Ask Musleh – I wanna get married but my parents say wait

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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No more on equal more to law, he will better care to brothers and sisters and welcome to Ask Muslim. So today we're talking about you want to get married, but your parents, they're not saying to you No, but they're just saying to you wait, not yet, maybe later. So what do you do? The first thing, brothers and sisters is a very standard way of dealing with an issue like this because remember, at the end of the day, this is not an ordinary individual telling you have to wait, this is your mother or your father or even both of them. Allies. So Adele says don't even say oath to them, which is an expression to me. Don't even think about disobeying them if you can at least erase that thought out

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of your mind. Try to do that. So what I'm getting to here is that at this point when it comes to your marriage, yes, brothers and sisters, if you can put yourself in second place, try to obey your parents. Why? Because Allah azza wa jal simply orders us that we have to obey our parents to the best of our ability. This is why several times and the poor and Allah is always telling us to worship Him. And when he's done subhanho, wa Taala, then the next thing is be good to your parents. That's the emphasis Allah puts on this. So if it means that you can delay, of course, without falling into any sins without falling into any other problems, then by all means, brothers and

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sisters, your parents deserve it, your parents deserve a little bit of that patience from you try to hold yourself together in to a reasonable amount of time. So if they say, Look, I don't want you to get married. Now, I want you to wait for another two for three or five years. That's not very reasonable. But if they say, look, delay the ceremony for another six months, or delayed for another three months, let's talk about things a little bit more, let's make a better plan. That that's worth considering. So the first thing is, you mentally prepare yourself to obey your parents. However, I completely understand some parents out there are just not reasonable at all with their kids. So the

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second thing is brothers and sisters, be honest with your parents and talk to them. Let them know exactly how you feel. Don't try to go in and out or behind or things like that, to try to find loopholes of getting to getting through to your parents. Don't get a stranger to come and say, Look, talk to my mom, because she won't listen to me. She needs help. Don't do that to your parents, you're the child go up to them, be the mature individual, show them that you're ready to take on this responsibility of getting married. And let them see that honesty from you. I'll tell you brothers and sisters, from my own experience. And from the experience of other people that I've

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counseled in the past, this always works. It's always positive in sha Allah, that once you're honest, and you approach your parents fee subete enough for the sake of a lie. So a jump alone just always makes things easy. And parents do see something mature in their kids. The third and the final advice that I'll give you brothers and sisters is if dealing is not an option for you because of sin and mistake and things like that. Don't make this decision on your own to go and marry without your parents involvement or their permission, or in this case, their their blessing. Try to have somebody to mend and soften that relationship between you. So if it means that you say to your parents, look,

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I can't get married. I can't delay the marriage any longer. But the Imam or someone is going to help talk us through this or is it going to help them mediate mediate the situation, then try to consider doing that. Get somebody that your parents respect to get involved and speak to them and find out what really their concerns are. There's so much that we can say you know, one of the reasons why parents delay things like this is because they themselves are afraid of something. They themselves have issues that they want to get out on the table, but they just don't know how to speak it to you, they may be able to do it with a third party. So try to get a third party, somebody that will

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respect your parents give them the honor and dignity that they deserve, but at the same time be able to advise them in a mature respectful manner. So with these three things insha Allah, I hope that Allah so which will makes it easy for you said Mr. Li Kumara Tula he will