Ask Shaykh YQ – Episode 33

Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Series:

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

The Shar’i Responsibility in Raising a Special Needs Child

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:19

I have a child who is on the extreme side of the autistic spectrum severely autistic. What should I do islamically in terms of obligations on her it's a female child. I love her immensely I want to go to gender so I want to do my best to make sure that she gets there on

00:00:25--> 00:00:31

in Florida no II know

00:00:36--> 00:01:24

the question we're going to start off with autistic child or let's just make it broader. Any child with special needs any child that is a special needs child intellectually and even physically this will be covered here. First and foremost. Dear mother and dear parents, that Allah subhana wa tada has chosen to gift a special needs child to because it is a gift from Allah azza wa jal realize that with this gift there is also a different type of struggle and a different type of test. And like all of us have specific trials and tests and gifts and blessings. So to a child with special needs. It is a gift and a special type of test. And Allah subhana wa tada gives special tests to special

00:01:24--> 00:02:14

people. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said is a famous Hadith all of you should know it in the law Hata Allah either a hub bakoma Neva tele whom, when Allah loves a group of people, he will give them special tests that Bella the Tila will come for special categories of people. And there is no question that a child that requires more love and more tenderness and more concern and more care for a much longer period than other children. There is no question that this is a special blessing struggle that you have that other people can only imagine can only think about. And our Prophet sallallahu wasallam said Hadith is intimately in Albemarle Jessa ma vomited Bella, that the

00:02:14--> 00:02:53

greatness of the reward comes with the greatness of the struggle. The more was the love of the struggle, the tenderness, the more effort you have to put, the more will be your agenda with Allah subhanho wa Taala. So I remind you, dear sister, and also dear father and mother, all of you and anybody who has any issue in life that they're struggling with, I remind you that Allah says in Nima, you have a sabudana God whom the lady is that every saw that a person alone will give them back their agenda without even counting. So this is going to be the test of your motherly and fatherly love, that you will continue to give most other children after a while, then they become

00:02:53--> 00:03:35

semi independent, then they become dependent, and then they become fully independent, and then we become dependent on them. This is the cycle of life that is the default. But perhaps in some special needs cases, the child will never become fully independent, and the parents will continue to give and give and give. So realize that as you give Allah will give back to you realize that your adjure is dependent upon your own subber and your own Eman and Indeed Allah azza wa jal has only put you in this situation, because Allah knows you can overcome it, and that Allah has chosen to raise your ranks high in Ghana for your efforts, and so put in that effort expecting the reward from Allah

00:03:35--> 00:04:13

subhanho wa Taala. If our professors have reminded us that even a thorn prick will forgive the sins, even the slightest nuisance will forgive since What do you think about having to wake up every single day extra effort for the child having to feed having to do this and that what do you think if a thorn prick is going to bring our Bella and our agenda and agenda? What do you think of love that is shown to another human being to a son or a daughter that has special needs? So realize that Allah azza wa jal has indeed chosen you for something that is a test and a trial at some level, but it is a test in a trial that is meant to increase your Baraka in the Hadith and Mr. deema, Mohammed that

00:04:14--> 00:05:00

the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said whenever Allah tests his servant with something, and he is contented, aldea then Allah subhana wa tada will give him Baraka and increase what he has. And if he is not content, Allah will take away from it even more and will not give him Baraka. Now, I want to say something dear parents who are tested with this issue, I swear to you, you are being tested in one way, yet Allah has blessed you in other ways. This is from the Hadith. If Allah has taken something away from anyone, then Allah will give him something else that he might not even recognize he'll be in his face, but the love that will come or the Rama that will

00:05:00--> 00:05:41

Come for the Sakina that will come or the positive that will come from another aspect of his or her life will be something that is gifted because of the difficulties that they are in. And that's exactly what Allah says, for us to run in numerosity, Yusra, and it is through people like you that we the rest of us who are not tested with these struggles, we see the reality of love and motherly, motherly love and drama. Yesterday we had a guest over those of you that you were here we saw an amazing example of prophetic forgiveness still walking on this earth. We saw something that touched our hearts when the father forgives the murder of his own son for the sake of Allah subhana wa tada

00:05:41--> 00:06:17

what a moving testimony. So Subhana Allah you see these living examples then guess what, dear mother, dear father, you become a role model for your family and friends. They will look at you and they will say Subhanallah look at that person's Eman and taqwa you might not feel you have the amount of tough one, you should not feel that you but others look at you and others will be inspired by your dedication for in ways you don't even know you will become a role model so panela and their good deeds will be given to you and they will also have good deeds. In other words, when you are taken as a role model, right? When somebody does a good deed because of you, Allah will bless the

00:06:17--> 00:06:56

first person and Alo bless you as well that you are the one who inspired that person. So when you become a positive role model through your sober through your patience, you will become somebody who will get deeds without even recognizing and knowing it until Judgment Day. And there are reports in the Hadith that people will be rewarded. And they'll be like, Where did this come from? And it will be because of the effects of their good deeds. So this is the first issue also, by the way, realize that our Prophet sallallahu wasallam showed great kindness to all and he showed especially kindness to children, and to those who work special needs. There is a hadith in Sahih Bahati nsmt Malik

00:06:56--> 00:07:35

narrates there was a lady who was mentally challenged in the life of the Prophet lism. Obviously, every society has people like this, she wasn't normal. And she walked up to the Prophet system, and she said Yasuda law, I have something very important I need to talk with you about there is nothing important. She's not she's not gonna be protecting against an army. It's in her mind. She's mentally challenged, right? And she wants to have a session privately, I want to take you away and I want to have something very important. So our profit and everybody knows she is mentally challenged. Everybody knows. And so Pamela, maybe me or somebody else will be okay, maybe another day, just I

00:07:35--> 00:08:12

have no time. This is the way we are. But he isn't a suitable system, even though there cannot be anything important that she has to ask or say. She said he said to her that Yeah. amatola Oh, lady, servant of Allah. Fine. Where do you want me to talk take me to any place and we will go talk. So she took him to some corner over there. And the NSA, we saw her talking with him until he resolved her issue. And then he came back. So Pinilla This is Rahmatullah alameen. Somebody who has you for sure, whatever she had in her mind, it's something trivial. And I say this and well, I feel guilty that I'm not able to even do a fraction of this, even though I'm saying that it May Allah forgive

00:08:12--> 00:08:48

me, for any shortcomings. And all of us that this was a lady, she didn't even have a genuine need. And she was mentally challenged. So if anybody has an excuse to say, Who has time for you, I have to solve the problems of the oma. It should be our profits, a little less than him. But he said, Yeah, I'm at a law. Where do you want to have a conversation take me and she takes me anywhere. She took him to that corner Street and I said that in the soccer club, Medina, just another alleyway. And she whatever the issue was, whatever in her mind and the process some spoke with her, and then came back some panela. So the mercy and compassion and tenderness should be there. Now. Your question, dear

00:08:48--> 00:09:23

mother was one that really touched me? That's panela. Honestly, the email was so beautiful. You did not complain. You did not say why am I tested it with this? Rather, you said I love my daughter. I want her to go to Jen, what a motherly love is this this upon Allah, I want to make sure that I'm doing everything that she's not, you know, the question was more detailed, but prayer and whatnot, and she's an autistic child. So obviously understand that, you know, it's not going to be the same thing here. So she's worried that the child is not necessarily fulfilling all of the obligations. I don't did not know the age of the child, but I'm assuming that maybe 14 1516 because she's worried

00:09:23--> 00:09:59

that the child is not doing the regular things of Islam. So the mother is saying, What is my responsibility to this child? So to answer this part of the question, I say to you, that in our Shetty, Allah is indeed our hammer rahimian. What are your colorful long enough son Illa. We saw her and realize that by unanimous consensus of all the scholars of Islam, the one who is mentally incapable, the one who is mentally challenged, the obligations are lifted from them, the one who is not able to think critically at all has zero obligations. And this is unanimous consensus reported in Abu Dhabi. The professor said, I'm said

00:10:00--> 00:10:39

rothfeld column one fella, three people, the column has been lifted from meaning no hisab, no adapt, no, nothing will happen to them. The column has been lifted from them. Number one, the one who is asleep. Whatever he does in the sleep, he's not sinful if he falls down and accidentally, you know, whatever it says. Number two, the severe the child accidentally the child might flip a button, something happens, the child is forgiven. And number three, the Majnoon The one who doesn't have alcohol until he gets his alcohol back. So there is no responsibility on the image known in Arabic is no tech leaf is the term that grief is legal burden or legal responsibility. And in the famous

00:10:39--> 00:11:16

incident of the one who committed Zina and confessed to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, so the Prophet system wants to get rid of him because he didn't want to punish him wants to forgive him wants to be good. So he asked him a series of questions. And one of the questions he asked him, he asked somebody else is this man known to be much known? Meaning if he was known to be much noon, then I have nothing to do if he drank if he did something that's not my business, let him go away. So he asked Is he known to be crazy as a mentally incapable, which means that the problem has been lifted from him if he was mentally incapable. And as for the issue of the ACA, as well, even hasm

00:11:16--> 00:11:56

says, in his official, even hasm says, As for the Majnoon, who cannot think rationally until they pass away, then they shall be like children following the parents religion, they should be like children who follow the religion of the parents. So if their parents were believers, then they will be considered believers. And they will die in a state of Eman, and they will be of the people of gender. So this is the position of Heaven has admitted as a logical one as well, that is not their responsibility to be thinking of this way. Now, you are asking to what level of responsibility and I say nobody can answer this other than you realize, the more the child or the young man or girl is

00:11:56--> 00:12:36

able to think the more tech leaf comes on them. And the less they're able to think rationally, the less tech leaf is on them. So it's inversely proportional, the more rational they are sorry, but not directly proportional, the more the able to think the more responsibility comes only you know, does your son or daughter understand the time does your son or daughter understand that how to break and make will do what breaks will do you only understand, and there are autistic, you know, people that maybe they cannot communicate properly, but they're super geniuses other than this, and they can understand everything, but they have a problem communicating. And so they can pray, and they can

00:12:36--> 00:13:14

fast, and they can do will do, but they're socially awkward. They don't, they don't, they don't know how to speak the way we are accustomed to speaking. And then there are those on the more, you know, extreme side that they cannot think rationally the way they are, maybe they are 15 years younger, intellectually. So instead of being 30, they're 15, or whatever it is, nobody knows other than you. And therefore, you be the judge in this regard, and err on the side of mercy and caution. err on the side of mercy and caution, and you're allowed to test them that okay, is it time for Salah yet or not see if they understand or not. And if they're able to, if they are intellectually able to

00:13:14--> 00:13:49

understand the time and they're able to do the Salah, then you encourage them without being harsh, because at the end of the day, their framework is different than ours, and their understanding is different than ours. So now you can live for long enough scintilla was Aha. I'm not saying let go completely. But also I'm definitely saying don't treat them with any degree of harshness or strictness. Treat them the way that Allah azza wa jal will want them to be treated with witches with Rama and mercy and Allah azza wa jal will reward you for all that you have done and you will get the agenda for this. So this is the first issue I cannot answer it explicitly, simply because nobody

00:13:49--> 00:13:54

knows to what level of belief other than you, but err on the side of caution.

00:14:01--> 00:14:03

In a feed dounia Salomon

00:14:11--> 00:14:13

Leah hottie Gemma