Ramadan 2022 – The Manners of The Believers #12 – Thinking the Best of Others (usn al-Dhann)

Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

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Episode Notes

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Of the characteristics of the believer (Part 12 of our series) is that the default is to think the best of people, and to interpret ambiguous phrases and unclear incidents in the most positive manner.A pure heart leads to pure thoughts of others, while a heart full of suspicion leads to suspicious thoughts of others. The Prophet (SAW) said, “I warn you against being suspicious of others, because suspicion is the most lying of matters…” [al-Bukhari]. Having ḥusn al-dhann and always interpreting ambiguous phrases in the best of ways would completely demolish the toxic refutation culture that social media is saturated with. Even if others aren’t living up to those standards, remember that we have to answer to Allah, and we should not get involved in the rampant climate of ‘name and shame’ and ‘cancelling’ because of an ambiguous issue. The believer is more worried about his own deficiencies rather than obsessing over the alleged faults of others.

Episode Transcript

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filthy

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filthy who will be found Ed? Lay Senator filthy who below the here makadi or Canada is

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so that was salam ala Rasulillah who are the early he also behave woman welcome about today inshallah we'll continue from where we left off yesterday yesterday we did personal one in Allah having the best thoughts of Allah which leads to optimism. Today we'll move on to personal one and other people having the best thoughts about other people of the o'clock have the characteristics of the movement is that the movement interprets ambiguous phrases in a positive manner. You know, in our interactions throughout our day and night throughout our talking with people, emailing people interacting with people, phrases are going to be said incidents are going to occur. And we don't

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know was it meant to be a sarcastic comment? Was it meant to put us down was it meant to make fun of us or it's something innocent? The Shetty eye tells us that we try our best to find a way out in a positive manner. We think the best thoughts of other people, we don't have evil thoughts who have been we have personally been and we always interpret and ambiguous phrase in the most positive of light in the most innocent of light. We don't read in evil intentions. We don't read in negative assumptions. On the contrary, the believers interact with one another with pure hearts and they read in the best ALLAH SubhanA wits Allah says in the Quran surah Girard Oh you who believe eg attorney

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boo Cathy ramen Avani in Nevada Vani ism, avoid most of suspicion, because some of it is actually sinful. One is your assumption of one is one you assume and it's not clear. It's an ambiguous thing and you made an assumption. Allah said, avoid the majority of assumption we'll get to the exceptions. Those are the exceptions. The default we avoid assumption why? Because sometimes assumptions are actually sinful. You will be discredited in the eyes of Allah, you will be potentially punished. Your actions will do something that will bring about Allah's punishment because you had an evil assumption. And our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it it isn't

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Behati Iyar come woven. I warn you against some assumptions don't assume a Yakumo one. Because for enough one acceptable Hadith, the most lying of all speech is your own assumptions when you assume and it wasn't intended that way. And then he went on and he said, and don't spy on one another and don't backbite and don't backstab and don't hate one another rather all of you who knew a bad Allah He Hawaiiana all of you be brethren for the sake of Allah, this beautiful Hadith it begins with don't assume things why? Because all breaking of bonds begins with an evil assumption. That's how it all begins. So the Prophet system ends the Hadith all of you be brethren. And the beginning of it is

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don't assume things And subhanAllah in the incident of Isha the slander of Isha when some of them went on said what they said, Allah subhana wa Tada criticize them in the Quran. And Allah says, well, Lola, it sent me to mu one, me noona well moved me now to be unfortunate him Hira? Why didn't you think the best thoughts when you heard this slander? Why did your mind have to go to the worst? Why didn't you think the best thoughts this is in the Quran. And this is a reminder for all of us. So what is some practical advice that we can do to avoid evil thoughts to avoid having these assumptions of our brethren? Number one, we begin with the most important and that is stop caring

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what other people are saying in the first place. The fact of the matter is much of this goes back to our own ego and our own sensitivities. If we conquer our own ego, if we have a thicker skin, and we don't read in every single time, we are not the center of attention of somebody says something in a generic gathering. Don't just think oh, he meant to me the very fact you're thinking this Friday.

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likely assumptions, say more about your own heart than it does about the hearts of others. I know this is a blunt statement, but it is a factual statement. When you assume in reality, you are certainly showing what you believe. And you are not so certain about what the other person believes. So assumptions say more about you than they do about the other person. And that's why our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the one who says everybody is destroyed, he assumes everybody is evil, the Prophet SAW, they said, He is the most evil of them. And he is the one who destroys them. When you assume everybody's evil, when you assume everybody's destroyed, then in reality, your ego

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is so much you are the worst amongst them. So stop reading in and stop thinking you're the center of attention in any phrase was about you. And anything that was said was intended about you, we have to do develop a thicker skin here and just not care that much. Our profits are some set of the perfection of one's Eman is you don't get involved with that, which is not of your business. So this is point number one. Point number two, if it is something you really must, you know, get involved with. If it is something that really is bothering you, then find an explanation that has a way out, have some personal vision and think of an excuse, think maybe he meant this and then let that

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thought go away. So you create a personal one, you create an excuse for your brother. And we see this in a beautiful it also Sahih Bukhari that a man came to the Prophet saw some and said, O Messenger of Allah, my wife gave birth to a child of a different skin color than me. You see the assumption here, right? So the Prophet says he wanted to get rid of this. There's no other doubt. It's just in his mind. There's no evidence, it's just in his mind something is wrong. So the prophets have said Do you own camels? He said, Yes. What is the color of those camels reddish brown? Is there any camel that is a different color? Yes, there is one that is white, you know, the white

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Tisch camel. So the Profit System is that how did that white camel ended up amongst all of these? How did that camel come when all of the ancestors are reddish brown. So the man said perhaps one of the ancestors had, you know, perhaps it was some any we will say DNA, but he said, a blood vessel, perhaps one of the ancestors, this child is showing that so the Prophet systems had so as well, perhaps your child is going back to one of those ancestors as well just get rid of it, find an excuse and get rid of this doubt. This is stage number two, it's not been one of the scholars of the past visual halfway. He said, If you cannot invent an excuse for your brother, then say to yourself,

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maybe he has an excuse that my imagination cannot find is something in his life. I don't know. But still say there's an excuse. So this is point number two, create an excuse. Point number three, suppose the doubt is still there, and it's snowing inside of you. Well, then data booth verify confirm, don't just base something on allegations on rumors on hearsay. If somebody comes to you and says something or you know what somebody said, firstly, we have said many times this should not be done, Riba and Amina should not be done. Even if something happened in a gathering. Nobody should go and tell other people about that gathering. Suppose somebody does come do not make an assumption

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simply by hearsay. Allah says in the Quran, Oh, you who believe when a foster when an evil person comes to you with any news, verify that news. Anyone who tattle Tales is not a trustworthy person, right there, he's shown that he's an evil person. So when somebody comes in, says, hey, you know what I was in a gathering. And that person said this about you verify, if you must point number three, verify, to third bullet point number four, if the thought is still not going away, and it might affect your relationship, well, then, before you do anything, you must in a very gentle manner, bring it up directly in front of him and ask him an explanation directly. If your mind

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cannot think of one, if you cannot have any alternative other than to confront the brother or sister, well, then that is what must be done. This is the Islamic mannerisms. If you must deal with a person and something happened that you cannot find an explanation for, and it's going to harm that relationship. Well then, rather than assume, rather than base and destroy a relationship, confront in a gentle manner, okay, it has, somebody has said that this occurred, I want to understand that this actually happened and maybe I misunderstood or what is the reason you have to bring it up directly. And we learned this from the Sierra as well, how many times did something happen and the

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Prophet system being the leader, he has to verify he never made a judgment without bringing the person and asking that person and in the most famous incident, of how to, you know, long story, but how to basically gave the coordinates of the attack on the conquest of Makkah. He sent a letter to the Quraysh. He said, The prophecies will be attacking from this direction. This is the betrayal of the highest magnitude. They discovered the letter it's signed how to and the Profit System. Somebody wants to execute it. So no, bring him here. I need to talk to him. He called him he said How to it

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Is this letter true? What happened verify and how to set yeah rasool Allah I have no desire to commit Cofer after my Iman, he has it when he said, I knew Allah would protect you divinely. But my wife and children are in Makkah, and all of your wives and children's are here. So I thought with this letter, at least my wife and child will be safe, otherwise they execute our new Allah will protect you now, long story he had in his own mind. When he wasn't wanting to betray he knew Allah would protect, he thought he could protect his family that way. So the Prophet system said how to be speaking the truth. And he didn't allow anybody to harm how to point is something as blatant as

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treason and the prophets have said Bring him here verify spoke to him directly. And guess what an excuse was given that was found to be acceptable, how thieves heart was not with the courage, but he felt a weakness my wife and children going to be executed he thought this could protect them. So he was forgiven, because of that. My point is when you hear something that cannot, you know, find any way out even then do not pass judgment come and explain, have the person explain and even if the explanation is given, and it is something that is not fully defensible, but the person apologizes Khabib and Modic. The incident Kaboo demonic did not have a valid excuse. And cab said he had rasool

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Allah in the incident have to walk again, all of these are incidents from the Sierra. He said, Yeah, Rasulullah I actually don't have an excuse, but I'm sorry. Subhanallah that phrase that I'm sorry, I did what I did, I shouldn't have done this. Eventually Allah accepted the Toba. So we also have to be forgiving. Sometimes our brothers make mistakes, like we make mistakes as well. And then finally, when all is said and done, even if one negative was marked against your brother, even if something happened, that shouldn't have happened, he said something he shouldn't have said steal our [???]ty I says we look at the broader picture. And we see the good in light of the bad we don't judge an

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entire relationship based upon one incident. That's not fair. We all make mistakes. And if the brothers repented, if their brother says sorry and wants to make up and this is beautifully proven in the incident against Sahih Bukhari where a drunkard was brought to the Prophet Sall Allahu Allah, he was selling them constantly he was brought one time two times four times he was brought and he was being punished in front of the Sahaba and one of them said Lana to Allah He I like Don't you have any shame how many times you have to be brought to the front of the Profit System The Profit System turned to that person who said that little boy and said Don't say that don't help shape on

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against your brother for wala he I only know of this brother that he loves Allah and His Messenger Subhanallah a drunkard but he has good deeds as well. He was praying regularly giving Sana fasting and he has a private sin and that sin got him into trouble. Don't make it worse. He's being punished. He is offered as excused. Allah azza wa jal is gonna forgive. You don't have to say Allah has landed on you the prophesy ism way the good and the bad. He said, Yes, he is drinking, that's a bad thing. But I also know that he has good deeds as well. This is a man who has shown he loves Allah and His messenger. This is the Islamic way brothers and sisters, none of us is perfect. And

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sometimes sometimes a good friend or colleague or relative says something or does something that is ambiguous and has the potential to hurt our feelings. Before we break the friendship before we break those bonds. Follow these steps. If you can ignore it fine. If you can find a massage has not been the best thing. Get it out of your mind. Don't think about it. Verify before you do anything, if you must, if you must, then at least confront their brother politely figure out what's going on. And if even he did, and it was something wrong, even then, if he asked forgiveness, then forgive the final point. Yes, we have personally been but we are not fools. And sometimes people do want to harm us.

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And for those people when it is clear and obvious that somebody is treacherous or deceitful. Well, then I will prophesy said that the believer is not stung from the same hole twice. So yes, we don't have personal one all the time, when it is clear that somebody is evil and somebody wants to harm. That's why Allah says avoid much of suspicion. Allah does not say avoid all suspicion. Sometimes when the evidences are clear that an enemy of Islam wants to do something in that case, there is no there's no one and so we act upon our caution. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us that wisdom and Sharla will continue tomorrow.

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