Why We Need Islam (Q&A)

Tariq Appleby


Channel: Tariq Appleby

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all of us

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if they had happiness with Islam and the reverse of Allah, so I still have

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most of what is UCS.

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this will not allow Santos in Ohio. So

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the brother asked the question, you said that

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if we say that real happiness is in the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala why is it that Buddhists and Christians and others say that they find happiness in the, in the religions, okay, and they acts of worship.

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And the reason for this is that we find happiness when we turn to when we turn to Allah subhanho wa Taala. But unfortunately, sometimes that

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belief is corrupted.

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Okay? Because if you will, like in the time of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam the Polish, they were worshipping a lot, but they were worshipping idols as well. And they were convinced that that was the way to, to do it. If you look at the Christians, especially the Catholics, you know, they have all of these rituals and all of these things that they do they find great satisfaction in that Why? Because there is a portion of the, the portion of the hack there. But the problem remains that the lives are not truly happy, because they have not submitted themselves to the commands of a loss of data. They focused on one aspect which brings tranquility, but it does not bring it does not

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bring perpetual tranquility. Does that make sense?

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So I'm doing an act of worship, I'm connecting, I'm trying to connect to Allah subhanho wa Taala, I'm meditating. I'm saying that it was It is I, I'm fasting, I'm not eating meat, I'm doing all sorts of things. But ultimately, they are aspects of my life, that I have not yet. Let me give a typical example.

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And I'll use Catholics again, because I grew up where I grew up, the majority of the Christians were Catholics is you will find that they will go to church on a Sunday, religiously, they will go and they will be there, they will do all that you will do the Eucharist and the mass and everything. But as soon as they get out of church, they go back and they drink. And they fall, you know, people become drunk. And you know, things happen, okay? So that the true happiness is a sense of perpetual happiness. And perpetual happiness does not mean that you will go through difficulty, it just means that you have the tools to deal with difficulty. solver is one example.

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Software is also in a burden. having patience and forbearance is an either we believe that it's an either, we believe that if I patiently go through a difficulty without complaining without criticizing, without blaming Allah subhanho wa Taala, that that's an act of worship. We believe as Muslims that even if you are pricked with a thought, that your sins have been forgiven.

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That's what we believe.

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That's the reality. So even that day is the gift. It is an either it is a means of coming closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Our perception of difficulty, the way that we consider difficulty, you know, I'm not an expert on Buddhism. But what I have, you know, what I have read and studied, is that one of the reasons the Buddha was calling to what he was calling to why it was different from Hinduism, was because he looked at the world as a world of perpetual suffering.

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If his decision that you make every choice that you are given, either one that you choose, it's going to be one of one in which you could possibly have somebody great, possibly have some pain, possibly have some suffering. So why not live a life completely devoid of any of the worldly affairs, but that doesn't really bring true happiness. And I'm gonna use the Catholics again, as my last example, the Catholic priests, they don't marry. Okay, they're not allowed to get married, and they're not allowed to have intercourse. And what have we seen over the last 100 and if we add records, probably the last few 100 years is that because that is unnatural, even though they are

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worshipping even though they are fasting and they are fasting length and they are doing this and they are leading

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The master they are preaching, they have been unable to control their desires, and therefore they've unnaturally

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you know, taken advantage of children. That's the reality. So it's an illusion, in my, in my opinion, it is an illusion, because it does not to give you the tools to deal with the bad, the bad things and the bad times as well.

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Okay, so I learned basically like takoma lube, is that it may know that you have in the good times and the bad times, because you dhikr of Allah subhanho wa Taala sustained, sustains you in all of those difficulties. Okay. Any other questions?

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The sister the Batman.

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So I

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need to

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let you easily convey my point.

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So I was, this is one of my personal freedom. For me, I was like, I need this moment in my life, because I see this as a temporary test. And of course, my destination is

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this how I'm

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still trying to be through renewable.

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I was with,

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non Muslim

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a long time in a long distance relationship with anonymously. So I met this guy two years ago, in Paris, and he told me, like, you know, we have to fish out there, and I, I wouldn't waste

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my time with him, obviously, knowing that I'm not really a good guy, you know, shortly after that, someone.

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So back to him that he wants to be with me, even one year minimum, and maximum, he has to marry me because we have the boundaries of

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Islam, and

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that is my culture and my faith. And we were in a relationship for free as long distance. And that is good for me, protects me from risk. So now fast forward two years. In between the two years, I came to France one time because he wanted to make the Shahada.

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So he asked me to come with me to the company to the mall. And I came and we went to the mosque three times. And he couldn't, he didn't manage to see the shadow. So that really broke my heart. That was a year ago.

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And I thought that

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but he was reading the Quran and he was practicing the shinai before he went to the mosque, but while he's there,

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this guy just stopped. So he actually said to the lady, he actually printed the Shahada. Did he say to you yeah.

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So there is a Muslim

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doesn't seem credible witness, although I know you're a witness to see it. But at that time, he was shocked. So he actually say it and with the transmission asked me to correct him. So I'm like, but, you know, I, I didn't want to be excited because I don't want to be like this Christian missionary like, hey, like,

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but like, okay.

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So if you didn't know if I haven't gone there yet, I haven't seen in front of an Imam. So we went to the mosque. And he couldn't, he became like, but we couldn't stop and be like,

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without him being like the Muslim.

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So I asked him like, why do you want to see it again, in terms of crime? And then he said,

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Do you believe in Allah as a true God? Say, yes. Do you believe as a man's masculinity? Yes. So why is what is preventing you from seeing the games? And I said, because I don't think I'm good enough Muslim to be a person to be listening. So I said, well, Islam makes you a better person what you have to do this,

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but it's like, Okay, anyway, I came back to Malaysia when we were in a long distance relationship for one year. So now

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we are supposed to be the same, like married in two months time.

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So I'm, I've never mentioned about Islam

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outright. So I just made a promise to read a book about Islam what they should be, and I honestly believe

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Until the party so I just thought for one year I never met, never talked about Islam at all, it was very different from the first day we're all we will talk about Islam. And the second year is nothing but nothing.

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Everything else

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LA and

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he has a lot of new values like even though

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he has a lot of values that a lot of ortho schemes don't have

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the values like he would even in

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to see change

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so, so tomorrow supposed to be with him and then my house is like a mess eager

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for me to have this idea that I know that I

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so I

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think for breakfast because I have

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two questions.

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the first obviously, is that he said the shopping for you? Yeah. Okay, so that's one. The second thing is that

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has he been studying with someone? No, he does. He doesn't want

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anybody Okay. Does he have any friends that Allscripts

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colleagues and his

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colleagues, they

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already like Mark and not repeat

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them because, you know, this, this situation happens a lot in South Africa.

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And normally, what I always encourage the brothers to do in which we are doing in Malaysia now also is that when someone becomes a Muslim, we asked one or two of the, of the members of the community to sort of, you know,

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sort of mentor them. Okay, so, you know, go and fetch them in the mornings for the machine, give them reminders, invite them to their homes, you know, those type of things in the month of Ramadan coming, have you fallen in my house, you know, a few nights, that type of thing. And I think that for for a lot of people that into into Islam, that's one of the biggest difficulties is that they don't have that social acceptance that they had, you know, before accepting Islam. So you know, when I when When, when, when I was a Christian, I wasn't a Christian, but I'm just saying, you know how to mitigate that when I was a Christian I used to go out with my friends we used to go to the balls

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we used to drink was to go clubbing together, you know, when I used to meet with my family on Christmas and Easter, you know, I had a social life. Okay with my friends or my family now that I'm a Muslim, what do I have?

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Okay, I've got my future wife and a few guys have looked at don't practice Islam and my family they score atheist school Christian, you understand the difficulty, you know, it just I understand it from this perspective as well. You know, he's difficult and then obviously you start making excuses you start saying well, you know, I'm not strong enough as a Muslim you know, I don't think I'll you know, I'm at that level that I need to be and you start you start justifying it in certain ways. So my advice to you, before you I don't know what else you wanted to say, but up to this point, my advice thus far would be that you know, try to get him involved with with an organization with

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people good people, you know, someone that you know, someone that can speak to him that he looks up to there will be there will be great as well.

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Okay, the other thing that I want to advise you about state is that obviously you've been in this relationship for a long time in motion and the the two of you are now you know, attached to one another, you know, you've developed feelings for one another that's you know, that's definitely there but

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and this is my advice to everyone into myself as well that

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we should never ever get married with the intention that we will change from

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the expectation that

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it's so bad

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for everything else for my husband now this

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site is really meant for me like who needs it?

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And suddenly like blood loss on the right, everyone's mutation. I think it's because of two years so I have no idea what to do because the time is coming where we should be together and it was amazing. Obviously, this the color What are we doing this the color we make two I would say a little lighter. This is good for me that facilitated for me, because and it was not good for me then, you know, keep me away from eternity.

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from him, so you're not not showing any true, you know, commitment to his Islam, you know, should we view that as being a new obstacle? I believe so. I believe that it is it is an obstacle, especially since you don't totally want a man or this man, you want a Muslim man, you want someone who's gonna you can look up to that's gonna guide you and help you practice your religion. So that is something important. And I think you need to make that very clear to him.

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He said, I will be very clear, he will be a Muslim. And he will only pray five times a day.

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Okay, can I take it upon myself that when he does move here that I speak to him?

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And I'm hoping that Julian will be back by then is a French brother was accepted Islam about a year ago? or less? I'm not sure. Less, more or less. Okay. So he's, he's in France now is in France. Now? Actually, maybe we should do that was Julian.

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was more complicated as we move along.

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Okay, I should have listened to you finish your question first.

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Because I want you to

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see what we can do. You know, we can get Julian to speak to him.

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Hopefully that will help as well. Shouldn't you lead someone to this? My question is

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that he's not the perfect who's the guy he is on your, on your journey? I would say I would say like I said earlier, the general rule that I give, I give men and women girls and boys, when they want to get married, I say don't get married with the intention. You want to train someone so that they become like you or the way that you want them to be okay. But if if a person gives the commitment that they will take, I think a perfect example, just one example. Okay, my friend

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My friend wants to do he actually this is very complicated.

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Okay, it's not that complicated.

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My friend was a Christian, and he was going out yet a Muslim dolphin. Okay. And they obviously were indulging in

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relation relations, and she became pregnant. So her family forced him to marry her. But before he could marry her, he needed to

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accept Islam. So he took the Shahada. He said,

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The law was I don't know Mohammed Rasulullah.

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And it's been, I don't know what, 15 years now. More or less, and he's full of practicing Islam.

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Are you with me? Why? Because no one ever got a commitment from him. No one really spoke to him. No one really encouraged me to just Okay, so your name was Aiden. Now your name is Aslam. Thank you, there we go.

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That's it. No one. I mean, I feel guilty because I've spent most of my time outside of South Africa. This is my friend who used to walk with me to primary school. Now he's a Muslim, and I don't have the time of day for him. I'm only inviting him to my classes. I'm not saying come to the masjid. You understand. I wasn't even living in the same part of the country as him anymore. So what I'm saying is that it's a process. And if you're if this person, you know, if this man is committed to that process, then you know, you should go ahead. But if he isn't, if it's if it's not, if it's not, if it's not realistic, then it's something that I feel that you know, you should you should rethink,

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and perhaps move on. Okay, any other questions? Can we go down?

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That's a good question.

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Some questions? Oh, written questions.

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That's not possible.

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This view will take notes questions from the audience. First of all, is

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I'm trying to keep that habit of seeing my morning and evening See here, I can understand our observation.

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But in situations when I have very limited time, which ones

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are for the impatient? I understand that doesn't seem very safe.

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Next question, is if we are concerned about

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A child's behavior and we should discuss it with our spouses. Would that be included as backbiting, you see that the the needs to be a distinction between backbiting and they'll see how you know, and finding a solution. Okay? If I say to my wife, my son is behaving very badly is being disobedient to his teachers. What are we going to do about it?

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Are you with me? So it's all about intention. It's about what I actually want to achieve. Let me give another example. So the sister asked me the question, let's say let's change it. But let's say she was saying to me that I want to marry this guy, you know, she points to someone. I know him. And she says to me,

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Tarik, what do you think of this man? What is your opinion of him?

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You know, do you think it's someone I should marry? So I know the guy. So I say to her, I say is my friend. So I say to her, no.

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He doesn't play

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per se, but

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I don't have to say, he doesn't play. He goes clubbing, he drinks, he lives in a house. That is sufficient as a reason for a Muslim woman or man, not to get married to someone, that person doesn't pray at all.

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Okay, so that's not the table. So in here, when I'm when I'm talking to my wife, we are having a constructive conversation about the behavior and what we have to do as a couple, to deal with our child and to to nurture him and to make sure that this behavior doesn't reoccur, then that's okay. But if I'm only complaining to my wife, about my son, that's backbiting.

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He never listens. That sounds like me.

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A guy that's

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not selling anything that has value or use

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value has no value or not, you

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know, our sports or obsessing about sports matches and beings that have no use included in this category and should be avoided.

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Sports matches even like the Super 14? Of course not.

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I find that the shark fairy view on this issue is perhaps the most enlightening in the Shafi school of thought. When they talk about sports, and they talk about, you know, watching sports and other things, they mentioned a few conditions, which I think is the fair balanced way to approach this because in reality, we do like entertainment. And we do like leisure. So what do they say they say, number one, that the sport itself must not include anything, which is how long okay? The sports should not lead to anything, which is how long nor should the sport or watching the sport keep you away from the maintenance of Allah. So let's say I'm in the rugby Stadium, because I love rugby. If

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I'm in the rugby Stadium, and I hear that, I know it's time for awesome. And I continue to watch the match while I'm watching like in unfortunately, in Ramadan, during the World Cup, you know, I would I would go to the masjid for a week and I'd see Muslim Brothers sitting and watching the game and I'd come back and I still see them sitting there watching the next game.

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So this is what the shafia ai mean. Or you see guys in the in the restaurants, they eating the drinking and smoking and on the machine side opposite the road. But I know they must is because they live around where I live, I greet them in the morning, I know them but they won't come for Salah. So that's what they needed keeps you away from the remembrance of Allah, if you can make sure that what you are viewing and what you are playing doesn't have those three things then should be fine. Also, by the way, remember that entertainment is a and sport is a portion of a Muslims life. It is what you do, just for you know to get the soul You know, energized you know and feel healthy and whatever

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it might be. It is not something I spent 10 hours of my day doing

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which is what happened in Ramadan unfortunately.

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Okay, not me, not me. I don't even have a TV at all.

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Yeah, let's go. Another question from the online

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viewing there's nothing from it Shafiq is Is it okay to kill pests in Islam if your job scope is

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It depends on what we classify as being pest. Okay. So firstly, any animal that is harmful there's going to harm your family, your home, like termites, as an example is going to get to is going to have your food supply those animals are permissible to to kill. The problem with this control is that it kills

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Everything, not only the animals that are causing harm to what you need to, to protect, because if you think about this, you know, best control, what do they do, they're not only put, like, let's say that they, they they catching rats, they put things around the entire perimeter of your property not only inside where you're trying to keep them out, okay? Also what we do is when we spray for ends, we spray everywhere we spray the ends all the way leading up to a kilometre down the road, I'm just exaggerating here, but you know what I mean? Like 3040 meters away from my house all the way till the end mound, you know, we killed them at the source. Now that is very important to understand that

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Islam, that is like one one principle is a borrow to, to cut through because it has a necessity is to be given its do. Its due like its due portion. It shouldn't, it shouldn't go past that. Let me give you another example. If I break my arm, and the doctor tells me that I only have to put a cost on this section of my arm, it is not permissible for me to put it all the way up to my elbow. Why?

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Because it will be difficult for me to to wash that part of my arm four, four will do it with me. So this happens all the time. Usually when you have if you in May Allah protect you. But if you didn't, if you needed something, you go back to, to what is necessary.

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Because many doctors will put a cost on you, you have brocato your whole leg will be in a cost. Okay, now the exaggeration, but you know what I'm saying? So be careful if I mean back to the pest issue, it is not permissible for Muslims to kill frogs, bees and ends. Okay, when are we allowed to kill these animals when they become pests? Not to go out looking for them in the wild and, you know, killing them they, okay, so the needs to be balanced. And the person who's involved in Pest Control needs to understand what is absolutely necessary, what is needed, and what is a

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What do they call a pre emptive sort of approach to to pest control, okay, so that all these things need to be understood. And this is why it's important that whatever proficient brothers and sisters, whatever profession you go into, make sure you consult someone knowledgeable.

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I cannot tell you how many people I've met five years after they've graduated and work in a profession, only to find out that it's not permissible

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to like when they look at you like you don't really

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like how come no one told me that because you didn't ask.

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That's the reason. Sounds simple. But that's the reason

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is that it

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one last shot on rocket for

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just brilliant. That one. anyone have any questions? One last question.

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So I want to

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get your advice on

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most of us as leaders

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in this world, having heroism bagginess

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How do we keep ourselves busy?

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How do we keep these

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Like you're drowning ourselves in our desires?

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What you don't have is a nice nice

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spot. Okay, I see. I see. So basically, drowning, drowning in our desires and doing what we want to do and things like that. I think Firstly, the first thing is that we need to educate ourselves. We need to become knowledgeable, we need to understand and do we need to we need to open up our eyes to the reality of this world. Okay, we need to wake up realize that we are drowning and then make the effort to stop drowning. Okay, that's basically where we are right now. You need to know that one of the most powerful things in drug counseling is for the addict to realize that he has a problem

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because one of the biggest problems with addicts and when I say adage we are all addicts we are all addicted to something okay, I might be addicted to not making Sala

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I could be addicted to that. I mean like it's so natural for me. I don't pray. And I find it very uncomfortable to pray that could be that could be what I'm addicted to. Someone else is gonna be addicted to alcohol. Someone's going to be addicted to pornography, some will be addicted to something else. We are addicts of something. Okay. So the first thing that you need to realize is that you are addicted that you

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Do I have a problem, that it is a problem and it is a major problem. And I'm hungry now the more knowledgeable you become useful to realizing what the dunya is. And then the second thing is begin to realize is how to live in the dunya. And then the third thing you'll realize is where you going, what you want to achieve.

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And the life you have that if you have those three things, to know where you are right now, to know what you need to do, and to know where you're going, then you'll be able to deal with that. The third, the second thing is that you need to surround yourself with people that will remind you of them. And give you one example, the man who killed 99 people, he went to a monk he said, you know, is any any repentance for me? The monk said no, then he killed the monk.

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Now, if anyone was drowning, and you know, was, was was just consumed by his son was this guy 100 people, and the Prophet didn't say radula Miata rajala. Notice I have this attend what is a Narayan? You said this and what is enough son, meaning he was killing men, women and children. He didn't care.

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But then they came at the realization that knowledge.

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Yeah, this is wrong. So he went to someone and say, What do I need to do on the path?

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Right, how do I need to get away from this lifestyle? I said, No, you have to leave this town go to another town. So he left the town. And as he was walking, going towards his destination, he died.

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But Allah had forgiven him. So he knew he had a problem. He found out what to do to get away from his problem. And ultimately, he started making steps to get to his destination. That's merely your that's all of us. That's where we need to be disciplined. Hello, hello. I hope to see all of you again soon in sha Allah was set out to work with the law. He