Husbands Rights Upon Wife

Shady Alsuleiman


Channel: Shady Alsuleiman

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AI: Summary © The importance of praying for oneself and others to increase their chances of receiving god's blessings is discussed, along with the need for men to fulfill their rights in society. The speakers emphasize the importance of fulfilling the god's rights and fulfilling men and women rights in order to fulfill their obligations. The shaping of men and women in the church and the importance of privacy and giving permission for anyone to leave a house without their spouse's permission is also emphasized.
Transcript ©
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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad Ali he was

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rubbish roughly sundry Wesley Emery wandered off the term melissani of Coca Cola I'm about all praise God, Allah subhanho wa Taala. And please pray upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, or testify that there's no god except a lot of testing for the Muhammad is the Prophet and the Messenger of Allah. Brothers and sisters are thank Allah Subhana Allah, Allah, the One that deserves all the thinking and deserves all the gratitude and deserves all the praise. Thank Allah subhanaw taala for making us from amongst those who get together for his sake, for making us from amongst those who remember him for making us from amongst those who worship him. Well, I wonder sometimes we

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do undermine the name and the blessing of Allah subhanaw taala upon us the blessing of worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. Sometimes when worship Allah azza wa jal, we have this sickness in our hearts, or this weakness in our heart, as if we are doing a lot of health on our favor. So worship Allah azza wa jal, and then here we are, we've got this favoritism in our hearts, that we've got this favor of allies or we've got this favor of Allah subhanaw taala that I'm doing a large enough favor. So I pray and then I've got dissatisfaction and Maha the upright and I'm doing something like a slog. I'm offering a favor to Allah subhanaw taala. When you pray, you're praying for yourself not

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for the last panel to Allah that Allah needed. Yes, your prayers are for Allah. And there must be sincerely for the sake of Allah, by Allah because Allah needs them. Your prayers, Allah subhanaw taala doesn't need them you worship a large soldier doesn't need them. You're the one that needs to worship Allah. You're the one that needs to pray to Allah. You are the one that needs to prostrate Allah, you're the one that needs to give to Allah, you are the one that needs to pass for Allah, you're the one that needs to read the Quran, the Quran follow, you are the one that needs to attend gatherings like these gatherings for Allah subhanaw taala, Allah doesn't need them. Allah just

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honors you. Allah just honors you to worship. Allah subhanaw taala obviously they opened that gate and door for you to pray to him. That's the pleasure of Allah subhanaw taala upon you.

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So never think for a second that when you pray to Allah subhanaw taala praying to Allah, because Allah needs your prayer. Well, Allah subhana wa Taala demands that prayer because it benefits him or brings in the benefit team or takes away any harm from him know, the praise that we pray, we're praying for a Lord to please Allah because we need them not because of loss of how Thailand needs them. Because benefit comes back to us not because the benefit gets to Allah subhanaw taala and Allah subhanaw taala blessed us with a gathering of these together and because we need the gathering, we need this gathering. We need gatherings like these gatherings, not Allah subhanaw

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taala needs us to attend these gatherings we are the ones we need to attend these gatherings. We are the ones who need to be part of these gatherings we are the ones that benefit out of these gatherings. from Allah subhanaw taala upon us that loss of penalty Allah bestows His mercy, forgiveness and blessings upon us when we attend a gathering love these gathering. And my brothers or my sisters, this is the gathering of knowledge, the gathering of goodness, when Allah subhanaw taala loves someone What does a lot of xojo give him a Lost Planet Allah gives him knowledge. Allah subhanaw taala gives him knowledge. So the knowledge that Allah gives you is better than all the

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money of this world better than all the prestige of this world, but other than all the fame of this world, the knowledge that Allah subhanaw taala gives you is better than anything and everyone and that's why you're in a gathering of knowledge. And Allah Subhana Allah teaches the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam a door in which a lot of times the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa Salaam wa Cora busy married man oh Mohammed say Oh Allah increase my knowledge. He didn't say to mom Oh Mohammed say or Allah, increase my wealth, increase my heart, increase my prestige, increase my popularity, increase my fame now Allah Subhana Allah Allah, Allah azza wa jal toes him or Muhammad will pull up visit

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Allah increase my knowledge. Why did the lies of the Prophet Mohammed Salah, this specific drought? There are so many things that you could ask a lot of soldiers

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To increase your, well why did Allah subhanho wa Taala choose this dog for Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it's because the best blessing and the greatest grace and gift of a last pirate on upon me is the gift of knowledge. The last panel to Allah blesses you with knowledge.

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Tonight in sha Allah will speak about chapter 35. After we spoke about chapter 34, and chapter 34, last week, we spoke about respecting, taking care of

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your wives, your daughters, your sisters, your mothers, and any woman that you have in your life. So taking care of women in your life, or taking care of any woman, women have a great right upon us a great responsibility and a lot of power to Allah, He makes it very clean that will only get him in the economic outcome that the most honorable allies are not the men and not the woman, not the black, not the one, not the Arab, not not the non Arab, the most honorable Allah subhanaw. taala is the one that face a lot of soldiers, whether he is an Arab or non Arab, he is a male, or she is a female, whether they are from this sect, or from this group, or that group. In the UK grammar comm

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in the law of calm, the most honorable and last parallel to Allah is not based on ethnicity. It's not based on culture, it's not based on the color of skin, it's not based on the agenda in Chroma come into law has come the most honorable to Allah is the one that fits almost the most. So the woman that sometimes you might oppress, whether she to be your wife, or she be, he or she could be your daughter, or she could be your sister, she could be your mother, or she could be your niece, or she could be a stranger they are trying to oppress, and you're trying to push her around because you're a man and you've got more muscles than her know for a fact that she could be a lot better in

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the sight of Allah subhanaw taala than you.

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So your wife that you want to push around, because you think you've got more authority over her I know, for a fact that she could be a lot more closer to Allah subhanaw taala than you

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as you could be from amongst those that you raise your hands to among allies are accepted on and maybe by you pushing around, maybe by you oppress, oppressing him

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by oppressing, and trying to pull over, because you are the man and you've got more authority and you've got more muscles, and you've got more strength. Maybe because of it. There are a lot of xojo accepted on the last panel except the door that she made against you. That's the problem. homosassa Lemma says about a simple man, that people will not even give him the attention of the day. So people will not even give him any attention. He's not even worth it. He's too poor. He's too simple. He's too humble. In the middle of audio services. Look up some Allah Allah, Allah, Allah if he raises hence to Allah. And he says, Yeah, Allah give me this, I'll do this thing to this person,

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Allah xojo accept Islam.

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And that person that we are talking about this person that you probably don't want to even give any attention to this person that you think that he is worthless or this person that you think is nothing or the this person they think you've won more authority over them. This person could be your wife or could be your daughter or could be your mother. Mama, she'll make that and she'll make the door against you and Allah subhanaw taala accepted.

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Never ever, he may lie in one or despise anyone, especially if he's a Muslim. Or could be someone who could be someone even a Muslim that you despise, because of you despising them Allah subhanaw taala humility in this world, because because you might disgrace someone that he does not even deserve to be described. So you look down at someone or look down at something Allah subhanaw taala will this was the origin of disgrace in this world.

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Tonight insha Allah I want to talk about Bab zoji Allah Ma, okay husbands rights concerning his wife. So what are the rights of the husband or the wife and not only that I'm going to talk about the rights of the husband or the wife I'm going to also talk about the rights of the wife of the husband. I'm going to also talk about the rights of the wife of the husband which is which is always say a very important topic.

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A topic that whether you are married you need neither and if you're not married is still needed because what they gonna get married. So whether you're married is still needed and if you're not married, these two meet up because what they are going to get married sex education for you to prepare yourself and for you, someone who is not married maybe this will help you to start with a good beginning with the future spouse with a future wife if your husband over the future husband if you're a word. It's a good stuff for you to know what you're getting yourself in ways to bring your life into

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Allah subhana wa tada he says in the Quran Allah Karim original comun Allah Nisa

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photon Allahu Allah. Allah subhanho wa Taala he says the allies are just made men have authority over women

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region Luca Muna Island Isa Allah Xhosa give authority for men ever the woman now, just to stop, just to stop at the beginning of this holiday.

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The beginning of this art form the beginning of this verse, a lot of soldier says a regional cover Mona Lisa, in this Surah Surah Nisa, in the Quranic Karim, verse 34. Allah azza wa jal says a regional como una Nisa that men have authority of a woman. Even the word coworker moon does not necessarily mean authority. It does not necessarily mean authority. It could also mean responsibility.

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Cover moon, originally, our Mona Lisa, the men are responsible for the woman.

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Not only it could also mean authority, it could mean responsibility. It could also mean extra responsibility.

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Someone kawaman is like someone who's taken extra responsibility ever someone that's in need of the responsibility. So the word kawaman it's not necessarily to be taken with authority, because many men might use that I've got authority every Yes, Allah gave the authority everyone I don't know gave you what authority, your authority everyone is different to the authority that your wife has over you. Your responsibility over your wife can be different one way or another than the responsibility that your wife has.

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So Allah subhanaw taala says original comunale men have authority over women, men have responsibility to every woman. Now, dunk, don't jump to conclusion before we explain exactly what's this responsibility that Allah subhanaw taala is talking about. So let's not jump to conclusion.

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When we don't have a full idea of it, Allah subhanaw taala then he says Be mindful about Obama and for him. The reason the last panel Allah gave extra responsibility to the man after his wife or gave him authority over his wife, because Allah subhana wa Taala created a man in a different structure and form than the woman.

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A lot of panels Allah created a man in a structure that's different to a woman.

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And that's why sometimes when we talk about gender equality, yes, in Islam, it does have gender equality, when there is equality in that specific area. But you can't compare the man to a woman know that you compare a woman to a man, each one Allah subhanaw taala created in a different form different structure. And each one a lots of Hallo to Allah gave a responsibility to different to the other. And what a man can do, a woman cannot do, what a woman can do, a man can do. And each one of them can plate the other and complements the other. See, the thing is, you've got the two extremes. One extreme what's the wants to eliminate or eliminate the responsibility of women in society wants

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to marginalize women in society. That's the extreme side. And you find that amongst Arabs, sometimes even amongst Muslims, they sideline their women, as a woman have nothing else besides getting married, having kids and cooking for the husband and cleaning and washing the dishes and washing the claws and cleaning the house and so on. That's extreme. That's not the teaching of the problem. homosassa so you've got one extreme that wants to alienate anything, or give no responsibility with a woman in society. Then you've got the other extreme wants to wants the woman to take the roles and responsibilities of men. And then what happens in return, sooner or later which is happening men who

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are taking the risk, or responsibilities or roles of woman. So let's not jump to all from one extreme to the other. Allah Subhana Allah Allah, Allah azza wa jal makes it very clear that the best of people to Allah azzawajal whether he is a man or she is a woman, whether they are men or women, the best of people to

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have all those that fit Allah subhanaw taala most, so it's not about gender. And when it comes to marry a woman, Allah subhanaw taala and the Sharia does not differentiate between a man or a woman what the Sharia differentiates in the responsibility that the man has towards his wife, and the responsibility that the wife has towards a husband. The responsibility that this man has in society and the responsibility that a woman has in society, and age one complements the other an age one completes the other. The moment that one wants to pass the red line of the other

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One wants to cross over the responsibility of the other is that moment that you find imbalance in society in which, unfortunately these days,

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nowadays, you find that there is the imbalance in society where the man wants to take a responsibility that does not belong to Him, and a woman wants to take her responsibility that it's not for you.

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And then don't get me wrong, I want to make something clean. Here. It's not undermining men or undermining women, both have a status and have a responsibility in society, both of them have, it's about me knowing what's my responsibility. And the why on it. What Allah subhanaw taala created me because Allah subhanaw taala created a man in a particular structure that he fits in to take that responsibility. And I'm also proud of Subhana, Allah created a woman in a particular structure that she fits into take on that responsibility. The moment that one crosses over the other, with the other, the other genders responsibility, that's what you bought imbalance. So, so Pamela, when you

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look at it, how Allah Zaza created a woman in a form and a structure, that she is, for example, the mother, and she is the one that falls pregnant. And she is the one that gives birth, and she is the one that breastfeed, and she is the one that has the mercy and compassion towards the children more than the Father. Can you imagine a man? Can you imagine a man? Can you imagine a man falling pregnant litsa with the technology that we have, let's say with the technology that we have a man falls pregnant. So if it's about, for example, the gender of this person, or for example, if it's about the structure, the body structure of this person, let's say, hypothetically, let's say, with

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the technology that we have these days, this technology can manage to get a man pregnant, so falls pregnant, how far is this man going to go?

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So Pamela, the structure is not there.

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Let's say he falls pregnant, and his pregnancy is 100%. And the embryo or fetus is living 100%. And this man will give and deliver birth. Can you imagine that? Somehow? That just doesn't make sense. And you as a man, for example, I'm addressing the brothers. Can you imagine this happening? So it's because well, I she has a woman, he doesn't have a woman again, he's got a woman now. And he's got this part that I can look after and feed that child, whatever it is, but it's a Pamela, the rest of the structure doesn't operate with it.

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And let's say let's say he handles and he burdens to be pregnant for nine months. Imagine them. And so sometimes I think about it as a man, like well, it's not easy for a woman to fall pregnant and for a woman to be pregnant for nine months. Allah Subhana Allah describes in the Quran, the Quran, Quran, Allah Quran, from hardships, the hardship, size from hardship, the hardship, it's not like something easy. You imagine you put yourself or you put around yourself three kilo grams, or five kilograms of something, or something heavy around the stomach?

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Like maybe for some people, five kilograms is nothing, but in general, having five kilograms around your waist. And so Pamela, you've got someone else living inside you. But let's say hypothetically, this man managed to fall pregnant and this man is carrying this baby and this man delivers. How far is this man gonna go with this baby? Sooner or later, he's gonna just gonna get rid of that baby will get rid of himself.

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Because of halala. It's like a full structure. It's a full structure. Lots of panels are structured, this female, Allah structured this woman in a way that everything is interconnected for her to fall pregnant and for her to give that compassion and mercy to that child.

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She has that compassion, she has that mercy to

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pass on to this child. While a man he doesn't have that. So Pamela, it's amazing that when the baby cries at night, you could ignore as a man didn't care. I got to another room and let the baby continue crying. There is no way a mother can do that.

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There is no way a mother can sleep while the child is crying.

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That way,

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Allah created a man in a different way, overcrowded him to be more harsher. Allah Subhana. Allah created them to be more tougher. Allah subhanho wa Taala created him in a way that he knows how to handle tough jobs. And not only that, also children, children need the tough side. So they need that compassion aside from the woman from their mother, and they need that tough side from them in their father.

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But the point that I want to send across is that a lot of

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Allah created a woman that she can carry a responsibility that no man can carry. And Allah subhanaw taala created Amen, that he can carry a responsibility that no woman can carry. What we need to know, I need to know what's more responsibility, me as a husband, what's my responsibility, me as a wife, what's my responsibility, because one of the major issues that we have in our community, especially in our day and age, the each one of us me, as a husband, I'm demanding for my rights, but I'm not giving the rights of my wife, and me as a wife, I'm demanding for my rights, and I'm not giving the rights of my husband. We are becoming those who are always passing the buck. And we are

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becoming from those that's always throwing the responsibility of someone else and demanding for the rights but not fulfilling their responsibility, our rights, but I don't want to give the rights of mine spells out my rights, and I want my rights to be so perfect, so complete, I want you as my wife to fulfill and complete and give me my full rights. But when it comes to me, as a husband, I don't want to give her her rights. I don't want to fulfill my responsibility. And when it comes to me fulfilling the responsibility that I want to have to do 100% a good job in fulfilling my responsibility, Mr. Right. But when it comes to me fulfilling that, right, and fulfilling that

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responsibility, I want to give 50%

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that's an issue. And it's not coming from the husband, it's coming from the wives are demanding for my right, but I don't want to fulfill my responsibility. And my wife, I'm demanding my full rights, but I don't want to fulfill my responsibility. I'm a husband, I'm demanding for my full rights, but I don't want to fulfill my responsibility, we need to start turning the fingers around, rather than pointing the fingers at someone else, I need to stop pointing the fingers of myself, rather than me pointing the fingers of my spouse, I need to point out myself, when I see someone else neglecting my rights, then I need to look into more responsibility towards this person, has it been fulfilled?

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For them, my brothers and my sisters,

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it's so important for me to know, where do I fit in me as a husband, am I fulfilling the rights of my husband, or I am stepping and crossing my boundary and trying to become that woman. On the other hand, me as a wife, am I fulfilling my obligation towards my husband, fulfilling the rights of my husband, or am I crossing that line, that thin line that fall in line, and I'm trying to take a responsibility that does not, or it's not for me, because the moment two of them cross over each other, that's where you start having chaos. And that chaos, not chaos in their household by having chaos in the society, in the entire society pays the price.

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When one crosses the line, where the husband starts to cross his line, and he wants to start taking a responsibility, that's not his, then there is chaos in the house, when the wife wants to cross the line, and she wants to take a responsibility that's not hers, then she is crossing the line. And that's where chaos takes place in the house. And the house is that brick of a wall.

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The family is the brick and the wall is the society. So if the brick, the actual brick is weak, the entire wall is just bountiful. It's only a matter of time. And inevitably, the wall will fall sooner or later. Because the society in Islam, what makes this society what makes the community is the family. What makes the family is the husband and wife

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that Islam breaks it down to. So the husband and wife others important component in the brick. And the brick is the family and that family is part of a big wall. And that wall is a society and community.

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So I need to look at that me as a husband, what are my responsibilities? What are my rights? What are my responsibilities me as a wife? What are my rights? Or what are my responsibilities? So Pamela, it is so common. It is one of the most common issues and questions that will always be asked, Where the wife will always ask, what are my rights? And the husband? What are my rights? rarely, rarely that I get with one side? Or one party, the wife will say, you know, what's my responsibility? Especially when we are dealing with family disputes. And we've got a husband and wife that they have some misunderstanding with one another. So they come and acquire marriage

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counseling, they come to the shed on the seat before the shift, and it's always shift tell him what are my rights? told her what are my rights? Rarely that I get someone that says Jeff, what's my responsibility? We are so selfish, though we're always asking about our rights. But we don't ask about our responsibilities and that not only applies at home, also

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applies at work, where the employee always wants to demand his full rights. But when it comes to him fulfilling the work, he wants always to get the shortcuts. And look at my boss, look at my employer. He's not giving my full rights, that's Haram. But did you fulfill your full responsibility towards your work your employer? Did you feel free for responsibility comes to work. So we are so selfish. It's always about US and US and US. And I find that a lot more widespread, and a lot more ingrained between the husband and wife, where each one is pulling the rope towards this side. She wants the full rights. She wants her full rights and he wants his full rights.

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She wants her full rights, and she wants her husband to fulfill her full rights. He wants his wife to fulfill his full rights.

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But when it comes to them, fulfilling their responsibility towards them, now here everyone wants to compromise.

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A region otowa Mona Lisa, as Allah subhanaw taala says, men have responsibility over their women, Mima Fatah la la vida Malabar in which Allah subhana wa Taala has created one party different to the other. And that's why Allah azza wa jal gave a man more responsibility over his wife. And when you really look at it, the rights of the women, the rights of a wife is a lot more is a lot more in the scope of the Sharia is a lot more than the rights of the mentors is one. So the rights of the wife or the husband is by far a lot more than the rights of the husband or the wife. Maybe one right that the husband has in which we'll talk about that if he tells her to do something, she must do it. If

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it does not disobey Allah subhanaw taala or if it's not unreasonable, if it's not unreasonable, so if it's something reasonable, she must fulfill it. If it's unreasonable, then she could reject it.

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So Allah subhanaw taala says, be my fault Allah Allah, Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala credit a man different type of woman,

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a woman different a man and each one of them has a full responsibility that they need to fulfill it. Each one of them has a duty that they need to fulfill it. One of them is what the prophet Mohammed Sasa mentioned in this hadith one happy hurayrah radi Allahu taala Allah, tala Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam either downmodulation Imperato ella funakoshi falam 34 Bertha Habana La la la la tamela aka Hector. That's the first Hadith. That a moment No, no we had added in this chapter. He says that if a man calls his wife to bed, if he calls his wife the bit, no matter what it is, and I'm sorry to be blunt about this, whether it's because of love and intimacy, or because he wants to

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talk to her. It's not necessarily that we have to get the other side. He's a man calling his wife to be he's calling it a bet because it wants to discuss things with her.

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And then the other is salatu wa sallam he says, and she refused. So you've got a husband, he called his wife debate. Calling it Tibet is a very general meaning it could be because of sexual activity. Or it could be because it's important to discuss something with her.

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But the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam says in this Hadith, he rejected or she refused. For whatever reason it is because of the tension there is between her and her husband or because he doesn't want to come in the middle of it or sell him He says, as a result of the the husband slept that night, angry from her.

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So you've got the husband, he called his wife to bed. He refused. For whatever reason it is, she could justify in her mind the way she wants. While he walked in today with that roses. I'm angry for me, I don't want to get here. One laterra he said something that made me upset while laterra because of this maybe today because of that. Whatever reason she'll probably justify it. Obviously she's got something in her mind. And she's just avoidant in one way or another. And he evolved though he called her and demand to come to bed or to the bedroom. And she refused, in the bizarre senses and he slept on my anger from her in the visa lottery or salami says the result of the is the angels

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will continue to curse her until the morning. So it's not a minor issue. It's not a little issue. If I have been called his wife to the bedroom, and again, for whatever reason it is it could be because of intimacy because he wants to fulfill his sexual desire and she could be tired, she could be tired, she could be fatigued, she could be upset, or his environment to the bedroom because he wants to talk to him. The Hara

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Get the head on argument. And then he went to the bedroom and he said they come to the bedroom. Because what's happening these days? These days nowadays What's happening? When there's a dispute between the husband and wife, she packs her stuff and she walks out of the house. Yamato, come back,

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come back return, son, son. What are you gonna do about it? Well, I'll bring my brothers on the machi down, I'm about to show my BA. Well, my brothers are knocking it out. And my brothers will do this. And my brothers will do that. We are the son, I am the uncle, the police on you all do this. And I'll do the that's the attitude that you got these days. The moment she's upset that straightaway pack the bag and walk. Come back. She refuses.

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I want to talk to you. I don't want to listen to you.

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Or it's in the same household. So it's an insane household and he's in the room and they come to the room I want to talk to you and she says no, I don't want to talk to you. Now I want you to come to the room. And I want to discuss things with the edges are freezing, she's upset. She's upset for whatever reason it is in the resource I'm says and he sleeps that of course he's going to be angry from him. So what someone called his wife come as you refuse is going to allow her to sleep with a smile on his face. Unless is abnormal.

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But obviously is going to be very upset, obviously is going to be angry in the be Salalah alayhi wa sallam said and he sleeps that my anger from her. The angels will continue to curse attune to them next morning. Now,

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Salama salami says, either better than Morocco has errata

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for Raja Xiao Jia la anathan Mela.

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If the woman abstains away from coming to the bedroom from her husband, and she refuses to come in, in the bedroom, while the husband is there, in the peace of Allah alayhi wa sallam, he says that the angels will continue to curse it until the morning in another Hadith, everyone in the heavens will continue to curse it in the morning. And the scholars say that also includes a last panel Turner.

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That also includes allies origin, alone will continue to cursor to the moon. Why? Because she refused to respond to the call of her husband. Now, speaking about the speaking about the lock this different angle at different angles,

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the different angles, we could look at this, number one, and husband has rights to fully sexual desire from his wife. And also as vice versa. A wife has a right to fulfill a sexual desire from her husband, that's a reality and forgive me for being too blunt about them. A man has the right, Allah subhanaw taala created him with a sexual desire or sexual desire. Each one of them need to fulfill the sexual desire of the other. And Allah subhanaw taala describes the one or Eliza describes them to each other like a gunman like a lot clothes, you need to cover yourself from the heat. And you need to cover yourself from the cold wynnum. Allah subhanaw taala describes the wife to the husband,

00:33:12--> 00:33:33

as a garment. And a lot of parents, Allah describes the husband to the wife, as a garment, each one of them needs each other. Each one of them needs the other. And each one of them is a protection to the other. They fulfill their sexual desire, they fulfill their sexual desire from one another. And at the same time, they protect each other from falling into the Halo.

00:33:34--> 00:33:50

They protect each other from falling into the heaven. And that's something that I find an issue from both sides. But from the complaints I get, I find that a lot more coming from the wife side than the husband's side.

00:33:51--> 00:33:57

And what happens husband has got sexual desire and it's it fulfill it. So if the work doesn't protect him,

00:33:58--> 00:34:41

that doesn't allow him to do harm. But it's like a push for him to do the harm. That doesn't justify him to do harm no matter what, even though he did like any his wife for months and ease and did not fulfill his sexual desire that does not justify for him to go and fall into the harem. But that pushes him now opens the door for the shape of this whisper in his ear to fall into the hollow. But that doesn't apply to the men also applies to the woman. Now with a woman, the husband comes and she's working so hard, especially the kids of the take a lot out of her. And then by the end of the night when the husband is more free. She is maybe fatigued and tired. I want to get a bit. That

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happens a lot. And I'm being practically because these are the common complaints that I get.

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And that also happens to the husband where the wife wants to fulfill his sexual desire and the husband is working so hard during the day he can't be bothered to.

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Well, we need to balance our life. There's got to be that balance balancing

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To be struck, otherwise, you are pushing one side to start thinking of the Hello. And suppose people are weak. Sometimes people are weak. Many times I get husbands talking to me and saying to me, I haven't been near what my wife for months, months,

00:35:17--> 00:35:21

months, I have a minimum, because every time I want to get near my wife, she's tired.

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And this complaint is a lot more common from husbands about their wives. But also sometimes get from was complaining about the husband and the husband works, he works so hard, and he doesn't have any time for his wife. And he's always working late at night, and so on and so on. And she hasn't gone to him for months,

00:35:45--> 00:35:50

we need to wake up to ourselves and realize that we are pushing one of our partners towards the wrong track.

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Again, that doesn't justify for them to do anything, how long? Because the shaitan can come and whisper and someone starts to think about and will start saying to himself, you know what, she's pushed me having been there every time I want to do something this and that she's tortures for the blood or whatever, whatever, whatever, you know, I'm gonna do the huddle. I'm gonna fall into the huddle.

00:36:11--> 00:36:25

Now, one brother told me, he's thought to even watch pornography. And that's common. It's very unfortunate, but it's common. He used to be blamed first and foremost. But also the wife needs to take some blame.

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Because she is the government that protects her husband from falling into the huddle.

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She needs to organize itself. She needs to organize itself. And also, same thing happens with women where husbands are waiting so hard, working all night, and so on. They don't even spend that time with their wife and fulfill that sexual desire that Allah had created in him and her, and then that pushes her to start thinking of someone else. She misses something, especially a woman, if she doesn't receive the emotional love from someone, then she starts to listen to someone else and she can fall into. It works both ways. So I want to put the blame on the husbands I don't want to put the blame on the wives. The blame is on both of them.

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He and the bass Allah Allah Allah wa sallam, he says, any man that calls his wife to bed, or to the bedroom for a sexual desire, or sexual activity, or even to talk to his wife, and she refuses in the visa licenses, and he sleeps, that my anger from the angels, and whatever is in the heavens, including a lot of xojo will continue to curse into the morning.

00:37:32--> 00:38:09

So you need to be very vigilant about this need to be very conscious about it. And at the end of the day, you don't want any of a lost power, others curse upon you. And you don't want the angels who asked Allah whatever they asked for Allah Zoda for Allah gives it to them, for them to curse you and say, Allah curse and send you land upon him. Now, sometimes, we go back to the other angle of it. The other dimension of this, sometimes there's a dispute between husband and wife, and the husband wants to talk to his wife and she refuses to talk to him. And she packs her stuff and she packs her bag and Strider walks out of the house that's becoming so common these days. Every time she gets

00:38:09--> 00:38:28

angry from the husband, she packs her bags, and she walks out of the house. She's gonna get it back to her parents and her parents. Not only that her parents encouraged her to leave the house and embrace it with open arms. With our Habib tea. There's 1000 1000 people that will come and ask for your hand. What do you choose about 55 is always about the fallen collapse.

00:38:30--> 00:38:31

Our habit? No, no, no.

00:38:33--> 00:38:48

There's 1,000% Oh, come and ask for help. There's 1,000% that will come and propose to you straight away. Not being at least giving that balance. Yes, my daughter, I'll do anything for her. But if my daughter is wrong on a T corrector.

00:38:49--> 00:38:58

And my son in law is wrong. I need to correct him at least to sit down and not take sides, but straight away because he's my daughter. I take sides with them. He's my son I take sides with him.

00:38:59--> 00:39:11

So the husband he's talking had an argument had a fallout whatever it is between him and his wife this dispute and then she packs her bags and walks out or she gets to the other room and he calls her toes I want to talk to her. She refuses she doesn't want to talk.

00:39:12--> 00:39:18

That's also a part of what we're talking about. The angels will continue to curse her until she wakes up in the morning. This almost

00:39:20--> 00:39:21

Allah anger Allah.

00:39:22--> 00:39:41

Allah subhanaw taala is curse and what does it mean a loss curse. Lana, Lana. When you say to someone, Allah Nanak Allah tala lolich. But Allah Karim, Allah sent his Nana upon you. Why exactly say you're saying Allah keep away any mercy and forgiveness away from me.

00:39:42--> 00:39:59

Lada means distancing, Allah Subhana. Allah is mercy. That's what it means. When you curse someone, it means you're distancing or asking a lot of soldier to distance is mercy upon someone. We live by the grace and the mercy of Allah. So if I don't have any Rama, voila.

00:40:00--> 00:40:21

Love That means my life is doomed. My life is cursed. In the midst of a lot It was Ella when they entered Medina one day and he saw a man dragging or pulling his camel. And then the camels stop and he was refusing to respond to the owner. Then he said, Why Allah curse he suddenly said, leave your camels, coos now Don't go Don't go Don't go near animal.

00:40:22--> 00:40:54

Leave your camel, it's cursed now don't get nearer anymore. So Allah curse, the angels curse and those in the in the heavens curse all night. So the night goes past six, seven hours. Allah Allah, Allah Allah, La La Nicobar. The angels Is that why you want to get in return because of your ego, your ignorance, your pride, because you think you are the most beautiful woman that stands on the face of this earth. If he Allah subhanho wa Taala, it's not worth it at the end of the day.

00:40:55--> 00:40:59

Origin so in the visa lottery, oh salami says in the Hadith.

00:41:00--> 00:41:06

Also the Prophet Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says in the next layer handle him rotten,

00:41:07--> 00:41:29

rotten and asuma was too harsh. I don't elaborate nee wala Fie Beatty live in the now NaVi salatu salam illustrates to some of the rights of the husband or his wife and inshallah we'll talk about this topic in the next few weeks, we'll talk about also the rights of the whatever the husband, and I'll try and integrate the two together here and they'll be still alive, he was alive. He said, it is not permissible.

00:41:30--> 00:41:56

It is not permissible. So it's feminine. ly handling rotten. It's not permissible for a woman a wife to fast any day, the first any day without the permission of her husband. Now, let's start. Let's start talking about the first part of this Howdy, sir. It's not permissible for a woman to fast any day without the permission of a husband, if her husband is around, if her husband is around. And

00:41:58--> 00:42:19

so if the husband is not around, so let's say the husband has ever see she doesn't need to seek His permission. Now, what days are we talking about? We're talking about the voluntary days, we're not talking about the obligatory days in the month of Ramadan, and the husband is got the sexual heart and He wants his wife to break it. And for us, that's not permissible. That's for Allah. Allah is all that comes before any human beings.

00:42:20--> 00:42:22

As the Prophet Mohammed Salah salami says law

00:42:25--> 00:42:45

abiding citizens crisis when it comes to the subject, line Xhosa, there's no buildings regardless who this person is. inshallah he's the husband. He's the I mean, he's the Oliver he is, whoever he is, he cannot and it's not permitted for you to obey the creation of Allah and disobey the cradle. alonza So when the Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam mentions in this hadith that it's not permissible for a woman

00:42:46--> 00:43:27

to fast any day while her husband is there and present without his permission, we are talking about the non obligatory worships the Sunnah worships. So that does not include the fasting of the month of Ramadan. That includes all the month and throughout the entire year besides the month of Ramadan, because the only fasting that's obligatory upon us is the fasting of the month of Ramadan. So I watched it is not permitted for her. It's not permissible for too fast any day outside the month of Ramadan, while the husband is there without his permission. Why is that because I husband is a government to the one I want is a government that the husband both protect one another, both protect

00:43:27--> 00:44:10

one another from falling in the harem. Now, why does the Sharia emphasize a lot that a woman must fulfill the sexual desire of a man. So if he goes to bed, and he and she refuses a local cursor, and if she wants to fast and the husband tells her not to fast and if she's fasting during the day, so let's say she fasted half a day and then the husband told her I wanted to break your fast, she must break up fast. Okay, why did the Sarah emphasize on the on the men's side more than the woman saw because the man is a lot more exposed to the fitness than the woman. That's a reality. That's the reality. A man is a lot more out there. A man is a lot more out there than the woman a man sees a

00:44:10--> 00:44:57

lot more outside than what a woman says outside. Because a woman's nature, she doesn't get out more than the man and the man works during the day, he's going from one house to another from one city to another from one town to another from one subject to another. So he is more exposed to the outside world. And because it's more expensive, expensive, outside walls, he is more to see. He is more to say is more proud to see other more to see other genders that can excite his sexual activity or get excited sexual sentiment or feeling so he can exert his sexual desire. So the Sharia focuses a lot on that. That's number one. Secondly, because the woman's nature, she is more modest than a man

00:44:57--> 00:45:00

Allah created that she has more modesty shyness in her name.

00:45:00--> 00:45:43

at which that modesty and shyness forces are put in a position not to look at the opposite gender, the why. Now why a man looks to the opposite gender. That does not, that does not mean that a man does not fulfill the sexual desire of his wife, I mentioned, both of them have the right over each other. But the Sharia focuses a lot more on a man than a woman because a man is exposed to the outside world a lot more than the woman and for the enemy. salatu salam, he says in this Hadith, that if a woman a wife wants to first a voluntary and non obligatory fasting, she cannot do that if a husband is there and present around without his consent without his permission. And let's say she

00:45:43--> 00:45:53

fasted and then the husband told her, I want you to break the fast, then she must break the fast. She must break that fast. And sometimes, I'll remember that

00:45:54--> 00:46:21

notion though, always mentioned that theory, they're always mentioned to you that the shape on uses the need to take it out of the deep, maybe a wipe or reject and wife will rebel and say, No, I'm doing this for the sake of Allah. Now, I want you to break the fast. She's fasting, one of the voluntary fasting, just fasting Monday or Thursday, and then the hospitals will look I want to break I want you to break up fast and he says, No, I'm doing it for the sake of Allah. Well, what for the sake of Allah right now he just disobey the law?

00:46:22--> 00:46:24

Because Elisa Lawson and tells you

00:46:25--> 00:46:37

that if your husband tells you to break your fast, then he must break your fast. So how was he pleasing Allah azza wa jal displacing the last meltdown. And that's our attitude. Sometimes we want to please Allah through displeasing Allah want to please Allah through the huddle?

00:46:39--> 00:47:12

That Take it away, it is the right of the husband and his wife, that if he tells her or does it to break him fast, during a voluntary fasting live, she must break that fast. And she must not proceed with fasting. Now, the other part of the Hadith, Allah Fie Beatty in the evening, one of the rights of the husband ever his wife, and again, maybe tomorrow, I'm just talking about more of the rights of the husband and his wife, but inshallah, we're going to talk about the wife's rights over the husband. And believe me, she has a lot more rights over the husband than what the husband has rights over his wife.

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Now, Visa law sometimes says in the second part of the Hadith, that she does not, or she doesn't have the authority, and she's not allowed to allow anyone in his house without his consent.

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Because that house, that house belongs to the man. Generally, that house belongs to the man.

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And when people say, we want to get to this muck when people want to go to this person's house, do they say and say, we want to get a man's house or want to get his house? We're gonna get hammered house. So the title of the house is usually not the title, not the registered title in government. Okay, these days, women are a lot more richer than men, they probably have more houses than men. I'm talking about the actual title that's known. That's customer amongst people. So for example, when I want to go visit someone's house to watch Oh, my wife, look, let's get to her details. Let's get them hammered house. So let's get them hammered just in the man's house. No one calls it with

00:48:10--> 00:48:46

Valencia's very rarely. The reason I'm saying that because that household, the one that's responsible for the household, the one that's responsible in financing the household, the one that's responsible in spending on the household, the one that's responsible for protecting the household is the man. And because it is held, it is honored to say he has that right. He has that right over his wife, that she does not allow anyone in his house with his consent. And yes, it is the right of the man after his wife that she does not allow anyone in his house, including her mum and dad, including his sister and brother without his consent.

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And he's got the right if he says to his wife and sister, look, every time you get to bring someone to this house or your mother, you probably have to tell me, well, islamically it is right. But is it something that she must do every time someone wants to come ever? She's gonna call her husband say, Look, I've got my mom coming over to me. I've got my father coming over to me. I've got my friends coming over. If my wife does that, to me, I'm gonna run away. Sure, every time someone walks into the house,

00:49:12--> 00:49:15

to get this person over the llama father to come over the Allah.

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Allah doesn't have to necessarily type in that way.

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A husband can say to his wife, look, I trust you. I trust me blindly. Do whatever you want to do. Let anyone into the house close. Not necessarily because I had someone once I had this couple that came to me because they had some misunderstanding with one another. And she complained that every time I bring someone into my house after call him I said that is wrong. So I said it didn't the process. I'm sorry, I have to do that. I said, No, no, no, no. The Prophet gave me that right. You could exercise it, or you don't have to exercise it. So you don't have to exercise it. It's not like something that prompts you as a husband must tell you what that every time should bring someone into

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the house. She needs to go and give me to get your permission.

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Should not that's your run. It's your right to take it or leave it. He said, Well, I thought that every time someone comes in there, she's gonna tow me and get my permission, he thought it was an obligation upon him. No, it's your ride, you could take it, you could leave it,

00:50:13--> 00:50:15

you could demand it, or you could

00:50:16--> 00:50:17

not take it.

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You could demand it. Or you could say, Look, I know I'm not forceful about it. But at the end of the day, it is the right of a man ever his wife, that she does not allow anyone in his house without his consent, because that's his house, maybe he's got something in his house, he doesn't like others, including their family to see.

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It is also at the end of the day, maybe this something about his reputation, maybe it is mindframe, that he doesn't like people to idioms. That is right. And at the same time, it's also his right, which is not something mentioned, that she does not exit his house, or walk out of the house to anywhere, even if it's again, visit her parents to go shopping, or to go down the route or to even visit friends or even to get to the museum.

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One of the rights of the men ever his wife, one of the rights of the husband and his wife that she does not leave the house without his consent. So if she wants to exit the house, and she wants to leave, she needs to get his consent. Someone asked me this question, what about if my wife needs to get in the backyard, and, you know, to put to put up the laundry?

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Will if it's leaving the house, if it's in the vicinity of the house, it's in the vicinity of the house. But if it's so strict, and he says, Look, when you leave and you get to the back of the need to call me Well, that is wrong. But I call this person back.

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And he lost the plot in one way or another.

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Okay, understand how people think that way. But at the end of the day, you know what you're right. I'm not going to argue about the if you will, or you can ask what every time she walks out of the backyard, we're not talking about the front yard, walking out of the house, it is still in the vicinity of the house, it's your backyard, it's still your house. But if someone wants every time his wife walks to the backyard, she needs to call him and get a consent from him or she needs to get permission, say to him, you know, they allow me to go to the laundry in the background. And it's going to say, Look, I'll think about I'll get back to you after these. Look at the end of the day.

00:52:14--> 00:52:29

It is right. But I have found it to be that drastic and extreme. That's way too extreme and unnecessary. Oh, you know, what ends up to me? What ends up to me that sister has served divorced him. Yeah. Because at the end, why is he in slavery?

00:52:30--> 00:52:53

Allah subhanaw taala gave that right to the man ever his wife not to enslave or to protect her to honor her. That's protection and honor not in slavery. Some people look at it in a way because Allah gave me this authority. My wife, I'm going to enslave, I'm going to imprison her. No, Allah gave me the extra authority and responsibility to whoever you want to protect and look after him.

00:52:54--> 00:53:36

To be more responsible towards her, to be more protective, to take care of her to be more emotional towards them, not to enslave them and imprison them. It's the wrong way of thinking that wasn't the attitude of the Prophet Mohammed Salah, Salah. Those are the attitudes of the Sahaba of the lotan. I'm so strict that that's a it's animate me. Okay, if that's your business? It's your honor. That's your privacy. But sometimes that goes beyond the lines that sometimes get a bit goes beyond the boundary and what results to that what results to this that some people can handle in that system that told me about this she divorced her husband and she couldn't handle anymore. If I want to walk

00:53:36--> 00:53:42

to the backyard, I made the case permission I can't handle that anymore. She went for one or two years the teacher said I can't do that anymore. And she left

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so we need to be reasonable but yes, it is the right of a man over his wife that she does not and she's not allowed to allow anyone into his house with his consent know that she leaves his house without a sales without consent. That's the root of the problem homosassa lamb whoever

00:54:00--> 00:54:19

gave to the men ever there was more of this inshallah talk about it next week inshallah. So I know you've got a lot more questions I'll let some of the brothers will start asking me or some of the sisters are asking, okay, what are the other reasons rights of a man or the woman ever met? Okay, inshallah, that's something that I'll cover next week.