Parenting In Practice
Channel: Sajid Ahmed Umar
File Size: 32.95MB
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He or sahbihi wa sallam at us live and Catherine lamb Dini and my bad idea brothers and sisters in Islam, my dear mothers and fathers Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
All praises belongs to Allah subhanho wa Taala. We praise Him, we seek his assistance, and we seek His guidance, and we seek refuge in Allah subhanho wa Taala from the adverse consequences of our deeds and the evils of our souls, also of Allah subhanho wa Taala decrees guidance upon the nun can misguide him. And whomsoever Allah subhanho wa Taala decrees misguidance upon then none can guide him and peace and salutations be upon Mohammed Abdullah Abdullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam are servants of Allah, no children of Adam, the topic that has been
given to me is a topic of utmost importance, a topic a topic of utmost importance, because it is a topic that defines our futures, both in this world and the next. And it is a topic that Allah subhanho wa Taala has given due diligence to in His revelation, and a topic that Muhammad Ali Abdullah, Saleh Allahu Allah, he had spent a lot of time teaching and advising towards the topic today, beloved brothers and sisters, is related to parenting. Now, this is very a topic that we can sit and cover in half an hour, or 45 minutes or so this is not a topic that that can be done in just an hour. It's a topic that requires an entire workshop. And it's a topic that requires constant
revision, constant revision, because it's a process. It is a process that we experience every single day, especially for those who have children. But even though
we have cited this topic, as a topic requiring a longer period, it doesn't mean that we should not discuss it even in our shorter gatherings because Mariela Eudora kulu larrieu truck julu that which cannot be covered in its entirety should not be left in its entirety. So inshallah, we will try to do some form of justice to this very important topic. My dear brothers and sisters, I said that this topic is important because it defines our futures. And there was definite truth in the statement of the one who said that our children equals our future. And from an Islamic perspective, we say that our children equals our future both in this world as well as in the future, because in terms of the
era, our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, If I met Adam, then when the son of Adam dies, and in another narration, either metal insam when mankind passes away, when we pass away, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in Katara, Emmylou lm intellia.
all avenues of earning rewards are cut. all avenues of building our agenda are cut. all avenues of making our scales heavier on the day of the AMA, are cut, except for three ways, except for three ways.
One of these three,
as taught to us by our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is knowledge, which we might have taught, whilst we were alive, it was beneficial knowledge. And we taught it to somebody who implemented that knowledge and taught it to others and they implemented that knowledge as well. That particular teaching and spreading of knowledge Allah subhanho wa Taala will allow that spreading an implementation to benefit us after we pass away.
Another point to add after we pass away as taught to us by our by our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is sadaqa jariya
that particular charity that is considered a recurring charity. So you might have been the means of the formation of a well in
A rural rural area somewhere in Africa, for example, and that well, was a means of quenching the thirst of hundreds of people for decades. So that particular sadaqa is a means of benefiting us after we pass away.
And the third way of benefiting, after passing away, is
by attaining they do
have a pious child for his or her parents.
And this is the point of concentration here, when I said that our children define our future even after we pass away, for the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam said, a pious child who makes dua for his or her parents benefits, the parents that have passed away after their death. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us pious children who make dua for us after we pass away, I mean, so this is what defines the
purpose of these particular discussions, my dear brothers and sisters, and in my humble view, I don't think that there are enough topics related to parenting and the byproducts of parenting. In our societies. Today, we discuss a range of topics in our masajid in our Joomla lectures every Friday, but I don't think there is enough discussed related to parenting.
I thought long and hard of how I can
discuss this particular topic in the time allocated today, the roadmap that I would actually use in discussing this particular topic, because as you can imagine, it's universal. And it's an ocean. And once I was contemplating, I remembered a statement of one of the pious predecessors before us, when he said that the right of Islam
is to learn
is to become educated.
And the right of becoming educated and learning is to put that education into practice.
And the right of practicing is to fear Allah subhanho wa Taala Mo. And this is a very eloquent statement, and a very profound statement. And thus, via the statement, I thought, that I make the session of our discussion, surround two points. And if we have time three, the first point is a little bit surrounding education. The second point is a little bit surrounding the importance of action. And the third point, inshallah, if we have time, which will be a closing point, I hope to discuss with you the importance of not becoming complacent when we put knowledge into action.
So as for the first point, my dear brothers and sisters, and this is pertaining to knowledge, and what will make us understand how important knowledge is, as parents or servants of Allah, and oh, children of Adam. Islam has given us a great responsibility. It's not a case whereby we have children. And we say, you know what, it's a trial and error process, we will give it a go give it a shot, and we will judge down the positives and jot down the mistakes and inshallah next time round will do better. Right. This is not how we operate, when we have children having children is a great Amana and a great responsibility, a create a manner and a great responsibility. There's no time for
trial and error here, because our children have put their trust in us it is as if they said to us when they were born, that my dear mother, and my dear father, I did not have a choice in who would be my parents, but you are my parents. And I have put my trust in you, that you will do right by me. So please do right by me. It is as if they have said this. So when we understand it from this particular angle, we understand that there is no room for trial and error. There is only room for persistence in achieving excellence. And this has to be our motto with our children and our parenting of them. That excellence is the minimum requirement. Excellence is the minimum
requirement. Because Allah subhanho wa Taala has written SN and excellence in everything. And our Sherry has gone to great lengths in teaching us the correct practices when it comes to parenting our children, so we haven't been left astray.
Rather, we have been left with perspective with perspective. Because perspective is knowing who you are. And perspective is knowing where you are. And perspective in our case is knowing why we were created. And perspective is knowing where we will go and perspective is knowing how to get there successfully. This is what perspective is. And this was the reality and essence, behind Allah subhanho wa Taala, revealing books and the essence behind Allah subhanho wa Taala sending prophets.
So let us take a little bit from the teachings of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam regarding the first point that I promised to discuss with you all today, and that is education of our children.
With regards to education are servants of Allah, no children of Adam, or just before we discuss education, we need to discuss an important point because when I sat and contemplated the reason why we are failing in a certain sense, with regards to our parenting, and upbringing of our of our children, I'm not painting a gloomy picture here. And I don't want to be steel minded here. Okay, we're going to look at the situation as we see it, we're going to look at the situation as we see based on the majority of cases, and there's no doubt that living in the West and living in countries which are not considered Muslim countries, we face challenges that are unique, we face challenges
that are unique. So if I do say something that might seem negative, I don't want it to be a means of us becoming despondent. Rather, I want it to be a means for us to revise ourselves and benchmark ourselves to the advice that is being shared. That's what we need to do. We benchmark ourselves to the advice being shared. And if we find ourselves lacking, we take on and fill the gaps. And if if we find ourselves Alhamdulillah not lacking, then we use it as a means of thanking Allah subhanho wa Taala and we use that shed as a means of reminding ourselves Alhamdulillah so we should not become despondent because the Muslim Ummah is not an oma that recognizes an issue and then sweep it under
the carpet. We're not an oma that hides that which needs dealing with, we are an oma that takes the bull by the horns, if I can use that colloquial term. So if I said something that we feel is prevalent, and might be negative, please don't become despondent rather become people of positivity, and be positive in the message that's being shared. and use it as a means of uplifting all our situations and the advice being shared.
And you can take pleasure in this is for myself, first and foremost is for myself, first and foremost, because Alhamdulillah Allah subhanho wa Taala has blessed me to be a parent as well. My dear brothers and sisters, and my dear mothers and fathers, the first step towards good parenting before I delve into the concept of education. The first step in good parenting begins when
when do you think it begins?
When you choosing a spouse,
the first step towards good parenting begins by choosing your spouse. And that is why
it is not correct to say, marry the woman of your dreams. Rather marry the mother of your children.
Because the mother of your children should be the woman of your dreams.
Right society always says we marry the woman of our dreams, and we become conditioned and desensitized by what society puts out there. But it's important that we become people that are true to our core selves. And I've said this in the courses that I've had, that I've conducted in the UK, I said, we always get taught that we either a product of nature, which is what science tells us, are we a product of nature, which is what the philosopher's tell us. And I say that we are a product of our core self, that is who we are, we take the best of nature, and we take the best of nature, and we leave the rest of nature and we leave the rest of nature because Alhamdulillah we have a we have
the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala and the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam to govern what we should take and what we shouldn't take. So after we take and leave the final product is the core You are the core me and this is prevalent in Mohammed Abdullah Salalah alayhi wa sallam because he lived in a society that worshipped idols.
He lived in a society that observed tawaf was naked. Well, he has a villa. And he lived in a society that on the day of arafa, they would stand on was Delica. They tweaked the hedge, even they tweaked the practice of Ibrahim allihies celeb. And they made the day of out of a day of standing on the plains of was Delica. Why? Because they said that was Delica was from the harem, and arafa was not from the harem. So they tweaked it based on their cognitive abilities. They tweak it based on their cognitive abilities. So we find Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wasallam in this particular environment, but he never ever worshipped idols he never ever observed to us without any clouds. And he never
observed his hedge before he became a prophet. Based on the views of the dilemma that he did observe hedge before becoming a prophet. He never stood on the plains of buzzelli Harada. He stood, as for the teaching of Ibrahim Alayhi Salam on the plains of Africa. So he left the words that they had, but he adopted the good that they had in terms of their character. And there is no doubt that the Arabs at that time had good character for Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, in my brief to live with Tim McCarroll, UCLA, I have been sent to complete the best of characters,
the most honorable of characters, he was sent to complete it, not to introduce it,
which teaches us that they had good character, and he adopted these characters, for he was known as the honest one, and be truthful one and the trustworthy one, and we know the famous defending the Sierra with the natural sweat, and who they chose to solve and arbitrate in that particular difference of opinion. So Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was his core self amidst the chaos, and admits the good that he lived within, during his time. sallallahu alayhi wasallam. So we are our core selves are servants of Allah, and our children of Adam. And even if society tells us to marry the women of our dreams, we leave that and tweak it, we tweak it. And we say, We either define what
you mean by women of our dreams. And we define that as the mother of our children. And that is why it is important to have a vision, it's important to have a vision, we need to vision our youth so that they know which spouse to very many times we find our children getting married, whilst they don't know who they are. They don't know who they're not, and they don't know what they want. And not knowing what you want is a byproduct of not knowing who you are and who you're not.
It's important that we vision them. And this is a parental duty as well, and falls under the category of education, we need to help them define themselves.
Because everybody has unique characteristics, and unique qualities. So it's of utmost importance that we do our bit in making them understand who they are, by definition, by definition, because when they understand themselves, they know what they want to see on their deathbed.
And when you know what you want to see on your deathbed, you can start writing out your missions, and part of the mission is marrying a working spouse. And the same goes for our sisters. The same goes for our sisters, our sisters, our daughters need to know who they are and who they are not. So they have their own vision. And they know the best paths to match. Because when a home runs in harmony,
we produce productive societies. And for a home to run in harmony, there has to be synergy between the female of that home and the male of that home. And the best way to create synergy is to ensure that there's a shared vision in the home. There's a shared vision in the home, that when the husband is doing what he's doing, the wife at home feels as if she herself is achieving her vision.
She doesn't feel that her husband has left her alone, or her husband is neglecting her. She actually feels that she is building the vision that she wants to see on her deathbed by her husband practicing whatever he does. This is I know it sounds technical, but this is reality. It sounds technical, but this is reality. If you want to have an ideal situation. You need to
To get two people a vision to choose each other, to choose each other, and when they do so it leads to productive homes productive homes lead to harmony within the home, and harmony within the home leads to productive societies. And I ended the course,
I was teaching surah Yusuf in the UK, I ended the course, talking about how surah Yusuf teaches us sociology teaches us sociology, and how important harmony is in the home, and how detriment the lack of harmony is to our children into the use of
Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us that
use of Allah He Salam saw a dream. And in this dream, he saw the sun he saw the moon and 11 stars prostrating to him.
And according to the minority view of the Olympics,
and that's the view we will use for the purposes of our similitude. And analogy here. The minority of the alumni said that the sun in the dream represented the Father, and the moon in the dream represented the mother. And the stars in the dream represented the children. This is what they said. Now,
the remember before us, given the wisdom that Allah subhanho wa Taala granted them taught us an amazing lesson. And they said that if we compare the son to the Father,
what we see is that they are great similarities when the sun is out.
money is created, and is increased. Because when the sun is out, that is normally our working hours. And this is the case when the father is in the home, when the father is at home. He's the breadwinner is the breadwinner, right? And he ends. And then they say when the sun is out, you don't see the stars, the stars are there, but they're not see. And normally in the day when you see the father, do you see him with the children? You don't see him with the children.
The children are with the mother, not with the Father.
And when the sun is out, we feel a sense of security.
And isn't that the case when the father is at home?
When the father is at home, the home feel the greatest sense of security, the mother and the children feel even more secure. When the father comes home. This is not correct. Yes. So this is the symbol feud and analogy between the Son and the father. And when we look at the mother, and in the dream of use of Allah He Salam based on the minority view of the dilemma of Tafseer, when they said that the moon represented the mother, if we analyze the moon and the mother, we see that the moon is serene, it's beautiful to look at. It's peaceful, and it gives luminous light. And if we look at the at the home structure, we find these qualities present in the mother, the mother is serene, the
mother is beautiful to look at the mother creates a sense of peace in the home.
Just like the moon creates for us at night, when the moon is out, we find the stars twinkling. And when you see the mother for most of the day and the night, you find her with the children, and the children are happy and running around her they twinkling as well. When you look at the moon, you see that it takes its light from the set. And the brighter the sun, the more luminous the moon. And the same is the case in the home. The more effective the Father, the more effective his role in the home, the more effective the role of the mother becomes as well.
It's a great analogy.
And then they say that when the sun tries to be the moon, and the moon tries to be the sun, something happens, what happens.
We have an eclipse, we have an eclipse. And when in Eclipse happens, the role of the Sun is inferior, and the role of the moon is inferior, and the stars are nowhere to be seen.
And when we look at the home as well, when there is no synergy between the sun of that home, and the moon of that home, there is no harmony between the mother and father, the husband and wife of a particular home. We also have an eclipse except that that Eclipse is known as a social Eclipse, a social Eclipse, and when a social Eclipse happens, the role of the mother is rarely felt and the role of the father is rarely felt
who suffers the most? The children were Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. So it is this introduction in sha Allah, that we dive into the first point in parenting based on the roadmap that I cited for you earlier and that is education.
are servants of Allah, Allah Children of Adam. Education is of utmost importance in the lives of every Muslim of every Muslim, especially parents, because Allah subhanho wa Taala said to and fusa Kumar alikoum now, he commanded us to protect ourselves and our families from the hellfire.
So if we lack in our
education with our children, we patient ours, we place ourselves in a very difficult
situation, we place ourselves in a quandary, really. That is what we do.
And also de la sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, I
couldn't look him or I
could look homeless. At each and every one of you are
shepherds, and each and every one of you is responsible for your flock, and our flock
is our children. They are our flock. So Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught us that we are responsible over them. And if we are responsible over them, rest assured that Allah subhanho wa Taala will question us and our abilities and our activities with regards to them. Because Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not say anything from himself. Everything he said was what he from Allah subhanho wa Taala when my empty Quran in our in who he loves you, you have everything he said, was what he nothing was said from himself, and from his desires. Everything which he told us was from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So educating of servants of Allah is of utmost importance. And when we
look at society today, we find a fundamental flaw
with regards to this concept of education,
between parents and their children. And that fundamental flaw, in my humble view,
that the educational institute is supposed to teach our children manners, and it's supposed to teach our children Koran, and it's supposed to teach our children Islam.
I think this is a fundamental flaw that exists in the conscious of most parents.
My dear brothers and sisters, we need to understand that the educational institute that we have in our societies, only complements our role as parents, that's what it does. It doesn't become a proxy. It doesn't take over our responsibility as parents, it complements it. We in our homes, have to ensure that we teach our parents Islam, and the madrasa will fill in the gaps for us, we need to ensure that we as parents, teach them Quran. And the madrasa will complement that role for us. We need to ensure that we teach them adapt, and the madrasa will complement our role for us and fill in those gaps that we might have missed. That is the role of the educational Islamic Institute, in our
societies. Their role is to complement
our parenting for us and not do the parenting role for us.
This is something we have to understand. Because when we understand this, we understand and realize the great responsibility on our shoulders. And it might mean that we need to start working
Because many of us increase because we think that we have somebody doing the other job for us now are servants of Allah, and oh Children of Adam. Parenting is our responsibility. Because children imitate by nature, and they will imitate what they see. And they will imitate their environments. We are all imitative by nature. This is our nature. And it's very clear in our children, I'm sure we've seen it that a time comes when they start doing exactly what we do and it's actually scary. When we're looking at a two year old and we see ourselves and things Pamela, those habits I have and here it is in front of me. If we neglect we are basically nurturing an Omega
That will neglect this great responsibility.
And the situation that we are in right now is a net result of neglection. That happened generations ago. And my message to you today, my dear brothers and sisters, is to be the change, become the change, stop looking for others to change our situations, with, especially in this regards, in Manning up as fathers and doing our jobs as parents, and to our dear mothers, and wonderful sisters listening in, I asked you all to be the change, become the change, Be the change, Be the change that nurtures generations that bring about this concept of educating our children from a parental perspective, and not the madrasa perspective that madressa My dear brothers and sisters, one teacher
at the madrasa, he has his own children at home to bring up he has his own children at home. And in the couple of hours that you leave your child with the teacher he has 20 children 20 other children besides your child in front of him, how much do you want him to give you a chance. So this is a fundamental flaw that we need to tweak in our subconscious. And we need to ensure that we engage in editing and making the changes that are required.
So this is the first point that I want to share with you with regards to the madrasa the other point, my dear brothers and sisters, my dear mothers and fathers, and all children of Adam,
and oh sevens of Allah, is we need to really give the Islamic aspects of our children's life due diligence and importance. I said earlier that we are conditioned by our societies. And the reality is that our societies push a very strong reason to educate them with knowledge, which is specific to this dunya.
And I'm not going to come here and tell you that we should strike a balance between their education and their learning of knowledge which is specific to this dunya and knowledge which is inclusive of this duty, and they are Hara, because that is the reality of the knowledge of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And the knowledge taught to us by Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I'm not gonna tell you to strike a balance because a balance has a negative connotation as well. When we say balance something, it means when something goes up, we need to bring it down. So something else can go up. I'm not telling you to do that. I'm not telling you to sacrifice sending your children to good
schools, so they attain beneficial qualifications of this dunya Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong at all. And to counter argue, I will share with you something that I share at the universities and so on and so forth, when I speak to the teacher, and I tell them that you should be the best pharmacist and don't just be a doctor, be the best doctor. Don't just be a teacher, be the best teacher. Don't just be a scientist be the great scientist and the best scientist be the one that the world is after. Be that one because Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us nothing but the best. And remember my earlier instruction, that excellence is the minimum requirement. Let's listen to how
Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us excellence. Allah subhanho wa Taala he gave us the best book via the best Angel jabril and he Salah to the best Prophet Muhammad Ali Abdullah, Saleh Allahu Allah He was seldom in the best language the Arabic language on the best of knights, Laila tiger, in the best of months, the month of Ramadan, in the best of pleases Mecca, and mocha Rama. And in this revelation are servants of Allah and all children of Adam, Allah subhanho wa Taala said that you are the best of all nations.
So Allah subhanho wa Taala has given us the best of everything.
So why do we find it acceptable to settle for anything less than best? Why? Why have we become so content in being mediocre? Why have we set such small goals?
why we've set such low goals for ourselves.
And Michelangelo said what he said that
the travesty is not in setting high goals or not achieving them. The travesty is in setting low goals and achieving them
because when you achieve those
You become content and relaxed, and you stop trying.
And my father used to always tell me, aim the sky and hit the clouds
in the sky and settle if you hit the clouds, but aim the sky, don't aim for the clouds.
And today I tell you, don't aim for the sky.
Aim for the moon because there's footprints footprints on the moon.
Or aim for anything less, you should now increase how high you aim. Because there's footprints on the moon.
So cannot be allowed. So we really need to govern ourselves and revise ourselves and really get in touch with our core selves and understand who we are, and understand why we were created and understand that we are ambassadors to Islam. We are ambassadors to Islam, we cannot afford to do a disservice to this great religion, to this world religion, to this to the only religion sent by Allah subhanho wa Taala. Oh, the MBR Allah salatu salam came with Islam, to submit to the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala is the moment that you live in.
So this is a point of urgency, my dear brothers and sisters, with regards to parenting, we need to change our styles, change our abilities, and really give due diligence to this concept of education.
Another point, my dear
attendees, that we as parents need to take care of, is our Tobia and nurturing of our children. This all falls under the concept of education, we educate ourselves and we become better in our education to our children. Right. And that's the point we need to concentrate on in our homes, is this whole concept of how we speak to our children.
We need to treat them as if
they are human beings, and not inanimate objects that live in amongst us. We need to forget this whole idea that our children are small, our children are young, and that they do not understand we need to forget this.
This is a wrong understanding. This is an incorrect understanding. We are doing a great disservice to them when we delay teaching them thinking that they too young to learn. Now I'm going to share you parenting in practice, from the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala. From a game surah Yusuf
Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us at the beginning of surah use of when you serve Allah He Salam sees this particular dream, Yusuf Ali salam, first and foremost, he goes to his father. He doesn't go to the guidance teacher at school. He doesn't go to the next door neighbor. He doesn't WhatsApp, his friends. Right? today. It's no more WhatsApp. It's WhatsApp, right? He doesn't WhatsApp his friend. He goes to his father, and he addresses his father with the most beautiful of words. Yeah. Oh, my beloved dear father, the softest way of addressing your father. And he informs his father of this dream.
So this teaches us by default, that iacobelli salon was a phenomenal father. He was phenomenal in educating his child, he was his child's hero. And he was his child's point of reference, when his child became confused.
And the only way he could become that was if he was constantly educating his child. His child saw that my father is a man of a man of knowledge, a man of wisdom, a man of trivia, and this is where I will go. To
get that information. I need to remove myself from this dilemma that I'm in with regards to that which I saw. So he goes to his father and he narrates this dream. Now, I want you to listen to parenting in practice. Listen to this amazing parenting in practice from iacobelli, Salah.
Yahuwah Salaam turns to his son, and he tells his son, yeah, boonie Oh, my dear son,
not young boy.
And little brat.
and the other words that we might not feel shy to share with our children today. He sees all my ideas and he speaks to him as if this boy is an adult. And if we look at the statements of the historians and the LMR of the scene, the use of was nothing but an infant. He was abducted at infancy from his home. So we're looking at a kid like our children just before they go to school, just before we send them to their jungle, which is school, and we know that use Valley Salaam will be abducted very soon and thrown into a tree.
hunger. But tapanuli acaba de Sala brings up this kid in his infancy he gives use of young use of universal values that lost with use of Allah His Salaam throughout his life. Absolutely amazing. That 50 years later 50 plus years later, when you see Valley Salam is reunited with his family, he's upon to heat and he's upon Good luck. And he is telling his father the lessons that his father taught him when he was a young boy suppiler of Violetta jacoba li Salaam says, My dear son, let toxis react Allah aquatic, do not. Do not reveal this dream to your brothers. This is a command. This is a command. And Alhamdulillah we are good at that. In regards to Command D We are excellent.
We command our children very well we get a stars in regards to the parenting department, category, romantic, right? Because we always tell our children don't sit there, wear your hat, wear your jersey, go to sleep, don't eat this, eat this. We're good at commanding. This is where our parenting skills are Mashallah prolificacy. Right. But jacobellis Alam teaches us that commanding is not enough. Even with your young children.
Even with young children, he tells his son after commanding him, failure key do like a Qaeda less, they shall plot against you. So Pinilla he is telling a young boy, don't tell your brothers because they might brought against you now, what would you like to do? And I would say, you know what he's too young to understand. He's too young to understand how can you tell a young boy, that his blood brothers, those who he respects it looks, looks up to, and those who he sees as advisors to him, they'll process against me will say, you know, what, just tell him that they too, he's too small to understand later on in life will explain the eternity life will explain no jacobellis. Allah says,
tell them why, tell them way ahead. Why? Because there's something known as a hole in the ozone layer,
and global warming, and UV rays, right? And it might need you to educate yourself further, because they might ask you what's a UV ray? They need to know how to you need to know how to answer them as well. Yes, teach them, teach them they never too young to learn, they have such receptive minds, their minds at this young age is like what a person who practices sculpturing and so on and so forth, will will define as manipulative clay, you know, when you put clay on the stone on the clay stone that goes around, and you can shape it before it hardens, you can do what you want with it. This is their mind at this age. This is where you give them this is where you make them and make
sure you don't break them. This is where it happens. Yeah. Kobani Salam says, less they shall protect against you. So he commanded his child and he explained his command.
So these are points for us are servants of Allah. When we tell our child something, tell them why tell them why they shouldn't eat something, tell them why they should eat something, tell them why they should sleep early. Tell them why. Because this creates re formation. And today's society has become engulfed in data collection, or sharing data, data which doesn't reform. And this is another point that we as parents need to change. And the mother says as well needs to change. So many times we find in our societies, we educate our children, we teach them the column of Allah subhanho wa Taala, the column of Allah, that which Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us makes the heart shiver,
which in turn, when a hardship is what happens the eyes tear, which in turn causes these hairs on our hands to stand. We teach them the Kalam of Allah, the same way we teach them mathematics and science and physics and other sciences. It's a process of data collection. It never had an impact on the souls it never had an impact on the hearts and all we did was ignite their minds. And what we need to start doing is change our communities through igniting one heart at a time, not igniting minds, ignite hearts, ignite hearts, because when you ignite a heart By default, the mind will be ignited as well. Because we need to start teaching them and making them understand the nature and
the net result of what the learning don't show them and amazing scenery. Through that scenery. make them understand the creator Allah subhanho wa Taala even more allow it to have that impact. Don't
Making the process of data collection, one plus one equals two, two times two equals four. And that's it.
We are doing a great service are servants of Allah to the inheritance of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam that which he has left behind for us, when we teach our children what he left, and they feel the same way they feel when they learn mathematics or science or any other knowledge which is specific to this. It's a great disservice. A great disservice to the knowledge left behind by Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us.
We need to become more obese people who nurture the oma.
It's not enough to share knowledge. Yes, it's one sin, not to share knowledge. But it's a negative to just give knowledge which has no tangible benefit.
It's just something known. We let the Sierra we know how many was at better. We know how many Muslims were there and how many non Muslims were there, you know, the Battle of but that's it. It's just it's just knowledge in our minds, it's information protection,
so that we can pass it to the next generation. But where's the tarbiyah? From the knowledge we taught? We have we ignited the heart and the soul. From this knowledge that we've given our children because we are servants of Allah, or not what this dunya teaches us, we are not bodies we are not insane because of our bodies. We are insane because of our mind, our body, our soul, our knifes and our heart. We are insane because of all the entities that Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us and we do not disconnect our soul from our book.
Just as this body needs to eat, so it can physically see it needs the soul needs to eat so it can spiritually see
and we feed our souls
Don't look so despondent. Right? We just highlighting points. inshallah, we're going to change. We're going to make our massage at hives of em of Serbia, and not just in not just it's not just education. Today we have Ministry of Education Minister, it should be Ministry of Information and education. That's what it should be. So that we never forget that the vvv the important factor behind knowledge and that is to reform
right? So Yaqoob Allah He Salam is teaching us education with reformation Yaqoob Ali Salam tells you, Sam, don't do this. And he tells him why. But yeah, Cobra Sam is a wise father. He knows that. I've told my son a very important point.
Yes, he's young, you and I might say don't share that point with him. But yeah, probably Sam tells us share it. But you know what builds your child even more now that you've shared it help them deal with the impact of that which you've shed jacobellis. Allah knows that my son is going to become worried and confused that my blood brothers will plot against me.
They will plot against me.
He's only a young boy feel worried and scared. Yakov Ali Salam tells the sun in the shade Finally, insomnia do movie, my dear son, by the SM even if they plot against you. It's not them. It's shavon. And Shay upon is a clear enemy to mankind. That's your enemy, not to breathless La Ilaha Illa La ilaha illAllah. How many of us have told our children about shavon before they go to school, before six or seven years of age Yahuwah Elisa Lam is teaching his son, my dear son, they are still your brothers. Whatever happens. They are your brothers. It is not them. It is a fun. And this is how you create unity between siblings. This is how you do Turtle Bay in the home. You don't just tell your
child, you must be united. You must not fight. Give them Tobia don't just give them an instruction. Let them feel the benefits and the positives of living in harmony. Let them have let them they need to buy into it let them have an emotional attachment to that which you've shared so they themselves can feel the importance of this knowledge that has been shared and they themselves can have a drive the drive from themselves to ensuring harmony in the home.
It's not the case whereby you said it so they're scared of you so they stop then you went for Salah you came back you started fighting again. So if you told them stop fighting, you just gave them the command and because they scared of you they stopped fighting. So when you tell them why you stopped fighting, they said because we scared of alpha.
They didn't know why really. We shouldn't fight
So iacobelli salam says, My dear son, it's not them. It's your
enemy who shavon. But now iacobelli salam has heard the dream of his son. And he knows that my son has something great in store for him. And Allah subhanho wa Taala is going to take this boy on a journey. So I'm not going to wait. Once I have the opportunity. I'm going to give him universal advice before I mean, I see a day where I can't advise him. I'm going to grasp the opportunity and advise him now. So he says to his son, he says, or Kevin Lee Kj Tabby Cora buco Are you coming to
Mooney Mehta who is a koala, Leah Boo Boo.
Boo, a barrage email what is
in Nora Becca le moon Hello, hockey team, listen to advice that should be written with golden ink and hung up on the worlds of history. Golden advice, he tells his son He was my DSM.
Whatever you face in life, whatever you face in life, I understand that this is a loss of Hannah who Ella's way of completing his favor upon you.
Just as he completed his favours upon your forefathers, Ibrahima is happy because jacobellis alarms father was his hack. And his hacks father was Ibrahim Alayhi, Salam. He says, My dear son, whatever you face in life, understand, it is a long way of completing his favor upon you,
as he completed that favor upon your forefathers before you.
So jacoba li Salam is equipping his child and not only equipping him, he's reminding him that never ever forget, I might lose you for 50 years. But never ever forget your identity. You My son will be a prophet, the son of a prophet, who was the son of a prophet who was the son of a prophet. Don't forget your identity. Today, we need to have talks about identity crisis isn't, isn't it. So here, we have Yaqoob equipping yourself wherever you go, even if you end up in a house of ship. Don't forget your values, because your values define who you are. And you are from a lineage of prophets, a lineage of tawheed this is what he tells his son, and he's telling his son, that whatever
difficulty you go through, no matter how difficult it is, understand it allows way of completing his favor upon you. When he teaches his son about Allah, and how many of us teach our young children about Allah. He teaches his son two qualities of Allah subhanho wa Taala. He says, My dear son, indeed you're up his alley. Moon Hakeem is knowledgeable about everything and wise about everything. You might not, we might not know what's happening, but Allah knows, we might not understand what's happening. But Allah is why is it he understands. So my DSM, when they throw you into the bottom of a well, and you think you are alone, know that Allah knows you there, he's Eileen. And when you
don't know why you there, know that Allah knows why you there, because he's Hakeem in Rebecca alleman Hakeem, when you get taken and sold as a slave, when you don't come from a lineage of slavery, and the standby DSN that when you think nobody knows, understand that Allah knows, because in our back alley, and when you don't know why, understand that Allah knows why. Because in Rebecca Hakeem, and when you get put into a home of schilke, and they are doing practices foreign to the practice that you have found in the home of your father, my dear son, if you think nobody knows you there, and if you think nobody knows, nobody, nobody can see what you do understand in the back
alley. Allah is knowledgeable of where you are, and Allah is knowledgeable of what you do. And your job is. He understands and he's wise as to why you are in that situation. That's my DSN. When you end up with a situation when the minister's wife locks you in a room and both the door shut and there is nobody who can see you, but herself and nobody knows that you're there besides you and her understand in Europe because Europe is knowledgeable of who you are, and Europe is wise as to why you there and that is why
When use of was locked into that room and was called by the minister's wife, what did he say?
Miranda law. The first words that he said is I seek refuge in Allah subhanho wa Taala Where did he learn this from his father Yaakov Alayhi Salam when, when he was an infant in the home of his father, his father wasn't saying, you know what I upbringing of children happens when I earn a million pounds.
He's young anyway. Now I'll teach him when he's old. Now,
do you see parenting in practice from Jaco Valley, he said, Oh, seven of albino Children of Adam.
May Allah subhanho wa Taala. grant us the understanding and amazing lesson by Allah. He teaches his child about Allah Subhana Allah Allah. So we need to understand that good parenting includes, let's summarize what iacobelli salam did, he commanded, then he explained his command, then he guided his child, because of the atmosphere that was created because of that command, right? You got to do the extra so he guides, there's a more than this. Then this toji right, he commands then he explains, then he guides and then he tells his child who has real enemies are and then he teaches his child about Allah subhanho wa Taala. Now listen to what happens what Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us 50
plus years later, 50 plus years later, when use Valley Salaam is gathered with his family in Egypt now because Yousuf now is the Minister of Finance in Egypt, he was a slave, and now he's the Minister of Finance. And this is how Allah subhanho wa Taala completed his favor. When he told him it is and you will be abducted. It's not bad. Right now it looks bad. But many many years down the line you will understand why, for us to become the minister in Egypt, he had to be abducted from his home and thrown into a well, that's what it started. That is how Allah completed his favor, upon the use of La his Salah. So Allah completes his favor and use of his gathered with his family. And this
time Yusuf is the Minister of Finance. There's no more poverty and use of SES work at the center be that my rap was good to me. When is a curmudgeon II mean, a surgeon when he removed me from prison would be criminal Beto, and he brought you out of the desert lands me back after a nessa shavon beanie will be in equity after shavon cause disunity between me and my brothers.
Where did he learned that lesson? that whatever happens is not your brother's is shavon. When did he land it? When he was an infant in the home of his father 50 plus years later, he's telling his father,
the fruits of the knowledge that his father taught. He's saying he didn't say after me and my brothers became your disunited, he said after shavon caused this unity between me and my brothers. And many, many if before when the brothers realized that this his use of color in the color and the use of you use because I am useful and this is my brother and allow us good upon us. And then the brothers say that we were from the sinners and we were from the ones who did wrong What does use of Allah he said I'm say to them immediately without hesitation letter three Braley camileo letter three Bradley Cooper yo yo hula, hula comm Warhammer rahimian, there is no blame upon you, my dear
brothers, no blame why my father told me a long time ago that it's not you. It's shavon. So there's no blame for you. And whatever you say with regards to sin, Allah will forgive you. And He is the Most Merciful of all those who show messy.
I think we should name our children useless.
And then teach them surah Yusuf. with greater VFR there, isn't it? We Allah subhanho wa Taala grant is the understanding I'm going to move on quickly before we end. And talk about the second point very quickly, because we only have a few minutes left. I think the handle as we said, If we can't take everything in its entirety, we shouldn't leave it in its entirety, right. But let's at least cover some points of everything that we wanted. So at least we have some form of cohesion
between the points that I suggested. So the first point is education. The first point is education. And as the self said, that the heart of knowledge is to act, that when you learn something, you put it into practice. And we need to include this in our homes or servants of Allah because Islam has nurtured us upon this concept. Very quickly. We know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam commanded us to teach our children a Salah from the age of seven to to bring them to the Salah, to start them on Salah at the age of seven. Make them people of action. They're not too young, seven years old, they're not too young. Make them start. And we know that the Sharia teaches us that as
soon as our children can. They have the abilities to fast encourage them to fast. They look too young. They shed he doesn't say fasting is good.
compulsory when they reach the age of puberty and Salah is compulsory when they reach the age of puberty. So at the age of puberty, make them read Salah. No. Again, this is this is how we take tarbiyah from the knowledge of the Sharia. One thing is to data collect, what is that, that they need to observe Salah when they reach the age of puberty, and one thing is to data collect, and that is that they share your essays at the age of several members introduce them to Salah know, now let's ponder over this instruction. What is the Sherry actually telling us? The Sharia is actually telling us to nurture our children to become entities of action as soon as they can act. That's what it's
telling us. Don't wait for the last minute, don't delay up bringing them to the last minute, start as soon as it needs starting. And don't delay making them people of action until the last minute. It's very important.
We look at Ibrahim alayhi salam, he booked the carrabba with Spain and he Salah.
Right. And when they finished he said, Rob Burnett, Oh Allah except from us, our production of a father and a son. Amazing production isn't it.
So this teaches us again, how we should make our children people have action today as parents we are becoming so this illusion with this concept of action that we end up becoming slaves to our children, without even realizing it.
Instead of making them get things that they need will end up getting it for them.
This is common, this is what I've seen in many homes. A child needs something he's capable of going to get it. But the birth mother or father will go to it for them Why? Let them do it themselves.
nurture them to do it.
Don't make them lazy. Don't make them lazy. Make them people of action. Make them people of action. Right? And it's our responsibility. If they not it's because we didn't do our job. Many a time, a parent will come with a child who might be able to protect all our children beyond drugs. And this parent will say my son, my son, my son, my son, my son, and I say no. When you pointing the finger, this three fingers pointing back edge.
Don't we? Yes, we need to cure it now. But prevention is better than cure, you need to now start analyzing What didn't you do that cause the situation to come about? Was your child, your son born a drug dealer? Was he he was born and you if you could speak he would say oh yeah, my instruction is to be a drug dealer.
No, but he has a villa. No, they are Allah removed us from the bellies of our mothers from the homes of our mothers, once we know once we knew not.
We didn't give them the necessary tools for them to understand what to take from nature and what to take from nature, what to take from society and what to take from what they learned. We didn't give them the skills and mightier brothers and sisters, my dear mothers and fathers. We are not living in the ideal environment. I think we can all agree to that.
So if we're not living in the ideal environment, it demands that we step up that's what it demands. We can't continue with the same paradigm that we that's been used for generations we have to step up.
We have to before we get left behind me Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us. There was a story in this window where when Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed Elijah and Allah He will write the famous surah in the 30th Jews for Allah subhanho wa Taala says that when Allah subhanho wa Taala his
help and assistance comes and the opening of Makkah comes and you see multitudes of people entering into Islam, for sub for sub Bay, Allah subhanho wa Taala commands us to to praise him and so on and so forth. When this surah was revealed
over in the hopper, the Allah and asked, What have you understood from from this, from this ayah he asked many of the companions present and they said we understand that Allah will give us an opening.
But then there was young even a bass or the Allahu Allah, young, even a bass who was a boy of action as well. I just told you make our kids do things very quickly. Even a basadi Allahu Allahu Allah. He used to carry the water for Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to observe ablution
was Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, No, no,
no, no, he let him do it. And when he did it, he grabbed him and said Allahumma de la libertad de la ilaha illallah wa Taala, opening for even a bus of La Salalah alayhi wa sallam said, Oh Allah give him the understanding of religion. We live with a wheel and give him knowledge of the revelation. And that is why when even our best say something in Tafseer true, it's a serious statement. We we listen to what he says.
So honorable Hopkins do young even our best. This is how we build confidence in our youth. We build confidence in our young, we don't say
too young. You know, when the elders are here, don't just keep quiet, right? Yes, they should have other bad manners and no one to talk etc. But we build confidence in them. He turns to young, even our best. And he says young, even our best, what did you understand from this, this, this surah and even our bass as I understand that the death of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
he understood something that the elders didn't understand they, because the society was nurturing these young to become the flag bearers of tomorrow, and we know that after Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam best became the main scholar of Makkah.
So Hammurabi, Allah Allah May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the understanding. Last but not least, my dear brothers and sisters
bihac of practicing is to fear Allah subhanho wa Taala Mo. And this whole discussion in education surrounding intrinsic education and extrinsic education, and this is something inshallah we can do on another setting. But we need to understand as well, this whole reward philosophy that we have with our children, we were very quick to reward them with the dunya.
And we need to really look after the other side and make sure that we let you them to the people of the people of the era, they should understand the agenda is the greater price than any other price, right? But unfortunately, our time has come to an end and inshallah I asked him not to bring me back here. So we can discuss this whole concept related to rewarding but I will say that the pious predecessors before us used to say that they have knowledge or they have of practice is to fear Allah subhanho wa Taala more, we need to nurture and almost servants of Allah, that when they practice what they've learned, they don't become complacent. They don't become arrogant. They become
people who fear Allah subhanho wa Taala more, it is of utmost incumbents that we do this to our to our children, to our youth, we make them humble people, for nobody will enter agenda if they have the smallest amount of arrogance in their hearts. We need to make them understand that the more you worship Allah, the more you fear Allah, we need to make them understand that the more that Allah doesn't need you to put your head on the ground for Him for His Majesty to increase and if you live in sin, it will not decrease the majesty of Allah subhanho wa Taala we need to build this in their hearts and souls. We need to make them people who worship Allah subhanho wa Taala more after they
worship Allah subhanho wa Taala more. Look at the total view of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to his young wife Aisha. He was young. He was young. This again goes it's pertinent and important to our point of discussion. young guy sharabi Allahu Allah tells Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, what do I say if I witness the night of power?
So masala Allahu alayhi wa sallam tells her see Allahumma in Nicaragua with him with
that our law indeed You'll have to forgive forgive us in Nicaragua. You are the one who forgives tibula for you love to forgive forgive us partners, right? partners. Now. Again, this is a data collection. We don't want to just know what happened. let's let's let's break this down into let's break this down and take 10 of you What can we learn from this? We need to understand when was the set this was said in the last This was said
or she was asking about a time when she would have fasted the day and spent the night in
the entire day worshipping Allah subhanho wa Taala. And when she sees Laila to Qatar Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells her to ask Allah to forgive her.
You've spent the day and night in worship animals ask Allah to forgive me. Yes. ask Allah to forgive you. Because the more you worship, the more you should feel him. You don't know if Allah subhanho wa Taala accepted your worship. You don't know if your worship was worthy of acceptance. So don't become complacent, rather become humble and rather push yourselves more. We Allah subhanho wa Taala God is the understanding. I leave you with the statement of Allah, Allah. Allah, Allah
says, He says in the law has nothing in it nothing. Allah subhanho wa Taala has hidden two things in two things. He's hidden two matters in two matters. What are these two matters? He says Allah subhanho wa Taala has hidden knowledge of his happiness in the actions that you do. When you worship Him, you don't know if Allah is happy with you.
So this should entice us to have a son with Allah. And then he says, And Allah has hidden knowledge of his Olia amongst
you don't know who amongst us is from the earlier of Allah. So this entices us to have a sense
With the with the with the servants of Allah subhanho wa Taala what amazing advice. It entices us to have a side with Allah because we don't know if Allah is happy with our worship, and then he says, And Allah has hidden knowledge of his earlier amongst you. So it entices us to be good with everyone amongst us because you just don't know that one day you might do good to one of the only of Allah subhanho wa Taala and they will make do it for you. And that will be a means of Allah opening the skies upon us in this world and they asked us to handle it will become the heat Subhana Allah morbihan the condition to Allah, Allah Allah and the stuff required to blue lake wa sallahu wa
Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh