Nouman Ali Khan – Abuse of Women

Nouman Ali Khan
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the history and use of the "has been" label, including the "has been" label used by men and women to avoid false accusations. They also discuss the "has been" label used by men to avoid false accusations and the "has been" label used by men to avoid false accusations. The speakers emphasize the importance of understanding the "entire student" label and avoiding extreme behavior in public. They also discuss the "has been" label used in various context, including divorce and inheritance, and the "has been" label used by men to avoid false accusations. Finally, they emphasize the importance of avoiding fear and social mis ambassadorment, and offer advice on how to avoid them.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:10 --> 00:00:15

hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Mia even Muslim Allah Allah He was happy.

00:00:17 --> 00:00:18

So mama died.

00:00:19 --> 00:00:21

regime. Rahim

00:00:23 --> 00:00:48

Allah Allah, Allah Allah Allah, Allah Allah, Allah, Allah and fakuma Annamalai him for salejaw to kanita two and a half ivatan linhai BB Maha Viva La we're lucky to have Fulani shoes ohana. ohana. ohana, Phil mobogenie watery buena farinata consolata boo La Nina Sevilla in de la cara Lee and can be a lot rubbish everywhere silly Emery. Dr. Melissa Nia Coco Lee amenable Allah means

00:00:50 --> 00:00:51

Salaam Alaikum mercato.

00:00:54 --> 00:00:56

We are going to talk about hitting women.

00:00:58 --> 00:00:59

In sha Allah. Yeah.

00:01:00 --> 00:01:05

Hitting women. Yeah. Oh, okay.

00:01:07 --> 00:01:45

So, I want to start by saying that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a very well known and Sahih Hadith narration says lotta uima Allah Do not hit the female slaves of Allah. That's the declared policy of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That is the Sunnah policy, do not hit the female slaves of Allah now, which woman is not the female slave of Allah, none of them all human beings are the slaves of Allah. So don't hate women is basically what Allah said, or what the messenger said I saw Salaam but the rate the way he used the language that totally blew him up Allah. It's a very interesting bit of language because as opposed to saying lots of ribbon Nisa

00:01:46 --> 00:02:00

lots of reboot and this ha don't hate women. He said don't hit the slaves of Allah, the female slaves of Allah Allah, what difference does it make? At the end of the day? It's women. Well, the end of the day if you're hitting a slave,

00:02:01 --> 00:02:23

like if I hit somebody else's slave, I'll get in trouble with who? The master. Wait, who are you to hit him? That's his sleeve. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. The fact that he attributed their slavery to Allah actually makes it a problem for someone to hit women because now they are going to have to deal with a lot of oil. But that still doesn't answer the question that the Quran says hit them.

00:02:24 --> 00:02:26

Which a lot of people have a lot of problem with.

00:02:27 --> 00:02:43

But please understand, I don't understand this idea. How come Alyssa has hit them and then that can hurt. But it could be a miswak or toothpaste or I don't know what like you hit them lightly or just so long as it doesn't leave a mark or this other all this discussion about, you know,

00:02:44 --> 00:02:52

how hard you can hit or how soft you can hit that's the conversation of it. But I actually want to talk about how the Quran deals with the subject.

00:02:53 --> 00:03:37

And the first thing I want to tell you is a lies that we didn't talks about how people ignore or overlook, or even bury some parts of the book. If I took me noona without them kitabi will attack foreign eyebrow. Do you believe in parts of the book and disbelieve in other parts also means Do you believe in parts of the book and very other parts, very other parts. And levena joggle Khurana is in they took the car and broke it they broke it tore it into pieces. So people like to look at part of the Quran and not look at other parts and that is an injustice to the Quran. A surah I keep telling you guys a sutra is a unified speech of Allah. It's one whole you cannot take an iron out of a sutra

00:03:37 --> 00:03:53

and say that I understand it without understanding fully what's going on in the rest of the surah like yes i odd came at particular occasions. But Allah completes our understanding when the entire soul is revealed and unified as a whole. This is a laws organization, is how Allah organized his speech.

00:03:54 --> 00:04:00

But even a bigger crime than that is when people don't even look at the entire Ayah

00:04:01 --> 00:04:03

forget I'm not going to look at the sutra

00:04:04 --> 00:04:14

I'm not even going to look at the entire Ayah the ayah I recited to you is one ayah originally Luca Muna Allah Nisha Allahu Baba whom Allah

00:04:16 --> 00:04:29

Allah him for salejaw to Connie Tottenham la BB Muhammad Allahu Allah Tito Hakuna news una una voz una llamada de una for in Atlanta comfortable Elena Sevilla in a la casa de en Kabira is one ayah

00:04:31 --> 00:04:32

that's one

00:04:33 --> 00:04:35

part of it is what reboot, hit them.

00:04:37 --> 00:04:39

What's the only part people talk about?

00:04:40 --> 00:04:41

Hit them.

00:04:43 --> 00:04:46

If you don't understand the rest of the ayah you can't make sense of what the lie saying.

00:04:48 --> 00:04:52

I am number 34 so to Nyssa the suit of women.

00:04:53 --> 00:04:59

So today inshallah, what I want to share with you is some basic background to help us make sense of

00:05:00 --> 00:05:04

This ayah, which is supposed to be really controversial, people have a lot of problem with it.

00:05:05 --> 00:05:27

You know, women that say, you know, I believe in Islam, but you know, the one thing that really shatters my faith is this ayah it really messes me up. I don't blame you. Because the ayah has been abused by non Muslims to make attacks against Islam. And the ayah has been abused by Muslims in using it's misunderstanding themselves and abusing women through the ayah. Doing fallen through the ayah.

00:05:28 --> 00:05:34

So what I want to start with, first of all, you have to consider the entire student Remember that? Okay, let's talk about that.

00:05:35 --> 00:05:39

A lot in the beginning talks about one of the other favorite subjects of women polygamy.

00:05:40 --> 00:05:41


00:05:42 --> 00:05:43

That's in this era to

00:05:44 --> 00:05:49

you know, this surah is called saluton Nyssa. And if there's one sutra that women have a lot of issues with,

00:05:51 --> 00:05:52

so the desert

00:05:53 --> 00:06:00

but what I want to bring up is and I'm not going to talk about polygamy today, relax. Okay, guys, we're like Finally, you know,

00:06:01 --> 00:06:07

something I could stay awake to No, no, no. But I will say this, how did a lot of talk about polygamy?

00:06:08 --> 00:06:12

The way Allah talks about it is that a man can marry for women. That's how we talk about it.

00:06:13 --> 00:06:19

The way I talked about it is if you have you know, girls, orphans in your home,

00:06:20 --> 00:06:40

you know, we're in Allah tuxedo. philia Tama Frankie Houma. tabela covenant Nisa mastaba hula Saba, if you're afraid you won't be able to do justice among the orphan girls, then you can marry one or two each three each or for each. So the scenario is somebody is raising women in their house that were orphans.

00:06:41 --> 00:07:08

2345 and he in order to make sure that the relationship is legitimate, can marry up to how many? Okay, this is a normal situation. Somebody's raising orphan girls up to women. Is that a common situation? No. Even that the extraction from it as mentioned later on in social Azov, actually, okay. But the way the law was introduced was through a very unusual situation is that much clear.

00:07:09 --> 00:07:46

Then the law talks about inheritance which happens at the time of death is death an everyday thing or a very unusual case in a family are usually once a once in a lifetime thing. Somebody's father passes away somebody's mother passes away, the husband passes away. This is not something that happens every day, not in a family's life. So the rare situation of divorce or not of divorce of death, and then how inheritance should be distributed. Then Allah talks about the strangest thing he says hurry matar Lake Como mahato como para Tacoma holla Tacoma Moto, oh, my goodness, your mothers, your daughters, your aunt's your, you know, your nieces, etc. They're haraam for you to marry.

00:07:48 --> 00:07:55

Why would you even say that? He says that because there are extreme rare, crazy cases where somebody has psychological problems.

00:07:56 --> 00:08:20

And the crowd has to deal with protecting society. And so to do that, I described how it deals with the most extreme fringes of society, a lot has to deal with the extreme circumstances because that craziness might exist. You and I read that and say, why would I ever even have that problem? You can't marry your sister, you can marry your aunt, you can't marry your mother. I wouldn't even say that. He would say that, because there are people who have those kinds of issues.

00:08:22 --> 00:08:25

And they do. And of course, you know, if you've been reading Freud your whole life, then

00:08:26 --> 00:09:03

it's not that far fetched. You know. So what I'm trying to tell you, is from beginning to end, when the laws are mentioned, and sort of bizarre, the laws are on the outside periphery of society. They are the unusual cases, they are the rare circumstances. That is actually the standard of the IRF. shadie are pretty much it's not dealing with everyday things, is dealing with extreme things. And by the way, most criminal law for instance, criminal law in particular, it doesn't deal with what most people need to do, it deals with what you need to do with criminals, you understand. Now, coming back to this,

00:09:04 --> 00:09:12

if you study the entire sutra, you will find that because not normal situations are talked about in that light in that context, this ayah is not talking about what

00:09:13 --> 00:09:34

a normal circumstance, a normal, it's not. So we need to understand what circumstance is talking about. Before I go any further, I'm not interested in apologizing for the Quran. I'm not interested in interpreting it creatively, to make certain groups happy. If sisters are happy with what I have to say, awesome, if they're not happy with I have to say, awesome.

00:09:36 --> 00:09:54

Because you are female slaves of Allah, but I and we are slaves of Allah and we have to be loyal to the book of Allah, whether it's somebody happy or not. And some people are very happy with what you have to say. And some people we're going to be upset no matter what you say, and you can't do anything about that. What we can do is be as honest as we can be to the book of Allah, that's it.

00:09:55 --> 00:09:59

And to our and I'm not saying I have the perfect understanding. I don't claim that I'm sharing with you

00:10:00 --> 00:10:09

To the best of my understanding what I've arrived at and what I'm most convinced of. So here's how it goes. Men are caretakers of women of color Mona Lisa.

00:10:10 --> 00:10:22

Men are caretakers over women. Okay? Some have people, some people have looked at the word column and have assumed this to mean men are authorities over women. The problem is the word kohan has nothing to do with authority.

00:10:23 --> 00:10:39

The word column actually has to do with maintenance and taking care of something. It is the same origin from which we get the word I look at him the name of Allah, who takes care of all creation, the one who maintains all creation, Allahu La Ilaha Illa. What are you, man or maintainers over women?

00:10:41 --> 00:11:15

They take care of women, they maintain their protection, they maintain their dignity. Now who's been given the responsibility in this aisle? Men have men have men have been made responsible over women in that they have to take care of them. So who's the beneficiary? Women are the beneficiary in this ayah be my football Allahu bah, bah bah. Listen carefully, based on a law having preferred some over others. The translation I'm offering to you is based on a law having preferred some over others. Now.

00:11:17 --> 00:11:24

The thing is, that this the Allah did not save him football Allah home la hinda.

00:11:26 --> 00:11:46

If you say La hinda tele means Allah preferred them over them, meaning those men over those women. When you say bah, bah bah bah bah, it actually only translates into some over others. It does not say, leave me morphettville Allahu Akbar ricciarelli. Our original Allah Nisa

00:11:48 --> 00:12:10

has to say that some over others what in the world does that mean? It actually means that Allah gave preference to women in the case that they receive benefits. They don't have to take care. They don't have to provide. Why? Because Allah gave them the benefit that they don't have to provide. Allah gave men certain advantages. And it seems in this beginning of this ayah actually Allah has given an advantage to who?

00:12:11 --> 00:12:31

Women now Okay, maybe you're not convinced. So let's see why. We can look further and find what and by the way, some things men have been given an advantage. And since we're talking about advantage, allies saying By the way, some of them have been given preference over others in some things, men have a preference in other things. Women have a preference.

00:12:32 --> 00:12:57

But some but there's an eye on the Quran. There's an eye on the Quran where men have a degree over women, Lindsey jolly Allah Hinata Raja Allah says it. Men have de Raja Raja means what? A decree. Allah Hina lucija de la Hinata Raja men have a degree over them no hint now you guys know now Arabic students what is it?

00:12:59 --> 00:13:07

Those women, men have a degree over those who will not listen to this. When you reach Allah Allah Nisa, Raja.

00:13:08 --> 00:13:19

If you say well, originally, Allah Nisa, Raja, that means men have a degree over women. But if you say well, originally Allah Hinata Raja, which is what Allah says,

00:13:20 --> 00:13:27

men have a degree over them. He didn't say women he said them but you asked what difference does it make?

00:13:29 --> 00:13:37

The difference is when you say them, then you're using a pronoun. When you use a pronoun, it can only be used about the one you already spoke about.

00:13:38 --> 00:13:55

For example, the sisters came to class early. They were doing review when I say they were doing review, who am I talking about all women? Who am I talking about? The sisters I just mentioned, isn't it in the eye where Allah says By the way, that's also part of an eye and not the entire idea

00:13:57 --> 00:14:01

that they have a degree over them as part of an eye or not the entire idea what a lot of people love doing

00:14:02 --> 00:14:05

piece of the ayah which is an injustice to the Quran.

00:14:06 --> 00:14:14

In that ayah what happens? Husband and wife are getting divorced what Allah caught women that have been divorced. She's carrying a child.

00:14:15 --> 00:14:17

husband doesn't know she's pregnant.

00:14:18 --> 00:14:21

He divorces her she's so angry at him. She doesn't tell him she has his baby.

00:14:23 --> 00:14:25

She doesn't want to tell him unless as you have to tell him

00:14:26 --> 00:14:29

Allah says to the woman you cannot hide well I

00:14:30 --> 00:14:32

don't know mahalo calm. Amina

00:14:33 --> 00:14:56

is not allowed for them to hide what Allah put created in their in their room. They can't hide it. And also once he gives divorce, he can ask her to take it back because the divorce polacco barnatan. revocable reversible divorce happens twice the third time it's irreversible. You guys know this. So within the first or second time he has the right to say no, let's just come back. She can say no, I'm coming back. forget you.

00:14:58 --> 00:15:00

She can't do that for how many

00:15:00 --> 00:15:03

times, two times Allah gave who the advantage.

00:15:04 --> 00:15:07

Allah gave men the advantage over divorced women

00:15:09 --> 00:15:13

in this ayah and he says for men there is an advantage over them.

00:15:14 --> 00:15:51

Is he saying men have advantage over women all women? That's not the ayah the ayah is about women that have been divorced. The women that have been divorced we do the exact same thing a woman's testimony is half that of a men need the exact same exactly the same thing. We get this from an IF social Bukhara also you know for Islamia, coonara they need autonomy, memento, Nabina Shahada. If you can't find two men and find a man and what, two women why because women forget a lot until they left their home alpha to tequila home Aloha, you may have heard this before. If they if one forgets the other can reminder.

00:15:52 --> 00:15:54

First of all, that's not even the translation until the lotto deal

00:15:56 --> 00:16:16

means confusion. And this yon nesea means what? To forget and a lot of us who don't I just respectfully disagree. They say a Bala will be mad and this young boy lol here means forgetfulness. misguidance or confusion here means forgetfulness, I would argue the Quran is making a difference between those two words Unless the Lord

00:16:17 --> 00:16:26

Allah does not get confused. And Allah does not forget, Allah put those two words together. Because when you put two words together, the point is they can't be the same.

00:16:27 --> 00:16:31

So Allah Himself is making balandis yon different

00:16:32 --> 00:17:09

so in that ayah is actually about the confusion of women who are not familiar with business contracts. So at least two of them are there, as they're listening to all the clauses of the business contract being discussed, one of them gets lost, the other can help her out. That's that context. But now let's come back to this higher in this ayah there is some have been given preference over others. Now, first will be Martin Falco Minam, Wiley him, and because of what they have to spend from their money, now you could think of they have a degree over them because they have to spend Yes, in some things. They have a degree they have, they have authority in the home,

00:17:09 --> 00:17:16

they're the meat of the house. But as a matter of fact, they have an advantage because Allah says they're the ones that have to spend, women don't have to spend.

00:17:17 --> 00:17:54

She doesn't have to spend from her savings. She doesn't have to spend from her income he has to spend. So who's got the advantage? In some sense, in some authority or in some decision making men have an advantage but in actually taking care of the finance or being being a recipient of the finances, and a beneficiary. The woman has the advantage he's not doing her a favor by taking care of her ultimatum column. He's doing his job. You know, Obi Wan Falco, meanwhile him. Now he says Now that you have been in by the way, this is what Allah does. Whenever he gives someone an advantage. Every time you give someone an advantage, he immediately talks about their responsibilities.

00:17:55 --> 00:18:20

Something Allah does all the time. As soon as he talks about your rights. He'll talk about your work responsibilities, because then what happens is people become obsessed with their rights and they forego their responsibilities. So it seems women have been given some rights here. They have to be taken care of. They have to be spent on Yeah, by the men. They're doing all the work right now. They're doing the caretaking and they're doing the spending.

00:18:21 --> 00:18:52

So that what are the responsibilities of women for Sally had good women carnita when they're subservient, some argue subservient to a law because kulu only comes with a law. But it also in being subservient to a law, they're also being subservient reasonably to their husbands. In other words, they listen, listen to their husbands, and their husbands asking them not to go out late at night, they listen, if they're saying if he's saying, you know, maybe you should, you shouldn't go with these people. I don't like that group, or I don't like the way they have their gatherings, etc. She should listen to that. She should listen to her. She shouldn't just say Where's your Hadeeth?

00:18:54 --> 00:19:11

Where's she, you know, husband and wife can have a conversation. He could say, you know, you got that job offer but you know, it's a very long commute. You're not going to get home until midnight every day. Maybe we should look for another job. And she's but I really liked that job and maybe you should discuss it but you should take his advice more seriously. This is something this is part of gooooood

00:19:12 --> 00:19:16

but then there's also by the way, and it also means a willingness to obey.

00:19:17 --> 00:19:51

Some argue some of us would argue it's primarily willingness to obey to Allah you know go moolah, he can he can and that's a pretty strong evidence because qumola he carnitine This is grammar I haven't taught you yet. There's a tech demon it only for the sake of Allah stand with coo note only for the sake of Allah in other words, Knute subservience willingness to obey essentially only exist for Allah so then they argue that Connie that here they should be in obedience to who Allah there seems to be another evidence for that which is in the eye a half a lot of little baby boomer hafizullah.

00:19:52 --> 00:19:59

They guard the unseen on account of what Allah wanted guarded or what Allah guarded. Now what does that mean? They guard the unseen

00:20:00 --> 00:20:40

Or they are guardians of the unseen and what Allah God, it means a few things, I'll share the primary meaning and some secondary meanings with you. The primary meaning is that women are in the unseen of the of their homes, they're in the privacy of their homes, when that when the man is out to work. And much of the time, what she does is she knows the conversations she has she knows her friends know, nobody else knows that husband doesn't know. And the biggest thing that she's guarding is the dignity and the trust of her husband, she's guarding the respect of that entire household. So if she is loyal to her husband, she's not you know, flirting with other men by other law or having

00:20:40 --> 00:21:20

an affair this and that she's guarding the unseen. She's not allowing some men to come into the house, or worse, she's not doing any of that, then she's guarding the unseen is that much clear? That's the primary meaning here that they are loyal wives, they're loyal to their men, they're loyal to their husbands. Okay? The second meaning is actually that women, Ally's describing a quality of them some amount of love. I've actually commented on this, saying that women actually have much more concern for the unseen than men do. Not in the money sense. But even in the money sense sometimes. But actually, in just general generally, as a psychological thing. For example, you're about to buy

00:21:20 --> 00:21:21

a car as a family.

00:21:22 --> 00:21:25

The husband goes sits in the car, wrong.

00:21:26 --> 00:21:27

All right, let's do it.

00:21:28 --> 00:21:30

The wife sitting next to him says, Wait,

00:21:31 --> 00:21:33

can we can we talk about this?

00:21:34 --> 00:21:35

What about

00:21:36 --> 00:21:38

and there's a hesitation?

00:21:39 --> 00:21:40

The house the man wants to do what?

00:21:42 --> 00:21:43

Let's just do it.

00:21:44 --> 00:21:53

And the woman says what? No, no, no, we can we Okay, let's look at some other options. Or can we think about this? Do we really need it? And he gets upset?

00:21:54 --> 00:21:59

What do we really need it? I already discussed this with you. We really need it. I really need it. I really need this one.

00:22:02 --> 00:22:14

When you're about to buy a house, who has the major reluctance? The woman is really sure about this one. That was like, Well, look, we've seen 30 homes, I'm tired. Well, we're getting this one. We're done. The guy who's ready to buy the first one.

00:22:17 --> 00:22:36

Because the woman says what about the future? What about we don't know any everything about the neighbors we don't know this, we don't know this, we don't know this, she gets worried about a lot of the unknown, the things that are in the unseen, and she wants to protect what is in the unseen, and the husband wants to jump in, we'll deal with it later.

00:22:37 --> 00:22:43

And actually, this is how men and women balance each other. One of the ways they balance each other is he just wants to jump into everything and she wants to watch

00:22:44 --> 00:22:52

pulling back a little bit. And that's how they balance each other out. If you just leave it to women, then you're not going to get anywhere because you're just gonna I'm not sure.

00:22:53 --> 00:23:19

I'm not if you just leave it to men, you're gonna end up in a lot of bad situations. You need the both of them to balance each other out. Is that understandable? That's half a lot on little time. They guard what they can't see the protective of things. They're more reluctant. They have that reluctance, you know, they operate differently. But anyway, that's the primary meaning was what loyalty, right and the second that reluctance of unknown factors, then,

00:23:21 --> 00:24:03

now that Allah says this, the rest of it is about husbands who have are afraid of a problem with their wife. This is where the juicy part begins. Well knotty and those women that Hakuna Lucia who know that you are afraid of their uprising, Nashua or new shoes is actually uprising when something jumps up like water boils out. That's called New shoes to Okay. Now, new shoes if you're afraid of their uprising, new shoes, a Honda Honda filet. Okay, the Hakuna by the way I'm Takapuna present tense. Yeah, those women whose apprising you are afraid of the first question that arises. There's a number of questions. The first one that arises is, what is it man ever afraid?

00:24:05 --> 00:24:08

I mean, unless his wife works out and she's, you know, like,

00:24:09 --> 00:24:13

normally when is a husband afraid that the wife is not going to listen to something?

00:24:15 --> 00:24:37

Like, if husbands are such authorities, then when the wife doesn't listen, they get upset, they get angry, they get depressed, they get sad, but they don't get what is fear is a strange word here. It's throwing a wrench into this problem because we don't associate the disobedience of a woman. Men don't associate the disobedience of a woman with fear.

00:24:39 --> 00:24:42

You know, I'm afraid to ask her if she made dinner. I'm not cooking dinner.

00:24:43 --> 00:24:45

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

00:24:48 --> 00:24:56

That's not gonna happen. That's not realistic. That's not realistic. So the first question is why is fear being used here? The Hakuna

00:24:58 --> 00:24:59

the second real question.

00:25:00 --> 00:25:09

It's actually use of the word new shoes. What does new shoes What does uprising mean? Is uprising that I asked her to put three teaspoons of sugar she put two

00:25:12 --> 00:25:16

because she's supposed to hit if they have no shoes that's what the eye is gonna say apparently to some people

00:25:18 --> 00:25:43

you know what is surprising me? Now the thing is there's no clear outside evidence. What news means outside evidence? When you don't have clear outside evidence, actually you shouldn't even go to outside evidence until you've done exhausting exhausting What? inside of it Quranic evidence, the evidence of his own words, he calls them I often be not, after all, clear, self evident iaat

00:25:44 --> 00:26:06

in this ayah on the one hand, there are good women. How are they described? righteous, they do good deeds, they're subservient. They guard the unseen three qualities. Yes. The third and the climactic quality was what? They guard the unseen, which primarily means they're loyal to their husbands. Now, let me tell you, if there's one thing your husband might get scared of,

00:26:08 --> 00:26:11

is that she's thinking about someone else.

00:26:12 --> 00:26:16

scares the life out of him. scares the life out of him.

00:26:17 --> 00:26:31

If you're afraid of an uprising, in terms of the loyalty of your spouses, where are we getting this from? From the AI itself? Because the loyalty of the spouse is being now contrast it with her uprising?

00:26:33 --> 00:27:03

Because the idea itself many out of the Quran What do you find in a cause Allah will mention something and contrast it with something else. Then he'll mentioned something and he'll contrast it with something else. What is he contrasting them with? Their higher is now telling into facia their, their shame is turning into shamelessness. And by the way, when they're shame the women their ultimate, like you know, when when they came to give back to the prophets, I send them like a strip now Elias Nina immediate, they're not going to steal, they're not going to do Xena.

00:27:04 --> 00:27:10

Like who comes to the Prophet site setup, they should you know, they first said, we're not going to do Schick, we won't steal him He won't do Xena.

00:27:11 --> 00:27:24

Why, because that's actually something that's terrifying to the husbands. That's a terrifying thought. It's the most painful thing. You know, the prophets, I seldom would describe it as the closest thing in this dunya to jahannam for men,

00:27:25 --> 00:27:36

which helps you understand why fear is being used, because we're afraid of jahannam. Right. Now, if you understand it in that context, then you understand one more thing. He doesn't have evidence

00:27:37 --> 00:27:52

in this ayah he does not have evidence, the art of pseudo nor his evidence. He's witness and he testifies against the spouse here instead of having evidence All he has is fear. He's got fear that they have an uprising.

00:27:53 --> 00:28:04

Which means should he testify against her accused her? No. But should he bring up his concern? Yeah, so he brings up his concern in what language for evil Honda council them.

00:28:05 --> 00:28:27

advise them. Listen, I don't like you're working too late. You're You know, you're doing too much overtime. And I don't know why you're texting, texting. Why is he texting you so much? I know you guys went to the same college. But why is he texting you? Why is he doing this? Why is he doing that? You know, I? I know. You think it's harmless, but I don't like it. He's nice to advisor.

00:28:28 --> 00:28:31

He can't accuse her of anything. We've already established that from

00:28:33 --> 00:28:40

nothing changes, he notices more things. What does he do? While Judo hoonah film Dodger, leaves them in the beds,

00:28:42 --> 00:28:51

Depart them from depart from them in the beds. Now a woman when a husband doesn't sleep in the same bed is supposed to be traumatized.

00:28:58 --> 00:29:04

It's supposed to be the worst punishment for a loving wife that the husband won't sleep in the same bed.

00:29:05 --> 00:29:12

He purposely goes and sleeps on the couch. he purposely goes and sleeps with the kids and leaves her in the bed alone is a form of torture.

00:29:14 --> 00:29:30

But he's so disgusted with her behavior. And he's noticing more and more things. She's dressing up more and more when she goes out. She's coming back home later and later and later. She's not giving him time and he's just disturbed by it. And he just can't get himself to lie down next to her.

00:29:31 --> 00:29:34

If there's any ounce of goodness left in her, What's she gonna do?

00:29:35 --> 00:29:37

She's gonna come over and say Come to bed.

00:29:38 --> 00:29:39

Why are you sleeping over there?

00:29:40 --> 00:29:43

she'd do that. And then they'll give them a chance to talk.

00:29:44 --> 00:29:47

But if she's okay with him sleeping away.

00:29:49 --> 00:29:52

If she's okay with that, and she says more room for me.

00:29:56 --> 00:30:00

Then she's already starting to get emotional.

00:30:00 --> 00:30:00


00:30:02 --> 00:30:05

she's comfortable with her man not being next to her.

00:30:06 --> 00:30:07

That's a very serious problem.

00:30:09 --> 00:30:11

Now he notices that she doesn't have a problem.

00:30:12 --> 00:30:35

I've been a month I've been in bed and I've been on the couch and she doesn't he didn't even want to get bothered by not once did she say why don't you come to bed that once and I advise her about those things, and those things are still continuing. And then he has fears are getting lesser worse. his fears are getting worse. And finally, he can't take it anymore.

00:30:36 --> 00:30:37

And he hits her.

00:30:38 --> 00:30:44

She was going out he saw the guy something something. Situation came and he actually what? How could you do this any hitter?

00:30:46 --> 00:30:46

Why did he hit her?

00:30:48 --> 00:30:50

The question is, why did he hit her? Because of?

00:30:53 --> 00:31:02

What's the context of it? Is the context. You didn't put enough sugar in the tea. She didn't put enough salt in the Nasi Lemak she didn't.

00:31:04 --> 00:31:12

You know, she did she she didn't finish the laundry. Or, you know, he told her to do them do the bills, and she didn't do the bills. Why did he hit her?

00:31:14 --> 00:31:24

It got out of hand to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He completely lost it. And he ended up what? hitting her over and over one time.

00:31:25 --> 00:31:33

Well, and by the way, if that happens, that happens. If this ayah was not there, imagine this hire was not there. And you had no problems.

00:31:34 --> 00:31:35

There was there was no

00:31:37 --> 00:31:42

any husband, any religion, any society, if they were in that situation, things would get ugly.

00:31:43 --> 00:31:47

At the very least he would grab her and say what are you doing woman? How can you do this to me.

00:31:48 --> 00:31:53

So if he's emotionally attached to her if she's the mother of his kids, if she's a family,

00:31:54 --> 00:32:02

and something will get out of hand. By the way, in the United States, when a boyfriend catches his girl cheating or text messages or whatever, what happens.

00:32:03 --> 00:32:04

They kill them.

00:32:05 --> 00:32:06

They call them crimes of passion.

00:32:07 --> 00:32:09

They call them crimes of passion.

00:32:10 --> 00:32:15

bones are broken hospitalizations, comas, murders,

00:32:16 --> 00:32:28

all in the name of crime of passion. You know what that means this urge of a man to protect his woman or to not be able to stand in fidelity is so powerful that it can drive a person to murder.

00:32:29 --> 00:32:41

Realistically speaking this aisle or not, that's the nature of a man. If he's completely given himself to this woman, and she does this to him, he's gonna lose it

00:32:42 --> 00:32:52

a lot. So just listen, give him the license to kill, or to injure or to murder. But he says if it if it got a hand and you let go of your hand, I'm gonna let you get away with that one.

00:32:54 --> 00:32:56

I'll let you get away. I'm sorry, I know it's not politically correct.

00:32:57 --> 00:33:02

I know. But alive speaking to the fifth floor of the human being Allah, Allah, Allah.

00:33:04 --> 00:33:27

He'll let him go. And then on top of that is the ethics of how the province of Islam would even condone hitting he never hit by the way, he never hit how he would that's that those are the subject matter of the final outcome. If they start obeying you. In other words, they leave their bad ways they leave the new shoes, they come back to you for Lata boo Alejandro sabella, then don't make a case against them.

00:33:29 --> 00:33:39

By the way, pursuing a case against someone pursuing a case against someone is actually used when you're going to go after them with the full extent of the law.

00:33:40 --> 00:34:19

Okay. Filatov, who Elena sebelah actually doesn't just mean, don't pursue a case against them in private life. Don't keep following them around until you find evidence. And then see if you can find you can be the witness to it. And then you can accuse them and then the other set of injunctions come into play, right, the ones about sort of the sort of note, don't do that if they start obeying you recover your trust, recover your trust, because you don't have explicit evidence, you can still restore this relationship for that taboo and a NASA villa in a la haka. And by the way, in the law kind of alien Kabira Oh my god, what an ending. No doubt Allah has always been the ultimately high.

00:34:20 --> 00:34:28

When a man is about to hit a woman and he thinks he's in a higher position, and the Lord reminds him by the end of the ayah, he is the ultimately high

00:34:29 --> 00:34:52

and he is the ultimately big kaviraj He's the ultimately great, no your place, you're still a slave. Then come back to the policy of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, la tawdry boo him Allah don't don't hit the female slaves of Allah. Now you understand that that policy is the general rule. And then Koran will give you the extreme circumstance of the exception.

00:34:53 --> 00:34:58

This is talking about the normal everyday or the exception. One of the Muslims done

00:34:59 --> 00:34:59

what have we done?

00:35:00 --> 00:35:11

With desire, we've done this, we've described this as a normal rule. It's not normal, not in the context of the IOD. Now, I'll tell you one more thing. And this will conclude with inshallah,

00:35:12 --> 00:35:49

the next step after this, if things got physical, that means it's gone too far. Now, there's no hope left, you need to just let it go for in crypto shikaka benei, Hema, if you really, really feel that kind of schism happening between the two of them, if you feel things might get to a point where they might even become physical, further, so hakama, minalima, hakama, minalima, then you should appoint a good decision maker from his family, and a good wise decision maker from her family, they can reconcile, if there's if, you know, if they have any intention to make things work out, then a level up lubaina Homer, Allah will make union between them, they cannot solve their problems on their own

00:35:49 --> 00:36:27

anymore. You have to bring outside intervention is that clear? You have to bring outside intervention now because it things are getting now dangerous. They're getting dangerous. Now, you're playing with fire now, because you're playing with very intense emotions. If it came to the point where it even came close, even hitting, then that means it might even turn into murder, who knows? It can get too far. And this is very real. It happens every day. In humanity, we're not talking some philosophical theory, this is reality. Now the thing is, all of this was about a woman going bad, wasn't it. And if she goes bad, there are basically four steps. advise her separate the bed, if

00:36:27 --> 00:36:47

things got physical, maybe once I'll let you get away with it, then get outside intervention to, by the way, not hit her and then get outside intervention. Actually, Allah talks to all of us and says if you're noticing things going bad in his home, if all of you notice a schism between them a crack between them, you get outside help for them. Because they may not want to get it.

00:36:49 --> 00:37:01

They might be okay with it. They don't want to get it so you have to intervene and get outside help for them. before things get really bad. Now, four steps. Yes. On the other side, what if the husband have no shoes.

00:37:03 --> 00:37:05

This is the wife having new shoes.

00:37:06 --> 00:37:10

She's getting out of hand. But the husband could also have what?

00:37:11 --> 00:37:43

But the new shoes of the husband and the shoes of the wife are two different things. A wife is not so afraid of the same thing that the husband is afraid of. Actually, the thing to fear and a husband is actually much worse. He's actually capable of physical abuse, psychological abuse and physical abuse much more. He's physically more powerful than the woman. He can hit her he could beat her up. He could do worse. And this by the way, is his theory or happens every day.

00:37:44 --> 00:38:01

Allah says we're in nim Ratan Hoffman, Elisa new shoes and later on in the same surah if a woman is afraid of the same issue, some kind of new shoes, some kind of new shoes from her husband, immediately get outside help

00:38:02 --> 00:38:06

with the woman, how many steps were there for what the man

00:38:07 --> 00:38:13

can help immediately. Why because it can become a life and death situation in the blink of an eye.

00:38:14 --> 00:38:51

It can become really bad really, really quickly. This is really important. You know you have modern in America, Canada, England, etc. They have these abuse tip helplines. If you're being abused by your boyfriend or your husband, you can call this helpline nobody will find out, you know about those things. Right? Now, you know, this is a reality because the woman who's being abused, she feels like she has nobody to talk to. And she gets scared that if she talks to anybody else, he's gonna if he's crazy now, if she talks to anybody else, he's gonna go really crazy. He's gonna kill me. If anybody finds out, people ask her about the marks on her face. She says I fell down the

00:38:51 --> 00:38:51


00:38:52 --> 00:39:10

They asked her again, she's I'm taking a boxing class. You know, she lies and lies and lies, she can't come up with more lies because she's, she's not just loyal to her husband, she's terrified. If anybody finds out the truth, he's gonna go really crazy. What is the lesson actually making the community responsible? You have to come and intervene right away.

00:39:12 --> 00:39:42

You have to come and intervene. This these this is the Sharia of Allah. This is the law of Allah, what he revealed what he said. And by the way, I got I didn't come to this conclusion myself. I have put on questions to like you do? And I go to people that I want to ask and find out what they think about these questions. One, some of my mentors are people like Dr. Ackerman, the professor under her name, she helped a lot me other people. So I went to Professor Abdul Halim last year, and I gave him 10 Koran questions. This was one of them. And our discussion is recorded on my phone. I have it I won't give it to you.

00:39:43 --> 00:40:00

Those are mine. Those are my treasures in life. I these conversations I have with scholars, I record them. Okay. So we were talking and he describes this contextual like, Look, it's this on this side. It's that on the other side, it's being contrast and this is what the ayah means there's really no other more powerful level.

00:40:00 --> 00:40:14

didn't send this. And I was really happy. I was like for the you know, because you know, one thing that my teacher Dr. Ackerman does he instilled in me that I'm really grateful for every rule of Allah, if understood properly, appeals to your fitrah

00:40:15 --> 00:40:28

this Dean is a dean of Petra. And if you understand any hokum, Avila, if you give it the time to understand it, immediately, something in your heart will be like, Okay, I'm at ease. Now, that makes sense.

00:40:29 --> 00:40:45

You don't have to do gymnastics and find some way of interpreting it that's progressive, and you know, liberal, or we have to have a new interpretation. You have to be true and honest with the text. And you have to be true and honest with the context. And you can arrive at the conclusion that will appeal to your federa.

00:40:46 --> 00:40:50

Okay, when I heard this answer, immediately, I just felt it I just something in me, like, oh,

00:40:52 --> 00:40:54

like a boulder was lifted from my chest.

00:40:56 --> 00:41:01

And I that same night, I had dinner with about 20 scholars,

00:41:02 --> 00:41:04

traditional scholars,

00:41:05 --> 00:41:18

and I'm not gonna say what school of thought or whatever, that doesn't matter. But they were I know, they were the kind of people in moms that have given talks and teach that you can basically hit women

00:41:19 --> 00:41:20


00:41:21 --> 00:41:36

like that this is not the case, the case is the shittiest sanctions that you can hit them under any. So if they're, if they're raising their voice, if they're, you know, if they're home late, something or something, you can just hit them. And that's, it allows it right there, and they say these things.

00:41:38 --> 00:41:44

So I was having dinner with them all the time. And then the only ignorant one is me sitting there. But you know, me, I like making trouble.

00:41:45 --> 00:41:52

So I was like, you know, this morning, I had lunch with Professor Helene. We were talking about the idea of hitting women.

00:41:53 --> 00:41:54

What did he say?

00:41:57 --> 00:42:12

Well, he said that it's actually about infidelity. Because half a lot on delay. And there's a cost. On the other hand, with the halfmoon on new shoes, oh nine, that's the only real way to make sense of how to add new shoes.

00:42:13 --> 00:42:18

And then the rest of it falls right in it. Just everything starts making sense in that process.

00:42:21 --> 00:42:27

And what's really awesome, was that they all said, that makes sense. That's true.

00:42:29 --> 00:42:29

And I said,

00:42:33 --> 00:42:34

Why don't you guys say it?

00:42:36 --> 00:42:37

Why was that the first time I heard it?

00:42:39 --> 00:42:41

I've heard otherwise my entire life.

00:42:42 --> 00:42:47

I've listened to lots of people talk about this. All they talk about Islam miswak and the toothbrush.

00:42:49 --> 00:42:51

Nobody ever talked to me about the context where it applies.

00:42:53 --> 00:42:55

How come you guys if you know this, why didn't you say anything?

00:42:57 --> 00:43:02

Again, I like making trouble. And what what good is dinner? If it's not awkward? You know?

00:43:05 --> 00:43:10

So what are these? He says, Hey, well, you know, the people aren't ready.

00:43:12 --> 00:43:13

And I said,

00:43:15 --> 00:43:17

people are ready.

00:43:18 --> 00:43:25

What in the world does that mean? I didn't want to take it any further. But I knew what that meant. I knew what that meant.

00:43:26 --> 00:43:47

What happens in Muslim society, not that group. And that group, may Allah reward them and me allows me to continue to guide all the Muslims. I don't hate on any group. We're all in this together. The ones who know and the ones who don't know, we're one oma, we're one family. And we have one one giant mess of problems. Look, the thing is, what happens is, people are around other people who think the same way.

00:43:49 --> 00:44:07

And you belong to the same, let's just say the same school of thought. And within that school of thought, you guys agree with all the same fatwas. Right. Now, the problem is, if you belong to that group, then you have to agree with all of their fatwas. And if you disagree with any one of them,

00:44:08 --> 00:44:15

then you are stepping out of line. And the rest of the group will say, Hey, what are you doing, and they might kick you out of the group.

00:44:16 --> 00:44:47

You don't belong with us anymore. So you will lose your your title, your social status, your position, your friends, your circle, you're out of there, because you disagreed with one of those things that they say. If you do that, then you've either become a sellout or a hypocrite or something else, you know. And so a lot of times, people won't say anything, not because they're not convinced, but because they're too afraid of the mafia that they're already a part of.

00:44:48 --> 00:45:00

That's a reality. And I've seen that reality many times. I've had personal conversations with people who are public figures, and in private, they'll tell me one thing and in public dealings

00:45:00 --> 00:45:12

Never say it. And I thought, Why don't you say like, you know, I can't because, you know, I come from the school and my teachers would never, you know, and all of other graduates, they'll all consider me, you know, deviant to this, that I can't I can't say that in public, but you of course, I agree with you.

00:45:14 --> 00:45:16

Really? Wow.

00:45:17 --> 00:45:36

You know, that's the reality of it. That's a very scary reality. It's a very, very scary reality. And, to me, it has to be spoken about only not to demonize scholars or schools of thought, I will say one thing, or the Football Hall of this Omar incredible intellectuals, incredible. They're incredible.

00:45:37 --> 00:45:41

And you know, what makes amazing and amazing is actually the principles

00:45:42 --> 00:46:13

because you don't ever arrive at a conclusion without following certain principles. Right? The principles are pretty much timeless, you can think of the principles as timeless, you know what we've done. We don't even care about the principles. We just care, you think of the principles as the machine, you have to put every question through this machine. And on the other side, you get the answer. All we care about now is what the answer, but sometimes people are giving the answer, but they didn't use the machine.

00:46:15 --> 00:46:22

They gave the answer. And they represent they're the mechanic. They're supposed to be the one that operates the machine, but they give an answer without using any of the principles,

00:46:24 --> 00:46:33

then that answer is invalid, even if it came from them. That answer is not acceptable. It's not good enough. It's not strong enough. Every answer has to follow what

00:46:34 --> 00:47:09

the principles and that's my problem, if you have just all they've said it. So that's why it's true. Well, no, what principles did they use to arrive at that conclusion? A principle like the context of the principle like the historical context, the principle like reconciling the Quran with the Sunnah, they cannot be in contradiction with each other, they complement the principles, they have to be followed the you have to you have to be in line with them to arrive at proper conclusions. Once again, I don't claim that this is the perfect understanding of the text. But I am saying that whatever understanding that I've, like discussed with people, I haven't found conclusions that are

00:47:09 --> 00:47:48

rooted in principles. I haven't found that and when when scholars much more versed than myself much more much more qualified than myself are helping me arrive at this I feel obligated to share it even though it is not my space. But I feel like this actually hurts a lot of people. A lot of people are abused in the name of religion, you know, and and men should watch out for not falling into one not being the volume not being the wrongdoer thinking they're obeying the word of Allah and women should not be oppressed, thinking that Allah condones oppression of them, realize that we don't give us loyalty and love and respect and proper understanding to his word barakallahu li walakum wa salaamu

00:47:48 --> 00:47:49

Alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:47:51 --> 00:48:09

Thanks for watching guys. I hope you benefited. I'd like to encourage you to actually embark on a comprehensive journey into the Quran. I've done a video translation and explanation of the entire Quran it's called called I uncovered a cover. I'd like you to check it on in Vienna TV, just do a little bit of it every day and before you know it, you'll have gone through the entire quote in translation with me. Hope you can take part somewhere

Share Page

Related Episodes