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Riad Ouarzazi

Channel: Riad Ouarzazi

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© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Today in shallow Tyler tonight, we'll be talking still about success. But this is a different type of success. First of all, how many of you here are married? Those are married,

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married, married, married,

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those who are not married.

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Okay, it's about the same. Those are happy.

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All right, married, not married happy by.

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The success that we're going to talk about tonight is how to have a successful marriage.

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The ingredients of a successful marriage.

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I like the definition of Chateau de la calle, when he says, when he asked the question is marriage, a word, a sentence or a life sentence.

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But first, inshallah Hosanna before I talk about marriage, and before I talk about the success, or the ingredients of a successful marriage,

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I want to talk or set the stage and talk about some differences I'm going to pick on you, just to let you know, those who know me, they know me very well that I pick on people, so they sit in here.

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So I'm going to ask you questions.

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But I'm gonna, you know, first of all talk about the differences or the psychological differences between men and women,

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just so that we can understand why sometime your wife acts so weird.

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Or sometimes your husband acts like, you want to punch him in the face. Because there's these differences, the psychological differences, and I wish I had known this differences before I got married.

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I read a book and I mentioned this many times to some of my students. In fact, this book almost changed my life a little bit. Why men don't listen.

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And why women cannot read maps.

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It's an amazing book. It doesn't really talk about why women cannot read maps, but it talks about the psychological differences between men and women. When a woman Chacha when your wife says fine, does she mean fine?

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When she says when you say I'm going with my buddies, I'm going out with my friends and she says fine, is that really fine?

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Yes or no? Or no or yes or no she's not really fine with it.

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Here's this is how it goes. You see our core here is made of bunch of like the brain is made of boxes. Just imagine with me Your brain is made up of boxes, different boxes. So we have a box that talks about let's say money box.

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Husband box, you know wife box kids box, School Business no so different boxes.

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And this is the thing man's brain and woman's brain

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a man's brain you see these boxes and sisters please understand this would be so happy if you re understand this in fact we know you'd be happy this way you know you know you know why your husband is sometimes acting weird is because these boxes sisters are not interconnected.

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Men's boxes breads are not interconnected. Because if I want to talk about money, I pulled the box that talks about money I talk about my another please back. I cannot talk about money and kids at the same time. I don't do that. I can't as a man we don't do that.

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We women Mashallah pelicula for women, the boxes that brings are all like

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she just

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she can

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cook

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and she listens to you and you know, we're talking on the phone at the same time and she's watching TV and she's watching and looking after the kids and multitasking. This is how Allah subhanho wa Taala created them

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they can do so many things at the same time whereas man they don't but here's the beauty here's the gold the gold is this sisters you better know this. There is a very special box in every man's brain

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every man's got this very very beloved box.

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This box is called the empty box.

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It is the most favorable box in every man Why is he is this because sometimes we like to be so blind like we like to go and like sometimes we're flipping you know do it a bit with remote control right you know flipping channels and then we just do it like

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like that.

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Then she's talking to you and then you do.

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Your husband is in his empty box. Leave him alone.

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He's enjoying himself. Sometimes you see two men going fishing. I don't see women go and fishing. men go and fishing. They may go fishing for 234 hours without speaking a word. Have you noticed? Have you seen that before? That? It's not that because because if a woman was to see that they will shoot myself. These guys are having problem. They're fighting. There's a problem. But no, they're actually they're loving it. They're just they throw the net and out into the empty box.

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They are loving it leaves them alone

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is the system who in fact, she waits enter her husband because she you know, when he gets her, drives her bananas. She waits until he's like shaving. I'm not saying go shave. And then and then she goes to talk to him.

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And then he cuts himself because he cannot shave and talk to her at the same time and listen to he cannot do too many things at the same time. He has to concentrate on what he does.

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Women they tend to mature a lot faster than men don't they?

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Mashallah, symbolically you see a 16 year old girl, Allahu Akbar. She's acting like a princess. The way she talks the way she walks, isn't it? Right? And you see a 16 year old boy doing something like this man.

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playing Xbox

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isn't it? I mean, maturity and this is a fact this is how Allah subhana wa tada does. We're different. We're not like men are better than women or women are better than men. We're just different. Which is different and we need to understand this is why they say men from Mars and women from Venus. Can I think we're just different in many ways.

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Allah subhanho wa tada

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he says in the end insalata home is number 21. By the

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way, I mean I T and Haleakala come in and fusi comm as

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well i mean i t and

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unfussy calm as well as letus kuno Ilaha, wa Jalla, been in a coma.

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Woman at Allah says amongst his signs, amongst this, as you know, in Arabic is is signs and amongst these signs is that he had created amongst your mates, your spouse's your wives, mates, women, it is that he had created amongst your mates so that you may dwell in tranquility was yada, yada and then he has put love and mercy between you.

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between you, Allah subhana wa tada says, you know, in the Java, Java book, Java Quran give me give me that.

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Must have

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just English. It's all and still.

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Right? You see, this is what he said in English. Can I throw it? Can I can I just throw it? Can I step on it? Can I just go there and sit down and I cannot do it. Why? Because it's an IT HAS A I mean, if Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala says your wife, your spouse's, I mean it love

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the way you respect the Quran. This is the way you should respect your spouse as Allah subhanho wa Taala says and

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what I mean IoT and holographic human and physical as well is that they are created amongst you you meet your spouse's so that you may do it in tranquility was you had been a commodity and he has put amongst you love and mercy.

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Allah subhana wa tada uses different names in the Quran to describe

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the spouses, beautiful names in the plan. Sometimes the uses

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are yet sometimes the users

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ultimately best. The best garments they are garments on to you only best, the best alone. They are garments onto you Libous you know what it is these levers that you're wearing today, you know, what do you wear, you know what you were clothes, what do you put clothes on to cover your to cover your hour to protect your hour, anything else to embellish yourself. Likewise, we our husbands and wives have garments on to one another way they protect one another, they protect the privacy of one another and they embellish one another. This one uses this beautiful term Lee bass garments. He says he said

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beautiful name, how

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to how

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to tilt onto you have to have like the farmer when he goes in he you know in the

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That he works in the field, Nisa. Allah says your women are held on to you just like a thief onto you.

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The Prophet Muhammad Allah salatu salam says in had it reported by Sasha Muslim,

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those who are not married, I really feel so sorry for you because this is a beautiful edit. In fact, maybe we've been by the time we're done,

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you're gonna go and hook yourself up.

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Or we can hook you up to

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listen to what the prophet Mohammed ISIS who says this is a Muslim

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was the one I had the compassion.

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He says within your intimacy is

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not just that you sit you with your spouse and whatnot, but the fact that the fact that you're with your spouse, and being intimate with your spouse isn't a bad thing. Just like you just like you pray

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just like you do. You're fasting. being intimate with one spouse is a bad habit. They said, yeah. So how can it be amazing, he's enjoying himself. And then the fact that he's enjoying himself is it's been

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written in his book of this as a better and then the Prophet said, Yes, yes. If he was to do it in Harlem, if he was to do it in Harlem, who the beginning the sin the Sahaba? They said yes. And then the Prophet said, likewise, likewise, if he was to do it in Holland, he will be getting good deeds.

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Just like this.

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That's who's gonna be my wife tonight.

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Just I mean, you can never be my wife, but I'm gonna pick on you. It is. Can you be my wife?

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Just just, it's all right.

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I'm going to show you how it is better. How to do it better with your spouse.

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So

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you just got married? This is how it turns to a bar. It's all right by the side, man.

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That's funny.

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You just got married.

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And you come to see your spouse for the first time. Here's the sooner

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you're married. Right? Okay, so this is very good, actually.

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So for the very first time, you know, you just saw your wife and she's there. So I've come to see like you my wife, right? And then you're, you're all you know, blushing.

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And then and then here's the Sunnah. Give me some water. Give me some.

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So this is what the Prophet did very first thing, very first thing you go. And then you put your hand this is this one and then it becomes a bird on the forehead, and the newness of the prophet Isaiah Selim allamani Sokka Hello, how can I become a Shall we? Shall we? Well, I asked you for her good. And I seek refuge in You from her evil. This is a hadith it's in the book. It's in Bukhari, it's also in the book of the fortress of the Muslim so you make that right. And then she's all blushing and smiling and everything and then you go get her some cup of milk like a glass of milk and then you take the class of maker then you say the smell and then you drink

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and then you say Bismillah

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and then you take a data piece of data you eat like half and they say

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you can do that sooner. So now I'm telling you this is sooner you don't want it to you

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don't care

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is that whatever they want, isn't it? I'm sorry this is so now it's up to you don't like it. It's your business until it is the problem.

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So you're in and then what do you do after that?

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You go out together

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right so you pray behind me and the preacher the car together don't have to decide the Baccarat you don't have to decide on a Milan, you just

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know something.

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And then you're done. And then you come back right. And you try to break the ice. My talk. This is all a bad everything. Now the murder occurred right, you know from the right side. They're all writing it as you know, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate, passionate. And then you just talk

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and you said Mr. Comey go make the decision to preppy me live together in Charlottetown. It's a bad, right.

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This is why the profit arm says session with slim wafi goodbye.

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has an even in the fact that you are intimate with your spouse. It's been written to you as a husband. So what are some of the ingredients of a successful marriage Ladies and gentlemen,

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I'd like you to maybe take some notes. If you don't want to take notes, then make sure you buy the DVDs and shallow data because there's so many points. So I'm going to give you points, I don't expect you to remember all of them, but at least do get some you know, the buy the DVD and then try to learn from this, these pointers and shallow data on how to improve your life with your spouses. I know I have given this so many times before but that was like first edition second edition today is the 10th edition, the latest and greatest in all for you in Charlottetown. First and foremost the very, you know,

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first pointers

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on how to increase love amongst your spouses. And a very and I love this very first point is patience. Patience is required.

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Patience is number one, you need patience, especially in the first year of marriage. Why in the first year of marriage, because this is when you get to know one another. You get to know one another you know the differences because before church, he was it was you and her talking on the phone and you sleeping on the phone when talking to her and to to the clock in the morning.

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Right? You just talking on the phone, but now you live in with her. Right? You're like the toilet paper up, she likes it.

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You know, you're not gonna divorce her for that.

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You get to know one another. You need patience, especially in the first year of marriage.

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I share this story with some of my students. And I'm gonna share it with you as well. Some of you may have heard this.

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And this has happened to me when I was in Dubai. Some craziness. This lady Myskina she came to her dad with all marks all over her body. And she says Dad, this guy that I'm married to is an animal

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is an animal. Every time we have a conflict he comes on he bites me.

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He bites his wife. So we got to see this guy. What's wrong with you, man?

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He says Allah has told me to bite her I'm biting her.

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Say please tell me tell me I want to bite my wife to

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tell me what it is.

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Show me. Show me. No patience. He just no one ever bite her. So show me and tell me what it is. He says yes Allah subhana wa says

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phalguna

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and those that you feel rebellion from bytom oh hoonah oh,

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Allah did not say

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Allah never said oh hoonah Allah says hey buena. He says Allah be so beautiful. what actually makes a big difference.

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In Arabic means bite. Eight ohana means give them a donation. Talk to them. The guy Miss read it. He read. So every time there's a problem with his wife, let me let me do some

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patience. Patience is extremely important. Like I said, for the successful successful marriage.

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Don't be stubborn. If you want your marriage should be successful. stubbornness kills marriage.

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Yeah, showing who was the man showing was the woman in all shape and is coming and whispering and whatnot. It just will kill your marriage. Do not be stubborn. If you want your marriage to succeed, in fact, the latest I've heard

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even so this he came up and give a hot buck when he heard this news in Makkah during tawaf a guy divorce his wife.

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You know how

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they were doing tawaf and he says we did five turns five circuits. She says now that we only did four

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said no, we did five. We did four. I told you I did five. I counted them did it for five before you thought

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you divorced.

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Just because five four. Yes, yes. No. Okay, we need seven. It's okay. Seven, just give you the husband.

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And she has so this one he heard this he gave it changed the fight the hotbar. He talked about this relationship between husbands and wives. And I was so alarmed when I heard about the divorce rate in the UK. It's so scary.

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It's so scary with sisters with his job not even his apnea, carbon brothers with lock made and stuff. But you know the kids

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and then they wind up being divorced.

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I'm trying to study these cases. And just to understand, why is it happening? I know it's happening in the UK, I mean in Canada and the US and other countries. But it's so scary here in UK for some reason, I don't know why

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not be stubborn. stubbornness will kill your marriage.

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Understand your spouse's love languages. There is an amazing book, an amazing book called The five languages anybody heard or read this book, The five languages of love. And very few people write five languages of love. It's an amazing book, go and read it. It talks about the love language of your spouse, we all have different languages. These five languages are words of affirmation or just words of affirmation. Maybe you have to understand your spouse's love language. Maybe your spouse is one of those that likes words of affirmation like support like whenever he or she does something she likes to hear Zac Lohan Mashallah You look great today. Not words of affirmation.

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We have a problem we husbands, you know, and I admit and I admit, saying that words you know that word

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upside up, say Mahabharata, Mahabharata Calcutta

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something like that.

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I love coming out.

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We men have this problem, we don't say all right, I love

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you.

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I love you. We don't have some you know, maybe your spouse is one of those that likes this you know, words of affirmation.

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Beautiful words, kind words. And we'll talk about that as well. And shallow, Tada. Quality of time is another love language quality of time is maybe your spouse is one of those that just like and value the time that you spent with him or her. She does not want in all the money that you give her. She doesn't want all the flowers and whatnot. What she wants is actually maybe your time.

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She does not vary other things that you've done for her. Maybe she only thinks about or he only thinks about how much time you've spent with me. Maybe this is how he speaks or how she speaks This is something that you need to understand so that you can maybe touch on those or

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receiving gifts is another love language.

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Maybe your spouse is one of those that just value what you give him or her

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is how he knows that you love him by how much you give him well by how much you give her when she says I want to go shopping and if you say no she's oh you don't love me.

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And she does like this in a Pakistani way.

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You don't love me

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I love you

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Well, I want to go shopping no way do this.

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I told you I'm half Pakistani didn't tell you that. I'm half Pakistan.

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Half Arab in half Pakistan.

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Physical touches. physical touch is very, very important. I will talk about it as what is shallow to Allah with one of the ingredients. Maybe your spouse is one of those that like to be touched.

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That like to be you know, terrorist and whatnot. So try to find out the love language of your spouse. It will help increase love amongst you between you and your spouse inshallah Tada, wall ingredients, another ingredient that will help you in sha Allah who tada increased love amongst you is warm greetings. When you come as the Prophet as I said, whenever he used to come home, he would say Salaam Aleykum Selam Aleykum. Cave haidakhan. Right. Something like that. How are you scour in Somali scholar? I think I think it's called.

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Cave mahalo calm. How are you?

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And then it is very nice. If you can couple this Santa Monica with some hugs and touches.

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Because they said the experts not me. Experts say for a woman to feel secure. She has to be touched 33 times a day.

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I didn't say that.

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They said 33 times and don't do like I did with my wife. I said come home honey 123456. And

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you're done for the day. It does not work like that.

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I'll tell you how it works. But the buena You're my second wife.

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Just gonna show you and this I may get fired from a negative by showing you this by the way, but I don't care.

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Because you need to learn how to touch your spouse's

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Okay, husbands, this is how you're gonna touch your spouse and

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we will

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say this is just the first day so you know.

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So, let's say you're at work your work right? You come back from work.

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She's cooking.

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Cuckoo Cuckoo.

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So you come from work. You come from work, watch, watch, watch. You come from work. It's where you touch.

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She's cooking. She's cooking, cooking. And that Assalamualaikum honey, right here. A cinematic Come on, use. Use this right?

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on you touch here, right between the ears. Right? And here. Right? Right, right. We don't feel nothing. But this is something so you just don't try it. Right? Number one, number two, keep on cooking. Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

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So you come from work, and then you come in, you're tired, Solomonic. Come on. Yo, are you? Right here? Right, right.

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Right here.

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Don't Don't Look, don't say excuse me. I mean, just like, how are you?

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Good day.

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Something just like that.

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Is that

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hugs, touches

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coupled with Southern greeting in a warm greetings assalamu alikum. And perhaps it's something really nice.

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Because I heard this from people coming as as a marriage officer wanting to divorce not only knew what they were fighting, why? Because the husband comes home. And then he said mid come, right. And the wife she didn't hear so them and then she didn't reply nor set them and then he goes on they start a fight. I said to them, he didn't reply to them and then she says no, I didn't hear you. This is why you heard me but you didn't want to reply to them and back and forth. And then they get into a fight for something so trivial. So what happens is

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either send them to smear through all of the sources when you say salon, let people hear you don't just come home say

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well, he didn't hear but say a Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Right. That's your Hebrew inshallah. Tada. So remember, you know greetings and couple those routines with what with touches and hugs.

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Here's another ingredient ladies and gentlemen. Brothers. You need to listen to this and sisters please please please don't do that. never compare your spouse to somebody else.

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Don't marry her children say oh my mother cooks like this. My mother does this. My mother is always this my mother I did not marry your father. I marry you

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and then oh my my my you know and then she goes on maybe she's complaining to her brother to her brother or something. You know why you do this look Mashallah your brother the way he treats his wife your brother the way he you know he talks to his wife and why look at your friend the way he does this. What message are you sending to your husband right there

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you're not pleased with him. You're looking at his brother you're looking at his friend but what

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but you're maybe not valuing what you have. So this is the thing ladies and gentlemen brothers and sisters and never compare each other to one another. Make sure that you value what you have Allah subhana wa tada when he says in the Quran

00:28:56--> 00:29:06

good man or for good women. What have you seen as an evil women are for evil men are evil men or for evil women. So inshallah hotel attract to value what you have. And what you have is a lot.

00:29:08--> 00:29:16

Another ingredient that will ensure Allahu taala increased love amongst you is remember this is for the brothers. Remember, there's jealousy.

00:29:17--> 00:29:33

It's It's normal. This is our lives are created and he created them being like that. SubhanAllah I used to be jealous. It's all right. It's called protective jealousy. The Prophet went out at night, one night, he just went out. She talked of what she tell them. It's mine. Like, Where is he going?

00:29:34--> 00:29:41

Where is he going? He's not supposed to go and visit her. He's talking about No, she's talking about the other wife. And then she followed him.

00:29:42--> 00:29:59

And then in the middle of the night in the dark, and then he's walking. And then he felt something behind him. Right? So he's talking and where did he go? He went to the graveyard. He went to the graveyard. So as I she saw the Prophet go into the graveyard. She came out and she

00:30:00--> 00:30:12

But the prophet Elisa said and followed her back. And then she was wearing something in the dark and that she was witnessed by a black sheep. No, he couldn't really. But he knew it was her. So and then as he was speeding up, she started rushing to.

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And he was rushing over this was rushed into.

00:30:16--> 00:30:18

And then she went home. And then what did she do?

00:30:21--> 00:30:23

She went home and then she covered herself.

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And then, just like I'm sleeping, I didn't follow you.

00:30:29--> 00:30:31

He tried to follow the law. You're trying to flee?

00:30:32--> 00:30:34

And then the promises Ayesha?

00:30:36--> 00:30:37

What were you

00:30:40--> 00:30:43

uttarkashi tonic? Did your shaitan come to you again.

00:30:45--> 00:30:49

Did you shaitan come to you again. Yeah, I need the whispers of the shaitan she got

00:30:50--> 00:30:56

all the love and how about just like every woman and so you have to understand the fact that you know, the

00:30:57--> 00:31:00

they get jealous. So it's alright. Be Cool.

00:31:03--> 00:31:19

One True story that happened. You know a man and brothers please be careful with this. This some some guys went in on the they were invited for dinner. And then other thing Oh, no. When they left after dinner, they started making dinner for the brother. And it was this actually his wife who cooked but they started making the effort the brothers

00:31:23--> 00:31:38

and the sisters. She is listening. The wife is listening. She's the one who cooked but then making the app for him for the husband. May Allah bless you with with holy. You know this woman from Shanna. May Allah bless you with holding a man loveless.

00:31:39--> 00:31:41

And then months later, they came back again for dinner.

00:31:48--> 00:31:49

So they were waiting for dinner.

