Marriage and Sexual Relations in Islam

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari


Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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AI: Summary © The segment discusses the title of Islam, including the misunderstandings of sex and the importance of marriage in shaping behavior. The segment also touches on the physical and mental demands of marriage, including the need to pay bills and handle responsibilities during marriage. The importance of writing in Arabic and avoiding negative feedback is emphasized, along with the need for finding a woman who is truly a woman and not just a woman. The segment also emphasizes the importance of working on one's heart before marriage and giving good qualities to others.
Transcript ©
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Love Your Money Rahim. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah he Hamdan us in Yama who you perfumers either your opener local handbook and I am Bobby Lee jewelry with hickory Aldi, muscle body Subhanak Allahumma

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adic gamma athenee Darla Nasik Why should hola hola hola hola hola Cherie Cara who I should do Anessa you don't want to be you know what have you been? What was what in our car Donna? Mohammed and arc de hora Surah Surah Allah He was Saddam Who are they who are the early hippo? You've been up all he did was the Harvard th Marine or other complementary or whom via CERN in either yummy Dean Allahumma alumina. In fact, when I went further in my LinkedIn I was in Subhanak, Allahumma darlin, Medina in Argentina in her team, Aloha Marina la haka, haka was open attiva renal about Willibald xopenex dinner, but Robert, respected brothers sisters, Assalamu alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

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which is aka La Jolla. To all of you for coming today to this event, may Allah reward your efforts. I know it's Friday evening, you may want to go home. And I'm not going to talk for too long actually suggested that I don't talk but the organizers said I should say some words. I also would like to thank the two other speakers with the Adorama liberal use of May Allah reward his efforts, a great talk.

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A great, dear and beloved friend of mine who I know for a long time we studied together. And recently we've been traveling together as well. And also before that Chef Ibrahim, no laureates panel the other reward in his efforts for coming today. And blessing our gathering.

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My talk is about the title that you've seen on this beauty of marriage. So we finally get to this poster, beauty of marriage in Islam.

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And then I'll talk briefly just about the book in sha Allah Hudaydah.

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We all know that marriage is a beautiful thing. Well, we should all know.

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Maybe if you ask someone was married, they might just say it's an ugly thing.

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Like, there was this brother who was asked, after he got married, somebody said to him, how's marriage? How's married life?

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Said, I just got married. I can't reply. I can't tell you asked me after a few weeks, after a few months. So he met him again. And he said, I asked you last time How's marriage? He said asked me after a few months, how his marriage life How is married life.

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So he said in Arabic, and if you know Arabic, you'll appreciate this, he said, should also have fish. So Russia hurry,

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or muda hurry, Kosovo, the hurry

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marriages. So Russia her in a month of happiness, or Mujahideen. And then after that, a lifetime of sorrow and Kusu the breaking of your back?

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Well, it's not supposed to be like that. We have to make marriage beautiful. In Islam, marriage is probably the most beautiful thing. And it's an act of a burden. And Islam. The approach of Islam to marriage is very moderate. As with everything else in Islam, moderation is the best way, the middle way Hello moody also to her, and marriage is no different. And in Islam, you see, Islam recognizes the human need of marriage. We have two extremes. Here. We have one extreme in some societies and in some

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cultures that in some religions where this desire, the sexual lust and desire is considered to be something evil, wrong, bad.

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There is no right way of fulfilling your sexual desire. If you look in Christianity, we have celibacy in Christianity. Why? If you look at the book of sins that have jealousy, hatred, lust, sexual desire, there's no right way of fulfilling your sexual desire. Sexual desire is wrong, bad, evil, full stop. And that's why the nuns can't get married. The priests can't get married. The pastor cannot get married the Pope, the bishop can't get married. They don't get married, but they do other things. But that's another story.

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Because you are approaching your life in an unnatural way. Islam says having this desire to marry is absolutely normal, natural, it's natural. And to to say that we will live a life of celibacy is going against the FITARA upon which Allah subhanaw taala

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Allah created you. So Islam recognizes this. And that's one extreme where we say that that's it. This desire is wrong. It's unhealthy. It's a dirty thing.

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Even some Muslims have fallen prey to this. And I've actually discussed this in his book where I've got a section where I've said sexist charity. And forgive me for my words. And I'm going to be maybe quite blunt in some of the terminologies, we all adults here, of course, we don't have any children. But in the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was quite explicit, and I've got introduction in this book, I'll talk about the book anyway, in a few minutes, but

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then this whole approach that it's unhealthy, so I was saying that some of the Muslims have fallen prey to this, where they think any discussion on matters relating to sexual intercourse, sexual intimacy is wrong, it's dirty, its filthy. It's like one brother said to me, this uncle, he said to me that it's like going to the toilet. You know, just relieving yourself. It's just do your job and finish, you know, that's it. It's just a need. It's not like that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a hadith will be both a modicum sadhaka it's a famous Hadith were some of the companions of the Allahu Anhu they came to the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam sejahtera surah

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Allah, the Sahaba Allah do thornbill Uju than the rich people. They have taken away all the good rewards they've gone away with the rewards. Why? Because yet Asada Hooda commanded esodoc Were so Munna commando soon. Wait for the Lunar be we're gonna be formally unveiling him. Yeah, so Munna coma and asumu. You saw Luna commando Solly where the South Dakota we follow the unwary him. We pray they pray the rich people. We fast they fast, but they have extra money. They can give in charity, they give and put in the boxes for our brothers in Gaza. And they give to Omaha for trust. We don't have too much money to give so they get more reward. So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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said said should I not tell you that something that is there is charity for you as well. There's different forms of charity. But remember, that does not mean that you should just exchange this charity for a different form of charity. There are what were the other mercy words you will walked the need that the action of the time what's needed right now, like sometimes some of the companions came to the messenger SallAllahu wasallam and said Yo rasool Allah, or yulara Murray Rothbard, what's the most virtuous, virtuous action? So to sum he said, was Salah to Allah bhakti her, offering prayer on its time, sometimes he responded by saying, a jihad Luffy sebelah jihad in the

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path of Allah, sometimes he said barrel worry then different answers same question, why? This is what we call word you will walk the need of the time. So of course, if the need of the time is right now to give some cash, and not what the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, which is also sadaqa he said, Look, you have other ways of doing sadaqa he said in Nobuko, let us be hatin, sadaqa, saying, Subhan Allah, it's an act of charity, or Kulu damnedest in South Africa, saying Alhamdulillah sadaqa we'll call it a karate in South Africa. We'll call it a religion, sadaqa Alhamdulillah La ilaha illallah these are all acts of charity. And then he said, what we bought the

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very or her Deikun saw the curtain in one of you fulfilling your sexual needs, that is reward that is sadaqa and that's why I put a title here sex, this charity, with this hadith, what we both are how they come sadaqa so the companion said, Yeah, rasool Allah at her donor shahada who were kulula Hosea are you, one of us, we fulfill our desires and we can reward in having sexual relations with our wives with our husbands. So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said,

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Are you to know whether AHA Phil Harami Akane Ali, he was, what's your opinion? Or eight? And what do you think told me let me know? Don't you think if this person was to fulfill his desires in an unlawful way, wouldn't he be sinful? They said Bella, ya rasool Allah, of course, he said, forget that it likewise Loboda are half in Khaled Canada who agile if he fulfilled his sexual needs in a rightful way, then he will receive reward. So this extreme approach that anything to do with marriage and sex is wrong, it's filthy, it's dirty. This is not the Islamic approach. last hoorah of Islam. The hadith says there is no celibacy in Islam. Islam recognizes this need of humans to marry.

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Islam recognizes this need and that's what Allah says in the Quran Warlock or Santa Rosa men Kubelik, which are known as word young widow Rhea, all the prophets that we sent, all of them were married, all of them are married and all of them have children except the two. That's not in the verse. But in this verse, Allah says Welaka darsena Rasulullah min public ledger Allah Allah whom, as virgin will Daria

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We made for them wives as well as children and offspring. But the only two prophets all the prophets married except for two you know who the two are anybody?

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So you don't are you sir? Ben Miriam and he Salah and number two yeah here mashallah you guys are quite knowledgeable here

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only two prophets all of the married companions married so Islam recognizes this need we don't have this celibacy. You know the famous Hadith and I'm sure you know this hadith as well, and Sahil, Bihari and elsewhere, three companions came to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and to to his wife or to his house and want you to discover how he was at home about his worship about his solitude, Leyland pm Leila and tahajjud Salah and then when they were informed on taka Luna and then then they said Look, that's the Messenger of Allah. We should be doing more one of them said Walla Walla, he, you know,

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I will never sleep all night long. I'm just going to worship Allah are the ones said, Wallah. Often I will never eat. I'm going too fast. All my life the other one said Hola. Hola. Hola. Janessa by Allah I will never marry when the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam returned home his wife informed him of these people. He was amazed he said Mama Lu aquamarine current or Luca Wirkkala. What's wrong with those people who said such and such? I am the messenger of Allah. I will Saliba Anna I pray salah I wake up and I sleep

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and will assume all of the I fast and sometimes I don't fast. What others would you need sir and I marry women and I'm the Messenger of Allah. And then he said from an early Bahang sunnah de Felisa Mini has had his part of this long Hadith. It's not part of the undergarments Suniti and Nikka Herman sunnah tea from another day, but that's not the Hadith. There's one Hadith and Sunnah NewBlue measure when it's a new common sunnah de familia Mia bissonnet Eva Elisa Mini, but there's a new government zoonotic from an oral Eva and Sunnah Tifa is a mini is part of this long, long, Hadith. Nika and marriages, my sunnah, it's my son, and whoever turns away from my sunnah out of rejection

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is not from me. So Islam recognizes this need. So that's one extreme, where the approach is that marriage and to be a pious person, you have to live a life of celibacy. That's not what Islam says. Rather, your reward and your worshipping and your closeness to Allah lies in you married. And that's why it's so not to get married and great emphasis has been placed on marriage and the other extreme, where you just fulfill your desires in any way, shape, or form how you want to, without marriage in a lawful way. There's no restrictions, with relatives or close family members, with men with women with animal donkeys, everything goes like you know what I mean?

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That's the other extreme. Islam is the model that we're in the middle way. That's that's the concept of marriage, that this is, this is marriage, and it's an act of rebirth. It's an act of a birder. It's worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. We have to remember this. Many of us forget, we think marriage is just a worldly thing. It's not a worldly, worldly act. It's not a mundane, normal routine act. It's an act of a bird worshipping Allah subhanaw taala. Just like you go for heart, you're worshiping Allah. Marriage is a form of ibadah. So those who are not married, keep this in your mind this intention. I want to get married for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala to act upon the

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Sunnah of the Beloved of Allah salAllahu alayhi wa sallam, that's your intention. It's an act of a burden. It's, you see, marriage has two, two elements to it. It's a social contract, as well as rebirth, social contract, as well as a rather it's a social contract between two individuals. But at the same time, it is an act of rebirth. Now the older they some of them, said that the act of the element of it being a burden overcomes the element of it being social contract, and some are the mother said being a social contract, supersedes and overcomes that aspect of being a bad it's a small difference of opinion like, like your mama Shafi or the Allah and who may Allah be pleased

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with him. He says that being a social contract is is dominant over it's being Roberta Therefore, according to the Imam, Shafi, Radi Allahu anhu, and many other scholars, if somebody wants, if it's better for a person to

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dedicate his life to the worshipping of Allah for the headman of deen and for the servicing of religion and writing books and studying and teaching, why because if you get married,

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you will be going Sainsbury's and as every other week and changing nappies. Right. There's no time to study and it's going to interfere. So that's why we find scholars who never married like umami have no Tamia. Tamia Rahim Allah, He never married.

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Mm hmm. No, have you read the Allahu anhu, the great scholar who wrote the chef in Ethiopia and jurist and who wrote the other side of him, and many of the books the commentary of Sahih Muslim He never married.

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There's actually many scholars and one of the Great's shoe of the recent times shirehampton Fatah hodl Halaby Rahim Hola. He wrote a very beautiful book in English, which is called on reserve Alladhina Eartha ruler Illuma. Watch those bachelor scholars who preferred marriage. Sorry, who preferred knowledge over marriage. And here's a list of about 3536 people and most of them are males. And there's a female as well Karima bent. I forgot the name now. You know, there was a sister. She contacted me a while ago and she was adamant she doesn't want to marry. And she wants to she wanted to follow in the footsteps, footsteps of some this great shareholder who never married.

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So I remember looking at this team at that time, and then I mentioned that she was so happy. That's it. That's my role model Hamdulillah.

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But anyway, so some Roma preferred that but other scholars like the Hanafi school, Abu Hanifa Radi Allahu Anhu. And many of the automa they say that the aspect and the element of a bird or worshipping Allah is predominant and supersedes and comes over that aspect of it being a social contract. Therefore, it's actually better for you to marry then dedicate yourself for that for Islam or for the servicing of religion, because it's something that all the prophets did. It's the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam sunnah. The hadith is quite strong mineralia and Sunnah de Felisa Mini and the government sunnah de and there are many verses of the Quran and that there is so much

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emphasis and exaggeration in the Quran and Hadith in regards to the marriage. So therefore, marriage is a great sunnah. And it's an act of Riba. And when it's an act of Fairbrother, wanting to remember brothers and sisters,

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it's an act of Riba. Now at the time of marriage, we need to think many, many of you may have many of you may be married, but I don't think majority of you are married. But if you're not married you, I'm sure everybody has attended a marriage ceremony. What happens in the marriage ceremony, shall have dramatic reuse, it was talking about, you know, those what is the Las Vegas marriages. But anyway, sorry.

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Drive, drive through

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American phrases, you know, you just don't understand them and they don't understand our phrases. I was in Canada a few weeks ago, and we were together in one Charlottesville in April, I think. And in America, I gave a talk in April in America and you know, in my talk, I said GP general practitioner afterwards, I had about 25 people come to me. In your talk. You were talking about the story. You said a GP what's a GP? So they have some problems anyway, but

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if you've been to a marriage contract, or you've all attended a marriage ceremony, the Imam reads you know, we have a job a couple if according to Islam, just as he mentioned, a job and kaboom the proposal and acceptance. Now go to her Kabil to her. You know, I have married myself. The woman says, you know, man, I've made myself too and he says, God Bill Dookie. I have accepted you. And you have two witnesses. That's enough marriages. Marriages done. But we have this kotoba this was the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa salam Salman. And if you look and consider and think about this, what about the sermon just just think for a moment, you know, when the Imam

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conducts the marriage,

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he read recite three verses and this is actually the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. We have three verses. We have a verse of Surah, two Nyssa. We have a verse of Surah Al Imran and we have a verse of Surah Nisa in Surah Nisa, Allah subhanaw taala says, Yeah, your nurse will topple Rob Bakula? The halacha come me Neff, sinwar Haida or Holla caminhadas. Ojha. Well both of them in Houma Richard and cathedra when he said, What duckula Lolita sir Luna b1 or hang in Allah can ally kumara Taiba? Just understand these three verses? These three verses have got nothing what so ever to do with marriage. The name and the mention of Nika and marriage does not even come in

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these three verses. Allah could have well the messenger said Allah, Who do you send them could have used any other verse of the Quran? Thank you. Hello, Martha Bella Camilla Nisa in within our food as a little girl, or for example Anki How am I mean como Sonya? Hayden everybody como uma equal? Oh, there's many other verses of the Quran. He chose to recite three verses. What are these Levers is Surah Nisa your Nashotah Cora balcom oh people fear it tackle Fear your Lord. Remember this word it Takotsubo fear Lord, Allah the Halacha comin of sama Haida who created you from one soul wahala come in has Ojha from it. He created his spouse meet say that say Donna Adam Alayhis Salam and say the

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house salah. Well, this time in humare, Judd and cathedra on when he

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serve out of them to Allah subhanaw taala spread many people the creation of Allah. And then Allah repeated what duckula Fear Allah again a lady Tessa Luna be fear Allah through whom you ask and demand and seek your mutual rights. You know when you say by Allah give me my right by Allah give me my right. So fear Allah, by whom and through whom you ask each other your mutual rights, while our hammer this is connected to what type of what type of Allah let it be he will or hammer and fear and fear your fear or harm your relatives and the kinship bond that you have fear breaking and violating the rights which peoples demand from one another and fear the from fear violating and breaking and

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neglecting the rights of you or have your relatives your family members your spouses

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in Allah who can Alexandra peba Surah or Imran yeah you hola Dina, ermine otaku Allah haka Ducati. That's a second verse. Oh, you who believe Oh, who you believe the first time was oh people Oh mankind. Oh you believe fear Allah as he is ought to be feared. You Alladhina amanu tabula haka Tokaji, Walter Mutanda Illa. Unto muesli moon, do not die except in the state of iman Islam, faith and obedience. Do not die do not let death come to you, except you are in a state of submission to Allah subhanaw taala and the other verse surah Taha yeah you're Latina Ermou tabula. Again, all people all Muslims are believers. Oh, you will believe fear Allah, walk mu Poland sadita and say

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that which is correct, preserve your tongue, preserve your mouth, preserve your tongue and make sure you fear Allah in regards to what comes out. From here. We're all goal and studied your

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local welfare. Welcome, Donna. Welcome mama uterine la hora Sula, who Fahad Faza Fosun, our Lima, the end of the verse, These are the three verses now imagine,

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we need to think you know, we should learn to read Arabic and understand Arabic. We see so many phrases and we hear so many things. We don't have a clue the imam is reading an Hamdu lillahi rabbil aalameen and reciting verses of the Quran and 99% of the people behind don't have a clue what's going on. And in taraweeh salah the brothers thinking about liverpool vs Manchester United, or about the credit crunch, or if you live in the city that you're thinking about what what's happening, you know, anyway,

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understand these verses. Why did the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam choose to

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recite these three verses? What's common? What's common in this reverses?

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Fear Allah subhanho wa Taala Dukkha Dukkha why why the time of marriage because in order for marriage to be beautiful beauty of marriage in Islam, marriage in Islam can only be beautiful can only be beautiful. Remember this clearly and carefully. Marriage in Islam can only be beautiful. If both spouses the man and the woman, the brother and the sister, the husband and the wife. Both of them have Taqwa the fear of Allah prior to marriage gobbler. Nikka. Ender, Nika who abandon Nikka. prior to marriage, at the time of marriage and after marriage, if there is no Taqwa there's no fear of Allah. There's no thought of accountability before Allah subhanaw taala there is no way this

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marriage will be beautiful. There is no way this marriage will be prosperous. There is no possibility of this marriage prospering, this marriage will turn out to be ugly. Rather than being beautiful, it will become ugly seriously. And that's where we are willing to break down our marriages because we don't have taqwa and fear of Allah subhanaw taala so it all goes back to talk about before marriage started off on the right foot. Start on Shaq was talking about dating don't date

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and that doesn't mean dating doesn't really do anything anyway, as he was saying more we you know, there's so many people who are spoken to as well you know, we're problems and this and that it was love marriage by the way but anyway, what based on that I've got now most most of the people they you start off with Love marriage and dating and and so and then then we we blame arranged marriages that arranged marriages you know, you don't know one another and you end up divorced there's actually something seriously more people in dating, love marriages end up in divorce than arranged marriages. You know why? Because in arranged marriages, you've had your parents you've had hundreds,

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not hundreds, but you've got a lot of people in your family, investigating, researching, finding out the true nature reality and everything of that individual. Whereas dating yo yo you think you're in love but so lost anyway as you know, and you

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You're clouded. And the other person, it's all artificial behavior. We're just trying to impress you. You know, when you're dating, you just see one another one, when once a week, twice a week, when you come once a week, the brother will come to click the sister, you know, he'll be properly dressed up, and she'll apply all the fragrance and perfume she can and she'll try to look up as you go to a restaurant and the brothers and sisters Sit down, sit down,

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should open the door of the car. And I think you're caught up. It's really your where am I caught?

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That's what they do.

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And then what happens? That's dating. When the going gets tough, you get married, you start living together, the going gets tough responsibilities. You have to pay the electricity bill, and the gas bill and council tax, and you have to pay this and then you have to get nappies and changing the nappies. And you have to do you have to go shopping. And you know, like, you know, you have to work at your marriage marriage. It's beautiful, but it's not easy. You have to work hard to treat seriously brothers and sisters, you have to work at it. Now the true nature react that that was just all artificial, external behavior. That all goes out the window, the true reality, the true nature,

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the true colors of the person comes up and rises up when the going gets tough. And more bone data design at a human being is hidden under his tongue. Very nice, very gentle, very sweet, very polite. But when it gets difficult when you travel with someone like say the amarapura Katara, the Allahu Anhu. Somebody came and praised another individual. He said, Have you traveled with him said no. Have you made a transaction with him? He said no. Have you lived with him said no. So how can you praise Him? So um,

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before marriage, at the time of marriage, make marriages so as a Taqwa before marriage, at the same time, taqwa before marriage, at the time of marriage, make sure your marriages are conducted in accordance with the Quran and Sunnah in accordance with the with the teachings of Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam make it simple. Seriously, make it simple. Abdul Rahman you know over the Allahu Anhu got married. He never even informed the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he saw him. He said he Oh, man, he saw him after a few days he had a yellow stain and mark here. So what's this mark here? He said there was some perfume they applied. Last week I

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got married. Oh, you got married last week. SubhanAllah. It said okay, about Akula hulak. About a garlic which I'm already in a coma. Oh, you will be shouted. Allah bless you, bless both of you, bless your marriage, just make a walima even if it's a goat, he never said like an imam today, me being someone like me. And even telling me, you know, you should have invited me that your mom will feel local, he got married without telling me your stuff it Allah. That's what you do. Look at the Messenger of Allah or you send him no complaint. That's the habit of the Allah who discovered morning marriages, you know, so it's just it's, it's something you don't make a big deal out of it.

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I'm not saying you don't kill people. But you know, making big, big self imposed restrictions, that until my great granddad does not come back from that village in Pakistan or India, marriage will not take place. Seriously, that's what happened. Nobody. So make it simple. Islam has made marriage so simple we have we have made it difficult upon ourselves by by placing self imposed restrictions that have nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. And most of it most of it is cultural based seriously, most of it is cultural base, nothing to do with Islam.

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Take off, take out all these restrictions, make it simple marriage as a simple thing, and just get married and remove all these restrictions that we have replaced and placed upon ourselves until such and such person doesn't come until you don't get this until you don't get that

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these are just restrictions that we have made. And when we make marriage difficult, we have made marriages difficult. Here when when the doors of Halal are closed, automatically, the doors of haram open. That's what's happening. And the parents we don't have parents here. And there may be some, but they have to take a share of the blame here. Seriously, some parents are so unreasonable in the approach with the children is just some of them like insisting until you do not get married to my brother's daughter or my sister son, or someone back home from the same village from the same city maybe in the same you know, street next door you have to get married to there's no there's no such a

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thing in Islam. You have to be from the same caste or ethnicity or background. Yes, compatibility, suitability cuffa, but that doesn't mean you have to be it's better sometimes. Yes, if you're from the same background, you know, you might want to eat the same type of food hamdulillah if you're a food person, yeah, okay, but it's not necessary. So, parents need to make it easy when we make it difficult for people to marry. When the doors of halal or closed the doors of haram open. Fornication becomes rife like right now fornication and right now the media the way it portrays men

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reach people. I mean, Hala nowadays people don't want to marry, have spoken so many young people

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they're afraid to marry. Because they're getting it anyway. Anyway. You know what I mean?

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People are afraid to marry. And it's the way the media portrays marriage. You know, if you look, well, you're not supposed to. But if you hear about these soaps, yeah, the EastEnders and all these programs and Coronation Street and that street and whatever, okay, what happens the way they portray marriage marriages are boring dough. You know, excitement is in unlawful, illicit relationship. And when you watch that, when people watch that, that's the kind of mindset you come out to it. So don't please don't go and watch those kinds of programs and corrupt you. And definitely don't watch Bollywood that will totally corrupt, especially the sisters.

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Because, you know, when a sister watches Bollywood, I mean, those are things brothers and sisters. But you know, you think you look at Bollywood and, and you think that this is this is how my marriage will be. And this is my prince charming. This is the romance, you know, will pick me up and that's another and then she gets disappointed. And marriages end. Seriously because that's, you know, that's all for the cameras. It's all acting it is it has a real life. Go look at the real life of these actors. If they were that good. They will, why don't why do they all end up in divorce? Majority of them, they're just acting. Okay, so that's not real life. Islam says marriage is based

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on Taqwa. It's on turqoise at the time of marriage. And after marriage, that's the most important thing. In order for marriage to be beautiful. In order for marriage to be prosperous. You have to have Taqwa seriously. And these verses of the Quran that have been recited, talk about what in the hotbar Taqwa asking your mutual rights, demanding your mutual rights. Why? Because you see, many scholars have said that, you know, the relationship between a man and a woman is so close. You live with that person, your spouse, day and night, you share the same bed, you eat together every day, you're with that person. You wake up next to that individual, every single day in your life. It's

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very easy to harm the other person. It's very easy to break and violate the rights. It's very easy to be cruel. It's very easy to be nasty. It's very easy to be grumpy and you know, just very aggressive. That's why the verse of taco recited what taco Hola, hola, DITA Aluna be here with our ham. Fear Allah because these are the rights if you don't feel Allah and that's why it's extremely important in Islam that you look for a person when you get married. Look for someone who was Dean and Taco in his life to go home or go to the bar in America will be heavily Jamali. How will he Dini her father will be that Dean choose the one who has Dean why? Because without Dean, your marriage is

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not going to work seriously. Your marriage will not work. If you want a beautiful marriage, a prosperous marriage or harmonious marriage, a marriage full of bliss and blessings and contentment and peace and tranquility that that marriage has to be based on Taqwa. And that marriage where the man is like someone who follows the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam the woman is someone who has fear of Allah subhanaw taala accountability in the mind, they understand that every form of action, every verbal statement, everything they do or say they have to answer ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam see the Arusha so do karate Allahu Allah. Somebody

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came and asked her and said Alisha magazine interview so Allahu Allah UK for Canon epistle Allahu Allah sent a few Beatty how's the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in his house Ghana she replied she said Ghana earlier in in us but sermon the hurt and he was the softness of individuals nowadays men thing is you know I'm I'm aggressive until I'm not aggressive nor a man and the mother you know father tells them you know what make sure you're the man of the house. You know beforehand you can see these two people get married with these kinds of thoughts beforehand if you enter a marriage with those kinds of thoughts how your how's your marriage going to last can Eliana nurse he

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was the most kind and considerate and the softness of individual individuals but some and the heart and he was always smiling, always laughing. She was asked again Manton Antabuse sallallahu alayhi wa sallam yes now off the bat. What What was the messenger SallAllahu it was since practice at home. She said kind of imaginary. He he he used to help in the household chores. He used to wash the dishes.

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That's not in the Hadith. household chores which used to help in household choose for either fade

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in or fade out semi or near the Hora de la sala Yes, when he heard the other, he would leave everything go to the masjid and offer Salah. So this is Taqwa. And likewise women, you know the mouth, they need to protect the mouth, the tongue, and that's why the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that Al Murata with a solid Hamza Osama shahada, our soldier how heavy that furniture, decorated agenda in a year blurbing shirt, a woman who offers a five time prayer

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As observes a first obeys respects her husband, preserved and God's her tongue never nags, and is not disrespectful towards the husband. And then this woman, she will enter Paradise from whichever door she wants. And there's many Hadith for the man and for the woman. So that's why basically brothers sisters, I'm ending with this. It all boils down to the heart taqwa, the fear of Allah. And that's why chef Abdul Rahman if you use the habit of Allah was talking about learn the facts of marriage. And that's very important. And you know, I've talked about these courses before as well. But I tell you something along with that morning, may be more important or at least important to us.

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Similar level is to work on your heart before you get married, work on your heart does care protocol which is the one of the most important obligations of Islam, Allah says in the Quran, but after Muhammad, the girl who can help them in the Salah, the one who purifies the soul

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is the one who is has triumphed is successful. What are the herberman the SIR, the one who did not purify his soul is in loss, one of the Mikaze the objectives of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam being sent to this world was well use a key him. Allah says in the Quran, Allah Yama, Allah and Pharaoh Maroondah by noon, on the Day of Judgment, your wealth your children, nothing will come of nothing will be of benefit in them and at Allah has been saline, you have to have a Salim hard work on your heart. And that's the only way your marriage will be beautiful because brothers and sisters, you know, it's marriage is beautiful, but it's not just beautiful just like that you have

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to work at it. As with anything in the world, you have to work at it. If you don't work at it, then marriage does not become beautiful. It's actually the opposite. It becomes ugly, disastrous. It's a crisis. Seriously, that's what happens and that's why so many people end up in divorce. So you have to work at it. You have to work on your soul your rule.

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You have to give your good qualities. You know, I'm going to end with this inshallah. And the time is very short. But that one yes. And we have two things we said Taqwa the other word is sign excellence. Excellence, which means doing everything in the most beautiful of ways and malice that's the meaning of Hassan in Allah Yeah. Moodle Bill addley will sign Allah orders you are the justice and Ehsaan excellence beautification perfection in Alohomora will agree with each other quarterback. And how do you say in Allah gettable ESA and other cliche, Allah has written a song or everything for the cattle tune to the point when you kill for accidental critter, whether the baton fasten

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whatever when you slaughter an animal slaughter it with Hassan everything our own religion is based on Hassan everything even divorced at the local Murata and for encircled outer city from the sun, even divorce if you have to go down that route. A son we have taqwa and Taqwa. It's the fear of Allah. If someone comes through the love of Allah subhanaw taala. So work on your roof. So this is the real and that's why if you want to look for somebody to get married, I know there's a lot of people not married. Find the person when we say fall for Bharati Dean, the pious person, don't just look at how long his beard is or how long Toby he's wearing, or how you know Big Pharma and scarf or

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a super high you know, he's got in his hand. And for assistance, don't just look I'm not saying these things are not important of course important, but don't just look at the niqab and the hijab and things like that. Look beyond that. A person of good character of God attributes of Taqwa in the heart the one find out whether an investigate whether that brother and sister has perfected their souls have the worked on the souls because only then will your marriage your beautiful you know like the poet says, I like your rotary for stepmill for the ADA for in your rotary lab and just the internal Arnica be right look after your you know, look after your rule your soul, your soul, you

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know, perfected for Stegman for the ILA give it the good noble qualities, characteristics attributes for in Kabir row Hey, LeBron, just at the insert who you are a human being, by your rule your soul, not by your body, your body. Even animals have bodies, there's a chicken, there's a hand, there's a donkey, there's a cow, they have bodies, we are human beings, not by our bodies, but by our rules and souls. So we have to really work on that and Inshallah, if we do that, marriages will be beautiful. In the introduction, what I've just mentioned, you know, there's just four things why the need of writing this book was well, you know, I actually was thinking about writing something on

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this topic for a while. I was just being lazy and then brother from Turok publishers brother yeah here. He said to me, You know what, we need something written on this I said, Yeah, I've been compiling some notes. Were our have always thought I should write something on this. And the reason why was because so many people used to ask me and they still do ask me questions. Because you know,

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I'm in the early times. I mean I because we have the internet and email system. And people don't have to really

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indicate who they are. So people are anonymous. It's very easy to ask questions. That's when you really find out what kind of questions people really want to ask. There are certain things people can't come and ask you face to face they shy rightly so embarrassed but but email the name of the person where they are that may be asked as a savior

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that's what unfortunately happens, you know, and all these forums you go to the Abdullah Hussein him and his art Isha was Ibrahim and, you know, it's, you don't know who's who.

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But anyway, people used to ask, and some strange kind of questions are asked to respond. And then what I used to do is to make a note of it. Question I used to, and I started making notes. And I had a massive list. I said, something needs to be written. And then the brother from Torah publishers, said You know, we need a book. So then I started writing now there was a fear that you know, this kind of book

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somebody might like today as well the brothers who came with me from Manchester, may Allah reward them for coming and bringing me there was one of the brothers who said, has anybody given some negative feedback on the book? I said, it's just been one week. I'm just waiting, okay to be shut.

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So yeah, there's definitely no no doubt the people who want to shoot me, if they want to shoot me shoot, we, you know, it's not a problem, but I would say, don't shoot the messenger. Okay, because I'm just a messenger.

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I'm the messenger relating from a messenger of Allah and Allah when he was salam from the Quran, from the Sunnah, from the classical sources from the great humans and the automa of our time. There's nothing in his book beyond that seriously. If you look at the Quran, explicit in the Quran, there are verses explicit regarding this topic. Come on, read the Quran. Allah says now Quran Mr. Okuhara fuller convert to Hara come and shoot. The messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam talks about all sorts of things anal intercourse, he talks about it clearly explicitly Hadith women nobody used to feel embarrassed come to the messenger sallallahu alayhi salam and asking questions that hadith here

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were Jomo Sulaimani Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Colorado Salalah in Allah Allah is documented, who most of them came to the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam and said Yara salah, I need to ask you a question. But remember, Allah is not shy of expounding the truth. And that's the slogan under which I wrote this book in hola hola. You're stuck in the middle. That's in the Quran. It's in the Hadith the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used it and the Companions used it. Allah is not shy of the truth. And then she asked a question that does a woman have to

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have a ritual bath if she you know, experienced some discharge are the messengers of Allah Islam responded, and the messenger SallAllahu so there's so much in there if you look Quran, Hadith, all the books, the four schools of thought you pick up books, you know, I was amazed myself how much clarity and how explicit things were in the form. Because before that, you know, I never read a lot of things when I picked up books on the shelf or in the Merdeka in the humbly and in the Hanafi school. I was quite amazed that classical scholars you know, 500 600 700 years ago discussing things as explicitly as you know, as anything seriously you know, like you mama know, Rahim, Allah in

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Israel much more. He's got a chapter talking about bourbon Hilliard used to occlude money.

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I don't want it I don't know if you understand it, but he says, bourbon, Jews occlude money, and then he's got a small section whether it's just for actual money, oh law, okay. And I was quite shocked. This is Imam and no Radi Allahu anhu, the great Muhaddith, the great chef or jurists, the author of the commentary of the Sahai of Muslim and Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, and oil much more, which has like 23 volumes in the shell for your mother and many other books

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ibro Dharma in his alimony from the hand that he one of the great scholars of the humbly madhhab you'll be shocked some of the things he's discussed. And even your email Josie, the student of Halima liberal Tamia Rahim, Allah pick up is a table number one, you'll be amazed the kinds of things you amaze the immune team yet, even a team is writing this. You will be amazed and shocked. But he talks he's got a whole section there. First and few more Asha Zildjian talks about sexual matters in detail, Imam Muhammad and was early in his comedy, very explicit. So all these books are they in Arabic seriously. So that's why I thought you know, you have to, everything's pretty

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evident. I don't want to really talk much about it. Just about the launching, launching, launching. I don't know, you know, there was a launch recently in London, when one of my teachers shared with him her material of money having the whole love and his translation of the Quran, the Noble Quran, they did a launch and he said something very beautiful, and I think I just wanted to share that with you as well. He said, You know, our early scholars never had launches, right so this

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Really we wanted an event launch and then he he mentioned

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Imam Malik over the Allahu Anhu that when he wrote his Alma Akbar is famous and Akbar

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his when he when he compiled his motto a lot of other people, they started writing more palmata was a term used in those times for a collection of Hadith. So there were other people who wrote them off, but so some of the students came to Malik and said, Oh, Imam, there's a lot of people writing Mata as well just like you. So he said, a very beautiful phrase. He said McKenna de la jolla Baca. Whichever motto was written for Allah that will remain today we don't know no other Mata except the MATA Fatima Malik. So a book you don't have to launch it if it's with a class if it's with sincerity, Allah launches it and if there is no class and no sincerity, there's no benefit in

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launching it. So inshallah you know if there's if there's any mistakes in here, you know, you're welcome to shoot me and you know, email me phone me whatever there might be some things you disagree with agree with, you know, of course, some things are open to interpretation.

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But, you know, there's a lot of lot of info in this book. So if you do want to buy the book, Inshallah, you can buy it. If you don't want to buy it, you don't have to buy it, don't worry, you know, it's it's up to each other, but don't feel ashamed of buying it. Okay, there's, as I said, when it comes to religious matters, see the Irish and I will end with this, say the Irish or the Allahu anhu, she said, nierman Nissa Nissa on unsought, la mia, and higher Yamuna or Hoonah mean and yet Africa Hanafi de Imam Al Bukhari Radi Allahu anhu, in his Sahai in Catawba. Island, he coached us from outside of the Allahu anha she said, How will how good and how admirable are the women of

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InSAR that shyness and modesty? shyness and modesty did not stop them did not prevent them from seeking a deep understanding of the religion. And then he co to Okada, Mujahid Imam Al Bukhari coats from Mujahid the greater Berry who said layer to Allah will Elena Mustafi and when I'm stuck, there are two types of people don't seek knowledge. Number one who is proud, a proud person and arrogant person who says how can I say this person's talk? That person never learns, and a Mustafi the one who's shy, will never learn. So in order to learn, we have to, we have to, we have to, of course, have modesty in ourselves but use that modesty use that higher and use that other in learning about

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the delicate matters of Islam and Sharia and with the shallow JazakAllah for this intermediate, aka Buckhead for coming. May Allah reward all of your efforts vertical Rafi como Sara Marie Cora,