Social and Family Conflicts 08 Baseless Assumptions

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari


Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the causes and solutions for family disputes, including maintaining family relations, addressing negative emotions, and avoiding negative arguments. They stress the importance of verifying information and avoiding mistakes, and provide examples of misunderstandings and actions that contribute to family disputes. The segment also touches on the topic of negative opinions and the importance of avoiding double-standing and giving people the benefit of their opinions. The speakers advise caution and avoid giving negative thoughts and hesitation in order to avoid them.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah in your Walkman you're walking

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chemo that

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respected listeners Dear sisters brothers Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh. I welcome all of you once again to our daily discussion and my daily discourse on the topic of Family and Social disputes, family conflicts and their causes and solutions.

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Over the past few days and the last weeks, and during the month of Ramadan, we have been discussing this topic in in great detail and in great length

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and have discussed with you eight sorry, seven. So far seven major causes for family disputes.

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seven major causes for family disputes,

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and the solutions as well have been discussed. And today, we will inshallah discuss causing number eight. But before I do that, if I just recap briefly, I mean, the first couple of days of the month of Ramadan, I discussed with you the importance of maintaining family ties, the importance of kinship, the importance of

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building these blood ship bonds, and maintaining good relationships with others, avoiding argumentation, fighting, quarrel, and disputes and all of that, especially within the family. And then I discussed them the causes that contribute to problems within the family causes that contribute to argumentation and conflicts and disputes within the family. The first one, the first major cause and reason

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was that we have incorrect intentions, incorrect intentions, when we are

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maintaining ties, when we are interacting with our family members, then we have the wrong intention. It's not for the sake of Allah, it's for to be appreciated, etc, etc. So I discussed that in detail in there the remedy and the solution was to

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make our intention sincere. Number two, the lack of purified hearts

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within ourselves, diseased hearts. In other words, we having all these spiritual diseases in our hearts in terms of jealousy and hatred, and enmity, and pride and arrogance, and all of those things that contribute to the disputes that we find ourselves in. And the remedy for that what escape was just geared to the purification of the heart and purification of the soul, who's number three monetary issues, financial dealings, financial matters. And I talked about that in great detail talks about aspects relating to the debt and taking a debt and credit transactions and clarifying ownership and dealings within especially within the family inheritance issues. Number four, the

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fourth major cause of family disputes that I discussed thing to three weeks ago, and controlled usage of one's tongue without thinking which open our mouths and use our tongues in any way, shape or form that we like. So the allergy the solution was preservation of the tank. Number five, being selfish being self centered.

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And the remedy for that was ethos, which was being you know, having the ecology of giving preference to other people. So that was a solution to avoid family disputes. Number six, was anger rather, and the remedy the solution is a sub patience and swallowing and controlling one's anger. Number 7/7. Major or main reason for family disputes or main cause, misunderstandings, misconceptions, things not being clear.

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Remedy verification

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In this was based on the verse of Surah pejabat. And we go on from here to, to cause number eight today. If you remember when I started mentioning last week, the cause number seven, I mentioned that the next 378 and nine are taken, which I am taking and extracting and deriving and deducing from a amazing Surah of the Quran which is similar to gerat, who Gerard plural of Pajara tune in Arabic which means the chamber the rooms, the private chambers, surah Taha gerat has some amazing and unique verses in the Quran. It starts off with certain etiquette and adapt that we must show and have with the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa salam, and thereafter,

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Allahu SubhanaHu Dyana mentioned certain etiquette and certain guidelines, certain procedures that deal with our mutual interaction advocates and other amongst ourselves in order that we, as a family, as a community, as a society, we live a life of peace, tranquility, have harmony in our life, and we avoid all these conflicts and problems and disputes and argumentation. And these are some basic etiquettes and the first verse was, the first verse was yo yo Latina Avenue in general, not the first verse of the surah. But the first verse that I talked about. Yeah, and which, which was concerning the cause number seven misunderstandings, a lot of the problems and disputes that we

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find ourselves in occur because of misunderstandings. So,

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that was based on the verse Yeah, you had leadin Avenue injure a confessor among many other inflatables. And then to Cebu Omen be Johanna teen for to spare who Alana for ultimate adenine. And I discussed that particular verse in detail on Thursday, previous week, that misunderstandings and acting upon, you know, our misunderstandings and acting upon some information

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and saying something or doing something based on certain misunderstandings that take place, is a major contributor to family disputes. solution was the bean, Allah says, Whatever you verify, verify, make sure that which has been related to someone said something about someone is actually correct. So, verify the authenticity and the correctness of these

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reports or statements or news that come to you.