00:31:51--> 00:31:52

And they kept on waiting for dinner.

00:31:56--> 00:32:02

Dinner, then she sent them some dates and water. So they ate this and what are they waiting, waiting where the dinner

00:32:04--> 00:32:05

is cooking it

00:32:07--> 00:32:07

this way.

00:32:10--> 00:32:15

When you go and your mother invites you don't make the offer in front of her name, her name, her name, and

00:32:17--> 00:32:17

you got to

00:32:22--> 00:32:24

pray together another ingredient.

00:32:26--> 00:32:27

pray together,

00:32:28--> 00:32:29

play together.

00:32:31--> 00:32:35

pray together and play together. And these are the profits our system used to do.

00:32:37--> 00:32:49

Wouldn't you be happy when you wake up your husband or your wife? For pmln? say, Honey, come on, let's go. This is a lot of stuff coming down. This is the best time to make data loss in our data. You know, let's go into some no prey to the cat together.

00:32:50--> 00:33:05

The profit ID system says this is headed Ladies and gentlemen, please, please please, please. The Prophet said Allah, Allah Almighty, He smiles and don't visualize how he smiles. He smiles in the way that businesses measure see a lot

00:33:07--> 00:33:29

from a man a spouse who wakes his spouse up or her spouse up wife who wakes her husband up in the middle of the night. And she tells him Wake up, wake up. Let's go pray together and the husband is not waking up. So she takes some water and then she takes some you know like one like this, as you said splashes on come on Habibi, come and marry john or Mary john. Come in.

00:33:31--> 00:33:47

And then the husband is all Yeah, this is beautiful. And then she's Allah subhanho wa Taala smiles in this act when he says this. He smiles at it in a way that befits His Majesty This is reported by Buhari I didn't stop me it's Buhari and the Prophet our system said so.

00:33:49--> 00:33:50

pray together

00:33:51--> 00:33:52

and play together.

00:33:53--> 00:33:56

What's wrong with with you

00:33:57--> 00:33:59

riding with your wife, is there a problem with that?

00:34:01--> 00:34:02

Is there problem?

00:34:03--> 00:34:07

Is there a problem you know jogging with your wife playing together? Is there a problem you know doing pillow fights with your wife?

00:34:09--> 00:34:13

Is there a problem with that you got a problem with that doing pillow Off with you I feel

00:34:14--> 00:34:41

the properties to do that. The Prophet used to do that. I swear by Allah that the properties to do that. No pillow fights from the same vessel. They're taking a bath. And then comes the prophet and it said that ISIS is first somewhat on the prophet and that the permit useless bricks and mortar and then they plan on water pump, pump, pump pump, under the power of our solar law and Arusha playing together. Run it together, racing together.

00:34:42--> 00:34:59

play together and pray together. You know if you want insha Allah who tada to have a successful successful marriage breakdown routine. This is very important. Guys. Break the routine ingredient

00:35:00--> 00:35:05

Break through routine the same thing always and always and always over and over again. You come home

00:35:07--> 00:35:12

dinner's ready. Dinner's ready. You eat dinner and fine the kids went to school yes they went to school

00:35:13--> 00:35:17

bills to pay your bills to pay everything fine within fight. Let's go sleep let's go sleep.

00:35:20--> 00:35:22

what's so fun about this life men

00:35:24--> 00:35:40

sisters breakdown routine. And I said this and I'm gonna say it again. I said it in some of my seminars. And I'm not shy to say it again. Some of you might say I don't care, sisters. Blick that true chintu and go to some place called Victoria secrets

00:35:43--> 00:35:48

and dress up for your husbands because I don't want your husband

00:35:51--> 00:35:53

I don't want your husband's to come to me says Shall

00:35:54--> 00:35:59

I go outside I say I see naked women. I go home I say I buy at home.

00:36:00--> 00:36:07

I know what your husband to come to me complaining about your wife thank you very much you because you were outside and he comes home

00:36:09--> 00:36:09

and you smell

00:36:13--> 00:36:21

good cooking all day. And he wants to see something beautiful and then he comes Somali Kumar comes to them. Okay, honey

00:36:23--> 00:36:24

man, it's not fun.

00:36:26--> 00:36:29

I'm serious. If you go to Saudi Arabia by the way

00:36:30--> 00:36:33

they've got the best legendaries in the world.

00:36:35--> 00:36:39

And all these customers if you go on them all the machinery

00:36:40--> 00:36:48

they go on they shop for the wives handle and pay even Mubarak and fee will lights Helen for the husbands

00:36:50--> 00:36:53

jirsa for your husbands and brothers dress up for your wives to man.

00:36:55--> 00:37:03

I went to see his brother one time and he was you know this man is wearing his his his wedding. I love Pakistan. So he's he's wearing his shirt away.

00:37:06--> 00:37:08

And then the sleeveless thinking the head is coming.

00:37:10--> 00:37:11

Yeah,

00:37:12--> 00:37:14

it's coming everywhere. Is there

00:37:18--> 00:37:20

somebody who says no nobody just my wife just my way

00:37:25--> 00:37:25

everywhere.

00:37:34--> 00:37:37

Here's the evidence. Here's the evidence

00:37:38--> 00:37:55

in a bus he was about to go and meet his wife. So he took some like brushing instead of like combing his hair. And then they came to me city bus Wallah who we're not going to leave here today give us evidence from the end that you have to look beautiful for your wife. He says I have the evidence from

00:37:57--> 00:37:58

I have the evidence from

00:38:00--> 00:38:01

what Mr. Lady

00:38:03--> 00:38:15

and women have the same right as that of men. She likes to see me beautiful I like to serve right when I come home I'd like to see beautiful she likes to see me beautiful too. So this is from the Quran she's got the same right as me

00:38:16--> 00:38:21

so this is why I'm dressing up for my wife Blac Chyna my brothers and sisters

00:38:23--> 00:38:23

Am I

00:38:25--> 00:38:26

how much time

00:38:35--> 00:38:37

surprise each other quickly shallow tada

00:38:38--> 00:38:39

surprised each other

00:38:41--> 00:38:42

suppress each other like watch

00:38:45--> 00:38:56

an example I mean you guys could think of anything. You driving back home and then you give it a call. Yeah honey. Yes. backup your bags. backup. What did I do? Why are you sending me home? No, no, no.

00:38:57--> 00:39:03

Back up your bags. I've got two tickets trip formula together.

00:39:06--> 00:39:15

Surprise each other. Love notes, stickers and stuff like that, you know try to surprise each other just so that you can spice up your life mobiles and sisters

00:39:17--> 00:39:33

I heard this beautiful scene and I'm gonna say it and shout out data and I'm like, Oh, my wife I I want to change the alphabet. Why do you want to change the alphabet? Because I don't like the order of the of the of the words in the alphabet. I like to put you and I together.

00:39:40--> 00:39:49

Use Beautiful Names to call each other The sooner from the Prophet I'll just sit and call each other You and I come close together like you and I look at it What did he say What did he say?

00:39:51--> 00:39:58

You are together. I want to make the eye close to you know you close to i or i close to you. You understand that?

00:40:05--> 00:40:25

Use Beautiful Names call each other with Beautiful Names. If he likes to be called the boss call him Superman, whatever. If she likes to be called honey call her honey call her anything she likes on Flan omarama you know this is the son of the Prophet I just said that. No, yo, don't call him Yo, or call her Yo man. I know some husbands will call their wives Hey man.

00:40:28--> 00:40:30

You live you may be married the wrong men.

00:40:33--> 00:40:48

kind words quickly shallow tala kind words. From time to time, Nan sadaqa. As the Prophet alayhi wa sallam, there was this Arabic woman whose husband is a farmer. And then he he loved his donkey. He loved his donkey so much when he came in home he was

00:40:50--> 00:40:59

you know, very sad. And then the high woman Oh, honey, honey, what's wrong? My donkey died. Oh, honey, I'm sorry, but you better than 100 donkeys.

00:41:00--> 00:41:01

You don't get it guys.

00:41:03--> 00:41:17

This is the Arabic joke, man, you know, don't get it. Say something good or Be quiet. That's what I'm trying to say. kind words sadaqa charity, you know, say something nice to your spouse inshallah Tada, because this is sadaqa. As the Prophet Allah says to him, says,

00:41:18--> 00:41:56

pay attention to her mood. This is to your spouse smoothly and to your wife's mood. Pay attention to her mood, especially during her menses, or maybe if she's pregnant, this is very also important. And you will understand sometimes, you know, they act, you know, interesting, they may be just weird, but maybe she's going through their menses and, and she's coming asking you Do you still love me? I just told you that yesterday, but do you really still love me? What if Why don't you tell me no more. I just I just so what do I do now? You know, here's the trick. What I did was I saved myself saying I love you. And every time she comes, you see love me here this time, and I play play. And

00:41:56--> 00:41:58

it's just interesting. I love you. I

00:42:01--> 00:42:01

just mean

00:42:03--> 00:42:25

pay attention to their mood, especially during the period or during the pregnancy, thank each other, spend time out with each other. These are all amazing pointers that will inshallah Tada. Increased love amongst you spend time out together with your with your spouse, and my brothers and sisters. I'm going to just say a couple more things. Give your husband's husband's give your Weinstein out.

00:42:27--> 00:42:29

Very important, because you're the man.

00:42:30--> 00:42:47

You're the man give her timeout. What do you mean timeout? One day you take care of the kids. And then you just Where's Mom? Mom? She's timeout. What do you mean timeout, she needs time to recharge. She needs time by herself. In fact, some of you may know, I set my wife out for one month.

00:42:49--> 00:42:50

I want to get when I think about

00:42:51--> 00:43:01

I sent her out to her family back in Morocco for one month. And I'm taking care of my kids by myself. Oh, so you may be saying where are your kids?

00:43:02--> 00:43:03

That in Canada.

00:43:10--> 00:43:12

I just told them I'm going to buy pizza or it'd be right back.

00:43:16--> 00:43:38

Sometimes you need to give time for your wife Really? So I'm serious. Yes, I did send her out for a month why she needs to recharge. And I'm taking care of the kids do that in Charlotte. I mean bang. I'm just saying give your wife a timeout. And last but not least Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters contemplate the CETA of the Prophet Mohammed. So Sarah, go and read books about the seal of the Prophet SSM and see how the Prophet used to treat his wife.

00:43:39--> 00:44:12

Isha how easy to treat you know Khadija and whatnot. He was so romantic. It sort of said, the prophet, our Prophet. He was a very romantic man Elisa to sit and he would bring a piece of meat he will have a bite, and then he will give Ayesha Ayesha please have a bite. He would bring a cup of water he would drink from it. And then he will give Ayesha Please drink and then she would drink from exactly the same spot or she would drink and then he will take the cup and then he will turn it exactly from the same spot. She drank and he would drink from it. It still has to send he would play with her. He would hug her. In fact, the province used to love doing something amazing. He would go

00:44:12--> 00:44:15

on her lap and she would play with his hair.

00:44:16--> 00:44:26

Isn't that beautiful? He would go on her lap and she would play with his and you are in fact the perfect girl to send us the way he died. He died on the laps of Ayesha

00:44:29--> 00:44:43

on her laps, and she was playing with his urine and she was playing and he was sweating he had and she had a piece of cloth and she used to you know wipe the sweat off of the head the forehead of the Prophet it says to them, hugging him hugging her contemplate the seed of the Prophet arias of Sudan.

00:44:45--> 00:44:59

Hopefully insha Allah who Tana This will help us all together to have a very successful marriage in sha Allah to Allah. May Allah subhanaw taala bless all of you. Bless your spouses, bless your children, this your husbands and this your wives.

00:45:00--> 00:45:15

Brothers and sisters with this don't just go today and say oh it was nice. Hey, thank you very much and I would like you all to walk the talk. I know maybe after this, all the flower shops will be so packed up. We don't want just to give her flowers say honey, it was on sale. I thought about you today.

00:45:17--> 00:45:20

I'll do that. Try to do something for your spouse tonight in Sharla to

00:45:21--> 00:45:27

try to do something for your spouse tonight. Maybe cook for her or for him or maybe you know any

00:45:29--> 00:45:31

time out. May Allah Subhana

00:45:32--> 00:45:33

Allah hit

00:45:34--> 00:45:35

him cinematical.