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Legacy of a Parent
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Channel: Shady Alsuleiman
Episode Notes
Family matters conference, Durban, South Africa, March 2015
Episode Transcript
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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen
wa Salatu was Salam ala Sayidina. Habib in our in our call Idina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi mine
rubbish rally sobre la psyllium Raka melissani of Coco the Ummah bud
open praise do to Allah subhanho wa Taala
and peace be upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
or testify that there's no god except Allah. And I testify that Muhammad is the Prophet and the Messenger of Allah. Brothers and sisters are greet you all with a greetings of Islam. And I say to every single one of you, as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Thank Allah subhanho wa Taala for honoring us and making us from amongst us you get together in a gathering of this gathering, to remember Allah and to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
the prophet la salaatu wa Salaam, he says, when you read the lobby of a dean, whom Allah subhanho wa Taala wants, goodness for whom Allah azza wa jal wants to grant goodness for Allah azza wa jal will increase the knowledge in Islam.
So you being part of this gathering, and attending this conference, I know for a fact, Allah chose you for this. And Allah subhanho wa Taala wants to bless you, with his goodness upon you.
And then let the shaitaan whisper in your ear, on your mind. in which he says, What are you doing in a gathering like this gathering on a Sunday, like this Sunday, you could be out there hanging out with your friends, or going out to some barbecue, or doing something else with the family, you are missing out? Well, I want to say something to you, but Allah, everyone else is missing out except you.
You are in a blessed gathering, a gathering of the mercy of Allah, a gathering of the forgiveness of Allah, a gathering of the angels of Allah, a gathering of the remembrance of Allah and Allah azza wa jal remember you the way you remembered him.
And what a beautiful moment
that we get together on Sunday to talk about a very important important component,
a very important component, a component in Islam, a very important integral part of Islam, and that is the family.
The family is what makes the society and the community
and if the family is correct, the rest of the community is correct.
If the family is God, then the rest of the community is guarded.
For that we need to fix our internal affairs before we start sometimes thinking of the external affairs
for the inhibition, Allahu alayhi wa sallam, he emphasized so much on the importance of family on the importance of having a righteous bringing focus so much on the importance of fulfilling the rights of your parents and the parents they felt them fulfilling their rights of their children.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala reminds us of this important component,
this important integral part of Islam and the society and community
which is the family which begins from your parents,
your mother and your father.
And you realize the Napoleonic Karim.
Allah azza wa jal reminds us of the importance of parents and their rights ever us and upon us in so many different verses in the Quran, Karim.
Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions the rights of your mother, the rights of your father,
and his obligation upon us that we abide them. We respect them, we look after him in so many verses in the Quran, Karim. Allah Subhana Allah repeats the same verse in the Quran in different parts of the Quran, Kareem clearly implies to us the importance of this issue and matter.
And Allah subhanho wa Taala he says workato buka Allah tabuteau illa
de Dinah Asana and your Lord as ordained upon me that you worship no one but Allah, weapon worried
and you are dutiful, respectful and country parents.
It's not an option.
It's not a recommendation.
It is a must
an obligation from Allah subhanho wa Taala upon us. Allah azza wa jal is not recommending us that we look after our parents, Allah subhanho wa Taala is not just encouraging us that we are respectful to our parents, Allah is commending us that we must be respectful to our parents.
Because the respect of the parents is the respect of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And being dutiful to your parents has been a obedient to Allah Almighty.
And unfortunately, in this time,
and this day and age, we found so many of the children and neglecting their parents.
And they put their friends that they just met, they put their friends that they just encountered ever the importance of their parents.
But let me say something to you, no one would care about you and love you as much as your parents would be.
Your mother looked after you before you were even born nine months, carrying you in a womb.
Nine months in during different hardships, different challenges, pain, agony, all this just to make sure that you come out into this world healthy, they come out into this world in the best possible way that you come out into this world in the best shape in the best health.
Allah azza wa jal mentions that in a Quranic Karim hamara, Tawana, Allah Juan, Cora, Hannah Allah,
the mother carried this child,
and she endured all these different hardships, pain and agony, the contraction of giving and delivering birth, hardship, ever hardship, as Allah azzawajal mentions wahan Allah had difficulty ever difficulty for the sake of just to make sure that you come into this world healthy.
You come into this world healthy, in the best physical in the best sound in the best way in the best shape.
And then it just doesn't start there. Or ends there. It starts from there. It doesn't just end after the mother goes through all these hardships. And she goes through all this pain and agony, and then she delivers birth to her child. It just stops there. And that's it. But this is where the journey begins. And then the mother continues to look after this child to make sure that she will have a sleepless night for her son or daughter or child to have a good sleep at night.
She'll take the food out of her mouth, just to make sure that she feeds her child.
She'll do anything to protect this child
shall get through anything just to protect this child.
She'll sacrifice her Leisure's her pleasures and desires just for the sake of looking after this child.
And Simon is the father works so hard during the day, to make sure that he brings food, bread and butter to the table to make sure that he feeds his children halaal food to make sure that he upbringings and he brings them up in the best form and shape to make sure that he raises them in the best form and shape. yeas, we'll get past the mother is sacrificing during the day and night. And the father is sacrificing during the day and night to make sure that they bring up this child and raise them in a way that they'll be happy in their life and in a way that they'll be successful in their future.
sacrifices.
Mom and Dad, the mother and father will go through so many hardships just for the sake to comfort you.
Just for the sake to bring happiness in your heart. And that moment that you smile to the mother and father, it is the most beautiful moment in their life.
But then this child grows,
reaches the age of puberty
reaches the age of maturity. And then this child starts to meet new friends, new mates
and then starts to build up this friendship and make chip and now other need mum and dad anymore. At one stage, she needed to clean me, clothe me, feed me. Now I'm independent. Other needs hurt. Now I'm working on earning money. I don't need my father. So my journey begins from there and forget about those that looked after me.
You who you are,
made you who you are right now. It's your mother and your father that contributed to your success right now.
It's your mother and your father that made you who you are right now. You are mature now. You've reached the age of puberty. You are now a businessman, a businesswoman and intellectual, educated man and woman. Not only that, you've started your and family. All this is because of your mother and your father. And that's what Allah has ever done. He says, I've been worried.
You must be dutiful to your parents. You must be respectful to your parents. You must be calling to your parents. Do not forget what your parents done for you. If it wasn't for them. You would not even exist on the face of this planet. It's your parents that made you who you are. So don't forget who made you who you are.
When a young man will come to the province, a Salatu was Salam.
And he will say our messenger of Allah, I want to participate with you in one of the expeditions fighting for the sake of Allah, dying on the battlefield, die as a martyr and I Shaheed Salah soldier can give me the highest level of the paradise so Allah soldier can be pleased from me. So Allah Subhana Allah can give me the greatest of rewards, the proper a Salatu was Salam will respond to him and ask him, do you have any of your parents alive? Say says our messenger of Allah, he has both of them. So the provider is salatu wa sallam says, Go back to him and look after him and perform Jihad by looking after the needs.
Jihad
dying on the battlefield. Shaheed, it is something that Iran wishes for one strike path to the paradise and not any paradise, the highest level of the paradise. Well, there's another Jihad that we could perform in our life. And that's by looking after our mother and father.
But many people are of us are not interested in that jihad. You know why? Because dying on the battlefield is a lot more easier than looking after your mother and father. We don't want to we don't want to just die for the sake of Allah. We want to live for the sake of Allah.
And living for the sake of Allah is a lot more harder and difficult than dying for the sake of Allah.
That's why in the beast, Allah, Allah Allah, Allah, Messiah to this man, and similar men like this young man, get back to your parents, get back to your mother, get back to your father and look after him. In another narration, he asked this man, any of your parents alive, he says my mother's still alive. So the provider is salatu wa salam, he says to him, get back to her look after her take care of her need, because the Paradise is under her fate.
The Paradise is under her fate.
To serve your mother and look after your mother.
Take care of her. Bring back a smile on her face. The way she made sure that this smile does not or does not depart away from your face.
Bring back this smile on her face. The way she was always eager and keen to make sure that you're always smiling and never cry.
That moment they used to cry, haha will be winded. Her heart will be cut into pieces. The moment she sees a child crying. It's like the whole wall had collapsed in front of her. And she'll do anything to bring back that smile on your face. What are you doing in return?
What are you bringing back to your mother and father?
What repayment Are you willing to repay your mother and father in this world? Because as much as he did for them, you will never ever give justice to what they've done to you.
As much as you try to repay them back. You will never ever repay them with justice. That during the term of one of the Sahaba of the Allahu taala
he says Amen.
Amen during that time, performing tawaf
Wally's buffet performing tawaf, he has his mother on his back. So imagine this man carrying his mother on his back and doing the warp seven times around the Kaaba.
After this man finished seven times around the Kaaba, he saw this companion.
And he asked him and he said, Did you just see what I did to my mom? To my mother? I said, Yes. He says, isn't this a noble action? So the Sahaba said, Yes. So he said to him, did I fulfill her right? So the Sahaba said, Not even one pain of a contraction, pain.
Not even one pain.
of hacking traction pain was delivering birth to you.
carrying his mother during tow up seven times around the Kaaba does not even fulfill the rights of one contraction pain while she was given birth to him.
That's your mom. That's your father, that Allah azza wa jal commands us, even though our parents are disbelievers, non Muslims, even though they are misguided, misled, even though they commanded us to worship someone besides Allah, or disobey Allah, Allah has the origin he says, What in jahad, aka, Allah and Tisha be my life's a Lockerbie here, follow Tahoma and if your parents can manage you, they are ascribed partners with me or worship someone beside me or disobey me then do not obey them, but be friendly towards them.
befriend them, be kind to them, be polite to them, even though they are encouraging you to do something haram even though they are doing something Haram. Even though they are non Muslims. You must be dutiful, respectful and caring to your parents because your parents are your responsibility rather lies our Gen.
our parents,
our mother, our Father, all begins with them.
How many of us are neglecting our parents these days, don't even have time for our parents to look after our parents. Not even sometimes I found coaches to check up on our parents. were too busy with those who we just recently met who are too busy with those we just met and we hang out with and we go out with we are too busy with those that we are having fun with our neglecting those that made us that made us who we are. That contributed into our success that contributed
into what we do right now.
Our parents, your mother, your father,
Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says
someone who disobeys his parents, someone who disobeys her parents, someone who neglects the rights of their parents will not enter the paradise. That's how severe it is. For one of us to disrespect our parents.
That's our major of a sin it is for us to disrespect our parents.
When was that last? My brother, my sister, that you called your mother and he said, Mom, you called your father and he said to him, Dad, I love you. I care about you. You went and saw him and you kiss their hands and their feet. I'm just doing that because I love you and I care about you. Or we're too embarrassed.
We become sometimes reluctant and embarrassed.
I can't say that to mom. I can't say that to dad, but your friends who love you, brother.
I love you, sister, you my brother. I'll do anything for you. But when it comes to mom and dad, Mother and Father, we become embarrassed for some reason. For some reason. We become embarrassed for some reason or the embarrassment just comes in our hearts at that time.
My brothers or my sisters, your mother, your father,
Allah subhanho wa Taala mentions
the obedience of the parents in the Quran, Allah Kareem in so many verses, and the problem Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam reiterated on that and emphasizes on that how important it is for one of us to look after our parents and to take care of them not only was alive even after their death
that's how far Islam goes. When it comes to the respect and the duty and the responsibility of the parents. Even after their death is them Comanche they look after some of what their rights are on you. And amongst the rights of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says that the rights of the parents after their death and that was mentioned when I came when he came to the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam and he said O Messenger of Allah did a lot of my parents did a lot of my parents cut off when they die service unless Adam says no, they continue. These rights continue after the death of your parents. And then he says what are the rights of my parents after
their death? So the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam he says they continue making doc for them.
You continue making the heart for them.
What are life and what are dead.
You make doll for your parents.
You never ever stopped making doll for your parents. You make the art for your parents was our life a bit hamama Kamara, banni Selena, as a lucky men's and Napoleonic Kareem say Oh my Lord, have mercy upon them. Now I had mercy upon me when I was young
unlawfully give them, Oh Allah strengthen them, or Allah make it easy for them. And then when they die, you continue making the law for them, Oh ALLAH forgive them, Allah have mercy upon them, or Allah admit them into the paradise.
That's one of the rights of your parents upon you, after their death,
and also he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says that you also keep toys, and keep in contact with those that your parents used to keep in contact with wildlife.
Keep that toy and friendship with those that your parents is to love what Allah was our life. If I know that there is someone that my parents is to love, my mother is to love this particular aunt, or my father used to love or respect this particular uncle, and my parents passed away before them, one of the rights of your parents upon you that you continue this connection and ties with them.
Those people that they used to love and respect during their life, you continue with that after their death. And you do that for the sake of Allah azza wa jal, maybe this person that your parents used to love, and your parents they used to keep good toys with, maybe they're not the best people to you, maybe that are very far away from your mindset and mentality, but you do that for the sake of your parents. And the provider is Salatu was Salam. DITA not please mother and father he did that for her. These are the Allahu talana
Oh, that because of his love to Khadija, what about your love to your mother and your father
and also
one of the rights of your parents upon your after their death, which is a good day that you should initiate a good day that we should all practice is to donate something on their behalf.
Give a rent or to $1 or two, or build something, build a Masjid or contribute into the building of a Masjid or into the dour. Like this organization that you've attended their conference gives something on their behalf for the sake of Allah they are Allah I donate this money on behalf of my dead mother or dead father, the US the rewards of this money will get back to them. Allah azza wa jal given the rewards after the death sadaqa jariya.
Continuous sadhaka continuous charity after the death of your mother and your father, now they continue to benefit and grasp the reality
of the rewards of the good deeds that you've given on their behalf. That's something that the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam teaches is off. If there's something that I want to come out of today, and something that I want to initiate, and something that I want to do for my parents, even if they're alive, I want to give something on their behalf. I want to donate something on their behalf. I want to give charity on their behalf that ask Allah azza wa jal to make the rewards of the charity to continue going back to them while they're alive or dead. This is the quality of the moment. Allah azza wa jal wants us to keep that strong tie. Allah Subhana Allah wants
us to continue having that connection with our parents, even though they are dead.
continue having that love. And that sympathy, that compassion for our parents, even though they are dead. We do not forget them. We don't forget them from the moment they die. On the contrary, we continue to remember them even more.
And I mentioned I story yesterday, that one man who is a successful businessman, a successful Muslim businessman, Allah subhanho wa Taala had opened up for him. And once he was asked, What do you think the secret from behind the success? What do you think the secret from behind your success, the success of your business? He says I believe the secret from behind the success of my business, that every single day I make go out for my mother or my father, for my late mother and my father, for my dead mother and my father I make up for them every single day. I say Allah forgive them. Yeah, Allah have mercy upon them, and I give charity on their behalf. I give sadaqa on their behalf. And every
time I do that Allah azza wa jal opens up for me more and more. And every time I may draw for them and give for the sake of allies soldier on their behalf. Allah subhanaw taala continues to expand my business continues to expand
More trade. This is the Baraka, the blessing of being dutiful to your parents, so much Baraka that you'll gain. So much Baraka that you'll get. After respecting and being dutiful to your parents, so much Baraka that you'll gain for you being dutiful and respectful to your mother and your father, my brothers and my sisters, our parents, our mother, our Father.
And as we were children, and we had parents, now we are parents, and we have children. And as they say, What goes around, comes around, don't forget that tomorrow you will have children yourself. And tomorrow you have a son and a daughter.
And the way you treated your parents, maybe your children will treat you the same way. Maybe your children will come around and treat you the same way.
And that's why if I'm married, and my husband has parents, I should be the source of encouragement to my husband, to make sure that he looks after his mother and his father, he looks after my mother in law, and my father in law, even my mother in law, my father in law sometimes may be cruel to me, unfair to me, but I don't want to be the one that cuts that tie between my husband and his parents, you should be the one that connects between your husband and his parents. And same thing, if my wife, her parents are still alive, I should be that connection that connects my wife to her parents, even though I probably dislike some of the action, we should be a source of goodness, not a source
of evenness, we should be a source that connects people together not divides people away from each other.
How many times he wives, the one their husbands disconnect themselves from their parents, when a mother will love Even though you probably experienced some cruelty, and some bad actions from your in laws, but never be the reason that you cut the ties between your husband and his parents. Because what goes around comes around. And tomorrow as you will be a mother, you also be a mother in law.
And as the Father, you'll also be a father in law. So do good, and do good for your sake. Because every good day that we do, we shall grasp and harvest the benefit. And the fruit of this goodness before anyone else.
Before anyone else we will we will be the ones who will gain the goodness, we will be the ones who will acquire the goodness of this good date. My brothers and my sisters, our parents.
Our parents are our fruits, the best fruits, the best investment, that we could invest in this world and the hereafter.
I want to be with my parents in this world. And I want to be with my parents in a after my mom and dad, my mother, my father in
law, he was disobedient to me she was disobedient to me.
I believe that will be the worst moment in your life. When your mother and your father say, Oh Allah were innocent from him or her.
That was so cruel towards us. That was so bad towards us.
They were disrespectful towards us.
Allah as RJ says,
what a taco lahoma offend, why not? And
then she even say
which is a word that expresses hatred or dislike. Allah as it says, Don't even say off to them. Then even after with a word that will make them I'm pleased. Then even after with a word that will make them angry, then even after with a word that they dislike, not even a letter though dislike how many times we're busy in what we do. And mom and dad will call us and say we're busy, busy with her with your friends.
With the school Mike's busy with her
if you're going to be busy away from your parents, and he didn't give the attention and the respect to your parents to him, are you going to give respect to
take advantage of your parents if they are still alive? You know how many people even yesterday in Cape Town
how many brothers and sisters came up to me and they said, I wish if my parents are still alive so I have to be dutiful towards them. But unfortunately I was I was guided after their death.
And they understood the value of my parents until my mother and my father passed away and don't do anything even though I'm willing to give my own life for my parents to come back alive.
If your parents are still alive, this is your opportunity.
If your parents are still alive, this is your
best opportunity for you to take care of them, get closer to them.
And as time has passed, and the older they get is the closer you become to them.
If your mother or your father or both of them are still alive, then you take care of them and get closer to them.
Don't wait for them to die. And then you wake up to yourself and realize how important they were in your life.
Just because they're too nice to us, so compassionate, so loving, we exploit that and take it for granted.
We become a lot more attracted to those who don't care about us, those who don't even really love us, and we are distracted away from and we walk away from those who really loved us and care about us.
We want to make a change.
We want to change our relationship with our parents to a better relationship
to a more loving, caring relationship,
a relationship that just gets me closer to my parents every single day. And if they're alive, I want to take care of them. And if they are dead, I want to continue making dinner for them. I will never ever forget them.
Your mother, your father,
the other flowers of your life.
That your parents, you exist because of them and who you are and what you earned out is because of them. And Islam wants you to appreciate that. acknowledge that honor, take care of
Islam wants you to be connected to them.
And Al Hamdulillah I'm so honored and privileged to be in a gathering of this gathering. Now we remind ourselves of the importance of our parents and our duty to our parents.
I want to make a change from tyranny. Today, I'm going to make a phone call and visit my mom and dad and show them that I love them and I care about them.
Today, out of this conference, I don't want to just hear beautiful talks, motivating talks and then I'll walk away with that extra we want to act upon what we hear. We want to act upon what we believe in. We want to act upon what we hear and what we believe in I want to put everything into practice.
I'll get to my mother to my father tonight. I'll speak to them I love them I kiss them a hug them a kiss their fate.
assure them that I love them. And I just asked one thing from them. Just be pleased from me. So Allah can be pleased from me.
Be pleased from me so Allah azza wa jal can be pleased from me.
I ask you that you ask Allah to forgive man have mercy upon me. Welcome Robert hamama Kamara, biani Salida and say, Oh Allah have mercy upon them the way they had mercy upon me when I was young, ask a lot except from us, and to make us from amongst those who are dutiful towards their parents, responsible towards their parents. manera Bella alameen salam aleikum wa rahmatullah