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Anyway, that was number seven. Now, the next verse in the spirit of Iraq, Allah subhanaw taala gives us some more guidelines, write some more guidelines.

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And I'm going to talk about the next point which is in order to project and that is our cause. Number eight for family disputes. Allah subhanho died our Lord you crater in surah Taha Girod, verse number 12 He says, You have leadin Manu. Each tourney will cathedral men have been

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in Ghana is what I tried to search through what I ever thought about locum Bala, are you able

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to move

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three more guidelines or commands?

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Three more commands, three more guidelines that Allah Subhana Allah gives us in this particular Surah, who was number seven or feminine disputes that we talked about? That's already been mentioned in Jetta confers upon Minerva, in fact about your new verification. Now in this verse Surah 200 verse 12, Allah says, Oh, you will believe it Danny mukha theorum men have been avoided, each enable avoid, avoid much suspicion

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of one external cathedral may have been avoided much suspicion why? He says in battle above one

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reason being is because most of suspicion is sin. Majority of it is sinful.

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much suspicion is sinful in the Battle of money

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when it just says so that's the first command and that's our cause number eight today, I'm not going to go into whether they're just but the next I'll just finish off complete the translation. So you know what caused them a nine is while it just says do not buy, do not let HSS who do not become a judge suits do not spy on people. Well, it just says and then Allah says, What is it about combat? Bah, do not backbite but that's not going to be one of the causes that I'm going to discuss because I've already covered backbiting when we talked about our using our tongues. So anyway,

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in this verse, the first part of the verses each tourney will all you who believe Allah subhanho wa Taala I will load and they will create

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is addressing me and addressing us is not addressing anyone else he's addressing us Muslims. He says Oh you who believe each enable cathedral men have been avoided much suspicion

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that the van isn't because much of suspicion or some part of suspicion is sinful. Now here, ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada is ordering us commanding his brother and sisters to avoid suspicion, we have run in Arabic means having a thought about someone run, Vinay. Aluna means a thought about someone. And you can have a good thought about someone and you can have a bad bad opinion and bad thought about someone. And therefore good opinion and good thought and positive thoughts about people is considered to be sorry, it's called, has not been, has not been and bad opinion about people and negative thoughts and negative thoughts about people, that is termed as Sue have been. So we have

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personally been, and we have to have been, we have personally been and we have to have been good opinion, bad opinion, good positive thoughts, bad negative thoughts. In this verse, Allah is saying avoid much suspicion because some suspicion is sinful. The sinful suspicion is bad, bad suspicion, bad opinion about people. That sinful, right, and that's our major cause our eighth cause one of the major reasons for family disputes. So bad opinion about other people, without any facts, and without any figures and without any concrete evidence, bad opinion.

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Negative thoughts about people?

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Negative thoughts, bad opinion about others baseless assumptions, baseless assumptions, we assume and we presume, and we assume things are people he may be like this. She is maybe like this, she's probably said this, he probably said that she probably is guilty of that he probably is guilty and is, is guilty of this particular crime. Unfortunately, our societies are filled with these, you know, assumptions. We allow conjecture, to come into our hearts without any facts. It's a sinful activity brothers and sisters, especially about those who are outwardly righteous, seriously Islamically, those who are outwardly righteous, specially above them, we have negative thoughts

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about them.

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It's wrong and it's sinful, the owner have considered this to be it's like the backbiting of the heart they call it the rebuttal. Because it's the thoughts in the mind that you will allow it scholars actually say that if some bad opinion just comes about someone to suddenly and you didn't let it continue in your heart and you never gave it the conviction, right? It just came that's not sinful, because it was not your doing right. You did not intentionally allow you did not intentionally allow this bad opinion to come into your heart. But once it came in, then you continue with it. You persevered with it, you gave it more strength. And even worse, you spoke about it to

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some people, and you consider it to be the truth based on baseless assumptions that is majorly sinful. It's a reboot of the heart of rebuttal.

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Right? It's a wave of the Superman and many of our disputes family problems look in the family between brothers and sisters and parents children and in laws and doting mother and mother in laws and this laws and that knows or whatever, in our societies, family conflicts, family disputes are majorly a result of this cause number eight of family disputes which is through what is the remedy? What is the remedy remedies has not been avoiding Sue have been the solution is has not been good opinion. In other words, you know what it is? It's

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personal one means giving people the benefit of peak giving people the benefit of the doubt Wallahi that is so important in our lives, giving people benefit of the doubt in generally the way we deal with people.

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But unfortunately, our societies have become such that we don't even give any any consideration.

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It's absolutely haram majorly haram. It's a clear look at the verse Allah says, Aegis Danny boo. Each tourney boo cathedra men have been avoided syllable Amara Amara is a command. Allahu Subhana Allah Our Lord and our Creator is commanding us to avoid suspecting people and having doubts and avoiding negative thoughts and bad opinion and baseless assumptions about people and allowing conjecture to come

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into our hearts without any effect. Allah clearly says.

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This is a clear text and messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says in one Hadith of one noble meaning a higher Ron

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have good opinion about unbelievers one noble movement in a hierarchy.

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In another Hadith, he said in Yangon Walkman, make sure you avoid opinion which means bad opinion for in an urban double Hadith, Yakumo one for in one double Hadith because having this opinions about people is probably one of the greatest of lies. It's a lie in the heart. We need to have good opinion even about Allah subhanaw taala either have good opinion, the messengers of Allah who and he was telling me one Hadith he said, Les mo 1011. Were you seen one Nabila? One of you should not die, except that if you should have a good opinion about Allah who's 100 to Allah,

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even about Allah, our Lord and Creator, you know what this means we should have good opinion about our Lord and Creator. He's merciful, his kind, it's considerate, he will treat me well.

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And that's why Allah says there's a hadith it's called Hadith and kotse, where the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam relates from his Lord and create a female Uriah and europei, as the Virgin Anna, and money are the DB

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and Allah says, I find one of the V, I am according to the opinion, I am by the opinion of my slave off me. Wherever another Hadith says goes on to state that whatever the slave has an opinion of me if he has an opinion that I will give him good, then he will get the good, if he has a bad opinion to have, if he has an evil opinion about me that will get evil from

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even with Allah. But the Hadith we're talking about family members and relatives, and generally within the society above noble mamina hierarchy, have good opinion about people we see in our societies, brothers and sisters jealousness. In our societies, we see all these different, you know, differences and disagreements and conflicts and disputes and argumentation and especially within the family

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is because of this major reason, our firm sort of been

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all of us, you know, every person individual has this bad opinion negative thought about other people

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that he's like this and his life, then it shows like this and someone's driving a car,

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he's involved in a fraud or his cheating some somebody, some mashallah brother bought really nice car, there must be something wrong, he must have done something he must have been involved in fraud, or he must have cheated was

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in the beginning, you know, we have these bad opinions. In the beginning, it's just he may be he may be this guy may be like that, he may be this person this system may be then that may be becomes must be,

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he may have done it, and then it becomes he has done it, he is guilty of it. And we have yet been and full conviction on it as though we saw it with our own eyes.

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Seriously, it's a major haram. This is just a doubt it's a negative thought sort of man. And then you start believing in it in such an extent. First, it's just an assumption and presumption and then it becomes an absolute, you know, concrete, something that is definitely been done. That's what we think

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may have becomes must have. And he may have done it because he must have he has done it.

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Allah says It's haram to have been

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It's haram and it's sinful.

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For example, we see someone in the month of Ramadan in the afternoon walking out of a restaurant, right?

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For a split second, you know, in the month of Ramadan for a split second thought came in because come up for restaurant in Ramadan, three in the afternoon, PM.

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Right, three in the afternoon, PM.

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Now, this foot, you know, that split second thought came into our minds automatically, right? That's not haram, we're not sinful. Now we have to try to turn our direction, our attention somewhere else seriously, that is what is our duty. But if we continue in it means further three in the afternoon, you're thinking to yourself in your mind, then you're thinking, Ah, yes, this person I thought he doesn't fast. I thought this person who tries to actual good you know, he tries to act that he's a fasting person, but look at him. It's eating, you know, he eats most likely definitely his going to eat in that restaurant. Right? And then yes, he has definitely eaten and he has broken his fast and

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he doesn't really keep up fast and this and that. And then you tell someone else

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First, I mean, these are the, you know, if it if that food bad opinion, negative thought comes automatically, that's not sinful. But then if we start allowing this conjecture, to sit in our hearts and we start having absolute conviction in your opinion on it, then that becomes sinful. And it becomes even worse.

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If we start mentioning this to other people and spreading this about, then it becomes even worse major sin solution is have good opinion, give benefit of the doubt. Now, in this case, this person came out of the restaurant in the middle of the afternoon in the middle of Ramadan.

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Right, you could have thought about 100 and other excuses for him giving benefit of the doubt.

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Because you only saw him coming out of a restaurant, maybe just went into the restaurant to use the washroom to the bathroom, he just went to the toilet, maybe or if he had some food in his hand, maybe he's just going to collect some food for Iftar. Or maybe someone's ill and sick. He's just going to collect food for him.

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This is 101 different explanations, interpretations.

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You can give seriously, but we don't want to do that. And that's why we have major problems in our community. You saw someone just before Salah time that he's

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walking away from the Masjid. Maybe he's broken his will do. Maybe he has an illness. Maybe he has a disability. Maybe he's going to the masjid. I had once a brother he called me right. And he mentioned about the show. This audition, there's no learner. You don't have certain reservations. I said don't whatever you do, first of all, do not mention the name you know, because I have loads of people talking about you know, loads of different issues and I tackled a lot of issues. He was having a donation an interview, because I don't want to have any negative thing about anyone any pious person especially but he says look, I have certain reservations and because of which, you

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know, I have these thoughts in my head and my mind and they're irritating me they're bugging me. I said okay, go ahead. Don't mention the name. And he mentioned certain things. One of the things about this alliums is I don't see him coming to like a comes very close to the masjid sometimes, you know, he comes just two or three minutes before Salah he's probably dropping off his children but he doesn't come into the masjid and offer salah

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I said so it could be 100 and million reasons because of which he probably goes sooner the Masjid.

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There's so many people who are not able to offer the Salah with Gemma and because of 101 excuses and valid legitimate excuses. Some people have a disability genuine disability. I know a lot of people who have a genuine disability have Sellersville bone, constant drops of urine. It's difficult for them and Allah does not make our deen that difficult that you just spent three four hours trying to pray Salah and with Jamar, there's so many reasons because of which you don't. You're allowed and it's justified for you not to offer Salah in the misery Jamar there are so many reasons. Look, look at the books of Hadith and the books of fact, they give you a good 10 1215 excuses. He could have he

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could be involved in any of these situations they could occur and relate to him. Have good opinions give benefit of the doubt seriously brothers give benefit of the doubt. Generally in our societies, communities give benefit of the doubt. Somebody made a statement about anything give a benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, we are very, very hasty in basing and making our decisions and concluding our decisions and coming to conclusions. We are very hasty. We come to conclusions very, very quickly and hasty to the point that we consider people to recover extremely quickly. And we judge people very easily, very quickly, very hastily.

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And we make our decisions very quickly. fatwas of gopher and disbelief are passed very easily.

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Someone said something Wait, relax. This 101 explanations.

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We call people cough are very easy. The messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a hadith said, When Pilate Lee when colonists are heavy Catherine felt like the better be huduma sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim who ever said to his most fellow Muslim Brotherhood, Garfield, if you call somebody a kafir, either he is a Garfield and he is in reality in truth by Allah he is an unbeliever, then that's fine otherwise it returns back to you and rebounds on you and you become a kerfeld al Khufu in the tech field of Shimon Halim considering someone to be a non believer is a very delicate issue. The Salah for Sally Hoon. The early scholars used to be extremely careful and

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vigilant, they'll be very, very, very scared about calling somebody a cover. And this is the reason why one of the Imams of the earlier you know, scholars, I think it was an imam Ibn Rahim Allah, a Shermie, who was one of the scholars of the Syrian area and one of the great Hanafi scholars one of the Korean

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Khartoum atom has been one of the major scholars of the Hanafi school of thought and he has a famous renowned book rather matar in there, you know what he states, it states that if there is a person, listen to this carefully if there's a human being

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that makes a statement or say something, or write something, and there are 99 interpretations of gopher

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there are 99 ways in which you can interpret his statement to be a statement of gopher a statement of disbelief. But there is one

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way that you can give him the benefit of the doubt, there is one interpretation out of the 100 that can be an interpretation of Islam and still being a Muslim, it is still absolutely necessary that you still consider that person to be a Muslim.

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Even though there were 99 ways of looking at the statement 99 interpretations 99 meanings of what he said, they all pointed out that he's become a Garfield, but there was one

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way that are this, if you look at this statement from this angle, if you try it, he could have meant this that doesn't make him a golfer, then you must offer his a Muslim.

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And that's our duty or responsibility. But we're very quick, very quick in making you know, neck, you know, in assuming things baseless assumptions, bad opinions about people negative thoughts without any facts. And we allow this conjecture, this is Minh to linger on and coming to our hearts and we give it strength support. And then we have fully opinion and conviction and we speak to people it's major How about

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family disputes are created because of this. social conflicts are because of this. You see one Muslim? Ah yes, yes. He probably doesn't like me. Why probably so he's looking at me or probably he praises Salah in this other masjid and I'm from Southern number one first of all, what is this other message and humans need an admission or the massage at the house of Allah? God that's a big issue. My this message that needs you come on, grow up. Get out of this.

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You know, all the massage in Indian massage that hola hola massage of Allah. You go to one masjid, how you come from this area, that area? You know, this is just, it's absolutely ridiculous. It's just really, really, really childish, this Michigan machine. And that's why we should try to pray in all the machines. I mean, I personally I try to go anywhere and everywhere. You know, just move around to any masjid for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala. And if that means that he's bringing hearts closer and hamdulillah right, so

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we really need to be very careful about his bad opinions of our people. So yeah, you see someone, oh, he's probably thinks bad of me. He probably and then that probably because he definitely thinks about of me. And you know, this slew of non major disease, having negative thoughts about people, and the main one of the major, one of the main actors. Listen to this carefully, brothers.

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One of the main factors, one of the main factors that contribute to us having sort of done having bad opinion about people, right,

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is that we do not look at our own thoughts. We do not look at our AYP, we don't look at our sins. We don't think about our own sins, we need to, you know, we need to worry about our own selves. If we start worrying about our own selves, remember all of us are sinful. khulumani Adam

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Hiral hotbar. In a baboon, the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said, All human beings are sinful. The best ones are the ones who repent, we are all sinful, we all do good and bad things, right? We are all bad we do we do all we are all the same in the same boat. We all try to better ourselves, we all try to be good. So let us look at our own YouTube. A human being who is worried about his own self or herself will not have time to think about other people and negative thoughts about other people and have baseless assumptions about other people. We won't have time, a person who has cancer

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of the kidney, or of the stomach, will he or she have any time to start worrying about other person's headache? Or someone's stomach ache? No. Likewise, you know, we look at our own eyes, our own read, to have, you know, we need to really think about our own selves. We need to think that we are the worst ones and the bad people and the worst of the whole of humanity.

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You must have heard of the name of che Maulana Ashraf Ali Tanweer Rahim Allah, one of the great scholars of the subcontinent. He used to have the same you know what he used to say?

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He used to say that I consider myself he was one of the greatest scholars of the time, passed away good. 6070 years ago SHAEF, Hakeem Aloma, they used to call him The wise man of the ummah.

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And the Majid authored numerous approximately 1000 books in order to Persian and Arabic.

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He just say that I consider myself to be the worst from all the Muslims right now. I'm the worst.

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I consider all the Muslims, all the believers to be better than me at this moment in time. And I consider all the non Muslims to also potentially, he says, Halon all the Muslims presently are better than me. And all the non Muslims are my urn, and potentially better than me, because the moment if they become Muslim, and they embrace Islam, without a doubt, and Fawaz often Subhanallah if he can say this, a person if you know about schermo, learnership retangular him Allah, you realize how big statement is, because how big the man was?

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If he can say that, and what about us? Where does that leave us? Where do we start? Where do we stand for we need to think about our own defects, our own problems, our own, you know,

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since our own deficiencies,

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and that will help us avoid conjecture that will help us avoid having negative thoughts. Right. And so solution is give benefit of the doubt brother and sisters, try giving benefit of the doubt. anything anyone says or does and we're looking at, you know, what we're looking at family disputes, right? We're looking at cause number eight, bad opinion, negative thoughts, baseless assumptions about people.

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Okay, what I'm not saying, Look, I'll tell you one thing here before I go on, what I am not saying here is to just trust everybody.

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Listen to this carefully. Brother and sister do not have too much time. Listen to this carefully.

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What I am not saying is to

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just be extremely gullible

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and start trusting anyone and everyone. I'm not saying that. I don't want you to do that. I want you to start doing that. And then you know, you get into problems and say, oh, you know, we heard the Mohammed say, that just

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just don't have that opinion. I'm not saying that. Listen to this carefully.

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Yes, we must be careful. We shouldn't trust everyone in any one given, especially in the times we're living in. Where?

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fraud, deception, cheating, lying, is extremely prevalent. You be cheerful in terms of your dean.

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Especially look at the Dean actually, we've been commanded.

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To be very careful about where we learn and take our deen from Abdullah hidden robotics and inner hurdle. El Medina and Fernando Amantha. Hoonah. Deena calm. Verily, this knowledge is Diem. Be very careful, be very vigilant. Be very cautious from where you take your deen, whom you learn your deen from. Don't just take it from anyone who like looks like a more learner who looks like a chef. Be very careful. Don't just take your deen from anyone and everyone. Just like we don't go to anyone who looks like a doctor. Somebody might just hold a briefcase and looks like a doctor means a doctor. Let me ask him for some prescription. We don't do that. Likewise. Islamically we don't we

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don't take them from anyone and everyone will be very careful. We investigate. So in regards to our deen in regards to our own money in our regards to our family, I am saying you must be careful, don't go and trust everyone, anything and everyone verify verification is permissible. That's actually at the very end of the verse of the Quran.

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But what I am saying here is Sue of mine is judging people negatively without any concrete depth without evidence.

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having doubts about someone and not trusting someone is different. Because it says they listen to this carefully. having doubts about someone

00:34:13--> 00:34:14


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not trusting them is different from judging them negatively. In other words, there's two things here. One is having doubts about people, just being careful being vigilant, you go to a shop and you know you just you don't think you're not you're not judging the shop owner or the shopkeeper or you're not judging the customer. You're not judging someone or anything like that. You just have doubts and you just think okay, let me just be careful here and vigilant. That's fine. That's different. That's permissible. But what is haram and not permissible is judging people negatively having bad opinion in the hearts of our people baseless assumptions, negative thoughts and spreading

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the rumors? Spreading rumors has become one of the major diseases of our communities spreading rumors, a major sin

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I mentioned the Hadith in Aloha Rama alikoum Lila Allah, Allah has made haram on you to say feed of Allah He said this and she said that you know Allah

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and that's why the other Hadith says GAFA will not be Caliban and you had this a bit Colima Samia, it is enough it is sufficient for a person to be called a liar to say and relate that with whatever he or she is. We have this unfortunate problem in our community was rumors spread about someone spreading rumors is majorly haram. You know, in order to prove that someone, for example is guilty of fornication Subhanallah if you say somebody committed adultery, Zina Islamically if you say that and you don't have evidence, you yourself will be in an Islamic country be flogged, or given the capital punishment had been cut off of false accusation.

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Really false accusation Islamically you need to prove and I won't go into the details how you need to prove this but union four witnesses will actually literally literally four witnesses sword, a man and a woman literally in an unlawful, you know,

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interaction unlawful and sexual encounter. Clear. Even just them Boeing both going into the same car or something. None of this allows you in any way, shape or form to point fingers at them.

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And likewise, robbing and stealing and all the other you know, it's baseless opinions. It's haram, you can talk negatively bad about anyone.

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And that causes a lot of problems in our community. I remember once I got an email from a sister, which then I put up on my website as well question answers.

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Were this she said, some of my friends sisters are accusing me of fornication that have come to dinner. And it's not true.

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And these sisters consider themselves to be practicing because they were the new carbon agent. And they think they're very good and they enjoy the good and forbidding the evil and this and that. I said the sin that they've committed is far worse. And even if you had committed adultery, because the backbiting and you know, talking ill about you, especially spreading rumors, major sin brothers, sisters for the sake of Allah. Avoid spreading rumors about anyone about anyone within your family, within your household, your relatives, your relationship with people, your cousins in your community. Just avoid it, avoid it. If someone tells you something, it's not your business, and you

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don't mind your business. Hey, look, you know what this doesn't relate to me, treating him and his Lord Allah subhanaw taala that's not why Allah says later on wallet addresses. And if it's concerning the community, investigate properly, thoroughly, carefully methodologically you know properly.

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But avoid Sudan. Avoid bad opinion. Avoid baseless assumptions, haram and specially avoid spreading rumors, major haram spreading rumors we have this major problem in our community with rumors are spread. And then things are added flavor and spice is added to this news to the story. Now some people Allahu Akbar, Allah save us all. The love these kind of controversies.

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Some people thrive, thrive into communities. They find excitement, in controversies in things happening in problems in when things people don't get out and get on with one another. And they like to cause controversy. It's very sad. It's very sad. We have been told this law who Virgil by

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the messenger Salallahu Alaihe. Salam said,

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Allah welcome.

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Abdullah bin Salman wa Salatu was Salam Putin shall not inform you of something that is more virtuous, more rewarding than even fasting, nothing fast, and nothing prayer and nothing charity. When the Sahaba asked Yes, go ahead yada for Allah He said for Salah who that in vain, making peace between people. If you find that people are having an argumentation, there's a dispute,

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then try to to bring about peace and bring the hearts together. It's a major act of reward. But some of us we do the opposite. There's actually no problem and we like the match. We just like them at light the match, we throw the match and we run away, which is the work of shape on and that's actually a shelter because sheltering an insurgent, Allah says James Bond is not only the ginger bond, you have a bliss, you have shell between an NCO Elgin, even human beings are SharePoint. And this is an act of Satan and someone who does that it's human Shere Khan

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we need to bring hearts together, not cause problems and friction.

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Not cause

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problem and friction. So going back and now trying to conclude Inshallah, on what I've been saying.

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The eight major contributor to family disputes.

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Sue have been suspicion,

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bad opinion, negative thoughts, baseless assumptions. As I said, there's two levels of this. The first level is what we call Ray theory, which is not in our capability capacity. And I said, Look, without our own doing a thought a negative thought about someone appeared and occurred and came into our hearts. We never did anything. It just came back the example I gave

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you saw someone, for example, talking in his or her mobile phone, you know, on the corner of the road. And, you know, he looks the way he's talking. This brother and you know, he's not married, and though he's talking to a lovey dovey type of talk, and you saw him from a distance, he's not married this fella. Now, just suddenly a thought came

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talking, I guess, maybe girlfriend and then suffer Allah, you just had to suffer a massive solution. And actually, the solutions are mentioned to you, brother and sisters, straightaway, stuff that stray away, no, make the vicar of Allah straightaway meet the vicar of Allah minyama have said that we should straightaway make the vicar of Allah subhanho to Allah, it's a great form of remedy.

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Right straightaway.

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One remedy I've also already mentioned to you one allergy and remedy is that we think so let's mention the remedies. Number one is we say stuffing Allah stuffing, you know, it's really bad, make the vicar of Allah. Number two straightaway, start thinking about your own thoughts and your own ape. That's another remedy anoche vet him look at me and so bad, and I do this and I'm done. And I was late for my Fajr Salah today. And I what I do in the wake of a pleasure three days ago, and then I had like a major sin, I'm this bad, and I'm bad, but I don't talk to people properly. I'm very bad in my habits and my qualities and Milla, you know, we think about how sinful we are.

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Right? So that's a very, very, very powerful, very powerful remedy to avoid suspicion. So going back to the example, you're walking, and you saw his brother, and you know, he's not married, and you saw him on his mobile phone for the past 20 minutes, he's walking up and he's talking on his mobile, and that's a bad opinion came to the head.

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And then straightaway, this is what we need to do. Make the vicar of Allah, remember Allah, Allah, I don't want this negative thoughts, stuff at all. And then think about how bad you are.

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That you will not be sinful, you'll be rewarded, Allah will reward you, you will get Jana brother, because of this seriously, you will get Jana,

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you will earn the paradise of Allah subhanho wa taala. And that's not sinful. But if you did the opposite, which is the second level, which is theory, and now it's in your hands, you have power, it's in your capability, it's in your ability, it's within your control. You allowed it, you allowed this conjecture, this assumption, this presumption, this thought this idea to

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carry on lingering into your heart, and you gave it more strength, you endorsed it, you supported it, you thought, definitely I fought so you know, he's still not married. And I knew he had a girlfriend all along and I knew his LinkedIn. You know, and then he thought, you know, at that time, his brother he had a you know, he was a very, very particular by his phone and he was texting away.

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And now you want to make sense. And all this adds up one at one. Oh, right. Okay, item at that time. Okay. That's what he was doing the other time when he had to quickly go somewhere. And somebody called him and okay, this is how Noah

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sins after sins haram of Tahara. And becomes even worse, when you get to the level three, during the first level is not sinful. That was a second level when all these thoughts you're giving, supporting the idea that same for it's still in your heart. And level three will become even worse as level two as we were going up, you are doing deeper in the heart, making all these things in the heart. And level three, which was even worse is when you actually told someone I mean, you tell someone and you actually speak to someone, oh, you know what, he's got a girlfriend and you know, he's involved in a love relationship. That's even worse. And that's major. So really, brothers and sisters, avoid

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Soobin avoid suspicion, even in family matters. Our disputes many of our problems, because what happens because when we start having these thoughts, when we deal with people in a different way, we tell someone something about someone, then that causes the other person to become upset. And then that could relate to that result in argumentation and fights and quarrels and disputes. Right? And eventually it'll just break hearts and you will eventually break relationships. So therefore you shall Allah may Allah subhanaw taala enable all of us to avoid Soobin May Allah enable all of us to avoid

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By the opinion and suspicion about people may Allah subhanahu Attallah grant us the trophy to have her snowbank have good opinion always with Allah and with all the believers in sha Allah, Allahu Subhana Allah Allah grant is the ability that our fear to act upon what is being said Inshallah, and I pray to Allah that He gives me the trophy, and me the ability first and foremost to act upon and practice on all these guidelines that we are discussing, and that we avoid family disputes and we avoid disputes full stop to sha Allah Bernetta cobalamin into severe I mean, whatever Allina amo learner in the contento Rahim is Aquila head for listening brothers and sisters of political Rihanna

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was tougher Allah wa sallahu wa salam ala Sayidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam, wa salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh