The Happy Muslim Family

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Sajid Ahmed Umar

Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar

Episode Notes

London Muslim Centre

Episode Transcript

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appreciate it because these mics we have to hold on. I think we'll just take it

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there's no need for big introductions or anything just get on

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a bill Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Shadowfell MBA well mursaleen Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edge Marine, Rob Bishop play surgery where Sidley Emery, la la caja melissani Coppola. I'm about a Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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Masha Allah that tells me two things. One is either all of you have been very busy at work today, or you're all very hungry. I don't know which one it is, shall we try that again? Insha Allah said I'm on a coma rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

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Masha Allah Now you're all alive and kicking Alhamdulillah My name is Sultan Ahmed. It is my pleasure and honor to be here in front of you all to host this beautiful event.

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The Happy Muslim family by the East London Mosque. Before I go into any introduction, I think it is very appropriate for us to begin this event in the most beautiful of ways and that is by opening it by with a re citation of the Holy Quran. And I have the pleasure and honor of inviting a very dear volunteer, a good friend, a humble servant of the community, brother, nor should

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if I can invite Brother lotia to come on to the stage and enlighten us

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with some beautiful recitation from the Holy Quran. Please give a warm welcome to brother nowship Massoud

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Soleimani kumara. Medulla here barakato

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Oh to be learned he mean a shape on your body

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this middle line here off my

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new washi D

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although long Lenzi ILA in

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our limos Moooi Obi Wan Shi

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T.

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Ma No. V

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long one and the ILA in

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in love

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Earl Manning Kuhn Kuhn tools owes

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me no more Hi II mean

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l Merlin cone cone doors on Sunday morning more me no more Hi Amy noden Lanzi Zun

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on motor bead

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soba ha No law here I'm

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Rico

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long for new

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song

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and my

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hoes

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use some beer for lounge

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feeds some

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tea

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Well,

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Josie Zol Hanqing de sundown co long

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Rosaline

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mashallah tech be

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just head for the notion beautiful, beautiful re citation from the Holy Quran. And now to introduce this topic, the happy Muslim family what constitutes a happy Muslim family to learn more about that and to understand the concept of family in in the 21st century now we experienced a very different idea of a family we see a lot of families are facing challenges we how do we set up this family? How do we maintain this family and how do we make sure that we are going into a journey to establish a successful family all of that is going to be discussed here today in front of your own insha Allah. Now let me welcome every single person that is here present with us physically, we have an online

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broadcast. So welcome to every single one of you that are present online. And this is also going to be broadcast on TV One. So welcome to every single viewer of the TV one as well. Right. So to talk about the happy Muslim family, I have the absolute pleasure and honor of introducing to you the main speaker, the keynote speaker, Dr. Chef sajit Alma Rahmani kumara Tula harlequins, salam, ala Hua Bearcat. Nice to see you again, Sher Shah Sajid. And for the purpose of our viewers and for our guests, chef needs little introduction, but just to summarize, I've been given a very long introduction if I started this on I think you will probably mind and chef has asked me deliberately

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to keep it very short and succinct so what I'll do I'll just highlight a few things now share Sajid almost expertise, isn't it? Am I right chef, you started a successful IT business. And then you went on to study Islamic Studies and completed a three year university diploma in Arabic language and Islamic Sciences at Imam Mohammed bin Saud Islamic University. Then he went on to train as a judge and successfully completed a thesis on the topic of liquidity management, specially with finance, I take it as your financial expert as well, as well as the judge and an IT professional and an Islamic scientist specializing and has a very broad topic. Alhamdulillah just like a lucky shirt, I can

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carry on with the introduction but I think we should get straight into the point. What do you guys say? Yes? Alhamdulillah. Okay.

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Sure, Sajid

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the happy Muslim family. First and foremost, what is the definition of a family? Let's start off with the very basics when we talk about a family. What are we? What should we look forward to? How do we establish that family? Labor if we come Smilla Rahmanir Rahim hamdulillah salat wa salam ala Rasulillah ala alihi wa sahbihi Omen Wala. And we begin in Allah's Name, we praise Him and we request praises and blessings upon Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah Melinda and pharaoh now and finally my LinkedIn I was either an admin or mln Yeah, Kareem, we ask Allah to teach us that which benefits us and to make us benefit from that which he taught us and to increase us in

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knowledge and action to my brothers and sisters in Islam. salam ala aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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It's a pleasure to be with you all, mashallah, after a long break, the last time I was here was in December 2019. The end of December 2019. Before Allah Scott Irwin arrived and everything Subhana Allah changed and we, we know what I'm talking about.

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You rightly said the topic today is very important. And it might come across as a generic topic, the family, the Muslim family, how

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to have a happy Muslim family. And though it might seem generic, the reality is it's a topic that needs to be discussed.

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It needs to be discussed regularly. It needs to be discussed comprehensively.

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from a faith perspective, from the principles of fit perspective, from the objectives of the Sharia perspective, it's not just about soft tools and quick tips and three ways to ensure this and three ways to prevent that, we really need to discuss it because we live at a time and you rightly said, there is an effort to destroy the values of a Muslim family, obviously, that effort is not pitched in that manner. But it is an effort. And you could say it's an institute institutionalized effort.

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It's not pitched and branded as an effort to break the Muslim or the family and the family structure. But what it calls for leads to the digression of values that

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are connected to what a family is, especially from and from an Islamic perspective. And we know Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

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the Omar Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and I mentioned this in this hole in 2019. The Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is the solution to humanity, it was an ummah that was sent to give not to take. It was an ummah, that collectively, was given the responsibility of carrying the legacy of Mohammed Abdullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and his brethren from the Gambia, it was Salatu was Salam.

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After Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there's no prophet to come. He was the final messenger, the sealer for profits. But what the Gambia ELOHEEM was Salatu was Salam came for the objectives that they came with.

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The mandates of that of those objectives still exists today, this whole battle between what is the truth and what is falsehood continues to exist today we know that she upon

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his enmity towards mankind continues to exist today. So in the absence of messengers, there had to be a solution. And that solution is this OMA that Allah stopped transferring this noble legacy from the shoulders of one man to the shoulders of another man. But then he took it from the shoulders of one man, and he moved it to the collective shoulders of an entire nation, that is the home of Muhammad Sallallahu, ala was and that is you and I, Brothers and Sisters in Islam. And that is why Allah called us in the Quran, and titled as in the Quran, as the best of all nations. We are the best of all nations, because we collectively carry the legacy that the best of individuals carried.

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They were the best of individuals because they carried this legacy. And we are the best of nations because we collectively carry this legacy. Right? And a nation is made up of families.

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A nation is nothing but a makeup of families. And from a Muslim perspective and an Islamic perspective, the Sharia has great interest in ensuring that these families live upon the mandates of all Allah. Allah rasool Allah said, and his Rasool said, why, because of the bigger picture, if the families develop themselves upon these mandates that we will have a nation that will be able

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to carry this legacy, which is a mighty one, and the heavy one. And I recall seeing in this venue two years ago, and Subhanallah, I didn't think the discussion will become more prominent two years later, or three years later, and it seems it will become more prominent as, as the years go on, unless we reel ourselves in.

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The reality Brothers and Sisters in Islam is that

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we need to ask ourselves as collective carriers of this legacy, what are we doing to raise children who will be model husbands and wives tomorrow? What are we doing as collective carriers of this legacy? To me model parents today?

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What are we doing as collective carriers of this legacy to instill within our homes the necessary knowledge, that knowledge which every Muslim needs to know not knowledge, which it's enough for the scholars to know? And this changes from time to time Brothers and Sisters in Islam, our parents? They are we need to know knowledge today that our parents didn't need to know. And when I say need to know I mean, it's compulsory upon us as individuals to learn this knowledge, which was not compulsory upon our parents to learn or upon our grandparents rule and because we live at a time that is different to their time.

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But if we're not changing the curriculum in our time, and if we're not being visionary in how we raising our children to manage the circle

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Come stances tomorrow, then how will we meet Allah subhanho wa Taala on the day of pm and answer for the portion of the legacy of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam that he placed on our shoulders, collectively Brothers and Sisters in Islam, and one of the things I was saying to the brothers is that this year, I have a mission. And if it needs longer than a year, then it will be longer than a year to talk on topic.

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But from a from a very direct perspective Brothers and Sisters in Islam, and that perspective

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is highlighting that your marriage is a sign from the signs of Allah recognize this.

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Why am I choosing this approach? Because it seems that we today are

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comfortable

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racing to the exit door.

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As soon as there's some turbulence we comfortable doing that which constitutes the breakup of the marriage, without recognizing that you in your marriage are assigned from the signs of Allah, Allah said women Aya T and Haleakala come in and fusi come as version that from the signs of Allah, His Lordship, he is one he is his, his worship His names and attributes, is that he created you and answers the question about the makeup of the family he created from you your spouse's from the signs of Allah is that he created from

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us our spouses.

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It has Kulu Ilia these are

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these are mandates that come about as a result of Allah doing this for the the divine wisdoms, behind Allah creating for us our spouses that we derive serenity from them and peace from them, and serenity in the absolute form Brothers and Sisters in Islam. When marriages happen, I mean, I just witnessed two niqabs mashallah happening simultaneously after, after Salah Terrassa today in the masjid, and I looked at the people to panela happy and excited and I was making dua to Allah within my heart, that He Allah keep them happy and excited like this. The lady not be in a few months, this Nika there is a moment of happiness in this masjid, it ends up becoming a moment of sadness, because

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now we engage in the leadership of this masjid, demanding and a dissolution of the marriage, a conclusion to the marriage. Why? Because we too quick to run for the exit door.

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Recently, someone tweeted and said, that the reasons why marriages break today and existed before is because our mothers had nowhere to run.

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Our mothers had nowhere to run to today, as girls, we are more educated and we are more able. So we don't put we don't have to put up with the things that our mothers put up with. And I responded to this person. And I said, it might just be a case that your mothers had the level of Eman that you are yet to taste. And they understood that the marriage that they are in is a sign from the signs of Allah, a level of knowledge that you are yet to experience. And it could just be that they looked at you as a child, and they had a vision to raise a child that will be holistic. So they thicken their skin, and they stay true to the cause looking at the bigger picture, whilst you are not upon that

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vision, and you are willing to let your child taste the disaster of a breakup. Now, I'm not advocating Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

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that we should remain imprisoned in a marriage. But I'm saying there are real cases of marriages that do not deserve to break, but they are breaking because we are not recognizing this marriage as a sign from the signs of Allah subhanho wa taala. What makes up a strong marriage? What is the element of a strong marriage? Recognizing when you say I do, and she says I do that we are manifesting together Allah's existence, and that is the only one worthy of worship and that he is one in his names and attributes. And if you understand it like this, you will hold your marriage at a new level of sacredness. This for me is the key ingredient that makes up a successful marriage. I

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don't mean for this to be a lecture Brothers and Sisters in Islam, but some points do require

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more words than normal and I hope to get also interaction from the audience and hear from them. Inshallah, can I just ask how many of you who are single, put your hands up if you single, please put up your hand up higher? Alright, so the vast majority are married Alhamdulillah and I asked for a reason just to sort of create a framework in terms of advice that I shared with him. How many of you are married let's show of hands.

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So this is not an equal balance. So some of you are stuck in between he and I are married but not married or

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Not married?

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How many are divorced?

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I suppose that's a sensitive question to ask in a gathering, right?

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Okay, so, Zach, a lucky show such a beautiful introduction into this topic. Now, just as a pointer for all of your brothers and sisters, you will have an opportunity to ask questions to share such as well. So if you have any questions as you go along, write it down on a piece of paper or take your phone out and note down any questions you may have, towards the end, we will give you an opportunity. Another thing, there is a quiz that is to come Inshallah, after the talk. And this is where every single one of you will get involved in, including all of you at home, that when it's being broadcast live online, you'll be able to take part in the quiz as well. And on that note, if

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you're watching this on over the live broadcast online, then you can type in your questions in the chat. And we will ask that to Chef insha. Allah, right? Sure. The concept of family. The Cambridge Dictionary defines a family as a group of people who are related to each other, such as a mother, a father and the children. Now you've defined beautifully what an Islamic family looks like.

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The starting point of that family, presumably is that marriage that relationship when both of them say I do, and they start, and this is where Allah subhanaw taala and surah Baqarah. When he says that they are your government and your government for them?

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What is the prerequisite of a marriage? What should couples look for before they even go into that marriage?

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I mean,

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we're going to keep this general in terms of this day and age. And my I just want a very small just saw that because a lot of people are looking to get married, if you're looking at it from a faith perspective, the no doubt compatibility.

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But then what does compatibility entail? And the sherry or she has guidance on this? And highlights that from the core concepts of compatibility? Is

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religion and character. Right, and I, religion and character supposed to be one thing, but I say this today, because religion is something perceived, right? But character is something experienced.

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So in answer to your question, it would be religion and character.

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But when we talk about compatibility, if I could just expand since we've mentioned the term, what I do advise our young brothers and sisters in Islam,

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today to do and very fast, as soon as they can, is develop an understanding of the world, they wish to see the day that I

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have an understanding of the world you wish to see the day you die. If you understand the world you wish to see, then that becomes a world you seek to create. Right. And when you understand the world you seek to create naturally, now you have ideas of who you need to marry or want to marry because that person is going to be with you on this journey.

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This is one of the greatest ingredients in terms of taking care of this idea of compatibility. Sometimes, people write to me.

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Not sometimes a lot of times that you know, I'm going to see a sister, so I'm going to see a brother. And then they say, you know, what questions? Should I ask him? What questions should I ask her? Right? And it you know, it used to amuse me, but then it began annoying me. Because, I mean, you can't cheat in your exam.

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Right?

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I'm not marrying this person, you're marrying them. So you can't use my questions. You got to have your own questions, how can I tell you what to ask them. And if you don't know what to ask them, it means that you don't have an idea of the world which you seek to create. Once you have that idea, you start developing questions that you'd like to ask because now you have a concise methodology

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in terms of you achieving the understanding of the person in front of you, right, and some of the youth that I mentor, I actually trained them upon this. And some some feedback that's come back from some of these interviews is one life unlike a job interview, any hours, you know, like, there was a brother who I spoke to often so How was the interview? Because Allah chef, she asked me questions. I don't think if I lived another 10 years old, I thought of now the 15 years out of thorough where where do these girls get these questions? So I said, I think you need to sign up and I need to give you some tips as well, because you should have had counter questions as well. You should have known

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what to ask her. The reason why she asked you these questions is because she's developed an idea of the world she seeks to create and she wants to understand who you are and who you're not. And this way The problem is, sometimes what happens is or the reason why I use this as an approach, what is the ingredient coming

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ability and compatible understanding compatibilities. With division. I use this as an approach because a lot of marriages, 15 years in 18 years, and naturally, people become wiser over time. Right, the mother starts thinking of her grave starts thinking of a death, she has children, she's thinking about, you know what she wants to see on her deathbed when she looks at these children. And because of that,

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now, she has an understanding of where she wants to go. But she looks at her husband, and he's not the person who's going to help me get there. And vice versa. Over time, my husband starts becoming conscious of the day he dies. Right? He's looking at his children, he's looking at society. And he's thinking of things he needs to change in his life steps he needs to bring into his life, maybe it entails we need to leave the city or leave this community or move to another place. But he looks at his wife and he sees Subhanallah, this is not the female or the woman who's going to help me get there.

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And this is where we see this turbulence then creep in. So before getting to that stage, we can look after the compatibility aspect from the outset and make sure that we married the person, that's going to give us the best chance of having a marriage for a lifetime, not a marriage for life. And there's a difference. A marriage for lifetime is like the marriage of Khadija and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that he, you know, years after she passed away, he's remembering her. And he speaks about her. He remembers her when he hears the voices of her friends. That's a marriage for a lifetime. Right? So what gives us the chance for that, in my humble opinion,

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having this vision, and building our children up to see the world they want to see the day they die. As parents ask your children this that you're going to get married soon. compatibility is a key ingredient from a fifth perspective, how are you going to determine that the person in front of you is compatible for you? The day you die? When you look at your husband? What do you want to see? When you look at your daughter? What do you want to see? When you look at your son? What do you want to see? When you look at your parents if they are alive? What do you want to see? When you look at your community? What do you want to see?

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Ask your children these questions? Right? Don't raise your children in a way whereby they are afraid to think.

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And this is the worst thing we can do as parents. So compatibility is the answer. We'll come to the children with that later. Inshallah. Now, just take a look here for that now, since majority of the guests here are married. And I'm assuming you want to learn a little bit more about what what family means in terms of marriage and what we can do. Now in the West, we face many challenges, in terms of the whole institution of marriage retreat, touched upon in the beginning,

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that we see a lot of families are dissolving their divorce rates are going higher separation is going higher. And there might be various reasons for that. But as Muslims that are in families, and we have established, we started that journey, we've began that journey. How do we address those concerns and those challenges? And what is the secret to a successful marriage? Yeah, I mean, I mean, the questions you're asking me the entire courses, and the secrets to a successful marriage are many. But you rightly said that people are married. And then they hear this advice. And then they say, Well, look, you know what, perhaps it's too late. And normally, what I do with couples, is

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try and work with them to have a shared vision.

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And that's a very powerful thing, in my experience, that when husband and wife sort of come together upon a shared vision, then they start seeing each other's absence as fulfilment, and not necessarily as neglect, and I'll explain myself,

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if you and your wife have a common vision, and you both understand the world each seeks to create, and you bought into her vision, and she's bought into your vision, when you come back after a long day of work, and the children now are, you know, have come and they demanding your lifetime and you see her busy with them. You don't see her neglecting you. But rather you start seeing her fulfilling something important to you. Because what she's doing is going to help you see the world you seek to create, when he's out doing certain things that will help him create that world which you both seek to create his absence to you is not neglect, his absence to you is fulfillment, because you, you

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understand what he's doing at a deeper level. And you have connected with that level.

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This is, um, come come back to the vision this is for me is the secret of a happy marriage, we can get the couple to truly understand each other. And many a time when we enter the turbulent stage, and we get couples to speak Subhanallah on more occasions than one

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you find Subhanallah as if you know they've just been introduced to each other for the first time. I've literally says Well, I never knew these things about my husband. He says I never knew these things about her. And because Subhanallah they didn't get when they got married. They didn't take care of

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The ABCs of this century, don't remember I said, our parents, they had a different system. Right? This whole vision discussion maybe didn't need to apply as much, then our grandparents may be even less, right because it was, it was easy to create compatibility and the world wasn't advertised as it is today. Today with the internet today, with globalization today with global markets today with what the televisions and satellite TVs, you know, our likes, our habits are being imported and exported without us realizing it. Right. So this, this idea of compatibility goes beyond just what I like to eat, and can she cook? And can she cook? And how does she cook this meal, or how does she

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cook this meal, it goes beyond that it goes into deeper elements of of our of us as human beings, as human beings, meaning our entire makeup, our mind, our heart, our soul, our body, our knifes the five entities that we are made up of. And again, it goes back to this, understanding who you are and who you're not, and entering the marital phase upon that knowledge. And if you already married, then come together, and in a pragmatic way, talk to each other. Right? Try and understand why she has a problem with you when you are doing X, Y and Zed. And let her understand why you have a problem with her when she is doing a, b and c. And let her explain it. So you can and you can get it. And you do

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the same for her a lot of the times is we leave these things a secret, and then will you share your pan to whisper the ideas. And then Subhanallah some of the weakest forms of having good thoughts about each other exists in a marriage. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us to have good thoughts about each other. What do we do? We start suspecting him, he starts suspecting her, then we start looking at his mobile. And then we look at her mobile. And he was talking outside the house for 15 minutes before coming in. What was he talking about? Who was he talking to? Why did he have to speak outside and he couldn't speak him had the memory shape on the Swiss versus from Japan. And

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then it leads into action. And we start spying and doing haram by looking into places we shouldn't be looking into. And then through active means we start destroying a secret from the secrets of a successful marriage. And that is trust.

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See, I have come across an analogy share anything negative, you know about one another, write it on sand. Because anything that's written on sand, when the rain falls on it, what happens it washes away. But anything positive, we know about one another, we write it on a rock, we engrave it on a stone. Because what happens to that writing is stays there forever. Now, that I want to add to that shows a very good statement. But what I'm talking about is ensuring that what you see as negative is really negative. Sometimes we perceive it as negative, but it's not. It's actually a positive, which is what my question was going to be that do you feel that in a lot of families, we take the

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negatives and we make that the focus of our relationship, and we can't forget about it when it was meant to be written on sand forgotten about and it wasn't meant to last but what tend to happen. I don't know about you guys, but sometimes we see in marriages, something that happened 10 years ago, we bring it up every time there's an argument. When was the last time you bought me flowers? When was the last time we went shopping together? When was the last one when holiday all these negatives are not supposed to be brought up is suddenly becomes a focus but anything positive packet with the whole example? That's exactly. So my question was one of my sorry to interject, go ahead. Many years

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ago, I remember this very early on he mentioned because the problem with couples they hold packets with holes in it. So whenever one does something for the other, they put it in, in the good packet has a hole in it, the bad packet has no hole in it. So whenever someone does good, they put it in the good packet. When when bad happens, they put it in the bad cop packet. And then the time comes when they look at the two packets and they see the good packet empty and the back packet full. And then based on this they conclude conclusions. Subhanallah but go ahead. And Allah Subhanallah so this was this was a reflection that is that a case? Do we unintentionally find ourselves in a

00:34:12--> 00:34:48

position where we forget because as human beings, we all make mistakes, right? Is anyone anyone here that can sound perfect? Can anyone say that? No, we are human beings. We make mistakes. I make mistakes, everyone makes mistakes. But is there a tendency that any relationship we often tend to forget the pearls that Allah has given us we often tend to forget that we should be grateful for Allah for giving me for example for my personal life. My wife, I'm very grateful for her. She's here. I don't know if she's right here right now. But I often don't say that to her that I am grateful for every moment that she's patient with them because the nature of my work, I work in the

00:34:48--> 00:34:59

charity sector I work in media. The nature of my work is very, very busy. But I often fail to remember that she has been very very patient with me throughout my life and I think a lot of us 10

00:35:00--> 00:35:20

Forget that. So what is your thoughts on that process? And how can we as Muslims should we remember the good and ignore the bad Show me? Show me I think you should remember you know and tell her what you feel. You should appreciate she here I think she's taking my son out Shay Oh, there she is. Mashallah. MashAllah

00:35:21--> 00:35:27

Allah subhanho wa Taala in the verse in which he says from the signs of Allah these marriages,

00:35:28--> 00:35:55

Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Allah Bina Kumada, Rama, that Allah has placed, divinely placed between the couple, affection and mercy. I translate muda as affection and not love. As is a love is a mistranslation actually, love and mercy is a mistranslation, it's affection in mercy, affection is manifested love, is recognized love.

00:35:56--> 00:36:02

Affection is when you take what you have in your heart, and you make the other person feel it.

00:36:03--> 00:36:27

And a lot of cases that I deal with Subhanallah This is the issue. He loves her, she loves him, but he doesn't feel it and she doesn't feel it. Now, affection is made manifest in different ways, depending on your culture, depending on your norms, and this goes back to compatibility because sometimes he is doing it, but she doesn't recognize him as doing it. And she is doing it. And he doesn't recognize him as doing it.

00:36:29--> 00:36:31

Sometimes affection is in

00:36:33--> 00:36:39

you overlooking the meal that was cooked, that wasn't cooked to the best of her ability. And she says Subhanallah the meal today?

00:36:40--> 00:36:46

You know, it has less salt, for example. And you say really, I didn't notice? I think mashallah, it's

00:36:48--> 00:37:26

you know, it's it's a fantastic meal. But she knows she's cooked it right. For some people to Pamela that is that is manifesting the love that you have for her and she connects to that. You know, my husband, mashallah, he appreciates me, he or she would translate it as he appreciates that I'm not his enemy. And I wasn't sitting the whole day plotting to kill him, or poison giving poisoned food, I was really wanting to cook him a meal that was that was, you know, that was that he would come home from and it would be wholesome for him. But I made a mistake. And him recognizing it and not making a big deal out of it. She feels loved because of it. Right? Sometimes a wife does something

00:37:26--> 00:37:54

in her way, for example. And if a husband is not in tuned with how she shows affection, then he doesn't recognize it. And then he's, you know, he's, sometimes he say, I've have heard this, they say what I don't get affection from home, she's busy with the children, and so on and so forth. And now I'm looking for it elsewhere. Firstly, this is not a you know, looking for it elsewhere shouldn't be the first point of action. Secondly, if she's busy with the children,

00:37:56--> 00:38:16

is she not build helping you build the world which you seek to create? Would you want to have those children astray? Or guided? And if them being guided means she had to put that time? How can you not translate her time with those kids as her showing you the love that she has for you? Because she's taking care of a matter that means so much to you?

00:38:17--> 00:38:51

Right now, I'm giving these examples are not the soft touches, because the physical ones, some people relate to it. Some people don't some people find affection in a hug. Some people find affection in, you know, he, he asked in words, he came home and said, How was your day? Are you feeling okay? Are you sure? You look a bit tired today? Why don't you rest? Some people find the affection is shown in that way. Right? But inshallah people do that more often than none. But it's connecting at a deeper level, that affection is shown. And it's a good point that you mentioned that sometimes we do these things, and we love our wives. But are we doing enough to make them feel that,

00:38:52--> 00:39:33

and this is my point about conversation. And what I sometimes try and do with the couples is I tell them to have a cave day, a cave day, meaning a day whereby you take the children, leave them in a safe place with the grandparents, if possible, or with guardians that can take care of them and go away for a weekend. Go away for a for a long weekend. And talk about things this is a meet this is a marriage meeting in our businesses have a getaway, we taking our stuff we're going to do strategic planning for for 2022. Right, they do this at the end of the year, we're going to book out a resort and we taking the team there and we're going to be locked in half days of meetings. Do the same

00:39:33--> 00:39:48

thing with your marriage, sit down with each other as part of the strategic meeting, say to each other, for example, give me three pieces of good news that you have from our marriage year together. And I will do the same. Let's move the thing along right. Give me the three things that you felt.

00:39:50--> 00:39:59

We're failures in terms of our marriage from this year in terms of yourself, and he does it in terms of himself. Then he does it in terms of what he thinks she failed him and vice versa. And this kind of

00:40:00--> 00:40:33

discussion takes place. And it could be that No, it wasn't a failure. It was actually success. But she had knowledge that you didn't have and you had knowledge that she didn't have and take it from there. What three things? Can we improve on this year towards each other? What three things can we improve on towards our children? For example? Okay, you know, I come home, I feel like I've lost you this year, you are too busy with the kids. Okay? What can we do over here? Right? There's always solutions in business, we talk about outsourcing, etc. We're not We're not saying outsource your parenting. But I'm saying, come up with some plans. This way, at least proactively. It's a marriage

00:40:33--> 00:40:43

in progress. It's a marriage that works, when things don't go so well. Chapin finds barriers before he can inject an evil thought in the heart and mind of a spouse towards the other spouse

00:40:45--> 00:40:57

Sakala hit on that, on that note actually moving into parenting, and I'm conscious of the time because I want to go over to the audience to take some questions from the audience as well. Now in terms of parenting, we see that a

00:40:59--> 00:41:31

lot of the times in the West, we are pressurized by culture or work. Often the cost of living is very high. So we can't survive on the husband's income. The wife has also gone to work, but then there are children involved in the children don't get to spend enough time with the parents and both father and mother are very stressed out. So on that note, what is the best way to approach parenting? And how do we navigate the challenges that we face in the current times? Just like a locator and you know, I was asked this question recently in a in a in a webinar. And

00:41:33--> 00:41:35

I used to teach a course called

00:41:37--> 00:41:51

from Palestine to Egypt and epic journey was Alcocer Institute, the Tafseer of Surah Yusuf. And the beginning of the story of Surah use of Allah tells us that he had a dream, the sun, the moon, and 11 stars, frustrating to him.

00:41:54--> 00:42:38

Five Decades later, these are conservative metrics. We're now use of his, you know, he's in his in charge of the store houses in Egypt. He ran such a phenomenal operation that he had excess food for Egypt and Palestine. And his father, his father comes, his then wife comes and they live in brothers arrive. And subhanAllah they enter upon him or her Allah, whose agenda as Allah subhanho wa Taala says they fell into frustration, and use of exclaims and says here that we do. Yeah, I mean, cobbler SubhanAllah. This was this is the interpretation of the dream that I had five decades earlier. The scholars of the sea, they sort of zoned into this dream, and then the manifestation of the dream.

00:42:38--> 00:42:51

And they said, and this is a view from the scholars of the sea, that the son in the dream represented the Father. Yeah. The moon in the dream represented his wife, and the 11 stars represented the children.

00:42:52--> 00:43:06

How do we deduce from this? The roles, the mandatary roles, and Subhanallah some interesting insights, that when the sun is out for when the sun is out, the sun has risen, the sun is out.

00:43:08--> 00:43:51

People people feel safer. Earning takes place people work during the day, photosynthesis happens convictional rainfall happens, right? The world has an experience that is novel and different to the world at night. When the sun is out, the moon is there, the stars are there, but they're not very visible. Right. And this is similar to a father in the home that a father in the home his role should be one whereby when he is around when when when the family knows that there's a husband as a father, the family feel safe, the family feels secure. The family feel catered for learning takes place, Allah has placed on him the responsibility of feeding of clothing of housing and taking care

00:43:51--> 00:43:52

of essential needs.

00:43:54--> 00:44:07

That's the father's role. The children are not distant to the Father. But because of the normative role of a father and what he needs to achieve naturally they are more with the mother and when the sun is out. The stars are there but they're not seen.

00:44:09--> 00:44:30

The moon on the other hand is serene, it's beautiful to look at its light is satisfying. The full moon is amazing. The brighter the moon, the brighter the stars, when the moon is out, the stars are visible. The brighter the moon, they twinkle in a brighter way, similar to a mother in the home. The mother is serene to look at. She's

00:44:31--> 00:44:45

a source of comfort in the home, the children around her, the more effective the mother the more effective and well mannered and well raised the children. If she does it the right way, just like the moon, the brighter the moon, the brighter the stars,

00:44:46--> 00:44:59

similarities, and this has taken back two roles. And then the scholars of tafseer or those of the dubber. They took the discussion further and they said what happens when the sun

00:45:00--> 00:45:04

plays the role of the moon and the moon plays the role of the sun. What happens?

00:45:05--> 00:45:12

What would happen? What happens? Guys, you have an eclipse, you have an eclipse, a lunar eclipse, or a solar eclipse.

00:45:13--> 00:45:19

Right. So what happens in the home when the mother wants to play the role of the father and the father wants to play the role of the Mother,

00:45:20--> 00:45:22

you're gonna have a social Eclipse.

00:45:23--> 00:45:29

And when an eclipse happens, the power of the sun isn't felt and the power of the moon isn't felt and the stars are nowhere to be seen.

00:45:31--> 00:45:39

And in the home, when a social eclipse happens, the role of the father isn't felt, and the role of the mother isn't felt, and the children suffered the most.

00:45:41--> 00:45:57

This is a sociology lesson from the Quran, from Surah Yusuf. If we only pondered Subhan, Allah, over this, this book of Allah subhanho wa Taala that he revealed to us now on that note, the roles between husbands and wives fall into two categories, mandatory roles and elective roles.

00:45:58--> 00:46:01

mandatary roles are roles that you can never give up on.

00:46:03--> 00:46:07

Elective roles or roles that you can assume, and you can

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you can detach yourself from those roles. So for example, when you become a husband, that's a role that is a mandatary role as long as you are married.

00:46:19--> 00:46:27

Yes, you are a son, that is another role. But in looking after your role as a son, you cannot forget that you have a role as a husband.

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You cannot log out of the role. You cannot tell your wife it's 5pm Friday today, my Salama don't quote me husband, call me bro. And I'll see you Monday 8am. This, you cannot do that. You do that with you elective role, which is your job. You cannot do that with a mandatory role. Now sometimes life puts us in peculiar circumstances whereby, you know, especially the 21st century capitalist society, nobody will Mal, there's no,

00:46:57--> 00:47:01

you know, Muslim fund. Muslims have an established or cough.

00:47:03--> 00:47:10

Cost of living is very high, the UK is going through massive inflation at the moment, it forces both couples to go into the workspace.

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This is a sign of the times. And this is a difficult reality that we need to navigate through, but we need to navigate through it. It shouldn't be that we adopt an elective role out of necessity. But we adopted in a way that we perform in that role at the expense of a mandatory role.

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It shouldn't be at the expense of a mandated year off. This is a key Brothers and Sisters in Islam. You can be an employee as a mother, but not at the expense of you being a mother.

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You should do everything in your capacity to make sure that the fundamentals of you being a mother are not neglected because of the electoral that you're in. And think about it. We had people leaders of the Muslims, how you know, the caliphs, Omar Abu Bakar, the best of the best and after them Haruna Rashid and others that came forth from the omegas and the ambassador empires. They manage the OMA and ever expanding OMA but they also never forgot that they were father's take Omar Abdulaziz Haroon Rashid for example, how many times do we see in the history of Harun Rashid, he's talking to his wife Zubaydah and telling her Don't forget my my advices about Amin and moon right. Honorable

00:48:30--> 00:48:54

Abdul Aziz. He had a open line between the Mora bee that he assigned to his children and him even though he would have these cables coming in from all over the Muslim lands, from his ministers from his governance. When his Murghab be sent a cable or a letter about his children. It had to be treated as a cable. It had to be on top of the list.

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And there's a narration about either homeroom classes or Haroon Rashid.

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That once a cable came in, giving him a summary of how the day went. And the summary said everything was good except this son of yours. He started his one Salah slightly after the Imam did the tacview.

00:49:17--> 00:49:20

Look at the level Brothers and Sisters in Islam

00:49:21--> 00:49:29

that they didn't outsource parenting to the more obvious the leader of the Muslim is very busy, but he never was a leader of the Muslims at the expense of his role as a father.

00:49:30--> 00:49:35

So a letter gets written back immediately. Not next month, not next week. This is an immediate matter.

00:49:37--> 00:49:59

Of letter goes back to the more of B as soon as you get this letter, shave my son's hair off. The more of B said in the letter. Your son everything was except that he started the salah just after the Imam because he was busy combing his hair. Look at the level of detail. So he sends a letter back and says as soon as you receive

00:50:00--> 00:50:06

This reply, shaves his head off. Because if he's hair stops him starting his Salah with the Imam, he doesn't need his hair.

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I'm not telling you to do this to your children. That was then when the 21st century. But get the point Brothers and Sisters in Islam that today we send our children to school to madrasa. We seek assistance so that we can manage circumstances and situations that are unique to the 21st century. The question is, how are we doing it? Are you outsourcing

00:50:26--> 00:50:40

and living your career at the expense of you being a parent? Or is the school and Institute finally in tune with your vision of what you want for your child? That's how you need to manage the role.

00:50:42--> 00:51:19

Just beautiful, beautiful words and definitely found it really inspirational. Exactly. Okay, well let's go to the topic but I'm trying to give some practical practical advice elective roles Brothers and Sisters in Islam you have flexibility with your job you have flexibility with the question is how much or how flexible Do you want to be many people say well if time can I tell you something? We always have time. We always have time for the important things in life. Some people say well I'm busy I say brother up how busy are you sir? I'm really busy. Say Since when were you busy? Allah this holy, I've been busy. Say Did you ever leave home without your pants?

00:51:20--> 00:51:25

He says no. I said but you were busy. How come you never forgot about wearing your pants?

00:51:26--> 00:51:27

Because it's important to you right?

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No matter how busy we are. We have time for the important things saying you busy is a cop out Brothers and Sisters in Islam sorry for the direct language you I have good thoughts about you. But this is going to go online and people are going to listen to it so we must be we must have a man and and we must fulfill the obligation of Allah upon us. This is a great Amana me being here, Allah. It's an honor, but it's also an Amana one would wish that Allah chose somebody else. Now jacala Chef Sajid now the time has come for us to take some questions from the guests as well. And for those of you who are watching this program online, please feel free to type in your questions in the comment

00:52:06--> 00:52:32

section. As soon as I get it, get it on my device here I will present that to shift surgeon. Right? What we'll do if anyone has a question, please put your hand up and there is a mic in the hole that will come to you and you can ask the question inshallah. So where's the first question going to come from? There is a mic on this intersection and the brother section right. First question the brother right at the back. If you can, please stand up and then ask your question. Zack.

00:52:34--> 00:52:46

Solomonic Allah is Allah como la cama Crompton for being here and facilitate in very, very important and timely and relevant discussion, especially also offense close to these two most.

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We live in a time where children are easily distracted, we find that we spend 345 years trying to teach them some key qualities. And just by being exposed to the digital space, whatever shape form and time period, for example, you teach your child not to swear, somehow he or she bumps into online video gaming, let's say fortnight for example, within two, three months, you find that the picked up language and February and at times it feels very frustrating that it's very squeezing, you know, that you invest so much. And then it something so valuable can be lost so quickly, with the level of pressure and diversion that our kids are facing. And sometimes it's It's choking in terms of what

00:53:38--> 00:54:04

kind of expectation or kind of hope and what kind of return we can get from our kids. How do we, I guess balance a sense of where our opposition is with Allah in that regard? Sometimes it goes beyond one's ability at times this particular vehicle, particular vehicle. Do you want to touch on that? Sure. Take one more question. And then we'll work and do. We'll take one from the sisters section. Are there any questions from the sisters for now? Or shall we come back to you?

00:54:06--> 00:54:42

One Okay, fine. Yeah, salam ala. One question you said our roles for the Father as well as a mother. What about the roles of the children? What should they do? Could you like give a brief summary of that? Okay, good question. So both of them are related to children. One question is related to children finding themselves exposed to the outside world the outside influence and how to manage that. And the other questions by the system if somebody didn't catch the role, there is a role for the father role for the mother what is the role for the husband and wife we didn't go into all of the parents right okay. Now so we will touch upon the role of the

00:54:43--> 00:54:44

shed some light

00:54:45--> 00:54:48

jacala You highlighted a very important point and matter.

00:54:49--> 00:54:50

And

00:54:51--> 00:54:59

Allah protect me and protect us all, you know, giving advice on these things. As I said, it's a bit a man, and sometimes we try and formulate advice and only only Allah knows

00:55:00--> 00:55:04

How suitable it is. And it's very difficult to talk about these matters

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in a public gathering, but then give an answer that's unique and specific because there's always more information that's required.

00:55:13--> 00:55:23

Personally, I sincerely feel that our children should not be exposed to smartphones, to social media accounts to YouTube.

00:55:25--> 00:55:56

Until the age of 18. Sincerely I feel that regarding YouTube, perhaps is more difficult because it is also used as an educational tool. But if they are exposed to it, they should not be given a personal device, they should be exposed to it on a device that has public access that has foot traffic in the room that they are accessing YouTube from and also as parents again, play your role as parents don't say I'm too busy at work

00:55:57--> 00:56:28

set the filters set the criteria and set the checks set the balances for that account through which they use it because the Sheree our brothers and sisters in Islam and hear this and hear it well. In its entirety in its entirety my banana or assess haha lol masala will become visionary in its entirety is founded and built upon wisdom and transformative benefit.

00:56:30--> 00:56:48

And even Timmy and others have said very eloquently a shout out to Jay Utley lethal lethal masala who attacked Syria with a Khalil meth acid, what is it, that the Sharia has come to give birth to that which is beneficial and to make it abundant, and it's come to reduce harm and make it extinct.

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You have to work with these applications, with the internet, with the with television with everything else with the schools that you choose for your children with everything else, based on this reality, what will bring about benefit, and what will bring about home, whether it's Xbox, whether it's PlayStation, whether it's the gaming world, you have to work with them upon this mandate, you have to be switched on as a parent, you have to read, you have to seek advice. You need to learn from other people's experiences. Don't let your home be the first experience for you. Right. There's enough articles about fortnight and its harms and will erode the villa I have cases

00:57:26--> 00:58:10

Brothers and Sisters in Islam of children who have committed suicide because of these games. And I've been contacted direct direct cases that this has happened to my child will love him, Stan, right. So we need to be switched on as parents. This is part of playing your role as a parent as you go to upskill your skills at work and training and retraining and so on and so forth. Train yourself as a parent, get in tune, get in touch, read the right books, read the right news pieces, watch the right channels, understand what is going on out there before it becomes a reality in your home is number one. Number two, my dear brother, we have to educate and trust this whole idea of Accra. We

00:58:10--> 00:58:24

cannot be defeated by the situation when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam arrived the people worshipping idols there was accommodating the Kaaba naked they were bearing girls alive. It was a situation far worse than that which we have today. Okay.

00:58:26--> 00:59:09

But the prophet saw some came with the Accra and he worked. He worked. He didn't. He didn't globalize the situation to the extent that he felt de capacitated in front of it. What he did was come into the space with value, make dua to Allah and he was persistent. And Allah flowered his efforts SubhanaHu itad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So if you got to talk to your kids, we spoke about talking to your wives, talking to your husbands, talk to your children, sit them down, trust their minds. Understand that the imitative by nature, they're not trying to become the worst of creation. They by nature, imitate the environment that they are in. And if you are not managing that

00:59:09--> 00:59:50

environment and understand it is being managed for you, if you fail to plan you plan to fail, if you don't raise your child, the TV will, we need to talk to our children, Allah helped me with my children, I have my son with me, Allah helped me with my own children. These are constant things we think about. Teach them, talk to them, you know, bring a shear home to speak to them. If if it's needed, we bring tutors to come home for them to pass the GCSE is how many of us invest in a share becoming a companion to my child that may be a positive influence. Right? So the what you've highlighted is true. Dealing with it is in layers. It's either we have we have it at a fresh level.

00:59:50--> 00:59:59

There's no problem right now. What can we do? I told you don't introduce them to stuff until they're 18. But if it's already happening, talk to them, educate them, and depending on the age of the child

01:00:00--> 01:00:35

Allah make that easy. The older they are, you know, you have to become also creative in how you speak to them, that you don't belittle their mind the Quran never belittle their mind the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never belittle the children. Today Subhanallah we treat our children in, meaning they get this impression with their parents, that they are not sophisticated enough. But then they watch YouTube and TV and it tells them that no, you are sophisticated enough, right? We, you know, I remember when I was young guys look at a Rubik's Cube and think this is too difficult today, children are solving them in 20 seconds in 30 seconds. Subhanallah through YouTube, by the

01:00:35--> 01:01:13

way, right? So if they're going to feel empowered by elements outside of the mother and father, then this is something we need to take ownership of. And when we, you know, lay the blame, then we should also put ourselves in the firing line. We need to use the prophetic model with our kids. And we need to do it we need to do Brothers and Sisters in Islam when look, I mean, what makes a person like Zedi been Sabbath come to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam as a young boy, and want to go out with the Muslims when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made the call for them to go out to defend Medina and he seeing all these adults or harbors going, and he wants to go only to be turned

01:01:13--> 01:01:48

back. And then what makes him go home crying to his mother, and then his mother, you saying why are you crying and then he tells her what happened. And then what makes the mother take him back to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and say, well, Messenger of Allah, this is my son. He's memorized 14 Sutras of the Quran the same way Allah revealed it to you can read, he can write, at least use these skills in the service of Allah and Rasul Allah, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Okay, go and learn Hebrew. And he comes in two weeks speaking fluent Hebrew. And then the prophecy is golden Syriac, and he comes back speaking fluent Syriac, until he's an official

01:01:48--> 01:02:27

translator for the Rasul of Allah subhanho, wa Taala sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and then he becomes a scribe of the Quran, his writing skills are used. The Quran is revealed. The Prophet calls him he reads to him, he writes, the prophet tells him read back to me what you wrote. And this preservation process took place, to the extent that this kid was empowered by the messenger, that when Abu Bakar decided to gather the Quran in one place, he makes a double rabbit, the lead of this project, and when was mine decided to standardize the recitation of the Quran. Zaid is called the game and made the lead of the project. It started from a mother who dragged her child back and

01:02:27--> 01:03:02

didn't take no for an answer, and said, If you can't do this, what about this? Right? So this is look, there's so much to say Brothers and Sisters in Islam, I'm trying to offer some inspiration and some food for thought that inshallah you go home. And as couples, you think about these things, and become innovative for your home? And then if it works, share it with the community as well. Yeah, just go ahead. Sure. I'm conscious of time because you have to leave shortly. Just to touch upon the sisters question the role of a child and I'm assuming this is obviously for children that are much more understanding a little bit older, when they are able to make decisions for themselves. What is

01:03:02--> 01:03:09

the role of joy? How can a child be rightful children towards the parents and towards the community? Allah He asked to be patient.

01:03:10--> 01:03:12

And sometimes you need to be beautifully patient.

01:03:13--> 01:03:14

That's how life is right.

01:03:16--> 01:03:26

Without patients, I mean, when Allah tells us in pseudo philosophy, about the importance of dour, what also Bill, what does he say after what also be suffering?

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You got to have patience. Without patience. You want to live with each other. And obviously I'm answering based on age you said an older age, Allah says Wakaba rabuka. Taboo. Yahuwah below early daily sunnah Allah says Allah has decreed that you worship none but Him and be excellent to your parents. Your role is to be excellent to your parents. Your role is to be patient with them. At times when being with them is difficult, and to be thankful to Allah at times when being with them is easy. As our parents grow older, their health deteriorates.

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You know the abilities deteriorate, what they're going through, it will happen to us. May Allah save us what will happen Brothers and Sisters in Islam if we don't learn from our experience with them? How will we teach our children right how to be with us when we get older. Right parents are creatures of habit as they get older. Right? So sometimes they have some habits, that they're not trying to oppose us. But this is who they are. And this is what they're comfortable with. It's for us to be patient is for us to give them the our is for us to advise them towards ideals, especially if we are advising them to get closer to Allah to leave some cultural practices etc. We should never

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forget who they are. And we will entrusted to them and their role in our life and be patient with them. Be excellent with them. Right the best of character. I mean, I tweeted the other day, that to swannell on the football pitch when the ball goes over the fence. You see a young boy running after the ball, and I see that sometimes the Subhanallah poor lead. He's just running

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After it because get the ball back let's start the game. But when the father mother calling from upstairs, he doesn't even come to his screaming What do you want now

01:05:09--> 01:05:42

and the self before never used to do that when they parents called the child, the child would run and humbly stand in front of the Father as if he was the king and say, The Father Yes You called What can I do for you? Right. So be excellent in character. And if you taking care of them and they have a difficult Be patient, they are your parents. Your ultimate role should be to help them die upon Eman and die the best of death so that you can be reunited upon demand in the hereafter. How they were a means for you to be raised upon Eman. Be a means for them to die upon demand.

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And as Allah says, we're letting me know with the bathroom

01:05:50--> 01:06:21

with the bathroom Maria to be Amen. And how can I be Maria to him? Allah tells us that for those who believed and then the ratio and upon belief and those children's were means for their parents also and they died upon a man in the hereafter Allah will gather them in Jannah. If the parents at a lower place in Jana and the children at a higher place in Jana, Allah will raise the parents to the level of the children and if the children at a lower place in Jannah the children are lower and the parents are higher Allah will raise the children to

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the higher part. And Brothers and Sisters in Islam. I mean, I know I can see he wants to close the session very soon. Let me let me close with these words.

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Be a marriage upon a man.

01:06:37--> 01:06:40

Be parents upon a man. Be children upon email.

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Be Jenna builders in your marriage and in your home. Build Jana build homes in Jana. From the home you live in on Earth. That is the bigger picture. That is the bigger picture. This is what will help you get over all the petty squabbles. This is what will help you see or have good thoughts about your partner about your parents because you are governed by a bigger picture. You are put here to build Jana, not Ben Jana, at the end of the day Wallah. He will be Lehi or to Allah He when you in the era.

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You can talk about how much you hate your father or hate your mother, the child

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the day they pass away.

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You will be thinking of the good they did for you and the bad you show towards them. And when you in the ACA and stand in front of Allah and Allah questions you about them. You will be wishing that you could go back and be excellent to them because the standing in front of Allah is Severe. Again to the husbands and wives, build your marriages upon Eman. See your husband as your gender proposition. See your wife as your gender proposition. You are people of Eman the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to the men, you've made them halaal for you with the word of Allah be Kelly Mattila. You've placed Allah between each other for those who have been Nyssa Hira. This is what he said to

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his companions he spoke about during the final sermon, the farewell hajj, he guided the Ummah towards recognizing that this marriage is a sign from the signs of Allah and it is a matter of amen. If you are having issues in your marriage before you decide to bring outside counsel, ask yourself what is the level of my Eman these days before the husband has issues with his wife and wants to complain about her outside the home? Ask he should ask himself what is the level of my Eman these days? How am I with my Sala How am I with my Quran? How am I with the data of God? How am I with the Sunon ask yourself that the pious before us used to say that will Allah He we never used to sin

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except that we used to see the effects of that sin on our wives in our writing animals that day our riding animal traveled us on that day we had a difficult time with our wife. Look how they used to put it down to the weakness of Imam to their sin. Today we point the finger not realizing that three fingers always point back at us so this is the message your home is a sign from the signs of Allah don't break that home. Don't break that home celebrate that you are a show of the heat on Earth at a time when many are refusing to manifest that to hit just like a lucky shirt Sajid unfortunately we've run out of time I know many of you might have other questions but we haven't got enough time

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online. I know you have posted a couple of questions just run out of time. Unfortunately this time it's not possible inshallah we'll try to get an answer from share later on and we'll try our best to pose that inshallah. But jacala Keisha Sajid Omar, it's been an absolute pleasure listening to you words of wisdom Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless you may Allah subhanho wa Taala increase you may Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us all to benefit from pearls of wisdom from a shoe like yourself and may Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us all to see

01:10:00--> 01:10:34

stay on the right path and be able to do justice to the religion of Islam now, since Allah forgive me for any mistakes from myself and Shay upon and everything corrected is from Allah alone and just located into yourself to the team at Eastland masjid and this machine is close to me this community is close to me my details are with the masjid This is not a hit and run program. Whoever has questions thereafter, please do speak to the masjid staff and inshallah they will source for you my email address and please do get in touch and shall locational just like Allah here now Chef if I can ask you just to stay there for just a minute please. And we are going to go into the second half of

01:10:34--> 01:10:49

the program which is going to be a quiz session. So whilst we transition from the pearls of wisdom from share into the quiz session, I asked you all to give a massive thick beard for our short sighted Ramadan for the information that we have learned pick me.

01:10:51--> 01:11:30

Jack allocation, Sajid, Shukran. Right, brother and sisters, we are going to go into the next segment of this program now in sha Allah and this is the quiz section. This is where we are all going to have a little bit of fun but also engage with this, the event the happy Muslim family. But before I introduce this next segment, let me quickly tell you a little bit about who brought this program together. This program has been brought to you by the East London masjid, and all of you are familiar with the Islamic Masjid but for the purpose of our viewers online, the Masjid was established in 1910. With a vision to serve the community. The vision of the masjid is to utilize

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this building this premises not only for Salah, many of us come here to pray salah but this is just a small part of the wider services he provides. So there's a lot of marriage counseling goes on Nikka does take place. People that have problems they come to the masjid so this is a bigger mission there is in this masjid and for this to be successful, we need your engagement. So may Allah bless you. And please carry on supporting the masjid in bringing programs like this and I hope that you found it beneficial in sha Allah. So that's just a little summary about the masjid vision and what they want to do in future they want to do more programs like this. So inshallah keep in touch with

01:12:07--> 01:12:52

the masjid and do come forward for suggestions with what you would like to see what you'd like to learn from and the masjid will facilitate that inshallah right now the next quiz session will be introduced and run by brother Osman Azim is from family events, an organization that have been running treats retreats for many many years and the retreats have been organized for families in the UK as well as internationally. The slogan for family events is Love is love living Islam whilst having fun so there is no harm in having fun having a little bit of banter having enjoyment but as well as learning the beautiful religion that is Islam. So without any further ado, let me introduce

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to you brother sound whiny Come on I have to live on account to yes of course so I'll hand over the mic to brother Osman and he's going to do this standing so inshallah please feel free to engage with him and there are prizes there are some beautiful prizes I wish I could get my hands on them. But you will get to know what the prizes are shortly inshallah Allah but those won't over to you.

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So a quorum Tala

01:13:16--> 01:13:23

Wow mashallah, I've traveled quite a distance away to join you this evening. I need a better Salam. Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah

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children. You can do better than that. Beat the Parents ready. Salam aleykum Rahmatullah.

01:13:33--> 01:13:54

Okay, masha Allah, I was told I was going to have much longer to do this segment, but unfortunately, I've been told I have now five minutes before the other to quickly do the segment. So I want to go straight into it. I need two brothers who are married and their wives are here. So the two brothers who are married I know there's definitely one brother that I know is married. I'm not sure if his wife would say honey if

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you want watch sir. Okay, you're lucky any brothers I need quickly. I need two volunteers to this part of the game show. So I need two brothers. Okay. fuddle we've got to see if I can ask you brothers to stand here.

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I quickly need your name. abdomen, abdomen and your wife is here. I'm gonna ask the brother's wife and she can go to the back with the sisters roaming mic is it has to be done quickly and brother yours

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after mashallah, if both of the wives of these brothers are here, please I need you to go to the system with the roaming mic. See if you can do that. Now. Without that we're not gonna be able to do the game show.

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I'm trying to be very quick so please forgive me if I'm a bit pushy and a bit rushy.

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So do we have both of the the brothers wives there? Yeah. Both. Yeah.

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Okay.

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So how this is gonna work? It's quite simple. I'm going to test how well you know your other half. So I'm going to ask questions. And some of these questions might get you in trouble later on.

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So I apologize for that. So this is how it's gonna work, I'm gonna ask a question, you need to give them the answer to the volunteer, they're not in the mic. Once I understand what the question is all you've got given an answer. I'm going to ask one of you guys for that. So I'll give you a test on a really simple one. So I want to know, what is

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your wife's favorite food? That's the question. I'm going to ask for brother of the man's wife to give an answer to the sister volunteer there. And not in the mic. So when there's an answer, I'd need to raise your hand.

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We've got an answer. Yeah. Okay. No pressure, you get this wrong.

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You know, what's gonna happen later on you?

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So I'm going to rush I'm going to count to three and I need an answer. One, two, no pressure three.

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Most likely to be Pisa, sir. Pizza. Is that correct or incorrect?

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So either the sister can say all the volunteers up to you, the sister can say or the volunteer in the mic. One minute. Is that correct?

01:16:08--> 01:16:12

Incorrect. Incorrect. Angle.

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Okay, so I'll let you discover what the favorite food is. On the car journey home. So we're going to ask our dear brother remind me of your name, please. After Muhammad after same question, we can ask his wife to please let the volunteer know her favorite food we have it? No pressure 123 Shower Swadharma schwannoma chicken or lamb?

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Lamb lamb Swami? Is that correct to incorrect? That Oh, Mashallah. So I'm going to quickly run through two more. It only gets much spicier, we build it up. But I'm going to have to jump straight in. So do forgive me. This is going to be now a difficult one. I'm going to jump straight in. I'm going to jump straight in. This is a difficult one. How many handbags does your wife own?

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So I'm going to ask Brother Muhammad after his wife for a number please. Normally I build you up but this is I have to jump straight in because I'm just conscious of the other.

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So you're gonna have to start counting the yellow one. The blue one. The second blue one, the fourth blue one.

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Do we have an answer from Brother Muhammad after his wife? Yeah, not yet. Just wait, please. Okay, so you've told the volunteer?

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Yeah. Are you sure you want to give an answer? Okay, Bismillah I'm just gonna say one.

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He's saying one. He's trying to be nice, but I can tell you that's wrong already. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So that's that's wrong. Can we can we have an exact number? Yeah, not far away to not far Mashallah. Not bad. Not bad. Okay. Brother up the means wifey we can have an answer, please. Not on the mic, but just to the volunteer.

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Okay, no pressure.

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Are you ready? If I could say she may have more than two mainly to but no, no, I don't need maybe Yes, sir. No, sir. Three bags full, sir. A number.

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Mainly to mainly to know how many does she own? Is the question.

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Want to take the fifth? The fifth amendment that happens in American means I don't want to I'm too scared to speak. My wife might.

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She has quite a few. That's why I'm hard to tell. I think she said the same. She has quite a few. That's not the same amount. I needed a number. So I can't accept this. Let me just one nil to the brother. Muhammad after sorry. She said you have to know sisters know how many handbags they have to say come on. I don't believe that.

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Sisters, you will know how many handbags you have. Right?

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No, he was that many? Yeah. Allah protect the brothers and they want it. Okay, I'm going to go straight into this one. And this is going to be a difficult one. And we're going to end with this one. So, I would like to know

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how many days which which day sorry, how many days how many months and how many years have you been married?

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How many days how many months and how many years? Well if you want to know how many years how many months and how many days and likewise I need something from sisters not yet. Once you have given an answer let me know

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I normally give some level low

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long word Oh

01:20:00--> 01:20:02

Whoa whoa

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whoa Yo

01:20:36--> 01:20:42

yo yo

01:21:03--> 01:21:07

Oh

01:21:24--> 01:21:28

remember how to read a verse oh

01:21:31--> 01:21:38

hello

01:22:12--> 01:22:20

Oh

01:22:26--> 01:22:27

just say

01:22:36--> 01:22:38

hello

01:23:16--> 01:23:20

Oh

01:23:47--> 01:24:13

So just very quickly inshallah will and I'm not I saw your phones come out just as the gun started so I have to ask the question, were you guys using the calculators? Or were you communicating to the to the wife there? Okay, so I'll just go from my right we're gonna ask for the moment. Have we got an answer? Yeah, okay, so when you're ready Bismillah I think is 17 years, one month and

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17 years one month in eight days is that correct or incorrect? Oh no. Okay, how many tell us 18 years 29 days? And how many months? That's the 29 days isn't that 13 Allah We ask Allah to give you another 18 years and many more I mean I'm not I'm when you be married that long I'm not gonna hold it hold you to account because my shell has been a long time. Okay. Brother when you're ready, Mohammed atta after

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13 years, six months and for this 13 year six months and four days is that correct? Incorrect.

01:24:54--> 01:24:55

On the mica we can't hear

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only by one day only by one document

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mashallah brothers, if you want to be in the good books of your wives, that's how you do mashallah, with that we're going to end I've got some gifts here for both of the family or both the husband and wives here. handler this is exclusive Honey by the beehives which actually on top of Eastland the masjid

01:25:18--> 01:25:40

here so this is for you guys to try it's mashallah very exclusive. You can't buy it it's only given us gifts or tissue with that zakat brothers sisters, hopefully, you guys want to have more of these games show so please do let the team know here in sha Allah and we can arrange more with that Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Giacomo Allah here massive tech base for brothers mom's efforts as well take me

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with that. We come to the end of this event and in conclusion, thank you very much Zack malarkey to every single one of you. And in sha Allah if you want to give some feedback if you have any suggestions if you want to learn more about certain topics, please let the masjid know and we will try our best to bring more programs like this in front of you in sha Allah for everyone online Zakouma lucky for joining us and being patient with us. I do apologize we couldn't give you more time but inshallah we'll try our best to do better next time to the viewers of TV one and online. Thank you very much for joining us. And to all of our guests here. Thank you for joining us, was

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh