Social and Family Conflicts 09 Snooping

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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AI: Summary © The transcript is a series of disconnected sentences and phrases that are not related to the main topic. The transcript is difficult to summarize as it appears to be a long discussion. The transcript is a series of disconnected sentences and phrases that are not related to the main topic. The transcript is difficult to summarize as it appears to be a long discussion. The transcript is difficult to summarize as it appears to be a long discussion.
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Bismillah your Walkman you're walking

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through less money, Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen

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Alhamdulillah Hamden, new Irving and the whole new curfew mozzie. Your banner Rachael handle comedian Bobby vigilante was recovery albumin so tonic Subhanak Allahu Muda. Enough Susanna and Erica intercom athenee The other NF sick.

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Why should we either Hallo la hula Cherie Sharika shadow Agnes a udana Have you been sweating our eternal Mohammedan Dooku pseudo Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Muhammad or other early here by you being a poor hearing was herb, the engineering or the aquarium interview.

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We did a lot of aluminum and fat one hour one for an RV my limp tena was in Subhanak Allahumma Milena in Harlem tena in Hollywood Hakeem

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Allahumma Arenal haka How long was an active renal thriller thriller was opened Xtina, well, that had

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respected brothers dear listeners, sisters Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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once again, I join you today

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with my daily discussion, discourse talk

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and verse on the topic of family disputes, the causes of family disputes and the solutions

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as it was introduced,

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that today in sha Allah, the evening with the help and assistance of Allah subhanahu dialer,

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I shall be discussing cause number nine actually want to mention 10 causes. So, you can imagine that we are now coming to the end of this series of talks.

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After today, I will be with you for another two more days, Wednesday and Thursday, before we conclude in sha Allah. So, today we have cause number nine and then we have one more cause which will be discussed over the next two days. Yesterday jealousness.

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I discussed with you

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cause number eight

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and that cause was regarding

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Sue have done.

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And I mentioned to you that

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cause number eight and nine both are based on a particular verse of the Quran in surah gerat

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superficie right, as I mentioned yesterday is extremely important Surah of the Quran, the verses in there are extremely relevant to our day to day in social interaction.

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The resident Surah Al gerat, they are

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extremely important for

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you the social interaction between family members and human beings.

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Now,

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the verse that I recited yesterday

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one verse was already discussed, which was causing number seven, or family disputes, misunderstandings, which was based on your ladina injure, converse on being in vain, etc.

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But cause number eight, which I discussed yesterday was based on this particular verse, amazing verse of the Quran in surah Taha gerat Yeah, you your levena Anna new Oh, you who believe each tenable cathedra may have been avoided, much suspicion in battle, the one Ethem because

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some

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suspicion is sinful. And then Allah said, Well, it just says who do not spy do not become an investigator. And then he said, Well, I have with a bow bow bow, one of you should not backbite another. Now this particular verse of the Quran, dear listeners

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of Surah Girod.

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It's a unique verse. And there's actually an amazing team what we call an order between

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Various three injunctions in this particular verse, Allahu Subhana, who had died our loan and our Creator has forbidden three, three activities, three things Allah has forbidden in this particular verse.

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The first one was discussed yesterday's Soobin be NAS having bad opinion about other people. And as you know, yesterday in extreme detail I discussed, you know, having negative thoughts and Ill opinions and bad opinions about others and baseless assumptions, allowing conjecture to come into the heart without facts. So, basically, you know, having bad opinions about people that's called Soobin. And we discussed that as cause number eight family disputes in extreme detail yesterday. But that's the first injunction, Allah subhanaw taala in the vessel of this verse of solid majority says here you will let in each 10 Evil cathedra men have been Oh, you who believe avoid much suspicion,

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because suspecting suspicion means suspecting the solution, which I discussed yesterday was what was it giving people the benefit of the doubt, right, giving people the benefit of the doubt. So if someone you know, you suspect them to be doing something, you always try to explain it away. Someone is doing something, you explain to me you interpret it in a nice way you give them the benefit of the doubt, right. So, that is an extremely helpful solution to family disputes. If we do that many of our problems will be solved and would disappear.

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So, the first injunction is to have good opinion. Having bad opinion is a major sin, suspecting people of always doing something, suspicion is a major cause for family disputes solution.

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Give people the benefit of the doubt. And now that was discussed yesterday in detail and I mentioned the solution or the ways of, you know, removing the these kinds of thoughts and suspecting a suspicion and suspecting things from the mind. That was the first hokum first command, the first injunction ALLAH SubhanA, who had died, I will order and create has has mentioned in this particular verse, right, that's the first one. Oh, you believe I'm trying to mention this amazing, you know, systematic order that Allah has mentioned, it's just so unique. Seriously, it's just so unique.

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So Allah says, Yeah, you will let me know Shinobu cathedra may have been Oh, you who believe avoid much suspicion suspecting. Now, this order is actually you know, has been mentioned this unique, you know, connection between these three prohibitions imam of what Abdullah? Toby Rahima hula, the great commentator of the Quran.

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As mentioned this in his commentary in his FCF Imams of police Rahim Allah was an amazing scholar, a famous imam from Cordoba. Cordoba is modern day current date Cordoba in Spain, which was Islamic Spain, and emammal oratory Rahimullah was from this place called Cordoba. And he's an amazing character and one of the great scholars of our ummah. Specifically, he was great Maliki scholar. Imam Al Rahim Allah is a great Maliki in fact, and he has this renowned commentary on the Quran called a German academic Quran. So in it when commentating on this verse, he says that Allah subhanho wa Taala has mentioned a very unique way of mentioning these three commands isn't there's a

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very unique and amazing intriguing point here. And the 13th The order is is so interesting, because he says that look, Allah subhanaw taala first First of all, he forbade us from suspecting right baseless assumptions, negative thoughts, bad opinion. Allah say each Danny boo cathedra minute one, avoid bad opinion about people without any facts and figures don't make baseless assumptions and negative thoughts and baseless presumptions. That's the first commit. Now, somebody might think in their mind that okay, right, Allah Subhana Allah has forbidden me to have negative thoughts and bad opinions about other people without any facts and figures.

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And Allah has prohibited me baseless assumptions. So let me let me allow me to go and investigate. That thought might come into their mind

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and they look suspicion. Each journey will get here on may have been avoided suspicion, suspicion is sinful. So I'm not going to just suspect I'm going to avoid Allah has forbidden suspicion. So forget, you know baseless assumptions. I will I will find

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out, I will research I will investigate.

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If that thought comes into the mind, Allah subhanaw taala straightaway, and this is the unique part straightaway which many mukha theorem and have been in Nevada one ism and then he said, if that thought comes into your mind, then Allah special straightaway he said, Well, Erica just says who do not investigate, do not research, do not go and trying to find out people's ill habits. And that's our cause number nine today, while it just says,

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What are the justices who do not investigate that just suits in Arabic? They're just

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there though. That's why from where we have the word Jasoos. It's an Arabic term Jasoos. Jasoos is a informant, a detective?

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Amazing what it just says, Do not go investigate. It's not my job or use your brothers and sisters. And actually, this is one of the major reasons of many of our problems again in the society.

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Because we want to go and look and search for other people's ills. It's not my job, to find out who's doing what, in the privacy of the homes. It's not your job. We do not work for the FBI. Seriously, we don't work for the FBI. We're not we don't work for the Mi five.

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It's not our duty, it's our responsibility. We all have bad and good things within ourselves. And that's why the Hadith the messenger sallallahu alayhi, wa aalihi wa Sahbihi was a lemma said that whoever conceals

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the ills of other people, Allahu subhanho wa Taala will conceal his or her ills. And since on the day of piano, and whoever goes and searches for the ills of people, Allah will show his field in the presence of everybody on Yamaha piano. It's not my job or your job, whatever just says, Do not be a spy. Allah says what our teacher says. First of all, do not suspect baseless assumptions. But if somebody thinks in their mind that look, you know what I'm not going to have baseless assumptions I'll be a spy I'll go and investigate a research Allah straightaway said well attach a session his bandits is prohibited us is made it haram for us to go and become a spy to be a detective to go and

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research to go and investigate to go and find out the hills and the sins

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of other people.

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Amazing test deep and then just to complete this 13th and this order remember Otto be rockin hola says that somebody might think that you know what? I don't I'm not going to investigate the the person does haram things right in front of me. I know that bad habits of this person he does in front of me. So I'm not suspecting it's not baseless assumption. Neither do I No need to go and investigate. It's just it's happening right in front of me. So Allah says straightaway, even if you know on your show, even if you know without even investigating what I have heard about Dokkan Battle but do not go and talk about it to others don't backbite amazing, amazing order SubhanAllah.

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So brothers and sisters, this is our ninth cause today for family disputes is what

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they're just investigating people's faults, researching and trying to find out the faults of other people within the family as well. It's not our duty to to find all the sun. If you remember last year before Iftar those who were listening to Radio Ramadan last year, I taught a book called min edible Islam mean edible Islam,

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which is a book authored and written by Sheikh Abdul Fatah Bahadur Rahim Allah which i i taught throughout the month of Ramadan, and they were actually recorded. They're all available on the internet 22 lessons, the whole book that I took last year in the month of Ramadan, similar time, they're all recorded Alhamdulillah and they're all available on my website, which inshallah you know, you know, probably will I will give probably towards the end of the show, or the last show, all of the 22 lessons are available there. If you remember, we had etiquettes of you know, visiting and etiquettes of being a guest. There was some extremely important issues mentioned in there about

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being a Jasoos that even within the family, extremely important things like we should not open other people's letters. If someone's letter comes your sons, your daughters, your sisters, your brothers, your siblings, husband, wife, you know, you have to be very careful. Privacy respect, people's privacy, and that's why I discussed last year as they look Islam generally dislikes us being nosy.

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But unfortunately some of us especially within some of the Asian communities, we love being nosy

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we are who who's bought what car and when did you buy this car and who's

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driving pattern you drive past and people can stare at you. Okay, they're having this, these visitors are coming and this has happened. We need to try to sometimes be, you know,

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you know when you try to if you want to genuinely help people or we should help them but sometimes you really need to be trying to mind our own businesses to put it politely.

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Islam generally doesn't like all of this to be nosy to be an investigator to put our noses in the affairs of other people. And that's why all these are major sins haram. That just suits the Hadith the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi, WA early he was sahbihi wa sallam mentioned, what I just said Sue, while at the hustle, he mentioned two things, one at the justice with a gym. And while at the hassles with a hat without the duct.

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Some of the other must have the both the same thing you can actually say that just says who and has this too and the verse in the Quran which says what I just said to another para, another way of reading that is perhaps, in the Hadith to several things have been mentioned some scholars, they actually do, you know, distinguished and differentiated between the two and they made made they explain the look, the difference between his gestures is that a human being wants to always want to find out the ills and the sins and the defects of other people. Right. And Tasos is, you know, to be trying to the hassles means trying to find out the secrets of people secretly to find out you know,

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people secrets in a secret way. So that justice is in general, in a general sense, Allah has made haram for us to investigate it and become a detective and trying to find out the ills and the sins and the bad habits of other people. And the hustlers which is also Haram is to secretly you know, funnel people secret listen to people's conversation, trying to find out the secrets of people which is haram

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which is haram and it creates a lot of problems a lot of problems in the community seriously causes a lot of problems within the family as well. It's absolutely haram to open someone else's letter pick up in the house of your brothers and sisters, to pick up other people's phones and and see who the texting and who's texting and things like that. Okay, last year, I did mention as well, in the dark when I was talking about certain rules about parents and children. Again, you have to be very careful. But there are certain relaxations for parents when they're doing therapy of the young children. If they're old grown up children, then you can't there's privacy. Remember, last year,

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edible Islam and those of you who have not heard, I really strongly encourage you to go onto my website. In the audio section, there's 22 lessons free of charge. There's no charge whatsoever. Listen to all of them in sha Allah, Min edaville Islam that I taught, and they're all recorded, and then there after Hamdulillah, a lot of other people started teaching who studied by me study started teaching these kinds of

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courses. So listen to him, I don't want to repeat. That's why there are certain relaxations in terms of parents with the young children. But brothers and sisters, if you have a sibling, at home, and you have a sister, you're you're 21, and you have another sister is 23. Or even she's 19. You don't go and open a handbag without her permission, which will cause problems. You don't open up you know, purse or you know, you don't, you know, pick up her mobile phone and start checking who or she was texting and this and that. You don't do all of those kinds of things. You don't go and check her personal belongings. You don't listen to people's conversation, it's haram.

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If someone's talking from upstairs and you pick up the phone from downstairs, and you know, try to listen to overhear people's conversation. I discuss all of this last year. I don't want to repeat it brothers and sisters, but all of this was discussed in detail, overhearing people's conversations, trying to you know, pretend you're not listening or when two people are sitting there and you try and there are verses in the Quran about this, then when two people are sitting, don't don't you know, go and put yourself in the middle. In the Hadith as well. There are clear guidelines regarding this by the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So in this particular verse, Allah

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subhanho wa Taala forbids us from Justice, the justice and the hassles,

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which is trying to find out the ills and the evils of other people's rights, the evils of other people trying to investigate, trying to research and it can cause a lot of problems. It'll cause family problems, because sometimes you know, you find out something about them, which you did not like and then that's it problems after problems after problems. So just avoid it. Something not known is better for us many times, brother and sisters, things if we don't know about them, it's better for us. Really, if we don't know about them, it's better

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For us,

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so just, you know, try not to find out because then it sometimes when we, you know, many things are, the better that they're not, they're not known by us, we should not, you should not know them. And if you don't know them, he will hurt us. But the moment we start going to investigate and try to get to the bottom and try to find out and who did what, and when was she doing this? And when was he doing that, and just upset his more and more, it's just, it will never solve any problems, it will just carry on and on and it's just going to cause distress, and fights and calls and arguments. So, we should just get active with our own duties and responsibilities, what we have to do,

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do not try to investigate within the family special

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do not look for the ills of other people. That remedy like us today, the remedy is nothing but

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that we look at our our own ills and our own false

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our own faults, we look at our own faults, that that's the that's the remedy. So I am sinful you know, I'm not I'm not an angel. I do a lot of bad things myself. So why do I go and why do I need to go and search for the other people's, you know, bad habits.

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This is a reason why I find a lot of disputes in our communities. You know, these are all basic Subhanallah rules and etiquette of Islam. And the reason why we have all these problems in the community and all these you know argumentations is because we as Muslims do not act upon these commandments and these laws set down in the Quran and Sunnah. And these commandments given to us by Allah subhanaw taala anywhere in the world brother and sisters, I tell you one thing, anywhere where you find that there is a argumentation, a problem or a dispute or a conflict within the family or anywhere.

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Wherever you find that there is a problem, then rest assured be assured that

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it was due to not acting upon a particular injunction or teaching or guideline of the Quran and Sunnah.

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Seriously, that is the bottom line.

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That argumentation that problem that fight at corrode occurred because of leaving on because of not acting upon a particular guideline given to us by the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam, O Allah subhanaw taala himself.

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These are all things that contribute. These are all you know, acts which Allah has forbidden and the messenger SallAllahu hallucinogen are forbidden. Why have they forbidden them? Because they all contribute and result in argumentation. Like for example, it says, there's a hadith of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Nathan Nerja is the nanny do nefarious.

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Two people should not

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whisper

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to one another. should not talk secretly when a third person is a monster. It's a major haram but we we overlook this, right? It's a major haram. Why? Because if a person will feel extremely isolated, you think what are they talking about me?

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Or they're whispering something about me? Again, in the family? Again, this this old,

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don't do like whisperings on the phone

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to people talking within family extended families. Now the daughter in law, the mother knows the system knows talking with someone else. And the children think oh, she's probably doing pretty well by me. And something's being said about me and I should go investigate. This is a basic ruling. Let interject do not do that.

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Do not do that. It's haram, when it's haram. The reason is that because if we do it, it's going to create problems and friction within the family. Likewise, another command given to the other person is looking at when two people are sitting and talking secretly, don't go there. Don't go and plant yourself in the middle of two people. Two people talking, don't go and become nosy. This is a form of justice as well. Two people are talking secretly. You know, like I mentioned last year, that sometimes what happens is two people are there's people talking and you know, you know the talking secretly asks permission, can I join you? Can I join your conversation? Feel free to ask can I join

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your conversation?

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Sometimes we're eating to people are there's like a lot of people eating their tubular talking, we just pretend we're not listening to them, but our ears are totally glued to what they say. This is all the gestures. This is all trying to overhear people.

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The example I already gave somebody talking from upstairs on the phone in your house and you pick up the phone from downstairs and trying to overhear them. Major haram sinful, totally sinful, totally sinful.

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You know, slowly, slowly, tiptoeing and trying to find out your sister or your brother or if someone, your wife or your husband is talking to someone, slowly, so let me see who is he talking to? Now let's let me see, you know, what is he up to?

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Right? So these kinds of investigations, I'm suspicious, we need to really avoid.

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As I said, these are general rulings that are yes, in specific scenarios. There are exceptions, like a parent has suspicion that the adult child is involved in a lawful relationship, then yeah, there are exceptions. In terms of Serbia, so ask a scholar, right, that look, this is something can I do, can I not do generally for parents in regards to parents and their young children, and even if they're, if they're actually grown up children who have married and have kids and things like that, then parents their responsibilities, actually, after marriage? Somewhat, a lot of the responsibility of the parents is now taken away from them. Yes, they have a general suit role of supervision. But

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you know, the tarbiyah, things like that they married off now they have their own family, so that a lot of the responsibility is taken away. Before marriage, yes, they're in your custody, your children are in your guardianship. But you have to be very careful, don't don't tip toe and don't, these are kinds of things you shouldn't do. Parents need to be very careful when they do therapy. And that's not my topic as well, actually, you know, parents therapy, because that's another topic. It's completely another area altogether. I gave a talk on this a few weeks ago, when I was in Canada, an hour and a half talk about parents and children, their relationship. It's a different

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topic. But there's a really good book for parents to read. Ideal mother, an ideal father, the father should read ideal father, the mother should read ideal mother, it's an amazing book, which was translated from altering to English, there are guidelines, you know, parents, you should Don't, don't tip toe and don't, you know, always snoop around your children because they frighten them, you'll frighten them. And they'll always be trying to you know, try to hide some things from you. The more you snoop around, the more you you know, go secretly the more they will hide nothing, okay, my parents this as well, and that as well. So just be open about things don't do these kinds of

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things. So they can be open to you as well, Inshallah, but there are guidelines, and there are exceptions between parents and children, but generally in the family, snooping around investigating, detecting, researching, and trying to find out going to the depth of who did what, sometimes you might know something in a general sense, fine. That's it. Your child in a general sense, you know, that is involved in some kind of relationship, unlawful relationship, illicit relationship, given good advice, given goodness you have, and talk to them and deal with the issue, tackle with issue there are ways but don't start then going into the nitty gritties. And the details that you want to

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know every single minut detail of what they were doing. Because then I'm going to tell them, come on, who wants to know if they did some simple activity. You as a parent, you must have done some sinful activity, you want someone to know exactly every single detail that you do have you in your life now none of us do. None of us want

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others to know of every single minut detail of day and night of what we do in our lives. Nobody does. Okay, and we don't want Allah subhanaw taala to expose these bad things of ours on the day of the AMA, we don't want to and and the one who repents a terrible minute then become Aladdin Bella, a terrible minute then become another Mullah. The Messenger of Allah salAllahu Alaihe Salam says that a person who repents from his sins is as though he has never committed a sin.

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And to the point that even the angels, the Koran and Kathleen Yagoona might have alone in the love rural affinity for JIRA feature him, you know, the, the angels that are recording everything, even they are made to forget, so that nobody knows only Allah knows, and Allah will conceal insha Allah as long as we have this capacity within ourselves, to hide, to conceal, to cover the faults of other people and in this world, we really need to do that. We need to avoid spreading rumors about people we need to avoid. Even if somebody is guilty of something. It's not our responsibility. Sometimes, you know, we sometimes we think we're very practicing. It's a very, very unfortunate fact. It's a

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sad fact of life. This happens within so called practicing people. Sometimes someone becomes practicing that says, you know that they've conquered the world and I'm just practicing everyone, especially newly practicing people. Everyone on the face of the earth and really bad that's it, you know, you get that extra Georgian zeal and you become so zealous about thing, not jealous, zealous from zeal, and you become overhyped and this is haram brother, this is haram sister and you know

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This one is nobody who has the niqab and the old sinful and you're going to hell and this is gonna relax you take it easy this is not the way I'm robbing my roof now here and in mooncup, enjoying the good and forbidding the evil. Allah says in the Quran, good. lsap Rebecca will Hekmati will know Everton has an invite you as your LORD with good preaching with good wisdom with hikmah. With with nice preaching, that's the way to preach. When you do something, when you see someone doing something wrong, sinful activity, the way to tackle that is not stuffing Allah, you didn't know you have a concern for them. It's like, you know, somebody's got a cancer, or you're going to shatter,

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someone's got to cancer, this person is ill, this person sick, they need to be treated. Someone is hurt, you know.

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For example, a alcohol addict is diseased. If you have someone in the family or relatives, friends, they're diseased, they have illness. Imagine you have a friend or a brother or a sister, someone who's got cancer or has some major illness, or you're gonna get shattered them will tell them you know, why do you have cancer? Why are you why are ill and what know you feel a concern you have, you have the sympathy in your heart for them.

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You know you if you feel you feel bad for them, and you have a genuine concern and you really want them to become healthy, you feel sorry for them, you feel saddened at the situation. And that's exactly how we should feel when someone has a spiritual illness. Because since our spiritual illnesses, any kind of sin, first of all, pray to Allah make dua for them, and then have this concern in your heart for them. Make dua to Allah first and foremost, and then have this concern in the heart. Don't shout at them. That's not the way be sorry for them and be saddened for them. You know, just as somebody has a physical illness, what do we do we feel sorry for them and we say I

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hope this person gets cured. Likewise, we need to be you know, concerned about the situation and then we go in a nice gentle way. Make Naseeha give advice in an extremely gentle way. In a nice way it sits in the heart seriously to sit in the heart for us. Look at Canada confit rasool Allah Who sweeten Hassan who is the best example for us dear brothers, sisters listeners, the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Allah says in the Quran, you can is his practice and his habit and his behavior.

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Numerous examples one example a famous Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and elsewhere.

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The messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa sallam was sat in the masjid a villager a Bedouin came into the masjid in the masjid of the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa aalihi wa sahbihi wa sallam shot urinating in the corner of the Masjid. Sahara looked at him What is he doing?

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The company companions are the Allahu Anhu the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that oh who leave him it's okay leaving let him finish now he started urinating in the masjid. Imagine a person coming into one of our messages salata tarawih time in the corner of the messenger urinating

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for in fighting next minute he probably have to end up in the hospital or some people might just you know I don't know what to do to him. Hila Masha Allah probably come out with him fractured bones and bruised eyes and Allah knows what really look at the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that oh who Leave him leave him.

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And then he said, leave him Let him finish. And he said to the Sahaba once he finishes, just clean the area with water, pour some water and clean the area. It can be cleansed.

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And then afterwards he went up to him and he said to him in a such a nice gentle way, brother in the head of the hill masajid let us know who the shaman had were in Nana Healy Vickery Allah He was solid, he will come up with the Quran. These places houses of worshipping Allah, they are not appropriate for things like URI meeting. These places, houses of Allah are designated for what LiveChat Allah He, for the vicar remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala for the Tilawat of Quran recitation of the Quran, or salah and prayer, it's not appropriate to do things like this. This is just one example. Many examples the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the way he dealt with

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such issues, and that's why one of the better ones after that he said, from our aid to a lemon, us an amine who sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I have never seen a better teacher than the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa salam SubhanAllah. That's his our role model. He's our role model. So sometimes when we become extremely practicing brothers

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What happens is are we just you know, really we we have this extra zeal about ourselves and extra energy by the Haram and this is haram and this is surely this is wrong and sister you know this 70 Assist tissues, she was really outgoing and this today she starts wearing the hijab, niqab and everything and that's it every other system has become like the worst person in the world. We don't hate people, we dislike the sinful activity. We don't hate people, right? We don't hate non Muslims, we dislike the coffer. That disbelief and we we pray for them, Allah give them a guy and guidance. And that's the concern, the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam had. So therefore when somebody is

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doing something bad, whether in your family, whether it's your brothers, sisters, your children, your relatives, whoever they may be, or whoever they are, or generally any Muslims, when they are doing anything bad. Don't, don't treat them as though they are some twisted individuals. Don't treat them as though they are really bad. And that's it and they don't deserve to be even spoken to or anything like that.

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And don't start searching and going into knowing more about them. And yeah, he's such a bad person. Look at him. He's doing this haram and that's not our job. We don't work for the FBI. As I said, we're not part of some detective group or agency. That's Allah to deal with. And Allah knows, we don't need to find out the ills of people seriously. It's not our duty responsibility, brothers and sisters, to go and search and look for people's faults. We need to turn a blind eye, the first injunction was extendible cathedra man of man, you should give benefit of the doubt. And then the second injunction is don't go and investigate. We need to look at our own or you in order for us,

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you know, we have we have bad habits. So why don't we you know, think about our own selves.

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We should think about our own selves really.

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So, this causes this digesters which is trying to find out the ills and evils of people causes major problems in the family. Many examples of that, as I said lot of things which are not known.

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It's better for us they're not known, the more better for us.

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So the ninth cause of family disputes is that just investigating trying to find out the ills and evils of other people solution, June avoid, avoid snooping around avoid such investigation. Avoid researching and look going into the depth of other people's faults and ills. Avoid it, we really for the sake of Allah avoided what we need to do we need to be concerned about our own selves. How can we find time to go and look into other people's bad false, when we are guilty ourselves of so many other bad activities? Every single one of us? Nobody can say that I don't have problems or I don't have bad habits in my life, every single one of us. And I am not saying that it's in the Hadith. The

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messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, good loot Benny

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ood Kulu the word he used was called Kulu Benny Adam, balloon, viral Hapa in a taboo.

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The whole of humanity. Cool. Look, the word cool. Ask anyone who knows Arabic Kulu all of humanity all, every one of us is sinful. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said after that the best amongst us

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is the one who repents and asks for sincere repentance. So we all have false. It's a major disease that some of us have really that we want to go and try to find out details of other people's activities.

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Whether they're guilty or not, it's not our duty, whoever the person may be. What we're going to do find out who who, someone how guilty he is on it. So it doesn't concern us. We will not be asked on the Day of Judgment.

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Chef one of the subcontinent shoe, I think it was Mufti Shaffir Rahim Allah was once asked about someone,

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a past person who had passed away. What do you think about this person? Was he a sinful past person or not? He has said, yeah, he asked him about years, you know, years he was the son of Satan. And we are we are the Allahu Anhu. He is He is a contentious individual, controversial individual.

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You know, there's a lot written about him, and I don't want to go into details about him because there's no time. But anyway, somebody asked if the Shafi Rahim Allah was yes, he's a first a sinful person or not. Now the RMSE the look, we'll start something we should discuss, especially for the people who have passed away. So you know what he said. He said,

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I don't have time to investigate whether he was sinful or not. You know what I'm more concerned about whether I am fasting or not, whether and sinful or not. We

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especially for the people who have passed away. teleco Mattoon, but harlot Mahama cassava.

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Welcome back to what I tell you in America. Those who are the people who have passed away these scholars and predecessors they've gone they've passed away they've left an indelible Tamia has gone Sharma who didn't even out of his passed away these great scholars controversial or contentious or whatever, they have gone Tilka on nuttin, they were a people like Khaled they've gone, you will not be questioned. Let us assume they have what they've done. They will get what they did. And you will get what you did be concerned about yourself. I'm gonna say if you're Latina Herman or Ali Coleman fullcycle he can owe you believe, can be concerned about your own self alikoum and full circle, be

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concerned about your own self, now your local mandala and after data, those people who have deviated they will not, it's not going to harm you.

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So, really, we need to bring this in our lives, not get too much deep into the affairs of other people and investigating other people's activities. Really, if we do that, in short, Allahu Taala format Inshallah, we will avoid a lot of family disputes. So yeah, we come to the end of today's discussion Jazak Allah, wa salam alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh