Unscripted Duas – MyHajjStory

The purpose of the series is not to make people feel worse for missing out, it's to connect us inshallah, to some of the experiences that we have over there. And then also, you know, help us sort of think about these things in our own daily lives. And of course, for those that intended to do how Jamil was accepted from you fully, and May Allah subhanaw taala facilitate Hajj for everyone who intends it in the near future alone, and accepted Hajj alone, I mean,

so I call it a castle, who estimated the Ministry

of Land I mean, Salatu was Salam on absolutely killing my marine. So I had to think long and hard about what my head story would be.

Because at Hamdulillah, I've had the opportunity to go so many times, and I've had the blessing of having so many things happen every year, that make Hajj so special. Last year, I had actually just gotten off the plane went straight to the Muslim, they gave me the sculpt book called becoming a friend of Allah, which was about the Shahada, and their families from Christ Church, who were at Hajj this particular past year, and how powerful that was. But I want to go back to, you know, my first hedge where,

you know, it's 2006,

it was the year after you had fires break out. And so you had some some, you know, serious casualties that year, in 2005 2006, as I went to hedge, I was going with just the sense of everything being so perfect. So let me just explain it to you, I am at that time about to get married.

You know, and this is my first hedge, I feel a great like, I'm in a good place in life. You know, this was after Hurricane Katrina had passed about a year after Katrina. So I'm kind of finding myself there.

You know, in New Orleans, and you know, trajectories being defined. So things just seem somehow so settled. And 2006, I got a hedge, like, most first time her judge, I get super sick, in Mina.

And, you know, felt like I was gonna die a few times, but the feeling of hedge that year was optimism, hope, it was just extremely beautiful. And I felt a deep connection to a lot that year. But it was it was very much so about the ritual, right, making sure I'm getting hydrated, making sure I'm saying the right things. And the drugs are hopeful, optimistic. Everything seems to be great. I get back from Hajj after 2006 I, I did my ketchup Kitab or I did mine, meaning I officially at least signed the papers, I got married. But it was really an engagement period. The wedding was supposed to be shortly after.

It was it was going to be the beginning of the next year. And so had a lot you know, as I just did had on top of the world just got married, technically speaking, right, Dominica, preparing for the wedding.

You know, then last panel, tested me with a great test tested our family with a great test my mother, may Allah have mercy on her suddenly passed away. And I'm in this position now where I don't know what's going to happen next, right? Suddenly, life is not so great anymore. It doesn't you know, the happiness has kind of been taken away the excitement of the wedding. Everything is in shambles once again. And so the second hedge comes around, how does the second hedge come around, I decided at that point that I wanted to go forth and do hedge again, but the time was extremely short. So I had to jump on with an agency Now there were agencies that were inviting me to come on

as a new mom, I didn't want to go as new mom, I wanted to go and do Hajj on behalf of my mother, Allah have mercy on her who had just passed away. And she was not able to do Hajj in her own life because of her because of her health issues. And so I wanted to go to Hajj for her and I wanted to, you know, have sort of my alone time be able to do it, but you know, without without having the pressure of being a member of a group.

So last time, I facilitated Hamdulillah, that I was able to go to Hajj in 2007 again,

and it was you know, I would get back from Hajj just a week before my wedding actually.

You know,

and so while I was there at hedge 2007 it was a completely different feeling.

You know, I was pulled back and in that hedge, I was in a completely different mindset than I was the year before. Right? And the dots were different the the nature of how raw the drops were, it was different the feeling of vulnerability.

was different, the feeling of sadness was different, right? All of these different things that happens to where this hedge

was so different from the previous hedge was almost like it was two separate rituals. And, you know, it taught me a valuable lesson amongst the many lessons. So by the way, I'll just say this just to throw in something that I almost didn't make it back in time for my wedding because my password got lost. I was sitting in the middle of Sophos is another hedge lesson. By the way, I was sitting in the middle of Sophos for almost two full days. And the guy that was, you know, trying to find my passport, who was holding me there, could not get in touch with my hedge agency leader, I'm not gonna shout out which hedge agency I was with that year. But you know, I was kind of hanging out

with him for almost two whole days, literally slept on the couch in the motorless. office, I was like, I gotta get back to my wedding. But I was at that point. So just submitted to whatever is going to happen is going to happen. And some handler, he told me as I was going home, because we got to know each other, he told me that he'd never done Hajj before. And so he he said that he's making the intention to go this next year because he was he was touched by our experience, our conversation about hedging, a lot of us don't realize sometimes that those that live in the immediate area of the bottom, either they work hedge season, or that, you know, they have to open their shops or their

employees at those shops. But the point is, is that a lot of those people that live around the home have actually never gotten to do hedge. So I prayed that he was able to actually do hedge, I mean, so I got home, and just just literally right in time for my wedding, I had the hedge, coffin, my wedding and everything.

But the main lesson, the main takeaway, that that that I would like to impart with that is this idea that the best doors are the ones that are unscripted, the ones that are raw, the ones when you're in a deep moment of sadness and vulnerability. And a lot of times when we're making the duets, that are about relieving hardship, and we might not feel like we're in great hardship. You know, we're very mechanical with those neurons. A lot of times with our rituals, we can become very mechanical, but the thing is, is that when those rituals are there, when that Salah is there, and when you're having a meaningful, you know, conversation with a loss of hundreds out of five times a day, and then

hopefully building on that and having a, you know, a portion of your night, every night, or at least as many nights as you can have the week where you just have a short period of PM, or you're praying, the best, your eyes are going to be the ones that are completely unscripted. The rituals are there to create the environment of a conversation between you and a loss of hundreds of course, they're there first and foremost, because Allah commands us to worship Him. And so we do them first and foremost out of responding to his command. But the environment that's created when you are regularly going back to a loss penalty is such that it catches you in an extraordinary time. And you're able

to use what has already been created of a relationship or already been started of a relationship between you and Allah subhanaw taala to catch yourself at your lowest point, and the best jobs are going to be the unscripted. I tell people, this Nautica that an out of every year, you know, people prepare themselves and they don't know how to make the offer this many hours but they've got these hours and hours and hours of doing that, right. And some people will just keep reading a book over and over and over again. It's like you know, your best drafts are going to be the ones that come from the heart. A lot doesn't need you to rhyme a lot does not need you to sound a certain way.

Observe, you know, read the drops from the sun to springboard. And you know, of course, read them in a wholesome way, don't just read through them quickly, but read them and appreciate them and understand them but then let the next part of that be your unscripted dries. And I would say it's important for us to, especially this year, by the way, even an audit, even if you're not an alpha,

you know, we're not going to be an alpha, except for the few that Allah subhanaw taala would have bestowed that favor upon this year. But the day of ATO felt like actually crapped out a certain amount of time where you make unscripted drat unscripted to pour your heart out to Allah subhana wa Tada.

And you'll see that the goal of the duo

is not just to make the ask and to have the Ask received, but also to connect you to the one from whom we find purpose in life. And yeah, so for me, I just wanted to share that with you all so pantalon that that the tale of two hedges right. So one hedge was optimistic, happy. You know, on top of the world, everything is going right. The next hedge was, you know, falling apart, broken.

Everything seems to be all over the place, but

haven't did inaudible I mean for the opportunity to have done that hedge

We pray that Allah subhanaw taala Have mercy on our parents and forgive our parents and we pray that Allah subhanaw taala allow us and our parents to be gathered in Paradise and generated for those around our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and we pray that Allah subhanaw taala except Hajj once again, from all those that attended this year, and that Allah subhanaw taala facilitate it for us and accepted Hajj in the near future alum I mean, Xochimilco halen wants to know more econ Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh