The Etiquette of Disagreement – Episode 05
Channel: Muhammad West
File Size: 11.77MB
Etiquettes between husband and wife
“It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and (then) He has created from him his wife (Hawwa (Eve)), in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her”Surah Al A’raaf 7:189
Secret to a happy marriage
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”Surah Ar-Rum 30:21
Closer than a garment
“They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them”Surah Al Baqarah 2:189
The Prophet said:
“The most complete of the Believers in their Imaan are those who have the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.”Tirmidhi and Ahmad
“… And live with them in kindness and on equitable terms. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.”Surah An Nisaa 4:19
“Men are the carers of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth…”Surah An Nisaa 4:34
“This world is (filled) with delights, and the best delight of this world is a righteous wife.”Narrated by Muslim, 1467; Ibn Maajah, 1855
Al-Haakim narrated in al-Mustadrak from Anas, in a marfoo’ report: “Whomever Allaah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.”
O Messenger of Allaah, what kind of wealth should we acquire? He said: “Let one of you acquire a thankful heart, a tongue that remembers Allaah and a believing wife who will help him with regard to the Hereafter.”Narrated and classed as Hasan by al-Tirmidhi (3094)
“If a woman does her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter whichever of the gates of Paradise you want.” Umm Salama said that Rasūl Allāh (S) said: ‘If a woman dies in a state when her husband is pleased with her, she will enter Paradise’(al-Tirmidhī) Narrated by Ahmad (1/191)
“Shall I not tell you about your women in Paradise?” We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah. He said:
“The loving and affectionate wife who, if she gets angry or is mistreated or her husband gets angry says, ‘Here is my hand in your hand, I shall not sleep until you are pleased.’”Narrated by al-Tabarani
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: It was said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): Which of women is best? He said: “who when you look at her she brings you joy and if you request of her to do something she obliges you, and if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth.”Narrated by al-Nasaa’i (3131)
And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring coolness to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.Surah Al Furqan 25:74
rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Shafi mousseline Sayidina Muhammad Ali, he was my beloved brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
All Praise be to Allah subhanho wa Taala the Most Merciful the most kindness, either halal law IV witnessed that nun has the right to be worshipped except Allah soprano dialer and we send our choices blessings Salutations, greetings our beloved Nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the final of all messengers and the greatest of all creation. May Allah bless and praise the family of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his pious companions and all those who follow the shouldn't have been obese also live until the end of time. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to keep us steadfast on the student of the results Alam May Allah grant us to be any sooner in this life and to
be his companion in the life of the death. I mean, may Allah subhanho wa Taala bless as soon as walkthough Juma Allah bless you and your families, my family, my Los Banos, Allah put Baraka in all our phase of the dunya and the Acura, forgive our sins, and Allah guide us to the next week be better than the week to come. Meanwhile, hamdulillah
Al Hamdulillah, we continue this discussion on personal disagreements, the etiquette of disagreement, and we looked at different relationships, how to manage those relationships in terms of Sharia, we've discussed certain rules and framework where we said, for example, and inshallah, when we're done will bless these rules, but we don't break any relationship for the sake of the dunya. When it comes to parents, we always submit and humble ourselves to them, only give them the best. We spoke about siblings, and we say that Allah subhanaw taala selected these people to be in our life. And this will be the longest relationship in our life, our siblings. And as we conclude on
that issue, understand that our relationship with siblings, especially in the current time, is one of those relationships, which is generally neglected. You know, some of us when we grew up, we didn't have iPads and phones and those things you had to play with your brothers and sisters. Now you find that our kids, my kids, each one is in their own corner, watching their own tablet, don't play with one another as kids. And as we get older, we suit we sort of lose touch with our siblings, because other relationships are more important. Yet this is a bond, which is important for us to maintain Allah subhanaw taala has made it such that we will even inherit from one another after that
