Financial Rights of Those That Are Close
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
File Size: 23.21MB
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number 17 of the four answers to the slop. I started talking to you about these ions from number 23 onwards. And I each time I do that, I remind you that this is a bronze version of what you can call the 10 commandments given in previous scripture. So the fundamental teachings of Islam, when it comes to how we deal with a law and how we deal with people around us. So in part of that there, the first couple of IOD were dedicated to parents and I talked about that a few times. And then we get to iron number 25, where allows our children stops before he gives us the next instruction and adds point of reflection. And that's a style of the Quran. The Quran is not just a book of rules and
teachings and tell you to do this and not do that. Because if you tell people to do something or not do something, that alone by itself is not guidance, because you can actually obey Allah or actually even manipulate the laws of Allah and get away with doing wrong. So there's the outside of, for example, the Act, the act of prayer, that takes something simple the act of prayer, on the outside of it, you have to have will do you have to face the right direction, you have to pray the right number of records, you have to fulfill all of the components of the prayer and the prayer is done. But if your heart's not in it, then it's there's something seriously missing, even though
technically all the requirements were met. So it can be that we obey the commandment of Allah in a way that people think that we they obeyed it, we obeyed it, and we even think we obeyed it, but there's something seriously missing in what we did. Right? So and that's, that's an act of worship. But when it comes to dealings with people, it gets even more difficult. Because if Allah says, Be the best you can be to your parents, for example, which is the ISP we're talking about, then, well, somebody can lie to themselves as well, this is the best I can do. Right? Because every person can come up with their own definition of what their best is, right? And then really not not really push
themselves further and create a life for themselves and say, Well, you know, this is what this is the most I can do. Well have we really questioned ourselves and that's why ally, you know, Incorporated perhaps this ayah before moving on to the next teaching. He says my book on Allah will be Mafi, new fusi come, your master knows better what's going on inside of yourselves. Whether you're making an excuse for yourself, what's really going on with your life? What's really going on with your heart, what you're really capable of deep inside yourselves. Allah knows you better than you know you. So he says you you can make excuses to others. You can even lie to yourself. You can't
lie to me. Right and people can actually even lie to themselves looking straight in the mirror.
They can lie to themselves. But you can't lie to Allah. So Allah movie mafia fusi come in another place in the Quran, he says mulatos aku. And Masako, don't declare, declare yourselves righteous, don't be self righteous. It also means don't assume that your pure like you don't need this instruction. That's for other people, they have this problem. Thank god he's giving this talk or this reminder about desire. I know somebody who really needs it, he like you're immune from it. It's everybody else who really needs it. Because your hands are clean up and he says don't clean don't don't assume yourselves to be pure. Who you know who Allah will be Bennett Taka, he knows better,
who has a car who doesn't. So don't, don't, you know, wash your hands off of instructions as if it doesn't apply to me. And we've developed this kind of, unfortunately, a subconscious mentality that when we hear something being talked about from Allah's book, in our mind, immediately we have somebody in mind that could really use this. Man, I wish they knew. Like, it can't be us, because what we're good at the fact that we're listening means we're only listening so we can have somebody else Listen, but not for ourselves, right? So he says, Your master knows what what is really going on inside of yourself, and he knows it better, well, boom. And then we'll be mfine foresee comm in
Turku, salhan if in fact you are good, if in fact, you are righteous, if you are doing the right thing, he knows that better than you do. So don't don't give that sticker and that award to yourself. He's the one that's going to give that to you. And then he says for in nahu, candelilla babina fora and for those people who actually take a deep look at themselves, you know, ABA means to come back. So those who come back to themselves, take an honest look at themselves and then turn back to a lie and say, Yeah, no, you're right, I could be doing better. And they have that honest conversation with Allah. Allah says for people capable of doing that, and they do that over and over
a web is a it's a pattern in Arabic file. This is called signal to the mobile as you know, the donor attacker or you know, they say hubbas for the baker because he makes bread over and over again. They save Casals for the butcher because he cuts over and over again. Okay, Allah name is Wahab because he gives gifts over and over again allesandro name is Rafa because he forgives over and over again here Allah says describing us if we are to make our way to his forgiveness he says for India who can handle a wa Bina
same pattern What that means is people who check themselves and then again check themselves and then check them check themselves it's not like when I checked myself like a month ago I'm good. This tune up is a daily thing actually every salon has that kind of inner who kinda lil Urbina hora so they the the the Take a good look at themselves and say what can I fix? They take a good look at themselves and say no, no, I could have done this better. I could have said this better. I could have, you know, I could have acted in this way better, I could have responded better, I could have reacted better, etc, etc. They're constantly checking themselves. And especially when it comes If
this occurs right after the mention of our parents. So especially when it comes to our parents, we need to keep checking ourselves and not sit back and say no, I'm dealing with them the way they deserve. There's it's something that needs revisiting over and over again, as per the the hint given in the for in the who candelilla webinar fura. Then he moves on to other relationships. So the first relationship was the parent relationship. Then he bunched all the other ones together. Okay, so he says, What RTL corba hepco. And he made the singular form, he says and you give those that have closeness, that literally means that the possessors of closeness are the closest the possessors of
the closest ties. What this simply means is the people closest to you in your life, which obviously means family, and some have included more than family to people that are just very, very close to you and your lover your closest friends. But it's obviously a circle that starts with blood, what will allow me Baboom olavi, babblin, Nikita, Bella people that are tied to each other by the bonds of the womb, our top priority in the book of Allah Allah says, so they are they come to each other, they have first rights over each other. So parents and children have already been addressed. You know, your parents have already been talked about now it's talking about your children. It's talking
about your siblings, it's talking about your uncles, etc, etc. Right? So those ties of blood, great grandparents, etc. Now we're dealing with them, and they'll call by then by extension includes the spouses, then it includes you know, the, you know, the close relatives, cousins, etc, etc. So the circle keeps getting wider and wider and wider. Right? And he says to all of them, he says, what are the zelkova hepco and give the one that possesses that kind of closest relationship to you give them their right now because it's singular. Some scholars, you know, argued that this may be talking to the prophets I saw them and it specifically telling him about his family, etc. But actually, if you
look at the beginning of the sola will call or this passage darbuka Allah tabula rasa, it was given to him but by extension to all of us. Right. So in the singular of it, what it suggests is, this is really important now when it comes to family relations. The way your brother is dealing with your uncle is not standard for this family. You know,
What we do, when we say, Well, my other three brothers are dealing with it this way, I got to deal with it this way too. So we come up with kind of a group approach, you know, a clan approach to dealing with certain relationships in the family. So if some members of the family said, we're not going to talk to that cousin anymore, or we're not going to talk to this uncle anymore, or this, this brother, or this sister is an outcast, etc, then because your team a, you're not going to go against the group, right? Because you're kind of tied in with them, it kind of becomes a mafia inside the family. Right. And the singular version is being used because you are responsible for
your own ties, your own type, I'll give you a complicated example. For instance, you have for example, divorces divorce is a very common phenomenon. It was something that happened in the time of the Prophet slice on them, and happened after that it's a reality of life. So when divorce happens, for example, sometimes it gets ugly, right. And sometimes kids are caught in between. and when kids are caught in between the the mother might tell her kids, well, he, he's no longer part of your life. So don't you know, and the kids have a resentment towards either the mother or the father, it can happen. And because they have a resentment towards the mother or father, they're not talking to
the mother or father. And then by extension, they're blocking their entire family too. Right? So you're not talking to your dad. And then you're not talking to your grandma or your grandpa or your uncle or your cousin. Nobody has the you know, cuz mom's mad at them. Well, that that has nothing to do with Mom, you have blood ties, right? And no matter what happens, your dad is still your dad, your mom is still your mom, and your mom will have whatever rights whatever your her ex husband thinks of her. And your dad will have whatever rights he has, no matter what the ex wife thinks of him, your the kids still owe these responsibilities and then to the extended family, the
grandparents, the cousins, etc, etc. Two people are no longer in a relationship. But the blood ties don't go anywhere. They don't go anywhere, and they all have rights. So he says, well, RTL Corbacho, give them the rights, give them the right. And that's it, meaning you're not doing them a favor. You didn't do some good deed by staying in touch or by by reaching out or by actually checking up on them and taking care of their needs if they have a need. That's not some extra good thing you did that was there right? Like Zakat is a right isn't it? Like prayers are right of the of Allah and the believer, it's exactly the same way. So having a family conflict, having a fight in the family. Last
time we got together for my answers this my you know, my cousin said this my dessert or now that cousin and everybody who's genetically connected to them, or on the block list, right? Because Oh, no, no, no, you don't remember what they said at the last wedding? What are you talking about? You You can't do that. You can address this situation, you still have to give them the right and then what what gets even worse is later on, you have these arguments, these fights and the people that you didn't like, or you had some argument with them or whatever, they're in a financial difficulty. So they're your family. But they're in trouble. They got they got hospitalized, they got a car
accident, they lost their job because of COVID-19 Something happened there like I would have given but that uncle you don't know what he said two years ago. So you're like deciding who's more worthy of your sadaqa based on your feelings towards them. Right? Well, people that are close to you in relationships, allow me these difficult people in your life, he decided that they should be your relationship. He didn't just put people that, you know, you get to on social media, you could say, Oh, I want to be this person's friend, this person, his friend, this person's friend, Allah didn't give you like a selection, I want this, I want this chacha, I want this Mambo. I want this Uncle, I
want this nephew, I want you don't get to pick, he picked those. Right, there is no friend request for those. There's no relative request. You know, they are who they are. And Allah made them challenging sometimes. But that doesn't take away their rights. Now, this is important. It's the wording is important when it came to parents unless I do your very, very best to listen higher above kind of standard because of what your parents have done for you. But what happens a lot of times in families is manipulation. That's just a fact. People become, you know, people become jealous of each other. People want to take advantage of somebody who's maybe become more successful in the family.
People want to use somebody to pit them against somebody else, play family politics, and that kind of thing. Right. And if you're naive, you can get caught up in that stuff and not even realize that you're part of a game that you're being used. You have to have your senses about you, you have to have common sense and know the situation for what it is. But at the same time, when you give them when they say what they have their rights, their rights are not decided by you. This is important now their rights are not decided by you. And their rights are not decided by them.
their rights are decided by a large soldier because your feelings towards them. You can maybe turn the valve up and give them some more rights. Or if you don't like them too much. You could turn the faucet down and give them less rights and they will say well, we have
The right to this to add this to you, maybe you give them an inch, they want the whole arm when you give them the arm they want.
So the end and the more they want, then now you're giving them what you needed to give to somebody else, right? Because sometimes people can become very demanding. And then the cover it they make it look like no, no, we're just asking, we're family. Of course, we're supposed to ask, of course, we're supposed to have that, right. So they'll create this definition of rights that came from them. So what I'm getting at is the rights of who has what rights did not come from them. Nor did it come from me, or you. It comes from Atlanta, Georgia. So and our scholars went into great depth to discuss things like this, to understand what are these rights, for example, financial rights, and
that's the context here actually, is financial rights. First and foremost, this is also important because, you know, a lot of times you have like a cousin or an uncle or whoever never calls you, or brother who never calls you says never, or never, never checks on you nothing. And all of a sudden, hey, I missed you, how you doing? And you know, there's a money conversation coming, you know, it already, you know, you're not gonna embarrass them and say, so how much is it this time? You're not gonna say that, but money conversation will come up, right? Or an A, it's okay, maybe they're in need, and it's not there to embarrass them. Because when somebody asks you for that, then that may
be a less gift to you, you have an opportunity to spend, because you're not spending on them. You're giving them a right if that is in fact, a need. But a lot of times, these kinds of conversations happen. Yeah, you know, we're going to this party, or we're going to this antique car, we're going to this walima and I needed like three new outfits. And I was wondering if you can help out with that. And
that's not a need. Nor is that a right. Yeah, but you know, I've already warned the other outfit, and people are gonna say they were the same. No, nobody cares. Nobody looks back at your wedding pictures from four years ago from other Lima. And then comparison says, Ah ha, gotcha, same outfit.
And even if they did, it didn't change your life at all. Nothing that you got, you lost nothing in your life. There was no value loss. You did not lose a limb. Your life was not a disaster, nothing came to an end, this was not a need. But in your world, this became a need and a right and you don't care about me and why don't you care about this family, you don't do anything for us, etc, etc. The guilt tripping will start on top of on top on top on top on top. And you say no, you got to take care of family Allah says take care of family I that's that's where the devil one because now you brought a lion to it. Hold on. That was a manipulation. And now you're gonna bring a lion to it. And
then people who want to use that and be manipulative will say yeah, you know, doesn't unless he has to take care of family, aren't you? Like, don't you have like a beard or something? Would you work a job or something? You should know that right? So they're gonna use religious sacred words, to get what they want from you to guilt you and rope you into something, but it's not there, right like that. But on the other hand, we're supposed to be keep an eye on our family, check on our family, and know if someone's in need to the point where they won't have to ask. Right? That's actually how it's supposed to be. If the Sunnah of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is that, you know,
the, you know, we have done less than our duty, if the neighbors are going hungry. Well, neighbors aren't going to come and tell you they're going hungry. You got to keep an eye on them. Right? And if that's the, that's a conversation about neighbors. Now, what's the conversation about? You know, the, the, the, the the relatives? In Soto Baqarah Allah talks about people that are giant, giant means can control their emotions means ignorant and it's a derogatory term. Ally's not talking about people that he likes when he talks about Jonathan, and he talks about people that are Jacqueline one of their descriptions. Yeah, so booja Hello, Nia Amina. lyase aluna, NASA will have the giant person
the ignorant, the oblivious, the one who's, you know, emotionally read, you know, turbulent, they assume that this person has no need at all they're doing okay.
You know, like, they don't they don't they see the distress on their face. Now they're okay, they still have clothes on their back. And they came in a car,
at least still has three wheels. So it's they're still good. Good. You know, he says, last alula NASA will have those people are dignified. They're not going to wrap themselves like a blanket on your legs and ask for money. And that's why you think they're okay. Right? So that's not okay. Either that you're so oblivious about people that are not doing okay in your family are close to you especially. And you're just so lost in your own, that you don't realize how bad things are getting for them. Like if you know already someone's you know, single parent or they lost their job or they had health issues or whatever. And you knew about that? Well, it's not a bad idea to just go check
on them. Just give them a call. Just kind of find out what's going on. You know, the end on the other side are people that are doing well, but they'd like to be doing better. And then call that writes. That's not what this is about. This
is actually the federal hajah. But by degree of what is absolutely necessary, and that is a right that our our families have have over us and the close people close to us halfway have over us. So he says, Give those of the closest relation there, right? Then he says, Well, miskeen, and then after that, after you've kind of taken stock of your family, then comes the miski. miskeen means people who can't help themselves, and they can't get out of a difficult situation. masaka and, you know, the second act together becomes miskeen. And that's people like, you know, people that get paralyzed, or people that are stuck in a, you know, in a health situation where they can no longer
work, you know, and they can't get out of that situation. So it's different from poor person is helpless. miskeen is kind of like a helpless person, they're in a desperate situation. Now, the thing about miskeen is we have, you know, 100 ally in the Muslim community, and even outside of the faith, we have charity organizations that will tell you about people that are doing desperately and they're, they're in a dire situation, and etc. And, you know, we might even show, you know, videos of their desperation and things like that, I personally think it's completely not okay to show the desperation of other human beings, because we wouldn't want that on display for ourselves, or our
children or our parents are, you know, we wouldn't want them to have a video of, you know, our kids putting their hand out on the street like this, you know, just so there has to be some degree of balance between the fulfilling of needs, and the Muslim oma has to realize we don't have to see those images to become charitable.
Right, it's not okay, for until we see something so disturbing, then we decide to give, we can be told about it, and we should be able to give, right, we don't have to have seen that graphic image before we can, you know, be compelled to give charity. But still, the point remains that Allah mentioned giving of the miskeen second, right, you know why? Because giving strangers is a lot easier, giving family your feelings get in the way in Santa want to give family, I'll give lots to the orphanage. I'll give way more to this, this charity relief work and they needed way more, etc. And part of that is you are charitable, and part of that is there's no emotional strings attached.
There's no grudges, there's no nothing. So it's easier to give. Allah said, No, I want you to fight your ego and your pride and your graduates and your family first, and then extend the circle will miskeen and then extend this and those who can help themselves, right and then extend the circle when necessary. And this is actually a pretty profound teaching, it's mentioned in several places in the Quran, and I'll highlight this, you know, quickly and then inshallah probably discuss the rest of this item, or the the matters of this ayah I was gonna say 2526 27, I'll probably leave off in the middle of 26 and then finish up with 27. inshallah, Allah next week. But what I do want to get
across to you before I let go, is you shouldn't have to get to the point where family has to come and ask you if you had good relations with family, you know, when something's wrong, right, you know, on your own, the same way a miskeen in your community, someone who can't help themselves. The entire purpose of the masjid was not a place to congregate and come to prayer only the mustard for the prophets I saw them was a place where people would come the they can't find work, or they have an issue or they need to talk to somebody, they have a problem. Whatever issue was going on with them. There was such a closeness in the people who pray together, that they knew each other, they
know each other's families. Right now we we the only thing we know is the only the only close relationship we have in the machines now is where I left my shoes on the shoe rack. Right? That's It's a race to the finish line. You know, in accounting, they say life All right, lastin first out, right so that that's that's what our machines have become. But the machine was supposed to be a place where you get to know people around you, you build a circle of friends. And then when you do that, then you can tell when someone's stuck in a bind. And they don't have to come and ask you you can tell yourself and then when you have such a tight knit community, then comes wellness Sabine,
the literal translation is the son of the path. Well, that's not what that literally means. It means someone who's been on the road travelers, travelers that have been on the road for a while. Okay? So it's not Mousavi. Mousavi just means traveler, even though submit evidence become a label, meaning they haven't been able to settle down anywhere, so they keep moving along. Right? And when you're when your tight knit community, you see an outsider and you see they're not doing okay, you can tell immediately.
Right and if you but if you everybody in your community, you've been coming to the same machine for years, and they're all strangers to you still. Right? There you still don't you say Salaam Alaikum just to get to your line to get the sandwich that's being sold outside. That's it. You don't know anything else, then you're not going to know who's new in the community who might need help, or who looks like they're not doing okay. Right? And so that oneness Seville all of this was actually we were not meant to be an isolated people. We're actually meant to have a sense of community, or we're meant to have a sense First of all, a family of larger family.
And then we're supposed to have a sense of our neighborhood, and people in our community. And that's what does severely. And then he adds well at about a third of the era, and that's in shallow and one meaning of a lot of budget a village, don't spend wastefully. But we'll dig into that in shallow Thailand next week. So that's, that's still still part of this idea. But there are other implications of what are also the the crux of this whole. But what I wanted to get at is that the rights that people have over us Don't go away, regardless of our feelings, they don't go away. And those rights cannot be manipulated, we have to give them but we can't have them be manipulated
either. So we have to find that balance in between those two extremes, either not giving them their rights, or giving them more than more than their rights and getting used. So you have you've got to find that balance in between. That is what allows that which is, you know, giving to us here, and then allows the will is telling us that when when we're able to do that with our family, then it is only when you have strong family ties, that naturally what you get is strong communities. And you can see that today, people have family issues and family rifts. And by natural extension, there are major fights in communities. There's no unity inside communities. There's fragmentation, and people
don't know each other people come into the machine, they feel like nobody cares about me. Nobody even asked nobody even you know, smiles upon me to make me feel welcome. In fact, I feel unwelcome when I go to the to my community, right, that's a very common sentiment, well, it's an extension of what's going on in families. If you can't even care for people in your family, then the outside is a few degrees off from there, right. So you're not going to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling that you're supposed to feel. So this is the kind of thing that needs to get fostered. But it won't happen if we don't take a last word seriously. So here we started from parents. And now we're coming down towards
how to create a loving and merciful in a true sense of brotherhood inside of a community melasma which will give us all that and bless us with that, you know, in this time of isolation, when we're not congregating as communities. And the only sense of community we have is virtual, that maybe this is a time to better family ties.
Maybe it's maybe it's time we look within and see where we can make things better within the connections we have to our family and realize that we can close the gaps that are in families and remove the ill feelings that are inside of hearts and take assumptions and anger and resentment and you know, all of those feelings away and help people become helped us become better to our families and they become better towards us and to give the proper rights and not become not become ones that that are a source of wronging each other barakallahu li walakum Falco and Hakeem whenever any er can be King
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