Yasir Qadhi – Interview with Br. Karamy

Yasir Qadhi
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of learning from past experiences and avoiding negative news to improve one's spirituality and morality. They stress the need for students to rethink mistakes and find ways to change their values while avoiding hate towards Muslims. The speakers also advise against giving up social media and emphasize the importance of finding a balance between one's own values and others'. They stress the need for students to rethink mistakes and find ways to change their values while avoiding hate towards Muslims.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:03 --> 00:00:43

Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah. Today I have with me a very special guest, which is Chef, Dr. Yasir qadhi. He's a graduate from the University of Medina, well, probably most people know who you are. But I'm just gonna mention a couple of things. So he has a Ba, ba in the Arabic language from the University of Medina and a master's degree in Islamic theology. And he also has a PhD in theology from the University of Yale, you know, which gives him like a very broad approach when it comes to Islamic sciences. And I think that's one of the interesting things that really,

00:00:45 --> 00:01:19

you know, made me think that it would be very interesting to interview you, because there are some methodological differences. Usually, when you study Islam in the east, and when you study Islam in the West, and I think that sometimes, synthesizing the way that Islam is being taught is very important for the Western Muslim. Anyhow, he's also the author of quite a number of books. One of them is the introduction, the introduction to Islamic sciences, which I have here, I actually bought it like 10 years ago, I believe. So this has been, this has been quite a while out there.

00:01:21 --> 00:01:39

And one of the things that I really appreciate about sheffey asset cardio is that he's a very brave person, like, I think since a decade ago, I've seen you talking about, like, the impact of the US foreign policy, in the creation of

00:01:40 --> 00:02:27

unfortunate things like ISIS. And I've also seen you like denouncing or speaking very clearly about the cultish mentality and behavior of some Muslims. And you know, when I, when I hear you talking about those topics, I know that you know that these can get you into trouble. But you still talk about those. And I think that's very inspiring. So this is it, as has an introduction. So I will be asking you a couple of questions and your opinion on several topics. And I believe that the Spanish audience will be benefited from it. And this is it won't be complicated. The first thing I wanted to ask you about is, you know, advice for new practicing Muslims, which can be converted, or people who

00:02:27 --> 00:02:31

just started practicing the religion. Now,

00:02:32 --> 00:03:12

when I started practicing the religion, I don't know, maybe 1520 years ago, I would say 15 years ago, a lot of people of my age, also started practicing the religion. But it seems that they became extremely harsh, especially young people. And they began repeating, you know, a specific set of phrases, a specific set of slogans. And what I would ask you is, what do you think that the person who starts practicing Islam should focus on and why do you think that so many young people and I was one of those to an extent, jump to the harshest version of Islam? And how do you think they can avoid it?

00:03:13 --> 00:03:53

Jade Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah while earlier he will be here, Woman Well, so first and foremost, thank you so much for inviting me and having me on your show. It's my honor and pleasure. And may Allah subhana wa Tada bless you for all the efforts and our that you're doing. And it's my pleasure to address the Spanish speaking audience. I am from Texas, but unfortunately I don't speak Spanish which is not something typical. Most people in in Texas do speak Spanish, but unfortunately, I do not speak Spanish, but inshallah I hope that the translation will be of some benefit. So your question is a very important one. And I will begin by stating that. My

00:03:53 --> 00:04:29

advice to those that have converted to Islam Well, first and foremost before they give me advice hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah, Allah azza wa jal has chosen you and guided you will hamdulillah Allah azza wa jal has blessed you in a blessing that is frankly, shows that inshallah you have a good heart and a pure heart, as Allah says in the Quran, that if Allah knows good in your heart, He will give you better than what has been taken away from you, if ALLAH knows and yeah, let me let you become Hira. If Allah knows that there's a good in your heart. So inshallah This is a sign that there was good in your heart and Allah guided you to Islam. Now now that Allah has guided you to

00:04:29 --> 00:04:30


00:04:31 --> 00:05:00

From my experience, interacting with converts and being involved with converts, I know that many of you will be overwhelmed. Many of you think that once I've embraced Islam, I found the Garden of Eden on Earth, I found peace on earth. But when you enter, all of a sudden, you find there's not just one but multiple varieties of gardens and each one is saying come to this one or come to this when it comes to this one. You know you're in the right place. You know you

00:05:00 --> 00:05:33

You're overall in the right area. But within this area, there seem to be a lot of competition. Some of it seems to be unhealthy. Some of it seems to be even angry or militant. And you are now overwhelmed because you thought, I'm going to embrace this new faith and there will be nothing but love, and you found some of that love. But along with that love you found perhaps some confusion. So my generic advice, as somebody who has been involved with Islamic activism for 30 plus years,

00:05:34 --> 00:06:14

don't lose hope in Allah subhana wa Tada. You converted because of him, not because of other people. No matter what happens from other people, no matter how much disappointments humans give you, you didn't convert because of humans. You didn't convert because the truth of a human being that you're interacting with, you converted because you saw the beauty of Islam, because you recognize La ilaha illallah, Muhammad Rasul Allah, the people who follow Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah are not perfect, but the Kalama is perfect, the Quran is perfect, the prophets Assam, his SeRa is perfect, but humans are not perfect. So don't lose hope. Point number two, my generic advice to all

00:06:14 --> 00:07:02

of you. And I'm being very, very frank here. Don't get lost in the details. Don't be overwhelmed by the fine print by the footnotes, be a Muslim, in the broad sense, submit to Allah, try to offer your prayers, your fasting, your Zika these are the main rituals, you know, live a good ethical life, right? Speak the truth. Be honest, be dignified, you know, act with good manners with your family, with your relatives. And the average Muslim is going to come and start talking to you about the fine print about the details about where to place their hands. And you know, this is haram and * and whatnot. And I humbly request you to not get lost in the fine print, stick with the big text right

00:07:02 --> 00:07:48

now. And slowly, but surely, you will see which which of the fine print you're more interested in at the time being, you can't absorb everything at once. You can't. So don't feel bad that Oh, I don't understand all of this right now. Don't worry about it. And Hamdulillah you are committed to Islam, you are praying, you're trying to live an ethical life, you're reading the Quran. So you have passed the biggest tests, the smaller tests will continue to come till the day that you die, right. Don't be overwhelmed by the small issues by the fine print, this is my second advice, you will have passed the big exam. Don't worry about the smaller issues for now. The third advice, you will be

00:07:48 --> 00:08:00

overwhelmed by the correct interpretation of Islam, people will come to you from many different groups. And each one will say oh follow this way or else you will be misguided. And

00:08:01 --> 00:08:43

the answer to which group is correct is too complex and complicated to give in two minutes, but I will give you I will give you a generic compass, use this compass to navigate through all of these difficulties. Any group that is emphasizing coming closer to Allah and being conscious of the Day of Judgment, and living better lives, and loving the Prophet of Islam and the Quran, and being good to people, that is overall an indication that that is the correct overall correct direction. And any group that is emphasizing hating other people

00:08:44 --> 00:09:27

criticizing especially other believers, any group that is teaching you to destroy other groups rather than to build your own Iman, this is a sign that compass is pointing in the wrong direction. So my generic advice to you is to not get involved in groups that are more interested in other groups. That's my generic advice to get involved with people and groups that are more interested in Allah subhana wa Tada and in teaching you how to be a better person, and in guiding you to be more ethical, more moral, more upright, more virtuous. And within this there are many, many positive groups. The final point of generic advice because again, much can be said is that

00:09:30 --> 00:09:31

in my humble opinion,

00:09:32 --> 00:09:36

all mainstream movements have good in them.

00:09:37 --> 00:09:59

And I think it is a mistake to criminalize demonize any mainstream movement. What is a mainstream movement, a mainstream movement is a movement that prioritizes the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. This is a mainstream movement, right? There are many movements and these movements they differ in

00:10:00 --> 00:10:45

very fine details, I would advise you to choose any of the movements that your heart is inclined towards, and then respect the other movements. And within every mainstream movement, you will find scholars and preachers that are trying to unify the OMA. And you will find scholars and preachers that are more interested in their movement than in the OMA. In every movement, you will find the same. So once you you're comfortable with the movement, now find the scholars and preachers that are more interested in unity, then in disunity, and you will find people like this. And my humble advice to you don't associate with those who are constantly bashing other people by name constantly

00:10:45 --> 00:10:59

criminalizing other people. That's not the priority of Islam, I will be honest with you, even if those people are misguided, to make their misguidance the primary focus of a person's religion is itself a misguidance.

00:11:01 --> 00:11:15

One should prioritize one's own spirituality and Ezekiel, and this is the best now you ask a secondary question, and that is, why are some people attracted to more harsher versions? I think this is a human,

00:11:16 --> 00:11:16

you know,

00:11:17 --> 00:11:26

human nature to do so. And that is that when you discover something for the first time, you become a little bit overzealous about it, right? I look at vegans.

00:11:27 --> 00:11:55

Look at those who go stop eating meat. And they are once they become vegan, they become extremely passionate, they become hardcore. Maybe after 2030 years, many of them just like, You know what, even if I'm vegan, the rest of the world can live as they want. You know, I'm saying it's human nature, it's an overcompensation. Don't feel guilty about it when you go through a phase. And, you know, again, I've been through enough movements and enough people to vote for 95% of converts. It's a temporary face.

00:11:56 --> 00:12:29

Even for you, by the way, it's not just converse, when a Muslim born and raised in Islam, rediscovers Islam, right. They might be nominally Muslim praying only Joomla not really interested. And then when they get 1920 23, they meet a group that they really love. Right? And so they become fully attached, then it become over attached. So they have to overcompensate for those years that they weren't there practicing. So don't don't worry about it. It's natural, it's unnatural, and learn from the experiences and mistakes of others. And

00:12:31 --> 00:13:12

my again, isn't advice you have to you have to be the one to listen to it at the end of the day. My advice to you is what exactly the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, in their heart that Dena used to run this religion is ease and no one shall make the religion super strict, except that the religion will end up destroying him. The religion is not about difficult. The religion is not about harshness, or profits is that I'm sent preachers and he said to them, yes, Cyril will lie to our serial Bushido Allah to the pharaoh make things easy for the people. And don't make things difficult. Give them glad tidings so that they feel optimistic and don't give them negative news so

00:13:12 --> 00:13:45

that they feel pessimistic, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was not a harsh person, he was not somebody who was always you know, refuting and getting angry and he was a gentle, loving kind soul. So those that are wanting to follow his his in his footsteps should follow that as well. And Allah azza wa jal, you know, guide me and you to that which he loves Inshallah, I mean, I mean, you reminded me of a time in my life in which I, I actually, when I became practicing, I started like, telling my father that everything he was doing was a beta. And I really

00:13:47 --> 00:14:01

regret that phase in my life. And I could have avoided a lot of mistakes until I had time to fix it. But I know people who didn't have the time to fix it. So it is Insha Allah, if people hear this, let them take

00:14:02 --> 00:14:34

advice from it. Okay, so the next question I wanted to ask is about the future of Islam in the West. My question is about the future of Islam in the Spanish speaking world, but the same thing applies because it's not so different. Spain, Latin America, and what I feel is that a lot of a lot of the people who migrated here, Muslims, they were from North Africa, from Pakistan from West Africa, and Alhamdulillah they migrated Alhamdulillah they build masajid And Alhamdulillah. They taught Islam to their children with the means that they had.

00:14:37 --> 00:14:41

Okay, but the fact of the matter is that a lot of their children now, like me, included

00:14:44 --> 00:14:47

you know, we are not McCabe's. We are not from West Africa.

00:14:48 --> 00:14:59

We are not fully Spanish. I mean, we are Spanish but you know, there's this like this identity thing of, you know, what, what are we? And I do believe that when Islam is

00:15:00 --> 00:15:35

taught in a, you know, when when Islam is important when you when you bring out like information about Islam and the way, like every culture has their set of priorities and when you bring the way they teach Islam to the Spanish landscape? You know, it may not. I mean, maybe it doesn't make too much sense. And what that creates is like an alienation in young people. So a lot of young people, they go to the masjid, but whatever they hear is not relevant to them. And my question is, and this is something that I think, for ours, how can we build,

00:15:37 --> 00:15:42

you know, a purely Spanish or Latin American, and I will talk to you this way

00:15:44 --> 00:16:29

of teaching Islam and learning Islam that is firmly rooted in the tradition, you know, because you have we have in Spain, not not too many of them, but some people who have like extremely modernist views, you know, which I don't think it's evil. And I think some of them are really sick and tired of some, you know, excesses in institutionalized religion, but at the same time, you know, my idea is that in the future, people should learn Islam in a way which is completely coherent with their reality and their context. And at the same time, it is rooted in the tradition, you know, and do you think that's possible? And how, yeah, yeah, this is a really good question. And there is no way to

00:16:29 --> 00:17:08

do this, except in a multi step process, right? The first stage of every Western Land is that the Muslims will go there to work or to study, they must bring their scholars, there is no other way to do this, they must bring their scholars and these scholars will have some of them will acclimatized more than others, some will never learn the native language of the land. And others will learn some will be young and dynamic and absorb and others will be staying in their bubble. But there's going to be a timeframe where you're going to have you know, the important scholars come in, that's necessary, it's inevitable, what else is going to happen, then the second phase will come. And then

00:17:08 --> 00:17:43

my point is, you know, these phases, so we expedite them, right. The second phase will be people like you, even me back in the 80s, and 90s, born here and studying with those scholars, right? The second phase, people who are fully acclimatized to the land they're born into, they speak the language fluently. They understand the culture fluently. And they are committed Muslims because Allah has blessed them to have people who built some infrastructure, not the best infrastructure, but it's a beginning. You know, my father came and built the first Masjid in Houston back in the 70s, you know, he brought the first Imam, that Imam that he bought back in the 70s was my first

00:17:43 --> 00:18:22

foreign teacher, he still doesn't speak English to this day, by the way, fluidly, speaks broken English to this day, 40 years, and he hasn't learned English, you know, but you know what he did his job. In the sense he taught us the basics, he taught us the Quran and whatnot, right? So then that second generation is going to come right, the second phase is going to come of age. And this is where we need to incentivize them. Now, you go where your teachers studied, you will have to do that for the time being, because the fully immersed program, the full curriculum will not be in your home country, you will get bits and pieces for now, you will have to go and study the tradition in a

00:18:22 --> 00:19:03

traditional seminary, right? And be brave enough and bold enough to go there and be the first of those batches. This is now the third phase happening right? Now the third phase is going to come back. And this is where the real revolution begins. This is what we're seeing in America in England now. Right? This is the flourishing now of indigenous local, born and raised in the land. Now we have a spectrum within them. Some of them, many of them will want to copy and paste what they got back overseas. And there's good in that. And there's also some negatives, right? And others understand that we cannot just copy and paste one strand, we need to be more broad minded, right.

00:19:03 --> 00:19:40

And so there's got to be levels of adaptation. And this is reality we're seeing here in America, I've been through my own phases as well. You know, 15 years ago, I wanted to modify my strand for the Western context. And I did that for a decade, a decade. And I came to my own conclusions, but I don't have a problem. I don't have a problem with those who wish to modify their strands, their interpretations for the Western world, as long as as we said, they don't prioritize preaching hatred of other people. If they do that, then I think that's a mistake. And I think it's a problem in the long run. But as long as they want to remain faithful to a tradition, and you know, give it to their

00:19:40 --> 00:19:59

people, that's good, but in my humble opinion, that's only going to be partially successful. In the end, you need a local flavor, right? And this is where you need to have, you know, individuals who are fully trained and also able to negotiate the cultural terrain. What is a indigenous

00:20:00 --> 00:20:12

Spanish Islam revived from original and de Lucia, but still different. It's 500 years on, what will that look like? That will happen at the hands of people like Konami,

00:20:13 --> 00:20:52

you're gonna come and you will. Now now, this will also mean, you're going to change the language of that one. Because I am not the best person to give Dawa to a Spanish audience. You and even by the way, I say Spanish fact of the matter is Dawa in Spain is going to be different than that we're in Brazil. Yep. Okay, it'd be different than that we're in Argentina. And in you know, in Portugal, each one is going to have a slightly different I don't know, Portugal, as you speak Portuguese, I know that, from my perspective, Portuguese and Spanish is the same thing. Same thing, but for my life. But my point is that the nuances, the methodology, the language, the examples, even the

00:20:52 --> 00:21:00

subjects that you're going to reach and teach, they are based upon your peoples, and the people's, their,

00:21:01 --> 00:21:43

their yearning for something higher will be based upon what's missing in their culture. So in America, for example, the default is there is no religion in the hearts of the people, I need to then shape my discourse to an audience that doesn't believe in God. I know for a fact, that is not the case in South America. That is not the case in Colombia, in Brazil, in Argentina, the bulk of people respect God, believing So automatically, the language, the discourse, the example be different. And that's why I'm saying you now in this stage of yours need to rethink through and see what is most effective, and you might make some mistakes along the way. But we should be, we should

00:21:43 --> 00:21:49

be forgiving of those mistakes, because without getting lost a few times, you're never going to find the right track.

00:21:51 --> 00:22:19

It shows that this can happen at your hands and shop and the people of your generation. Yeah, it's trial and error, like everything in life. Okay, one question, which is related to this is, you know, when I studied Islam in the beginning, you know, I would study, for example, APA. And I remember, in some of the data classes, we, I was only being taught how the other group is wrong. And then I got a hold of a book called, I think it's the Cambridge,

00:22:21 --> 00:23:02

the Cambridge companion to classical Islamic theology. And when I read that, for the first time, I understood all the schools in their, in their historical context. Now, the interesting thing is that the editor is a Muslim, Muslim convert from the UK. But I quickly maybe, I don't know, but to something to some extent, I get the impression that some of these Western academic works even done by Muslims now, because you are way ahead of us. I mean, the Spanish speaking world, some of this, I mean, the way of dealing with this topics, which is more historical and less passionate and less sectarian, I would say, it has helped me understand the differences between the schools. So I would

00:23:02 --> 00:23:09

love to see like that way of teaching Islam flourishing in Spain. And my question is,

00:23:10 --> 00:23:24

when do you think that happens in the third phase, or the second phase? Because I think that should be accelerated as soon as possible, because we need that as soon as possible. So listen, the thing is what what is happening in some places, and what I'm doing here,

00:23:25 --> 00:24:09

it's a bit more difficult to do in lands that are that Islam has been established in because in those lands, all of these different interpretations have now become, they have vast followings. They are they are they are massive in number. So when somebody comes along and says, Hey, you guys who are fighting over this issue, you know, you didn't need to fight. You, there's no reason to be so angry over the SIFAT controversy, the attributes of God, this is my opinion, that both sides have made an issue far more, you know, bigger than it needs to be between the two of them. I'm not going to be talking about between Sunni Muslims. You know, I don't want to mention too explicit if your

00:24:09 --> 00:24:38

audience doesn't know, good for them. But there are two strands of Sunni Muslims. They have been intellectually fighting, not physically fighting. They've been shouting at each other and accusing each other being heretical for 800 years. Now, there's so much baggage that they cannot think outside the box, they can only see 800 years of animosity, right. It's very difficult in that environment for somebody to break away and even if they do,

00:24:39 --> 00:24:49

well, you have millions of people on both of the sides that are saying who are you to tell us we shouldn't be fighting? Yep, actually, we should fight you because you're telling us to have peace

00:24:50 --> 00:24:59

as basically however, in America and other places Alhamdulillah the majority of Muslims are not fighting over these issues for 800 years. And if I come along

00:25:00 --> 00:25:36

to say, hey guys, you know, those two guys fighting over, they're really they're our brothers in Islam, they shouldn't be fighting. And even if they don't like each other, we like the both of them. That message is actually very popular in lots of people's minds because it hits the heart is fitrah. It's, you know, I explained to them, those that say, this attribute means this and those that say these attributes means that the both of them are coming from Love of Allah, the both of them are coming to respect to the Quran. And in the way they go slightly different, this goes here, this goes there, but the path they started on was the same path. And unfortunately, these two guys have not

00:25:36 --> 00:26:10

understood their their path is the same. But let us understand and let us not get involved in their fights. Let us try if we can reconcile them as well. Now, that type of rhetoric, it's much easier to do when you haven't been involved in 800 years of fighting, right. And that's more. And that's why I find it at least in the Western context, that had handed out the type of message that I'm preaching, which is that all of these different movements and interpretations, as I explained, you know, sometimes they make a trivial thing, bigger than it needs to be, even if one of the two is right.

00:26:11 --> 00:26:54

How wrong is the other such that you have to be angry and refused and say, You're going to you're going to be, you know, a deviant? No brother, even if he's wrong, right? It's coming out of a place of love for Allah. And I gave the example of celebrating the process. And on his birthday, the motive, right? I have a whole video about that. And I said, both groups opinion, is coming out of love of the professor. The one group shows love by celebrating the other group shows love by not celebrating. Yeah, can't we see the love in common, such that we try to love as well, rather than hate? How can you hate somebody who wants to love the promises? And even if you respectfully

00:26:54 --> 00:27:09

disagree, so you know what, one of these two opinions, I'm more inclined towards, at least acknowledge the love that is present in the other group that will tone down any hatred you have. And don't hate somebody who wants to love Allah and His messenger. That's simple as that.

00:27:11 --> 00:27:13

So a lot. Yeah, that's true.

00:27:14 --> 00:27:16

Okay, so the next question I wanted to ask,

00:27:18 --> 00:27:19

has to do with values?

00:27:21 --> 00:28:05

Well, I was actually planning to ask you about the LGBTQ plus, but actually, this could be extrapolated to anything related to values. Because what I've, what I've found is that, well, this is my experience. You know, I do believe that, for example, homosexual practices are haram. I mean, it's haram for you to get involved in those practices. But, for example, during my 13 years working in a hotel, you know, I, I've dealt with a lot of homosexuals working with me, people coming in the hotel, and some Muslims, I mean, guests of the hotel, and some Muslims seem, they have this idea that whenever they see a homosexual person, they start saying that I really hate this. They should

00:28:05 --> 00:28:13

be I mean, they shouldn't be like this, you know, I mean, they shouldn't be like, freely, you know, exposing their homosexuality.

00:28:15 --> 00:28:58

And the same goes for transgender people. And I do believe that Islam never asked us to be so hateful. And I've, what I see is that sometimes we believe and that's this is what I want to ask you your your view, sometimes we believe that the harshest we are to these people, or to people who have different values, the more pious we are. So my question is, how do you think that Muslims can find balance between not compromising their values, because I will never go out and say that these things are halal, meaning that God allows for them because I believe he doesn't. But at the same time, that doesn't mean that I have to hate people. And you know, persecute people. And sometimes when you say

00:28:58 --> 00:29:10

this, some zealous people believe that you are compromising, which is not true. And at the same time, whenever you say that, you believe that these things are haram, other people say that, Oh, you are homophobic. So

00:29:11 --> 00:29:36

sometimes it's hard for people to find the middle path in which you don't compromise your values. And you are explicit about what you believe. But you just stayed what Islam says, you know, this is a sin and heartless people do in their personal lives. You don't need to persecute or hate. Good question. So the issue of hating a person requires a little bit of nuance.

00:29:37 --> 00:29:39

Christians say Hate the sin, not the sinner.

00:29:41 --> 00:29:59

We as Muslims, we don't have the exact same concept but neither do we have the opposite. Hate the sinner and this and that's also no. So what we say is, and this is very simple to understand what you get the point. There are different types of sinners. Some of them

00:30:01 --> 00:30:41

We can excuse the sinner but not the sin. And hence we're not going to hate the sinner even as we hate the sin. So for example, the person is not even a Muslim and doesn't even know what Islam says. Right? So the people that go to your hotel, they're drinking, they're partying, they're, they're, you know, fornicating they're even living the LGBT lifestyle, the bulk of them, most 99% of them, they have never heard of Allah and His Messenger, they've never read the Quran. How can you have hatred for somebody who doesn't even know he's rejecting the truth? For you to hate such people is actually a problem. Right? How can you give power to somebody that you hate. So this is one level

00:30:41 --> 00:30:48

one, one of the side of the spectrum, ignorance, you cannot hate a person who doesn't even know he's doing wrong.

00:30:49 --> 00:31:32

Now, you go to the other side, somebody who has studied Islam, knows the Quran knows it is from the Prophet system, that it's from Allah subhanho wa taala. And he knowingly rejects the faith and wants to, you know, criminalize the practice of Islam Islamophobes, you know, that are wanting to ban Islam, and they know Islam to be true. I mean, the examples in the Quran are frown, and will gel for example, right? They know Islam to be true. And they still hate the Muslims, because it's not their people, because they would lose power of the converted. This is the exact opposite extreme. Now, how can you not hate the sin and the sinner?

00:31:34 --> 00:31:37

Between these two are 1,000,001 shades?

00:31:39 --> 00:32:20

And every person you meet, you need to assess how much good does this person have? And how much bad and is this bad coming out of ignorance? Or is it a mistake that he's acknowledging a mistake that is acknowledged right, is always always potentially forgivable, but Allah subhanaw taala when you turn to Allah, a Muslim, you're not a sin. You're you're not a perfect person. I'm not a perfect person, right? You come to me say, Oh, why did you do that? That day I saw you, you. You You said something that you know, to this person that you knew to be false, you You caught me in the act of say, I say stuff for Allah, may Allah forgive me. So I acknowledge i, and that's what our father

00:32:20 --> 00:33:07

Adam, when he ate from the tree, he said, I made a mistake of Allah, right? So then Allah forgive. So the one who commits a sin, acknowledging it is a sin, there is hope for that person, versus the one who commits the sin and doesn't care, I don't care to sin or not, I'm still going to do it. That's a bliss. So you have to have a spectrum. And look at where this person falls. And there will be some people we hate them for their sin. And especially those who know it is a sin. Know Allah has forbidden it. And still, you know, want to flout it and make fun of you for being the opposite. That is a person we will not like, okay, and by the way, hatred should never lead to violence. You don't

00:33:07 --> 00:33:12

like somebody like simple example, somebody who you know, curses your mother.

00:33:13 --> 00:33:47

You're not gonna like that because you're gonna hate that person. Somebody has, you know, stolen money from your father. You know, this was a businessman, you know, he set up a deal he trapped your innocent father and he extorted money from him. You will be full of anger. How could this person have done that? You know, you're not allowed to get violent, you're just not allowed. But you how can you like this person? So in a same way, Abuja hang around. If they were walking today, you would not like this person. You don't say, Now it doesn't mean you can't give them that or you can give them Darwin maybe maybe they really don't know Islam if they don't not Muslim, but you have to be

00:33:47 --> 00:34:13

careful with this person. Right? So this is to answer your question. There's a spectrum. But the defaults, my dear Muslim brothers and sisters, those that are not Muslim. How can you hate them? They don't know the truth. That's the default the people you interact with your colleagues, your people on the street, your neighbors, you must be full of compassion, you must be full of wanting to show them the truth. And that's how you will best guide them to Islam.

00:34:15 --> 00:34:26

Inshallah, okay, thank you so much. Now I have like two or three more questions which are secondary, the first and this is something that affects me personally and other people.

00:34:28 --> 00:34:55

How do we deal with non religious family members? In the beginning, we were talking about how when the person starts practicing Islam they should focus on the things which are clear in the deen. It is very clear in the deen that you have to pray and become a better person. It is ironically very clear in the deen that you have to become a better son or daughter and a lot of us young people. When we start practicing, we become like we mistreat our parents, which is

00:34:56 --> 00:34:59

weird. And one of the most important things in this

00:35:00 --> 00:35:05

them is similar to Iran like, connecting the family ties.

00:35:06 --> 00:35:14

But again, it happens that when many people start practicing Islam, what they do is that they start putting their families

00:35:16 --> 00:35:30

in a difficult situation and they start criticizing and they start, you know, people become like, sick and tired of hearing about Islam and the Quran because of the way they're hearing about it through that religious person. So my question is,

00:35:32 --> 00:35:55

how, what would be your advice, if I start practicing Islam, or I convert to Islam, that many people convert to Islam, and they start, like, they want to make Dawa to their families, and they become harsh in that. So what would you say is the best advice and why they I mean, what they should focus on when it comes to family relations? Excellent question. So this is another

00:35:56 --> 00:36:37

common phenomenon, that many, many, many, many converts. And even again, when I say converse, there's two categories of people, the Muslim who was not practicing, and he reconvert he rediscovered the faith. And the person who embraced Islam, the both of them is a common phenomenon that they fall into a mistake. And that mistake is they become overzealous. And that mistake is they feel once they've discovered the truth, everybody around them is going to automatically discover the truth. And if they don't, well, then this new person new convert a new religious person becomes very frustrated and angry, how come you I saw the truth? How come you can see it. And they sometimes even

00:36:37 --> 00:37:30

become, you know, mean, and angry and shouting and whatnot. So my advice, learn from the experiences of those before you 10s of 1000s Millions of people. Yes, you must explain to your family and friends why you're different. Yes, you must go over basic Islamic theology and basic Islamic rituals. But understand, not everybody's heart is going to accept the truth. Not everybody's heart is going to accept the truth immediately. And so once you have explained, my humble advice, is never argue about Islamic theology. Explain. And if they push back, explain it a different way. Don't lose your temper. Don't raise your voice. Don't think that, because listen to me, raising your voice is

00:37:30 --> 00:38:11

not going to change if whether you're saying is true or not. That's not going to change truth from falsehood. No matter how loud you say something. Whether it's true or false, is the same. being mean and nasty is not going to make the person more interested in what you're saying. Actually, now that you're a Muslim, you must maintain dignity, better than when you were not a Muslim. Yeah. So when your mother, your sister, your brother, your father gets angry yelling at you, you will smile back in return. And say I understand your frustration. I understand why you love your religion. Now that I'm different. You feel that I betrayed it. I understand that, you know, but I have found something

00:38:11 --> 00:38:38

better. Look at Ibrahim how he spoke to his father, right? Look at Ibrahim Ali Salam has recorded a passage in the Quran, how he spoke to his father. Yeah, birdie, my dear father, right. Some knowledge has come to me that you did not have. And if you follow this knowledge, then you will be on a better path. Look at how soft how gentle he's doing this right. So allow time to let these facts be absorbed by your family. And then

00:38:39 --> 00:39:32

my Frank and blunt advice and I cannot get more blunt than this. I cannot get more you know more. You know solid in this. Listen to me carefully. Let your manners speak more than your tongue. When you are preaching to your family and your friends and your relatives. Let your manners your kindness, your love. Your sweetness speak much more than the arguments of theology and Islam and the Quran and Jesus and the Bible. That's 1% Let 99% of your that will be via your manners, your smile, you're giving of gifts, you're changing your lifestyle used to be nasty and mean now that you're Muslim, you will be kind and compassion used to take drugs and alcohol. Now that you're Muslim,

00:39:32 --> 00:40:00

they're going to see what is the effect of leaving drugs and alcohol used to have all these boyfriends girlfriends now that you're Muslim, you're going to start a family have loving kids and your parents are going to see oh my god, this was a guy he would be with all of his girlfriends now. He's with one lady they're raising a family is going to touch them in a way that words will never touch them. And that takes years. years. So my advice to all of you speak through your manners more

00:40:00 --> 00:40:01

Did you speak through your tongue?

00:40:03 --> 00:40:44

Just like a la halen. And maybe the final question I would like to ask, I would like to ask something about, you know, the topic of masculinity, because this has become like a, like a fashion or viral subject. And what I've seen in some young Muslims is that they are following some people, you know, online, the gurus and stuff, who talk about masculinity. And to be honest, they say some things which are true. But just like we have extreme feminists, I see that a lot of these people have become like, extreme, I don't know how to say, I don't know how to say, but they are a little bit, you know,

00:40:46 --> 00:40:52

misogynist, maybe, maybe that would be a word. They seem that I mean, they, it looks as if

00:40:54 --> 00:41:05

talking down on women, makes you more man or something. And I see that a lot of young people follow this, this individuals because maybe they don't have like a middle path.

00:41:06 --> 00:41:53

I mean, they don't know how to be a man. Without that having to imply that you looked down on women. So but at the same time, I do believe that there isn't a problem in Western society in which men are taught to be weak, I do believe that. But being a strong men doesn't mean that you have to look down on women. To some degree, I understand that it's the opposite. So what would you say that? I mean, because Muslims are caught between their culture of origin, the Western, and all these new red pill movement. So what what what are your thoughts for a Muslim to find balance as a Muslim? Yeah. So this is a very difficult, very sensitive question. Unfortunately, what we're seeing is that there's

00:41:53 --> 00:42:00

a lot of tension between our brothers and our sisters. And in fact, there's a lot of tension between men and women overall. And

00:42:01 --> 00:42:03

each side is blaming the other side.

00:42:04 --> 00:42:25

And I am saying that, as Muslims, it is not healthy. When our brothers and sisters have so much frustration and anger against the other, it's not healthy. We need both sides to understand there are legitimate grievances of the other against their gender.

00:42:26 --> 00:43:11

Both sides have legitimate grievances. A lot of sisters feel that men are dismissive of them, that men don't give them the respect that they deserve, that men treat them only for their bodies, and look and stare at them and treat them in a very derogatory manner. And don't give them the respect and the kindness and the love that is needed. Right. On the flip side, men feel that sisters are a lot of husbands that a lot of people feel that women are not even allowing them to be masculine. And when they are then they get accused of being, you know, chauvinist, or whatnot, you know, misogynistic, or whatnot. And that a lot of men feel that some sisters, many sisters have lost true

00:43:11 --> 00:43:12


00:43:13 --> 00:43:50

And they miss that the men wants the women to be feminine. And femininity for them means being kind and compassionate and motherly, to prioritize being a mother, then to prioritize money, for example, right, or careers. Now, of course, the flip side is the sister say, we cannot prioritize being a mother, if you don't give us the comfort of being a mother, we're not certain you're going to have us forever, we're gonna have to have careers, right. And that's a legitimate point. Like you the way you guys are acting, we can't trust you to take care of us 30 years, 40 years of our lives. So what is going to happen if you decide to leave we need to have so you see, this is a legitimate tension.

00:43:51 --> 00:43:55

And there's no easy solution. But I will tell you for sure, for sure.

00:43:57 --> 00:44:08

Using harsh language to demean the other is going to complicate the problem, not solve it. being arrogant about your own gender against the other gender,

00:44:09 --> 00:44:24

constantly belittling the other gender, constantly mocking and making fun of and poking holes, that's going to make the problem much worse. So I agree. Each side has legitimate grievances. I agree that

00:44:26 --> 00:44:46

the solution is going to take a while there is no easy solution. But I also say if you're going to go to the fringes of either side, you're going to make the problem worse. And they are fringe in the men's side and the fringe and the women's side. Avoid these extremes and be in the middle. And also final point here is that

00:44:47 --> 00:44:59

you know a lot of a lot of people who are going through especially their younger years in their 20s, early 30s It is easier for them to go to the fringe. Once you have your own family. You have sons

00:45:00 --> 00:45:42

and daughters, once your daughter's reach teenage years, and I've seen this in my own life, and in the life of many of my friends and colleagues that when we were younger, when we were not married, it was much easier to have these very harsh and rigid views about women and how they should act and what not. Yeah, can you just wait until you have your own 19 year old daughter at home? Right? Right now you yourself are 1920 You think you know everything. A time will come? When Insha Allah, Allah will bless you to have a family, and that family will grow and become mature, then you will realize that, hey, you know what, this young lady, that's my daughter, she also has the right to aspire to a

00:45:42 --> 00:46:28

better life. She has concerns that are legitimate. She has fears of the opposite gender that I now understand having gone through 4050 years of my own life, those fears are actually found it in real life examples and scenarios. And all of a sudden, you will sympathize with both sides of the gender divide. It's not that simplistic. So my advice to the youngsters, be patient a time will come when you yourself will tone down your rhetoric and actually have genuine, you know, empathy for both of the sides. Shama? Okay. Yeah. Alhamdulillah. Okay, another question I wanted to ask you is with regards to mental health, the idea, I mean, what I see is that a lot of Muslims are in a defensive

00:46:28 --> 00:47:15

position, like, you know, in the West, there's this llama phobia. But I what I actually feel is that in the West, people are like, families are becoming destructured. And there are, you know, anxiety and depression and suicide rates, which are not present at all in West Africa, for example, where I'm coming from. And it is an irony that people there, they really dream about the idea of coming to Europe. And actually what what the data tells us is that here in Europe, people are very unhappy. And there was a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression. And how do you think that Muslims could actually see themselves as a way of helping humanity to give purpose and sense to their lives

00:47:15 --> 00:47:22

because I do believe that we are, we are looking up to people that sometimes they themselves don't have.

00:47:24 --> 00:47:32

They don't have a purpose in life, and they are suffering because of it. So and we are not looking at ourselves as part of the solution to this human problem.

00:47:34 --> 00:47:54

So how so to rephrase the question, you're saying, How can we as Muslims offer hope and solution to those who are suffering? Yeah, to humanity in general, especially in the so called first world where people are very empty, and they live in a void when it comes to purpose? Yeah.

00:47:55 --> 00:48:11

Subhanallah This is a very deep question. I've been battling it myself for the longest time, a lot of my photos and videos on this. You know, I think that this is a gift that Allah has given us that people don't even don't even realize they need.

00:48:12 --> 00:48:54

And we have to package the gift in a way that they will appreciate the most. All too often we take our gifts for granted. And we walk around as if we are now better people without recognizing we used to be one of them. Allah says in the Quran, Karateka quintuple w famend Allahu Alikum, you used to be like that, but Allah blessed you now you are different. So, you as well want to share this blessing with other people. And I say all the time, you know Allah, I thank Allah was born into a Muslim family and I was raised in practicing environment, I could not understand I cannot understand how somebody can live without religion.

00:48:55 --> 00:49:32

I cannot understand how somebody can live without believing in a higher power, I would go crazy, I would think life is meaningless, I would not know what to do with my. So I thank Allah for what He has blessed me with and I feel a responsibility, how can I convey this message to other people and this is as you said, trial and error, trial and error all the time, and I have a lecture online, inshallah you will benefit from it. It is called how to deal with stress through the lens of the zero. Okay, how to deal with anxiety through the lens of this era. This lecture will help us to

00:49:34 --> 00:50:00

overcome our problems one after the other, and deal with anxiety and grief and emptiness and loneliness in our lives. When we look at the theater of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam when we overcome loneliness in our own lives, depression in our own lives and anxiety in our own lives. The people around us will notice that hey, what makes you so peaceful The world is full of anger and stress. You seem to be living a very

00:50:00 --> 00:50:00

Good Life.

00:50:02 --> 00:50:44

So you say to them, I'm living this life because what I have in my heart is more precious to me than this whole world. So I have the best treasure that I need the rest of the treasures of this world, whether I have them or not, it's not going to affect this treasure. And that's your most powerful mechanism to be a source of light, you become the light in a world of darkness, you show the light from Allah subhanaw taala in a world of darkness, and people who are searching for light will find you will search out for you. And when they come to ask you, where did you get this light from? That is when you open up and you will smile, big smile, and you will say this is a light my Creator has

00:50:44 --> 00:51:25

given me Do you want this light to you too can be given this blessing from Allah subhanaw taala just believe in Him, submit to Him, worship Him and you will find this level of happiness that will make you happy in this world before in the next world inshallah. Inshallah. Good. Okay, a question I would like to ask you. What do you think? On what what would you advise people when it comes to social media use? Because I tell a lot of my audience that they shouldn't they should not have social media apps in their phones, because it has been proven to be detrimental to their mental health. And as far as I see to your spiritual health, but that seems to be too harsh of an advice

00:51:25 --> 00:51:29

for so many people. So what are your thoughts on this?

00:51:30 --> 00:51:45

So yeah, I think it is a bit unrealistic for people to give up social media in totality. But I do think that we need to balance between real world and between online world, the real world is not social media. Social media,

00:51:46 --> 00:52:29

is a imaginary space, where people can construct alternative realities, alternative equals alternative problems, alternative issues, social media should be kept to a minimum, once you prioritize the real world relationships around them. And the end of the day, social media is actually probably more harmful than beneficial, but a little bit of, you know, interaction with it is necessary for one's life. So my advice to all of you really is to concentrate on real relationships with your spouse, with your children, with your family, with your community. And this is where actual bonds are formed, family flourishes and your palace in the hereafter will be built.

00:52:29 --> 00:52:50

That's where we will get a less and less pleasure by influencing flesh and blood people in your own life, people that you're interacting with making them better. That is how you will become a better person in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. Okay, thank you for your advice. And the final question, my final question, it has to do with human evolution, but at the same time, it actually has to do with epistemology.

00:52:53 --> 00:53:32

Well, I've been in some conversations in which people, you know, I tell them that Adam Alayhis Salam was clearly created by God in a special way. And they say that when when God says that He created the human being from I mean, to wrap from the earth, or maintain from clay, he's talking about the composition. So he's talking about God took elements from the earth, but it's not stating that the human being was created, you know, a search in a miraculous way. And what would you say about this, but my question, actually, is, would you say that this is Kafir? Because I've heard a lot of people say that this is Cofer. And to me, that seems a little bit harsh.

00:53:34 --> 00:53:55

And at the same time, what would you what do you think would be the epistemological problem with that and this is it? No. So I mean, as I have given a much longer series about the creation of Adam, I have spoken about Darwin's theory of evolution and you know, how we reconcile so I have my you know, longer I cannot summarize it in a few minutes. But the Quran

00:53:56 --> 00:54:37

does not tell us how long ago Adam lived. So if somebody says the first human was 100,000 years ago, okay, we don't have a problem with that. It's not a matter of principle about data. The Quran does not tell us the details of the story. However, the Quran gives us some basic things and of them Allah subhanaw taala created Adam directly. Now obviously, when Allah says that he took clay, obviously this means it's one component, right? It doesn't mean that and also, when Allah took clay, Allah said, couldn't fire corn. So whatever the clay transformed into flesh and blood and bones, right, so Allah's couldn't, couldn't means be Allah said Be and it was right. So when Allah says,

00:54:37 --> 00:54:59

Could miracles happen? It's all as origin and the end of the day Allah is the Creator of life. So there's nothing wrong with saying that yes, Allah azza wa jal created Adam from a mixture of clay and water like the Quran says, but everybody acknowledges that after the clay and water, you know was mixed together, the bones came, the blood came that came where did it come from? Allah created it

00:55:00 --> 00:55:42

So there is no rejection of the Quran when you say this. But at the same time, we have to recognize our minds are limited in this regard, and we should not, you know, go too deep. We do not know the realities of how the creation occurred. And neither is Eliza going to test us on that, you know, we simply believe what is important to believe is, all of us come from Adam, and I was the wife of Adam, all of us come from Adam, and Adam spouse, and that Allah subhanaw taala, created Adam, directly, and blessed Adam, and gifted Adam with prophecy, and with so many gifts, and from Adam and Hawa, all human beings today exist, these are what we have to be everything beyond this can be a

00:55:42 --> 00:56:18

theory, no problem, as long as we believe all of mankind descends from Adam and Hawa. And that Allah created Adam, and that from Adam, Allah created however, this is what the Quran says. On the other theory, let the scientists say what they want when either affirm nor do we have to believe from as a theology, anything that is said there. I'm saying because these people what they claim is that Adam had parents, that's the explicit phrase and so we will not believe this, we will not believe this and we will say that we must believe there was a miracle and miracles cannot be proven.

00:56:19 --> 00:56:38

Miracles cannot be proven. Simple as that. Okay. And these are all the questions I had. Thank you very much May Allah reward you for having taken the time I know you're a very busy person, but I have to deal with this was I mean, we were able to materialize this so inshallah maybe in the future

00:56:40 --> 00:56:45

by the time you show up, maybe you'll invite me next time to one of the country's Spanish countries and Charlaine that will be great

00:56:46 --> 00:56:47

in Charlotte because I can look at

00:56:49 --> 00:56:49

when I'm going to live okay

00:56:57 --> 00:56:58


00:56:59 --> 00:57:00


00:57:01 --> 00:57:08

be Ms. Dahiya. Doll seni one tells

00:57:10 --> 00:57:12

me what to feed

00:57:15 --> 00:57:16

the what

00:57:18 --> 00:57:23

feels cool. We took my journey

00:57:25 --> 00:57:26

down to

00:57:28 --> 00:57:30

me down

Share Page

Related Episodes