Sister’s Halaqa Q&A
Channel: Yasir Qadhi
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Episode Transcript ©
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said I want to go to law here but I counsel we begin by praising Allah subhanho wa Taala and sending salatu salam upon our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. This is our monthly sisters Halaqa and I was feeling that for the last two times, so we usually have our q&a and our interactions when I have the sisters Halaqa but obviously because of the lockdown in our online, there has not been any q&a. So I thought that insha Allah as all of you got the email that I would respond to all of your questions in sha Allah for this month of Ramadan. So I have a whole series of questions that our epic sisters have forwarded, and inshallah we'll continue this as well that if you have any specific
questions for them to the sisters email address, and inshallah Tada, they will be forwarded to me and then I will answer them in sha Allah to Allah. But before I answer the questions, just a generic reminder, for those of you that perhaps didn't log on yesterday, just a reminder that I did advise our families, all of the families that are in our Memphis, Dallas area, I advise all of them that inshallah to Allah, that they should take into consideration that this Ramadan is a different Ramadan than previous normal bonds, and that we should not burden our spouses. So I did advise the husbands and particularly yesterday, and if you didn't get that and listen to that, and informed
them that clip, and this is the appropriate time now before the month of Ramadan begins to sit down with the entire family, and to discuss a program that will take into account your personal actions of worship, your free time, your own Ibadat, your vicar, your Quran, there will probably be no better opportunity, no better Ramadan, then for you to have a lesser burden than typically if you did have like, again, I'm being just generic here that generally speaking, our sisters do have the lion's share of the burden. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm simply describing it as it is that our sisters do have more chores generally speaking, in this month of Ramadan, and they take on
a lot in terms of cleaning in terms of cooking, which of the Ramadan is spent in the kitchen, and obviously that does come at a cost to their personal Ibadat. So I suggest that this Ramadan given that there are no invitations, no functions, no Dawa is going on, nothing going on like that. You sit down the entire family and lay out a schedule, lay out an entire even allocate chores as well. And try as well to encourage each each other to eat in a healthy manner. We all know that the month of Ramadan should be a month of Riba and vicar and Quran and ritual salah, and it has, unfortunately become also a month of parties and fancy food and whatnot. And that's not the spirit of Ramadan. So
let's keep it simple. Let's try in sha Allah to Allah this Ramadan to make it our best stumbled on I gave some practical advice last time as well, in that regard. Yesterday, you can listen to the talk I gave, welcoming Ramadan, and they give some practical advice about that. But there has to be communication, you cannot just expect people to change without talking to them without sitting down into being frank with them and explain to them look, I also have a right you know, to have a bother to do vicar to read Quran. And it's not fair to burden, you know, one, one person so much, and especially, it is time as well to teach responsibility to the next generation, our children if
they're of age, to give them responsibility as well. Also, dear sisters, and again, I said this yesterday, I'm going to repeat this as well, that unfortunately, I've seen and heard I should say from you know what's going on that all too many people are simply getting lazy, and they're just kind of not doing much, you know, in terms of their own mental growth, even religious growth, even physical growth. And they're just vegetating and you know, watching drama after drama. That's not the spirit of a Muslim, much less the spirit Ramadan. If you're not going to put in the effort for this month, you're not going to get to the result of this month either. You have to show Allah
subhanaw taala your dedication, your commitment, and that means that you make an extra effort that means that you get up for tahajjud you read the Quran, you do your vicar
If you minimize wasting time, and you cut off sins as much as possible, that is the whole spirit of this month of Ramadan. And if we do that, then as I explained yesterday, there is the potential that this Ramadan insha Allah will be our best Ramadan ever if we approach it with our right frame of mind. So with that I wanted to just jump in immediately there's a lot of questions and again, inshallah we'll do this again, even within the month, no problem, you know, feel free to email, the sisters email address, and inshallah they'll be forwarded to me, so I have more than a dozen questions. So let us begin. The first question our sister asks that, can you go over the the
permissibility of reading Quran during the menstrual cycle, and what should I do if I'm in my menses in the month of Ramadan? So, this is obviously a question that is a common one, everybody asked this question. Generally speaking, I follow the majority position here that discourages or in fact prohibits the recitation of Quran as an active Tilawat during that time of the month, just like Salah is forbidden. So to the recitation of the Quran as an act of worship is forbidden. And this is the position of three of the four schools and it is the vast majority of position and it is the one that seems to be quite clear in the Quran and the Sunnah. However, that does not mean that you sit
around and do nothing, the month is still bless it. And the opportunity to earn Allah's reward is still there. Just because one or two doors have been shut during this time, doesn't mean that the other doors are not open, you may do a vicar you may do do app, you may do an act of worship that is now easier for you to do, because you are not going to be fasting and you're not going to be praying and doing Quran, you may seek knowledge. And so during those days that you are off from salah, you actually can use that energy and that time to do an intensive study of something Alhamdulillah you have the internet Alhamdulillah YouTube videos are in the 10s of 1000s and Hamdulillah. So many
books are written as well. So in that timeframe, don't just give up and do nothing, no, rather utilize that to do something else that will bring you the rewards of Allah subhanho wa Taala also, there is no sin whatsoever. If you study the Quran as the seal. What is not encouraged to do is to recite the Quran as an activity loud. So you just open up the Quran and you just recite your daily Jews that you will typically recite during that week. Majority of scholars say and that is my position as well that you should not be doing that. However, you may study the Quran without tilava you may read the Tafseer books you may even read the Arabic but if you're going to touch the Quran,
then you should be wearing gloves. You may read the Arabic and then read the translation or the Tafseer and benefit from that no problem whatsoever. seeking knowledge is a great action of worship that can be done in any state that you are in. So to summarise during that timeframe, do not feel that you're not going to be able to come closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala rather the beautiful Hadith in Sahih Bukhari mentions that I should have the Allahu Anhu when they're going for Hajj, Shadow The Allahu anha she started her menses and this was her one and only Hajj with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, she was really looking forward to it. And she started her menses and
the Prophet system entered the tent and he saw her crying and he said What is the matter with you? Have you begun your menses he figured out that that's why she's nothing else would have happened. What is the matter with you? Have you begun your your your cycle? And she said yes. And so the Prophet system said don't worry, don't cry. This is something that Allah has decreed on all of the daughters of Adam. So do what every single person is doing except that you don't do throw off of the cab, okay. So to every other thing. So you will go to Arafat you will make dua, you will do vicar you will ask us to fall you will be with the project. So everything will be done, except that you do
not do tawaf. That's the one thing that you cannot do, that other projects are doing. So the point here is that you should have the Allahu Anhu felt sad and the process that don't feel sad, the opportunities are still there. Just because one thing is shut doesn't mean the other things are shut as well. This is the same spirit that we should have now, a subsidiary question some people ask some of our sisters asked that, am I allowed to take medication to delay the the weekly cycle during this month of Ramadan? And the responses and are speaking from a field perspective you should speak to your doctor from a medical perspective because we don't want to do anything that is going to be
harmful to a particular person and people very what is and isn't recommended for them from a 50 perspective this
is permissible even though it should not be encouraged. Why? Because there is no need to interfere in the cycle, especially for Ramadan, I understand for Hajj, things might get a little bit more difficult and time constraint. But for the month of Ramadan, it's something that every single, you know, Lady since the time of the Prophet system up until our times up until the Day of Judgment is wanting to face and it's not something of an issue. Nonetheless, if
a sister wants to do this, then it is not sinful, nor even is it something that is inherently discouraged. But it cannot be encouraged for sure, because the default is you stay as you are. But if you for whatever reason you feel that you want to do that it is permissible to do that, as long as it is something that is from a medical perspective, good and healthy and normal for you. So that is the first question. The second question.
Sister is asking that, can she make dua in the search of the form of Salah? Or is it only allowed in the Nuffield salah? And if so then can the DUA be done in any language? So as with almost every question on this paper, and every question that's ever asked of a scholar, almost every question that is asked, because nobody asked how many times is a Muslim prayed, then I'll say five, and there's no difference of opinion. Nobody asks, What direction do we face I'll say the Qibla. And there is no difference of opinion. Generally speaking, when people ask questions, they're asking for the gray areas. When there are gray areas, you're going to find, you know, interpretations. And so
this is one of those gray areas. In today's q&a. I'm just giving you what I think is the strongest opinion without going into the counter opinions and counter evidences, the sister says, can she make dua in the Sajida of the fourth? And can she make that dua in any language? The response? Yes, yes, yes, yes, she may make dua, in any Sajida. And in any language, there is no restriction from the Hadith about making dua, and there is no restriction from the Quran and Sunnah about the language of dua. And this the second point is by unanimous consensus that you may make dua in any language, but the problem would come within salah, some of our scholars are very restrictive and they say, the
Salah from the fat from the if data from Allahu Akbar to the Tasneem. The Salah should be all in Arabic, and I understand that sentiment, but there is no evidence for this. And our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he encouraged people to make dua, obviously, he's speaking to a group of outros, but he knows that his message is going to be given to the non Arabs as well. And he knows that the OMA is going to increase manifold and he didn't say, oh, but by the way, this is only for Arabic, nor did he say, restrict yourselves to the DUA that you are taught in the Quran and Sunnah he left it open. And he said that when you are in the state of Sajida, then increase your DUA
because the chances of your dog being answered are very high, and he left it open. This means there are many different dialects of Arabic. And to this day one a person makes two are the one who makes two are in Moroccan Arabic is very different than the one who makes dua in Iraqi Arabic versus the one who makes dua in Surah, the Arabic versus one who makes two in egyptian arabic. And if you know these different dialects, you will know that the differences are almost as much almost as much as between some of the languages even because there are so radically different for those who don't understand they're very simplistic. This can only be made in Arabic, and I respond to them. Which
Arabic Do you mean, Egyptian, Arabic, Syrian, Arabic, Kuwaiti Arabic, Yemeni Arabic, you know, Moroccan Arabic, they are so different. In fact, the Arabic that the Prophet system used to speak the classical Arabic, it is no longer spoken anywhere as a living language. And everybody who had studied Arabic knows this, right? It's nothing new that I'm teaching. It's not just a fact, no group of Arabs speak classical Arabic amongst themselves as a family as a society only in bubbles of Islamic seminaries. When I went to the rescue in Medina, some of our teachers would speak in the classical Arabic but even that, usually they just revert to the sort of the dialect when they're
teaching only when we're quoting Quran and Sunnah. Will they actually then be forced to because that is in the classical Greek, imagine Shakespeare versus modern English. Shakespeare is only 500 years old. The Arabic of the Sahaba is 1400 years old. Can you imagine the difference? My point being Why is all of this here when some scholar says a nine out of usually when a non Arab says you must make dua in Arabic, you respond to him the Arabic of today is almost incomprehensible compared to the Arabic of the classical times the Arabic or classical times. Most modern Arabs, when they open up the Quran, they understand maybe 40 50% 60% at max, they don't understand the whole Quran. There are
things in there that are not under the hadith is even more so. The point being this notion of our Diaz and our prayers being restricted only in Arabic, no
What is in Arabic the Quran? Yes when we recite Fatiha should be in Arabic. What is in Arabic the earth god of Salah Subhanallah bit Allah Subhanallah LDM what have been our local hams? Allahu Akbar, you say that in Arabic Other than this, when it comes time for dua, you may make dua in any language and you may make dua in any solid photo salah, sunnah salah, Nephi Salah Taha juicer, Witter salah, no problem, when you go into Sajida after you say subhanallah bill, Allah Subhana Allah subhanaw taala either you make dua and you make dua from the heart and you make dua in any language, no problem whatsoever and my May I encourage all of you to make dua especially in the
or the Tarawera, Salah in the nights of Ramadan Jade, the next
question that we have here is for fuddled, or for knuffel fasting, can the intention be made up until mid day? If I didn't make it before dawn? And the same goes for other? Does the intention have to be made before dawn? Or can I make it up until the mid day? Okay, so
for the forum, and for the cover of the fourth, right, so you have some fast you have to make up from last Ramadan. And you have to make them up before this Ramadan. By the way, if you haven't done that, please do that. It's very important. In case you do not do that before this Ramadan, then there is a bit of a sin on you. But I mean, not Janee a major sin but still, it's something that's Mikuru I should say not to sin, but it is McGrew and make it up. As soon as you can after this Ramadan finishes, you don't want to pile it up, you should get rid of the debt to Allah as fast as possible. But when you are making up called La, and when you are fasting, the fourth fast of
Ramadan, you must have had the NIA before Salat al Fajr before the advent of Fudger. Now, this does not mean that you have to wake up at 4am Every single day. Right now Ramadan is going to come in your heart is the new year for the entire month that is good enough. And so if a day comes when you wake up at so the Fajr Adan is coming in, let's say at 540, I suppose you wake up at 621 day and are like, Oh my God, I didn't I didn't have the intention. No, you have the intention, because we all have the intention to pass the entire month of Ramadan. And that is good enough. So you need to have the intention before than a budget. And a generic intention for the entire month is good enough.
However, if it is enough, fill fast enough fill fast, you just want to fast because it needs in order to act of worship, nothing fast or much easier. And not fill fast, you can decide to fast in the middle of the day, or even frankly, even after the some scholars said in the middle of the day. And And some said even after this, and that is the stronger position because there's no evidence to restrict it to the middle of the day, that if you decide to fast at 11am, at noon, at 1pm or 3pm. But obviously, there's one important condition. And frankly, very few of us meet that condition that condition is we should not have eaten or drinking anything since the budget event. So by 4pm How
many amongst us would not even have had a sip of water. Think about that. But suppose somebody wakes up, you know, they pray Fudger they go back to sleep, they wake up at let's say 11 o'clock, let's say okay, I had a long night and and they just wake up, go to sleep after fajr 11 Or even noon, and they wake up and they're like, oh, it's already 1130 You know, only six hours left or seven hours left might as well fast, no problem, as long as they haven't taken a sip of water, or even a morsel of food from the time of Fajr. And they can make the knee too fast enough fail fast anytime of the day, no problem, but not the fold and not the cobalt for the fourth because in the amount of India
and when you want to do a photo that is a higher level. And you have to have the NIA from the beginning of the fast and Allah azza wa jal knows best.
The next question is a very personal question. But it is dealing with someone in our own community. So because of this, I'm answering it otherwise, I would not have taken this question to do and also I will change some of the details because it is not my habit to mention specific groups. So there's a sister in our community who got married to a man from a different sect of Islam. And she didn't have much knowledge about that sect. She didn't know that much about it. And now that they have two kids, and these religious differences are becoming a little bit more
coming to the forefront. Now she is wondering whether her marriage is valid or not, and whether she should continue or not. This is a very personal question. And I'm not going to answer specifically for this sister, she needs to go to a even if in our community, she's to come to me or somebody and then speak to me directly so I can get more details and also speak to the husband, but I will speak generically. I'm not going to mention the group's name, but I'll mention one or two details. So that
SR knows that it is her case that I'm talking about that. This is a group that is formed in India around 1000 years ago or to be more of no sorry, not 1000 years ago, 600 years ago, 600 years ago.
And there was a person in India who claimed to be the MADI, and he was from a village called John pool. And this is a sector, small, miniscule segment, a lot of people are aware of this group. And her husband is from this group. And when she got married, she didn't know anything much about this group. And now it's coming to the forefront. So the general rule, and I'm going to be very careful here. The general rule that I have, and this is an ethical and moral advice not to 51
We should marry people who have similar religious backgrounds as we do. Why? Because this history is explaining exactly why what's going to happen when you marry generally speaking, most Muslims are so so religious, not that religious. Okay, that's the way people are any, I'm not endorsing as the way it is. But then usually it is Allah, sunnah. And other usually 510 years down the line, one of the two gets more religious, right. And this is when the issues come. And all of a sudden, you know, when they first got married, they didn't care that much about religion, or they agreed to respect each other's personal religious rituals. Good enough, okay. But then there's going to be a clash of
schedules, then there's going to be debate over dinner, and then the kids and then who's going to raise the kids in which religious strand and then which mosque are they going to go to and then which interpretations are going to be taught? So all of these things, most couples, when they're newly married, or before marriage, when they're falling in love with one another, they don't think these things through. And that's why elders they have a huge point of wisdom here that our youngsters don't understand that birds of a feather flock together, people have a similar background, similar mindset, similar, you know, even socio economic level. Of course, it's allowed
to do whatever you want, as long as it's highlighted in Islam is allowed to marry completely different, no problem at all. But generally speaking, human society has shown that when there is compatibility and compatibility is warm, not just because of an excitement of an interesting dinner table conversation, no compatibility is long term, 3040 years of a life lived together. This generally means you have shared values, shared backgrounds, shared upbringing shared, you know, religious values, no, again, technically, it is halal to marry any Muslim from any group of Islam that is within the mainstream of Islam. And this group that the sister mentioned, I will not mention
its name. This group is within Islam. It has beliefs that are different than ours. It believes that the MACD has come and gone and they believe in the magic, but they don't believe in another prophet, if there is a group that believes in another prophet that Allah says way down, and they call their founder, a Nebby, or a Rasul or whatever they want to use the technical term and they believe he is sent by Allah as a prophet than this is a red line that expels this group from the fold of Islam. Just like if somebody believed in a God besides Allah, and they said that we believe in another creator, that doesn't matter if they call themselves Muslim, they are not Muslim. So the group that
the sister is asking about does not have deviations to that level. It believes in the figure, and we as Sunnis believe in a Maddy, the she I believe that the MACD is existent, this group believes the MACD has come and died, this is yet another group out there. And they do have certain differences in our groups. But
as somebody who knows theology and my expertise is athlete and theology, I am aware of this group and I have studied their writings from their sources. And I have studied this group
to the extent that I'm interested in studying and I have not seen anything that would consider this group to be outside the fold of Islam. Rather, they are a group that has their differences from us, and I would not encourage intermarriage but now that this is the case, and you already have two children, generally speaking, if the marriage is sustainable, and it is going along fine, then for the sake of the children, you should think about Jonnie Singh and what not, it's not something that is a matter of Iman and Cofer. However, if you were to find out that your husband belongs to a group that is outside the fold of Islam or if your husband decides to leave Islam or if your husband
you know does an act of rhythm in something like of this nature, that is a separate issue, and that is when we need to think about remaining or not remaining as an act of ritual that because obviously,
it does not allow for a Muslim, to be married to a
to a non Muslim, it is not allowed for a Muslim to be married to a non Muslim. This group is within the fold of Islam. And generally speaking most of the groups that you are aware of most of them, even if they have deviations, they are within
the fold of Islam as I said, Where will you consider a group outside the fold of Islam when they do something or believe in something that is explicitly and clearly contradicting the Kalima itself to believe in another God besides Allah to not worship Allah there are some groups out there they just don't have any Sharia and halal and haram there is no Sharia there is no five Salah there is no fasting of Ramadan, there is no Hajj there is no recitation of the Quran, those groups there is no Islam. And again, these are the minority groups. But by and large, the mainstream groups that we are familiar with that pray five times a day that do will do that fast Ramadan, even if they have
deviations that we disagree with there within the fold of Islam, and therefore the Nika is valid. And it is up to her whether she wishes to remain or not. And generally speaking, now that she has children, my sympathies would be for the family to remain together. And Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best.
The next question that we have over here is a sister is getting
worse WESA or doubts when she's reading the Quran, that she feels that she's not good enough, she feels that she's not doing a good enough job, she feels that she's not reciting it properly. Sometimes she feels that she's not giving the Quran is happy that she's not making the board, etc, etc. And the response
to a certain level, these feelings are very positive. If these feelings impede your act of worship, they become negative, okay, so to feel guilty at not perfecting the recitation of the Quran, to feel guilty that you're not doing a good enough job. That's actually very good. We should all feel an element of guilt. Our Salas I mean, we should all feel guilty that our sugar is not the way it should be that our Punctuality is not the way that it should be that other things are not the way excellent to feel that guilt is a sign of emotion. The moment we don't feel guilty, the moment that we feel that, oh, I am doing this perfectly. That is in fact, an element of arrogance, and that is
dangerous. And we do not want that. So to feel guilty at a certain level is positive. If that guilt increases to the point of She cannot even do her action of worship, to the point of she's not even wanting to do her action of worship to the point of she decides I'd rather not do the Quran than feel this amount of guilt, then realize that this feeling of healthy guilt has been corrupted by Shere Khan. And it has become what we call a West Switzer and a West WESA is a whispering of shaytaan that is meant to invalidate the action of worship. And when this feeling of West wasa gets to the level of impeding an action of worship. That is what we need to cut it short and realize this
as a tactic of shaytaan This is a tactic of Shavonne that he used for our father Adam for worse was Allahumma che upon so to continually doubt and that's why we seek refuge in Allah, men shall read was sua silcon that we seek refuge from the west swathes of the one who steals and throws thoughts into us, right, he is the one who ruins our actions of worship because of the West was that's what this Hannah's does and that is why we have to be careful what you ask to me. In and of itself, it seems as if she is in category one, she is saying, I'm feeling guilty. I'm not concentrating enough as for feeling guilty that you're not concentrating enough that is good, but don't let it stop you
from attempting to concentrate right? Don't let it stop you from trying to do better. As for the feeling of guilt of not reciting the Quran properly. wichtige weed so let me give you good news that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah hirable Quran in my Sephora chili caramel Bharara the one who recites the Quran fluently he is in the company of the noble Angels, and the one who recites the Quran well who are yet at Tarot fee. Well, who are they he shocked the one who stumbles the one who's making how, because differences I can't really see and it's difficult for him, the prophets have said and for that one, he shall get the double reward he shall get the double
reward because he is not fluent. Yet he is struggling and trying he is struggling making a mistake going back reading it again. So he's still attempting that attempt, he shall get a double reward. So do not feel guilty that your tweet is not on par Alhamdulillah you get a double reward but then try your best to learn to tweet try your best to attend classes. This is the ideal time on Hamdulillah you have some extra time now with this lockdown find some teachers online there are a Quran hella because we do it epic as well. I know the sisters have a Quran Halakhah Halaqa as well. So sign up see what you can do improve your marriage weed. And you know what that weed is a very, very, very
simple science. It is the easiest science of Islam
Whatever it is the easiest science of Islam simple rules, see what is the letter, see what is before, see what is after. And then you will find yourself improving within 1020 minutes of learning a rule, you're going to implement it, and then another rule and then another rule, and then you keep on practicing. And you will find that insha Allah Who to Allah, you will improve your touch with very, very easily. So try your best to learn the rules of Tajweed and find a teacher and we have on Epic as well. We have a sisters Yeah, the Halacha of Quran. So do what you can to do that. May Allah subhana wa Taala bless you in that regard. The next question we have
is a psychological one. And it's a bit of an awkward question. And it is awkward because we live in a society where this has become awkward to do and the awkwardness or the question goes, the mother is asking this as a mother, she is asking that her teenage daughter is being influenced by the society around us and by even Muslim us that are teaching moralities and ethics and the issue of modesty and modestly dressing, that their values are very different than what I am trying to instill in my daughter. And she looks at these other women on Snapchat and on Instagram, and they claim to be, you know, preaching Islam, but they are
promoting values and dressing in a manner that this mother feels very distressed about. And she is saying how can I teach my daughter that this is not the ideal image of a Muslim that we should approach. Now, the problem comes, we live in such a hyper sensitive society, that it is very difficult these days for any man to speak about how women should or should not dress, without there being a huge backlash that this is something that you know, is misogynistic, or etc, etc. And it's a very difficult and sensitive topic. And I
am hesitant to go down this route. Because of this. At the same time. We do have a responsibility to all men and women, to all of our youngsters, teenage men and teenage women and boys and girls before that, that we teach them the values of Islam. And by the way, the question is asking you for a mother for her daughter's dear sister, I realized I have sons and daughters, I'm worried for both of them. It's not just the daughters, it's also the sons as well. We are worried that overall, we live at a time where far Asia has become the norm, where even those that are attempting to dress modestly, their versions of modesty are different sometimes than what Islam promotes. And there's
also a gray area that Islam itself allows for some gray areas. So the issue of what type of hijab and the issue of how the fabric is going to be and you know what colors it can be even the shade here it does actually have an area that it is not explicit the Sharia does not say wear black, the Sharia does not say Cover yourself head to toe in a complete book cover each other even though there's nothing wrong with that. So I'm not saying that's wrong, but does the *ty I require it that you wear a black jilbab and a black hijab and just it's not required the way that for example, we find it in of Weinstein or in Serbia that they have the burqa coming straight down from the head.
And it is not even from the shoulders. That is a version. It's nothing wrong with that it is something that does protect the body. But how about a sister wearing a very loose shirt and very loose, very loose pants because again, the problem comes that we cannot even for brothers we cannot have tight. If the brothers were to wear a speedo garment or a tight jeans that is completely describing the hour we would say that is not allowed. So it's a two way street brothers and sisters know the sisters asking that how can we instill high up in our children. And I have to be honest with you there is no easy way to do that will lie it is difficult and I am struggling just as much
as you are I to have children in the society. We're all living in this society together. And we are inundated with images and with movies and with television that is preaching a very different message of morality and sexuality. And we are also to compound that issue. We are also in a timeframe where this is very, very sensitive to speak about and it is very easy to make life difficult for those who say things in a too blunt of a manner. And this is something that is definitely very problematic for all of us and we have to balance between our morality and teaching our morality in a wise manner and our values and making sure that we're allowed to preach our values without getting banned or shut
down. You know by the
In some governments, by the way, in some ways no hamdulillah in America, we have the First Amendment, just not gonna be the government in some lands, in some countries in the world, it is possible for you to face a legal battle, maybe even go to jail for saying things about morality and about gender, and about sexuality that society considers to be, you know, beyond now, so we have to be very careful how we phrase these things and move on. At the same time, no matter what society says we have a responsibility that we have to answer to Allah on the day of judgment. And we have to raise our children in a manner that we have done our job. So what I do advise, first and foremost,
you and your spouse have to embody that morality and that higher and that decency in your own lives, this is the number one mechanism, you have to show what it means to be a Muslim. Number two, the people you associate with should also do that same level of higher and modesty and hijab and Heshmat that you are comfortable with birds of a feather flock together. We said this 20 minutes ago, I'm saying it again now. So your son and daughter needs to see via your own family, friends, by the people you hang around, what does it mean, to live an Islamic life, you have to understand that they will absorb these values in a way that they're going to see it and not just and not just read about
it. Number three, try your best to teach them via your your speech via when they they see something that is inappropriate, or they're watching the movies or TV or whatnot. And obviously, we don't want to open this door that they can watch whatever they want to monitor what they're watching. But when they see something or when something is inappropriate, you comment and you teach them in a wise and gentle manner, not just in a harsh manner because you know, when they become teenagers, and you just say, oh stop for the law, stop for the law. They're gonna make fun of stuff. Even that is the, you know, they will find it funny. And you explain to them Do you know why we don't like this type of
stuff. Speak to them like adults, you know, the time is gone when I was growing up your parents that have suffered a lot you took it as it's tough for a lot these days. As you know, our children they don't even understand and they make fun of our values. Well, the only way to get this across is to treat them like adults like young men and women sit them down explained to them the dangers of a free licensed sexuality, the dangers of nudity, the dangers of just you know what society has become. And I do hope and Charlotte is a goal of mine that one day to give a more academic class that people can benefit from but it is something that requires
some time to prepare and frankly it is better if our sisters were to take this I always recommend sisters to take charge of this because they are they know best how to preach and teach to other sisters and also as you know we live in a gender charged society where if a man says anything about women and women's dress it is interpreted in a manner that should not be because in the end of the day our prophets ism was a man what are you going to do tell the Prophet system that stuff what Allah that he should not have taught women how to dress I mean, but anyway, that is the society that we live in. So I will speak generically and I'll say that
no doubt that we do and all of us who are struggling with this issue, and I can recommend as I said that number one you embody these values yourselves number two, your family and friends number three, talk to them like adults speak to them why this is inappropriate. Don't just frown anticipate and say a stop for Allah and Toba, Toba. Explain to them and if you have to explain and do some research, go ahead and do some research. There's a lot of good books and academic articles even and even YouTube videos out there that explain the dangers of the freelance sexuality that has come and you know, parents, you're gonna have to educate yourselves to educate your own children. And then
you know, definitely in the list of things you should do is lots of dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala to protect your children lots of dua, that Allah subhana wa Tada makes your children righteous and pious. So this is that question, the next question that we have.
The next question that we have, the sister says that I heard in your lecture, that the Prophet system would read three raka Witter after the tahajjud. However, there is a Hadith of Abu Hurayrah, in which Abu Huraira says that the Prophet says I'm told him to read with our Salah before going to sleep, so I am confused. Can you explain what time is the Witr Prayer? Okay. The Witr Prayer, ideally, should be the last prayer of the night before you pray. Fudger so before you pray the Torah kind of fragile before the Adana Fudger ideally, Witter should be the last prayer of the night. So, if you know you're going to wake up and you know that you're going to pray tahajjud or pm will lay
or Tara we're at let's say 3am. After you pray Orisha, you pray the took as soon Orisha, you can pray extra Nefeli
If you want at that time, then go to sleep. Wake up at three or 4am pray your Pm and your tahajjud pray your Tarawih prayer, your ATRA cow or 20 guys manage as much as you want. And then when you finish you pray your Witter salah. However, if you know that you're not going to wake up in the middle of the night, you're not going to wake up in the last night, you're going to sleep the entire night until Fajr, which is the default of the most of the Muslim world. In this case, you should pray with her before you go to sleep because it will be the last prayer that you have done. And this is what Abreva said that at that time when he said this, he wasn't praying to hedgebrook Inshallah,
later later on in his life, we learned that he did but at that time, he wasn't praying to Him. And so he said that I would pray with her before going to sleep. So when you're gonna go to sleep at 11pm, let's say before you go to sleep, the ideal time to pray with it as as late as possible. You may pray Witter, right after Salah tell Orisha Witr Prayer is very very very strongly encouraged and for the Hanafis it is wajib and YG means if you don't do it, you are sinful for the other three mazahub It is one degree under than wajib. ie it is the strongest sunnah. But it is not quite the level of wajib and the famous statement of Imam Muhammad in the humble that he said that the one who
leaves Witter is an evil man with rajulio su I don't think anybody other than an evil man can be with it. Still, he did not consider it to be farther because in the humble, he might have farther and wider but at the same, but the point is all of the med hubs they were very very, very strongly encouraging with it. And the Hanafi madhhab said it is not just strongly encouraged, it is wajib. So that says that you are sinful if you do not do it. So when do you do with it, you do it at any time from after Orisha after the soon enough arratia Up until the event of budget. And the ideal time is after the urothelium in the last third of the night. But if you're not going to wake up, then you
