Is It permissible to take part in Auctions done by a Bank Q&A

Yasir Qadhi

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Well I

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saw the how

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many Mina most named me.

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I said I wanted to kumara Missoula here. wabarakatuh who had hamdu Lillahi wa Salatu was Salam ALA, Nabi Javad Ahmedabad we're continuing after our hiatus for a few weeks our regular programs and inshallah today we will have our q&a as usual and today I begin my q&a with a question from SR zeyneb from Mumbai, India, masha Allah Tabata, Allah, may Allah help your situation over there in that land, she emails and she says that sometimes she participates in auctions that are done by lenders, and sometimes banks, when they take possession of the object when the lenders are not able to pay off the loan. So the auction is then done, let's say for a car, maybe a house, maybe a piece

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of land. And so she's asking, Is it permissible to participate in such auctions? Now, this question is actually composed of two separate questions. So let's start with the second one first, which is the auction and then the first one will be banks doing auctions, which is slightly different than the concept as we will see. So the concept of auctions having an auction. And of course, an auction is a mechanism of selling something where different buyers come together and they bid on the same item publicly, everybody knows there's a auction going on, or you know, a group of people can know there's an auction going on. And so, the point is, you know, that the price is going to be not set,

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it is going to be given to the highest bidder, and the auction will then be sold or whatever the item is going to be given to the highest bidder. This concept in Arabic is called one of the terms for it is Bayer as Mazaya. The the sale in which people are bidding against one another higher bids, mosaic data from zyada. And you're bidding against one another. And the vast majority of scholars of our tradition of all of the legal schools this is the default position of the MME is that with minor differences of the conditions, but the default is that it is allowed, it is halal, that the concept of auctioning something off and then selling the item to the highest bidder. It is something that

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the default position of the OMA the majority of the Ummah says it is allowed the dissenting voices are small and we can ignore them. And the evidence is for this are many of them is that it is authentically narrated in a very, very interesting and beautiful Hadith that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam himself auctioneering of items he himself took charge, and he auctioned off items and the hadith is reported in Sunon acted MIDI and a symptomatic says that there was a man from the unsought who came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam begging for some money. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Don't you have anything in your house? He said that yes I do. Or

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messenger of Allah. I have a thin carpet if you like that tight use put on my floor or rug okay and I have a

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an ornament had an ornament, a mug that I can drink from Okay, so I have this in my house I have a carpet I have a rug, you know a thin rug that is there and I also have you know utensil that I purchased and I use it for my drinks. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Bring me these two items. So the man brought these two items. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam picked up these items and said, Who shall buy these two items from me? So a man in the audience said, I shall buy it for one did hum. So the Profit System said Will anybody buy for more than a did home and he continued to ask who will buy for more than I did at home. Then another man stood up and said I

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shall buy this for to their homes. So the Prophet system gave him these items for two Durham's. Then he turned to the unsavoury and he said that go and purchase with one of these did hums food for your family and with the other dyrham go purchase an axe and bring it back to me. So he went and he bought food for his family and with the other day Rami purchased an axe you know to chop wood, and then the Prophet salallahu it he was selling when he brought him back the axe the profits and put it in his hand. He puts it in his hand and he said go and chop wood and sell wood and I don't want to see you for 15 days. You keep on selling wood. Keep on buying and cutting wood and

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Linkwood so the man came back after 15 days, and he had owned now 10 Dill homes. And some of these did homes he had used to buy clothes. Some of these used to buy food for his family. So he explained to the prophets of Allah, why do you sell them that in these last 15 days, he earned 10 Durham's from chopping wood and selling it. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, for you to do this, go and earn your money, it is better for you, then you go and you beg people that will be a mark of shame on your face on the Day of Judgment, it is not allowed to beg, except in three situations. And this is the famous Hadith, you are not allowed to beg, asking for money except in

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three situations. Number one is an extreme poverty that you cannot get out of. Number two is that you have a debt that is forcing you to basically bankruptcy, you are completely out of money, and you're owning lots of people in debt. In this case, you can call people and say I need money, you can beg for money. And number three is that when you are taking part in what is called the blood feud, ie you're settling the debt when a tribe has a member of a tribe has killed another tribe, and they're going to go to war, something's going to happen. And a man stands up and says I will take care of the blood money. That's a lot of money. So when you are trying to bring reconciliation

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between two people, then you will you will need help from other people, then you will stand up and say, Dear brothers, you know, I'm bringing soda between these two tribes, I need money for this. So this is a Hadith the process allowed begging publicly in three situations. And I should say not begging, necessarily, but asking for money. So you're allowed to stand up and ask for money publicly and three situations. Number one, when poverty is extreme, and it is beyond your control, obviously, what are you going to do May Allah protect all of us that people genuinely are that number two, that the debt has overcome your when you're going to declare bankruptcy. And number three, when you are

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bringing solar between people, the point being all of this tangent because there's a beautiful Hadith. And I want to do to all know, this hadith, all of this tangent because what the prophets have said and picked up these two items, and he made an auction who's gonna buy this one Dirham, who's going to go more, who's going to go more who's going to go more than he said to their homes, then he gave it to him for to their homes, the Imam Al Cassani, the famous Hanafi jurist, he comments on this, he says, the fact that the prophets ism did this shows that it is permissible because he would never do something that is mcru. So the fact that he did it himself, it shows that

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it is permissible. And Emanuel Cassani said, this type of transaction has been commonly done throughout the lands throughout all of our centuries, and it is well known. And you know, nobody has really stopped it. It is the part and parcel of how people do business transactions and quote, and we also have another tradition inside Buhari that a man passed away, and he had a lot of debt, and in his will, and in his will, he had said that I have a slave who is going to be freed. However, he had debt, you had to pay it off. And so when you have dead this takes priority. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the children came, they said, We don't have money to pay the debt off.

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So the Profit System, himself, he said, Men yesterday had that who's going to purchase this out, and so a person stood up and purchased the job. With that money, he then paid off the debt. Imam Al Behati, quoted this hadith under the title, the chapter of the oil Messiah, the chapter of auctioning, the chapter auctioning, and even 100 comments. The fact that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Who shall purchase this act indicates he was offering to the highest bidder, so that the maximum amount of money can be given to the bankruptcy to the debtors to those that are, do money. And so this concept of selling for the highest price, it is well known, it is established

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in the Sunnah, the famous Dabiri event, Rabbi said that the people that I saw in my lifetime growing up and he grew up in the generation after the Companions, he said, the people around me I saw all of them doing this type of transaction. And they didn't consider this to be problematic. And this is a report also. And so I helped body therefore, the vast majority of scholars of pretty much all of the Medina and you can say they're small groups of tab your own and others early scholars, they said it's not allowed and the reasoning was also an innocent and good one. They said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam forbade in raw authentic hadith, that you bid against the bid of your

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brother and this is an authentic hadith. However, the prohibition of bidding against the bid of your brother it is easily understood that you do not bid against the bid of your brother once the bid of your brother has been accepted and there is an agreement and there is an understanding and before the transaction has occurred. So simple example, the Hadith applies in non auction type of scenario. So for example, you say to your friend that I have a car for sale, do you want to buy it? And he says yes, and so you agree to a price he goes, I'll buy it for $5,000 Okay, is it call us next week? You know, we'll transfer I just need the car

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For a few days, we'll transfer. So we have agreed, and everybody knows, now another person hears and he goes, Oh, 5000, I'll pay it, I'll pay six to you. And so he's gonna go into fear after the agreement has been done. This was not an auction. This was an agreement, an offer was made, the offer was accepted. But the keys haven't been done. Now a third party comes and says, Oh, I will pay six. What do you think is going to happen? People are going to be hurt feelings are going to be hurt, it will bring awkwardness. Why did you do that? Let it be called loss, it was lost. Now, don't get involved once the agreement has been made. So there is a Hadith do not bid against the bid of

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your brother, this hadith is not applicable to the auction. And we know this because the process of himself did auctions. The point is when you're in an auction environment, everybody knows the point of that environment is to bid against each other. So the problem that will come when an agreement has been made, and then you come and you say, I'm going to bid against you, there's going to bring problems in Ohio, Islamic brothers are going to be hurt. And that's why it has not been allowed once there has been a verbal agreement. However, in an open auction, where everybody knows they're coming to the table for an auction, there is no ill will in this regard. And therefore it is completely

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permissible. And just FYI, the mathematical istemi, the Council of Islamic jurists, which is the largest Council global Council in the world, and it is one that I generally when it comes to especially finance issues, I generally like to follow this council so that I can say, hey, you know, they're the ones that said this is not me in their annual meeting in 1993. In Brunei Darussalam. They issued their fatwa their decree, in which by unanimous consensus, they allowed auctions to take place with some basic conditions such as the item is known. And the people know that it is an auction, meaning that it's not two people who have agreed and then you come in outbid them no

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hitter, the context is there, or it is explicitly announced that this is an auction, and also of the conditions. By the way, this is an important condition, that there should not be a fake plant amongst the crowd that is meant to increase the prices because what happens sometimes there's deceit and the one who's selling the item will plant a friend or a paid person to always edge up the price when reasonable, or when he thinks that he's going to get more for it, so that the price can be jacked up. And this is something that is not allowed. Also, the fatwa has said, the field Council has said that even if the auction is closed to a limited group of people, or you have to pay to be a

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member to be in this auction, no problem. They're reasonable fees as long as there's no gambling because you're opening an option, it's not a gamble that you know, you you pay money and then randomly one person is chosen as gambling. But if you pay to be a member of a certain club, or you pay to be within an auctioneering group, and to be a member of that group, in and of itself, this is permissible because you're paying for a membership. Once you're a member, now you can auction for an item and purchase it, no problem. So all of this is permissible. Inshallah that was a lengthy answer. So then shall I never have to go back to the question of auctions per se. That having been

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said our sister from Mumbai says she typically goes to the auctions of banks, and this is where we go to another issue then. Okay, so Auctions is one thing, and Auctions is halal, overall, the second part purchasing from a bank, an item that the bank has confiscated, because of the default of the loan, because the bank has given a loan to the lender, the lender has paid back a certain amount, and then the lender has been unable to pay. And so obviously, the bank confiscates everything back and then sells the item, and then takes the money. Now, overall, from speaking generically from an Islamic perspective, obviously, what the bank is doing is how wrong there is no question about this.

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Any person who lends money, if the lender defaults on the loan without an excuse, okay, you have the right to take him to court, you have the right for the court to force him by selling certain items, even if it is the item that he purchased to give you your full money back. However, you do not have the right to take more than your money. And so what the bank does is a type of injustice with that is explicitly haram, because it is the height of injustice, to get a large portion from of the loan from the lender and then take even more by selling the item. Let me give you the standard example here in America, that a person

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takes the loan for a house, okay. And let's just be simplistic and say the house is $100,000. So for 10 years, the man is paying, paying paying and he pays back let's say $60,000. After 10 years, he loses his job and for three months he cannot pay the loan. So for three months if he is defaulting on the loan, the bank will repossess the house. Okay. All

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All of the 60,000 that the man has given goes to waste, the bank will then sell the house typically for more than 100,000, because the price will have gone up. So even let's just say 100,000 in the bank sells it even let's just say which is not the case, typically, the bank will make a profit doesn't matter, profit or not. The point is, the bank will get, let's say, 100,000 from selling, the bank already has taken 60,000 from the lender. So the bank has a grand total of $160,000. And the lender goes away with nothing. 10 years of paying back literally flushes down the toilet and goes to waste just because the poor man lost a job, he couldn't pay for three months, what the what, what a

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height of injustice here, right? How much lunamon That's why the Sharia does not allow interest loans, it is the height of injustice, it is a type of volume, even if the person agrees for it, it is not something that is allowed. Now for the bank to do this with the lender is not allowed for you to give a loan, and then take back more than the loan. And by the way, if you were to give a loan, the man purchases something, he cannot pay it back, you sell the item, you take the default. So in this case, you would take 60,000 that he has paid you for the house, then you would take 40,000 from the house. And if there were fees involved by going to the court, you may take the cost of the fee

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so that you don't have to pay the lawyers, fees and whatnot. But you cannot pocket a dime more than the 100,000 that you gave the person it's alone is not a business in Islam, loans and businesses are two separate transactions, you do not become rich via loans. Loans are not a business mechanism. This is the fundamental difference between Western capitalism between the economic system of John Smith and Western capitalism versus the Islamic Sharia, we do not make a business of giving loans loans is an act of charity, an act of compassion, an act of kindness, you give a loan because somebody is in a difficult situation, and he must pay the amount back. Exactly. And if he wants to

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gift you without any agreement that he is going to give more that is sooner. So it is sooner to give 100,000 and then some gift or something that you know, just take this because JazakAllah not put in the contract. The point being It is haram for a lender or a bank to take more and to then confiscate and then sell and take all of this, however, and this is where we get complicated. So I hope you're paying attention after all of this right? This is a multi layered question. I'm deconstructing it. So we understand how we approach this issue. auctions are halal

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banks, repossessing houses and taking the entire amount of the loan plus the amount of the house is haram. Okay, now, put the two together. You have something the bank has done as haram, you have something that bank is going to do that that's halal, which is auctioning, okay, can you as a third party, you're not the lender. And you're not the lender. You didn't get the money. You didn't take the money. You are simply wanting to buy a house. And you like this house you find who owns it, oh, the bank owns it because the bank repossessed it because the person defaulted on his loan. So you're buying the house and you have a clean and you simple transaction. Let's not get into the issue of

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mortgages, right now that I gave a whole longer question about that. And you can listen to that q&a that I've done as well. Let's just say you have 100,000 and you want to purchase it clean from the bank, one transaction you give the money. Even if it's a you know, an auction, can you purchase the house that was acquired via haram through a Halal means? In other words, we can we can

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rephrase the question. And that is that this is a really weird way to phrase it does the Listen to me now does the Haram nests of the house remain and persist after the bank acquires it such that it is haram for you as well to buy or the Haram sin is on the bank. And now it is highlighted for you to come in and then purchase from the bank via an auction. See, this is where it gets a little bit complicated. And of course, you're going to have you know a number of voices here. I'll just be very simplistic for the purpose of this q&a And say that there is a much deeper discussion here. And there are many scenarios and expectations and exceptions sorry, not expectations exceptions beyond

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the scope of our q&a, but to be simplistic. The position that I advocate which would be the position of the majority of scholars are to the best of my knowledge and it is not the only position is the following when a specific item is acquired via volume and complete haram without any semblance or shall we call it without any ambiguity that it is clear cut, loaded and haram and you are aware that this has been acquired illegally, then it is not allowed for you to purchase it. Simple example.

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Do you know for a fact that a particular person is selling you? Let's just say

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a used iPhone or used Rolex watch right dubious character. And for whatever reason, let's just not get into how you know, you know for a fact that he sold this watch. He stole it he broke into somebody's house, or he pickpocketed and now he's selling you this item on the street for a measly price.

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Can you say I didn't steal the iPhone, he stole the iPhone, I didn't steal the watch, he stole the watch. No, you cannot. If you know for certain or with a fairly reasonable amount of certainty so there are dubious characters and dubious places they know they they are selling on the black market. And you know that this has been acquired via blatant how long ie breaking an entry or stealing or pickpocketing, there is no ambiguity. This is clear cut injustice and the item is haram and it will remain how long for those who know it is haram. Obviously, if you don't know and somebody whom you think is honest, has a watch and he sells it to obviously you don't have to do a background check

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and a survey and it's not your business he has an item he sells it okay you're scot free, but if you know that the item is haram and it is stolen, and it is not acquired legally, then you are not allowed to acquire it, it is not legal Islamically i in the eyes of Allah, that money is haram and the watch is haram and if you own it, it is not your own you do not own it, you may think you own it, you do not own it, because it was never allowed to be owned by the thief in the first place. So the Haram pneus of the watch remains haram, because you know that it is illegal and it is a stolen and so you cannot purchase it. However, when there is an ambiguity, we call it a Shubha. When there

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is a type of uncertainty in this regard, then in this case, the Haram miss of the item does not necessarily transfer after every transaction. So in this particular case, what the bank has done is haram to sell the house, take all the money from the lender, and you know, from the seller of the house and to make a profit off of the loan. However, the one who took the loan, the one who borrowed the money, entered into this contract, knowing that if I don't pay three times, the bank will repossess the house. And therefore, he might be angry, of course he is going to be angry, but he's not going to challenge us in a court of law. He's not going to say that, Oh, you know, he could say

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it's a very unethical, very wrong, but he knows deep down inside he agreed to these conditions right? And so this is a very important point because some of our brother and may Allah azza wa jal bless their sincerity and whatnot, but in their sincerity and idealism, they they think that filth is any very pious artistic in this regard. Yeah, my dear brothers and sisters, if you were to live like life like this, you yourselves would not manage your own daily transactions, the Sharia has come to be a lived reality. And that's why you read Yanni, the books are fake, and they're actually PhD is done about the issue of haram money, when does it become halal and what not? And if you were

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to do this, then perhaps every single dollar bill you touch has been involved in a haram transaction? What are you going to do then? So the point being that fit because a little bit more mature and sensible than the piety of Muslims that sometimes might not be within the bounds of the Sharia. Now, you say, I don't want to get involved with banks, good for you. I'm not telling you to go to the bank. If you want to say I'm not going to get involved with buying and selling from the bank. The bank is an institution of injustice. Well, Zakka heard don't buy from the bank. But don't use your fatwah to extract don't use your taco excuse me, the whole plan was gone. Don't use your

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taqwa to extract a fatwa. Don't use your high level of Taqwa to say It's haram for everybody to purchase from the bank. No, it is not. The bank has acquired the land in a manner that is definitely illegal in the eyes of Allah. But the man from whom it was acquired from he agreed to this, and he knows he cannot challenge it. And therefore the item shall return to the bank in terms of legal ownership. And the bank then has the right to sell it to a third party, ie our sister. What's her name? Our sister, Xena, from? How can I forget my daughter's name is Xena, our sister Xena from Mumbai. She may participate in this transaction and she may bid on a house or a car or a land or

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anything that the bank owns. Knowing that the bank has acquired it via defaulting on the loan. And if she wishes to avoid getting involved with the banks, it is permissible than good and I have no doubt saying it is better for her and for all of you to have nothing to do with the bank but it is not haram to purchase from the bank. Even though with the bank, it's

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Have has done was haram when it acquired it, I hope that inshallah clarifies this issue. And I hope that we broke it down for you. So to summarize, in a nutshell,

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auctions are halal, as long as simple conditions are met. And whether the auction item is being auctioned by a bank, or by director owner who actually purchased it completely legally, it is permissible for you to participate in such an auction. However, the item must be known by the way, so I should mention here before I finish up, the item must be known, which means that excuse me, which means that

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you cannot auction an unknown item. These days.

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There are scenarios where unknown items are auctioned, for example, people ship massive boxes in Korean containers of ocean containers and then they don't pick them up, the containers are locked up, or people abandoned warehouses or storages that are locked up. And after the lease has expired, the owner has the right to then publicly open it up in front of everybody and auction it off. In this case, the people who are bidding on these boxes are the storage rooms, they don't know what is inside. And they're bidding anonymous. So they're bidding not anonymously, sorry, they're bidding on items, they don't know what they are, they're bidding on an unknown item, a box, what is inside the

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box, I don't know. But I'm gonna bid 5100. And this would be haram, because you cannot bid on an unknown item in an Islamic land. If such a box or container is unclaimed, the court will open it up and try to find the people. If there is no paperwork and it is completely gone, then they're going to record and make an announcement so that when the original person if he ever comes back, he will be given the price, otherwise, then it will be auctioned off. And they will have a mechanism of who will get that money if it is the owners of the storage or it is public welfare, whatever it might be, but it is not going to be for profit, and you just auction it off for the sake of auctioning. So

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I hope inshallah Tada that answers this question.

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Our second question for today's

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the name has been withheld on request. And you will see why a brother writes to us from New Jersey, that he has an older sister, who has been trying to get married for many years, she is now in her 30s. And for whatever reason, no suitable candidate has come in the past. However,

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she has gotten to know somebody at work. And they have spoken to one another and developed a liking. And now he has proposed for her hand, our brother emails and says this is the problem, that he seems like a good candidate, he's seems to be a good Muslim. However, his father and her father, their brother and sister, his father is not allowing this marriage to take place because the brother who's proposing is from another ethnicity. And he says, My mother and I think this brother is a good candidate. But our father is adamant that he doesn't want to marry outside his ethnicity. And also he says that he doesn't like the fact that his daughter found this man on her own through work. He

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finds this to be Islamically awkward, and he would rather that they go through family and friends. So he is saying the question is, in this case, may I disobey my father, the brother is asking me, may I go against my father's wishes, and take over the world that will die or become the willie for my sister. She's my older sister, May I become the Willie and have this marriage take place? Now, this is a very, very sensitive question. And before I begin, I would like to state I am speaking in generic terms. I'm not speaking to you to your brother in New Jersey or to any specific case, I'm speaking in generic terms for informational purposes only. I am not and I never give specific

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verdicts about family situations and scenarios via this q&a. How can I when it is Islamically not allowed for anybody to pronounce a verdict on a particular family situation without listening to both sides? So whenever there's two people involved, you have your father saying something you have your sister saying something right. I don't know for sure I'm hearing from you through your email. How can I pronounce your verde without listening to the both of them therefore, the goal of my q&a today is to educate and to increase awareness and to have more information that will give you options so that you can then check with people in your locality and aroma and scholars directly that

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you are in touch with and then see what is the best course of option. Also, I would like to stay to that I have given a much longer q&a about the necessity for having a one

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money in a marriage. And I encourage you to listen to that q&a, in fact, may even suggest you pause the video right here and now go Google on YouTube somewhere, it's on this channel on the same channel that does a woman need to worry for marriage and I go over the three main opinions, I will not go over those three opinions in a lot of detail today with the evidence is because I have done that in a previous lecture. And I have said there are three primary opinions historically speaking, the first of them is that and this is the default of the three main hubs. The majority of the three methods the humbly shafr is and Malik is the default position within these three is that Awali is

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required in all scenarios. And the Wali has the ultimate right of veto. If he doesn't want the marriage to take place, then the marriage will not take place regardless of if it is a previously unmarried or if it is a widow or divorce he this is the default position. That's position number one, position number two, which is a position found in the humbly school in the shower for your school, you find some people that have said this is for the Maliki I'm not sure it's I don't want to my memory is failing me now. So I don't want to say but I think it is also found in the Maliki but it is not the default. And that is that a previously unmarried lady, her what he has the ultimate

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right to veto. However, a married lady who has now divorced or widowed, she may then marry with a Wali, but the worry becomes a technicality. So in both scenarios, there's already however, for the one who has been married, and then she's divorced or widowed, the Woody is basically a formality. And if the body agrees, fine, if not, she finds another body, she finds a cousin or brother or an uncle. And she says, Okay, you do my marriage. So she then really becomes the one in charge of her marriage and the what he becomes a technicality. So there is already for the divorced or the widowed. But in reality, she appoints the body. And so it's just a formality. This is the second

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opinion. And the third opinion, which is the default of the Hanafi school is that a adult lady abala does not need a Willie regardless of whether she's previously unmarried, or she is widowed or divorced in all scenarios, she does not need a wali and she may do her own marriage, or she may appoint a Willie. And if though he doesn't like the one she's getting, she may get another one. So in other words, for the Hanafi is the only is a formality in any situation. And so if she appoints one good, if not, she may directly do the marriage herself. And just like she does every business transaction herself, so she can do this. And I went over all of the evidences, this is not the time

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to get into this. And I said, in my humble opinion, based upon my study, and it's a study that is not just a few hours, this is a subject that every one of us who is a student of knowledge or a scholar, we spend years thinking about going over the evidence is the position that I adopted as the second one, which is that a previously unmarried lady, she does require her What is approval to get married, and divorced or widowed lady that really becomes a technicality and just a formality. And if her father brother likes the one that she wants to get married to find, if not, she may find another person and use that person as the Wali. Now, by the way, I'd like to state that that

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response that I gave, it has proven to be one of my most contentious responses in terms of the feedback that I get from the viewers. It's not my most controversial that must be the is the hot answer I gave, which generated Allah who I know would have generated. But that's a whole different point. Let me go not go down that tangent. But this response generated a lot of emails from many sisters who were frustrated with my answer. And they did not appreciate my position. And one of them said, and I quote here, that she writes that she's generally very impressed with my research and my practicality and taking into account the times that we live in. However, she was sorely disappointed

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that for this particular question, it appears that I did not take reality into account. And she says, and I quote, The women of our generation are far more knowledgeable than the women of previous generations, and we need to rethink through this ruling. So the long and short of it is

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this particular scenario where our sister is being denied a marriage, because her father does not like the ethnicity of the the person proposing.

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I say to this, that, even though my opinion is the same, and by the way to answer the other concern that I'm not taking technicalities, or I'm not taking realities into account and whatnot, I say that My dear sister or sisters were emailing me. We take culture into account where the Shediac allows us to take culture into account we cannot take hold

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through and simply negate the text of the Quran and Sunnah cultural

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realities are one of the sources but not the ultimate source. And one of the principles the Maxim's of Fick says, an order form or haccombe, that culture shall be given ultimate authority, but our scholars say ultimate authority where the Sharia allows it to have ultimate authority. And there is no question that when it comes to this issue, the three month hubs other than the 100 feet, they interpret a large set of a hadith in a particular manner. Our Prophet system said Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim that the widowed or divorced lady shall not be married until she gives the command that I want to be married to this man. And the single lady, the bigger the unmarried lady, I should say,

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not the single the previous the unmarried, the virgin lady, she must be asked permission. They said O Messenger of Allah, she is shy. In those days, women would be shy, they wouldn't say yes, I married this man. So the Prophet sesamum said her silence is her consent, this hadith in Bukhari and Muslim and there are so many other Hadith as well. So my point is that the notion of taking culture into account, you're all correct in this regard, but we cannot ignore explicit commandments of the Quran and Sunnah. Culture cannot be used to override and veto the Quran and Sunnah. And with utmost humility, and I'm willing to be corrected here, the claim that women of our generation are different

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than previous generations. And so we should rethink through it seems a bit a bit of a stretch, if you asked me. Because what if one were to say, and I speak as a man here? What if one were to say that the men of our generation, or in some ways I'm speaking generically and not every single month, generally speaking, so many men are worse than so many of the previous generation, and they're willing to take advantage in a way that previous generations would not? You see, the psychological purpose of the Woody is to act as checks and balances, because by nature, a woman is more innocent and trusting I'm sorry to be stereotypical, stereotypical, we live in a time in place where anything

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you say about any gender is viewed as sexist or misogynistic or whatnot, you can no longer even talk about the gender differences, okay? Well, you not wanting to talk about it does not change the reality. And generally speaking, men are more interested in one particular thing. And that is the intimacy aspect. And they're willing to get it generally speaking in ways that might not be the most ethical, whereas women want the love and they want the protection and they want that relationship with the man that is more than just the the intimacy and so they might be more trusting and innocent. So if the man acts in a decent manner, uses the right words, she might be swayed into

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thinking, okay, you know what, let me give him a little bit so that our bond is solidified. And this is where the body comes in, because the body can understand the man and the man who's interested in the woman as well, when he knows there's a woody involved, even this person will act in a different manner. And by the way, for all of you who are going to email me saying that I'm stereotyping before you email me speak to sisters who have been involved in Muslim matrimonial websites, okay? Speak to 20 3050 100 of them and get their feedback. What do they think of the men of our times and how honest and truthful they are, the purpose of the Willie is to act as checks and balances. That's

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what it is. It's not that we are impugning the sister for not being

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fully capable. We are saying that when you bring the willie onto the picture, then the man who is serious the suitor will autumn you will just by having a wadi, I swear to you, you will eliminate 90% of the filth 90% Then you sift through the 10% that come to the table is that okay? Now, let us see. So I stand by what I say that generally speaking and the Sharia is based on generalities. There's always exceptions. Generally speaking, Wendy is meant to protect the woman's interest and to bring the best person to the table. And therefore, due to the explicit nature of these Hadith I personally with utmost respect to my Hanafi brethren, and I know their evidences and I know their

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arguments and counter arguments. This debate has been going on for 1400 years between the various methods with utmost respect because of the nature of these Hadith. I am with the majority, however, the majority with the exception and that is the adult lady who is divorced or widowed. As I said, the body does not have veto power. This is the position that I hold based upon the Hadith in this regard. And I say with utmost humility and with gentleness to our sisters who don't like this position with utmost humility. Well, I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. Please listen to me. I hope inshallah you are married soon. I hope Allah blesses you with sons and daughters. A time will

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come in shallow to either when you will have a young daughter and that daughter will become a teenager and that teen you will become 19 to

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When you're 21 years old, when that happens, I want you to remember what I'm saying now, would you like that your 19 year old daughter and she is bonded, she's after she's 19. She's not a child, even though 19 is not fully adult, would you like this 19 year old comes home one day and says, Oh, I found a boy at my local cafe. You know, he is, you know, the darling of the Romeo of my dreams. Does he have a job? Oh, he's gonna work. So he understands me like nobody else. Why are you worried about money? There's education, oh, he's a visionary. Just wait until you have a daughter. And then you ask yourself this this issue? Would you want your daughter, you know, to believe any man that comes

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up to her and talk about marriage? Or would you want some checks and balances in this regard? So I'm quoting you one scenario, which is, let's say a 19 year old sheltered lady who doesn't understand men, you're recording me the opposite, which is an educated lady who understands men 3540 years old, whatever situation is different, which is why I say very clearly, the default rule remains the same. And that is an unmarried lady previously unmarried to keep on saying unmarried, previously unmarried, virgin lady requires her Woody's permission. However, listen to this now, now we come to your answer. Every rule has exceptions. And these exceptions, can be put into place by those who are

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qualified to do so. So if the wadi acts like a checks and balances for the suitor, and for his daughter, the government, the Islamic court will act as checks and balances for the body. So there is an authority above the body that can take the body status away and give it to somebody else. But it's not going to come from the lady who herself is in love and probably cannot see, you know, beyond the relationship she's in. And it's not going to come from the family members, because there are vested interests, and also is going to cause a lot of tensions rather, it will come from a third party. So in an Islamic land, this lady would have gone to the court of law and said, I have been

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waiting for a good suitor for 1015 years, nobody has come now this man has come. And my father is saying no, for reasons that I think are petty, then the court will look into it and then decide we don't have a court in America, what do we do, you will go to a trusted share of your community. And I say this and please don't read in some type of racism. I'm just being brutally honest here. Try to find a share of your own ethnicity just because most likely your family and your father will listen to that person with more respect. That's the only reason we need to be practical here. I'm not trying to bring in the race card. I'm trying to be practical solution that bring in somebody who

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understands your situation and predicament and understands the language of your father language, not just actual language, but the psychological language of your father. And then listen to this. Try to work with and through your father. Don't just jump over him. Let me give you what you if you were in my community in East Plano Islamic center and epic you know what I would do, I would call the brother make sure that you are at he is as he says he's a decent man, I would call the sister make sure that everything is fine and legit, I would call you make sure you are all in agreement of your mother and everybody then I would call your father and I would speak to him as a man to amount of

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personal to a person try to convince him don't just threaten him try to convince him yaki you know you have to you know, fear Allah your daughter is not going to find a suitable husband, what are you going to do? Nobody else comes, you work with him, you try to put soft pressure, hard pressure, emotional pressure, the daughter should also put some pressure the the son should put pressure you work within the system, you don't just throw it away and say hello, as you're not going to be my Woody. There are repercussions, social repercussions that are going to happen, you might break up the family. For this reason, my dear brother in Islam, don't just say my father is not going to be

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the one he try to work within and on him and through him soften him up, even if he grudgingly says yes, Hamdulillah He has said yes. And the story, okay. You say to him, whatever it needs to be set now in case he is adamant. And if this situation were, as you describe a saying big if I don't know, if really it was, as you described, me personally, if you came in my community, and everything checked that yes, the brother is definitely a suitable partner in many Islamic ways and whatnot, and everything seems to be fine. Then me personally, if your father was absolutely adamant, I would say humbly to your father, you may get angry at me, but I feel that you are doing gloom to your daughter

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and I will give the Wilaya to your son, you must go to a third party. Why? Because your father will be angry at me for a long period of time. May Allah protect me from any type of any, you know, anger or whatnot, but that's going to happen. But we don't want him to get angry at you, your son, you're the son. We don't want him to get angry at you. You have to take you have to understand long term, inshallah Your father will cool down one day, but if you went against him, he might never forgive you. Whereas if you say it's not my fault, the chef who did it, let him be angry at me or the chef of your community because I'm not a family member. Let him say Oh,

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that person, even if he never talks to me again, I don't want him to not talk to you. Again, you understand this point here, my dear brothers, sisters that are involved in these things, understand this is a long term issue. Marriages are big issues, not trivial issues. And that's why a Willie is different. With my utmost respect to that I'd have this as no worry for the sisters because she can buy and sell buying and selling as a one off trade and transaction. Marriage is a communal societal family event. And that is why the Shediac requires a rally for the woman because what's going to happen in the divorce, she's going to come back to the wedding, she's going to come back to the

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Father. So a marriage is a very different type of scenario. And therefore, if the father is absolutely adamant in this regard, I would work with him. And I would soften and threaten and harsh and whatnot using different ways to do so go through cousins go through uncles and relatives try to get him to change. And if he still doesn't change, well, then a sheriff of your community, a person who is a part of your community that can speak to all of the parties concerned, he should look into this issue. And if he realizes because in the end of the day, your father wanting somebody of the same ethnicity is a halal request per se. But when it is impeding on the rights of your sister, and

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we have a crises going on of spinsterhood. We know this, it is not just a problem. It is a crisis. It is one of the biggest problems of our American Muslim community, dare I say, to the best of my knowledge, Western Muslims, overall, we are facing a crisis of marriage, that there the pool of illegible good bachelors is much smaller than the pool of illegible good sisters. For some reason, we don't have a lot of men who are intelligent and good mannered and good Dean and good jobs. Whereas we have lots of sisters who are intelligent and good modern and good design and good jobs, we have a lot of them. Why this is the case is beyond the scope of this talk and Wallahi this is

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definitely a thing we need to address and our communities need to work on this. And there are many reasons by the way, and by the way, it's not just a one way street. To be brutally honest here. Yes, a lot of it has to do with the brothers. But a lot of it has to do with the cultures we're living in, and the rise of various isms out there that emasculate

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what it means to be a man, I'm being very brutally honest here. And also, by the way, let me get into trouble for saying this. But it needs to be said, the most obvious Islamic solution unfortunately, seems to be completely ignored, even though so many on Islamic marriages, meaning society is allowing so many different types of marriage permutations and gender permutations, the most obvious and normal and natural and Sunnah. One, it is not even being discussed. So until all of you decide to understand that for the benefit of the Ummah, we need to return to this reality that once upon a time was the norm in many lands, we are facing such a crisis right now. And until we

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collectively decide that it is permissible and not politically incorrect, until we do that, all of the sisters are going to have to collectively do what they can May Allah make it easy for you. But that needs to be said very bluntly. Nonetheless, my point being

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the issue of spinsterhood is indeed a problematic one. And the fact that as you yourself said, You're waiting for so long for a good brother to come. Now that you have found one, I think that it is too petty, for your father to deny a marriage just because of ethnicity. And as for the notion of them, liking each other from work SubhanAllah. Again, this is where I think culture doesn't need to play a role. So what if that happens, as long as they kept it halal? There's nothing wrong with having emotions and wanting to get married, it is only natural that will happen. And from the Syrah, we learn that our mother Khadija or the Allahu anha, she was the one who felt that the process was a

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good candidate, and she was the one who indirectly facilitated the proposal, there is nothing wrong. And your father needs to be told this gently but firmly and bluntly that there's nothing wrong, as long as everything was kept good. There is no sin. And even if it wasn't kept fully good, may Allah forgive them. But that should not invalidate the marriage later on. Yeah, I need that the marriage is the marriage afterwards. So the point being that, given the reality of spinsterhood, and given that your sister you're saying she has now reached an age where she might not have children, if she doesn't get married now and you don't know when the next person is going to come, I think this is

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definitely a legitimate excuse to get an exception for the rule. It doesn't negate the rule. Every rule has exceptions. The rule is a previously unmarried lady requires her father's or her primary body approval. And in case that is not given, she should respect that until the person is found that meets all the criteria. However, if the Wali is being unjust or foolish or petty, then go to a higher authority and in the lands that we live in that high

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authority is going to be a respected the most respected chef of the community so that nobody can impugn this person, a person who is respected and preferably have the same ethnicity as you are, so that he can know best how to deal with the culture that you're coming from. And it is permissible in this case, if the shake feels so, because again, to conclude on this point, I am not saying your particular situation because I cannot verify I am saying if what you say is correct, and that can only be verified by somebody who speaks to all the parties concerned, I personally would not have a problem taking away the Wali the Wilaya have a person in this case and handing it over to somebody

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else such as you in this case, but that can only be done by somebody who knows the situation personally and the end ALLAH SubhanA were to Allah knows best Zakum Allah who played on was Salam aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

00:50:54--> 00:51:00

what's going on longer fee a Yamin?

00:51:05--> 00:51:05

firmer

00:51:07--> 00:51:14

data fee, meaning fella is gnarly. He won. I fall off.

00:51:16--> 00:51:25

Is gnarly. Haley Mani dunkel what Delco long hour Oh

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II lady to show