Channel: Musleh Khan
Series: Musleh Khan - Life with Children
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Cinema is a commodity to learn about a cat to everyone. Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim, Al hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was salam, ala rasulillah were buried. So this is, I think it's part 14, Part 14 or 15 of our series in family life or life with children. So I've got my few points that I wanted to share with you today of just basically five tips of how to remain productive as a family, how did you continue to grow and understand and interact with some of the things that we've talked about in all of the previous episode. So let's get right into it. When we're talking about productivity as a family, just keep in mind that this is something our religion has constantly taught to and continues
to teach through all of the knowledge and explanations and teachings we have. being productive and constantly working on yourself and improving not just as a parent, not just as a student. But just as a believer, as a Muslim. You're always looking for ways and different avenues that you can improve in terms of education, in terms of your commitment, all of the things that you need to be an overall good person and a good Muslim. So with that being said, let's get right into just five things that I wanted to share with you in sha Allah Butera that they all come from the Quran and Sunnah. And so the first one is to put to Allah subhanho wa Taala first. So at the end of the day,
this is one of the things that we spoke about, I believe it was the second installment of the series, in where when the man early has set up His teaching his child, all of these wonderful pieces of advice, the first thing that he teaches him is don't commit shellcode with Allah don't associate with Allah. And that's core ends way of saying there is always that higher authority. So you put a lot first before you put yourself and anyone else.
The Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam did say that none of us will ever have complete and complete belief. Unless we love him more than we love our own parents and our children. Meaning at the end of the day, this is the methodology that we follow that we trust, and we do our best to love and appreciate. So that way we can, we can take some of those teachings and apply them in our own lives. So we become better people, we become better Muslims. So the first thing is to always put Allah subhanho wa Taala. First before anything and everything. There are a couple of things I want to mention with this first point, number one, if you talk about self control, so those moments where
you get frustrated, stressful and angry, as a parent or as a child, having Allah subhanho wa Taala in your life, the first priority and anything and everything keeps you under control keeps you poise because why you fear a higher authority. So at the end of the day, you want to react, you want to say something, something upsets you or frustrates you, but you hold back. And when you hold back and you do this for the sake of if I say something I'm going to regret, it allows listening to me, if I do something, I'm going to regret it, Allah is watching me. So if you start thinking this way that you're constantly being monitored, it keeps you under control SubhanAllah. So that's the first
point. The second point is that there's always hope when you have Allah subhanho wa Taala in your life. So when all of those difficult times those unbearable moments in parenting and just family life, having a life so agile always gives you that sense of hope that things will improve and things will become better. So it's really important that not just from a religious perspective that we have Allah in our life that we pray to and we worship, but Allah subhanho wa Taala that presence in that connection can actually help us remain happy content, and peaceful in every circumstance, especially the people that you live with, obviously, the people that you live with, now our Prophet alayhi
salaatu wa sallam told us hydrocodone, hydrocodone Li or another narration, the autocomplete autocomplete entity, that the best of you are the ones that treat your family in the best way. So if you're good to your family, then you're good to everybody else. Why does the process that I say that, because at the end of the day, these are the people that you live with. They're the most difficult people to tolerate in your life. But it's this at the same token, you can't live without them. And so the process sometimes is telling us that with patience and self control with your family, by default, you will be able to do this with everyone around you everybody in your life,
everyone you encounter and you meet. So it's really important brothers and sisters about having a lot of the priority. So you fear him before you fear anything else and anyone else. Number two, is to forgive and forget. So forgive and forget. Yeah, there are going to be moments where your children you're the
To the young adults, members of that family, they're going to hit a nerve. And that nerve is going to be, it's going to have a permanent, long lasting effect that you're going to have memories of maybe something your daughter or your son said to you, or they did to you, that you simply can't forget. And if you are a parent, you know that this is 100% possible, that you'll have these kinds of interactions where there are going to be those moments that hurt you more than anything else. Look, an example of this is, you know, when a friend tells you that, you know, you're annoying, or you smell or you know, something they say to you. But the point is, you take offense to that, it's
easy to kind of just make up and just continue with life as friends, it's easy to talk it out, it's easy to just be like, you know what, you're so annoying when you said that, but whatever, let's go, let's go have coffee or whatever, right? But when your parents or somebody in the family says something similar. You know, it could be as simple as you know, I can't stand sitting around you because you're annoying. You talk too much. When it comes from family. It's, it's 100 times worse. And it could it's so much different. It's just like when your parents give you advice, if a stranger or a friend or somebody domestic say to you don't gotta be a good Muslim, alright, that's the only
way to be successful, you got to be a good believer. That's one thing, it's information. It's a reminder, when your father or your mother tells you, you know, I want you to be a good Muslim, I want you to be someone pleasing to Allah, it's just different. It's different when parents say it's different when kids say it, and hurtful words, when they come from members of the family. It's it could be even devastating, it could have the worst long lasting effects. So how, what is one way that we could heal that whole situation, that whole process a little quicker, forgive, forget it, put it aside, especially if it's not something major, if it's something really petty, just put it
away? Who cares? That's literally the attitude. This is one healing method and even experts use around the world is to have the ability to just forgive your kids, forgive your parents move on, don't hold grudges. And at least from a religious perspective, the the Muslims that are listening to this, we know very well, that holding grudges on anyone, let alone your family is not a good scenario for a believer. So in other words, in other words,
to hold on to something that you know, can be resolved, but you choose not to, it reflects, you know, in not in not in a good way with respect to your faith, it could be an indication that of course, you may have weak faith with Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because Allah loves to forgive. So the fact that a lot love something, we should love it too. Secondly, is that you don't know when time is up, you don't know. I mean, we're living in a world where we're getting a very hard global lesson on the reality of time. And so not to take things for granted. And not to take the moments that you have with family for granted. And this is one of the wisdoms why lockdown and everybody is saying
it, you know to be with family, it's an opportunity to interact with family to get closer to family, you know why? Because they are the only people that you have left in this world of hope, of direction of guidance. And so if there are things in the way for you to discover and see and experience that one healing method, just forgive each other, bury the hatchet, do whatever it is, especially when these things are pity, when there are major issues in the family. That's a different scenario, you need help in that case. So that could have somebody a third party intervening, I try to counsel the situation, but the point is your family. So whatever problems you have, no matter how
major they are, this should be problems that you can work through resolve and simply move on. This is This is by far one of the best qualities and most beloved qualities of Allah subhanho wa Taala in a believer number three is to find hobbies, common hobbies, as a family. So play board games, find a social life, smile, laugh, do something. But it's critical that it's done as a family. You know, very often the daughter, she's on her iPad, the son is on his cell phone, and everybody else in the family has got their own digit somewhere. They're their own get,
excuse me, their own digital device. That's what I want to say, their own digital device somewhere that's sitting watching TV mom could be on the phone and everybody is just kind of together, but they're separate at the same time. And this goes on even at the dinner table. You know you have one of the kids there, they're still on their phone, they break, take a spoon of food and go back to their phone. It's like all of this stuff. There's no connection and that's what hobbies does hobby.
Or just finding an activity that makes all of you laugh and enjoy each other's company. By default, it turns that family into even a friendship, you start depending and looking out for each other, because why, even through the bad times, but now the good times you appreciate each other, it is absolutely crucial and essential. One of the fundamental parenting tips that experts around the world give is to find activity as a family. You know, I read an article A long time ago of a mother who raised a four year old genius. Her article mentioned why. And while she did that, when we say a four year old genius, this kid, four years old, was already reading fluently, they were able to
calculate they were good at math, they could spell tons and tons of words and things like that. They were able to write sentences, and four years old. So when she was asked, What did you do, and how did you do it? Her only response was I removed the TV from my house. So it forced my kid to that when she got bored. She found activities to do, she got a book, she started drawing, and then that turned into she started trying to write and then she would look at books and copy the letters and it just spiraled like that. And she goes literally I just removed the TV. We haven't had a TV in the house for years. And I thought some handle luck when you find something common. So the mother could
be a studious student or person. And now the kids see that and they start reflecting that same behavior. So finding something to do that's productive as well. So aside from work, play some games, go outside, jump around, you know, go for walks, bike ride something, and this is all a game. Some of the prophetic traditions of our messenger are the Select was, you know, there is a narration of Irish out of the alumni head. This is an authentic narration narrated and as soon as I'd be dead would that one day she was writing on her horse the process one was writing on his horse and there was a party a group of sahab is ahead of them. So prophesised allowed that to group of sahabas to
continue their journey. And he stopped and his wife stopped there. I showed her the love line that they descended off of their horses and a prophet Allah Azza wa sallam decided that, Okay, you know what, let's have a race manager. This is in the middle of the desert and they start running with each other. What are they doing? Just having fun, no strings attached. He's not going to start teaching her how to eat or something as they're sprinting down in the middle of desert. They're just talking and they're just having a wonderful time and they start laughing. So the first time the Prophet it says was Salaam. He lost that race and Chateau de la vida, she said, you know, she's
narrating and telling the story. And she's like, I was fit enough that I won the race. later on. When I showed her the Alomar. Now she gained a little weight, she slowed down a little bit. The Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam decides a second time to do the exact same thing. So they're on a journey, he tells the rest of the companions move ahead, they both get off their horses. And he's like, I want a rematch. So they start racing again. And because I was a little slower the second time around the profit it subtle said I'm wonder race. And he told her, I wanted to race you this time because I knew I had an advantage. And so Pamela, they laughed it off. And it just continued
with their journey. So find some some kind of common ground where you can just literally laugh and have fun. Number four. Number four is of course,
patience, patience, patience. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is perfect. So the disadvantages, the lack of certain abilities that your kids might have, that your parents might have, you know, I wish my parents were select so and so I wish my parents were more younger, or they were more strong, where they were more understanding, or I wish my kids could have been happy they'll Colorado wish they could have learned this acoustic could have became a doctor. You know, that's fine if you have certain desires, and you have like certain, you know, objectives in life that you want. But at the end of the day, the scenario and what Allah put in front of you, be patient with it, and accept it
for what it is. And understand that. At the end of the day, we're human beings, students that are listening to this, your parents, human beings, parents, your children are not toys, they're not furniture, they are human beings too. They're not perfect. When teenagers make mistakes, when they say things they shouldn't say when they get themselves involved into things that they shouldn't be involved with. Guess what? They're being teenagers. just mean that it's acceptable doesn't mean that we should just let it go and be like, okay, it's a phase let it happen. Don't speak up, try to deal with the situation. But at the end of the day, forgive forget move on be patient because why we're
all human beings. kulu Benny, Adam Hawthorne, or hadal hopper in a tower boy. Our messenger early slides with Salaam told us human enterprises always subject to mistake. And the best of those who make mistakes are the ones who are willing to forgive. So keep that in mind. And last and fifth and final point.
is perhaps maybe the most important. If you can't do the first four, then at least the fifth and final one is the most important and that is Dora. Dora, Dora. Our Prophet alayhi salaatu wa sallam tells us the door of parents is never rejected. And the scholars they tell us that even if that door is against your own family, it'll still be accepted, some kind of luck. Like that's the emphasis. And the fact that Allah made that after his perfecting worship with him. What came up comes immediately after an almost a dozen verses is to be good to parents, shows that at the end of the day, the door of these two individuals in particular parents is very special. It's very different.
It's a very unique and it's literally one of the places and one of the moments in our lives, that our doors is always listened to when you become a parent. And so for parents, it's really really absolutely critical. You never stop praying. Allah subhanaw taala says Eva Latina MnO of people of a man who enforce Sakuma illegal now to protect yourself and your family from the fire. Some of the scholars have
explained that protection in this area means to make a duel to Allah that's protection. So make dua to Allah that He gives you all the things to say and do so that you are protected you and your family from the fire. So it's a duty, it's not just something that we do for for the world, but at a community level at a global level at a political level. No. This is something that you do for the same person that is beside you every single day of your life. The person that you raise the person that you live with the person that you wake up and you see each and every day, they are also just as deserving and maybe even more than anyone else. And so with that being said, keep in mind also when
profits are you slept with Salaam tells us the best of you are the ones who are best to their parents, excuse me best to their family. Some of the scholars also explained the clinical here is the best that you can do for your family is pray for them. So in the process of sentencing is the best you can be is the best of you is the one who is best to their parents, meaning the best of you who are praying are the ones who allocate the majority of your dollars to your family. So praying for them and making to offer them in sha Allah it works both ways, even for the kids. Our Prophet is not to Salaam told us that when parents pass away, their the Dora of children is never rejected, it
continues and they benefit from that door even in their graves. So if that's happening in their graves, what about when they're still alive? So keep praying for your parents. No matter how annoying they may be praying, keep praying for your children, no matter how much they may drive you nuts. It is dwad that heals the problems of the world, the stresses of life, that we as human beings do not have the capacity nor the strength to solve. May Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to reward all of you and protect all of you and your families. These are five tips to help you become more productive as a family. And I hope and I pray that it was beneficial in the long term. So with that
being said, start from a low height and take care of you and until we meet again. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh