Channel: Shady Alsuleiman
Family matters conference, Durban, South Africa, March 2015
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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi as mine. Usually my name gets me into a lot of trouble whenever I get it shared in Arabic, but in our as they say You damned if you do You damned if you don't share in order means marriage and Sherry in English, you know what it means. So it's a common Arabic name it means Sadie Bowers three is in Pakistan. Every time someone tells me up Kenan kiya, what's your name? I'll say, Shadi. And just people give me this week looks like has your name marriage who would want to name his name marriage, by hamdulillah tend to be shady. And thank Allah azza wa jal, he
gives me the opportunity to stand before my brothers or my sisters, to share with them some of the thoughts of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and what Islam tells us, because my brothers and my sisters, Islam is a comprehensive religion, in all aspects of life. Please keep that in your mind.
What makes Islam so unique and different from the rest of the religions, the rest of the religions came to connect you between you and you cry and he stops over there. What's your relation between you and God, your relationship between you and the crier, but Islam goes beyond that is time came to connect us between us and allow the creator and connect us between us and the rest of the creation of Allah. And this is the beauty and the uniqueness of this religion. It connects you between you and Allah azza wa jal you load.
And it betters that relationship between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala, impels that relationship, to be connected to Allah, your Lord, your Creator. And obviously that connection is the most important connection.
But then Islam as part of your connection to Allah, He connects you with the rest of the creation of Allah, say connect you with yourself. It makes you find yourself. Because when you are part of Islam,
and you are part of this beautiful religion, you connect to yourself, before you're a Muslim, or before you connect yourself to Allah azza wa jal, the honest truth is you are disconnected from yourself. And that's why you find a lot of people resort to suicide, because of this fact. They disconnected from the answers. Yes, they are themselves, they live within themselves, but they see this disconnection, the moment they become Muslims, or they become practicing Muslims, then they feel that connection between them and themselves. How many times how many times Alhamdulillah, I encountered people becoming Muslims. In Australia, we average that every single day. Every single
day in Australia, we have one or two people embracing Islam and hamdulillah. At my center alone, I have two three people embracing Islam every single week. So how many times I sit down with those new reverts are those who want to become Muslims. And they've got these queries and questions over Islam. And we talk to them. And there's a panel at the moment that says the Shahada start growing. The Shahada, we utter with, which is for us is like a simple word on the tongue. But the moment they say the Shahada, Otto was the Shahada. Let's start growing he asked him, you asked them so many times, why are you weeping and crying? So they'll say it and now I found myself.
Now I found what I've been looking for for a very long time. So Islam came to connect you, between you and yourself. And then he wants you to be connected to the close ones, to your parents, to your children, to your spouse, to your wife, to your husband, connect you with your brothers, your sisters, connect you with the neighbors, connect you with the Muslims connected with the non Muslims. Not only that, but look how beyond and how great this religion is. Look how far this religion went to. Even Islam connects you to the environment, and even told you about the animals. No religion spoke about the relationship of human beings and the environment and the relationship of
human beings and the animals the way Islam did. This is the beauty of this Deen. This is Islam. Allah azza wa jal, he says in the Dena in the loyal Islam, the only religion to Allah subhanho wa Taala and accepted by Allah is Islam.
follow you Bella men, and whoever takes in a religion beside Islam as a religion.
Allah azza wa jal will not accept from them, my brothers or my sisters, the different things in our lives, the different angles and aspects in our lives. And Allah subhanho wa Taala wants us to be connected to all of them, but there's got to be that balance. There's got to be that balance in every cell allow me says wherever you find the riff, which is forbearance.
More or less balanced in something, then you see it beautiful. You see the balance there? Islam wants us to be balanced in our dealings, even when it comes to our lives our journey. Allah subhanho wa Taala will not accept imbalanced worship, Allah azza wa jal would not even accept that you worship him more than what you should be worshiping Him. In other words, a load lighter from you that you fast every single day, in every song was against Allah subhanho wa Taala would like to inform you that you pray from Aisha, all the way to Fisher, Allah Who would like accept that from you, there's got to be that balance. And when I say Allah would not accept from me, I'm not saying
you Salah is incorrect, and you fasting is incorrect, but that's not the way of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam, there's got to be moderation. There's got to be balanced in everything that we do.
And that's why there's got to be that balance and moderation. Everything that we do in everything that we offer, and our approach and strategy and everything. Work as ellika Jana Come on Matan wasa for that we made you a moderate, balanced nation, Allah praised this great honor, which is the greatest nation of all nations, because it's moderation because of its balance. And then that's why it comes in that component, and your role to be played in Islam, as a man and as a woman, as men and women, males and females. Allah Subhana Allah to Allah in the Quran, Kareem in many verses when he speaks about righteous believers, when he speaks about pious servants when Allah subhanaw taala
speaks about piety and righteousness. It is enough in the Arabic language to talk about the grip of mouth mouth believers or male Muslims were Allah xojo say, believing men or believers in general and that can also refer to the men and women. By you find in verses in the Quran, Allah Kareem Allah subhana wa tada specifically mentioned and Muslim in a while Muslim at male Muslims and female Muslims, Walmart mininova minute male believers and female believers well harsh, harsh, pious from the female males and PI's from the females. While most of the Tina omotoso decart does you deny it from the males and those who deny it from the females? Allah azza wa jal also says Miami Dasani Han
means that Karina on the way home I mean, on Fallon ohana, Eva, whoever does a righteous action from a male believer or a female believer, we will give them a happy life. So he Allah Subhana Allah specifically mentions not only the male believers, but Allah subhanaw taala also speaks about the female believers. Why did Allah Subhana Allah speak about the female believers, when the Arabic understanding and the discourse of the Arabic language that when you refer to the men, you could also include more women, Allah Subhana Allah wants you to understand, as a man and as a woman, as a male, as a female, as a brother, as a sister, as a husband, as a wife, as a father, as a mother, as
a mother, that every single one of us has a role to play in society and in Islam. Every single one of us has a role to play when it comes to upholding the deen of Allah azza wa jal, and in the community in the society, not only men who are responsible, but it's men and women, brothers and sisters, husbands and wife, Allah subhanho wa Taala. He descends this responsibility upon us all, regardless of where our men or women, however, their responsibility differs. Their responsibility differs from one gender to the other gender. At the end, even though they might have their differences when it comes to their responsibility. They both complement one another, the both can
play to one another, the birth perfect one another, the difference between Islam and other religions and other societies, that the difference between the two genders. And what Islam perceives as the two genders, the two genders are there to complete one another. So there is that done for them for shortcomings of one gender or the other gender supplements that the other gender completes that. However, in other societies, the relationship between the two genders is a competitive. It's a competitive relationship, where the man wants to excel the woman or the woman wants to excel the man. And that's why we say these days, the woman want to be at the front wants to be ahead of the
man, or the man wants to be ahead of the woman. No, no, no, no. And Islam says no, both of you have equal rights. Both of you need to be at the forefront. However, each one of you come
limits, and each one of these supports one another. This is the relationship of a man and a woman in Islam. This is the relationship of a husband and a wife. This is the relationship of a brother and a sister. Both of them are on one road. Both of them are on 100 different lines to one destination.
Both of them are on one road, in different lines to one destination. This route is Islam, the destination is the pleasure of Allah. And this is the beauty of Islam, where everyone can play to one another.
Everyone complements one another. And the beauty of Islam that Allah azza wa jal made the responsibility of Islam lay on the shoulders of every single male and female.
For that Allah subhanho wa Taala makes mentioned in the Quran, Allah Kareem of the men and the woman where Allah azza wa jal could have only say the men but in Arabic language when Allah says Muslim in the author refers to the Muslim Earth, but Allah subhanaw taala specifically mentioned the Muslim at minute carnita Akasha, for the sake of the female to know and the woman Tina, that have a big role to play when it comes to Islam.
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam illustrates that in his Hadith, he says could look homeline wakulla kamasan Allah at
every single one of you is responsible. And every single one of you is responsible for their responsibility. And then he says Allah Allahu alayhi wa sallam, one module Orion, all on Allah, Yeti, and the man he is responsible, and he is responsible for his responsibility. And then he says, Well,
why am I sold out on an early beta, and the female, the woman, she's also responsible, and she's responsible for her responsibility, and her responsibility is a household and what is internally inside the household. You've always got the external factors, and you've got the internal factors. Allah Subhana, Allah gave each gender, Allah Subhana, Allah gave the men the responsibility more or less of the external factors. At the same time, this man cannot survive if he does not have someone to look after his internal factors. And that's the female that's the women in Islam. Both of them complete one another. Both of them complement one another. Allah Subhana Allah created each one in a
different form in a different shape. Allah crafted them in a different form and shape where each one of them needs the other and together, hand in hand together working together that could make and perfect this society and community that we are all responsible for. Allah subhana wa Tada. He says, in Allah Allah moneta, Allah subhana wa T will all dlg Ban barbarina Amina Amina Mohammed Al inside inna who can have a lumen Jolla, we had offered distrust and Allah refers to distrust as the Quran as Islam as La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah Elias as we had offered this trust to the heavens, to the earth to the mountains, then Allah azza wa jal says, and the heavens the earth, the mountains
could not even carry or bear this trust. It's too heavy for the heavens, the earth and the mountains to carry. So Allah says Bahama hell inside, in return, this human being this tiny creature, in comparison to the heavens, the earth and the mountains, this order to carry it, this tiny creature said, I'll take around your Allah, I'll take this responsibility, say it's a responsibility shared upon everyone. And this is the beauty of Islam. We don't have a caste system. We don't have hierarchy system. We don't have superiority of anyone ever anyone, the brothers, the sisters, the men, the women, the rich, the poor, the weak, the strong, every single one of us has the same amount
of responsibility and role to play when it comes to Islam. All of us. Yeah yohannes in the coming decade in ba ba,
ba ba ba later arafa in Chroma come in de la kocoum Allah azza wa jal, he sets his record straight.
Allah Subhana Allah Allah sets his records and principles very straight and clean in which Allah says, or people or mankind, we have created you from male and female. This is a last way you can change it. We made you partners. We made you equal shared partners in the document that
we made you from male and female men and women
What's up and wakaba?
We made you different tribes, different clans and nations so you could recognize one another. We made amongst you why black, brown, Asian, African European, not for some of the things that are more superior than anyone else, for the only reasons that you could recognize each other. Then Allah azza wa jal makes it very clear in Chroma come in de la he attack on the bus, honorable one to Allah. The most honorable one to Allah is the one that feels alarmist. Whether you're a woman or a man, whether they are black or white, rich or poor, the most honorable one to Allah is the one that fees Allah subhanaw taala most, but if you see and analyze the structure, that Allah Subhana Allah crafted this
human being, Allah azza wa jal structured and unlocked crafted the man different than the woman in some areas, where you find the weakness of the man is the strength of this woman.
And the strength of this woman is the weakness of the man. And the strength of this man is the weakness of this woman. And both of them complement each other. They need to understand each other,
they need to understand each other. And this is where sometimes we get it wrong. We struggle to understand one another, the husband struggles to understand the wife, the wife struggles to understand the husband, the husband wants the wife to think of him and deal with him the way his friends deal with him.
And the wife wants the husband to deal with her the way her friends deal with her. And this is where we get it wrong. This is where the imbalance happens. And what happens with this imbalance, that's where instability takes place. That's why you start finding marriages, husband and wife divorce, after they've loved each other, they either turn against each other, always say it, we married them on the weekends, and we divorce them on the weekdays,
marry them on the weekend, then by the end of the week, come and want to get divorced Subhanallah what's happening at one stage, you will need to die for one another now you will need to kill each other.
This imbalance here, this instability.
There is no right balance. Why? Because there's a fine line in between the moment you start stepping into the other side. That's where imbalance takes place.
That's when the scale starts to tip. And that's why we need to start understanding each other. One of the common issues that we have is that the brother wants his wife to think of him the way he thinks of his friends. And the wife wants to think of she wants the husband to think of her the way her friends or the way she grew up. In other words, sometimes and this is something I find to be a big challenge. A brother who is married to his wife, he talks to his wife the way he talks to his mates. Come on bro.
Come on. Lucky in a rough, tough the way he talks to his mates, jokes around with his wife as if he's joking around with his bandmates. See, this is where now you are tipping the scale. He has gone beyond your boundaries. And then you've got the female in which Allah Subhana Allah created with more emotions, more passion, more emotions and passion, she always expect the husband to be always emotional. In other words, she wants to ask me to be in a figure of a man, but with the emotions of females. Now we tipping the scale once again, we need to have the balance here.
We need to have the balance here. The man has something that the woman doesn't have. And the woman has something that the man doesn't have. Both of them need to complete each other. Always think about it. Subhana Allah hamdulillah I'm married, and I've got two boys. There's no way of taking care of my boys. The way my wife takes care of him. I don't have the emotion she's got I said within 10 minutes I run away.
But the works of Hannah law she sits down hours and hours and hours. And the child does all the witness of things. And the mother still there for them. If it was for the man can imagine it's the man that falls pregnant and the man that looks after the children. I don't think these children will last more than one month.
But the balance the balance Allah gave this female amazing to the Christ of Allah law. In Santa Fe santaquin. We have created this human being in a perfect in a perfect shape. These are the words of Allah subhana wa Taala He created us so perfect. And our perfection is not independent, but depends on everyone.
Our perfection is not independent, but our perfection depends on one another, some or weakness
Is your strength, my strength is your weakness. And both of us complement one another. This is the beautiful relationship of Muslims and Islam. This is what Islam sees and perceives the relationship between husband and wife. Both of them work together. And can you imagine?
If the woman
can you imagine if this female undertakes the responsibility of the man, how far is she gonna go?
How far would she go, she wouldn't go too far. We cannot mix our responsibilities. But before that, we need to understand each other's responsibilities. And that's why Islam teaches me married my responsibility towards my wife, and my wife's responsibility towards me. And there is a line in between a fine line, no one is allowed to step in the territory of someone else, otherwise, they'll be imbalanced and instability.
And you find most of the marriages break. Most of the marriages fall because the husband does not take responsibility of him being a husband. And the wife does not take the responsibility of ebina wife, especially in a modern society, where the man and the woman want to become too liberal. They in our UK could be a man and a woman at the same time. I could be a woman and a man at the same time. There's nothing that's gonna stop me. And the moment you say anything about that, he'll be attacked a homophobe. You are this anti female feminists, this and all this new terms that's coming out. You are anti this, anti that, but this is the nature that Allah has created us. Allah subhanaw
taala perfected are we trying to perfect something ever what Allah Subhana Allah had perfected, you have a role. I have a role, he has a role. And we all can play each other and complement each other.
And you look at the time of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam, the role of the Sahaba and the role of the Sahaba yet the role of the men and the role of the women together and Assam dealt with them. And both of them will attend the gathering of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam at once. And I'm very disappointed to see that a woman have been marginalized and sidelined. Our women have been marginalized and sidelined, as if they've gotten their place for them in the masjid. Or in our centers. When the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in foster when an AVI sallallahu alayhi wa sallam allowed it, that he Allah is salatu wa sallam, he says, Do not prevent the female
slaves of Allah from the houses of Allah. Now we want to prevent them and marginalize them in society sideline them as if they've got nothing to do with Islam and the Tao of Islam. The other most important component when it comes to the Tao of Islam.
That integral path when it comes to the Tao of Islam, who teaches our children who looks after our children, our children, the new generation, the future, if we can erect the spiritual garden a future
if we're gonna destroy this future by destroying those who upbringing the future, then we've got a future.
Look at the character of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam, when a man comes to him and tells him on messenger of Allah, he has more rights over my friendship than everyone else in every cell Alliance and it doesn't mean mother. Then he says, Our messenger of Allah, then Allah will be some loss of doesn't your mother, never he says, Our messenger of Allah then who, then in a piece on the line, it was Allah for the third time he says your mother, then he says, our missing job Allah then who said the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it and then your father, three times, your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, why? Because it maybe some of them can see
the importance of the role of the mother in bringing up new generations.
How can we sideline our engine? How can we sideline our teachers of the new generation, this is where it becomes instability, imbalanced. We need to keep that moderation and balance that Allah Subhana Allah praises us with.
During the term of the provider is salatu wa sallam. A group of the female sat down together and they complain so one of them came and spoke to the LA Salatu was lodging a complaint to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam citing our messenger of Allah, the men are always with you. They fought with you, they travel with you, they sit with you, they hang out with you. And as women we don't even get any attention to us. You're not giving us any extra attention. What can you give us one lesson that's only for us as females. Can you imagine a sister these days go on to speak into one of the one of the mowlana we
One Alison asked for the sisters a lot what's gonna happen then?
Big problem, big taboo.
Women, given special lesson nurse, continue cooking. That's a that's why you might fall. If that's why you think that might fall, then you've gotten a place in living on the surface of serfdom.
He brought it up. He told you, he directed you, he guarded you. When people ask about your language, what did I say? What's your mother tongue, because at the end, you're influenced by your mother and they say, your 80% 80% influenced by your mother and your upbringing, 80% and SubhanAllah. That's why you look at people's characters. And you look at people's excellent. They're always influenced by the mother. If you can aside learn her, and not give her her rights and teacher and develop and empower her with the knowledge of Islam. What do you expect the children to be?
big problem. We are neglecting the future. And then when the future is neglected to start growing, we were the problem when there was the imbalance. On the other hand, when the female of the woman wants to take the role of the men, and always been out there, not looking after this new generation, that also causes problems. Because that child needs the emotions of the mother and needs the roughness of the Father.
The child needs the emotions of the mother and also needs the roughness of the Father. If you're going to bring up someone full of toughness and roughness, then no one can deal with them.
And if you're going to build someone full of emotions, and shyness that no one can speak to him. Balance. In abyssal aloha a listener was described as more shy, as more shy than a virgin female. But when it came to standing firm in Nevis, Asan was at the forefront of the of the army when it's a Lhasa lamb participated and went out in any expedition, who was at the frontlines did not even hesitate. The Olive nutonomy says that when the batteries to get heated up so hot, so tough, so rough, so strong, we used to hide behind the Prophet Mohammed Salah Salah, look at the beautiful description who was as shy as a virgin female. But when it came to fighting for the sake of Allah,
and standing firm for the sake of Allah and every saw son was at the forefront of the army and forefront of the Muslim soldiers did not even hesitate. This is the balance.
Each one of us has a role to play. The men have a role to play, the women have a role to play. So this female companion says our messenger of Allah give us one special lesson for us as females send Avi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam allocator that day, he only gives lessons to the females and the females are happy yet, during the time of the Prophet la sutra. He did that and
knew the importance of the role.
The Sahaba during the time of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam participated in many of the expedition's of the LA Salatu was Salam in what suits them as females. They played a big role when it came to Islam. The scholars say 50% 50% of Islam 50% of the Sunnah of the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam comes down to us through the words of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah azza wa jal chose the words of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, in particular, this young woman is allowed to and Allah says she could pass on this knowledge to us.
It was within them. 50% there are one stage when Islam emerged, and the Tao of the prophet SAW Selim began, Islam was between two people, a man or a woman, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam and
the scholars say this is a clear indication. This is a clear indication to the importance of the role of the man and woman when it comes to the dollar in obese animals there. Khadija was the birth of them with their roti alota Anna Allahu alayhi wa sallam, they were both partners into this religion. Islam came from these two
that are these are the allowed to Allah Anna she was that comforting sauce to the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the provider is Salatu was Salam encounter outside his house and face and experience. It was Khadija
law that will come him down sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
supported the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam.
Each one of us complements one another
Allah subhanho wa Taala crafted us and created us in a perfect form. But each one completes the other. We are one big circle. Each one of us is part of that circle. And each one of us has a role to play when it comes to the deen of Allah azza wa jal, as long as we keep that balance, and as long as each one of us respects the other side, and understands the Allah mentality. The man understands the woman. The husband understands the wife, the wife understands the husband, the woman understands the man, this is the perfection of this perfect religion and Yamamoto lacantina come wattman to Allah calamity, what are the common Islam Medina today? Today I had completed my religion upon you
and I had perfected my bounty upon you and I had accepted Islam as your religion. This is the perfection and completion of Islam. My brothers and my sisters, good luck. I'm Ryan, what we'll look at every single one of you is responsible and every single one of you is responsible for their responsibility. We are there to complete each other, supplement each other complement each other. We are there as a support to one another perfect each other for this perfect and complete religion. The religion of Islam Rabbana cobalamin in the seminar learning what to Ballina in the cantata Rahim Ravana Anil hamdu Lillahi Rabbil aalameen.