Marriage In Islam With Qa At The End

The Deen Show
AI: Summary © The deen show discusses the shift from love and marriage to a more popular culture of marriage, where women and children are viewed as surrogate. The speakers emphasize the importance of finding peace and following the Prophet Muhammad's example in marriage to achieve a better life. They also emphasize the importance of tolerating in a society where married women are seen as risk and need to be supportive. The speakers emphasize the importance of preserving oneself from negative impact of marriage and avoiding mistakes in marriage, and recommend fasting to improve mental health and maintain healthy relationships.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:13 --> 00:00:44

Salam Alaikum peace be unto you. Welcome to the deen show, which is a way of life to try to put out there for everyone to see helping you understand Islam and Muslims. What's a Muslim? A Muslim is one who does Islam. What is Islam is an action it's a verb is to submit and to surrender your will to the will of the Creator. You learn something already and you're gonna learn some more. We're bringing out our special guest this week. You can go into the interview we do with him. We're covering the topic of marriage. You can learn more about him we're gonna introduce him

00:00:45 --> 00:00:47

he's about to come out special guest

00:00:49 --> 00:00:49


00:00:50 --> 00:00:53

Yasser be gracias

00:01:00 --> 00:01:01

Welcome to the show.

00:01:04 --> 00:01:19

Thank you for coming out. We went over your formal background on the last show that we did but real quick people can go back we have we're gonna have all your topics under your category special guest Yasser be big house. We'll get that I'm gonna get that right one day.

00:01:21 --> 00:01:32

Yes, yes. But just you graduated from with honors as a class Victoria from the Yale of Islamic universities in Medina.

00:01:33 --> 00:01:41

Through true University of Medina, Medina, yes. And you're the mom, spiritual leader in El Paso, Texas. Okay.

00:01:42 --> 00:02:24

Institute among Arab Institute. All right now we're going to get into the topic of marriage today. It's become something that is not being held on to as it was back, just I don't know how many years ago is something and trust is something pure today people are test driving in relationship just like you test driving a car. People are living together, you know, you meet this my girlfriend's my boyfriend, or buddies. Well, you don't hear like, this is my husband, this is my wife. It's something that now is become a normal society that people are drifting away from marriage to, or even the youth that want to get married. Some parents are even making it more difficult. They're

00:02:24 --> 00:03:03

saying, wait till you finish college, we're back then you have people getting married at a younger age, preserving the family. But what's happening today, you know, I got to finish I gotta get my doctor's degree. I got to get finish to get this PhD and a woman's 30. She's independent. Now. There's nothing wrong with being independent. But she's 30 and still not married. The boy he's wants to, you know, have his fun, test, drive as many cars as you can and then get married. We want you to go into this subject. And tell us how Islam preserves marriage. What it says about marriage. What's the man's role? What's the woman's role really clarified this in detail? Can you do that and shut

00:03:03 --> 00:03:03


00:03:20 --> 00:03:22

From the Lord Brahma Salah

00:03:25 --> 00:03:34

offers you to Allah, the Most Merciful, the Compassionate, and May peace and blessings of Allah be upon His messenger Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

00:03:35 --> 00:03:43

Marriage in Islam. Love is probably the most spoken about subject in life of men and women today.

00:03:44 --> 00:04:25

People they have this kind of feeling and passion is to love each other, who would like to establish relationship, they would like to have a happy life. And most men and women, they have their own ideas about the concept of man, the concept of relationship and the concept of love as well. We see that in this century, the 20th 21st century right now, most men and women are a giant enjoying the companionship of one another without having any specific limits, except for a few, of course. So they have started their own ideology of love, their own ideology, and culture of relationship and marriage as well. It has changed a lot, from the time when people used to appreciate the concept of

00:04:26 --> 00:04:59

family, the concept of marital life, being a spouse, being someone who's caring for you and caring for someone else. Having the concept of having children and raising up, you know, a solid foundation for the society. In the future. People have changed a lot and actually a lot of these concepts as well. In Islam, the institution of marriage is still solid, in constant theory, and in application as much as possible. But we still see that so many people are also drifting from that mainstream of the culture of marriage and family life.

00:05:00 --> 00:05:40

something new in the society. You see, we are seeing right now many young people, young men and young women are delaying their marriages. They really don't have any answer. They don't even show that interest of even getting married. We see so many people, young men and women pursuing their career, they want to find themselves they want to define themselves. But the most of them, not all of them right now are trying to define themselves through individualism means they want to be themselves, they want to build careers, they want to have degrees, they want to be successful in this life and so forth. But even the concept of success have been drifted away from the concept of

00:05:40 --> 00:05:59

family and marriage to be successful individually and individual. And unfortunately, many people are falling short when it comes to their relationship with their spouse. So therefore, we see the other problem in marital relationship nowadays, essentially, is that people would they getting married,

00:06:00 --> 00:06:01


00:06:02 --> 00:06:41

this marriage doesn't last too long. Many people they end up in a relationship with divorce, then the relationship with estrangement, and even sometimes the end was unfortunately we like so many incident we have been watching on the news with with a murder. Just simply they snap out from that kind of relationship and they end up so violent and dealing with their spouses, what is going on what exactly is happening to people and their relationship what is happening to the concept of marriage and family life? And I would like briefly to talk about the concept of marriage and the concept of love and relationship for Islamic perspective. It has been summarized in one simple verse

00:06:41 --> 00:07:00

and I end up with Allah subhana wa tada God saying, and therefore an ensuite room. Verse number 21 woman iottie and Holla Holla Come on. fusi come as watchin Lita schooner Elijah. wa Jalla, Vina kumada wa, Tina Fey, Danica tilicho me

00:07:01 --> 00:07:19

which means the English translation and amongst his sign is this that he created for you, kala Kala min unfussy come from amongst yourself as virgin mates spouses liter school Eliza, in order to find peace and tranquility with them. Well, Jalla baina come

00:07:20 --> 00:08:03

and he established between your hearts mawatha that is love and mercy, Rama, a nephew that he can actually call me for karoon indeed, rent Miss in these verses and those words are signs, signs from Allah subhanaw taala from the Creator. For those who would like to reflect this, but summarize the concept of marriage in Islam. We see that in living in the 21st century, it's it has become a cult that the body culture is everything is about beauty people, they would like to marry someone because of the physical characteristics, nothing about what is behind that actually image. There is nothing wrong, of course of pursuing something beautiful because this is now signs of professional mankind

00:08:03 --> 00:08:09

as well. as Muslims, we believe that marriage is a sign of perfection in the life of man.

00:08:10 --> 00:08:54

So therefore, it is something virtuous to go and pursue in this life in the legal way, of course. And in this in this verse in the Quran, our man, the commentators and what they said, they, they based that the marriage itself, it should the successful marriage is based on two elements are two factors for a successful marriage, number one, to have love. And number two, to have mercy. So if you have love, that's one thing, that's something very important in marital relationship. But number two, you also have the mercy. Most marriages that start with a loving relationship, specific living in this culture, you have so many people who go with these kind of tests, driving marriages, or

00:08:54 --> 00:09:06

sometimes they don't drive through marriage, they just meet each other in a in a in a club, or in some kind of casual event. And all of a sudden they're in love, and they want to get married, are they getting their ideas for marriage from nothing really probably significant.

00:09:08 --> 00:09:48

Except that what they see on TV was written in fairy tales, and so on. So it starts with love. And then, like we see in many, many relationships, specifically in life of celebrities, this kind of loving so called relationship ended up with divorce quickly after they get married. So what happened to that love that they enjoyed before? What exactly is happening, what's going on with with love people they have that you know that that feeling that love is something permanent. When they fall in love, they think that is going to be for granted forever. But once they start their marital relationship, that's when they realize that love is more than just a mere thought or just a passion

00:09:48 --> 00:10:00

or even a lust. It's even more than that. And that's when mercy comes in. So we believe that love during that marital relationship, transform transforms itself to different

00:10:00 --> 00:10:15

degrees, and different also shapes it start with this passionate love. And then when the spouse when the wife, she becomes pregnant, now they're expecting the child, very soon, the husband and wife, they become now

00:10:16 --> 00:10:53

more merciful to each other, more loving in a different way, of course, because there is something else that you're going to share together in this life. And then even when you have that child, now that love will be split between you, all of you, as a family. And now the Father has another purpose of life, besides, you know, just being so loving to his wife is also needs to be solely to his family sacrifice, and the wife would do the same thing. It's all about mercy. And it's all about love transforming itself from one level to the other. Unfortunately, most people, they're still living these kind of idealistic dreams about a perfect relationship. And contemporary study just

00:10:53 --> 00:11:27

confirmed and prove that this perfect relationship is almost an illusion, there is nothing perfect about our marital relationship, except to accept expect to have everything in your marriage relationship, you have the ups and downs, you have the good times and the bad times, you have the times when you're upset and angry, and when you have the time when you're very happy, and you're laughing, and so on. Expecting unnatural, unnatural, marital relationship. But if you expect to have that perfect relationship is all about love. That's when people when they start seeing that love is not there anymore, they stop going for divorce, because there is no purpose anymore for this

00:11:27 --> 00:11:50

relationship. But if you think of love, as an action that you need also to do, and way of transforming that love to a merciful relationship as well. That's when love when marriage actually starts for long, prolonging and takes even longer time, of course, between husband and wife. We believe that family life

00:11:52 --> 00:12:32

should be all about love and mercy. It's not just solely about love, the compassion, the passion of love, is not solely just a mercy. It's a combination between love, and mercy. And we believe that the best solution for the passions of people and this life, this respect, this value, the value of family and the value of marriage, as Muslims, we do, we do believe that, you know, there are certain guidelines, people need to observe in that marital relationship. When we say marriage, we're talking about contract, and a contract. It has its own provisions that both parties should honor and should also observe, you have things we call them rights. And also there are things we call them

00:12:32 --> 00:13:07

obligations, what men and women share together in America life, that's all about the rights and obligations. And hopefully, we will have an opportunity to discuss the meaning of flats and obligations between a husband and wife in Islam, it has all been regulated in the forum, and the son of the Prophet Muhammad, himself is be upon him. And by studying the best examples for mankind, we'll see how marital relationships go so smooth, and so loving, and happy marital life, it is he himself, Muhammad, peace be upon him, the prophet of Islam, who said hydrocone

00:13:08 --> 00:13:20

the best amongst those who are the best to their families. And then he said that I am the best to my family, and, of course, to a recommendation for us to follow His perfect example as a role model for mankind.

00:13:26 --> 00:13:27

That was wonderful.

00:13:29 --> 00:13:44

Thank you. So we got a kind of an idea of what marriage is in Islam, we have some practical things that are happening today. Tell us Is it true that when a Muslim completes marriage, this is like completing half of his faith.

00:13:45 --> 00:14:20

It's a very common concept in the Muslim culture that indeed, when someone gets married, they complete half of their faith. Because most people, they kind of further had they have this kind of, you know, wild dreams and wildlife and so forth. But once they get married, that's when it starts settling down. And the South genome becoming more focused on their goals in this life, and they understand themselves in the society in general. Is there something is it true that now once a man is married, he likes psychologically, physically, he becomes like, balanced? He shouldn't be. Yeah, I mean, people they should be why because now it's no longer it's no longer about yourself. It's

00:14:20 --> 00:14:52

about us. Yeah. So when people start, you know, they have their own wild dream again, they want like to be such and such, and all this kind of things, and so on. And now when they when they get married, they have someone else in their life that when they think they think jointly, of course. So it's all about us not knowing about me personally, or you personally, that doesn't mean that marriage will limit your personal dreams and goals as well. You can still achieve great goals in this life as an individual but at the same time with assistance your family, that will be a plus two. And then usually if you're not married, you have I mean, it's not everybody but I know people

00:14:52 --> 00:14:59

it's like you kind of like a wild animal sometimes. Well, it depends of course on the environment and how much they get to go loose. Yeah, yes, it is.

00:15:00 --> 00:15:25

Because you can't you can't get your desires run while you get heat, you fill it as heat and as passion, you get a chance to get in some real trouble. You live in the 21st century. Yeah. And when you go around walking in America and walking in the West, in general, you will see that, again, it's all about body culture, even right now. And almost everywhere on the body culture, the body culture, it's all wherever you go, it's all about men getting in shape, muscles, whatever they try to do, like

00:15:27 --> 00:15:46

I said, how I look where exactly women the same thing they would like, of course it was wearing, they want to be in shape. And plus now even in, in fashion, industry, and so on. It's all about revealing more parts of the body than you know, covering and considering that, just like in the past, it was about you know, being so modest, covering yourself, and being so

00:15:47 --> 00:15:59

respectful when you walk out into the street, we lost that and we lost that. And but Islam preserves, it still brings it back. We don't we don't compromise this. And we don't compromise that in Islam. Unfortunately, Muslims are doing that Muslims or

00:16:00 --> 00:16:27

Islam keeps that of course, in fact, as one of the main regulations of the relationship between men and women, so at what age because you see nowadays, many parents are saying and even individuals who say, you know, I gotta finish college at this doctor's degree, at what age should a youth get married, because we've gone away so far, saying, I 1818 is too young, too young 30 even as people 40 years old, waiting to get married, what age should someone get married? Well, the suction of the Prophet Muhammad,

00:16:28 --> 00:17:03

peace be upon him is that when a person when a man a person who is capable means physically and financially capable of getting married, they should not spare a moment, they shouldn't spare moment to spare moment, they should do that. However, of course, there are other instructions as well means that sometimes it becomes compulsory, Miss obligated an a person to get married, if they have that capability, financially, physically, and at the same time, they feel strongly that they might go into something haram prohibited meaning like fornication or an occasional adultery. In this case, they are obligated to go and get married, because there's nothing really prevented from them.

00:17:03 --> 00:17:32

Because there's no is there boyfriend girlfriend in Islam? We don't have that concept of in Islam at all. How about if we just hold in hands boring girl, the same thing can't do that. Don't touch it. None of this playing around. She got to be your wife. She got to be a wife. That's Claire's date. And then this case, so what about dating? How would people would know? He just yeah, how about that? That's a good question. It's a very important question specific living in this in this society, you know, they don't have that much access, maybe in Islamic environment. So how will go about it, still, the family plays a major role in presenting you know, the youth to each other. Plus, we have

00:17:32 --> 00:18:10

lots of Islamic centers for the can it should facilitate this for the for the young people, and families to come together. Living in a multicultural society. It's very important to start tolerating interracial marriages, and mixed marriages and so forth. And having only one particular culture, that puts too much pressure on some of those young people talking about probably that the culture of Muslim youth who are growing up in this society, now they're developing their own culture, their American Muslims, they're no longer for example of Muslims, or even indo Pakistani Muslims, or Bosnian Muslims, or saw their American Muslims means they all come together from

00:18:10 --> 00:18:45

different backgrounds, and they're building their own culture. So people they need to start to start, you know, breaking the ice. And tolerating this kind of mixing of cultures between the Muslim What do you got to say to the parents who are restricting, say, the youth now he's got this urge, right? And he wants to get married, he fears his creator, because he knows if I fall into the fornication, I'll get some big trouble, right? That's one of the main is that one of the major sins absolutely major sins, major sins, okay, major sense. So now it was punishable. So you have this fear of your Creator and love. You don't want to displease him. Now you want to get married? You've

00:18:45 --> 00:19:19

come to that. But your parents giving you a hard time now they're like, you know what, wait to finish school. And, you know, we got to get this $25,000 wedding. What do you got to say to the parents? Well, my advice to the parents, my advice to the parents is that they need to make it easier for the children. The children are living a different culture right now a different society. I know most parents, they have that claim that you see, we have gone through this ourselves. I've been to universities, we have went to colleges, and we survived the aftermath of digital kind of experiences. So Washington, our kids also bear you know, the responsibility. And also then the more

00:19:19 --> 00:19:52

question until they finish their school, I would say the culture has changed, the circumstances are changing. And your kids, they have that stronger edge, of course, to preserve themselves. And they have the full right to say that. However, I also send advice to the young kids, young men and women who would like to get married, that your parents needs to see some responsibility from you. You know, there's teaching the class myself teaching a class over the American Institute called loving adults. And sometimes these activities we ask parents and we asked also young adults to give their perspective about why they're dealing with managers and why parents are saying no, for these early

00:19:52 --> 00:19:59

managers. Unfortunately, it is understandable that parents they look at their kids are still still young and they're not ready for how they define

00:20:00 --> 00:20:10

Someone to be ready. When this is someone that he is right now responsible means they have a stable jobs. They when they talk, they talk to him and respectful manner.

00:20:11 --> 00:20:48

They know they have defined goals in their life and so on. That's when they start seeing that their children are ready for marriage, let's say now we have a situation where the kid, he's not financially stable, but he's still in the heat. You know, we talk about Hey, women now, can the parents even help out with financially supporting and even letting them live in the house, getting a room in the house and preserving that child rather than taking a chance? And now he slips up? And he goes and starts dating and fornicating? And, you know, doing the Xena and adult whatever? What do you think about that? I absolutely agree that if the parents would, would have the financial ability

00:20:48 --> 00:21:21

to support their children before even they finish school, that would be great help. I'm not saying that the kids not now they're going to be living in that perfect environment for a husband and wife. But at least that's better than doing something wrong, they're still doing it in a lawful way. Plus, I would also suggest, at least for just to easily to make things easier for the children. If If you know that your son or your daughter that they would like to get married, and they're still going to finish their school, why not, then at least they facilitate the marriage for them by having the marriage contract done, which means they become islamically, and legally husband and wife, but

00:21:21 --> 00:21:59

still, they delay what we call the consummation of marriage until more appropriate time. During that time, they have the liberty to stay together to be to have dinner together to come and visit you know, at home. Because islamically and legally considered husband and wife, the only thing that will not defer it and delay is the consummation of marriage, until we think that they're completely ready for that. So they could move to their own individual and premises or have their own apartment. And they have finished the studies. And the guy is given a stable job and so on. But parents, they should try to help as much as possible in such you know, a heated culture like this in the 21st

00:21:59 --> 00:22:32

century, how could marriage save one actually from the Hellfire but saves him a lot. I mean, it's enough for the person when they when they really feel fear of loss when they feel God. And they go and they just pursue this relationship in a lawful manner lawful way to avoid Of course human in the Haram. That's an act of worship. The worst thing you get a reward if you get an award for that if you're doing the lawfully, even the Prophet Muhammad himself when he was suggesting the acts of charity, a person would do the Prophet Muhammad. He said he mentioned things about marital relationship, things like for example, feeding your own your spouse on hand, that's an act of

00:22:32 --> 00:23:07

charity. And even someone approaching his desire in a lawful manner. It's an act. So you're telling me that in marriage, lawful marriage, you having relations with your wife, you getting your work, rewarded for absolutely the Prophet Mohammed himself, he suggested he said that, he said, what the Buddha had to consider means someone approaches his spouse is, with course with intimacy and pleasure, there will be a word for that. Even his companions, they got shocked by the news, said, Yasser Allah or messenger of Allah, someone's going after his design. And he goes on he gets reward. I mean, I mean, just satisfying, because his answer was anything by itself. So do you get also a

00:23:07 --> 00:23:45

* of a reward for that? He gave him now the rationale for that. He said, What if this person does that in an unbelievable way, when they be held accountable for that he'll be punished for that. He said, Yes, he said, O Messenger of Allah. He said, so the same thing, if he does that, in a lawful way, he should be the warfare. So for Muslim, seeking, of course, marital relationship, and maintaining the marital relationship in a healthy way, the struggle itself, the struggle itself, which is called a jihad, and that's me, just self, you know, education, itself, struggle against the hardships of marriage, the hardship of raising a family, it's all rewarding. Everything that you do,

00:23:45 --> 00:24:17

and that same same understanding of, you know, getting the word from God, you will get that that's the beautiful thing in Islam, that all these acts, all these little things you do, they're considered acts of worship is exactly the angels writing down these deeds, everything, including your regular work, when you go out and work on earning for living, not to feed your family so that you don't go on your big other people for that, you will get your word for that even the Prophet Muhammad himself that Dirham that term, which means that one, one dinner looks like $1 that you spend on your family is more rewarding than the one that is spent in charity. Why is that? Because

00:24:17 --> 00:24:57

now you're just saving hard in order to save yourself and your family going out expose yourself to humiliation. So that's an act of worship by itself. So marriage by itself is one gateway agenda to paradise. So those are interested in getting a nice marriage is one way of getting that you have to do it the proper way. Let's rewind for a second when we said we talked about how much reward and blessings you get feeding your wife having relations with your wife. How about you know some of our brothers who might have fallen into the trap now let's be real 21st century so you got you know, you walk out the door you got half dressed but they're not dressed and the brother falls now and he's

00:24:57 --> 00:24:59

this becomes like a disease. We know people that have been there and people

00:25:00 --> 00:25:14

There are there right now, what advice do you have for them? How do they get out of this trap of chasing their desires? flipping the woman like changing your socks? How do you do? Well, this is something really it's a serious, it's a serious disease that

00:25:16 --> 00:25:48

is not just, you know, it's not just for the Muslim youth, it's for everybody. I mean, people will take advantage of this of the environment, seeing, you know, if it's available pleasures available for you for free, why should you go and you pay for it? Why should I, you know, open a house and bring some money, you know, and just basically face them every day and every night and view the hardships of those people, if I can get what I can, what I'm looking for, the main purpose is just designed, why should I even be the hardships of marriage. That's, that's a false concept. I mean, it just it just an incredible design. Sooner or later, this this now this power of the energy field,

00:25:48 --> 00:25:57

will start fading out to the reality of life. And that's sort of what they realize how much they wasted their time, and even their energy, even the waste even.

00:25:59 --> 00:26:40

They're actually the dean and then the relationship with God, and something that should not be starting or doing in the first place. So for those people who are getting into this, the prophet Mohammed, he suggested that preserving yourself protecting yourself from committing and Zina, and until you meet your Lord, there is no reward. But Canada has an agenda. So it's again, it's not feeling itself, that urge, the more the more, you feel that you're into this desire. And then you hold yourself from this, the more reward your reward. Exactly. And you know that in self defense, I mean, you have to practice a lot self discipline. Yeah. So this has been the use of it's all about

00:26:40 --> 00:27:15

discipline yourself. And I know most of those people that we're talking about, they're probably good Muslims. And they're good youth. Some of them even the fast amount of Ramadan. And just remember yourself, when you were fast in the month of Ramadan, who was holding you from drinking that cup of water, when you were by yourself in the office, or in the room? Who was holding you for you from eating or from drinking, when you see everybody's enjoying the pleasure of this life? And you're just saying, No, I'm fasting, no one. But you were just really respecting the concept of fasten the Moto formula, because it's solid for God. Islam, fasting itself is also teaches you that self

00:27:15 --> 00:27:46

discipline, it does that if you can do it during that month, this is we're training our souls to be able to do it through the whole year. That's why Saturday's Yeah, very, very conservative days a month of Ramadan. Why is that because you know that you have to first First of all, if you don't have any practice, you have to warm up. And then when you warm up, you start the real practice. And then, of course, you know, relaxing a little bit, that's exactly what I'm all about. You start for 30 days. So you start warming up for the first few days. And then when you get adjusted to the system, that's when you start building that self discipline. And by the end of the month of Ramadan,

00:27:46 --> 00:28:21

you know that it's coming very quick to an end, that's when you start, you know, worshipping in the mortar, the last 10 days of Ramadan. So that same thing you realize, if someone is going is actually facing this, this disease, of looking at what a god a last minute how Rama number four to them, or communities kind of since, first of all, there needs to learn that there needs to stop, you know that you're already in a hole. And the first thing that you need to observe is to stop digging, which means you stop first, and then try to find out, find a way out of that hole. So by stopping first means that you now you put that actually to a halt and stop, then stop reflecting and going

00:28:21 --> 00:28:58

back. And then now you start seeking that help. And of course you calling other people being in good company, it's very, very important. Try to avoid being around these areas will provoke you desire and of course provoke the shaitan and the evil one to go around you and seducing you to get back again to that same path. Because if you're around people who are doing this, you're going to fall in that trap. Absolutely. So you got to watch out who you're hanging around with also you should company is very, very essential and very crucial in life. Tell me this, how Islam, it preserves the rights of the woman it if you want to now be with this woman, you got to marry her you got to

00:28:58 --> 00:29:37

maintain her you got to take care of her. when in actuality The man is like the wolf, trying to get the head. He's trying to use her abused her and leave her Islam says no, you cannot do that. In real life or within this culture. There are so many what we call them single parents. Yeah. But if you try just to watch and look at the ratio between single fathers and single mothers, there is no comparison. Most of those single parents are actually single mothers. Yeah. Which means men unfortunately come and take advantage take advantage and then they just leave. Why is that because they can find a better opportunity. It's it's open, there is no restriction. But in Islam, it

00:29:37 --> 00:29:59

preserves the rights of women, rights of men as well and the marital relationship. So Islam, Islam, views marriage to be partnership, not ownership. And that's why even something in this culture when women they met, they get married, they change their last name to their husband's last name, but Islam does not allow women they should keep their last name in order to remind them that you know that this is not

00:30:00 --> 00:30:10

ownership, its partnership. So you have rights and obligations and on the husband, you should observe the rights of your spouse. And also make sure that you know the obligation against you are

00:30:12 --> 00:30:50

done correctly. And in the right time, the proper man proper etiquette, same thing, the wife, she also needs to observe the rights and obligations of her husband. So it has always been maintained and regulated. Yes, it is just like any other Corporation. And then corporations usually have a head of the head of that Corporation. And usually men were given that, because its its feet and the notches, the ego, the way las panatela, God created us men and women, in a different way, however, would unique roles in order to compete to complete not to compete against each other. So we plead not to compete. So we complete one another, we don't compete against each other. So this was an

00:30:50 --> 00:30:59

obligation observed, clearly. And I mentioned really in the Quran, and the traditional Providence, Providence, just a few more points, because we're almost out of time. What should

00:31:00 --> 00:31:26

one look for in their spouse? The one they're going to marry? What should they look for the biggest bank account? The most perfect body? What should one look for? This is not it's about competitive. Yeah, who is the most compatible to you? It depends on how you look at what exactly your objective for marriage, you see, most people, they have their own their own objectives and their own idealistic dreams about marriage. So for those who are just thinking of pleasure, and

00:31:27 --> 00:32:08

love, passionate love, and so on, they would go after just the superficial property, image, beauty, passions and stuff like that. For those who are more serious into the look into what is beyond that image, of course, we suggest and will commit to have all good qualities in your spouse if you can. But the Prophet Mohammed himself, he suggested, he said that people usually they marry women for different qualities. And he counted for them. He said, number one, for the for the beauty, for the wealth, for the lineage, of respectable in our family, and also for the religion for the faith, Ministry of faith, talking about faith and good character. Then he said, God forbid, that'd be

00:32:08 --> 00:32:50

interpreted that means if you can find that religious person, then go ahead, don't mess that up, let just the best quality, the best quality. And even for men, he suggested to parents and guardians, when you when you receive someone, perspective, husband, your daughter, who was religious and have a good character, you should not say no to this person. Why is that? Because this religious person here he holds these principles of justice of mercy. And if he loves her, you will be so generous with her. But if he does not like, he's not going to be unjust. So what's better if the guy comes to marry the doctor? He's a doctor, PhD, but he's missing the salon and his,

00:32:51 --> 00:33:26

you know, faith is not that high. He's like what they call a Ramadan Muslim, but he's a doctor. But then you got the other brother, you know, he's making ends. He's doing okay, but he makes the five times prayer he has to Tuckwell the consciousness of his creator. What do you do? I would absolutely choose the faithful one. The faithful because if he is faithful, sincere about his faith is going to be faithful and sincere for my doctor though, it doesn't matter he can read or Paul's she got our conditioning help her out? Yeah, sure. But what if he What if he doesn't really respect my daughter? What if he's not gonna really take this, you know, turn a professional, you can say, look, this is

00:33:26 --> 00:34:05

my son in law, Dr. Parker, Dr. Hussain is not going to help my daughter and her relationship with her spouse. So it's all about it's all about, you know, being happy with each other. That's the most important thing. And what really brings happiness to the life of people mostly, is that being so happy about their relationship with God? Number one, because if you do so you have that peace of mind, and peace in that heart. And that's when you become a new faithful to you know, you have to be faithful to your spouse. Why is that because you get even this, it's a message and you believe that marriage is a religious institution that is initiated by God and the last panel, what are called it

00:34:05 --> 00:34:45

meetup and Elena would like to make a closing on this myth that Angelina is strong covenant, God column the Quran called marriage, a strong covenant, which means it's not something that's you know, you you miss you miss with, you play with, you cannot do that. It's not about you know, convenience. Now, you know, I like this latest, I'm going to get married to her. And then a few months later, you're going to go into for divorce. Why? Because you don't, it's not about us. It's an attack on money, the marriage was made to be continuous relationship between a husband and wife. And therefore, it was it was observed as a mythical religious covenant. God is overlooking all these

00:34:45 --> 00:35:00

relationships. And therefore you see the regulations of marriage are found in the Koran and the traditional Prophet Mohammed. They were not left for people to go and regulate for themselves. Otherwise, people are going to be biased against each other. Men will be biased against women and men have a problem.

00:35:00 --> 00:35:08

will take advantage in certain times against men. So what's the solution was always preserved in the faith itself. So it is an enemy.

00:35:09 --> 00:35:33

And people should respect marriage to be a strong religious covenant, I want you to please can you give inshallah, to the parents and to the youth, give us some advice and some closing comments, as well. So my son in law, he recommended that for those young people, if you can't, if you have the financial and the physical ability to get married, you should not spend a moment and you should go and go

00:35:34 --> 00:35:53

and propose. And if you are not able to do something, here recommend another solution temporarily, at least. And that is to go for fasting. Because fasting gives, again, the person self discipline. So it teaches you to discipline yourself and observe the consciousness of God in your lifetime. So not to fall into these mistakes.

00:35:54 --> 00:36:28

And for the parents, I would like to commend and suggest to make things easier for our youth. Those young people right now, they're suffering from high salaries and MMA and high expenses of marriages, and therefore they're trying to wait longer and longer in order to get that it's not about you know, cultural event that you do not to just to depart from from front of the public, it's going to be one day one night, and people probably they will drink that night regret that night for the rest of their lives. So make it easier for our kids and make it easier for them. I understand that you would like them to be responsible, and they should be responsible. And I also recommend that you don't

00:36:28 --> 00:36:54

really help anyone who's completely irresponsible, but we need to help them to understand the concept of responsibility, the concept of in house on a be a family person, make things easier for them, and on the last panel put Baraka and their marriages. He was the one that the prophets Allison said, a fella who number one, Baraka is the less the more the more Baraka blessing Will you will find in this meta relationship 100

00:36:55 --> 00:36:58

say thank you so much for coming out.

00:36:59 --> 00:37:25

Thank you, thank you and come to the law. like to thank all our viewers who tuned in for another episode on the show, trying to help you understand and see how Muslims tackle these very important issues today we covered marriage, inshallah, we'll have the shake back again for another hot topic, please visit the website, check out our video page, other topics that we've covered. Until then we'll see you a Salaam Alaikum Peace be on T

Share Page

Related Episodes