand why you're irritated, or why you're giving him the cold shoulder or why you're giving him the cold treatment. And to you it's obvious something so big happened. And yet your husband did not solve the problem did not cater to the problem. So you become irritated. Let me explain to you, my dear sisters in Islam, that what is obvious to you might not be obvious to the men. What is so clear to you might not be clear to the men. And that is why before you jump to the
silent treatment, before you jump to some type of of withdrawal, or you're not being nice to your husband, be frank, bring up the subject. Explain why is it that you are hurt. And believe me many times you will be pleasantly surprised to realize your husband was clueless as to why you're irritated. And he will apologize and say I didn't even realize I said something in front of your friends that you took it in this matter whatever the case might be. Many times the husband will realize but he didn't understand the problem. So what did you gain by becoming angry by becoming pent up in your in your frustration without first communicating with your spouse. And so the first
things both parties need to do is to communicate and also as I advise husbands to overlook the faults of their wives, wives as well I advise you overlook the force of your husbands, you are not perfect, he is not perfect, you are not perfect. She is not perfect. The both of you are imperfect, you will not find a perfect spouse, they don't exist. And so every one of you will have mistakes. Therefore, you must tolerate some mistakes and your partner wives your husband's as well might have some issues. They might have some sharp tongue, they might have some some flare, some some anger flare, whatever it might be, weigh the pros and the cons out and understand that as our profitsystem
said, Any woman who prays her five prayers, and fast the month of Ramadan and protects her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Jenna through any door she desires. And in another head he thought profitsystem said any woman who dies and her husband is pleased with her she will be from the people of Jenna. In other words, my dear sisters in Islam, Allah subhana wa Taala has made it a religious blessing, a religious duty upon you through which you can earn gender. If you sacrifice your own ego you know you might be right well or you might be right but
By humbling yourself not for the sake of your husband, for the sake of your Creator, by humbling yourself and swallowing your pride, and then forgetting about the issue or forgiving or moving on, perhaps you might lose this one battle. But guess what you will save the marriage and saving the marriage is winning your battle, saving the marriage is winning your battle. And realize if you give up something for the sake of Allah, Allah subhana wa tada will give you more than what you gave up. So this is the first piece of advice, direct dialogue, the second piece of advice after direct dialogue, what should be done is that if that doesn't work, then each party should approach close
relatives and close friends, family and friends, those whom you know, have your best interest in mind, those whom you know, will be genuinely helpful. We all have our circle of close friends, intimate friends, we have our circle of close family. So in this case, the husband and the wife, they do have the right each one of them, they go to their close friends, and get some advice, get some ideas. And that's really where friends and family come into help where these private issues should not be displayed in public. And by the way, husbands and especially wives, because wives have this problem more than husbands never, ever talk about your problems of marriage as a first resort,
let this be a second third resort. Otherwise, every problem of marriage should remain within the household for as long as possible. It is not something that needs to be spilled to society. Now, suppose that doesn't work. And suppose direct talk is not working and it is a big issue. In this case, then you do have the right to go to family and friends, not for the sake of backbiting, not for the sake of smearing your spouse's reputation, not for the sake of putting him down for the sake of getting advice to protect your marriage, husbands and wives when you approach other people let this be your Nia if your Nia is so that other people criticize your wife or if your Nia sisters is
so that other sisters say oh what a bad husband, then will law he you have lost the plot. If you are going to value smearing your husband over saving the marriage then really you have lost the plot when you go to other people and sometimes you have to go to other people let the knee or let the intention be what can I do to better the situation? What advice do you give me so that we can save the marriage? If you go with this attitude, then inshallah Tada This is a good second stage you go to close family and friends. Suppose that and we have in the sphere of our Prophet system when there was a personal issue he faced he went to Saudi Arabia thought he went to his aid had been had it and
he confided in them What do you think I should do? And they explained back to him their points of view this is the Prophet Muhammad SAW said him he has a personal issue in one of his households and he goes to his aid, he goes to it What about us? How about me and you then no problem when you go to close family and friends, for the sake of solving this issue. Suppose that doesn't work and the matter gets even more than this? Well, then there is one straw that the Quran clearly says that when you lift them Chicago veiny Hema, if you think that there's going to be a divorce, further Ethical Hacker Minh alley, he will have haccombe I mean earlier, then let each of the two the husband and
the wife, find one arbitrator from his side, one arbitrator from her site, and let the two arbitrators sit down and officially and openly meaning amongst a couple of these two doesn't have to become public to the rest of the world. But these arbitrators, they need to be told of all the issues, all the beans have to be spilled out. And according to Islamic law, what these arbitrators say is legally binding, meaning the husband and wife are obliged by law to follow their counsel. And if they don't, they are sinful. And of course, this is a methodology and a practice that is very healthy, very good to be resorted to after the personal and after the family and friends. Then you
move to the arbitrators and the way this is done, the husband will find somebody preferably somebody older than him respected from his family or if he doesn't have family, a friend that knows him. And that will be the person a neutral party, and the wife does the same some elder from her family or if she doesn't have family in this part of the world, some friend of hers that she trusts to be neutral and then the both of these arbitrators will get involved and the way they will get involved the scholars have different but one of the easiest ways each arbitrator will speak to firstly the person who brought him in privately and then they will go to the other party privately. So, each of the two
arbitrators will speak to the husband and the wife separately, so that they can hear in an O in a in a clear air without any pressure from from the spouse, what is the issue at stake, and then afterwards, they can meet together both husband and wife and the two arbitrators. So that all of these discussions can be done and perhaps the two arbitrators some of the scholars say they should meet with one another before they actually meet with the with the couples together. So for example, arbitrator a will go to the wife, then he will go to the husband, then he will go to the second arbitrator who has also spoken to the wife and the husband so that the two arbitrators are neutral,
they want to save the marriage. They want to break their marriage so they can discuss you know, the whole
husband has a temper you know the wife has a sharp tongue, they can both agree these are clearly we have noticed this to be the problem and then when they meet together then they will clearly say, oh husband, you have to control your anger or wife You have to control your tongue or both of you have to do this or not. And therefore Allah subhana wa tada has said that this is a last resort. And the good news is and this new should be memorized by every couple going through a problem that Allah says in the Quran in you read that Islam when you are 50 law who buy in Houma, if the two of them want to live together, and they want to have a good marriage and if they want to have peace, Allah
will bring that peace in their marriage. And so we have a rule in the shediac brothers and sisters, if the couple wants to have peace and a good marriage, if the couple does not want divorce, Allah subhana wa tada will bring about a way that the marriage remains together. And the fourth piece of advice and this is not in chronological order, the fourth one, the fourth should be throughout. So the first three are chronological. The fourth one it is throughout and that is the door of his taharah that is the door of turning to Allah subhana wa tada and praying salat, that is the harder withdrawal is the harder and of course it's the harder is something that you do when you are faced
between two options and choices. Never should any coupled undertake a dramatic decision, especially that of divorce without praying istikhara suppose all of this then leads us to divorce. Suppose the couples the arbitrating parties, they still decide we have to part our ways. In this case, brothers and sisters, let them understand that divorce has a procedure. Divorce has a methodology. Divorce has an entire process and of course in the house, but I cannot go into the detail of how a divorce occurs. Nonetheless, because this is so important. I must summarize some issues because unfortunately, many of us if I were to offer a class on the field of divorce, we will not get too
many people coming It's not a topic people like to talk about and yet when couples divorce, they need to have this knowledge so that they don't completely destroy any chance of coming back. Realize My dear brothers and sisters that the laws of divorce are very clear in the Koran and very strict and Allah subhana wa tada has threatened the believers with playing with these laws are trying to find a way out realize that first and foremost no divorce can occur when a woman is in her menses such a divorces how long such a divorce is called putlocker bidri is an innovative divorce and whoever divorces his wife while she is in her menses has incurred the anger of Allah has incurred a
sin from Allah subhana wa tada and he must take her back that divorce must be an old and he must take her back because this is what happened that lifetime the prophet SAW said him that he had been or divorced his wife when she was in his menses and the process and became very angry at this and he said, Maura who fell you arogya command him to take that woman back and then once the menses are over, and he has not touched her when she is pure, then he may divorce her soul brothers and sisters and this is common sense. And a women know this and men who are married notice women in their menses they get more emotional women in their menses their tongue become sharper, their mood becomes
irritable and also a man cannot be intimate with his wife during this time. So even the man sometimes becomes irritable because he does not have the love that he generally is used to from his wife. So tempers can flare because of this divorce has been made. How long during a woman's menses. If a man really wants to divorce, he must wait one must he wait, when the menses are finished? He waits. So anger is never a time when you divorce you have to stop yourself. Be patient, a lot that never wants you to divorce on the spur of the moment, which is unfortunately 99% of time. This is the call that I get share hi got angry and I divorced my wife so Pamela this was your first mistake.
You don't divorce on the spur of the moment. Divorce is something you plan like you planned your marriage you plan a divorce if it has to take place. Divorce is something you think about and when you do this, the first thing you need to do is to set the dates just like you said the date for marriage and that date cannot be today. It cannot be tomorrow it must be when the woman has finished her menses and then she has taken her back and you have not touched her meaning sexually intimately. If you have had intimacy with her, you're not allowed to divorce her for that entire cycle. And you have to wait for the next cycle so that there is a period of time that you have not been intimate
with her. Then you utter one word of divorce. This is after all the other things have been done. you utter one word of divorce one time only and that is I divorced you or however else you want to say it you say it one time only another big mistake, which is unfortunately a disastrous mistake that men up to the divorce three times and this is a big disaster. Never should a man say I divorce you I divorced. I divorce you never if divorce because once he does that, then the fate has been sealed. The door has been shut. You leave the door open in case the marriage can go back
Now listen to this next point and will love your brothers and sisters ask yourselves, think of somebody that went through a divorce and ask yourself, did any of them follow this procedure? The next point by the text of the Quran, Allah subhana wa tada says that after you do this right for that larger collegial, min booty hinge region, let not the husbands kick the wife out, nor should she herself leave the house of her husband Subhana Allah, after the toddler, the husband and wife are required by Islamic law to live under the same roof for three cycles. And in these three cycles, the husband and wife are not allowed to be physical forget physical, they cannot even be romantic,
not even a romantic word or a kiss. Forget the actual act. They cannot show the love that is unique to spouses. Why? Because if they show that love instantaneously, that divorce is taken back. Now you tell me, is it possible for a husband and wife even after the worst anger that three months go by three months? And the two of them have no soft words? No touching? No kissing? nothing more than this? Is it possible in the same house? It's not possible. And this is what Allah wants to show. You can't live without one another deep down inside, there is love. Okay, you had a bad time. Now see if you can live together for three months. If you really want to divorce, you're never going to touch
each other forever. Call us prove it to yourselves for three months live in the same house like strangers, meaning no physical Of course, if the husband or the wife wants they can prepare food or something but nothing physical, nothing physical. Allah is asking us if you really want it, then prove it. And Allah says La la la vida de de Coimbra, perhaps Allah will bring something new into the equation, meaning what, in those three months, the moods will change. The husband and wife will realize you know what, it's not we should move on, we should work our things out. You tell me brothers and sisters, if a couple that wanted to divorce one through the Islamic way, how many would
actually end up in a divorce. Now suppose you've had a law, suppose those three months actually went by and they didn't touch one another. Then when the third menses are over, then the woman goes back to her other house, her parents house or wherever, and then the divorce which is only once becomes final, but this divorce is a one time divorce. If the husband wants the wife and the wife wants the husband, they can remarry again. And that's the second time they can get married. If suppose the second time they still divorce. We all know divorces only three times a third of humara 10. Divorce is twice meaning coming back and forth. Because the third divorces, you cannot take it back. Right?
So if and by the way, one of the biggest mistakes as I said, three divorces in one go or three divorces in one sitting or three divorces in one cycle, this is not something you're supposed to do. If divorce really wants to take place you are to one divorce for the whole three cycles, one only. And then it is done after that. Once it is over. Now it is up to the to if they want to remarry, they need a new nikka a new contract a new method. And if they want to go their ways, they are free to do so. also realize my dear brothers and sisters, that when it comes to divorce, there is no such thing as joking around. Our Prophet system said sedef did do hoonah Judo has learned three things.
If you're serious, they will be counted as serious. But even if you joke, they will be counted as serious. Why? Because this is a very big matter. One of those three he said of
three things. You don't joke with your wife that Yeah, okay. You are divorced. This is what type of marriage is this? It's such a serious matter. Would you joke about Alan His messenger? Would you make fun about the Quran? You wouldn't do this. So this is a sacred contract without going into diva. And you don't joke about breaking a sacred contract? You have to be very careful. Now, obviously, when we say joking about divorce, we mean a husband literally says to his wife that yes, you have been divorced or something. This is something that is not permitted to do it is sinful to do. And if this happens, you need to ask a federal permission. Because some scholars would say if a
husband literally says this to his wife, because our Prophet system said even if you joke about it, it will be counted. Seriously, realize brothers and sisters, that people when they fall into a divorce, nobody is prepared. Nobody expects it to happen. And yet it is a part and parcel of society. It should not be mistreated or abused. A man came to a boss and he said, oh, I've been a boss. I divorced my wife 100 times. It'd been a bus said
the first three have made your wife permanently hold on for you. And the rest of the 97 you have taken them as a joke against Allah and His messenger. You have joked with something that is so serious, and you have taken the book of Allah subhana wa Tada. As a joke brothers and sisters in Islam. A divorce is never done in haste. A divorce is never done in anger. If a person genuinely
wants to take the fire exit then it had better be to save himself from a bigger problem a bigger issue. Otherwise divorce is always the last resort. Dr. Kalani welcome for another one if any way yeah could be my family it was declared Hakeem Apollo Mata Simone was tough with a lot of things that he would have commonly said I'm assuming putting them in first cell food in the world of food. All right.
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah wa had a had a summer delimited with a mule at wollombi akula. Hakuna However, you can ask the brothers to move forward the mustard has been confirmed. If a divorce does take place my dear brothers and sisters. This does not mean that either or both couples are necessarily evil. A divorce is not necessarily bad. Sometimes you need to use the fire escape. Sometimes it is a resort that must be resorted to. And my dear brothers and sisters in the lifetime of the Prophet sister. Many of the Sahaba got divorced. And they were legitimate reasons for that. And they will not blame for that. Just because the divorce has taken place doesn't make you a bad
person. The best example they have been hard eater and Xena vintage Ash is a Debian saboteur they've inherited some reason and Xena, vintage ash, Zaid and zeyneb. Were both beloved to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And the both of them the processing has known since before the days of Islam, and both of them they were married at the request of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. But they didn't get along. And they're both good people. And the process was plenty of Hadith praising them. They were both good people, but their personalities clashed. It wasn't an issue of a man. It was an issue of good and bad. They were both good. But sometimes too good people just don't
get along for other reasons. And so eventually they had to divorce and the divorce took place and they were not chastised. They were not they were not blamed for that. And this is the reality brothers and sisters that if a divorce does take place for legitimate reasons, then we as a society should cast no blame on either of the parties. And in fact, Allah subhana wa tada tells us something very interesting in the Koran that if a divorce is going to take place and you're going to divorce your wife, Allah says the husband is obligated to give a parting gift to his wife. You tell me When's the last time you heard of a divorced couple following this boronic obligation? One mactier
ruhuna lol moosey Reekado democracy. Let the husband's gift the wife, the rich man according to his means, and the poor man according to his means. So the rich man might give a parting gift of a diamond ring Believe it or not. Subhana Allah what Shetty is it I asked you what law on earth tells the husband who is divorcing his wife, if you really are going to divorce then give her a gift as a parting item. You tell me what law on Earth would do this. This is the law of Allah subhana wa tada that cleanse all of these ill feelings. Okay, it didn't work out. May you have the best May I have the best and Allah says in the Quran well that if you keep them keep them in good and if you part
ways fiery who who? Nabeel maruf go your separate ways in good. A real Islamic divorce should not have bitterness, anger acrimony, if it didn't work out. It didn't work out. We both tried. May you have the best ma I have the best. And this giving of gifts. This is the ultimate sign that there's nothing in my heart if if it didn't work out, we tried and Allah subhana wa tada is demonic and he controls everything. Also, my dear brothers and sisters, we need to be very clear as well. Another relevant issue. Our society considers divorcees to have a stigma attached to them. And because of this stigma, many divorces especially ladies for some reason, the stigma is not that bad in the men
even though it is still there. But especially ladies who have been divorced, it is tough for a lot as if society has decided that they are evil women not to be touched ever again, not to be married ever again. Why the hell would overlap with a labella Subhanallah brothers and sisters, we do not find a shred of the stigma in classical Islam in the Quran in the sooner It is enough of an evidence that this stigma is a figment of our cultural imagination that our own prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam all of his wives were divorcees or widows except for one. And have there been any issue attached to a divorce lady. Had there been any issue attached to any such lady? Our Profit
System would not have married such a lady but all of his wives except for our issue? were divorced or widowed ladies, what does that show you? And Subhanallah we have so many examples of smart Binti roommates a smart bet you're amazed that Sahaba that noble Sahaba she was married to Jaffa Jaffa diocese Shaheed she's still relatively young. She has children to Jaffer who proposes for her none other than abubaker Sylvia, who does the marriage none other than the Prophet sallallahu
You said, well Abu Bakar doesn't live for too long. He also dies shortly after this. Then what then she marries Ali. Ali Subhana Allah from Jaffa to Abu Bakar to Ali and neither did any husband feel that oh she was with another man How can she was with a friend of mine it in Abu Bakar were friends Ali and Jaffa were brothers. But he didn't feel in his heart. Oh, how can I touch this lady? She's beyond me. Now hold on. Oh, who's Ella Bella. This did not exist and there's other Sahaba we can go on and on article, the daughter of native Anambra. menoufia The famous man in the days of JD, Attica, she went through four different sahabas all of them famous all of them they died Shaheed one
after the other so much so that even abas he wasn't a joker was a semi serious Allah knows best. All of her husbands they died shahidan battles. So I've been a boss said whoever wants to become a Shaheed Next, let him marry Attica. Next, right because all of her husband, but there was no stigma attached to the lady who was divorced or the lady who became a widow. So Pamela, why then in our society, do we have this stigma brothers and sisters in Islam? If a couple does end up in divorce, Allah says in the Quran, we need to farakka Yogananda who call them insanity, what kind of law who have for us and idema that if the both of them split up and if the both of them have to go their
ways, Allah subhana wa Taala will take care of the both of them and provide for them and Allah azzawajal is indeed all knowing and All Merciful. Brothers and sisters marriages are meant to be protected marriages are supposed to last but if for legitimate reasons, they do not last then have hamdulillah marriage is something that is a resort when there is a need for the only problem The only issue, let no one ever decide a divorce in haste. Let no one ever fall into divorce without planning just like the marriage was planned. So too, if we reach that stage of divorce, the divorce as well should be planned in order for it to be Islamic. And I must say at the end here that if
somebody is thinking about divorce, have all of these options have been met, make sure you go to a share a scholar, make sure you sit down just like you planned your marriage out and you figured out who's going to do the knockout and what is the procedure before you embark on this this option which might be helpful, it might be necessary in some cases before you embark on it, get diffic get the rulings get the procedure so that you don't shut the door on yourself. You don't dig your own grave in this world before the next if you have to do it do it properly and when it is done properly then there is no sin and blame on anyone may Allah subhana wa tada grant is good in this world and an
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