Raising Awareness On Suicide In The Community

Navaid Aziz

Channel: Navaid Aziz

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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim

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al hamdu lillahi

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wa now the villa Himanshu rhodian fusina woman CEO Dr. mahna mahna.

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mahna mahna Inder Allahu la sharika shawanda Mohammed Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi he was, he was, he was seldom at the Sleeman kathira. And that, my dear brothers and sisters, Salaam Alaikum, warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

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Can you get a light load response? So dama de como la

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JazakAllah. Before we begin just an announcement for the sisters that the sisters quarter and half of it will be opening up in Sharla. So the sisters that are directly behind the curtain if you can just move slightly back, and then you can open up that curtain inshallah. So the sisters can join us for this session as well, which is a community discussion more than a Hanukkah. So we're going to be opening up the sisters curtain now in sha Allah, you can please open it up, there's a lot better.

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With that being said, I want to start off today's discussion

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with a little bit of trivia. And you're going to be given an option to choose one of two responses. You can either say myth, or you can say fact, those are your two options, myth, or fact. Okay, so I'll pose a question. And then I'll ask who believes it's a myth. You raise your hands, if you believe submit? And then I'll ask who believes it's a fact you raise your hand if you believe it is a fact. So question number one, suicide notes are always left at the time of suicide. suicide notes are always left at the time of suicide. How many people believe this is a myth? Raise your hands.

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Fantastic. And how many people believe this is a fact? Raise your hands.

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Okay, not too many, not too many. That's fine. Question number two. People who talk about suicide should not be taken seriously. People who talk about suicide should not to be taken seriously. How do you believe this is a myth? Raise your hands.

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Perfect. And how many people believe this is a fact?

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Interesting. Now we have more of a split on this one. And my third and last question that they want to ask is children do not die by suicide? children do not die by suicide? How many people believe this is a myth? Raise your hands.

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Okay, how many people believe this is a fact? Raise your hands? Okay, not too many. That's fine as well? Shall I'll answer all of these myths and facts at the end of the session shall as a as a concluding remark. What I want to begin the session on is where did my interest for this actually come about? earlier last year, there is a Netflix series that came out called 13 reasons why 13 reasons why a lot of you may have heard about it. I even wrote about it on my on my Facebook page. And it was a very disturbing experience. For those of you that haven't watched it, just to give you a summary of what it's about. It's about a young girl who's in her teens, who goes through a series

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of traumatic events, but also goes through a series of bad decisions. And multiple times along the way. There are means for people to stop hurting her and stop her being abused and stop or feeling abandoned. But time and time again, she feels that she is abandoned Isn't she feels that she is left to be betrayed. And then the final person to do that is the guidance counselor, where the guidance counselor, you know, she's approaching the guidance counselor. She's like, Look, I desperately need help. Do you have time for me?

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So the final person she speaks to is the guidance counselor. And then the guidance counselor doesn't really make time for and doesn't take her seriously. And at that time, she's like literally begging and pleading that as she's leaving the guidance counselor's office, let him come after me and asking me Okay, that's all she's wanting is for the guidance counselor to come out after and ask her is she okay? But the guidance counselor doesn't do that. And that was sort of like the straw that broke the camel's back. And she says, Look, if the guidance counselor isn't going to help me, what hope do I have after and then it's probably the most glorious scene I've ever seen in like media, which shows

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and depicts her actually committing suicide. Now, when I saw this, my interest was piqued in this series because my wife was watching it. She's a counselor at the school. So this is something she deals with on a regular basis. And I was just watching it with her. And that's how the interest came about. But what became really more interesting is, I would say about two or three weeks after I finished watching the series, I actually went to the Islamic school.

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And I was asked to give, you know, just a small talk to some teenagers. And I said, You know what, let's talk about this series, how many people are watching 13 reasons why. And it was astounding and astonishing, I would say, out of the 18 kids that I spoke to, only one of them was not watching it. And that was because his parents didn't allow him to, if his parents allowed him to, he would have watched it anyways. Then I asked those of you that are watching it, how many of you are watching it with your parents or with an elder, none of them are watching it with a parent or an elder, they're all watching it by themselves. How old was the youngest person in this group? nine years old. And I

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thought to myself, What is going on? Like, why is it that as the Muslim community if you want to have awareness on suicide and discuss the issue of suicide, we have to go through such a graphic and gory process. So I said to myself, you know what the first step of, you know, talking about something is increasing yourself in knowledge. So I went online, and I looked up suicide prevention. And it turns out that we actually have a center for prevention of suicide here in Calgary. So you go to their website, and they actually have multiple certifications that you can do. So I went and I got one of the certifications in March on assist on how to assist people in preventing suicide in

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intervening in suicide. So if someone's actually suicidal, how can you actively help them. And since then, I wanted to discuss this issue. And it was purely the audit of Allah subhanho wa, taala, that time and time again, something will always come up. They didn't allow me to do it. But two things happened by the color of Allah subhana wa tada that said, You know what, this is something that has to be done. And that was when someone that I know, actually committed suicide last year, this person was a non Muslim, but they committed suicide, but some of her family members,

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you know, reached out, and it was a very, like, traumatizing experience. Because we always think that it's not going to happen to someone that I know, right? It can't happen to someone that I've met. And it's a very traumatizing experience to think of, is there anything I could have done differently? To save them? Did they give me any clues, any signs that I missed, that perhaps just completely slipped my mind, and you think about this, and you think about this, and you think about this, till the natural human experiences that hamdulillah we tend to forget, and thing, we tend to get busy with other things. So we're not we're not constantly bogged down by this. But it's a very

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sad reality when you know, someone that this happens to. And then number two, for those of you that are really active on social media, there was a huge uproar this very past week, about a person who is very insensitive, they were in Japan. And there's this particular forest, that is known as the Suicide Forest where people go to commit suicide, and this person was extremely insensitive towards it. And that became another uproar. So how did that worked out? That, you know, this was the time that Allah subhanaw taala had decreed to talk about this. Now, what is the scope of our discussion, the scope of our discussion? I want to start off by talking about statistics, that how big of an

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issue is this actually, for people? And who are the people that are most affected by it? Then the second part we're going to be discussing is why do people actually turn towards suicide? What happens in people's lives that make them lead, you know, go along this way. And then the third thing I want to talk about is how does Islam approach the topic of suicide in terms of the fic ruling towards it, but also towards how Islam promotes mental health, good mental health. But how does Islam actually promote this because you will realize, towards the end, that there is a very strong correlation between good mental health and what Islam is good. There's a very strong correlation

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between good mental health and the prevention of suicide and the prevention of suicide. So now, let's talk about some basic statistics. In 2014, the population of Alberta was 4,146,000. So 2014, population of Alberta was 4,146,000. in Alberta alone in 2014, there were 547 suicides, 547 suicides. Now, when I heard this statistic, the very first thing that came to my mind is if these people are committing suicide, how come we're not hearing about it? Like how many times on the news? Do you actually hear that such and such person committed suicide? It's not very often and there's actually a big reason behind that, that we'll be talking about later on. Now, what percentage of

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suicides actually go unreported? If you guys want to take a guess, three people, just give me a guess what percentage of suicide goes unreported?

