Rulings For Women In Mourning

Umm Jamaal ud-Din


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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam. ala rasulillah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa.

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Salaam wa Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh shama who can speak about today

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is regarding the mourning periods. And this is something that relates particularly to women. Okay, so there's some particular warnings we need to be aware of a lot of sisters are not aware of these warnings, it's very important we understand about them. So first of all, when we're speaking about the mourning periods, in Islam,

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it's a time where, you know, if it's defined, the meaning is that defined in the religion is it's for the woman to refrain from doing anything that might lead to her getting married. So the mourning period is a time in which a woman refrains from doing certain things, in order to avoid, you know, attracting attention to herself.

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You know, it's out of also honoring the husband, you know, I've you know, honoring the sanctity of the marriage contract. And so she should avoid doing anything that could lead also to to marriage. And so we're going to talk about some of the things we need to avoid in this mourning period. Now, just to mention here that the mourning

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mourning was something that was well known in the G league before Islam, they used to, you know, women would a woman would mourn for her husband. But the difference is, as mentioned by Zainab bint Abby salema salema. The difference is that, what they used to do as mentioned in Sahih al Bukhari, that a woman when her husband passed away, would enter a small house. And you know, she would wear the worst of clothes, and she wouldn't wash or clean herself the whole time. And just food and drink would be brought to her.

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Okay, so she stayed there for a whole year. That's that that's the way she would mourn. And so obviously, can you imagine the smell as well, it, you know, somehow that was the way that they would, you know, do that morning and you know, that in some cultures, like with the Hindus, it's even highly recommended that a woman men protect us burns herself The day after her husband passes away. Yeah, that that they should shut throw them, isn't it? They should throw themselves in a fire. That's like the highest, you know, honor that she's reached that she did that for her husband, Islam made the ADA. Okay, the morning that, you know, the waiting period and the morning for the woman to

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be only four months and 10 days, four months and 10 days now, we're going to talk about this in more detail. But for the woman who's pregnant if her husband passes away, her waiting period is only until she gives birth. All right, so once she gives birth, that's it her her waiting periods over.

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so to mention here, it's very important to mention here that the mourning period for the woman for her husband is actually a wedgie. It's actually an obligation and she doesn't do it. It's actually a sin for her not to do that. All right. Now a little diner says and says Baqarah verse 234. When Latina youtuber phone and income were the una as well, a terrible snobby and fusina a robot out of barter, asuran y SRA, right? So those of you who

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How can I say to you, those of you who you know, that you pass away, and you leave behind you,

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you leave behind you wipes, then they have to wait. They do a waiting period.

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for themselves, they do a waiting period of four months and 10 days. This is the this is the area that shows us that a woman wants her husband passes away, her waiting period is four months and 10 days.

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And previously it used to be a year. There's another idea instead of Baccarat which which was abrogated, that it used to be for hoagie this waiting period. Okay, so just to mention, like I said to you, so during this time, which I said is where dude for who to observe, she's not allowed to. She's not allowed to adorn herself in any way. And I'm going to speak about that in a minute. But I just wanted to also speak about what is the hikma behind observing this mourning period? What is the wisdom behind it?

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So there's a number of reasons that's been mentioned, for why the woman observes this mourning period. Part of it is obviously like the same thing. When you do the ad for a bollock the idea for divorce, that it's to show that you know, to make sure that the womb is free of pregnancy, but

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I mean, there are some there are some cases where a woman might have to only observe an ADA of one menstrual period one menstrual cycle. So, I mean to find out whether the womb is free of,

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of, you know, pregnancy can be done without doing the four months in 10 days. So, the more correct opinion one of them is mentioned by shefali slam even Tamia Rahim Allah, He said that the aid of warfare, like the aid of

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when someone like her husbands passed away,

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is out of honoring and sanctifying the end of the marriage and taking care of the rights of the husband. All right, so. So it's out of, you know, sanctifying, that contract that has a status and value like and also, you know, like having the blessing of a husband. That's one thing, but you see, there's something else I have to mention here. Even if a woman I'm going to come and talk about that even if a woman only had done her marriage contract, she hasn't even consummated with her husband yet. She still has to do this. She still has to do this mourning period. So it's also an activity. Bader

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it's also an activity. Bader, Allah is asking us to do this. So obviously, you're not going to have much commitment to a husband that you haven't even lived with him yet, you haven't even been alone with him, you don't try and say, but still, you have to do this. You still have to observe this waiting period. Okay, so that shows you it's not just, it's not just about sanctifying, the marriage contract, it's also about, it's an activity badge that allows us to do and also besides that, if you think about it, there's a lot of wisdoms behind it because it's a time of reflection and a time to be quiet in your life. Right. And so, if you think about a woman's emotional needs, there's a

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there's a great deal of wisdom in it, because it makes you realize that to calm down you reflect on your life and women have got different very different with different makeup than men.

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So this is this is in relation to that, that you know, the hikma behind why we do this, why we do this morning. Now, even more analyze from the handily scholars, he says, What is this Yani he defines it, it consists of abstinence from finery perfume, God applied to the eyes, as well as from wearing garments that are dyed to create a beautiful impression. And I'm going to go through each of these right so this is based on the statement of the words of the prophets that a lot of what he was sent him in which he says layyah Hello, Lee in the immoral sin, to me no biLlahi well, yo, mill FET. And to hit de la ma, it's in focus lf the left de la la la Illa. Allah Doge out obata as routine

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wash Ra. So it's not allowed for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to do to do a mourning over anyone for more than three days or three nights like altogether, except for her husband, which is four months and 10 days.

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So what this shows is that from the Rama Bala he has allowed for a woman, if her father passes away, her mother passes away her son, but you know, besides the husband, or you know, anyone that she loved, she's allowed to also do this morning. Which, you know, like, we're going to see how is that done?

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But this is not allowed for men. This is a concession for women. Okay, so if you don't have to do this for anyone other than the husband, but you can choose to do it, where you don't wear adorned clothes for three days, you know, you don't wear perfume, you don't put makeup on, as we're gonna see. So you can do this, if you want to show your morning in your action, you understand, but for the husband is wedging.

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Okay, so like I said, it's not allowed for the man to do this. And this is not for men at all, at all. Not even for three days. Okay, but you of course, you can cry for more than three days, right? A lot. People think you can only cry for three days and somehow he's supposed to emotionally turn off your emotions and you can't cry anymore. No, it doesn't mean that it's talking about the actual act of mourning. Okay, it's what people do not understand is how deep

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we'll go through these different things we can like that we need to observe. Okay, so number one, with the Pete put these two together. So there's the adornment of the body and the adornment of the dress.

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Okay, so how is that let's talk about some of the things we're talking about adorning the body for example. She cannot die. She cannot use henna. She cannot put her on her hands. She could not die.

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Hey, she's not allowed to do anything that like beautifies or adorns the body in any way. Like, of course you can do your, you know, your sort of factory away you know, remove the, the sooner hair that you remove, right you're allowed to do that, but we're talking about like dyeing your hair, you know in any type of beautification.

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So and this is based on a hadith of on selama where the prophets that along when it was sent him he said that the woman whose husband has died should not wear clothes died from or died with saffron or red dye nor jewelry. No apply henna to their hair, not apply call that a Sahih Hadith in Abu Dawood. So that's the first thing so when it comes to even perming your hair, you shouldn't do any of that stuff. You wouldn't go get your hair straightened, you wouldn't do any of that stuff. You could trim it just because for a neat, but in general you don't go get a haircut, you know, you don't you don't do like, I mean a proper haircut. I mean, a special stylish haircut. That's what I'm trying to say.

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You just trim the necessary what you have to do, but you understand you're supposed to do beautification, you understand systems. So it's talking about using dyes, you know, anything like that? No. All right, number two, so, so, okay, so that's the first thing then number two, the adornment.

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Also, like for example, like God, right, so she shouldn't wear eyeliner. And just to demonstrate this, and that's mentioned in the previous Hadith, which I just mentioned, but also

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besides that, it was read it in Al Bukhari and Muslim in a hadith of Omar Salah that a woman came to the Prophet sort of La Jolla sentiment said, yo, da, sudo LA. Verily, my daughter's has been has died. And she has a sickness in her eye. So May she apply? God?

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And so he said, No, two or three times. All right, but in another iteration of, um, selama, that she played some good in her ilok she played some God in her eye, and after about selama had passed away. So the prophets that Allah has them said, What is this, Elena? So she said, it's a dye that isn't for adorning. And so he told her that it adorns the face like Oh, hell, it dawns the face. So I put it on at night, but wipe, wipe it off during the day like and that's for medicinal purposes. Only for medicinal purposes, like these days, we have eyedrops and things like that, but they used to go home, you know, to only if you had to use it for medicinal purposes, then it'll be okay. All right.

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So what we can see here is that eyeliner would only be allowed in a case of necessity.

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But not all the time at only at night as well. If you had to do it. Now including that obviously, it's a type of makeup, a type of makeup, powder, blush, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, you get the ID, okay? It just all goes together.

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Okay, so that's talking about the adornment of the body. Okay, now we come to the adornment of the dress. She needs to abstain from anything that that comes under adorning the dress, so she shouldn't wear. She shouldn't wear anything that's like dyed. Now what I mean by that is obviously most of our clothing is dyed. Right? So what I'm talking about here is it should be plain clothing. And that's according to our rules. Which means the customs, what would you normally think is a plain looking dress? Gee, I'm trying to say, look, you know, whatever is considered to be a plain looking dress, that's what you can wear, but not like wearing colors like yellow, red, like generally when we see

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when we see red and yellow, it's normally like Xena, it's normally like adornment for the woman, or pink. Don't try and say so you need to stick to the very like humble colors, you could say. Alright, so that's, that's another point.

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Then the other thing is that she needs to refrain from using perfume.

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Now, when we say that, it means of course you don't not put any deodorant on. Okay?

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We have to explain this. But what it means is, you you know you use like obviously low scent, you don't go put on somebody that's got a strong odor. And it's very similar like I'll come and talk about that but it's very similar to when you go to Hajj or Umrah you know when you need Iran you shouldn't be using

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those perfumes you know, you can't use perfume when you go for Iran. Right? So

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if you can think about where you're going to use a low scent type of

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deodorant that that that will be okay inshallah.

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yeah, there is a there is actually a narration that in which the Prophet sallallahu wasallam mentioned that she doesn't apply perfume like she doesn't apply perfume and that's in Sahih al Bukhari and Muslim so that's what we know. However it is, there is an exception. An exception to you know, for example, when a woman needs to purify itself after having made

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sees for example, like they used to use for example bit of misc or they used to use, like a light centered, I shouldn't say Miss because miskell probably be too strong, but like, they had a light center type of incense. It's called elicos.

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Okay, and

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this is got healing properties, like it's got, like anaesthetic type of properties. So this would be allowed as a, would you call that? An exception? Because you know, you need to get rid of that bad smell, you know what I mean? So what we can in this time, what how do we work that out? Like, you can use shampoos, or soaps that, for example, almond made of amens.

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Similar to the types of shampoo and

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the shampoos and the soaps you can use when you're in Iran. When you're in Iran, you can't use any soap or, you know, shampoo that that has any type of flowery floral sense. Okay, so you have to, you have to, you have to avoid that when you're in this period of mourning. Okay, but you could use like I said, an almond meal. So no problem. All right, because every type of sin, so we got it, we got to find what kind of scent we're talking about.

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All right.

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So you get the idea. And you be careful. Also another I just thought of another thing, like, when you wash your clothes, you wouldn't want to put the strong

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because you forget to wear them.

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Okay, like the fabric softener that's going to be in your clothes because you're not supposed to put perfume on when you're in the morning. Okay, but just to mention something here. It's all right for you to put incense in your house like you don't have to just because you're doing that with your body and all that there's nothing wrong with you putting on knife to make your house nice. You know, there's nothing wrong with you putting nice curtains putting on like nice incense in your house. Like Jenna Stan, you can make your house nice, you don't have to feel like totally depressed in your house or anything like that. Okay, it's just about your own self. Not to to do these things. Okay,

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then the other thing The fourth thing is it's not allowed for her to wear jewelry. Okay, she's not gonna wear jewelry.

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And actually, even on one day and mentioned there's an edge mount on this isn't consensus of scholars. It's not allowed for her to wear jewelry. And that's true to the statement of the profit sort of loan when it's I mean, the hadith of on selama that mentions no jewelry. Because jewelry, why? Because that's from the obvious adornment of the woman. And so therefore, she has to refrain from doing that when she she's in her morning. Okay, so if she was wearing wearing jewelry when her husband passes away, then what she needs to do just say she's wearing earrings, or she's wearing bracelets or ring anything she takes it off. Analog takes it off. Yeah.

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It doesn't matter. That this is, as I said, you're doing this for a law. Okay, so you don't worry about see people say you will not and people might see you because I'm going to talk about that you might have to go out of your house and do things. A lot of people think if the state knows, sometimes you have to go out. Okay.

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So that's, that's this is the ruling and whether you're out by yourself or you're with other people, this is how you're going to be. You don't go to even sleep with beautiful pajamas. You were playing clouds. You understand this is how you are like you're observing this is an observance that you're doing.

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Parents, it's not just about people, this is a state like you can't just go to bed like everyone goes and you go put on this beautiful perfume at night. No, you understand? now.

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Okay, um,

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now also from what is binding upon the woman after husband dice, and I'm gonna talk about this a bit more but so she needs to stay in the house in which her husband like her husband's house, like whatever has whatever house she was in with her husband when he passed away. Then she needs to stay in that house.

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And even you know, she should if she heard the news, her husband passed away she should go back and stay in her house. She should go back and stay in the house and observe her a duck. In her in her husband's house.

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There was a woman Her name was

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beans Malik when her husband was was killed. She went to the prophet SAW a lot of cinnamon she she told him that her husband had been killed, but he hadn't left any house that he owns nor any money. So she asked permission to return to her family and has observed her

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with her family. So the profits that Arthur initially he gave her permission but then when she started to walk away,

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he said What did you say that he asked you to come back and then he said remain in your health until you reach the appointed until the appointed time is completed. So she observed her for months and 10

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dies. And after that Earth man, even our fan he used to even sent to ask about that. Because to get the knowledge of that, about what is the ruling for the woman in such a case? Okay, so he she was like a resource that that the Sahaba used to use after the time of the Prophet sort of virus in him.

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So the LMS guide is headed as a proof that the woman in mourning must remain in the house of her husband, as long as that is possible. Okay, so she needs this is what you need to do, as long as it's obviously possible. As long as that house

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is owned by the husband, or even if it was rented by him and she's able to pay the rent, she should, she should stay in the house. And the community or co family should help her to stay there, the community, whatever, because that's what she's supposed to stay.

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Alright. Okay, now I'm going to go through some of the things

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that, you know, also relate to this.

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So let's talk about some of the things we also need to look at when it comes to what we can't do when we're in the state of mourning. One thing is, it's definitely not allowed to

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do a marriage contract.

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And you might think, oh, anybody would know that, trust me, there's been some women who were even in the ADA from their husband, which was

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a revocable divorce, as in, he can take it back. And she still went and did a marriage contract with someone else. She hasn't even finished it from your husband that can still take you back. You know, normally, if you you know what I'm trying to say like you're in the divorce period, and you're supposed to be living together. But these days, a lot of women just golf and live with their family instead of staying with their husband. And that's, that's Kotori vocable divorce, like he can take it back any time during that waiting period, but some of them go and do marriage contracts, which is totally wrong. You can't it's not it's not even a valid contract. Okay. But the point is, when a

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woman is in her state of mourning, she's not allowed to get married, she cannot contract a marriage with anyone during this time.

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and not even engagement. Not even engagement. Okay, but the only thing

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that is allowed is just in the case of a woman who she's in her mourning for her husband passing away and men can

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and then can subtly imply that he's interested in her for when the mourning period is over. But he's not allowed to say explicitly, but I mean, he can give her a hint that he might be you know, might be might be interested. Okay.

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So allow Allah in the Quran, he says, well, Arjuna alaikum faema out to me he means to bobbin means Tito bateen Nisa, no harm on you, for what you

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make subtly aware that you'd be interested in maybe marrying her after she's finished her a dump it for not for every adult for this idea of mourning.

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Okay, so he saw that but differently, no way. Can she get married or do a get engaged? She can't he can't ask who would you marry me? And she says yes, but we have to wait, no, that's how long. Okay. Okay, now let's talk about going out of the house, because this is something that we need to understand.

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So in general,

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in general, she needs to stick to her house during the eight day period for alpha. She needs to be sticking to her house. She shouldn't, like go out unnecessarily. All right. But when I say that, like Sonia, she needs to go to the doctor. She can go to the doctor, she needs to go to the hospital she needs. It doesn't have to be an assist doesn't have to be like, what's the word? a compelling necessity? It's not like a life or death necessity that you need to go out. No, it's just your needs. All right, you need to go out like there's no one to bring you food. You go out, there's no one to you need to pay the rent. There's no one to pay to rent, you need to go out you got a job.

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You need to go to it. You go to the job yet. Because actually, there was um,

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there was there's I mentioned that there was a case in the time of the profits that are long what he was selling.

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It was actually jabbered bin Abdullah like he said that his Auntie

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she was irrevocably divorced. And then she went out.

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She went out to

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her date pants to work, you know, to make a living. And one man saw her and told her what are you doing, you know, you're supposed to in your dog go back in your house.

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And so she she said, you know,

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she said, you know, she

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She needed to she needed to do that because she needs to earn a living. So she they asked the Prophet sallallahu Sallam about that, and the prophets sort of life and told her go, he told her go out, and you know, do what you know,

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was the word.

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You know, work with your date pumps.

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And then because perhaps you may be able to do for the car from that,

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or do something with that income. So he allowed her because she's, she's got a need, she needs to support herself. So that's why you know, people can't tell you don't do this. And don't do that. Who's that? Okay, you don't want to do that. come and spend on my house, my house, then. You don't want me to you don't want me to go to my job. You don't want me to go to the shops? Where are you bringing the food to my door? Where are you paying my rent, you know, if we have enough support, fine, we'll be happy to stay in our house. But if we don't have that, it's hard. It is proof that you don't, you know, if you need to go out, you're allowed to because you need to go around for your

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needs. But just do it observe the other things I told you about the way you dress and all those things. Okay.

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So, that's how we can understand and another thing I want to mention here as well.

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So, because you know, you get these like so a woman if she, she can go even if she needs comfort, because I get often asked this question, just say she wants to go to her family's house or another sister's house because she's very depressed or something like that. She's allowed to go and talk with her sisters, you know, of course, you know, in a suit, you know, not not with virtually no men there or something like that. But you know what I mean, to get comfort and you know, talk to a family for example, there's no like non Muslims there. She's she shouldn't be exposed to non Muslims because we said the whole idea is to keep quiet, right?

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Okay, so it's allowed her to do that, but she must come and spend the night at home. And how we know this is because they were some of the women

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who their husbands had passed away.

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And this is mentioned by Mujahid. He's one of the tabea in

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the 80s. In NSA, he would wear some of the men were martyred in the Battle of Oh, hood.

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And so some of the women came to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. And they said to him, Yasser Allah, you know, we feel lonely at night.

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And, and so what we do is, you know, he, they said, Can we stay with each other to keep each other company because all of our husbands have passed away, you know?

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So, then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told them, you know, speak with each other, until you feel tired. But when one of you wants to go to sleep, you go back to your home and you sleep, you sleep, you sleep the night in your house. Okay, so that's what we know how to do. But in general, like the woman's you know, she shouldn't be the morning woman should not be like outside at night or something like that. You understand, it's not right to be out, like, you need to go out and today, fine, you've got some needs you need to fulfill. But at night, this should be in your house in your home. But like I said, Just say you need to comfort or something like that, then there's nothing

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wrong with you, you know, going and talking, you know, getting some comfort with someone.

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Because we sometimes go to extremes with these things like that date the poor woman, she's already lost her husband, and then everyone just makes it, like, even worse and harder. Um, can we just sorry, if you don't mind, I'm really sorry. It's just I'm really worried about not finishing everything.

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Okay, so you get the idea that she needs to bitch needs to spend the night in her home, she shouldn't go off and stay anywhere else, which is what we find a loophole doing these things. The other thing is

00:28:42--> 00:29:20

she's not entitled to be spent on after that, like once the husband's passed away, she's not actually entitled to be spent on that usually, once the, you know, once the husband's passed away, like the relatives because she needs to stay, she needs to stay in the house. So they allow her to you know, to stay in the house depends on everyone. Everyone's situation is different. Like nefa You know, when you married your husband supposed to spend on you from his income. But once he passes away, you're not entitled to you're not entitled to just to take from his spending. You're not supposed to take from his spending, you know, I mean, but you obviously get inheritance, you get

00:29:20--> 00:29:33

inheritance. So that's why another reason why woman's allowed to go out she's allowed to go out to earn her income if she needs because who's gonna pay for the rent? You know, I mean, there's you've got people like somebody wants to live in a house, they go family that can support them in those things.

00:29:34--> 00:29:38

Okay. Now, just to mention here, how do you count how do you count your

00:29:41--> 00:30:00

How do you count your your ID as far as the month because now Look, that's the difference between the default and welfare in relation to the a default, blah, blah, blah, you do it. If you've got menstruation, you can't buy menstrual cycles. But with this one with this idea, you don't it's got nothing to do with menstrual cycles. It's only got to do with

00:30:00--> 00:30:39

With four months and 10 days, so if the husband died at the beginning of a lunar month, because we count by lunar month, right, then what we do in a month is 21, just that month happened to be 29 days, that's considered as a month in that case, but if he died in the middle of the month, so it was a 15th. chabanne, for example, she counts as 30 days, so she counts 30 days, you know, 30, you know, 15th of chabanne to 15th of Ramadan, like that she counts like that, and sushi, and sushi counts the, the full four month, and 10 days. Now, if she was pregnant,

00:30:40--> 00:30:42

and her husband passed away,

00:30:44--> 00:30:47

and her husband passed away, just get some kind of look.

00:30:49--> 00:31:08

Then like I told you, her ADA is only until she gives birth. And even if that was one hour later, even if that was one hour later, that's her a duck. They even some scholars said, even if she gave birth while he was still in the washroom

00:31:09--> 00:31:20

that's the end of her Ada in that in that case. And that the proof of that is allowed. Allah says, What Allah to Mali, Agia Luna, a Ghana hamlen.

00:31:21--> 00:31:51

Okay, those who have pregnancies, their time is until they give birth to their baby. Now, an important thing to talk about here is what what defines what is a baby, because you can't just say I had a miscarriage at like six weeks, and therefore I finished my No, we need to be sure about that. So what defines the baby or what consumers like that you've given birth is that

00:31:53--> 00:32:32

you give birth to something that you give birth to, like a fetus that has the signs of a human being like it should have legs, arms formation, that you can say that like, and that would be only really, but at least over 90 days, if not more, at least over 90 days. So if it's between 90 and 100 days, you really should look at it and see if it has formation. Because if it doesn't, then you can't, you can't consider that that your ad is over. Okay, that's that's the main things I want to speak about, with relation to what you can't do, or need to pay attention to. And also

00:32:35--> 00:32:41

what to do if what to do if like, you happen to be pregnant when that happens.

00:32:44--> 00:33:12

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with a woman, nothing wrong with the woman, for example, having gatherings in her house with her sisters, you know, having visitors to come over and see her but again, it should be not shouldn't be non Muslims. I mean, we're not supposed to mix with non Muslim men anyway. But especially when she's in mourning, she should have been mixing because that's what's the difference between that and going out in the street? Yes. So I think I think you can ask questions. I think I've gone through everything, what we're going to mainly speak about and like I said, as well, I did mention that if you've done the contract that used to have to observe this.

00:33:13--> 00:33:15

Yes, ask your questions, inshallah.

00:33:17--> 00:33:52

As soon as he dies, if that's from then, even if she didn't know, even if she did not know, pattern, no, no, no, of course, you can come for her, you know, she can come to the mosque and pray for him and those things. Like, yeah, it's necessary. Like, look, it's, as I said to you, let's just make that very clear. You're allowed to go out for your needs. It's not a type thing where it can only be absolute necessity, like absolute necessity is like, you're going to rush to the with the ambulance to the doctor, it's not to that level. Okay? So when you go to need, you need to go out you just for whatever that reason is, it's just a need. It's not like just like, let's go hang around the shops.

00:33:53--> 00:33:56

Let's go have Gloria Jane's like, you know, coffee, parent.

00:33:58--> 00:34:02

Yeah. So let's, yeah. Okay.

00:34:03--> 00:34:17

So look, this is what it is. First of all, I just wanna mention something just mentioned was very important. From the moment you he passes away. The eight day starts from that evening, she didn't know so she didn't find out till four months and 10 days later, it's her it is over.

00:34:19--> 00:34:38

Okay, just so you understand. So it doesn't it's not from the time you hear it that you have to count for months in 10 days from that, it's important for you to know that. Okay. But as for just say, you're overseas, you should return if you're able to not, you know, as much as possible, you should go back to your husband's home and observe your day in your husband's home. That's the whole point.

00:34:43--> 00:34:44

Doesn't matter.

00:34:45--> 00:35:00

Even if you're 180. Doesn't matter. This is not only related to being pregnant, it's an act of worship, or you missed the beginning. Did you miss the beginning of the talk? Okay. Remember, it's an act of worship. It's a number of things.

00:35:00--> 00:35:17

As an act of worship, it's out of honoring the sanctity of the marital contract that, you know, a way of showing that you are grateful for the blessing of marriage. And it's a whole lot of different things. Depending on the situation, it's it could be the combination of all those things. Or if someone didn't have a very happy marriage, it's still an act of worship.

00:35:18--> 00:35:19


00:35:21--> 00:35:25

All the money that belongs to you has been is part of inheritance. That's why

00:35:27--> 00:35:29

That's right. That's right. ie put your own money.

00:35:31--> 00:35:54

You've got a family that supports you like that's where family like, see in Islam, it's not just upon the husband to support his wife. If a woman doesn't have a husband, then it now goes to the males in the family, right? father, brother, Jonathan son, like, especially the males, it's much more responsibility but if not, then it's called us. Yeah, you go get a job.

00:35:55--> 00:35:56

You gotta get work.

00:35:58--> 00:36:17

Yeah, though, I just said to you, you're allowed to go out to work, you're allowed to go out, you could work in your home. Or you could go out to work if you have to. That's in a desperate situation by Sharla. Like, usually, you know, people you find come together a log is risk. Not only that, sometimes, you know, you might find your husband passes away. The community comes together, they bring money over Yani up.

00:36:20--> 00:36:20


00:36:23--> 00:36:26

They see what I'm trying to say. You student trying to say.

00:36:27--> 00:37:05

Yeah, that's right. That's right. And this is why sisters will lie. This is why this is part of the blessing of always staying with the community. When you always stay with the community. You're gonna you get such blessings from that. Well, lucky I have seen so many blessings in my home and in my family, or because of a handler always staying with the Jamal of the Muslims. You know, don't just go off and live somewhere far away No one knows anything about you and you don't mix with the community no one getting don't do that. You understand if you're always praying with the Muslims fasting with the Muslims taraweeh lessons people know about us the panel law Yani and you'll find

00:37:05--> 00:37:08

you'll find in beer, you know, inshallah young says sisters.

00:37:13--> 00:37:50

That's right. You can't stay because like I said, the reason you got to understand is that will that belongs to your husband is now not his wealth anymore. It belongs to his inheritance. That's why, okay, so you're taking from the hug of someone else. Now, it's not just like, of course, you're gonna have inheritance, but you need to get divided, you'll get your division, maybe you can spend from the inheritance, that that part of that inheritance, you can most likely spend on your rent for the next few months. Okay? And do you find that don't worry alone does that, you know, oh, look after you, you understand. But also, I want to just add, which is important. And this is something

00:37:50--> 00:38:28

we've been, I've been discussing with some other, you know, female teachers, that we as women should not be so dependent on our husbands, we should be looking for means to earn our own incomes. You understand? Like, it's fine to rely on your husband for income, but you should have a long term ideas about how you're going to support yourself because things can go wrong. I advise everyone go get an education or go learn a skill that you can do to earn money. There's like this is something encouraging Islam anyway, like, even the wives of the Prophet many of them had they used to actually make things with their hands and sell it and earn money. Because not only that you can do sadhaka

00:38:28--> 00:38:41

from your money, that's the search higher that you can do, you know, invest your money sisters as well, like, don't just, you know, get the idea that, Oh, we don't have anything to do with money. No. Okay. So think about ways that you can earn money and make money.

00:38:45--> 00:39:19

There's nothing wrong with a woman, especially working in her house. And if her husband allows her, there's nothing wrong with it. And if she wrote on her contract, he can't stop her. If she wrote on her contract that I want to work when I get married, he can't stop her according to like, especially like the handling scholars, they say that that is a condition he must abide by. Okay, so, um, so yeah, they've agreed upon that before marriage. If not, you know, she can negotiate. If a husband allows her to a work she can work as long as as long as he's, you know, he allows her to do that. It's nothing wrong with it.

00:39:21--> 00:39:22


00:39:27--> 00:39:43

Yep, that's it. If you need to, if you need to, if you need to, don't do it if you don't need to, but if you find out Wait, I have to pay the rent go. Or if you scared that you might run out of money, but before the end date dark, go start applying for jobs. You know?

00:39:47--> 00:39:47


00:39:50--> 00:39:59

No, don't say that. Sisters Don't say no. You can't take any of his money unless he's gifted it to you. If he says that, okay, I have gifts this way.

00:40:00--> 00:40:02

For you to use when

00:40:04--> 00:40:25

you can't do that you actually can't do that. You can't do that. He can't give it to you when he's alive. He can give you as a gift now that you've got your Mahara as well what he owes you a Maha, he might owe you a Maha. You that will be also another thing like you have a car right? You might have a heart that's yours. So that could be used to that could be used to support yourself.

00:40:28--> 00:40:36

Look, whatever money he saves, and he hasn't passed it over to you that now belongs to the inheritors, all that money that he only

00:40:37--> 00:41:07

saving this money for my wife. Okay, let me explain something you need to understand something we're not allowed to give was CEA, which that's which talking about that we'll see up to any inheritor. So you can't even you can't even do that for your mom, your dad No, because they have a natural like Allah has stipulated a fixed share of inheritance for them. So anyone who has a fixed share of inheritance is not allowed to do what's easier for them, we'll see is only for those who do not inherit naturally. That's why you cannot do that.

00:41:09--> 00:41:23

That is your day. So that before the debate inheritance can be divided yet before the inheritance is divided. That is yours and I wouldn't I'm sorry, I wouldn't forgive that because you need it. Okay.