pray with it before you go to sleep. And that is, as I said, a permissible time for winter. So I hope that answers the question that witted can be prayed any time without any karahi. There's no mcru time to pray with a from Asia up until the Ananda Fajr you may prayed at any time. The only thing is you should try to pray with her at the very end of your Judo Korea emulator whenever that might be analyzer which it knows best. So the next question, we have only two questions left in Charlotte, and we are done for today. The next question that we have is that a sister is saying that she adopted her husband's surname after marriage. And then later on, she found out or she was told
that it is not allowed to change your surname and that it is haram. What should she do about this? So realize that this is a question that a lot of modern people talk about. And I think they missed the mark they don't understand or they are Miss applying Islamic issues. Firstly, just to get this off the table, I don't think you should change your last name, it should remain the same. There's no reason to change your last name. When you get married. Actually, this is a western tradition and custom. And if you know where it goes back to the no woman would ever want to do it. Because in medieval Europe, when a woman married, she became the property of her husband. And that is why she
would change her father's name and take over her husband's last name. And that's not something in Islam, you are always the daughter of your father doesn't matter. Secondly, however, the main point though, there is a verse in the Quran, the only a more alpha software in the law call them by their forefathers. And a lot of people use this verse to say that it is haram to change the last name. And my position or my point is that the last name in modern societies is not the name of the Father. What Allah is talking about. So Fatima Binti, Muhammad, Allah is saying, don't change that Binti Mohamed and change it to something else. No call them by their forefathers. So that is what the
verse is talking about. Now, in our times. Most Pakistanis have a last name, Indians, Pakistanis, I mean, our culture, they have a last name and I'll explain why I'm saying the items are different in this regard, that really does not have a tribal basis to it. Some out of some not all to this day, they belong to a tribe. And that is their last name. So they say how to be or Elmo piety, right, or a Tamimi? That's a tribe name. It's a name of millions of people around the world who belong to the same tribe. In our culture, the last name is severely the last name is far Rocky. And in reality, it is just a generic last name that does not have a Kabila all of the severe cases of our culture are
not related to one another in all of the fall rotator the Zubaydah is not related to just like a name that is there. So this last name, it is not what Allah is talking about in the Quran, when he says call them by their father.
as it is just a generic last name. And in fact, for most of us, every few generations, our last name actually changes, right? For whatever reason, one person in the chain, whatever is just decides to cut off one name and put another name there. And this is the reality, if you even look at your extended family, people have different last names, even though they belong to the same family. So my point is, it is not good to change your name, keep your name the way that it is, you don't need to change it when you get married. At the same time, don't apply this verse in the Quran to the last name that is my point. Don't apply that verse in the Quran to the last name, because that is a
separate issue altogether.
And if your name has legally been changed from your last name before marriage to last name of your husband, if has been legally changed, there is no nice reason or need to change it back legally to spend money and go to court to do that. But everybody knows you are the daughter of your father. Nobody is calling you the daughter of somebody else. That's what the Quran talks about. When Allah says that is a sin to do otherwise. It is no reason to change your name and ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada knows best.
Other question that we have here is that sister is saying that when we finish the Salah, should we say 33 times Subhanallah And Alhamdulillah and Allahu Akbar? Or should the Allahu Akbar be 34 times and the other 233 response.
Both things have been narrated from the Sunnah, and you may do this or that whatever you want to do is fine. It's and this shows us that there is a variety in these actions of worship. So sometimes, in some versions of the Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, say subhanallah 33 times Alhamdulillah 33 times Allahu Akbar 33 times and then so that's 99 and then for the 100, c'est la ilaha illallah wa Hola, Shikara shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa Julio share the color the whole color, do while equation for them. So that is one version of the Hadith. And that's good. In another version, the prophet system said 33 times SubhanAllah 33 times at Hamdulillah. I'm 34 times Allahu
Akbar, and that is also permissible. So both of these are permissible to do but the first one is the one that is narrated more times, and that is the one I would encourage you to do that after every Salah 33 times SubhanAllah 33 times and hamdulillah and 33 times Allahu Akbar, and then for the 100 times say a shadow Allah ilaha illallah wa the hula Sharika the Hunnewell color hamdulillah who Allah Felicia in Claudia. Okay. Second to last question. Very quick, two questions here. Second to last question. The sister says that my husband is not religious. And this creates a lot of issues and tensions in the family when I try to bring my children closer to Islam. What is your advice? So
firstly, for those of you that are not married, listen to this question. And go back to my point half an hour ago, when I said birds of a feather flock together, when I said people should marry based upon their same religious values. Here is the classic problem of getting married to somebody, not even from a different sect, from a person whose level of religiosity is different, right. Religion permeates through our day and night. And it is very important that couples are on a similar wavelength. Now, problem comes and let's be honest here, when people get married, as I explained, usually, and I'm just telling it like it is I'm not endorsing. Usually, the average Muslim couple is
not that religious, they're struggling to pray five times a day, they're not even doing much extra. But then over 510 years, generally speaking, one of the two rediscovers Islam one of the two, you know, it's very common for women to do it's also very common for men to do it. There's no I don't even know statistics have been done. But it's very common that one of the two becomes much more religious. And the other one is what happened to you? Why are you praying five times a day have you become crazy? Have you become one of those boilers, nut jobs and start making fun of religion? And it's a very serious problem because now you've been married 1015 years, you have mashallah a family,
you know, you have a society, you have the family, friends, you have everything established. And now the bickering begins about religious values. And what makes it worse, as the sister is saying is that her husband is putting religion or religious values down. Her husband is very irritated that she's become so religious and now wants the children to be religious. My dear sister, there is no easy answer to your conundrum, there is no easy solution to the problem you are facing. And the problem that that many, many, many, many Muslim couples around the globe are facing if it's the husband and the wife now he wants to become more religious and she's like, You married me like this.
Now you're telling me to work your job. Now you're telling me I can't do this. Now. You want me to wake up Fajr and you know, she's now heart fighting back or vice versa. Like, why are you wearing that two parter? Why are you wearing the hijab? I mean, I'm embarrassed when you religious in this way. And so it's to waste
Read here. And again, dear sister, your question is more psychological than it is 50 wise, how do you best influence somebody? There is no right and wrong answer. Rather, you know best, what is the best way to influence your husband and husbands know best, what is the best way to influence their wives. And sometimes that influence is not even going to be through you is going to be through other people go create a bond of you know, find a new couple of friend find a sister who has whose husband is somebody your husband likes, and is also religious, so that now you go to their house and have that use as an influence. Find a scholar that your husband likes to listen to, and just try to do
something together. Try to work within your husband's and because again, the problem comes in, I'm being very honest, you're being I'm speaking to you, as a man, and that is that unfortunately, a lot of men have very big egos. And when their wives want to do something in a positive manner their egos are getting getting will say I'm not going to listen to you. That's just a reality. And I'm just telling it like it is.
And by the way, the opposite is also true sometimes that women have also sometimes egos in their husbands when they say something or listen to them. Sometimes the spouse is not the best person to give that word to the other spouse. And so what you need to do is use soft pressure from other sources, scholars that he listens to massages that he likes to go to family friends that can influence him, and then make lots and lots of dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala and try your best to use soft pressure any entice and not be harsh. You know, say you want to do something together. Let's pray Fudger together let's go to the masjid together try well these days you can even come to
the machine but you get my point something that will be a pressure in a positive way not a negative Don't be berating Don't be rebuking, how come you don't that's not going to typically work between spouses rather use a love pressure, the pressure of being soft and generous and coaching on roots rather than being harsh about why not encourage and say let's try this and work within. And other than this dear sister, honestly, there's not much that can be said soft pressure, lots of dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala and then just Janee keep on keep on persisting the way that you can. This is a very difficult situation. And it is a common one it is all too common. And also you need to have
frank conversations with your husband about the level of religiosity expected in the children. And again, there is no one there's no cookie cutter answer to you. There's no easy answer to give you I don't know what to tell you. If he refuses to have his children be religious. He doesn't want them to memorize the Quran. You want them to memorize the Quran? How do you reach a happy compromise? There is no one answer here there is no one answer it all depends on the relationship the two of you have and which one has given taken. I don't know what to tell you try your best to work with soft pressure make dua to Allah and then bring in family and friends to try to resolve in a positive
manner as well and may Allah azza wa jal make your affairs easy for you. The final question that I have for today is what is my advice on the sisters erotica? So
out of the four schools of law, the Hanafi, humbly Shafi and Maliki only the Hanafi is allow aitikaf in houses for the women. The other three med hubs do not allow erotica in places other than massage it and
Allah azza wa jal says in the Quran, what chakra Wanda want to mark if Hoonah field massage
and do not come close to your spouse's when you are doing a takeoff in the massage. And that is why the other three might have said there is no concept of erotica if in the house. And I must say that that is the position that I follow as well. There is no erotica in the house. Now that is my opinion, the Hanafi our 100 V brethren will disagree and they have every right to disagree and you know my position about the med hubs we respect. And we respectfully agree and disagree. And so if you ask me, my position is that there is no air ticket in the house, if you ask any respected Hanafy they want the item they will say that it is allowed to do air ticket inside the house, and they will
give you the conditions and the rulings for that. Nonetheless, even if I tell you there is no air ticket in the house, and this the position of the majority of scholars, still that does not mean that you cannot do extra worship in your house, you cannot have a corner and a time and a place where you go into a bubble and everybody knows you are now not to be disturbed and you tell your husband, your children that from this time to this time. I want to just worship Allah and they all that hamdulillah give you the time and space. Why not? That's I wouldn't call it to take off me personally that's not my position. I will say this is your time of worship of Allah. Why can't you
do that? So
you asked me and I said there is no autograph in the house. There is no concept of you take off inside the house none of the wives of the process of everyday
it'll take up inside the house. Even they will do everything up privately in the masjid they will have corners of the restaurant and they will do it over there. And there is no conservative autograph. However, that does not negate the fact you can assign a time and a place that you feel logistically not for any act of worship religious Stickley, let's just say you know from 4pm to 5pm everybody knows I'm reading Quran in this corner, nobody should disturb me, Okay, fine. Make that a rule and it's a logistic rule that everybody knows it's just convenient for you to do that. And that would be something great that you should do in this Ramadan and in fact throughout the year if
possible. And with that, I've come to the conclusion of our epic sisters questions if there any other questions inshallah I am here for you an email, the sisters email that you should all have, and inshallah we'll try to have another q&a as well in Sharla sometime in the month of Ramadan. I pray that Allah subhana wa Taala makes this Ramadan our best Ramadan I pray that Allah subhana wa Taala gives us the spirit and the courage to worship Allah, the most perfect worship we've ever done. And this month of Ramadan, I prayed that we finished this Ramadan, having forgiven all of our sins. I pray that Allah protects me and you and my loved ones and your loved ones throughout this
virus and pandemic and I pray that Allah subhanaw taala lifts this from us as soon as possible to Xochimilco Santa Monica.
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