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80%. That's very high. That's not so go lower than that.

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50% close, one more guess lower

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20% 20% is in the right range between five and 25% of suicides actually go on reported. Now why would a suicide go on reported, because you have to understand it's actually quite difficult that a person died of suicide. I'll give you a very simple example, that if a person chooses to suicide by drowning themselves, so they jump off.

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Yeah, let's just say they jump off a bridge, and their body is found in a body of water. No one saw them jump off a bridge, but we're finding this person's body in the body of water, it could be that this person was swimming, and they ended up dying because they drowned. Or it could be that this person committed suicide, and that is why their body was found. So proving it becomes very, very difficult. And that is why they say the statistics will vary from 5% to 25%.

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What type of harm what percentage of people or how many times greater? Do people show suicidal behavior 40 to 100 times greater than the number of suicides, many people will show this behavior, but they're just a couple of steps away from actually doing the act. So that means there are around 504 54,700 people that had suicidal behavior in 2014. Now, what percentage of people actually have suicidal thoughts? What percentage of people actually have suicidal thoughts? 5%. So in the province of Alberta, that comes out to 207,207 207,300 to 107,300. In 2014, I had suicidal thoughts. Now, I want you to imagine if in this masala right now, we are 100 people, actually more than 100 people,

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let's just say 150 people, what does 5% of that look like? roughly around eight people? That means around eight people in this must Allah potentially have had suicidal thoughts? What does that look like practically? In a group of, you know, 10, that's, you know, a large number of that one person is thinking about it almost. Right. So that's something to be very cautious of that, you know, suicide is something that people think about, suicide is something that people show behavioral tendencies of, and something suicide is something that people actually do in the province of Alberta. And I focus just on the province of Alberta, because I believe it was more relevant

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relevant to our discussion. But if you take it to a nationwide statistic, from 2012, to 2016, actually is no sorry. This is again, just in Alberta, again, just in Alberta, 2012, to 2016 2796, suicides, 2796 suicides, that's from 2012 to 2016. in Alberta. Now, as a nationwide statistic, on the average given year, you have around 4000 Canadians that will come a new will die by suicide 4000 Canadians that will die by suicide. Now, the last two things I want to share in terms of statistics, is what age range is most susceptible to suicide, what age range is more susceptible to suicide, between 15 to 34, is the highest range of those that are susceptible to suicide. And it gets

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interesting after that, because the next age range is in the elderly community that 75 and older, that is the next highest age range that you find in terms of dying by suicide. Now, remember, we were talking about two children die by suicide. Again, just looking at the province of Alberta from 2010, to 2012, to 2016. There are 25 cases of ages 10 to 14, that they died by suicide 25, two in the ages of 10 and 14. So it's a very, you know, big thing in our in the Canadian community in the Alberta community. And why are we discussing this as a Muslim community. We're discussing this as a Muslim community because statistics are coming out now that those are actual minorities. And those

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that face stigma and marginalization are actually more susceptible to dying by suicide are actually more susceptible by dying by suicide. If you go to the Canadian Association for suicide prevention website. They actually have a small paragraph that I wanted to share with you.

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I think I might have left it inside the room.

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Yo notches right here. So within the Canadian population, the unique conditions resulting from marginalization, institutionalized trauma, colonialism, structural violence, racism and prejudice are more likely to have higher suicide rates of suicide related behaviors. So let's look at that, again. marginalization, institutionalized trauma, colonialism, structural violence, racism and prejudice. And as we know, the Muslim community has been, you know, on the short end of the stick when it comes to those issues. So it's a very important issue to raise awareness of in the Muslim community. So now, why do people actually choose to die by suicide? There's no given statistic that

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can be shown that this is why people choose to die from suicide. Is it depression? In some cases? Yes. But statistics show the opposite as well, that 85 to 98%. If I'm not mistaken, let me look at that again. Yes, 85 to 98% of people that are diagnosed with depression don't actually die from suicide. So so so depression is not always the case. One of the bigger things that people have seen is lack of purpose, that people no longer understand what their purpose in life is anymore. And that emptiness fills them inside, just completely takes over their lives. And that is one of the reasons why people lead towards suicide. There's overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair and

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helplessness. So hopelessness, despair and helplessness, hopelessness, meaning that the situation that they're in the difficulty that they're in right now, they don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and they're just completely hopeless in it. despair is very similar to that, that they've completely given up, that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there's nothing that is going to change. My circumstance, that is despair, and helplessness is that they can't they feel that they can't help themselves. And likewise, they don't feel that anyone else can help them, either. And these are reasons that people turn towards suicide. Now, how does this tie in to Eman?

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Can we say that someone that has a man will not think about suicide? I actually don't think that's a very fair assessment to make. I do not believe it's a fair assessment to make to tie this in to an issue of a man. In fact, thinking and contemplating about suicide has very little to do with the man a person can have very good. So he can have very high belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala. But sometimes, we're all susceptible to the traps of shavon shavon gets the best of us to make so to make those accusations that hey, someone who dies of suicide has wiki man, that's not for us to judge and actually creates a further stigma. This is not a statement, that should be said, it's not

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a statement, that should be said. So those are reasons why people turn towards suicide. Now, why is it so hard to gauge why people committing suicide, there's no one of those that have actually done it. Very few of them have told us the exact reasons why very few of them have told us the exact reasons why. So it's not as if you can gather statistics from those that have passed away. But those that have left indications, those that are that have left notes, this is what we are seeing those, this is what we're seeing. So now the learning lesson from all of this is we have to be people that are helpful, we have to be people that inspire hope in people, and we have to be people that help

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people find their purpose that help people find their purpose. And this concept of finding purpose is such a strong psychological attribute does you'll notice not only does it prevent suicide, but for those of you that have even looked into the issue of radicalization, people become radicalized, because he stopped they stopped finding purpose, one of the reasons behind that. So when you help someone find purpose, you're actually helping them and preventing them from becoming susceptible to a lot of vulnerabilities. And that's what we want to try to do. Now I just want to go on to that small tangent that when we talk about purpose, as Muslims, it is very, very important to be grateful

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for this. The fact that Allah subhanho wa Taala defined for us, our purpose, he tells us one more follow up to engender will insert into the abdomen, that I have not created mankind in the Djinn except to worship me. So our purpose of creation has been defined for us. And you'll notice that those that are not Muslim, they will spend their whole entire lives trying to figure out what is my purpose? Why am I on this earth? And it's amazing that's not a lie that even though Muslims know their purpose on Earth, we tend to forget it. We tend to become deluded, we tend to become you know, again, this trapped by shaytaan

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Caught up in the web of the dunya not fulfilling it, those that don't have it, are literally dying because they don't have it. And those that have it, take it for granted. And I think that is a human plate that you know, whatever we have as human beings, we always take it for granted. And one of the things I'm hoping that we can leave with tonight is a feeling of gratitude that Allah subhana wa tada made one of the most important questions of our lives, why do I exist, so simply answered for us that we were created to worship Allah subhana wa Tada. And worshiping Allah subhanho wa Taala is not just praying five times a day, and giving us a carrot and fasting, or wearing Hijab or any of

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those things, it is much, much more than that. That is perhaps the foundation. But it also entails helping people it also entails making the world a better place, and also entails contributing to the societies that we live in. The concept of worship is a very, you know, broad spectrum in Islam. So you find that avenue, you find that aspect there. As long as you fulfill the basics of the pillars of Islam, you find that specific Avenue, that is your calling. Some people are great teachers, some people are great listeners, some people are great lecturers, whatever it is, find your niche, and then use that to worship Allah subhanho wa Tada. Now, the next component i want to talk about is,

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what do we do? If we know that someone is suicidal? What do we do if we know that someone is suicidal? And this is perhaps one of the scariest things one of the scariest things that you know, someone is suicidal.

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And you have a fear that I don't want to get involved. Because what if I say something, or do something that actually leads them to suicide, right? So there's that fear that people will have that, hey, if I get involved, you know, this might actually make situations worse. So let me not get involved. But this ties into like, for those of you that, you know, watch basketball, Michael Jordan had that famous quote, that you will miss 100% of the shots that you never take, you will miss 100% of the shots that you never take. So it is a bigger mistake, to not get involved than it is to get involved and not to do anything about it. So now let us discuss what does a person that is thinking

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about suicide actually look like? What are their behaviors going to be? So if you see that a person actually says that, hey, I'm thinking about suicide, that is the biggest flag right over there. At that time, there are certain steps that need to be taken. And this is what we're going to be discussing. If you see someone that is completely distraught, completely distraught, meaning that you're in the middle of a hallway at a building, and they're just completely broken down, crying their eyes out, most human beings will just walk by and just ignore this person. Because we want to think you know what, let me mind my own business. I don't want anyone interfering in my business,

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let me not interfere in theirs. But if you learn anything from this seminar, is that you should go out of your way you see someone crying, stop your car, if you have to, on the side of the road to go and ask them if everything is okay. Because a lot of the times they just need to feel and see that someone cares about them. So someone extremely distraught, that is a big sign that perhaps there is suicidal behavior. There's also other physical elements, that of all of a sudden someone says, You know what, I'm selling all my stuff, someone comes up to you, Hey, I have you know, a large collection of lectures or a large collection of books, or my furniture, I want to get rid of all of

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it. Do you know anyone that wants to buy it? Rather than you thinking, Hey, this is an amazing deal. Let me buy it for $100 or whatever they're selling it for. Ask them, why are you doing this? And then if you get this language like, Oh, you know, I don't think I need all of this stuff anymore. Pry even further, right, these are all telling signs that you need to get involved even further. So if someone's selling all of their stuff, all of a sudden, then that is something that needs to be looked at. Also look at subliminal messaging, or I've lost all hope. Right? This is something that we hear this is a very telling sign that this person needs to talk needs someone to talk to needs

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some help. So these are all behavioral characteristics that you should be looking at. Now, the Suicide Prevention Center in Calgary actually has this very nice pamphlet and I'm going to leave this here later on. For those of you that want to check it out and actually have a whole bunch of material that I picked up from the center today that you guys can take home for those of you that want to learn more about it. But they have a plan called pathway for assisting life power pathway for system

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Think life and the broken down intervention into three main sections. And each of these three sections is divided into four to further sections, meaning that there's two other six steps that you need to be taken at all time. So the first thing you're looking at are the invitations, has this person giving you any invitations to talk about suicide. So any of the things that I mentioned previously, those are considered invitations, you see any of those invitations, get involved, right away, get involved, right away, start talking to them start engaging them. Now, this leads us to step number two, in part one, which is asking them the straightforward question, Are you thinking

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about suicide? When we did this as a class activity? In our training, this was perhaps the most difficult thing than looking someone in the eye and asking them, are you suicidal? Are you thinking about suicide? Because as human beings, we don't like to accuse someone of something, right? Because there's such a stigma of suicide, put me like, why would I be thinking about suicide? Are you crazy? Why are you accusing me of suicide? That's the way we perceive things. We don't want people to react towards that. But it always goes back to the fundamental question, then yes, as awkward as it is, what is going to be the greatest calamity, the fact that you're wrong, or the fact that you did

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nothing about it? Right? The greatest calamity will always be the fact that you did nothing about it. Because you will think much later on, as you find this out, that perhaps this person died by suicide, and you had an opportunity to intervene, but you didn't. So you have to get over that shyness. And I can't tell you how many different exercises they made us do, where we're interacting with different people. And literally, the main point of the exercise, is you feel uncomfortable enough on your tongue? To ask someone? Hey, are you thinking about suicide? Are you thinking about suicide? And this question has to be done, if you see someone distraught. Now, just because you see

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someone crying, that doesn't mean that you go and ask them, Hey, are you thinking about suicide? That's not how you start off a conversation. You go to them, you ask them, Hey, is everything okay? You know, what's going on? Is there anything I can do to help? And then as you're getting more information, and just use your intuition, do you feel that this person is possibly going to die by suicide? Or think about or have suicidal behavior? That's when you ask the question. That is when you ask the question. So that is part one, that is part one, and that is connecting with suicide. So look at the invitations. After you've seen the invitations, then ask them a straightforward

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question, Hey, are you thinking about suicide store, then part two, is understanding choices. So by this time, you want to get to the face of understanding their story, simple questions, like, Hey, why are things so tough for you? I'm here to listen to what you have to say, simple questions like that, to get them to talk. And this is something that you have to understand that people that have demonstrated suicidal behavior, they actually want you to open up, that's what they're looking for someone to open up to. So you use whatever technique you know, best, whatever technique, you know how to create conversation. So that starts off by creating a comfortable space. So if you're in the

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middle of a very crowded place, tell them hey, let's go for a coffee and sit down. Let me treat you to some coffee, or do something to drink. And let's sit and talk. And then you start telling them a little bit about yourself very little that My name is the Vedas ease, and I'm an Imam in the community. Why don't you tell me who you are, right? People like to reciprocate information, they like to feel safe, they like to know who they're dealing with. And then you get into more difficult and more deeper questions. One of the biggest mistakes that you will make over here, particularly for those of us that are more talkative is that you start talking about yourself more, you start out

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about your own problems, oh, I had such a bad day today. My wife did this, my children did that school was terrible. And this person is like, I thought we were here to talk about me. And they'll feel even more betrayed at that time. So you have to make sure that that tendency that you have to share your own problems, you pull it back, let them talk, give them an opportunity to share, give them an opportunity to talk. So as they're sharing their story, start to understand why they're going through this difficult phase. What is it that is so difficult, and then help them find a turning point. So don't throw solutions at them say that, don't tell them that, hey, this is what

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you should do, and it will solve your problems. But rather, when you're helping them find a solution. You're going to be asking questions. Hey, do you think you could have done this? Do you think that this is a better possibility? Do you think that this is a better solution? help them navigate through their problems, help them navigate through their problems? At this point, you also want to inspire them with optimism, all the things that they have to live for all the things that are absolutely amazing.

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Their lives. And you'll notice that each and every person has something to be extremely grateful for the fact that they have good health, the fact that they have good eyesight, the fact that they have family, the fact that they live in Canada, the fact that they have, you know, the ability to go to school, the fact that their ability to healthcare, these are all simple things that again, as human beings we take for granted. But when you compare it to the rest of the world, when you compare it to the vast majority of people, you realize that we are truly ungrateful. So you have to inspire them with optimism, and remind them of all the things that they have to be grateful for. And this is the

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end of phase two, which is called understanding choices. And then the third phase is assisting life assisting life. And then that first part of phase three, is coming up with a safe plan that, hey, for the next 24 hours, how are we going to make sure that you stay safe? How are we going to ensure that everything is going to be okay? Is there a family member that we can put you in touch with that I can take you to Is there a friend that I can connect you with that you feel comfortable confiding in, and then we'll spend the next 24 hours with you, because the next 24 hours are in fact, the most crucial. People that have no one will usually be institutionalized into the hospital, they will be

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under suicide watch at that time. But rather than taking them to the hospital and say, Hey, we want to put you under suicide watch, people don't want to be in that situation. So you make things easier that he is a family member that we can take you to is your friend that we can take you to. And let's talk about a plan on how you're going to spend your next 24 hours. Usually, these people will be sleep deprived, they will be food deprived, they will be you know, dehydrated, all of these things, you want to try to bring back that sense of of normal, you know, day to day life back to them. Which brings us now, after you've come out with a 24 hour plan, the next thing you need to do is okay,

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what is the long term solution? And this is where that member that they connect you with either a friend or a family member, then at that time you talk about Okay, is there a psychologist in the community that we can connect you to? Or can we take you to the distress center? Or can we take you to the Suicide Prevention Center? You know, where can we go? What is the long term solution? And then once you've laid out their long term solution, let them figure it out. And you can withdraw yourself from that situation. If they call you back. That's great. If they do if they don't, they'll handle at least you know you've done the absolute minimum, the absolute minimum. And this in basic

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summary is what the training is all about this, this training at the Suicide Prevention Center teaches is this is how what it is how to intervene and stopped that from taking place. Now from everything that I've shared. Was there anything that was complicated? No, it wasn't complicated at all. It is things that we will do on a day to day basis with our friends and family members. All we're saying is, don't just restrict it to your friends and family members be a lot more intuitive to day to day people that you tend to just walk by and ignore. Because you could be the turning point in their lives, you could be the turning point in their lives.

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The next thing I wanted to

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talk about is suicide and mental health, suicide, and mental health. And I'll just share with you three statistics with you I showed one of them with you already, that 85 to 98% of people diagnosed with depression do not die by suicide. 80 to 97% of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder do not die by suicide, and 85 to 94% of people that are diagnosed with scripts and schizophrenia do not die by suicide. So you see the statistics that people are seeing that there's a strong relationship between particular diseases or particular elements of mental health and suicide, that's not actually true that someone that is suicidal must have depression, someone that is suicidal, must be bipolar,

00:34:02--> 00:34:47

or someone that is suicidal, must be schizophrenic. Clearly, the statistics do not support that. What the statistics do support is that they do not have good mental health, meaning that they are overstressed. They are over anxious. And they've lost the ability to see the brighter aspect and the more hopeful aspects of existence. Right. So that is what it needs to be brought back to. And this is why what I wanted to conclude with is the Islamic component of this Islamic component of this, and then we can open up this word for greater discussion. So what happens islamically to a person when they died by suicide? And this is a very important question to look at. And I just want to test

00:34:47--> 00:34:55

you guys over here. So can I get three volunteers? Okay, I just need three volunteers. One, can you get two more?

00:34:56--> 00:34:59

Two? Excellent. And can you a third volunteer. We'll have a third volunteer in the back.

00:35:00--> 00:35:21

Yo, yo, okay, just stand up if you don't mind. Okay? I don't sorry, not your brother, the brother in the back. My apologies. I'll choose you for another activity inshallah. So, my question for each of you in this exact same question, someone comes up to you and says, I said, I want Ico? What is the ruling on suicide? Okay, how would you answer this?

00:35:24--> 00:35:27

But why are you asking this question? Excellent. What would you say?

00:35:31--> 00:35:33

You don't know. That's perfectly fine. Go ahead.

00:35:37--> 00:35:43

So the person is asking you another Muslim comes up to you and asks you, what is the ruling on suicide in Islam?

00:35:50--> 00:36:29

great answers, you guys can have a seat on my head. Okay. So now one of the things that you learn that if someone is comfortable enough to ask you this question, clearly something is on their mind. Either they're interested for themselves, or they're asking for someone in their family or friends. Right? So of the mechanic he picked up on the cue as a second step. So he said, it's wrong. But tell me why you're asking. I would make this the first step, then hey, before I even answer this question, why are you asking? Why are you asking the question? That's what you want to bring it up to? Right? You have to show that genuine concern, you have to show that genuine concern. And I also

00:36:29--> 00:37:00

like what both of you did, you clearly said, I don't know. And then you said, I don't know. But let me take you to someone that does. And it shows us that as human beings, we all have things that we know that we're capable of, and things that we're not capable of, if you're not comfortable doing something, don't back away, but say, Look, I don't know. And perhaps I can take you to someone that does get someone that is qualified, get someone that knows and let them help out with the situation because I cannot get into all of you that are doing that. So that is the first if someone asks you the ruling, always bring it back to why are you asked before I answer that question. Why don't you

00:37:00--> 00:37:38

tell me a little bit about more why you're asking. And if it's about themselves about someone that you know, get involved, try to get them the help that they need. Now we actually get into the ruling itself. And then when you look at the literature that talks about suicide in Islam, it's actually literature that is very difficult to reconcile. Because we have the general verse in the Quran where Allah subhanho wa Taala he says, in the law, you should look at the world through Madonna Danica Manisha, Indeed Allah subhanho wa Taala does not forget, does not forgive that she should be committed with him, but forgives anything else other than that, but forgives anything else. Other

00:37:38--> 00:38:16

than that, so that's the ayah in the Quran. But then you have a Hadith of the Prophet are seldom both found in Bukhari and Muslim The first of them that says it was natural but whatever the love angle that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, Whoever throws himself down from a mountain and kills himself, will be throwing himself down into Hellfire forever and ever. Whoever drinks poison kills himself will be sipping it in the Hellfire forever and ever. whoever killed himself with a piece of iron will have that iron in his hand, thrusting it into his belly, in the fire of hell forever and ever. Then the second Hadith is of john dub, the department's of aluminium said, a man amongst those

00:38:16--> 00:38:59

who came before you was wounded. he panicked and took a knife and cut his hand and the bleeding did not stop until he died. Allah subhanho wa Taala said, my slave hastin his death, so I have forbidden paradise for him, so I forbidden paradise for him. And both of these ahaadeeth were married by Bukhari and Muslim. So how do we reconcile the fact that Allah subhanaw taala will forgive everyone that doesn't commit shared with Allah subhanho wa Taala regardless of what their transgression is, versus both of these Hadith one saying that they will be in the Hellfire forever and ever and the second one saying that paradise has become forbidden for them paradise has becoming become forbidden

00:38:59--> 00:39:40

for them. So what a lot of scholars have commented on this is that if a person died by suicide, while having a man and Allah subhana wa tada and didn't have a belief that negated his belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala then this person has committed a major sin and still has hope for gender and still has hope for Jana eventually, right? He is under the mercy of Allah subhana wa tada under the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And these Hadith in particular, the talk about paradise being forbidden, or talking about being the Hellfire forever, this means that they had a priest, this,

00:39:41--> 00:39:59

this belief, this point of arcada that was negated first, and then they committed the act of suicide. So what would be like a point of Akita that would nullify their faith in Allah subhana wa Tada. So if they came to the conclusion that Allah subhanaw taala can never forgive me, then that is a point of Aikido.

00:40:00--> 00:40:42

Okay, that can nullify your faith, or that unless I know Delta can never show mercy to me, I'm too sinful, right, then that is a point of aqeedah that could nullify your faith. So those are Hadith that talk about this clearly show that if there is a belief system that precedes the action, then that person potentially could have lost their faith, and they will be in the Hellfire forever, but it was a Muslim that died with faith with suicide, then they're under the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala. And it is a major sin, it is a major sin. What is the fruit of this discourse? Meaning what is the significance of having this discourse, number one for dealing with the individual, and number

00:40:42--> 00:41:23

two, for dealing with the family, in terms of dealing with the individual, as Muslims, we always need deterrence something to prevent us from doing something. So someone that has belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala, when you just show them these a Hadith, they're very scary Hadith to look at and to understand that you prevent it from from gender altogether, or that you will continuously be doing that act that you died by suicide with and the Hellfire forever. Those are deterrence. So you use them to deter the individual when dealing with a Muslim, use these Hadith Did you know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said this use religious deterrence as part of your discussion,

00:41:23--> 00:42:09

but also for the sake of the family, you know, the family of the individual that had sued died by suicide. They're deeply impacted by this, they have 1000 questions from those questions is, did my relative die as a Muslim? Is there anything that I can do for my relative, and at that time, it is a very, very bad decision to bring up these ahaadeeth to them. At that time, you just mentioned the ayah to them, that Allah subhanaw taala, he has told us that he will give us everything except for shift. And because we have no proof of anything other than that, Allah subhanaw taala will forgive him continue to seek forgiveness for him continue to seek forgiveness for him, right. So you have to

00:42:09--> 00:42:52

be very, very sensitive towards people, before person might be thinking about suicide, share these ahaadeeth after the fact, with the family, inspire hope into those people inspire hope into those people. Number two, in terms of the actual filk, you'll find that certain physical opinions say that this person should not be buried with the Muslims and should not have their janazah prayed. Where are they coming from? They're coming from the perspective of this hadith. But from our experience, that because we have nothing to prove that there are key that changed, we remain upon the original foundation. Right? So what that means is that as long as we know them to be Muslim, we treat them

00:42:52--> 00:43:38

like a Muslim, we treat them like a Muslim, the janazah should be prayed, the body should be washed, they should be buried amongst the Muslims. Which brings me into my third and last point that I want to discuss is how does Islam promote good mental health? How does Islam promote good mental health? And you notice that there are several things that Islam encourages, that promotes good and mental health? Number one is the law. And the benefit of the law comes down into two things. Number one, is that you have someone to speak to. Right. as Muslims, we understand that not everyone that we have that we speak to has to be in front of us does not have to be a human being. We can speak directly

00:43:38--> 00:44:21

to our Creator subhanho wa Taala. Right. That is what do is all about, particularly in fact when it comes to our difficulties, school Bethany, what has Neela law, what are the woman Allah he made that Adam on the jacoba nature and he says, I complain of my grief and sorrow to Allah subhanho wa Taala and I know of Allah subhanho wa Taala that which you do not know. So what we learned from here is that the reason why Jacobo, he said a complaint to Allah subhanho wa Taala about his difficulty was for the fact that he recognized in times of difficulty, the only one that can truly help you is Allah subhana wa tada Allah subhanaw taala chooses the means he chooses the medium of you receiving

00:44:21--> 00:44:59

that help, but that help will come from Allah subhanho wa Taala. So you have to have that connection of making dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala, particularly in times of difficulty. Which brings us to point number two and law is how do I inspires optimism in people, the prophets of Allah when he was selling, he was telling his companions that all of your desires are answered in one of three ways. Either you get what you want, when you want it all you get it at a time where it is delayed, and it is better for you to receive it. Or what you're asking for is in fact, not good for you. So instead of last minute data

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averts an equal amount of evil from your life and replaces it with much, much more reward in the hereafter. This habit of the law and when they heard this, he said, O Messenger of Allah, if this is the case, we will increase in the Diwan that we make. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam concludes the Hadith by saying, well law who accept that Allah subhanho wa Taala has even more to give. The more you ask of Allah, the more Allah will give you. Now, particularly this Hadith, you know, someone may think, hey, but there's this third scenario that you don't get what you're asking for. So Allah versus equal amount of evil and use a greater amount of reward. People might think

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that hey, maybe I'm struggling at the state of desperation. And what if Allah doesn't help me? My dear brothers and sisters, look throughout the Koran. Look at the story of any Prophet and the difficulty that they went through. Do we ever have a time where Allah said you know what, let's just leave them alone. Let them be. Ibrahim Ali Salaam thrown into the fire alarm at the fire. Cool.

00:46:09--> 00:46:47

Eunice la Salaam in the bottom of the ocean in the belly of a whale, no one can hear him other than Allah. Allah found a way to get him expelled from the whale. And he came back musante salam has been Israel with him has the army of your own behind him and has the water and sea in front of him. Allah subhanho wa Taala split the see. There's not a moment in history where a slave of Allah has called out to Allah, insincerity in desperation, except that Allah subhanho wa Taala always gave them greater than what they asked for.

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And that is just through one aspect of making dua to Allah subhanaw taala. The second aspect of Islam that promotes good mental health is the sense of community and the sense of Alma and their sense of brotherhood, and sisterhood. You know, one of the things that we don't take seriously enough in our day and age, is praying in the masjid, praying in the masjid, particularly in your given community. Why is that a huge issue? Because if you're consistently praying in the masjid, the one day that you don't show up, people will actually wonder, Hey, where did this guy go? We see him for every seller, but they're not there. Right? Or you show up to the machine one day, and you have

00:47:31--> 00:48:13

tears in your eyes. Someone will ask you Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do to help? Through this concept of the machine being the central social point of the Muslim community cannot be emphasized enough. But what needs to exist at the same time, is the mentality of the people that are attending the masjid. The mentality of the people that are attending the mission has to be of one of a brother and a sister in Islam, that you treat everyone in the masjid better than the way you want to be treated, not equal, treat them better. So if you see someone distraught, ask them Is there something I can help you with? You see someone struggling with something, ask them? Is there

00:48:13--> 00:48:55

something that you need help with? go out of your way to ask them how is your day? Is everything okay? just genuinely ask them. give people an opportunity to speak and be genuine in that. You know, a lot of times what's happening in our day and age is that we're no longer genuine in asking people. Someone calls you Hey, Sal, how are you doing? I'm damn Okay. How are you humbler? Okay, let's talk about we have a lot we actually have to talk about. But the question of how are you doing today is no longer genuine. develop it in yourself that you never know. But when you ask someone how you're doing, generally mean that genuinely be inquisitive. I am praying for your well being. That is what

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the term as salam or Aleikum means May you be whole May you be at peace. So when you're asking someone how they are doing, think about the statement that said I'm on a call or you hold Are you at peace? That is what I'm generally concerned with. And that is why I began with a Salaam on equal rights, right. So the concept of community is another good way for the way that his son promotes mental health, that we're all part of a greater community, we're all part of a greater Masjid. And the third and last thing that Islam does to promote good mental health. And these are simple things that we all know is the salon itself. But what do I mean by that? When you look at the way the

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam approach the salon rnav hyperbola gives you the nobility to bring us comfort the salon was a comfort to Allah subhanho wa Taala to Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, but why is it a comfort? Because the salon is there to remind you that you are a slave of Allah subhanaw taala and we already spoke about the generous nature of Allah subhana wa tada and how caring Allah

00:50:00--> 00:50:45

panatela is, but the seller also reminds you that you're not just alive for this life. you're praying because you believe in the greater afterlife. you're praying because you believe in agenda and agenda and that you want to get to gender and gender is this amazing place where people do not have stress, they do not have worries, they do not have anxiety, everyone is happy. So things might not be good to now, but they definitely will be later on. And the Salah reminds us of that. The third thing that Salah gives us an opportunity of is to completely disconnect from our problems. You completely disconnect from what is going on your life to answer the call of Allah subhana wa Tada.

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And when you make Allah subhanho wa Taala a priority in your life. When you make the accurate priority in your life. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells us that Allah will rectify not only the affairs of their Acura but will rectify the affairs of their dunya as well. So you have this outlet, you have this reminder. And in this Salah you are citing Koran, the ultimate book of hope and wisdom where Allah subhanho wa Taala he tells us that not too much in law, that do not despair of the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala there is no sin that Allah cannot forgive as long as you are alive, there is no sin that Allah subhana wa tada can and will not forgive. The fact that

00:51:28--> 00:52:05

you are alive is your reminder that although what's good for you, because had a lot wanted bad, you would have died in the state of disbelief and the state of doing something bad. But the fact that you are alive or not what's good for you, this is your opportunity to turn back to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Now there's just a very brief discussion on on what I wanted to have. And what I want to conclude with is the facts and the literature. So we were talking about, do people always leave notes when they die by suicide, and statistics show that only 12 to 15% of people will actually leave notes.

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Before dying by suicide, people who talk about suicide should not be taken seriously. And this myth stems from the fact that people think that, hey, if they're going to commit suicide, they would have done it already. And the reality is no, that's not the case. People want to stay alive, people want to believe in life. But sometimes they lose perspective. So if someone is speaking about it, they've given you an amount of they've given you a trust, to hold them by the hand and bring them back to being hopeful. So not everyone that talks about suicide shouldn't be taken seriously. In fact, any hints you get taken very seriously, because I as I said, it's always better to be on the side of

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being wrong, that this person isn't thinking about suicide, and you perhaps look like a fool at that time than the person actually was. And you ignored them. Right? The regret is always much, much greater on the other side. And then we talk about children not dying by suicide, we clearly prove that wrong. That you know, 10 to 14, in Alberta alone, we had 25 cases from 2012 to 2016. And there's one question left unanswered that I want to address as well, which was why is it that the news is not talking about suicide? Then why is it that you don't report the such and such person died by suicide? Because what statistics actually show is that when you show people that have died

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by suicide, it actually enables people. So coming back to the show that I was talking about 13 reasons why that was one of the fears that psychologists had, that if you show a successful suicide, and there's no such thing as festival. So if you show someone that dying by suicide, then you're actually enabling people. And that's what actually happened. We had a young girl in Georgia that went on to Facebook Live, and wanted to show her suicide to everyone. And then we had other people across the world, trying to replicate this format of creating tapes and telling people why they're committed to doing so is dying by suicide. And people want to be empowered and enabled. So that is

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why celebrities that choose suicide, that usually isn't publicized, right. And that's because it empowers and enables people to take it away from the limelight. However, statistics also show that the more you educate people on suicide, the more you talk about suicide, the less likely they are to choose that as an option. And that is why this is a discussion that needs to take place in all schools, and all major workplaces and even in the families. Right? I will take you on a more generic level and families talking about good mental health, talking about the relationship with a law relationship with a community the importance of making dua, and never losing hope and letting your

00:54:40--> 00:54:59

children know that you unconditionally love them. And I think this is what often gets lost. Often when we show love to our children. Hey, you got good grades, Let me treat you let me get you a prize and a gift. You get bad grades. You're no longer my son. You're no longer my daughter. It's very conditional love. As parents, we have to love our children.

00:55:00--> 00:55:37

for who they are not for what they achieve, maybe they might fail this test. But in their life, they're destined to become one of the greatest contributors to the world, you don't know that. So always be very unselected with your love, be very generous with your love as parents. And then that leads to, when you're generous with your love, your children will feel comfortable enough speaking to you about the problems that they have, if you're not generous, they will not share, you are generous, they will share. Now, what do I have available on this table? This is just a very simple card, it's called help save a life. And what this is referring to is that if you know someone that

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is contemplating suicide, the number in Calgary and in Alberta is to dial 211, dial 211, it takes them directly to the prevention hotline, and the Center for distress. And you know, they can help them out if you feel that you're not able to. And likewise, it also has some guidelines and has the website and more information. So I was stuck over these that are available. The second thing that I have quite a few of is a suicide prevention primer facts and myths about suicide, have quite a few of these. And then I have other basic pamphlets. And like I said, all of these you can take whoever wants to take them can come and take them, they're yours for taking, if you don't find what you're

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looking for, you can actually go to the website, young Calgary, suicide info.ca. And all of this literature is available for free download over there as well. Or you can actually go into their center that's open Monday through Friday, from 8:30am to 4:30pm. And get all this literature there. As an oma we have a lot of work to do, we have a lot of discussions that need to be have. And we can't keep shying away from them. And that is the aim of the next three weeks in sha Allah. So last session, we spoke about homosexuality in Islam. This session was about suicide awareness. The next session we're going to be speaking about is the effects of technology and social media upon people

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that is going to be next week. And then my concluding session for the month of January is going to be on the role of women in the Muslim community, the role of women and the Muslim community. And the format is always going to be I have a small presentation, and then we open up for community discussion. So at this point, you guys are welcome to share your thoughts, ideas. And if you have questions, we can answer those questions as well. Well, Allahu ta da sallallahu Sallam robotica in the Vienna Muhammad, while the idea he was asked he said that.

00:57:35--> 00:57:37

So comments, questions, thoughts, like

00:57:39--> 00:57:51

basically, coming from Toronto, as you know, yes. Just last year in Toronto, we had three cases of suicide reported in the Muslim community. There is a particular community called region Park. Yes. And Muslims.

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Three of them in their prime youth, they committed suicide.

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They got the the basically the local Masjid, they invited some psychiatrists, and psychologists who are Muslim coming from a Muslim background. And they did a complete training for the complete community and stuff, right? So in Toronto, actually, these things are happening. And a lot of us we think that, oh, we are Muslim, it doesn't affect us. Right, actually wrong. Of course I

00:58:21--> 00:58:40

just swallow. That's very true. That's very true. In fact, I remember two months ago, when I went to New Jersey, there was a case in Washington that had happened to where a young Muslim sister, she was being bullied in school in an Islamic school I want to think about and in the times when she's being bullied, and she had ended up dying by suicides, Paula, does that look out for showing that of the law?

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I didn't collect on attempted suicide, but that would go under behavior, right? That would go under suicidal behavior. And that's usually 10% of the actual number of suicides. So the number we set is 54,700 for 2014. So they showed suicidal behavior, it will be included in that our sisters in the back can you please keep the volume down when they give you an opportunity to ask questions. So if you will have questions, you can open up the curtain that was supposed to be done before the lecture. And you can pose your questions that way or discuss your thoughts that way. Or if you want to send them up by paper, you can send them up by paper as well inshallah.

00:59:24--> 00:59:28

So if a sister wants to open up the Quran, she can do that inshallah. Go ahead.

00:59:34--> 00:59:34

Yes.

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The blue whale, right. Those aren't games online. Those are games that are played in person that, you know, in schools, there's this game that you know, if you end up on the wrong side of it, you know, you end up committing suicide. And that's why I'm saying that schools need awareness of themselves.

01:00:00--> 01:00:10

in Alberta, that game isn't very popular and prominent. As far as I know, none of the cases of blue whale took place in Alberta. But in the United States is a very big thing. In a sense, it is a very big thing.

01:00:12--> 01:00:29

So just one second. Again, this reminder, please, we have to respect other people in the masjid. Remember, we want to treat people in the masjid better than we want ourselves to be treated. And when we're speaking, we want people to listen to us. So when someone else is speaking, we need to give them an opportunity to speak please.

01:00:33--> 01:00:50

An Arabic game. Okay. Subhan Allah, if you if you find out about it, let me know. I'd be very interested to look at it. It's Fatima. Very strange. Pamela, I'll try to look it up and get more information about it. But just for sharing that anything from the sisters?

01:00:51--> 01:00:54

Like I said, you can move that quickly if you choose to, or send it up by paper inshallah.

01:00:57--> 01:00:57

Good.

01:01:09--> 01:01:10

Yes.

01:01:27--> 01:01:28

Right.

01:01:29--> 01:02:03

So to answer that question is his brother's question is that, you know, in that transition between middle school and high school, you will come across people that are suicidal, and they don't want to come forward and talk about it. And as an individual, sometimes you feel helpless, and you feel powerless to help these people what can actually be done. So going back from the things that we've learned today, the bigger mistake is to always not get involved, this person may push you away and tell you mind your own business. But it's better for you to be persistent and keep trying to discuss it with this person than to just leave them altogether. Right. So never abandon anyone altogether.

01:02:03--> 01:02:38

Number two, is that that question always comes up? At what point have I betrayed someone's trust that you have this information? Should I tell their parents should I tell the guidance counselor, the guidance counselor is trained on how to deal with these sort of scenarios. And if you tell your guidance counselor, the guidance counselor will find a way to deal with that person without them ever finding out that you're the one that you know, snitched on them or ratted them out. Because that's not the way it works. So a guidance counselor is trained to deal with all sorts of scenarios. So if you feel that, hey, I've tried everything and it's not working, then get the guidance

01:02:38--> 01:03:12

counselor involved, right and let the guidance counselor handle that situation. As I said, the worst thing that you can do is to step away, people want to feel recognized, people want to feel as if people care about them, and you being persistent, inshallah will show that. And then at that point, if you can't do anything further, yet, your guidance counselor involved, in fact, I would suggest, as you're speaking to this person, let the guidance counselor know as well. So the guidance counselor can give you more techniques on how to help this person. And if you know, this is a severe case, like I said, Call 211. Right away. If it's not a severe case, you can learn more about on the

01:03:12--> 01:03:15

website inshallah, which is applicable for asking that, right.

01:03:18--> 01:03:53

is taking depression medicine allowed? Yes, it is definitely allowed. If this is something that has been diagnosed by a psychologist and they send you to a psychiatrist. Mental health is just like any other illness. If you break your arm, you're going to go to the hospital, they're going to give you a cast, you have some sort of disease, people will give you medicine, you have diabetes, you take these pills. Same thing with mental health, someone that has depression, and the doctor tells them to take those pills. They should take those pills, but also seek other forms of counseling and advice and Islamic health and spirituality at the same time, inshallah. And your second question,

01:03:54--> 01:04:00

no second question, if that was it. Good. Question. It's regarding the medical system.

01:04:01--> 01:04:02

Yes.

01:04:05--> 01:04:06

All right.

01:04:08--> 01:04:11

The person's already kind of dying. They're struggling. Yeah.

01:04:13--> 01:04:48

So this is a much more detailed discussion that needs to be had. It's it's beyond the scope of our discussion today. But what I would suggest is for those people that want to know about the Islamic perspective on assisted suicide, this is something that should for us, Tilly deals with, so he works with the Alberta Health Services. And he actually has a detailed document on this. I'm not sure if he shared it publicly. But this is something that you can speak to him about. Because there's very there's a lot of nuances. At what point do we consider a person dead? Is it when their brain dies? Is it well what happens right? So these are nuanced questions. So for us as a document about that

01:04:48--> 01:04:53

you can speak to him about insha Allah, Allahu taala. Any questions or discussion from our sisters inshallah.

01:04:56--> 01:05:00

Like, if you have something to say, please come to the cartoon. And like I said, you can move with that question.

01:05:00--> 01:05:02

should not have been there in the first place.

01:05:04--> 01:05:16

Yeah, can you do Simon? Can you just move it all together? Yeah. Does that Calico Thank you so much. Yeah, this morning Oh to maratea the sisters that don't want to be seen they can stay on the other side. And the sisters I don't mind can, you know, ask on their show? Go ahead.

01:05:31--> 01:05:32

Yeah.

01:05:34--> 01:05:35

Right.

01:05:37--> 01:05:49

Also, you know, just when I was here, and I was telling someone that I'm coming to a suicide prevention thing in the Muslim community, and immediately the reaction is how could there be any suicide and

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I understand it as a protection, but how do you

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tell them that you know, as much as we value slop, you know, it is. I mean, it is, I got your lecture, but then again, just how do you say to the Auntie's, you know, to to our elders, seems to help this whole thing that

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we can't seem to?

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Of course, very good questions. So the first question about a person making do is asking Allah subhanaw taala to take away their life. Thank you so much.

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The first thing we need to understand is the way Allah subhanaw taala frames problems in our lives, not everyone will get the same problems. And this is why why Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us now you can live for long enough sin in our Sangha, that Allah subhanho wa Taala does not burden a soul more than it can bear. So Allah knows our capacity and he knows what we're capable of handling. And you would not to be in that situation. If you are not able to handle it, people need to be reminded of this. Number two, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam actually explicitly brothers, brothers, thank you.

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Unless via messenger sallallahu Sallam explicitly talked about this issue, where he said, Do not ask Allah subhanho wa Taala for death. But if you must, then say that, Oh Allah grant me life, as long as it is good for me, Grant me life, as long as it is good for me. So we're not explicitly asking us allowed to ask Allah subhanaw taala for death. But if you if you were wanting to add something close to it, then you ask Allah grant me life, as long as it is good for me. So bring back the first perspective is that our faith in Allah subhanaw. taala requires that we believe in a God that is merciful, and that is loving, and that is more tender towards us than our mothers are. And if that

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is the situation, some too, there are other factors that come into play that make us feel weak. Either someone constantly putting you down, you're terrible, you're disgusting, you're filthy, or even shaped on making you feel that way. Right. And that is when you need to use your faith, use your belief system to understand that, hey, that can't be the case. Because Allah would never text me with something that I can't bear. Whenever he tells me something that I can't hear. Now the question of the stigma in the Muslim community that hey, why do Muslims need to talk about suicide? Suicide is a human condition. Right? It has nothing to do with faith, it has nothing to do with

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religion, it has nothing to do with, you know, ethnicity, it is across a spectrum of human condition. So the fact that it is a human condition means that Islam has a stance on it. And it requires that Muslims need to discuss it. And that is why when you look at this literature, you find a hadith that are very explicit about this stuff, because you probably have a lot of audio. So that came to address all human conditions. So just like why would Muslims need to discuss diabetes, we've discussed diabetes, that the machine is due to the fact that it's a human condition, and that it could happen to anyone, any one of us. So we need the Islamic perspective, we need the social

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perspective. And we need a holistic perspective. And that is why you know, Muslims should no longer feel that we're immune to anything. Right? All of these discussions are being had, because these are conditions in our Muslim community, and you can't hide from them. We need to educate ourselves and move forward.

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Now we'll take two last questions from the sisters and we'll conclude with that. What do you do when your family doesn't talk to you when you feel suicidal, they merely send you to non Muslims. Let's look at the second one as well.

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They say that thinking of suicide is Kufa or can get you out of Islam. Okay, so let's address the second one first. Thinking of suicide is not covered and cannot get you out of Islam. Allah subhanaw taala does not hold you accountable for your thoughts or for your feelings. Unless final doubt holds you accountable for your intentions and for your actions. Right. So if you made intention, and you followed up by action, that's when you're held accountable. And then we discussed that even the action wouldn't have itself is a major sin in Islam, but it would not take you out of the fold of Islam.

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Within of itself, right, but one has to be very, very wise that just because something is not covered, it doesn't mean it is something that should be engaged in, we don't want to engage in any major sense, right? Then that is why the prophets of Allah when you see them huge, such strong language as a deterrent, that the person will be prevented from Paradise, and that the person will continuously do this in the hellfire. So it is not comfortable and of itself. But one does not mean that just because it's not confirmed that they can engage in it. Now, this comes back to the issue of the family not showing unconditional love, and a person feeling suicidal, and the constantly

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being sent to non Muslims. So being sent to a non Muslim specialist is not a bad thing wouldn't have itself, right. Particularly in this sort of issue when a person is suicidal. The techniques that they use have very little to do with religion, because what they're trying to focus on right away is to get you safe, and then to talk about your problems. So they talk about why you're in this situation, why are you feeling this way, what was causing this and how you can get out of it, right, and a lot of it is you talking and trying to feel better and navigating your way out. So religion doesn't play that much of a factor in these sort of situations. However, if a person is looking for

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Muslim psychologists, there are Muslim psychologists that are available.

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I can't remember the one in Calgary, but the one in Edmonton, Dr. Mohammed sodic, a very well known Muslim psychologist, and he's someone that can be reached out to to for help. He does counseling over the phone counseling over Skype and counseling in person if a person wants to see them. But the bigger issue over here is the family doesn't want to talk to you when you feel suicidal. As we learned today, that is a huge mistake. Everyone wants to feel loved. Everyone wants to feel recognized. Everyone wants to feel as if they're a part of a community, everyone wants to feel as if they're a part of the family. And certain times we all make mistakes in our family that will you

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know, become a group against a small group, and that person feels isolated. Now, particularly when a person feels isolated, that is when they're most vulnerable, right? Because I saw them, he says in there by taco minahasa, that, indeed, the wolf will devour the lone sheep. That is why we never leave anyone behind that even in JAMA, a person should not pray in a single SFX by themselves, right? There is this wisdom behind it that we don't leave anyone behind. So that said, we particularly in family, we need to get back to showing unconditional love, coming back to being humane and merciful. And a person has made a mistake, let us talk and discuss how we can come

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together and get over that mistake. Because at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do to eliminate that relationship of family. Nothing allies chosen there for you, you have to live with it. So now that you might as well make it a good situation by talking and discussing and moving forward. Now I know I said I'd only do two but depending on the nature of this question, I might do this last third one.

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It's a very easy question. Some people say that if you go to a janazah of a Muslim who committed suicide, you'll have to fast two or three days Is this true? There is no evidence for this whatsoever. There's no basis for this whatsoever. And how a person died is not something we should be particularly concerned with. But attending the agendas of every person that is announced we should do that to the best of our ability. We will conclude with that the panic alone will become like a shadow on the island. The stock will go to the lake