Allah has put these people in our lives, and all of us need to look at how we bond we keep the bond. So those family members, which you cannot get rid of those relationships, you can't break, you can't divorce your parents, you can't become there's no divorce myself from my brother, they are stuck with us until the law has decreed that these are your family members. They are the people of the time that you are connected through blood. And this must always be maintained and preserved. Interesting. While I did research on you know, on this topic, there was a study done by Harvard, you know, and you can google this, the long one of the longest studies of 80 years they were doing a
study. So in the 1930s, during the Great Depression, Harvard University, they took a bunch of people, I think a few 100 people, young 100, young men, young boys, they asked him, What would they like to achieve their aspirations? What would make them happy in life? And obviously, like, no, I would say money, wealth, power, prestige, fame, all those things they wanted. So they track these the lives of these people over 80 years, 80 years. amongst the people that was in that group was actually President Kennedy. He wasn't pleased you saw a young boy. And so some of them became president, some of them became very wealthy billionaires, some became drug addicts, some died
somebody to prison, so a lot of different lives. And they want you to look at and the study what makes people happy. And over the course of the study, which is one of the one of the most the longest studies ever done, they've concluded that the thing that makes ultimately the most important thing in your life will be the relationships you have that happiness, irrespective of wealth, irrespective of, you know, how rich, how rich you are, how poor you are, which area you live in, what kind of job you have, ultimately, what makes a person happy, is the relationships that he has. If you have good relationships with your family and your friends, your community, you'll be a happy
person. No matter how much of material things you have, if you don't have that bond, you will not be happy, your life will not be successful. When we kind of knew this, what we didn't know what they found, and we discovered that people will have good relationships and are happy, they live longer. They didn't expect that. They looked at people the same group of people in their 50s. And they said that people who had happy relationships lived longer, irrespective of the health condition was not this study found that your relationships are better indication of how long you will live, then your cholesterol level. You could have high cholesterol in your 50s diabetes, but if you have
good relationships, you live longer. They say those who lived in the 80s. And beyond one thing they had in common is they still had a spouse that was alive. And they were still happily married. And one of the one of the researchers said that loneliness is as much a killer as smoking and alcoholism is loneliness. So allow me to such that we are incomplete people, and we need to find others to connect. Without that connection. It kills you in a way that you don't realize. And this goes back to the Hadith of the Prophet Solomon said, If you want your life to be extended, keep ties with your family. Sometimes we need the university professors to tell us which on a visa Salaam confirmed 1500
years ago, your life will actually go longer. Your life your bill wealth will actually have more blessing and Baraka, if you have people in it to enjoy with. Right, so this is something that will and this is something that ultimately on the day we pass away the day we are about to die, you will not think about the money and the opportunities you've lost. You'll not think about the riches that you could have had but you will think about the the relationships that we neglected, will weigh heavily on our conscious as we grow later in life. So maintain the bond of family is one of the primary primary commandments of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Of course, we are those people who are last place in our life, we can't get rid of them. They are with us. And we need to be good traveling companions with them when they are people which we choose to be in our lives. And perhaps the biggest decision that we will make is the spouse which we ultimately will marry the spouse that will actually marry. And in this discussion we'll talk about next week why marriages fall apart? What are the reasons why they are marital discord? Why is the divorce rate so high? statistically now in the world? Basically, in a country like South Africa, one in every 20 50% of marriages end in divorce? 50% that's a scary statistic that half of all marriages
fail. Why? What's happening? What's going wrong? Why? Why are the Imams so inundated weekly? With marital problems and issues people complaining? What's the cause of it? Why? How do we get happy, happy marriages? How do we live together with one spouse for entire life? What's the reason? Before we talk about a bad marriage? Let's talk about what a good marriage should look like in the Sharia. What should your marriage look like pervert shadow? What does Allah Spangler one from us? So Allah subhanaw taala says to us, when Larry Holloman nopsema ada, gentlemen has Olga Leah schooner Allah, Allah says it is he who created all of you from a single person Adam, and then he created from
created from Adam, his wife Hawa, and in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her.
Li Li escuela Allah. So Allah subhanho wa Taala is telling us a very important thing. When Allah created Adam on Allah created us, He created us in a half incomplete, even though the item was in genda, even though he had everything of food and drink and enjoyment, his agenda, he could have whatever he wanted, he was not happy, that we will not find happiness will will not be complete, even in Jannah unless we find a partner to shade with. This is the student of Allah. This is how Allah created us. So that's why a person if you want to punish them, one of the worst kinds of punishments is you isolate them from other people, sometimes worse than physical torture worse then
taking out the food and the drink, you deprive them of social interaction. So evening, Jenna, we are incomplete unless we find that special person to enjoy it with. So Allah says this is you soon. And you will only find two pleasure and bliss in life. If you have this connection, connection with people in general, but obviously the deep connection is with our spouses. So our Father, I'm Ali Salaam, this was the first lessons he learned that the greatest joy in life will not be the material things around you, it will be the companion on your side. And it is the one thing that I say the one thing that Allah allowed me to be item to take one thing from Jenna was his wife or mother Hawa. And
it's the one thing on gender of gender on this dunya that you will take with you again, when we die. And if we are successful, I mean, will not take our homes with us will not take our cause our favorite blanket water anything of the dunya with but you will find your husband and your wife the agenda. The only thing of heaven on earth is our spouses. That's the only thing. And this is how Allah made it such. As I say, in the Sharia, we don't have an exit close, like Christianity to these two up, there's no party even after they, even after they arrived. It was the same there was this one man you know, he, he passed away. He was a good husband to his wife. He always gave her away but
he never had the courage to put her in a place. So when he died, he said as a as a way to Punisher. He deprived from the inheritance. So on his tombstone, it said, may he rest in peace until I get
The height. So the wife when I get the when I'm going to show you, so we're going to be with our partners in Jenna, this is the reason why our marriages is not just for this dunya. It goes beyond into the Euro, Allah grant us that we have that kind of relationship. And we know the beautiful thing that I don't know of any, I don't know of any other relationship or any other reward that you are upgraded to your spouse. So obviously, some spouses are better people than others, it's normal, one spouse may be more pious than the other one. And Allah will reward that spouse with a higher level gender, then the husband or the wife, maybe the husband was pious, so he gets to go to the
agenda. But Allah will automatically give you that so this occurs community of property in general, that you will get to be upgraded to her gender or his gender, no other relationship do we find a parent pulling a kid up, we don't have that luxury, but spouses will join each other was a powerful thing. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, The secret to a happy marriage this beautiful ayah in the Quran, which explains why and how we should get married. And I need to reflect on my marriage, you need to reflect on your marriage as a husband.
Do I provide this for my spouse? Don't let full time for a moment. Let's put off what we expect from our wives from our husbands. Let's put that off. And let's ask do we provide this for our spouses? So Allah says woman 80 of the great signs of the great miracles of Allah and Haleakala, cumin and fusuma, God created for you a partner. This is of the great great things that Allah has done. Allah says Lita school Li again, that you may find Sakina tranquility in each other, that you should bring peace and comfort to one another. That marriage ultimately should make your life better. You know, if marriage was worse off, why do you get married, if you're better off single, you shouldn't be
married. But Allah says that you will find Sakina tranquility, peace of mind comfort happiness in this person. Allah says, I've created this person as a sign that you will only find that level of Sakina with her with him. So this is number one, we should bring peace and tranquility to our partner. Yes, we're gonna fight of course, naturally, we're gonna fight, there's gonna be ups and downs. But overall, we should look back and say, my past five years of marriage, it was better with you than without you in my life, my life would be better with you, not without you. And if we're not doing that, as a spouse, then we failed. What jalepeno kumada berahino losses beautifully. With gyla
ye Allah Himself, I am the one that places between the two of you Maota and Rama. My wonder is passionate, deep, exciting, love, love. So all it is, I am the one that puts my word there between the husband and the wife, that you admire each other that you love being in service that you make each other laugh that you desire one another, and Rama and mercy
for the things that you love in your partner, and rahama for the things, the patience of the things you don't like in your partner, because everyone has goods and everything and everyone has beds. Everyone has good days and bad days. In the good days. This my wife did his passion in the bad days. No matter how bad things gets this tiller, Rama Suki and respect and kindness. This is our marriage should be bring peace to your partner. Love your partner, and in the worst of days have mercy and care and respect for your partner. If you can't bring these things, if at the very least there's no respect anymore, that there is harm to one another. That's when the Sharia brings about divorce and
divorces is a last resort. We'll talk about each other divorce next week or the weeks to come. But if we cannot do these three things, so you need to ask yourself, we are mania most of us as a few sisters here. Ask I should ask do I bring peace of mind to my wife? Do I bring her a sense of love and passion? Do I care for her and respect for in the way where she would be better off with me. They don't own enough either. licola I was in that relationship between you and your wife is a sign of who have almost godliness that isn't Allah. That feeling that you have of happiness, of misery of sadness of longing cannot be taken away. You can't take a drug and put love in a marriage. You can't
take a drug and take away misery from your marriage. You can't manufacture the joy you feel with your wife in any other way. It only comes from Allah it's a divine kind of thing that Allah has brought.
Allah says about the husband and the wife our relationship who Nellie Basu Lachman to leave us alone. They are your governments, and you are the government's mini clothing. Allah describes the relationship between a husband and wife as clothing why clothing because nothing comes between you and your clothes. Your clothes is the closest thing to you.
If you're close you're not there you'd be naked, your partner's cover each other's faults. Your partner. You look you proud you look better you enhance through her through
No one sees the faults except the clothes covered. This is the relationship between husband and wife clothing obviously protects us, the first person. And the most important person in protecting each other is the spouse and the husband. Not the other way around. Many times you find Unfortunately, the one causing the abuse of the pain is the husband, the wife, the one exposing the faults outside of the home is the husband and the wife. This is the opposite of what the Sharia is saying. We are all imperfect. We're all naked, but it's our clothing that protects us. And that's what the wife and husband is to one another the shield. And Allah is describing this relationship. No third party
comes between you and your spouse. What is the base kind of men? What do you need to aspire to? I need to aspire to be like a stems of a husband. The Prophet peace be upon us tells us again and I relate this so many times that taqwa piety with Allah is not just our Salah. When we think of a valley of Allah, we just naturally think to think of a person who's up at night food was constantly in touch. Maybe he's in the masjid five times a day. Yes, that's part of being a pious person. But beyond the facade it beyond doing what is compulsively on you to Allah, more important in the forum. More a more important student actions, more important than the sooner is to look after the
relationships. So a man who does the compulsory things, but not too much sooner, doesn't do the extra fasting. He's not able to do the extra charity, but he's a good human being to other people. This is beta the Hadith we mentioned a few weeks ago, better than the enslavement sooner fasting better than sooner Salah is the person who is good to people. So the Prophet is telling you, the best believer who has the best Eman is the one who has the best character manners, he treats people, Well, some people you know, they have good manners, good character. And the best of those, so you have people,
the base of them are believers. And the base of the believers are those who have good, good character, the good, the nice people. And amongst those that category, the base of the base, the cream of the crop, is he was based to his wives, to his women. Why it's easy to be a nice guy in the masjid with the brothers. Yes, easy to be a nice guy at work, to be a nice guy with your colleagues and your friends. But two o'clock the morning, you're angry and frustrated when the screaming baby, if you can still be that nice guy to your wife. That is through email, when no one sees you, except allow you realize now when she is your wife will see you at your worst. And you will see her at her
worst. If you can still be a man of character. Let's move to the mean. A man who doesn't say words of disrespect, let alone physical harm. If you can still do that to his wife, in all situations, the new are the base of the base of the process and you have the highest level of human love. Think about
the man who two o'clock is not a pathologist. But he's rocking that baby to sleep and says your wife couldn't sleep. That's the base of this process of missing. That's what is true Eman.
Allah says to us, we'll actually build my roof and live with him on kindness and equitable terms. Usually when people come to the Imam and they ask what's my rights as a husband, as a wife, you don't want to play the technical cord. Because once you get technical, you realize you're very short in being a husband and you're very shooting being a wife. There are many things you supposed to do as a husband and as a wife that we're not doing. We don't want to throw the law at us. So but what Allah is saying to you as a husband, people ask me who must wash the dishes? And who's supposed to look after the kids? And do I have to visit his his mother? Am he anything to me? Do I have to visit
her mother? Alice is a general term, live with him in kindness and equity. Treat them with kindness, what is kind and what is equal what is fi Wi Fi? Whatever is fe UI in intelligent person, whatever is good for you do the same for her and be kind to her. That's how Allah has made it for us. Now remember, in the context of this, this came to a people who used to be the women alive. We used to inherit the women This is the kind of people policies are not going to give you a whole list of to do's and not to dues you ask yourself is this matter of how you spend how you speak how you treat you need to ask, Is this fee? Is this equitable? Is this good treatment kind treatment? If it's not,
then you're not fulfilling your obligation?
original comunale Nisa Allah subhanho wa Taala says Minh, you are the comun Kawan needs to stand right now that you stand on her that you are like a warm like, establishes to masala to what Salam needs to be maintained, preserved, loved at year two, Allah says mean your job is to have that same treatment with your Nisa with your women beyond just your wives, your mothers
Your daughter's Allah says a true man, your manliness, your manliness, your manhood is actually demonstrated in how you treat the women around you, how you treat your wife and your mother, your daughter, your sister, that may Allah saying, it is your job to constantly be in the maintenance and care and protection. That's what you're supposed to do. This issue of a rally.
I said this before, that when you perform the nicca, and you say cobuild, Tunica harlene, FCB rally, when you say I except to myself, except for myself and Mika, why are you saying I do? She's not even sitting the Why do you say I do. You're not saying I do to the Father. So he gives you the daughter? No, you're saying to Allah, I accept that yesterday, five minutes ago, this man was heavily this man the father, his job was to protect and love and care for this girl. That if anyone harmed I was gonna ask this man Where were you? Where were you put when you go to as being insulted or she was crying we were you. I entrusted her with you as Amana. Now you're saying with the ultimate, with all
due respect, you're a wonderful family, but I'm going to take your daughter and I'll be a better family. I will even preserve and key for her even more than that. That's why you see it coming to you took the Amana more important in taking the woman is taking the man and the promise with Allah because you'll be answerable for that Amana, I'll do a better job than you treat her better than her father. That's what Allah is a region. That is ultimately what you will do. joola our manhood is going to be tested on how we treated our women.
And therefore, you know, August coming up, we have a big problem in our community, or South Africa in general, with terms of gender based violence, women being abused, most of the time, it's about the husband, statistically, the person that abuses the woman the most is the husband,
the man that should be the most the furthest person from abusing a woman is her husband. Why? Because your job is to protect her. You know, if if someone steals, and it's the security guard that's supposed to protect that thing. He's the one that steals it so much was Yes. So you your job to Allah is to maintain this woman. Therefore, the last person in the list to harm her is you It's like the shepherd, that protects the sheep from the wolf. If a shepherd is not one harming the wolf, then that's about harming the sheep. That's the worst of the worst, right? So think about that. harm should never come from the husband. And a lot of focus a lot more on the husbands. Yes, the wives
you'll get your turn. But ultimately, this relationship, it's a given a take. But the husband Allah says Allah has given you an upper hand in terms of physical strength. And for most of us financial strength as well. Allah has given you that blessing, not because he favors you. But because it comes with an Amana, it comes with a price tag, you need to use this correctly. The Prophet says to us over others, the world is filled with delight, joyful things, happy things, things to make you happy. But the number one joy you will feel is having a good wife. That's the best thing you could have.
The Prophet says whoever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, he has helped him with half of his Deen half your deen is complete. So you need to look after the other half. What does this mean? Doesn't mean if you're married to holla 700 diplomatico. If 200% know you've got a partner, you've got a partner who's going to help you in goodness, if you chose, well, you chose a partner who's going to help you on the journey towards Allah, then half of the job is done. Now you need to do the other half.
The greatest thing the Sahabi asked the professor lamb. What is the best wealth I could achieve wealth? There's many types. There's many types of wealth. So you ask yourself, what is the best kind of wealth I could want? So the prophecies, the best things you could ever acquire is a a heart that is grateful. You are happy with the blessings you have and a tongue that is remembering of Allah, and I believe in life who helps him get to the Acura. That's the best things you could have. If you've got a good woman, when you've got the greatest treasure on Earth, that is the greatest asset you could have. This was the prophet SAW Selim saying as far as sisters, what makes you the best?
What kind of woman should you aspire to be like again, we should change our focus that dako and piety isn't just the ritual ibadah more than Allah subhanho wa Taala has not asked any of us compiled compelled us to make dadgad at night or fast Mondays and Thursdays but he's compelled us to be good to our spouses is made compulsory to be good to your parents. And sometimes we aspire for the ritual and we neglect the compulsory. The prophecies to our sisters. If you are a woman that plays her five compulsory salah and you force your compulsory month of Ramadan, you protect your chastity and you obey your husband in what he it will be said to you. You know you are when you say
obedient now you have to be watched today's term obedient is like a like a like a bad word. But you are respectful to your husband.
When you are helpful to your husband, when it will be said to her now into Jana, in which evil do you want? You have to do is make Sarah false Ramadan. Do not commit immoral sexual activity and be a good wife and you will enter from any of the a dose of Jenna swannanoa.
Osama says the Prophet told our sisters if a woman dies, and her husband is happy with her, and she is not happy with that he died.
Not happy that she died. But he's pleased with his she's a good wife. And when she dies, he was in a state where he was pleased with her. Then she will be guaranteed Jana.
sisters do they just do the compulsory Salatu Allah compulsory force compulsory Hajj compulsory Sokka. And be good to your husband? And that's your gender?
guarantee? Jenna, please your husband?
The Prophet says Shall I tell you about the women of Jenna. So if you want to see a woman of Jenna, what is she like? A woman of gender, the prophecies, she is the loving, affectionate wife when she gets angry, or even if you must treat her you back to her was when he's angry with us. So there's some tension between the two of them. She will say to him, here is my hand, she places her hand in his hand and says, I will not sleep until you're pleased with me. This is a woman of gentlemen. This is a woman of gender. And every evening it is any kind of tension. She makes sure that fine. We I will rather make that you are happy with me so that a lot can be happy with me that's more
important. What do you want to resolve this very difficult thing to do? But this is a woman of gender.
So how about the prophets of Salaam? What should I look for in a woman? What is a good woman. So the Prophet sees a woman of gender a quality woman is when you just look at her. You she brings you happiness. Just her presence makes you happy, makes you feel happy. But if you ask her to do something, she obliges, she's able to assist you. And if you're not there with her, if you're away, she will protect your wealth and herself, she will protect you in your absence. She guards you. This is a quality woman. So if you have a wife, if you've got a wife, that makes you happy, when you spend time with her, you look at her you find joy in her, but she tries her best to fulfill whatever
requests you have. And when you're not there, she looks after your property your kids herself. When you have a good woman and you have a good woman. Sometimes we we forget what we have. We forget what we have because we have a false understanding of what is a good person, a good husband, you will not have a perfect husband and a perfect wife. Such a thing doesn't exist. There's no perfect people in the dunya. But if you have a wife that assists you in your life, that she's practicing of her right, and she does her best to make you happy within her abilities. You have a good wife and if you have a husband, that doesn't harm you physically, emotionally, that is the end he provides maintenance of
you, but he tries his best to bring you happiness then you've got a good husband and you have a good husband.
The Prophet peace be upon him in carries us to make this dua In fact, Allah says in the Quran,
Allah says in the Quran of the people off
of the Bible Rahman those who truly worship Allah, those Abidal Rockman they constantly make this door they constantly recite this door Dalian we should all recite this dua, Allah de Nicola robina Habana minutes wodgina Adrianna kurata angry jagalingou tequila
de vida Rockman Allah says they constantly asked Allah Allah lit gift, give us a gift, habla de means gift, us give us a gift from our wives and our children. This great pleasure that comes from Allah, in our kids and our wives, let them be the kurata in the coolness of our eyes, we've said this before, that what this means is that when the Arabs were in the desert, and they were in the heart of the summer, the eyes would be burning in the in the sand would hit the eyes. So you close your face with the with the turban you close your ears, your nose, but the sand is blowing. And the only thing that was open would be the eyes because you have to see. And if you burn and sting the
eyes, you will make each and hurt the eyes. But when they would find a place of shade, they would say my eyes have become cool meaning my worries have come to an end. I've come to a place where all my sadness, all my misery, all my frustration is gone. So Alice and they would say kurata and my eyes became cooled. So Allah is telling you Yeah, Allah, ask Allah that He gives you this treasure, that when you look at your wife, and you look at your children, and you look at your husband and your children, they are the joy of your eyes, meaning all your worries go away. No matter how bad things are at work, no matter how bad things are in your life. If you are in the company, then you
have everything. That's how our marriages should be. Now it looks not only
That way, sometimes the biggest misery in our life is our marriages. Sometimes the biggest worry in our life, our kids, our spouses was not the norm is not the norm. And there are many reasons why marriages fall apart. There are many reasons why, why husbands and wives don't get together. So the Prophet says, and I end up with this reminder, the lady comes to the VSA salon, and she speaks to him and the profit officer. Do you have a husband? So she said, Yes. So he said to her, look at how you treat him, look at your interaction with him, because he is your agenda and your agenda. He will be the means that you intergender or Johanna, your husband. And the Prophet says to us, the biggest
test I lift for you omein after I leave, are women. Now usually we think women meaning the temptation of the beautiful women, are they at the fitna of beautiful women? No, not only that, the biggest test for us would be our wives, our daughters, our mothers. The last advice the Prophet gave us as men, a solar a solar collector, a man who can look after your solar and look after your wives, your children. This will be the means that we intergenerational,
not just we sometimes think ultimately comes down to how much liquor I make, how much Salawat I make how much fasting I do, yes, more important than that. I was going to ask what kind of husband you are, kind of wife you are.
Why do we fight How should we fight because we can't avoid this and how do we keep our marriages and falling apart? So Allah is always pleased with us. inshallah, next week, we'll discuss marital discord and how to resolve this conflict me if you have any questions or concerns with [email protected]
just a few announcements
in in about three weeks, three and a half weeks time inshallah on the 21st I believe the 21st of August 21 of August two so is it
21st 22nd of August we probably going to have a look at how Allah grant who judge Hydra Boone mala make it easy for them and grant them to fill the monastic and return safely. We will inshallah be sending out a coupon program at the as as annually. Please if you'd like to have been in the process with Parana Islam, we look after your sheep you come in, you know part of the coupon process and the meat distribution. So if you'd like to book and reserve your ship, I understand is quite difficult to get cheap at the moment. We need to plan this one in advance and provide facilities so we'd like to go to band with us. You know, please speak to Buddha club, where you could actually contact us
this the number on on the on the screen. And then inshallah from next week we'll start the CDs in celebration of women's month. Every month is women's month in the Sharia, of course and every month is men's month as well.
It's been in celebration of the month of August, we would like to begin to do a series on the most important women of this of this Deen the wives of the Prophet William the women around the messenger The Greatest Women that ever lived 12 of them, they are your mother's my mother's. If you cannot list all 12 of them, then you need to listen to this because it's your mom, your mom will talk about the wives of the Prophet Salim. And in that we'll talk about the very controversial stuff about polygamy, about hijab about divorce about wife beating for an IRA that says what did he Boonen strike them What does this mean how do we understand that Why does she get half the inheritance of a
man Why Why is her testimony half that of a man how do we explain this very controversial issues it will come through in the series inshallah if you'd like to register
you can also if you'd like to join up one it's for free. This is a free course. But if you would like to get it's going to get via WhatsApp so you need to join our WhatsApp line. So please contact us and you will be included I mean, Zack Allah hi Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh