Taleem al Quran 2012 – P04 056C Tafsir Al-Nisa 19-21

Ministry of Energy Am I number 19?

Yeah, are you Hello, Dina Amanu or you have believed who is being addressed the believers and what does that mean? What does that mean?

It concerns us. And when Allah says yeah, you will know the menu, then an ordinary instruction has been given. Yeah, an important command is being given. Important instruction is being given. A prohibition is being given over here, prohibition. What is the prohibition that layer Hill Lula come it is not halal for you. It's not lawful for you what, and teresian Nyssa, that you inherit women Carnahan, by compulsion, that is all from well, raw, sir, what I said yet is to inherit, so it is not allowed for you to take women as inheritance by compulsion, meaning you're forcing this on them, that you are inheriting the women when, when their husbands or when their guardians have passed

away. Now, this does not mean that just as a house of a dead person is inherited by an individual. Likewise, his wife is also inherited by an individual that a person takes ownership of his house, and he also takes ownership of his wife. So he says, now you're my wife. This did happen in some cases. But what the AI is referring to, is taking guardianship of the woman by force, that a woman becomes a widow, and her dead husband's brothers, or cousins, or whoever they come, and they assume authority over her. And as a result, now they decide everything about her, if she gets married to someone, or she doesn't get married to someone, if she is going to stay in a house, or she's going

to go somewhere else, if she's going to own something or not own something, they assumed complete authority over her, they took complete guardianship of her and Gohan by compulsion, the woman would not like it. I mean, who could like that a strange man or her dead husband's brother comes and says, now go here, and don't get married and go marry this one. And don't do this. And I mean, she's an adult woman, a woman who is independent, it is her choice to make her own decisions. When it comes to a young girl who's a virgin who's never been married. For her her decisions are made by the Guardians. But for a widow or a divorced woman, she makes her decisions herself. And especially if a

woman owns some property, whether previously married or not, then she is the one who decides concerning her property, she is the one who has control, she has authority. So over here, the men are being prohibited that do not assume complete guardianship of a woman by compulsion. Now in pre Islamic Arabia, the deceased heirs would inherit the property of the deceased person. And they would also take full responsibility of his wife or wives, as well as daughters. So for example, they would, by force marry them. You know, the woman did not want to marry her brother in law, but he would be like, No, you have to become my wife, and everybody would force her into that marriage, and

she would have no choice but to marry him. And it was forced upon him, or, for example, the daughter, she will be forced into marriage with someone because the uncle is saying you have to you have no choice, or the grandfather is saying you have no choice. You understand complete authority dominance over them. And sometimes it would be done in different ways that for example, the woman would be confined to the house, or the daughters would be just left in the house, and they would not be allowed to get married at all. Why? Because they were afraid that if they get married somewhere else, and they're going to take their property with them, we just want them to stay here so that

when they die, this property becomes who's ours, this is what they wanted. So Allah says, it is not allowed for you to take women in this manner Gohan by force, because when it comes to a woman's marriage, or her property, a decision concerning her life, okay, then you cannot force it on her. She has a right in the decision making. Because if Anika is forced on a woman, and that's not Nica, a woman complained to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, about how she was forced into marriage with someone in the prophets of Allah so immediately, and all that marriage, he finished it. So a woman cannot be forced into a marriage. This is why Karahan is said, we're not our Guru Hoonah and do not

make difficulties for them. Why would you make difficulties for them? liters have also that you can take the bow the sum of that which man they to move on, that what you have given them, that you make life so difficult for them that they want to get out of that situation, and as a result, they return

To you, whatever you give them. What does this mean? The word taboo is from Ebola and other is to prevent to stop to hinder someone. How? By making difficulties for them. That for example, if you know you want to go somewhere with your friends, and you say, Mom, can I go? She says, I'm not driving you, you can walk all the way.

It's a half an hour walk. And it's freezing outside. Why do you think your mom is saying you can walk? She doesn't want you to go, right? Or if she says, Yeah, you can go after you're done all your chores, and you know that it's gonna take you a whole day, you won't be able to complete your chores and then go, Why is she making that difficulty for you so that you can't go, alright, you know what I'm talking about, okay, this is what Allah is. So Allah says to the men, that all men do not make difficulties for who for the women

do not make life difficult for them.

Many husbands are guilty of this crime, where they made lives of their wives, so difficult, so miserable, that the women desperately want to get out of that relationship, and they will do anything to get out of it. You know, domestic abuse is involved, right? Or, for example, a woman is not allowed to come out of her room. She's not allowed to go out of the house, she's not allowed to drive, she's not allowed to study, she's not allowed to call she's not allowed to use a computer. She's not allowed to meet her family, her family is not allowed to come to her house. These kinds of difficulties are imposed upon women. And dear sisters, it happens today. Why do some men do this, to

take advantage of the woman?

Especially what's the reason mentioned over here, so that you can take some of that which You have given them?

What have the men given to the wives? The Maha.

Now, if the man divorces the wife, then what did we learn earlier, that he cannot take back the MaHA she takes the mother with her. But if the woman seeks divorce, if the divorce is initiated by her, because she doesn't like him, she doesn't want to be with him. She's not happy with him, then in that case, she has to give back the mush. Isn't that so? Now, some men, they don't like their wives, they're just off them know, they're bored of them, or they just don't get along with them, or the wife has done something which they can never forgive, or they're interested in someone else, whatever the story is. And if they divorced the woman,

then they will look so evil.

The whole Did you see that? So and So man, so until brother he divorced his wife, they will look so evil. So then what do they do? They make the life of the woman so difficult. You can't go here why? I said, so. I said, so you can't do this. Why I said so. And if the woman, you know, speaks up or something, she is physically abused. Basically, she is deprived of her rights, so much. So to the point that she says, I want to get out of it. I don't care if I have children with him. I don't care if after divorce, I'm all by myself. I just want to get out of this relationship. This is like a living hell for me. Doesn't it happen with so many women, that they're desperate, they're desperate?

And they just want to get out of that relationship? And then what do they do? They will give them a hug back to the man. And then what will everybody believe? She took the divorce? Do you see what I mean? So this way, the man doesn't look bad. He's getting the money back. All right. And she's so bad. She saw evil. She left the house. Look, she ruined her family.

So this is basically men manipulating the woman, men abusing the rights that they have been given or abusing the law of Allah, you understand, misusing the law of Allah and many people do this. So Allah says, do not do this. Do not make life difficult for her, just so that you can get some money from her. How ridiculous is that?

In law, except only one situation where a man is allowed to do this, that he doesn't give divorce until she asks for divorce. And that is a Deena that they commit before he shot a MOBA Hina. Clear evidence out word, indecency. What does this refer to furnish at the mobile unit fascia we learned earlier is used for Zina

that a man sees his wife committing Zina.

Now, we learned early that four witnesses have to be brought right now, man, he cannot bring witnesses. And if he's seen his wife coming in such an eye Do you think he's going to call other men to witness I mean, it's not gonna happen right? And if he cannot prove her guilty, how can he continue to live with her? If he knows that his wife is cheating him?

And it happens today. If a man knows that his wife is cheating him, then how can he live with her? He wants to get rid of her. Now, if he divorces her, what's going to happen? She's going to take them out. Right? And at the same time, she is the one who is guilty. You understand? So is it fair for the husband? That a he loses a wife? And B, he loses the money to? Is it fair? It's not fair, right? Because in this situation, who was misusing the law, the woman?

Do you see what I mean? So in that case, the husband has a right to make life a little difficult for her, not that he abuses her and hits her and whatever. No, there are other laws that are present to guide the men. Okay. But he has the right to do that, so that the wife wants to get out of that relationship. And for that, she will give them out. All right.

Illa. Tina, before Hashem MOBA, you know, now, fascia over here has been understood as Xena. It has also been understood as Sudarshana, that when a woman does not, you know, behave well with him, she does not treat him nicely. She does not give him the due respect, she does not live with him in a good manner. She does not live like a spouse lives like a wife lives. You know, for example, if the husband says, So what are we having for dinner today? I don't know. Why are you asking me to make dinner? Make it yourself? I'm not your servant. What do you think you are? Who do you think you are? And if the husband says anything, I've just my laundry done? What? How dare you ask me. Like she

treats him as if he's a kid, to see what I mean. She treats him as if he is a nobody. And it happens. It happens where the men are being oppressed by their wives. This happens as well, where the men are being abused by their wives. I'm not saying physically, but in another way. So if a woman behaves like this, she does not treat him like a husband, she does not give him the due respect, she does not listen to him. He says, do not do this. And she does it anyway.

He says, Do not speak to this person. Because when you speak to them, you end up saying things that you should not say, or they end up influencing you in the wrong way. It's not a good relationship that I see between the two of you. So if he says and she doesn't listen, whatever.

Or if she's doing drugs, she's smoking or something, and he says, Don't do it. If you do it, I'm not going to be happy at all. But she does it anyway, whatever rules he tries to set for her for the family for the well being of the children, she disregards them completely. Then in that case, he has a right to get rid of her. And if he wants to, if he divorces her, then again she's going to take them along with her. It's not fair, he loses her and he loses the MA. So in that case, he can make life a little difficult for him in the maruf manner until she will seek divorce and return them uh huh. Otherwise, Allah says wha she wouldn't have been more aloof and live with them in a manner that

is approved, is you don't wanna, I shouldn't wonder this is from mashallah Irene Shinra and Moraga shut off. This involves two groups, that both parties are living with one another, in what manner in a manner that is approved, approved by the Islamic law approved by the society by the family by the culture, both have to live in a good way. Because some women, they expect their husbands to be very good, and they can do whatever they want. And some men expect their wives to be very good, and they can do whatever they want, isn't it so that people are always demanding their rights and neglecting their duties, their responsibilities. So Allah says, you know, wouldn't have been my rule, that this

is both sided, the man has to live with the woman in a good way. And the woman has to live with the man in a good way. The husband has to treat her like a wife and she has to treat him like a husband both respect one another are good to one another are affectionate towards one another responsible for each other, caring towards one another because this is only how a relationship can survive. And Marsha Robin model is in three ways. First of all through call that when you speak, speak decently speak respectfully. Speak in a nice way, even when you argue don't argue with your husband like you would argue with your brother. Okay? If when you're asking them to do something, don't ask them to

do it as you would ask your younger brother. Did you do the garbage? Why didn't you do it? How many times have I told you? This is not correct?

Don't speak to him like you would speak to somebody else. Goal. Likewise the husband when he should speak to her in a nice manner. You know some people they are boss at work.

work under boss at home, they keep the same kind of demeanor everywhere they go. They treat their wife the same way they will treat their co workers or they will treat people who are under them in work. This is not the correct way. Or for example, a woman will treat her husband like she will treat her friend. And then the husband gets offended. Remember that men, all men, whether Muslim or not have something known as ego. This is built in this is within their fitrah you can see they hate being disrespected, especially by women. They hate being disrespected, they cannot tolerate that. And they want to be you know, the, the hero.

Okay, I was watching this video that he has to cut in which he was mentioning about, you know, if there is a leaky faucet or something, don't say to your husband, you can't do it, you're gonna do it. You can't figure that out. Never say that. Even if he doesn't know how to use, you know, a screwdriver and you're better at it. But still, don't discourage him. Don't give that message to him that you're nothing, you can't do anything. You're not good enough for me never get that message across to never at all. So as you wouldn't have been maruf. So first of all the N word. Secondly, in action in Ferren, Ferrell also has to be mortal. And thirdly, by the spending on one another, there

are some women that just want their husbands to spend on them. Okay? Isn't the you should also give a gift to him? No harm. Women are always looking at how much money their husbands are making. I mean, if you're making money, or if your husband gives you money, then come on, it's read, get him a gift. It's okay. Or you know that he really, really wants a nice carwash to get him a car wash coupon, it's okay, relax, you know, you can also spend on your husband, he's spending so much on you, you can also do that. So as you wouldn't have been well, then Allah says for inquiry to Hoonah, then if you dislike them, the men are being told that if you dislike your wives got to move from

Graha you dislike them? Let's say a man. You know, his mom told him that I found someone very beautiful for you. And she's the perfect fit for you. And he says, Mom, whatever you say, I agree. You decide who I should marry. Okay. He's in a different country. She's in a different country. Now he comes and they get married. And when he sees her, he's like,

okay, decent. But I mean, I'm not really a fan. You know, if he says that I don't really like her the way she looks or the way she talks or the way she behaves. It's possible that eventually, this repulsed by it for whatever reason, like he doesn't like her. It happens in many Muslim families, that the man has never seen the woman until the day of the marriage. Never seen her. But we learned that in the Sunnah. What is recommended that before a man gets married to a woman, he must see her, even if she wears niqab. He has a right to see her face. You know that? Even if she wears niqab. So let's say nothing like that happened. And then he ends up getting married, and he related realizes

big mistake. But how can things be undone when they've gone so far? And he tries to talk to his mother and she says, What are you talking about? It's going to be so bad, you know, if you divorce her, and you can just divorce her over her looks, when it's like really, I don't like her. I just don't. It's possible, right? Or it's possible that at the beginning, they loved one another and then eventually when she became pregnant, and she bore children and her body was not as beautiful as it was before. Or she became a little you know, impatient because of the difficulties that she's going through the stress that she's bearing. So he's like, I can't tolerate her. I can't tolerate her

attitude. I mean, if it's a friend, you can avoid them. If it's a sibling, again, you can avoid them, but how can you avoid your spouse? You can try. So Allah says, are encouraged to move on. Even if you dislike them.

There's something about that really annoys you. turns you off, to move on. Then fossa and Dakhla who che and it's quite possible that you dislike something when you're Allah, Allah houfy, Highland cathedra. But Allah makes in it much good.

That it's possible you don't like that individual at all. But Allah put so much good in them in that relationship that you have with them, that you get benefits through that relationship that you never expected you never imagined.

And it has happened with many people that were a woman had something about her husband, but she tolerates she accepts she's like, Nevermind, it's okay. Life is not perfect. Anyway, everyone has their imperfections. So she tolerates the imperfections no matter how much he dislikes them, but that relationship proves to be so good for her. Let's say the husband is extremely ugly, but he is very caring, or he is gives her the freedom to do whatever she wants. He supports

Certain her studies in her work, she's very successful in that, where there are lovey laden cathedra like was a man does not like his wife at all, physically, whatever mentally, whatever the differences, he just does not like her. But he still tolerate sir. And then Allah Subhana Allah blesses him with the most beautiful obedient child. It's quite possible. So what's the lesson over here we learn. The lesson is that it's not necessary that you like everything that is in your life.

Right? It's not necessary, that you like and you love everything that happens to be in your life, there will be things you like, there will be things that you don't like, people, circumstances, objects, place that you live, whatever, some you like others you don't like. And this is a reason why there has to be some level of tolerance. You have to tolerate some people, you have to tolerate some places, you have to tolerate some things, you have to tolerate some circumstances. Because if you don't tolerate my dear sisters, you can't survive anywhere. And this is the reason why we see the divorces have become so common. So common, people have zero tolerance. You know, my wife, her

noses like this, I just don't like her nose, and the lock, the lock the lock, my husband, he failed, he hasn't even completed his degree. He's a university dropout. Such a loser. He doesn't even have a car. I can't live with this man. But you made the decision yourself. Yeah, I was young, I was naive, I didn't know any better. I can't tolerate him anymore. You have to tolerate.

You know, a marriage is not a small contract. It's a major contract. It's not a small contract, it's very major. It doesn't come about easily. And it should not be broken easily, either. It's a commitment that you've made. And when you've made a commitment with someone or something, there will be times when you will not like something where things will be against your wishes against your desires. Not just because something goes against your desire does not mean you cut it off.

This is just like a person who has people working for him. And if someone doesn't do their job on time, or is late a day, or you know does something wrong, Fire Fire Fire Fire, who will he be left with no one who will do his work? No one, he will constantly be in that stage of you know, getting new people and training them and firing them. Is this business going to succeed? Not at all. Now, habits you can tolerate. You don't like the way someone eats, you don't like the way they clean their teeth. You don't like the way they make their hair. You don't like the way they dress up. You can tolerate these things. But when it comes to, for example, Salah for Reba, you were trying

persistently to guide them to the right way, but they're not listening.

Then in that case, do you have the right to seek divorce immediately or to give divorce? Again, one should be patient, give time, think about how long you took.

Make dua for them, keep trying, eventually, time will come. And as long as it doesn't affect you in the sense that they're not stopping you. You know, think about the persecution that asiyah went through. Her husband persecuted her so much. As long as they're not committing Cowfish

you should tolerate them, and you should help them get better. And there are many examples, many stories of how women have helped their men become righteous and men have helped their women become righteous. But these days, there's so much intolerance that a woman if she does not cover her face, she's given a choice between divorce and niqab. You know, either you were in a club or you're divorced. I've seen this myself.

That where a girl is being forced, and numerous examples, not just one, numerous examples I've seen where a woman is being forced to do something against her will. She covers her head she wears in a bio. I mean, she doesn't know she should wear in a club where her heart is not settled at it. Okay, there is an opinion that it's why do you have other results and opinion that it's mostly her. So if she's not willing, you can't force her and you can't threaten her with divorce for God's sake. This is not something that means that you should divorce her. And so much difficulty is created. You can't step out of the house until you put it on. You can't go in front of your brother in law until

you put it on. And you can't just wear colored hijab you have to wear the big blacks are the one even though you may have a headache, even though you may bump into things because you can't see because people are different, right?

So this kind of intolerance is something that is not correct in any kind of relationship. Children make mistakes you tolerate students make mistakes, tolerate neighbors make mistakes tolerant. If you start calling the cops and every little thing you want they'll do anything in your life. Other people will run away from you, you will be left alone.

So this is a very important lesson that we learn. And always remember, there might be something that you hate about the other individual, but still Allah has placed much good in them. Look at the brighter side that okay? If they don't go to the masjid five times a day, at least your husband praise salah.

Okay, you've been after him, study the Quran, study the Quran, study the Quran for years and years, at least be grateful that he recites the Quran, or at least be grateful that he lets us study to see what I mean. And gradually, the time will come.

It will come. We forget how long we took. And we want other people to change overnight. So tolerance has to be there.

We're in autumn, and if you intended from the word irida, to intent, if you intended, the men are being addressed is the Vidal as the origin to exchange a wife, McCann has ojen in place of a wife, meaning you have a wife, there's something that you dislike about her. What is a man advice that he should tolerate her? But if it grows to a point where he's not able to?

Do you see what I mean? It's quite possible, right? Some things you can tolerate other things you can't. Like, for example, the wife was extremely disrespectful.

She hit the husband, or she, you know, said something extremely disrespectful to him or to his parents or to his siblings.

And he tries to tolerate that he tries to get over it, he tries to forgive her, but he just can't. He can't. He gives a time when he just can't. And in that case, it's like, life has to move on. And it becomes so difficult that divorce has to take place. All right. And this is the reason why the permission of divorce is there. If we were to only tolerate and divorce would not be allowed to see what I mean. And remember that life is not a fairy tale. Okay, where two people love one another, eventually a time comes where they're not in love with one another.

And they've accepted it.

Or where a man was very happy with his wife a day comes when he just doesn't want her in his life anymore, or the wife doesn't want him in her life anymore. So if it's gotten to such a point, a man wants to divorce his wife, and instead take another wife. What are they doing? And you gave them one? No one of them which one of them the one whom you intend to divorce? You gave her at the time of marriage been born? What is the thought a great amount. We have done this word earlier. You have given her a great amount as Maha. Then when you're divorcing her Falletta who the woman who do not take anything from it.

Meaning she hasn't committed a fascia because of which you're divorcing her.

There's other reason and you have decided to divorce her. And at the time of marriage, you gave her up and thought Allah says do not take anything of it. Not half of it, not a quarter of it. Not any fraction of it. You can't take any of it for that the other women who say

that who don't know who would you take it both Dannon in injustice. What if Mum Albina and manifests in Bhutan is from the rulers by Hatha and Bhutan is a false accusation. Remember the word Bolita. For muita. Lady Kufa, he was dumbfounded. Because when someone is accused, they're dumbfounded like, what? I never did that. I never said that. So if a man is designed to divorce his wife, but he wants the money back from her, all of it, or part of it, a fraction of it, whatever, but he knows he can't take it legally. So he says, you know, she hangs out with other men. I don't like that. She's an akorbi a hijabi. And you're saying she hangs out with other men.

But then

some men go to the point of accusing their wives of being lesbians. Yes. But then Allah says you take it through Baudin what is my Medina and a clear sin? Meaning, you know you're doing wrong, you have no right over that. Well, you're falsely accusing her just so that you don't look bad and you can get some money. It's mama Urbina. Okay for those who don't know who and how can you take it back? How dare you take it back? How can you even think of taking any part of that model back? What can I ask Barbara to Camila Barb, while you have gone in unto one another, after is from the room letters fell last year. And after Vodacom some of you have reached ILA bow to others, meaning you

have reached one another to an extent that none reaches except a spouse. This is referring to the intimate relations between a man and woman meaning

You have been alone with one another you have gained much pleasure. You have had a lot of good time. How can you even think of accusing her falsely, just to take some money from her at this point? How could you even think of doing it? You've benefited from her. And when you've benefited from her, then you have to give her the Muslim you can't take it back.

So how can you were 100 and they took men come from you Meetha Cunha, Leila, a solemn covenant, Meetha covenant and allele, very strong, very studied meaning at the time of Nica, they took from you a very solemn covenant, because the contract of Nica, like I mentioned earlier is not an ordinary one. It's a very strong one.

It doesn't happen easily. The Guardian has to be there the witnesses have to be there, right ejabberd Qubool have to be done. So, so many conditions of Nica.

So, how can you go on and break a dislike that how can you go on break it just to get money? This is incorrect.

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