How Are You Coping

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Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din

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Episode Transcript

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Salam Alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuh My dear sisters and brothers, I pray, you're all safe and well, you and your loved ones in sha Allah and I asked a lot of data that he makes this time easy for everyone in sha Allah.

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So panel, this has not been an easy time, for most of us, you know, within weeks, most of us have had our whole lives, suddenly, you know, change completely around. And on top of that, you know, as part of our day after day, being exposed to the scenes of the suffering of others mail or leave everyone from amongst this oma and all of the innocent from amongst this world.

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And especially if you're a person who has a lot of empathy, then all that is going to have quite an a big emotional toll on you over time.

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So what I wanted to do today is basically, you know, share a few things that I've personally been doing, that's helped me Not that I'm any expert in, you know, coping with their pandemic, but and handling law, you know, I've gone through a few tests in my life that have actually taught me some skills that I've been able to use

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to cope with this particular test that we're going through. So I just want to share this, maybe it can help someone out there inshallah.

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So first of all, one of the things I, I tried to do from the beginning was to try to try to reestablish my normal routine,

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we all know, our routines got completely knocked out of place. So as much as possible, I tried to, you know, continue my same old routine, but obviously, having to do a lot of adjustments.

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You know, I normally teach outside, so I had to try to shift all my classes, you know, online,

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I used to work out of the gym, so I had to, you know, shift my exercise to a different type of program.

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And then the other thing, too, was going into what I call survival mode. You know, that's something I learned many years ago, when, you know, I was living in Saudi and I was basically pretty much isolated over there, I couldn't get out very often, hardly got to see people many days. And then on top of that, I ended up having twins. So apparently, you can imagine what happens when you go in that sort of, you're in that sort of situation, I basically went into survival mode.

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And so when you go into survival mode, you know, what is what is it you know, you basically, cut out anything extra that is going to place an unnecessary burden on you. And just, you know, really focus on what you really need to do right now to cope.

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And you got to think to yourself, this is a pandemic that we're going through, and

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you're not, you shouldn't be expected to do the impossible. Now, don't put such you know, heavy burdens on yourself. That's what tends to, you know, really elevate, elevate our stress levels, when we keep on saying that I should do this. And I should do that.

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You know, I see this happening a lot with some of my students, you know, like they really overburdening themselves with the children's homework. And unfortunately, some of the schools are placing, really, you know, unreasonable demands on the amount of homework they're expecting, at the end of the day, just keep in mind that, you know, what kids really need the most from all of that is just if they read some books improve their English. And on top of that,

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you know, their maths, they the most important, core subjects that they they really need they can't do without. And the other thing is, it's really important that you do manage your, you know, stress and anxiety levels. Like if you're a person who previously used to struggle with anxiety or even depression, you got to understand that what we're going through is going to really, basically exasperate that and we can see that from a numbers of people, you know, contacting helplines?

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You know, so one of your main focuses really needs to be, you know, to try to keep managing that every single day, it needs to be a goal of yours to keep managing your stress levels. And one of the best ways to do that is you know, keep doing that exercise. Like if you're able to get out and go for a walk, go for that walk, it'll make a huge difference.

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You know, besides that, you've got to get yourself busy in doing things. Whether that means you know, getting busy with practicing your pre Ramadan routine, you know, get yourself busy in doing something because it really takes your mind off everything that's going on.

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And you know, really look after yourself during this time. You know, I think it's important to pamper yourself, you know, go get your hair done, you know, make yourself feel nice, buy something nice for yourself like to feel comfortable.

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It can really help ease that that feeling of stressing yourself and in general, just avoid you know, overexposure to any type of news that stresses you.

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Besides that, it's really important to keep up with

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social life, like just because we're basically you know, indoors all the time doesn't mean we shouldn't keep up our social life. Like, I actually had, you know, what I called a Coronavirus, coffee catch up with a group of my friends recently, you know, on zoom

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in, I spoke to some sisters I haven't spoken to for for many years, you know, besides that I have handled, I've been able to get out with a friend, we're allowed to go out with one person. So I go out and walk with a friend. And that's a chance for me to catch up with her in distress as well.

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The other thing I've been trying to do is, you know, just keep on focusing on what you can do and what, rather than what you can't do, a lot of people are saying to themselves, you know, I can't do this, we can't do that, and it really gets you down. But if you actually turn it around the other way, and keep on seeing yourself, and hamdulillah at least we can still do this, you know, at least we can still do that, you know, I find that when I do that, you know, that everything I do just feels like a treat, you know, so I enjoy it even more. And I feel really grateful to loss of pantalla the fact that I'm able to do this, I mean, when I think about you know, prisoners, you

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know, we've got scholars, mela released them, you know, who are in prisons right now, you know, a panel of people in detention centers, they're not able to do half the things that we are able to do, you know, hamdulillah And may Allah relieve all the suffering of the people Velma.

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Besides that, you know, positive affirmations can really help you, you know, what I mean by that is, try talking to yourself aloud. You know, try talking to self allowed in in a in a comforting and positive way.

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This can really help to relieve your own stress, because you know, you have all those negative thoughts that build up in your mind. So counteract it with the positive talk to yourself and comforting words. And I think it's the lesson that we can actually draw from the story of Musa alayhis salaam, you know, in the Quran, you think about that moment when, you know, is being pursued by fear around in his army, and moose, Allison and finds himself stuck with his people between the army of Freetown and the sea. That's all that's, you know, in front of them is the see. And then, to top it all off, what do these people do they start to have doubts in their success. And they say in

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Moodle, rakuen, you know, we're going to be overcome. But what is musala? iclm? Say?

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All akella in my ob say, yes, Dean. So musala Islam says, No, rather My Lord is with me and Verily, He will guide me. So I think one of the lessons we can derive from this is that, you know, when those negative thoughts, you know, start to build up in your mind,

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speak aloud to yourself and tell yourself, no, rather than my Lord is with me, and He will guide me, you know, try to use positive words and you know, positive affirmations to help yourself pick yourself up and you know, rid yourself of those negative thoughts inshallah. And then just lastly, this is the last thing just try to be extra nice try to focus on being extra nice extra kind, because honestly, the world right now is really in need for Mike more kindness. You know, try to be more gentle and kind with everyone that you deal with. Whether it's with your children, your you know, your husband, or if there's brothers listening, you know, for your wife,

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you got to understand we're all feeling a lot more vulnerable right now. And everyone's need for that extra kindness. And it can make such a big difference to everybody you know, even if you get outside just smile at people like we're all feeling that vulnerability and analog being kind and you know, being gentle with people it can make such a huge difference and you know, you want all those Rama to come on you think about what the prophets or lawyers have said, you know, Abraham manfield out yarmulke Mansi center, have mercy and be gentle with those on earth and and the one above the heavens will be merciful with you. And Pinilla. One of the rewards of that is you'll see how much

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happier Allah will make you. You know, you'll feel the happiness that comes into your home and into yourself inshallah. So, I'll leave it there and inshallah hopefully I'll be able to come on and give some more advice in a future time. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh