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Muslim Family Values In A Secular Society

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Navaid Aziz

Channel: Navaid Aziz

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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shifting the V disease is one of the latest additions to animals ribs instructor instructor lineup, as well as one of their youngest. from Montreal, Quebec. He obtained a degree in economics and social science. Thereafter he went to the Islamic University of Medina, where he spent three years attaining an associate's degree in Arabic before attaining his bachelor's degree in Sharia. schicken ovitch serves the community as a marriage and youth counselor. His most recent project is called my spiritual fix, and can be [email protected] spiritual fixed.com without further ado, I would like to call our beloved brother shift and if he dies, he needs to come and address our topic.

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In Al Hamdulillah Nakamoto who wants to know when to stop when I was with that human surely unforeseen a woman say yeah, Dr. Molina, Maria de la dama De La da da

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da da da La ilaha illAllah hula hula de cada

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Muhammad Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa it he was he was seldom at the Sleeman kathira about my dear brothers and sisters as salaam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

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I want to share a culture shock with you that I experienced from 2001 to 2008. I was in the beloved and beautiful city of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Having spent seven years of my life there, when I came back to Montreal, things had drastically changed. One of those drastic changes was that I had gone to Medina, a single man and I came back to Montreal, I was married, and I had a beautiful baby girl at that time.

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Now, when I came back, one of the things that was on my mind was how will I educate my daughter. Now one of the activities that I thought of, you know, one of the things I would like her to have instilled in her is love for books, that is a passion that I personally have. So from a very young age, even though she was unable to read, I got her books that she would flick through. And one of the activities we used to do with actually go to a bookstore, and join other kids in reading. Now I had the shock of my life when we once went to a bookstore, and I randomly just let her look through the books. And she comes up to me and she says Baba, this is the book that I want. Now before I tell

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you what that book was, how many people remember my little pony Does anyone remember my little pony though, you know that doll for girls that they have. So you know what I'm talking about. So this book had a picture of that pony. And the title of the book was the Prince and the prince. And I had the shock of my life. Because I flicked through the book. And the concept behind this book was that there was a prince who sought out happiness, and he went from princess to Princess, but he was unable to find it. Then one day he came across the prince and and all of a sudden he found his happiness in life. And I thought to myself, are they really instilling this into five year old kids.

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And at that point, I actually thanked a lot that my daughter was unable to read. Because there she read that book, you know, I would have some serious issues to deal with at home. The point I want to raise is that the people who control the narrative of a society will also control its level of morality. Now, when you look at religious narrative, you will see that there are certain reoccurring themes, every religion as different as it may be in terms of its creed, and in terms of its theology. It promotes respect for parents, and respect. It promotes respect for the elderly, it promotes standing up for the weak and for the oppressed. It promotes giving charity, these things

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are consistent pretty much in every single faith. Now when it comes to secularism, however, when it comes to secularism, you will see there's a problem, that it doesn't have a constant narrative, that the narrative in secularism is something that develops itself, through individual experience through individual experience, and it changes from time to time. Now, with that being the case, what people have found correct today and amiable today, 10 years ago was not the case, because it is something that developed. Whereas when it comes to the religious narrative, it is something that stays constant from the beginning of its foundation, all the way till the Day of Judgment. Now, this is

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something I want to bring you through in terms of the dichotomy between the two and some of the major differences and how it affects the family. So firstly, when it comes to the religious narrative, there's a very high emphasis, a very heavy emphasis on God, a creator and accountability. Whereas when it comes to secularism, there is no concept of God there is no concept of creator and you are pretty much accountable to yourself alone.

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And the authority in your society. And pretty much even the authority in your society a lot of the times will not hold you accountable. Even on my way here today, I was in a hurry. And I didn't have my seatbelt on, you know, something we teach our kids put your seatbelt on whenever you get into the car, and I drove by some cops and unlike law, in the in the law, if this guy sees me, I'm getting pulled over, and I'm going to be late for my talk. I drove by the police officer, I waved at him. And he didn't even do anything. I was like, a little awkward, you know, I was meant to be here on time.

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Number two, the second dichotomy that you will see is that man is a spiritual being, who is having a human experience in religious narrative man is a spiritual being having a human experience. Whereas when you look at the role of man in secularism, he is an evolved animal. So you will see that this plays a big difference that as human beings from a religious narrative, we are meant to seek out that relationship with God, the relationship with our Creator, our relationship that we so heavily depend upon. Whereas when it comes to secularism, mankind is told that you evolved, and you will continue to evolve, and therefore you have no purpose, except for the purpose that you decide to

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choose for yourself. Number three, when it comes to secularism, there are no absolute standards of life, but rather the standards of life will change according to what you want to do. And what becomes even more perverse is that when it becomes so individualistic, people no longer have the rights to tell you to do this, and not to do that. Whereas when it comes to the religious narrative, we are taught from the very getgo, what is moral, and what is immoral, what is good, and what is bad. And what takes it even a step further, is that this narrative is enforced, that as Muslims, we have this concept known as Hezbollah, known as enjoining, the good and forbidding the evil, that if

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you look at early Islamic Society at the time of the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam, there's no particular mention of a police force. Why is that the case, that is the case is because each Muslim, held it upon his own shoulders, to make sure that society was moral. And that moral acts were committed there in if there were any immoral acts, it was upon the Muslim himself to go out and change that morality, either with his hand with his tongue, or at the very least Hadith in his heart. And the last point that I want to mention over here is the role of the family in secularism versus that of the religious narrative, the nuclear family and secularism is that of social

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evolution. And it's just a number of possible forms of social organization. Meaning that if you happen to have a family, this is just considered social evolution, we are just progressing. And this is just one of the ways that we can come together to form smaller groups. So it doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be a man and a woman, it could be a man and a man, a woman and a woman. And pretty sure, you know, as disgusting as may sound, you may even see animals in human beings, you know, we seek protection from Allah in that. Whereas in the religious narrative, it has always been that a man and a woman are the foundation of the society, they develop a human family, they raise

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children with ethical standards, and that is how society continues. And you'll see there's a very heavy emphasis on this. Now, this brings us directly into our subjects today, because this is where the major issues and conflict arise, that when it comes to procreation and marital conflict, this is where the major conflict takes place, between religion and secular values. As for secular values, there is no real concept of marriage, they do not cherish the marital concept or the institution of marriage. Thus, an individual can get together with another individual and procreate, and there is no

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consequence for that it is something that is socially acceptable, whereas in religion, in order to fulfill that innate desire of procreation, an individual has to get married within other individual, there are commitments, there are promises there are vows, and then there are responsibilities towards one another. So now, when it comes to procreation, and you I'm going to share some statistics with you, if you do not have a nuclear family with a mother and a father, a father being the role model and the manly presence, the mother being the cherisher and the caregiver, and this is not present for both the child and future generations, you will see the consequences of it they're

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in. Now secondly, when it comes to marital conflict, you will see that the religious narrative it suggests

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hive really promotes that reconciliation takes place. In religion, divorce is considered a very terrible, terrible thing. Whether it be Christianity, Judaism, even Islam, for divorce to take place, it is highly, highly disliked and should only take place when there's a need or necessity they're in. However, when it comes to secular values, that is not the case, when it comes to secularism you choose according to your own basic interests, and what you feel at that current time. Do you want to continue this marriage? Or do you want to stop? Now what are the consequences of this? This is what I would like to share with you right now.

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When it comes to human development, you will see that the leading cause of depression amongst children is divorce amongst their parents. 75% of adolescent patients at chemical abuse centers come from single parent families. 63% of youth suicides come from single parent families. 70% of teen pregnancies come from single parent families 75% of juveniles in youth corrections facilities come from single parent families. Now you will see that when it comes to religion, a lot of the times we may not understand why it is called God commanded to do this, why does God recommend this for us. But you eventually come to the conclusion that anything that God recommends, and anything that God

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commands, there is usually a benefit in it for you yourself as an individual. God does not legislate anything, except that there is a Muslim, that there is a benefit for your world, this one and the hereafter. So now you see that it is very important to cherish Islamic and religious values in particular, because if we go down the other path, where this constitution of marriage has no value, and our concept of morality is something that is relative, and something that is subjective, then we are taking our own grapes. And this is becoming a major problem, not only in our society and community as Muslims, but in the global phenomenon all together. Now in 20 minutes, there's not

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really much that you can discuss, but I want to discuss some of the fundamental Islamic values that are represented in terms of the family. Number one is that in a Muslim family, the man is responsible, he will be held accountable in the sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala for providing for his wife and children, their food, their clothing, and their shelter. In secularism, that is not the case. Number two, if a woman were to earn any money in Islam, it is impermissible for the man to take any of that money without her consent. Now if a woman decides to share her wealth, inshallah it's a very good thing. Allah subhanho wa Taala will reward her however it is the man's

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responsibility to provide for the woman and for his family. Number three, in Islam, and in religion in general, we're commanded to treat the spouses with courtesy love and mercy. The term that Allah subhanho wa Taala uses in the Quran is the refundable kawari that have gentleness and mercy towards the opposite gender. Likewise, if you look at how Allah subhanho wa Taala describes the relationship between a man and a woman, a husband and wife was anabaena como de tanwar, Rama, that Allah subhanho wa Taala created affection and compassion amongst the two. And this is what a marital relationship is supposed to be. And lastly, look at the prophetic example. There's one particular example that I

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love sharing with the audience. And that is a conversation that took place between the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I know many natural law that one day he comes to inshallah de la Juana. And he says here is a nickname that he had for her. He says, I know when you're upset with me, and I know when you're pleased with me. Now, the number one complaint that most women have against their husband, is my husband never pays attention to anything that I say. But you look at the example of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam that is coming up. Not only does he pay attention to the message that is being conveyed to him, but he's also paying attention to the wording behind it as well. So I

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said that your loved one are very inquisitive. She asked me out of Sula, how am I with you when I have when I'm upset and how am I with you when I'm content? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam goes on to say, oh is when you are upset with me. You say by the Lord of Abraham, such and such will happen and by the Lord of Ibrahim you shall do such and such. And when you are pleased with me, you say by the Lord of Mohammed such and such

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You will happen and by the Lord of Muhammad, you shall do such and such. Now you may think that I shall have the law one has put in the predicament because if you look at the woman in the past, they were known to be very intelligent, very clever. And it's a reoccurring theme women always have the final word in every conversation of a man ever thinks he has the final word. It's just a new conversation that has begun.

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So now getting back to this conversation, I showed a doula Juana, she was going to have the final word. And she says something so profound, so beautiful, is that instances like this, I really feel that we really need to encourage our children to go back and read the Koran go back and read the seal of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. Because when you look for true love, you don't need to look at Romeo and Juliet and Layla and Jones, and every other story, they always end with like one party committing suicide and you know, being separated. But you look at the example of Isla de la one time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, she goes on to conclude, she says Jada Salalah,

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even though the name may change on my tongue, my love for you, always stays in my heart. And you look at that, and this is what true love is actually about. So when you want to talk about family values, Allah subhanho wa Taala sent the most perfect and beautiful of examples, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and to find the solution to every social ills in society, you will find it in this era of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Now, in conclusion, there was a term that Imam Zaid mentioned in this and I showed this to Brother orthotic,

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the schizophrenic persona that is created not only amongst Muslims, but amongst the youth in general in our times, that schizophrenic persona consists of the following, that we tell our children when you grow up, you have to be successful, you have to be able to provide for yourself, and you have to be an individual who is looked at as a role model. And we encourage them to become individuals who pursue this worldly life, predominantly from a financial pursuit. However, what we fail to instill and encourage our children to do is that the only way you will truly be successful in this world is if you have a good foundation of ethical and moral values. And if the to the pursuit of financial

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freedom, and the pursuit of every other freedom is not incomplete, accompanied by a foundation of moral values and a high standard of ethics. is the former actually worth anything without the latter. So now how do we actually attain children and families who are pursuing the best of this world and the best of the hereafter? Number one, we ourselves as parents have to become righteous individuals. Children do not become righteous by forcing them to read the Koran. Children do not become righteous by forcing them to madrasahs and Saturday schools, children will become righteous when they see their own parents paying Salah children will become righteous. When they see love and

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affection in their parents, children will become righteous when they see their own parents waking up in the middle of the night. While they are begging for milk. The parents are begging to Allah to provide for them in this world and the hereafter. So you yourself have to be a righteous individual in order for your progeny to be righteous as well. Number two, it is imperative that parents spend time with their children. In our times were both the husband and the wife are working. Often we take the easy solution, we will get a babysitter, or we put our children in front of the TV hoping that they will take care of themselves. However, if you really care for your children, know that in order

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for them to be successful, you have to be there for them. They need to feel your love. They need to see your example and they need your presence in their lives. You may think it is insignificant, but you will see how drastic an individual and a child who has had the love of both parents is as opposed to an individual and a child who has either the love of one parent alone or have no parents at all. And lastly, my last point of advice is familiarizing yourself with the religious narrative itself, that in order to progress in order to advance with

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spirituality with comfort with everything else that we desire as Muslims, the very first step amongst all these other steps needs to be familiarity with the religious narrative, that how can you know what is

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Would what is correct? What do you want to instill in your children, if you are not familiar with the religious narrative itself, and this is a call that very word that Allah subhanho wa Taala sent it down to you the very example that Allah subhanho wa Taala sent to you through the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, if you truly want to be successful in this world and the Hereafter, Allah subhanho wa Taala gave you that solution. You just need to go out and reach it. I pray to Allah subhanho wa Taala in concluding that Allah subhanho wa Taala rectifies our affairs as individuals and as families and as a community all together and that Allah subhanho wa Taala grants

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us the best of this world and the best of the hereafter. Welcome to downline and Family Law Hello Bill alameen wa sallahu wa Sallim wa barik ala nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Salaam Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh