Listening the Right Way

Nouman Ali Khan


Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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when levena is done about Porter a boo boo Illa De La La Habra she'll be

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under the Enya stemmy una cola Fire TV una Cena who

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levena had

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rubbish actually somebody recently Emory wahoo Dr. Melissa Hokulea with hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam O Allah said he will mousseline while he was happy with the standard mission that he lived with him. Along with john I mean home, Amina Latina, I'm gonna I'm gonna study hard what was wrong with happy what was sort of sub I mean, I mean, once again everyone Somali Kumar How to Buy catalytic Otto. So this evening, I was going to first continue my study and, and reflections from social graph. But I decided to change course for a day just a little bit, because the next subject matter that's coming a certain path is pretty heavy loaded, and I wouldn't be able to do

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justice to it in one evening, and then it would kind of be incomplete. So I'm going to get back to Dallas and get back to that work. inshallah. I'll be making dawn for all of you as I travel, I'm traveling back tomorrow, inshallah. So it's been a really beautiful, a couple of weeks here in New York and some good memories revisited handler.

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So, what I want to talk to you about tonight is iron number, fundamentally, I want to talk to you about iron number 18 of salute Zoomer. So those of you who like to go home and review some of what I talked about today, that's suitor number 39, an iron number 18. Okay, 3918. And in this small section of Soto Zoomer,

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Allah is talking about qualities that he loves for his believers. So he's, he's going to talk about people that are,

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you know, that are successful with a lot that have that have been saved on Judgement Day, there are different places in the Quran, where Allah highlights different qualities of these people. And so this is one of those places where he highlights a unique quality of them. So that's what I'm going to talk to you about today. So he says, alladhina, SME Runa, Allah for Toby Runa.

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He says, those who listen to the word carefully, those who listen to the word carefully for you to be una Axanar, who, and then they follow the best of it. So they so the two parts of this are they listen to the word carefully, and they follow the best of it. And I want to try and decipher that for myself and you so we can walk away with something of benefit tonight and Sharla. The first thing to note here is that Allah is describing one of those things that don't really constitute an action.

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Like an active action, somebody sitting there and listening is not really doing anything, they're just paying attention. Right? So Allah is actually highlighting the importance of us having the ability to focus in on something that's being said.

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And this is actually a really important quality that is now declining, we're losing the ability to pay attention for a long time, we're getting distracted by multiple things, the devices in our hands are all constantly calling us for attention. And even within that device, you're paying attention to one app or one network, social network and you switching over to another and switching over to another. And also even when we are talking or having two or three, four conversations at the same time, it's so as a result of that, we're actually generally humanity is becoming worse listeners. And a quality that Allah loves that is actually related to my spiritual growth is now being

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compromised in general. And if I develop short attention span, in all kinds of communication, it's not going to be possible for me to all of a sudden have high attention span when it comes to Allah's word. Like it's like a muscle that gets trained that year is a kind of a muscle that gets trained. And the ability to listen carefully is actually a very powerful ability, very important ability. But listening carefully isn't enough. This this, this, this ability that Allah has given to you and me to listen to something is not enough. So Allah didn't simply say in this ayah they just listened to the word. And we'll get to the word, the word in a minute, like why was he when he Why would he say

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the word? Why wouldn't he say they listen to the prophet or they listened to Revelation or they listen to advice or counsel. He used the word coal, which fundamentally primarily means the Quran, but it will mean other things too. We're gonna see that Allah intends here, Allahu Allah, vastness and on that I'll mention a side note, as as readers of the Quran you should take note of this. Sometimes Allah is extremely specific in

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What he wants to get across is extremely, extremely specific. And other times he's purposely using open ended words that are not as specific as other words and that's deliberately done by Allah it's purposefully done so that what is understood is more than just one specific thing it's broader right so for example if he said a Latina SME owner Khurana they listen to the what the Quran that's extremely specific Yes. Or if he's if you hear a Latina SME una cola Allah He they hear the speech of Allah that's also extremely specific. But when you say, a Latina, esta mi una Cola, they listen to the speech, they listen to the speech, the word, is that specific or is that broader? That became

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broader, right? So sometimes Allah will intend in from the context you can tell it, of course includes the good word and the highest of that word is the Quran. But Allah did not intends here not to limit the meaning of what is being said to just the revelation to just the words of the prophets always on them. So some broader guidance has been given to you and I. But before we get to that part, we have to come back to listening carefully to listening carefully. Now how do you listen to some something carefully, first of all, you can't be your mind can't be somewhere else you need to be, you know, present, you need to be focused on the conversation and the task at hand. Sometimes

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you can be talking to someone, and you're there, you're looking straight at them. And they're looking straight at you, but they're not looking at you, they're looking through you.

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Right, you can see that they've turned into this, they've got this zombie look on their face, and they see right through you. And if you're perceptive about communication, and you make eye contact, and you're talking to someone you can tell when they're paying attention and not paying attention. And by the way, people can tell that about you too. When you're focused on you're not focused. And some sometimes when your parents, your spouse, whoever, when they know that you're not paying attention certain ways. They're like, the grab your face. Okay? Now listen, okay, okay, I'm listening, Okay, I got it. Because your your, your face has to be turned a certain way. And you have

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to be held a little bit before you can focus, right? Other people have more rude ways of getting you to focus. Wake up, you know, I'm right here, you know, something like that. But the idea is, first and foremost, we should be attentive listeners to begin with. Now, how do you be? What are some things that keep you from being an attentive listener, I really want to say something. I really have something to say, something's on my mind. And you're telling me something, you're talking to me, you're telling me something. But three words into your sentence, I don't have the server in me to allow you to finish your sentence, I need to start my own story. So I'm going to cut you off and

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start my story in the middle.

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I've had incidents like I've had people come in there, they're talking to me, somebody coming in talking to me and saying, I need to tell you something. This is this is this. And this is my brother. He wants to tell you something. Also, he's had a question a long time. He's been waiting a long time to talk to you. I'm like, great. You've been waiting a long time to talk to me. Here I am. Let's talk. And the brother starts talking. He says, What's on the mind? I've had this question and the guy that his brother times and again, yeah, he's had a question for a really long time. This is the question, tell him tell him tell him. And he's like, Well, I was thinking about this. I have no

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crime. You can ask him that question. Right? Yeah, that's the question. Oh, he's got a lot of questions like that, bro. Let the guy talk. Just let him talk. Some people cannot tolerate somebody else talking for too long. They have to chime in, they have to cut the sentence off. They're not able to listen carefully. They're not they love being heard. And then there are other kinds of weird exam, you know, weird habits. people develop, like, some people would love asking questions, but not listening to answers.

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You have conversations like this. So what do you think about this? Well, I think actually, what do you think about that, too? Well, I what I think but also, let me tell you what I think. No, no, wait, I thought you were asking me what I thought.

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This is a quality of the inability to be able to listen to someone can read, if you don't have the patience to allow someone to complete a thought before you answer. Because actually, you don't want to you don't actually want to hear you want to you have you're more interested in being heard than hearing you understand. That's one reason that gets in the way. And that actually means we don't really care what somebody else is saying. I'm not really concerned about what you're saying. I'm more concerned that you hear what I'm saying. You know, and it's funny enough for people like that will they'll tell you, you know, you're not really listening to me. Ironically, you know, someone

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who's not in the habit of actually listening themselves. Right. So that's one kind of blockage to listening carefully that you and I have to look out for. Another kind of blockage to listening carefully is, you know, when you assume and I assume that I already know what you're going to say.

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I have that problem. I as a teacher, I have that problem because I've taught the same

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Same thing many, many times. So as students, as you know, I teach this particular concept and usually a student raises his hand and says, I have a question. Isn't it true that Hold on, I already know your question. Here's the answer. I'm going to assume I already know what the question is going to be already assume what the students confusion is going to be. And you know, what, five out of 10 times I'm right. But the other five times the student says, That wasn't my question. But now I'm confused about that, too.

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Because I have this, my experience makes me convinced that I already know what the other is thinking. My experience sometimes lies to me and tells me Yeah, I got this, I already know what you're gonna say, you don't even got to say it. Let me just tell you the answer without you even asking. I wasn't even asking. That wasn't my question at all. In other words, we are we make quick assumptions about knowing another's thoughts. And we do this because we assume that we can tell just because they asked a similar question before, or we've had some other conversations before all of the future conversations are going to have are going to be the same. This can certainly be done

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among family members, right? Because you deal with family, you have similar kinds of conversations over and over again. And you and I start assuming we know everything there is to know about our sibling, or our spouse or a parent or a child, we know everything there is to know what are they going to? How are they is it? How is it possible in the laws grand universe for my brother to have a unique thought that is impossible? Right? How can he possibly have something to say that he hasn't said before, that isn't humanly possible for him. So this assumption of reducing someone else to our perception, I have an image of you, and I want to maintain that image of you, therefore, I will not

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allow you to speak your mind. And then there's another layer to that even when they speak their mind, even if you allow them to hear to hear them out. You're actually not listening. You're just tolerating.

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You're not I'm not listening, I'm just tolerating. I'll allow you to keep going until you have no more left in the tank. And then I'm going to tell you what I was gonna tell you all along. In other words, I've already got my answer prepared from the beginning of their speech. And nothing they said mattered because I've already prepared my speech.

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So I'm gonna say what I was gonna say all along, no matter what they had to say, because I'm already committed to my ideas. In other words, I'm not opening to learning anything new. I'm not opening to open to hearing a new perspective that might change what I was going to respond with. I'm too committed to my own response. That's actually not listening. That's just a lot waiting for somebody to shut up. That's what that is. It's not listening. When Allah says Allah, Xena esta mi una code. Actually, this this term is DMR means that you are giving somebody an ear, you're going to hear out what they're saying, you're going to think about what they're saying, with an open mind. And let's

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what since we're talking about an open mind, we have to add another dimension. Some words are triggers. Some words are triggers for people. So when they hear that word, they make assumptions about how another person might be using that same word. Okay, so let me give you an interesting example that came up.

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So the word feminism, for instance, a loaded term and modern life, right, is associated if you do feminism studies, the study of feminism, it's actually 100 different things. It's a lot of things that are that come under the umbrella of the study of feminism, right, and some of those things are actually quite fair, the right to equal pay for the same kind of job, for example, is absolutely something I you and I would agree with the right to have a choice in who a woman you know, can marry or this doesn't have to be forced into a marriage, whatever. Somebody would argue this is under the guise of still what feminism, it's women's rights, but it's now being described as feminism. And in

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certain circles, depending on where you are, if you're in a university, and you use that word, people understand it a certain way, isn't it?

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Now, if you go to a certain country in Eastern country, a Muslim country, a traditional society, and you say to somebody, yeah, you know, I agree with some things in feminism, for example, and even as I'm saying this word, some people are already triggered, triggered as they're listening. Oh my God, is he a feminist? Is he because you know what, you have preconceived notions about what this word means. And it means the worst possible things. It means a mockery of the the deen of Allah and the teachings of Islam and it's in the name of liberty and justice. It's a violation of all things that are that belong in the Sunnah of the messenger. So sort of, and some things within the within the

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umbrella of feminism, in fact, do violate our stand against our religion. That is a fact that can't be politically incorrect as it is, that is a fact. But there are other things within it that aren't. But you know what? For some people, they will hear the word feminism and all the

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Here's justice, the here what justice and for other people, they hear the word feminism and all the years Cofer.

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That's all they hear. So the word is being used by a person, but depending on who's listening, they're giving their own definition to it based on their own healthy or their own background, you understand. So even if we're using the same words, and that was just an example, today's topic isn't feminism. And don't ask me questions about my example. The point is about language, when I'm using a certain kind of language, depending on your background, you might interpret it a certain way. And I might interpret it a certain different way You understand? And we assume the worst, we assume the worst possible meaning. So we when we hear someone, we think you said this, let me think of the way

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that this can be interpreted in the most offensively possible way, this most offensive way. That's what you meant, isn't it? That's what you meant. Right? I know what you meant by that. And so what we do is we take somebody's words, and we try to internalize the worst of what it could mean. The worst of what it could mean. Listen to what Allah says here. And Athena asked me, I'm gonna go gola. una escena, who

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they listen to the word, then they follow the best of it, the best of it. Now that phrase is really significant, because Allah is telling us here, that if this is the best of it, there must be a possibility that you heard what the worst of it that doesn't mean the word is good or bad. It means my perception and my assumptions can make something good and turn it into something very bad. I can read into words, and I can read into something in the worst possible way. Let's not take a loaded term like feminism. Let's try something easier. You can say Somalia,

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and Somali come in a text message could mean Peace be upon you. It can also mean Get lost. I never want to see your face again. Somalia.

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You know what? Sonico

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somebody is reading the same words. And there's, oh, that's how you're going to talk to me. You're gonna say Salaam to me.

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Oh, it's on now. You know what? I won't even say why? because soon I'm gonna say salaam aleikum back.

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Leonard Cohen, I listen to a semi colon aroona accent, then the other the other part of it.

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We hear something within our religion. We hear something within our religion. And we want to follow it in a way that suits our existing assumptions. So just because we're learning something about our theme, doesn't mean that we don't bring this bias into the conversation. So I'll tell you a personal experience that has occurred many times over. I will give a talk about for example, the rights of parents, for instance, on another occasion, I might give a dose about the rights of children. For instance, I go somewhere, and a mother very angry mother will come to me and say you gave a talk about the rights of children. You remember that? Although, actually I don't. The ratios of you said

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this. Let me play the clip for you. As you're playing the clip.

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Yep, yep. I said that. Yeah. You know, when my son said, when you said that, he said that it's okay for him to disobey me. Because you said this, this is and he shows me this clip every time and you're encouraging our sons to disobey their mothers.

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Because he used this, this is what you said.

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What did I know I said it and her son, Whatsapp it had happened. But what's actually going on here, he's hearing something. And he's taking from it what serves his ugly purpose of being able to be disrespectful to his mom, and he's taking something good, but taking it in the ugliest possible way, and using it as weapon and Arsenal in his argument against his own mother.

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By the way, parents can do that to children too. It's a two way street. It's a two way street, taking taking something good in our religion. There's only good words. There's only good speech, but you can take good speech, and you can use it in the worst manipulative, offensive, incorrect, unjust, oppressive kinds of ways. But you're still quoting Allah's word. You're still citing a last word. And so you can do that. And so unless as these people they first of all, they listen carefully to what's being said. They what that already told you from a psychological point of view, what that means for you and me is we put our assumptions aside, we surrender our assumptions to the word of

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Allah, especially.

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Whatever I thought I knew I have to put that aside Ally's talking, I cannot impose my opinions. My presumptions my bias.

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sees my cultural upbringing. I can't impose that on Allah's word, Kadima to Kalamata law here earlier, it's the highest place for I have to do my best to fight my own assumptions. When I listened to Allah's word,

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then once I try my very best to understand what a lie is saying that I'm going to take the best of what he said, what that means is, everything he said, is the best, the best way of taking it, the most beautiful way of taking it, the most selfless way of taking it, there's no ugliness in the way I interpreted it. What is ugliness that I knew I knew somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm going to use this to slap someone across the face. I'm going to use this to win an argument. I'm going to use this to justify my position, I see how I can twist the meaning over here and it justifies my opinion. And I can win that debate. Right. So the word of Allah can easily be manipulated by human

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beings it can be this is why Allah said you looby he can see one way or maybe he can he run he miss guides by means of this Quran many people by examples that he's given, he allows me to be misguided, and many He guides who does he guide those who follow listen to it carefully and won't want to follow the best of it in the best possible way. And who does he allow to be misguided. The people who are also listening to the word of Allah was listening to him to it for another purpose, being selective in their listing, being manipulative in their listening, following it for the ugly for ugly reasons. Without ecology, Na, hula, hula Bob, I love it, what a profoundly like fitting

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conclusion to the idea. Those are the people that Allah Himself guided, Hadar, whom Allah, Allah guided them. In other words, they heard good speech, they tried to follow it to the best of their ability, but even the best of my ability can be flawed. The best of what I tried, if I'm sincere, and I tried my best to understand what's being said, and I tried to follow it in the best possible way. That's still a human effort, it could be flawed. The only way that can be complete is if Allah ensures his guidance. On top of that a divine intervention of guidance. We like alladhina, hula, those are the people that Allah guided. So they did their part. And then Allah did his part, his

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stamp of approval on top of that, that's the gift from Allah that's coming. And then the final part, but na, eco hula, Al Bab. Those are the people that possess sound minds. These are the people of real thought. So where did we begin? And where are we ending this is a symmetrical structure and desire. We began with people who listened carefully alladhina SME Oh, no code listening carefully. And at the end, he says these are the people of sound or great minds. And a simple definition of people of great minds is a noble act on solid on Hollis, Amina Shah from Amman, Ravi, he says, The Lord is a sound mind a you know, a pure mind. That isn't that's free of biases and vanities. If my

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mind is free of mail, free of biases, and I'm thinking about something in a neutral, unbiased kind of way, that's a person of lobe person who thinks in a neutral way clear way. So let at the end describes these people as actually intellectual, truly intellectual, intelligent people. Right? So what is the low one from you and me in this aisle, he wants us to become intelligent listeners, careful listeners. And sometimes that's really hard to do. And I'm going to at the end of this, I'm going to try to give you examples outside of the Quran of why this can be difficult. And while this can be a really powerful, beautiful quality you and I can develop, it's not an easy thing to

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develop. It's not an easy thing to develop at all. But I'm going to try to encourage myself in you to develop this quality. You may have had a conversation with someone that's very angry.

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They're very angry, don't look that way be on the side of the partitions and guys are looking.

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Right? And they're saying

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just crazy things. They're just saying the most angry hurtful things? And you're in shock? How could you even say that?

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How could you say such a thing? Why did that come out of your mouth? What did I ever do to you that you're saying this and this? Right? And you're? And when you hear hurtful things, then of course your immediate responses what you're angry, you're upset? And you're outraged? How dare you say, XYZ? How could you say this when I've done this, this, this and this? I can't believe you hurt me in this way. You know, this is outrageous, etc, etc. But if you really tune into this quality, even though when someone speaks angrily or says something outrageous, it's offensive, and it's hurtful, but it might be possible that you can hear what they're saying.

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And step back a little bit. Listen carefully to what they're saying. And you might find that in between the anger. There were some things that made a lot of sense that they were actually angry.

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about something that was reasonable. They chose to talk about it in a really terrible way, in a really hurtful way. That erased the reasonable part of it. It got buried so deep inside their anger and their loud voice, or the hurtful words that the good that they were saying, maybe they were angry about something that they should justifiably be angry about. Right. And that got lost because they're not able to articulate themselves clearly, because they are not good with words. So they just express it with anger. But if you're able to step back and say, let me find Asana, who Asana has, okay, let me find the good in this speech. Were you angry? I mean, you you said things, and I

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don't like the way you said it. But that's not the point. I'm pretty sure you were upset because of this. Were you upset because of this? And that person might say, Yeah.

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You know what it is? I think you say good things, but you don't, you just don't say them in a good way.

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I realize that now you say good things. And that means you mean, well, you're not an evil person. You're not a bad person, but you don't say them in the best way.

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And you know what you will do? That's a really powerful quality to have because the person who was angry who was outrageous was losing their mind. If you were able to communicate in this way, you know, what, what happened to Well, you're really good listener. Yeah, unless isn't it nice to be on Colbert, who NASA second hire. There's a YouTube video about it. Let me show you.

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The point is, if you develop that you might de escalate a lot of situations, just because you can even find good in something that apparently looks bad. It's a good message wrapped in bad packaging. Right? And that's why our religion actually is one in which not only what we say matters, but how we say it also matters. You know, what would have been soltec Lower your voice and not uncommon. La Swati la Soto Hamid, the ugliest of the sounds is the brain of a donkey. Right. So we have this, you know, this this mannerism in which we talk, our body language matters. But you know what, sometimes when a person's not really in control of their emotions in a moment, they might say things in a way

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that is not you don't have to quote the IRA. Allah says, well, woman Celtic, and

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now follow the best of it. Laurier voice No, no, that's it. Let them let them be heard. And just be just listen, just listen. I'm actually reminded as I end I'm reminded of what I shall the Allahu taala and her did when she was accused when she was slandered. And it was also Isilon sat next to her and he questioned her. And he said almonty wisdom when, you know, first off it allow her to be lazy, if you've done anything wrong than just ask Allah's forgiveness and repent to him,

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you know, so, there was also Salamis telling his wife, if you did do something along the lines of what people are suggesting, you should just make go by and she had been crying for a couple of days already. Right? And she was crying so much. He said, You have a nanny and Mel buka fairly concavity she said, I thought my parents were so concerned that my liver is going to tear open from the crying but the moment the prophets lie Selim said this she said kalasa Domini my tears right up immediately.

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Like you know when you hear something really makes you angry. When you're crying look

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What did you say?

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What did you look a child even? So I was crying crying crying. Okay, you know what? I'm I'm gonna break her PlayStation. What?

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Did you just say that sadness turned into what? Anger immediately with our mother eyeshadow villamagna she's extremely sad. She's dying of sadness. When resources have been questioned her it turned into anger.

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And then she turned to her mother ajibola gb Rasul Allah He solos on female called

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answer the messenger Baba. He just said, Well, my email that email

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her mother said, I swear by a lie. I don't know what to say Delmas messenger of Allah sallallahu It was one of my female call. She turns to answer him about what he just said. She told her father, he said well, lahemaa remark julio de la seminaries and he said Allah I swear by Allah I don't know what to say to the Messenger of Allah Samsung. So now if he's not gonna, he's not gonna say anything. And he's not gonna say anything. I'm gonna say something

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was why he looked at him to look at Samaritan hasn't had he had he had the stocker Ravi unphysical

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I swear by Allah you people who she's saying who she's saying you people do. Her mother, her father and who else is there? brucellosis.

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She's saying to the three of them.

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Whereby Allah you people heard this talk, and it made its way deep inside your hearts had the stocker Rafi in four seconds so hurry

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How can someone talk to their mother that way? Their father that way And on top of all of that, who was also excellent. And this is in Buhari

00:30:19--> 00:30:32

we learned about parents how do you respond to them? A lot of hula hula often Maki surah. She knows that this is in Medina that's been already been revealed. It's like about the IR came later about being quiet in front of parents. No, no, no, that's already been revealed.

00:30:33--> 00:30:42

And she said she goes on and on quote part of what she said well, la he la de la Kuma salon. I swear by Allah. I don't even have an example to describe you people.

00:30:44--> 00:30:45

Who she talking to?

00:30:46--> 00:30:51

Was her mother, her father, the three people in the world you have to have the highest respect for

00:30:52--> 00:30:53


00:30:55--> 00:30:58

Ana Magnifico rasulillah in Alinea, who knows what

00:31:00--> 00:31:00

would I call a

00:31:03--> 00:31:03

lot of

00:31:05--> 00:31:32

focus on all these items already you know that that one hasn't come yet others have already come? What are these? The Allah says worship Allah and be the best to your parents. Who did he put after himself? The parents, other places in the Quran, those who raised their voices in front of the Messenger of Allah all their good deeds are taken away. Don't raise your voices above the voice of the Prophet. Well, number one number two sola you have better no this is the Messenger of Allah among us of Aloha. I need you to watch it the way you talk to him. You know,

00:31:33--> 00:31:37

so you you can't call him the way you call others.

00:31:38--> 00:31:53

You can't talk to him the way you talk to others. That's not allowed but she's doing it she's doing an install three of them at the same time. And then she says in the cola used to folly what he said he says the only thing I can think of

00:31:54--> 00:31:57

what it reminds me of is an eye of the Quran.

00:31:58--> 00:32:04

Basically, it's the ironware use of his father what he said to use his brothers

00:32:05--> 00:32:44

you people I don't even know how to describe you except with the IR from sort of use of were uses father was talking to use his brothers after they had taken the shirt and took ticket and off their brother and put fake blood on it and brought it back and lied. Remember when they lied? And he said a sovereign Jamil will law who will start I know I love seafood, I shadow the law who turned to the prophets I saw them and her mother and said and father and said for sovereign Jamil por la hermosa en Allah Moto Z foon formata her wealth water JATO illa falacci then I turned my back to them and I lie down in my bed curled up. I'm done y'all can go.

00:32:45--> 00:32:48

That's what she did. Was that anger?

00:32:49--> 00:33:02

But behind that anger, was there something else? Yes. Now you know, you would think if somebody is spoken to the product, you understand what just happened? She just quoted the Quran to the resources Allah who received the Quran?

00:33:04--> 00:33:16

And who did she compare her parents and the prophet to in that example. She compared it to the story of Musa from Islam and the brothers who lied, who came up with a false story.

00:33:17--> 00:33:26

does pretty intense that she did that. And then a few minutes later, Kron came down.

00:33:27--> 00:33:31

Can I ask came down? And when dacotah came down and defended her

00:33:32--> 00:33:36

and defended her, what do you learn? Why am I bringing that up today? And Lizzie, nice to meet

00:33:37--> 00:33:47

you escena who in this in this incident rasulillah selection could have corrected her could have stopped her could have told her to lower her voice. He could have done all of those things, yes or no?

00:33:49--> 00:33:55

If and if nothing else, her parents could have said watch it. You're talking to us messenger. We're your parents. They could have said yes or no.

00:33:57--> 00:34:08

But they saw something they heard her they heard her words that were hurtful for them to hear. They weren't the best choice. But you know what? They could see that there's something good behind.

00:34:09--> 00:34:52

The good behind it is that she's hurt. That her dignity is being being scarred by something she's never done. And even the possibility that her parents and the Messenger of Allah might even entertain that that's possible for her to do is so hurtful to her that she reacted in this way. And also someone can hear that in her pain, and he won't respond to her. He'll wait for the IR to come down. And when the IR came down, he was so happy he was outside. And the narration describes he started sweating when the IR came down with well, germanium in Iraq. It was like pearl beads sweats, dropping from him without liquor for your main hub. And this was on a hot day. It was a human shot.

00:34:52--> 00:34:59

It wasn't a cold day. It was a freezing cold in the desert, and he was sweating and the IOD came down and said um, I shall allow you but Nuki

00:35:00--> 00:35:13

Above baraki Allah has proven you innocent. Ayesha. He called it out from the outside. She's inside. She didn't get up. She kept lying down. She was curled up back to them. She's curled up, she's still upset.

00:35:14--> 00:35:40

The messenger just called you you didn't get up, mom went over to her who really get up and go to him. Her mom came into that. She said, Well, la Hola, como la? She said, Well, Allah here everybody knows, right? Even if you don't know Arabic, Allah, you know, right. Yeah. Arab friends, you have you they just give you a laser. You know, we're lucky, right? Like, Well, lucky, I don't know, Arabic. You got it, right. So well, I hate I swear to God, I'm not getting up and going to him.

00:35:42--> 00:35:43

So then she said, in

00:35:44--> 00:36:24

Georgia, I'm only gonna thank Allah. He didn't prove me and they said, who did a lot and she's still upset. She was still upset. Even at that time. What I'm getting at in this reminder for myself in all of you is in the Word of Allah, we can take good advice and turn it into bad one. Because of our bias in the speech that we hear from others, sometimes they're saying a good thing, but we hear it as a bad thing. And sometimes we hear is, and by the way, take the good as good. But you know what, we have to also develop this the sense the wisdom, that sometimes we hear something bad, but behind, it might actually be something good, you might hear something hurtful, but behind it might actually

00:36:24--> 00:36:45

be something worth paying attention to. I don't endorse bad speech, I don't endorse loud voices or bad words being used, I don't endorse them. But if you develop that empathy, and that careful listening, then you can follow, you know, following actually here has a couple of meanings, maybe another session at some point. But for now, you can actually pinpoint the source problem.

00:36:46--> 00:36:53

Because then the argument will become if you don't pinpoint the source problem, the argument will become, how dare you speak to me this way?

00:36:55--> 00:37:29

Oh, yeah, you didn't like that? Well, you're really not gonna like this one, then. And then the next response. And it escalates and escalates and escalates. Because you didn't identify the source problem. Once you identify the source problem, and you say, I hear what you're saying through even though you're not saying those words, but I can hear them anyway. I can hear the sign in them. And I'll tell you, I empathize with it, and I agree with you, and I understand why you're hurt, then the other who raised their voice might even recognize, you know, when I shouldn't raise my voice like that. You didn't even have to tell them to apologize. They're they, they now feel heard, they now

00:37:29--> 00:38:07

feel that they're being understood, or an attempt is being made to understand them, and they might back down and de escalate. Right? So that's the kind of thing we have, we have the quality that you and I have to develop. And again, it's not easy, because when you hear something that bothers you, you're you're my first response is Oh, yeah, oh, you want to talk that way? It's on now. You know, so we, we bring it, you know, you fight fire with fire. But this this is something that allows them to would love to see in us and this requires a degree of cyber requires a really a true degree of summary, allows you to make as people have careful listening, and following the best of what is

00:38:07--> 00:38:34

being said. And we allow a social make us of those who, when they hear the word of Allah, they do their level best to not impose their own biases onto the word of Allah, that they tried to listen to it in the most humble in the position of being the humblest of Allah slaves, and to guide us through His Word, and make us kind towards one another radical while you were looking for the king, when he finally when he did it with him. I'll take any brief questions, and we can call it an HR. Yes, sir.

00:38:47--> 00:38:48

So in saying that

00:38:55--> 00:38:56

this isn't

00:39:00--> 00:39:00

the best one.

00:39:29--> 00:39:29


00:39:37--> 00:39:38


00:39:42--> 00:39:42


00:39:43--> 00:39:44

always ready.

00:39:45--> 00:39:47

Yeah, so I have to say,

00:39:50--> 00:39:59

yeah, that's a really that's a really good question. And the question really is, how do you know that what you're listening to it seems like a good thing. How do you actually know it's a good thing and what do you follow? What do you know?

00:40:00--> 00:40:40

Follow, especially in the age of misinformation, you know, disinformation, propaganda, you know, manipulated messages right? And that's certainly Islam is being presented that way online too, right? There are a million ways to look at the same thing. I honestly I do believe that our intention is the most important component of this, we're sincerely turning to Allah looking for the right kind of guidance. And the other mechanisms a lot put in place, which were to be in circles or community or communication with people that you trust, that that you know, know better. You know, how Allah is there's a Hadith of the Prophet, and what angels surrounding people that sit and study

00:40:40--> 00:41:13

the Quran together. Right? And that doesn't mean that it said that all the people that are sitting there sitting belong together all Ummah and they've all got degrees, etc. But the fact that they're attempting to do that together and learn what does Allah do Allah stars guardian angels are surrounding them. They're being mentioned in our shovel like cetera, et cetera. What that also means that's at the spiritual level, I would argue spiritually, also level prevent people like that, who are sincerely doing that. He will, he will prevent them from being misguided because they're sincerely looking for the truth. So even if they misunderstand something, a lot will open doors for

00:41:13--> 00:41:20

them, that they will actually come across the better the right kind of knowledge. That isn't the end of at the end of day an act of the worker.

00:41:22--> 00:41:25

Yeah, absolutely. It is. Depending on top one. Absolutely.

00:41:28--> 00:41:28


00:41:40--> 00:41:41

I could probably hear you better without the mic.

00:41:47--> 00:41:47

That's a

00:41:49--> 00:41:49


00:41:52--> 00:41:53


00:41:55--> 00:41:56


00:41:59--> 00:42:14

yeah, so yeah, well, if I'm talking to somebody from a different religion, I have my own biases in favor of Islam is what is that what your question is? Yeah. Well, this is this is actually a really fundamental question. I've answered it in different ways on different occasions. But here, what I would say is,

00:42:15--> 00:42:22

we don't arrive at Islam. We're not supposed to arrive at Islam, just because our parents were Muslim.

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We actually have to arrive intellectually, consciously at our faith, so that we understand that this is what the prophet said, Drew Illallah, EI, la sirotkin. And our Manitoba and the Quran told them to say this, I call to Allah with insight with open eyes, I and whoever follows.

00:42:44--> 00:43:24

In other words, bias means I don't want to think about it, this is what it is, this is what I'm comfortable with. It's it's a, it's, it's a, it's not a, it's not a well thought out position, a bias position. It's just within your comfort zone. Islam, for me, should not be just something within my comfort zone, I should arrive at my faith, I, I believe the Quran to be the word of Allah and intellectually I'm, I'm settled on that. And I have my reasons for that. When I have my reasons for that I can speak about my faith in an unbiased way. And I'm not worried that I'm simply just holding on to something and I'm scared of losing it. You see, so what happens a lot of times people

00:43:24--> 00:43:58

ask the question, how do we make sure our kids don't lose their mind? Because you know, they can get shaken? Well, why are they getting shaken because the foundation wasn't built. And the foundation can only be built not only spiritually, but also intellectually. Why are you Muslim? Why do you believe the Quran is the word of Allah? Why aren't we Islam became teaching Islam became so much about what what what? What is the prayer? What is how much what is it a Milan? What what what and then how, how do you pray? How do you make a loop? How do you clean yourself? How do you do this? How do you do that? How do you eat? How do you slaughter? So the What in the hell became Islam? But

00:43:58--> 00:44:35

you know what, we're in a we're in a time now, where all of our generations are starting to ask why do we follow Islam? While Islamic education became focused on what, how and what we ignored the question of why and the Why is absolutely important, because then I can say with an open heart and an open mind, I don't have a bias in accepting this faith. I came to it, you know, thoughtfully. I arrived in love and now the conversation I have with someone of a different faith is completely different. It's completely different. You understand? So that footing needs to be there and that needs to be restored.

00:44:38--> 00:44:40

Sister side Any questions before I take guys again?

00:44:42--> 00:44:43

We're good. Okay, we're good.

00:44:45--> 00:44:46

One more this is this is it.

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00:44:59--> 00:44:59

can you

00:45:00--> 00:45:06

I'm sorry, I know it's dangerous, but I can't tell what you're saying. Yeah. So

00:45:09--> 00:45:12

understanding what's going on and

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yeah, growing up later on in life.

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English, okay.

00:45:27--> 00:45:32

Right. English. That some meetings? Right?

00:45:34--> 00:45:36

discussing with other people.

00:45:40--> 00:45:42

Okay. You might miss it.

00:45:45--> 00:45:46

Okay, this

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00:45:50--> 00:45:51

Okay. Yeah.

00:45:52--> 00:45:55

I feel there's a lot of information out there, right.

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00:46:05--> 00:46:06

Not only but yes.

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00:46:17--> 00:46:18


00:46:19--> 00:46:20


00:46:23--> 00:46:58

Okay. Let's talk about that a little bit. So the question, basically is that, you know, raised, raised as a Muslim born born racism Muslim, read the Quran never understood it, we were told to keep it on a high shelf or have high regard for it. Later on in life, I decided to kind of figure out what is this book even saying, so you get a translation of the Quran, you start reading. And as you're reading the translation, you start thinking, Oh, this is what it means. This is what it means you start making some conclusions about what the Quran is saying, based on your readings. And then you get told by friends, that's dangerous, because you might misinterpret what it's saying, right?

00:46:58--> 00:47:14

Because you're not qualified or etc. So how are you supposed to interact with the Quran? And Aren't you just supposed to have good if you have good intentions, you'll get the right meanings out of it? We essentially right that's that's the comment. So I'll say a few things about that.

00:47:15--> 00:47:56

The first thing I'll say is reading the Quran in translation is a good thing. Trying to trying to understand what it's saying is a good thing. Coming up with certain conclusions up until now I have no problem with the process is also a good thing. The problem happens after that. After that, let's just say I'm I'm this because this is important, right? This is God's This is Allah's word. And also there's a barrier, what's that barrier, the barrier of translation, right? And sometimes things are lost in translation, right? So now once you get to a point where you read something, and you understood something, now is the time for you to go to somebody who is more seasoned than you,

00:47:56--> 00:48:30

perhaps more learned, perhaps a group of people that have been studying, perhaps an environment online, of course, something that where people have actually dedicated time to academically, properly study the book, and present your conclusion and say, Hey, I have this conclusion. Am I right? This is what I was thinking, does that make any sense? And you know, what, 20 to 23 years of studying the Quran now, I still do that. It's still my process. I'm reading something, I think I understand it. And I go to scholars and other colleagues and others and say, This is what I was thinking, what do you guys think?

00:48:31--> 00:49:13

Does that make any sense? And there's still a back and forth. This is actually the way by which contemplation on the Quran should happen. And what you'll learn what as you engage in that journey, is you you, not you, but a person will stop hiding behind what I only we can only call intellectual laziness. What that means is, if a subject is important enough, you will dive deep, right? But for somehow, for some reason, Muslims themselves, I must have run is easy. So I don't have to dive deep. It should be easy for me to just get it without any, you know, any engagement. Allah says Nia dumper wealthy so they contemplate deeply into its iaat. Like, he expects, he gave me this treasure. And he

00:49:13--> 00:49:34

expects me to spend time exploring it put effort into exploring it. And what I want is a convenient, like kind of a relationship where I just do a surface reading, make a conclusion and go on and say no, no, no, Allah said it should be easy. I don't want to make it hard on myself. No, not hard, but should hard work be put in Yeah, it's worth it.

00:49:35--> 00:49:59

It's worth it. It's worth putting in the hard work worth putting in resources worth buying literature, buying in English, the seat of the Quran, for example, you know, with a commentary of scholarly commentary on the Quran. Here's what I thought I wonder what the scholar had to say. Even sometimes you read a scholar you might not find the answer you're looking for and you keep exploring. You keep asking you keep investigating, and sometimes it's okay to have I autumn dhokra

00:50:00--> 00:50:33

About what you have questions and you've got in your notes, little question marks on it. And you don't have the answer yet because maybe one day Allah will open that door for you. Maybe one day you'll run into somebody who can maybe help you find that answer, etc. Right. So that's, that's part of our journey with Allah's book, it's the same exact thing we would want a non Muslim to do. A non Muslim will end up reading the translation of the Quran, have certain questions, you know, what we would want them to do? Go talk to a Muslim who knows better? Isn't that what we would want? And we have now a situation where the vast majority of Muslims have no idea what the Quran is none no clue.

00:50:34--> 00:50:48

And even when they begin to try to explore it, we discourage them to say you're not a scholar, don't study Don't touch it. You're not even letting them take one step for fear of misguidance you know, what, the misguidance of never reading it and never touching you, I think a lot more dangerous

00:50:49--> 00:51:25

than, you know, abandoning the word of a lie, I think would be a bigger problem than your fear that they might misinterpret something. Yeah, they might misinterpret something. And you know what, then they'll find out as people go, you know, investigate, there's no shortage of resources. And they might find out that what they were thinking was the right thing, or it was, or maybe needed a little bit of adjustment. Oh, I didn't think about it that way. I see. I see. I see. And their mind will expand. And every time you get one of those questions answered, your desire to dive deeper into the Quran will strengthen. That's actually what's going to happen. And your your bond with Allah will

00:51:25--> 00:51:30

strengthen because your bond with the Quran is strengthening. So you're on the right track?

00:51:31--> 00:51:32

You Yes.

00:51:36--> 00:51:38

Okay, this is like officially the last question.

00:51:41--> 00:51:43

The same without the mic, I'll repeat it. It's okay.

00:51:45--> 00:51:46


00:51:53--> 00:51:53

Number one.

00:52:03--> 00:52:04


00:52:09--> 00:52:11

We need to say why and how we can.

00:52:13--> 00:52:14

Okay, good.

00:52:18--> 00:52:19

Find out.

00:52:22--> 00:52:23

How can ask this?

00:52:26--> 00:52:27

question is that?

00:52:30--> 00:52:34

I know it's true, but sometimes he says that it is your primary house.

00:52:50--> 00:52:51


00:52:55--> 00:52:56

Okay, so the first question

00:52:58--> 00:53:34

was, I said that we Islamic education became focused on the how and the what? And we lost touch with the why, right, which is actually the basis of our faith. Why would someone hold on to Islam? Why would they believe? Or do I have any, any advice on how we can help inculcate some of that? Yeah, I'll give you the advice that I followed myself, I had the question of why I had a crisis of faith. I was born and raised in a Muslim family, I lived my childhood. And so the I spent time in Pakistan, and I knew the what and the how, but I never knew the why. The only answer to the why was, why not?

00:53:36--> 00:54:13

And the only answer the why was, well, I'm more of a Muslim family. That's why. But when you came to when I came to America, and I'm exposed to a whole other way of looking at life, and different people with different wise, and they're asking me, why do you do that? They're not asking me, how do you make wudu? How do you pray? How do you? They're saying, Why do you guys do that? And now I'm getting hit with why for the first time, like, I don't think I have any why training. I need to go back and I literally had this crisis of faith and Allah, millions of people have this crisis of faith. They get hit with the wife for the first time. And they're like, just because my parents are

00:54:13--> 00:54:23

well, then Hindus are Hindu, because their parents are Hindu. And Christian is a Christian because their parents are Christian. So I'm Muslim, because my parents are Muslim. It's not because Islam is true, is because it's just passed down, you know,

00:54:24--> 00:54:51

as inheritance in a Latina hoodie through GitHub, those were given the book and inheritance, that's all it is. So what I what I did, what I did as a favor to me a massive favor to me is that he introduced me to the Quran in a way that that convinced me that it's divine. He introduced me to allow somebody to open doors for me to study the Quran and to expose me to people that allowed me to hear the Quran. It was crazy because at university I was studying philosophy,

00:54:52--> 00:54:56

you know, comparative religion, and I was studying you know,

00:54:57--> 00:54:59

evolutionary biology those early courses in college

00:55:00--> 00:55:39

At the same time I'm studying the Quran. And everything that I'm studying here leads me away from being a Muslim. And then every time I'm studying the Quran, it's crushing all of the confusions I had over here, and it's bringing me back in line. It's bringing me back in line, right? And then, at the end of all of that, I realized that just because I got exposed to the Quran in this way, in an intellectual way, through an intellectual teacher, someone like Dr. Hassan Mohammed Rahim, Allah who did this in order to write, and I owe, like, traductor, simulacrum, I owe my life to them, because they introduced me to the Quran in a way that my modern mind, my college student mind could actually

00:55:39--> 00:56:13

process and say, Oh, that's why it's divine. Oh, that's why I must believe it. And eventually, I tried to do some of this for you guys. So one of the recommendations I have for all of you, actually, it's, I hope you guys take it seriously. I would like for you to sign up on Vienna TV, and I would like for all of you to go through the course called divine speech, all of it go through all of it. It's called what? divine speech and the purpose of that course is simply answering one question, not for you for myself, why do I believe the Quran is divine?

00:56:14--> 00:56:54

Not anybody else. I'm not telling anybody else to believe it's divine or non divine, I just want to explain to you why I am convinced that this can only be divine. And I spent 16 hours explaining it's a course little by little sessions. Of course, you know, students can ask, you know, even if you ask your choke kids to read the Quran, they read the Quran and say, I don't get it. The second chapter is a cow. But the, I can't find a cow is a cow was only for like a couple of pages. Why is it called the cow? And how come the topic just keeps on changing? and How come? You know there's no, there's no subject order? And then it says muddy and murky on top, but then he means that was given later,

00:56:54--> 00:57:02

why is it earlier? What's going on? And then why why why why this? Why this? Why this? Why is this here? Why is that and parents are like,

00:57:04--> 00:57:09

okay, okay, you know, what you do you make will do? And let me warn you. So you stop asking this?

00:57:11--> 00:57:54

Because we were not given the answer to these questions, right? So you might find that somebody reading a translation of the Quran might come away with more questions and answers, which is why I put that course together, I put that course together so that young people who are or even adults who just never studied the Y can feel a little bit more at ease about oh, that's why it's divine. Oh, the Oh, I see. Okay. Yeah, well, that can't be human. You know. And that's at least how I see it. And I'll tell you some personal experiences. I taught this. The one of the first times I taught divine speech, I used to teach it as a seminar. I taught it in LA, I still remember. And it was at a

00:57:54--> 00:58:28

university auditorium. And I finished that it wasn't for three hours. The first night was three hours. And it was just a fancy word. Why does Why is fatty hub by itself proof that the Quran is divine is basically that was the conversation, right? So at the end of that, this mom came to me with her son, 18 year old son. And she said he wants to tell you something, but separately, I was like, Okay, so this young man takes me to the side. And I say, so what's going on? He said, You know, I had tickets to a Lakers game tonight.

00:58:29--> 00:59:06

And I've been waiting to go to a Lakers game the entire year. And my mom forced me to come here. And the only way she was able to convince me, she promised me that if I regret it, she'll get me playoff tickets. So the only reason I came here is for playoff tickets. Because I was going to go tell her. It was a term terrible night. I didn't want to be here. I was right. Give me some playoff tickets. Because you cost me that game ticket. Then he says to me, today is the first time in my whole life. I'm 18 years old. Today is the first time in my whole life. I know why I'm Muslim.

00:59:07--> 00:59:15

That's what he told me. And I said, Okay, that mission accomplished that mission. And that's a kid who was raised in a Muslim family.

00:59:16--> 00:59:17

He's reasonable, some family

00:59:18--> 00:59:48

and he's recited the father his whole life. You understand that? Right? He's in. He's standing in a normal bar next to his dad. He's doing all the how and the what? He never knew why he's doing it. And he heard just three hours of that. He said, I just want to thank you because for the first time I, you know, I know why I was and he even told me other things. He told me I couldn't have this conversation with my parents. They'd freak out. If I told them Why are we even following this religion? How do you even know it's true? Or they just I know that I know my mom. She'd have a heart attack.

00:59:49--> 00:59:57

I can't tell her that. But I feel a lot better. I was like, Well, I'm really glad you feel better. Hope see hope. See you tomorrow. And if you get playoff tickets, don't forget me.

01:00:00--> 01:00:20

But that's what I want for millions of young people I want them to, to come out of that silent crisis of faith. The your kids might not tell you that they're having a crisis, that they're having questions. You know, something one time, one of my friends kids told me, you know, you ever wonder, in the end, who's going to be right?

01:00:22--> 01:00:41

That's, in the end, who's going to be right, I was like, You wonder about that sometimes. Because, yeah, you know, like, like, if we all die, and then like, we get raised again. And then we find out that this this group that worshiped a frog, they were the right ones. We're all holding our lottery tickets, like, we got the wrong man, you know?

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Cuz he's, he's like, we follow this, they follow that they follow that they follow that. So chances are, the probability of us being right is one out of all, you know, divided by how many religions, right?

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Are you even if your kids aren't telling you they have this question? In fact, some of you yourselves might have had that question at some point in your life, but it's scary to say it out loud. Right. And I had that question. I'm telling you openly. I had that question. I wasn't sure. And I had to come to terms with my faith in here, not just in here, not just through prayer, but I need to see why am I believing in this right? So that's that that was my journey with what's up Brian and I would like for you to take advantage of that inshallah. And then inshallah, beyond that many other resources. Alright, I'm done for the evening, and Hello, Carla Jackalope and it is really

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nice being back here. I pray Allah gives me another chance to come back and visit the community again inshallah. And you know, between now when I'm setting up for our packing down, and after Salah, we can have some conversations with each other zakum a little hidden somewhere to come back to life.