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Depression or Suicidal thoughts
Channel: The Deen Show
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Some great Advice in this episode for every person who is Dealing with Depression or suicidal thoughts? Islam has all the solutions for all of mankind since it isn’t a man made religion it is a way of life sent down from the Creator of mankind as a mercy to the worlds. This weeks Guest Sh Yassir fazaga director of mental heath
Episode Transcript ©
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah Salaam Alaikum peace be unto you, thank you for tuning in to the deen show. And this week, we want to help all of those people that are suffering, suffering, and have some sadness in the heart, there's a void that needs to be filled. And you know what you're doing your best you're striving, you're striving to submit to the one God, you're striving to do good deeds are striving to develop yourself to have noble character, but you might have lost a loved one, you might have separated in a marriage, you might just be having a bad month or a bad week, and you just had. So how do we as Muslims, those who have submitted to the one God, how do we deal with that, even if
you're not yet Muslim, and you're going through depression? This is a topic for you, too. And we're going to be covering this with our next guest. Yasser for zaga. Sit tight, we'll be right back.
Salam Alaikum Peace be with you while they consider our hotel la vaca. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you? Eddie? Good hamdulillah. All thanks to the Creator of the heavens and earth who's given us this ability to be here. I'm very thankful time is short. So let's get right into the topic, I opened it. And you are the director of the Mental Health Institute. So you deal a lot with people coming in and having a bad day having a bad month having a bad year, and they're depressed. Is this right? That is very right. And again, I really have to thank you, Eddie, for bringing up these topics. These are real issues that people have to go through every single day. And actually, the
Quran makes it very clear that by the mere fact that we are humans, we are going to face challenges in our lives, we don't get to choose the timing of the challenge. We don't get to choose the nature of the challenge, or where it may happen. But the fact remains, that is we will face some challenge in our life. That challenge may be us our wealth, our health, it may be our loved ones, those who are around us. And again, was these challenges. It's not just the loss, but also it is the impact that the loss may have upon us. And like you said, you know, depression just happens to be one of these challenges that may face us as humans. Now, keep in mind that depression is not necessarily a
character weakness, people would deem depression to be a command just trying to shake people out of it. You know, and they would give you that pep talk, when the going gets tough, the tough get going, Yeah, or hard times don't last but tough people do. These are beautiful words, but they really do not eliminate depression. So depression is not seen as a personal weakness of the individual. So please, if you know anybody that is depressed out there, make sure that you do not attribute depression, to their weakness, because it's not. Depression also is not the result of weak faith. And that is something that we hear amongst religious groups, and that is, or the person's faith in
God is not that strong. That is why they are depressed. And that is not real. What it really is, is that at this point, the pain that you are going through is so overwhelming, and you do not have enough tools to deal with the pain. So you go into depression, that's basically in simple words, that is really what it means. So appreciate that you're bringing up this topic, but it's also very important that we know how to characterize it the right way, so that we become a source of empowerment to those who are around us, rather than a source of depression to those who are already depressed. So I really appreciate you bringing up this, this topic. Not only that, but also this
idea that religious people are not necessarily what we call inherently protected from becoming depressed simply because they are religious. Reality is depression is something that you know, it crosses all boundaries and all you know, socio economic, ethnic, religious, none of that matters. We're all prone to it. Now, what Islam promises is this. Islam does not say that because you are Muslim, you will never be depressed. Islam says that, because you are a Muslim. You have access to the tools that Islam gives you if you're depressed
It will prevent you from going into despair. So religion prevents despair, it does not prevent inherently, it does not prevent depression, that's a key right there. So being depressed is a part of the natural, just consequence of being a human being. And not only that, but if we are not depressed, there is really something wrong. I mean, chances are, we will be depressed someday, it will be a new minor depression, it may be major depression, but definitely we will have the blues, you know, we will have one day we'll just not feeling well, we're down. So that is that is human. And we embrace this, we don't try to rush ourselves out out of it. But remember, it's not depression
that bothers us, is the consequences of depression, how people choose to cope with depression, what people who people become as a result of depression, that is really the challenge. Now, you also said after depression, the this way of life, it will keep you from going into despair, right? Because what happens when you go into the spirit, that's when people go into suicide, that is people who want or go on to, it's not worth living anymore. That is when people literally give up. And they give up on life. That is dangerous. So that is where we come in with the tools that Islam says that we have, so that it prevents that? Well, I'll just give you give you an example. Eddie, did you know
that every 15 minutes in the US, somebody takes away their own life every 15 minutes every 15 minutes, that is 90 people a day, that is 34,000 people every year, they die because of suicide falling in despair now, yes, not only that, Edie, but it is the third leading cause for people between the ages of eight between the age of 18 and 45. And it's the second leading cause of death for college students. We're talking about a serious, serious problem here. It's not just the depression that is serious. It is the consequences, how people cope and how people deal with depression that is problematic. People who go into alcohol, thinking that this is going to make them
you know, forget about their problems. That is something that started with depression. But now the coping mechanism, the coping skills that the person has acquired, are so poor, that depression is no longer the problem, it is the way that they're dealing with depression. People who go into smoke, and especially nowadays, smoking pot is so unbelievably popular, because that is the only way that a person has learned how to cope with their depression. And that is really sad. So what we're after here is to be depressed is human to go into despair is unacceptable. So it is helping the individuals who are going through these tough times, you know, deal with the depression getting out
of it. But at the same time, we don't want them to go into the spirit as well.
Usually, like when you get hurt, okay, you you you get a bandaid on the scar, it takes a few days, maybe a week, you broke a bone, it takes a little bit longer, but the emotional scars sometimes can take even longer than the physical scars. But is there you've been an expert in this area, is there approximately about a time if you you know, in a way these tools, you mentioned that if you deal with it, maybe take a month, six months, how long does it or is there even such a thing that approximately you'll feel this this depression, emptiness? And before it goes away? Yeah, well, a person is considered to be clinically depressed, if they have had six of nine symptoms and is very
quickly feeling fatigue, a sense of hopelessness, or losing interest, seeking isolation, thinking about death, a person not finding pleasure in pleasurable things that they have done in the past, a person feeling down most of the day, very little tolerance for irritants, the whole idea of feeling down. So if you have had this for two weeks, then you are considered to be clinically depressed. Now this is not considering that a major life changing event has taken place. People getting divorced, a loved one dying, then we would expect that naturally it would take us some time to heal. But if you are depressed, and you have been there for a while, then two weeks would be you know anything less
than two weeks would be normal. More than two weeks it would be clinically you are defined as clinically depressed. Let's take a break and we right back with more here on today's show.
Do not kill a woman do not kill a child do not
know going to different religious Buddhism, Hinduism, forms of Christianity. I even ran into people from the Nation of Islam.
Do not kill an animal. You will not
Got a tree down, do not pollute the water, do not burn their homes.
Back here on the deen show with Shay Yasser for zaga, we talked about depression.
And we want people to understand, okay, this is normal, but when you fall into what are we talking about now? desperation? Or what was the other word, the poor coping mechanism to despair or despair, okay, when you fall into the spirit that can be a problem leading to suicide, and things that
you know, taking the wrong course now, but tell us, okay, so a broken broke doctor can tell you Okay, and six months you'll be healed. You mentioned two weeks before we went to the break.
And then you're you're clinically diagnosed as as depressed. Right? So how is it? So from here after you've been depressed for two weeks? I mean, talk to us more, is there like after two months that it gets your label something else? Or should it go away after two months? But do you have to be doing something? These tools you mentioned? What are the tools? And do you have to implement them? How do you implement them, or otherwise, you're depressed for two years? Yep. See, Think about depression, like falling into a hole. Okay, and this is for the viewers as well. But that hole is not stagnant, the hole is either getting deeper, or you're trying to crawl out of it. And the longer that we stay
in that hole, the deeper it gets. But also the deeper it gets, the more difficult it gets to get out of it. And the more hopeless we become, as as a result. So usually, what we want to see is that once a person recognizes this, that they're depressed, and we usually do, and then again, you know, depending on the severity of it, so we would say that a person is depressed, it's either in a minor depression, it is, or it's mild, they would call it, it's either moderate, or it is severe. And when it gets severe, we're talking to a person being negligent of their personal hygiene, for example, they don't go to work anymore, their performance is just, and their functionality is impacted by
this, they started performing very poorly, academically, in their relationship, they start neglecting their responsibility towards their loved ones. And that's when like, they can have like suicidal thoughts, or they can actually start having psychosis, which means that, you know, their perception of reality is disturbed at this at this point. So what we are looking at is, we want to make sure that the minute we notice it, then we want to make sure that we take early prevention. So the very first tool that I would, you know, point our attention to is this whole idea of early prevention, if you detect it, if you sense it, do something about it. And basically, because
depression is all about doing nothing, it just people idling. And, you know, there is really nothing happening, the very first thing that we want to do is actually begin by doing so doing something as opposed to doing nothing. Exactly. And the point is that this helps people in really getting out of it remaining to be functional, despite the fact that they are depressed. Now, you know, there is this thing about being an alcoholic and a functioning alcoholic, you can be depressed, and functionally, you're also, you know, you're you're okay, it's a lesser form of depression, at that, at that point. We also want to make sure that you surround yourself with a good support system. That
is when family members come in. That is when friends coming. You know, you're talking about people who have committed suicide, okay. They say that about 80% of the people before they, you know, before they completed their suicide, they call their loved one. They call the loved one. Okay, there was this a story about this young man, he was determined in San Francisco that he was going to go to the Golden Gate Bridge, and that he was going to throw himself down unless somebody asks about him. So he said that he actually made it to the Golden Gate Bridge, and said that a couple came, and they handed him a camera and asked if he could take the photo. They said, I took the photo, but they did
not ask how I was doing. So he threw himself down, but he did not die. And that's how we know the story. So the idea is that even when people are depressed, and they get into that state of despair, and they no longer want to live, they usually reach out to somebody before before they do that. So if you are a parent, and your teenage son or daughter, they've been talking to you about depression. Please take that seriously. If you are a friend and somebody has reached out to you saying that I really don't want to live anymore. Please take that seriously. But there is a course that we teach on just noticing signs and symptoms of a person considering
suicide, people giving their valuables away. People have this cat that they really adore. And they call you up and say, No, I want you to take care of my cat Oh, for the weekend? No, no, I want to take I want you to take care of it. You mean, are you leaving town? No, I just want you to have it immediately know what is what is going on. When people start giving, you know away things that they really value, it means that they're cleaning the way to do that. So this support system, you know, don't be afraid of asking people, you know what, you're very depressed, you know, I'm really afraid for you, and do not be afraid of using the word suicide. Are you considering suicide, don't shy away
from using from using the word, you've normalizing it at that at that point.
So it will be it will be these things, you know, the support systems, and then that is the proper tools. Having access to a professional is definitely a tool that we want you to employ. And remember, because you're seeing a therapist, or you've seen a psychiatrist, it does not mean that you are weak, because you are unable to do it on your on your own. It does not mean that you're crazy, it does not mean that you are insane. And I know that, you know, therapists don't really fare well, in society nowadays, especially if you're a psychiatrist, people are talking about you visiting a shrink. And so so there is that stigma that that comes that comes with it. But just get
to know as many tools as as possible. And you know, we've mentioned three of them here. so far. So don't be alone. Talk to someone get attention for this matter, right away. Yes, an early early detection, early prevention is usually the way to go with talk to us about some other things that a person can do, you know, to get more optimistic on the optimistic side. And to get away from, you know, falling into despair, they lost, let's say they just got divorced, or, you know, the person lost their children, you know, some things other things that you recommend that they do, you know, one great tool that we really like to do is something that we call relabeling. And basically what
that is, is that you're not necessarily changing the facts of what happened, but just give it a different label. And that may actually make you feel better. So we can refer to somebody as either a rape victim, or a rape survivor, we're not changing the facts, you know, something bad has really happened to this person, Something terrible has happened to this person. But when I called them a victim, it's a downer, yet, when I use the word survivor, there is actually hope they're really empowering the individual. So rather than saying that I am weak, for example, let's say when you're depressed, I'm going through some difficult times at this point. And what that would do is that just
the negative labeling of the self is removed away. And that actually helps us in keeping our own sense of goodness, our self concept, our sense of self has not been distorted as a result of this negative label that we have applied to our to ourselves reaching out to friends usually it's just the support system that is around us, you know, making sure that you are in good company that will be such a great tool as I mean good friends good friends are beautiful assets. You know, and that's why you know, say that that's the best you know, the most beautiful things in life are not things it is relationships, and what better and more beautiful than a relationship that you can actually count
on when you are so down that our friends we're gonna take a break we'll be right back with more here on a daily show
solonius otherwise solo he
wouldn't go to my room lock the door prostrate and cry. Thank God you know me better than myself. So me the right way and I will not look, I will leave everything behind.
A lot of that creator any great, everything is intelligent.
back here on the show with Shay Gosar for zaga. Now in his way of life, that we follow the way of life of all the messages of God, we're trying to live a righteous life, according to God's wills, not our desires. Sometimes a person can get more depressed feeling that you know what is
punishment from God? Am I just did I do something to displease God? Can a person sins also, you know, going away from, let's say, the prayer, you know, establishing a relationship with the credit can this also lead to depression or even on the flip side if someone's doing these things, but then they fall into depression, if you like, you know, what is God turned his back on me and they get more depressed. You know, here's what we say, having the correct perception of who God is, and knowing him through his names and attributes, and the beautiful qualities that he has told us about is just a cardinal Cardinal component of having a healthy life. The other thing that you also want
to keep in mind is if if the higher the gap between where we actually are and our values and principles, meaning that if our values and principles are up here, and our actions are down here, this is too high for gap, that is an invitation to misery, we are actually happiest when there is harmony between what we believe what our principles are, what our values are. And then our actions are actually a testimony to what we believe and what we value and what our principles are. So what we want to do is close this gap as much as possible. And that is harmony, that is when we acquire that peace of mind, you know, the saying that if what you believe in, does not impact how you
behave, then what you believe in is not important. So how can you say that God is merciful, yet you have this perception of him, saying that God opens the doors, and he is the dispenser of grace? Yet you say that. So that will be an erroneous and erroneous perception of God? Because God does not benefit anything from putting us through mysteries, that will not be acceptable. Does prayer does getting close to God help? It definitely does. And that is why many times actually, a therapist would refer clients for some spiritual healing, you know, they would say, Fine, I want you to take your medication, take your antidepressants, or anti anxiety pills, I want you to come to counseling
so that we make sense out of it. But you know what, I think spiritual healing will also be helpful to you. So you see a lot of people being sent to their Rabbi to their pastor to the Imams. And the point is, is spirituality can actually add meaning, and give explanation to what the person is going through, as well as the idea of instilling hope, because of their belief in God, that can also be a very important component of, you know, gaining back our emotional health.
Now, before we close, just a few more points that I want to cover, now, there's a person who is who's living more of a life according to this way of life, according to the game plan, will that person
be less inclined towards depression? Here's the thing.
What that's really about what causes depression? Yeah. So it could be the genetics, it could be biological factors. It could be environmental, it could be just the other person's own susceptibility to fall into depression. So you may really be praying and what have you, but then you lose a child. So naturally, you would be just natural. Now you feel that you shouldn't feel guilty about you get divorced. Yeah. So naturally, you would feel that because you are religious. Like we said, religion does not inherently prevent depression, religion gives you enough tools to prevent you from going into display the tool so you can do the job. When the depression kicks in, you got
the tools to help you get out of the exam. But if you don't have the tools, and the tools, would you say that knowledge, or the tools would be, you know, what we call about, you know, just the whole idea of being aware that the idea of optimism because optimism, believe it or not, is actually a learned behavior, actually, we're not born optimistic. It's a learned behavior. It's a behavior that we actually learned, no attitude and perception, all these things, these would be proper tools that we can all learn. And the thing is, Eddie, and this is really interesting. Um, each and every one of us, we have gotten like just enough well of treasures within us that we have not tapped into. So if
you go to a good therapist, what that therapist would do, they weren't really give you new tools, but they would tap into your own well of tools that you actually have, but you were not aware of. Now, last closing comments and suggestions for the person is is at the edge. They're at the edge, you know what, and they might even be contemplating suicide, and they just tuned in to the deen show. And they're listening to you What advice do you have for you know, I look, you know, this idea of of you being depressed, that is not a personal weakness, it's not a lack of faith. It is just what it is. So, you know, the pain is overwhelming at this point. And what you need is tools to help
you you know, get out of the pain, please reach out to your friends. Call
hotline, you know, talk to your family doctor, talk to your family, family members, just do it for your own self, as well. And you know what, if we can last this day, we never know the goodness that tomorrow is going to bring to us. And that's the whole idea of just, you know, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, you know, and the sad reality is, you know, a bend in the road is not necessarily the end of the road. So it may just be that turn that you need, and then you'll see the light at the end of it. Thank you. Thank you so much. And again, we started with peace we and with peace. Thank you so much, my God Almighty the credit rewards you for being with us.
And thank you for sitting tight for another episode of digital, some great advice, some great advice from the experts. And that's why you come here to learn to learn every week, we're here trying to bring you another episode. And if you want to learn more about the most misunderstood way of life, yet the fastest growing way of life, and this way of life, will bring nothing but joy and peace into one's life. But you got to have the tools. And one of the first tools to start with, and you can get it for free is by calling the one 800 662 Islam number. That's the verbatim Word of God. That's right. It's the end. So if you'd like to get your copy, give us a call today. And for any questions
that you might have even criticisms are welcome, we can start a healthy dialogue. That's right. And we'll see you next time here on today's show. Until then peace be unto you. And if we're gonna worship something, I figured I might as well worship the creator instead of any of the creations.
Now it upon investigating the religions, I remember finding out the meaning of what Islam is while Muslim is those who surrender their self to God is a Muslim. Those who cement submit to God, God's will that Islam was pure. It was just you just pray to god you create