Islam in a Prison of Culture

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari


Channel: Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the cultural implications of Islam and its cultural aspect, including its cultural aspect and driver's behavior. They stress the need for acceptance and respect in marriage, avoiding interfere in relationships, and avoiding seeking advice on marriage. They also acknowledge the negative impact of divorce on society and emphasize the importance of larger donations for women's organizations. The conversation covers topics such as women being empowered to make contributions to society and the negative impact of divorce on society.
Transcript ©
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hungry level

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Rahmani Raheem Malik yummy Dean.

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What are people doing with dropping off Versace we're talking with asleep or as a you know Mohammed Caterina been while he was in water cooling and caviar who served in 1819 Am I in fact when I when finally Marlin Jenner was

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denied him or her team were buried, while praises for Allah subhanaw taala our Lord and Creator,

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and peace and blessings be upon His blessing messenger

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and his companions, the companions of the messenger, peace and blessings be upon him, and all those who follow them with good with excellency with their son.

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The topic for today's discussion

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is Islam.

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A prisoner of culture.

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By the way, it's my first time at Bradford University, I've been to Bradford I mean, everybody comes to Bradford, for the fish and chips. The culture of the British culture,

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especially ships in Bradford is quite famous.

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And I've tried it many times, even when on the motorway, we want to go and have the fish and chips of Bradford or we go to want us

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by the way, I don't work for them. So I'm not advertising. And I don't know if the hell out or not hopefully Sharma I'm just say

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Bradford hamdulillah come many times. And it's still a good city. I mean, in Leicester, they say Bradford is Islam but I don't know. But then again, you might say let's say it's probably Bombay, because there's a lot of a lot of people from India and

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so, but hamdulillah just like Leicester Bradford has many different communities, British people, people from the subcontinent, from Bangladesh from Pakistan from India, and from all various different backgrounds, ethnicities, ethnicities, cultures.

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And as Muslims. My address to the Muslims initially as Muslims, Islam comes first before any culture and any ethnicity or any background. This is the basis of our religion, the religion of Islam.

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When we look at the Quran, and when we look at the Sunnah when we look at the book of Allah subhanaw taala. And we look at the sayings and traditions of the Messenger of Allah, the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him. We find many texts, we find many, many verses of the Quran in many traditions that talk about the importance of being a Muslim, as a Muslim, not being a Muslim, as an Indian, or Pakistani or a British or a Western, or Eastern or northern or southern. Islam is a universal religion, it has teachings for all types of people, for all cultures for all backgrounds, and for any place on the planet on the face of the earth. A person who's a Muslim, it's easy if a

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British person wants to become a Muslim, Muslim, and here he is a Muslim, and he practices Islam, then by all means he can practice Islam. And therefore, Islam, the teachings of Islam need to be given importance over and above any culture. This is the topic and the title of our discussion today. Unfortunately, as the brother was saying, that today we see the many Muslims and this cross cultures, whether Muslims from the subcontinent, whether they're from the Arab world, whether they're from the Eastern world, or from the Western world, or from wherever, culture plays a part in the practicing of Islam. It's very unfortunate, this is a topic that we can talk about, talk about

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discuss. But we see every background the culture plays a part in some way or or another in some shape, or form, in the practice of Islam. If a Muslim if a community of Muslims they are from the subcontinent, for example, they are from Pakistan or from India or wherever they're from, then they culture and many of the time people don't even want to know or realize or think or study or learn what Islam is really about. What Why why why does a person become a Muslim? Why, why is a person believing in God, and the final messenger peace and blessings be upon him and all the other messengers before Him, Jesus and Moses and all of them peace and blessings be upon all of them as

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Muslims, we have to believe in all the prophets. It's not sufficient just to believe in Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him as a Muslim. Allah says in the Quran Neferet Kobane are heard in the rosary. We do not separate between

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NT prophets, it is absolutely compulsory mandatory necessary for a Muslim to be considered a Muslim, that he believes in Jesus peace and blessings be upon him but as Islam portrays Jesus to be the Prophet of Allah, the Prophet of God, we have to believe in Jesus we have to believe in Moses. So why do we believe what why is a person Muslim? I mean, if I can ask you a question somebody's brother here.

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Why are you a Muslim?

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How do you know it's a true religion? Did you study it? Did you get handed? Mashallah, anybody else? Why is the brother in that corner with a nice subway? I don't know.

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Why are you a Muslim

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family after that you said you realize that you studied which is good. So many times we find most most Muslims they are Muslims because they grew up they were born in a Muslim family and that's about it. Nothing more than that. Muslim why? Because my dad was a Muslim My mom was a Muslim my brothers sisters, people around Muslim and the mosque here we go to the mosque. Ramadan time comes. Yeah, I've seen my community my culture Ramadan, we wake up first of all, we do far here fasting tar we do we ever study why we perform taraweeh? Do we ever look in the wisdoms and the rulings of taraweeh? Why we fast? Why do we believe in Allah? Oh, we know that marriages take place in such a

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way because the community has been doing it you have to go to the mosque, you have to approach the Imam. And there's something said in Arabic, which I don't even know I don't have a clue what it means. It could mean anything. What what what you know, this is this is how marriage is done. And this is the reason why people start practicing the culture and following the cultural teachings rather than Islam. Because they have not really looked into what Islam is. It's just the things happening around you. If you were born in in an Arab country, for example, where American marriage a new guy is done in a specific way, then you'll be following that culture. If you don't learn the

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true teachings of Islam, like one of the cultural practices is the extravagance in dowry Allah in the Arab culture, a person cannot get married. And this is generally Of course, there are exceptions. But generally, you have to have so much amount of money before you can even know. I mean, I know so many friends are friends who

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there was a brother I knew was Palestinian used to be in Syria, I used to see him used to be so distressed he was 37 years of age, he was still unmarried. I said why don't you marry is that I need to at least gather about $40,000 a week. Before I can even think of marrying, I need to have a key to my car key to this actually a key to the house before anybody will even consider giving the daughter to me. Extravagance in Delhi. does Islam say that? Of course not. If you look at the subcontinent, the certain ways of them doing a marriage ceremonies and the way divorce is conducted. It's all based on based on cultural practices have we ever learnt what is Allah? subhanaw taala

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alone and creator? What is the messenger of Allah peace and blessings be upon him eternally? What are his teachings? How is Islam supposed to be practiced? And this is the reason why. When we look in the books of Islamic creed, when we look in the books of Artesia, there's a there's a book famous book in Islamic creed. Imam

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Sheikh Ibrahim and Lacan he was American scholar. He's writing his book and as a commentary on that is called lumen Kalia de facto he the man who will add every individual who becomes a Muslim by following a person is Muslim just because his parents are Muslim, father, mother, people around him with CO love and Khaled efeito Hady. Eman hula, I'm Johanna Minter. Didi his Iman is not free from doubt, if I am a Muslim just because my father is a Muslim, my videos my parents, my mother, my father, people around me they were just believers. And I just do because I saw them doing that. Then my Eman is weak. But if it was not like that, it was because I was born in a Muslim family. But then

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I understood I realized I studied, I learned

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and then I had this conviction and I understood the rulings of Islam. And then I believed in Allah subhanaw taala that's when Iman becomes strong. Faith becomes strong in God in our greater Allah. Allah subhanaw taala. So it's very important. First of all, we learn about Islam. And Islam is all about submission the meaning of Islam we have two meanings. Islam means peace, okay? A lot of people are Salam. Alikum is from the word peace as well, but also has the meaning of submission in it and it's the Islam or what is on what Islam, this all these words, they have the meaning of submission, submitting to the will of God, submitting to the will of Allah subhanaw taala, total full, utter

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submission to the will of Allah subhana wa Tada. That's the meaning of Islam, meaning whatever comes in our way, whatever our culture says, Whatever our cultural traditions, cultural practices, cultural customs, whatever they are, if they are in conflict with the teachings of Allah and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that we followed the word of Allah and His Messenger Salah and even said, Islam you

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In submission

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and this this this submission you know in the Quran Allah subhanaw taala will Lord and Creator, He talks about the two prophets Abraham and Ismar Eve is married and Ibrahim Ali Houma salatu salam, peace and blessings be upon both of them. He talks about them the famous incident story, you know the incident about stuttering when when you brought him Ali Salam was peace and blessings be upon him was ordered and commanded by Allah to slaughter his own son. So long story, I don't wanna mention the story. But when this whole act of narrating and reporting this whole episode in the Quran, Allah subhanaw taala says he says from a cinema, what Hola. Hola JB, when they both became

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Muslims, that's the literal translation, or you want translation, when they both Ibrahim and is married became Muslims.

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What does it mean? They became Muslims, they are already Muslims. They were they were already the worshipers of God at that time. They were already you know, they were prophets of Allah. Let alone them not believing in God and now Allah saying they when they both believed.

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They were the prophets of God. So why did Allah say that when they both became believers,

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Muslim man they both become believers. After generating the whole incident wherein

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the father Ibrahim, peace and blessings be upon him was ordered and commanded by Allah, our Lord and Creator, by God, to slaughter a son without any hesitation he just accepted, is submitted, submitted to the will of Allah. And likewise, as soon as well, he did not say why did you know? Why should Dwight, why don't you go and go to a shoot? Why do you have to go to me for no question? No ifs, no buts, nothing. Allah loves this approach and this

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behavior of the two prophets. And he said phelim slimmer when they both became believers, meaning when they both submitted a slimmer, the word same word Islam when they're both submitted to the will, and the Command of Allah. So we as Muslims, Muslims, have to submit to the will of God. That's the first and foremost we have to submit to the will of God, that Islam is a religion that is not just a religion, sorry, Islam is a religion. That's not just a religion. Rather, we should not even be saying Islam is a religion, and it's famous. We all know Islam is a way of life. Islam is not just a collection of rituals, like some other religions may be. It's not just a collection of

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rituals, or forms or modes, or practices or forms of worship. It's more than that Islam is a complete way of life. We don't have the separation of church and state in Islam. Islam is a complete way of life. From the time a person wakes up in the morning, till the time he goes to sleep, there are teachings in the holy script, the book, the Quran, and in the sayings and traditions and the teachings of the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him. It's a complete way of life. It teaches you from the moment you wake up from from rows of purity, to how to clean yourself, how to go to the washroom and bathroom as well for our non Muslim friends and non Muslim brothers and

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sisters that are teaching in Islam but also tell a individually Muslim how to clean themselves and go to the washroom.

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And if somebody has this question, you know, somebody who's not a Muslim,

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like, likewise, a person who was not a Muslim in the time of the messenger peace and blessings be upon him. He came in as one of the companions and he said, Look at Atlanta community you come Salallahu Alaihe Salam Kula Shane had an affair. I came to a companion called Salman Farsi, who is the Persian salamander, Persian from foreigners. So your Prophet he teaches you everything.

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The word Hara in Arabic means until he teaches you things as basic as how to train yourself when you go to the washroom and to the toilet.

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He said urgent said Why No, we're proud. This is not something to feel degraded about. We're proud of this fact that our profit is so unique, that he teaches us everything from the time we wake up, to go to sleep. A Muslim is a Muslim, whether he's in the washroom when he's in the bathroom, whether he's walking on the street, whether he's driving a car, even when you're driving a car.

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Unfortunately, we forget driving a car. You don't have to obey the law of the land. I mean, I've seen some rough drivers here breakfast,

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restaurant, Manchester, to places where you have a lot of sorry, you know, but we have to move the rules of driving the car, you have to obey the law of the land. This is the teaching of Islam, you have to obey the law. And you have to you don't drive like some kind of maniac.

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You know, like when I heard from one scholar, he was saying that when you think if you want to know if something is right or wrong, just put yourself you know, think and ponder for a moment when you're driving a car. Ponder if, for example, the messenger salAllahu alayhi wa sallam was on your place behind the steering wheel.

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Driving this car how would you drive?

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Would you drive like a maniac? Would you go through a no entry or one way, you know the other way around? Or would you start shooting and you know, to shouting abuse and things like that? Definitely. If he wants to drive, there were no cars in that time, by the way.

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And it's not a big ask to drive well now as well, by the way,

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but if the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, if he was to drive a car right now, how will you drive? Think for two minutes? How calm would he be? How collected would you be? How humble would he be? Would he always try to just overtake people and not give anybody any way? Or would he, you know, prefer and give preference to other people? That's Islam, us Muslims, even what's driving the car? Whether we're at the factory at the shop, working on the road, at the campus or the university at home, with parents with children with spouses wherever we are, we have to be Muslim. It's not just about dressing like a Muslim. It's acting like a Muslim as well. You know, sometimes some people

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think I've just dressed like a Muslim mashallah, I have the left here the beard, I have, you know, I can say this, I've got a look here. So, you know, I'm not, you know, degrading people who have their hair mashallah the Sunnah of the messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, I will talk about bit of other dress further along. But, you know, some people think it's enough, I've got the soul that I have a beard, and I have the heart and I have the amount of sometimes, and that's it. People think I'm a Muslim, the sister I've got the new carbon free job, and that's it's sufficient. You know, I'm covering myself, then. Whatever way I act and behave, doesn't matter. That's totally wrong. That's

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completely Islamic.

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Thorough, and hostile is zero, you have to have good character, it's more important. So Islam is a complete way of life. And it has teachings in every area, every you know, from, from, as I said, from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, from the moment a person is born till the time he passes away, even after death, there are rules, inheritance laws, even after we leave this world. The world is on that stage we leave behind. There's rules attached to that as well. Every moment, everything we do when we walk, we need to think, Am I doing this in accordance with the teachings of Allah? God and the messenger? sallallahu alayhi salam, why not? Islam is a complete way

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of life. It's not just a few things here and there. Unfortunately, we as Muslims, we have restricted Islam, many of us some of us received Islam, as I said to the external you know, appears that's it, that you dress like a Muslim sufficient. Something is just about behaving you know, good in a nice way and good character and that's it, nothing else. Some of us just restricted to Islam to certain forms and modes of worship. That's not sufficient as well. We have to be a complete Muslim. And this is why Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, you Hallelujah, amen to the whole of the Sydney cough. Oh, you will believe enter into Islam. You're a woman, you're a believer, but now submit your

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Larina Harmon who would hold off his cilmi cough, enter into Islam completely, totally wholeheartedly. Don't ever wanna be involved in Kitakata Faloona without you just pick and choose to take parts of the book of Allah and lever the parts you pick and choose from? Yes, let me look in the Holy Scripture. The Quran. Yeah, this suits me this does not suit me. You know, you pick and choose from the book of Allah or do you take everything? You have to take everything we need to be full time Muslims not half time, or part time or quarter time. If you just play a game for 45 minutes, you don't turn up for the second half what happens? I don't know how breakfast city are

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doing but

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nobody was bothered, by the way I've seen. They do.

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Probably everybody supports Liverpool to Manchester United.

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But Islam is a company way of life. You have to be full time Muslims, full time Muslims, every teaching of Islam we need to implement in our lives. Now why would it do those just a small brief, you know kind of introduction where I want to do is I want to just look at certain areas where it's a lengthy topic. I mean, if we go one by one taking each branch, there are many branches of Islam. We haven't really bothered worshiping Allah then we have a branch. There are actually five branches of Islam. Number one is a Buddha which means worshiping Allah subhanaw taala all the rules connected to purity, Moodle ablution also taking a ritual purification that all the rules of Surah prayer,

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this Zeca giving charity in the path of Allah hygiene Andhra the pilgrimage, and fasting in the Muslim prayer, all these rules, just one branch of Islam which is a burden worshiping Allah subhanaw taala there are five well the first one is a feeder your correct belief but then after that there are four so if we say four branches of Islam first is you have correctly number one worshiping Allah all the rules. For the rows are prayer frigerator harassing a Muslim all the rules of law also everything to do with worshiping Allah is just one quarter of Islam. Then we have a second branch of Islam which is more harm Allah

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transactions, business transactions Islam is also to do with business and treatment. How do we do business Islam doesn't leave us that you can do business how you want. As I said, it's a company way of life. It's not just about worshiping and that's it, you get involved in unlawful transactions. Now, second branch is more AMOLED business transactions. And number three is Marsha Marsha is social ethic. It's how you live with people, how you deal with people, right? So the parents rights of the children, right, so the spouses the husband, the wife, brothers, sisters, siblings, people around you, relatives, cousins, and just generally Muslims or non Muslims. Everybody around you. The

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humanity and also the rights of animals Islam has teaches us that there are rights for animals as well. Everybody has rights, how to deal with people around you. This is Marsha social advocates. And then we have the fifth, the fourth category, which is a HELOC and manners, which is good character, good behavior. So these are all various branches of Islam. And in order for a person to be a complete Muslim, he has to care has to believe and he has to practice all the rules associated associated to all these branches of Islam. So we can go into each category and look at various things, cultural practices, but I've just taken a few examples that I feel may be important in terms

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of cultural practices and

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social customs versus Islamic teachings. There's quite a few. But these are certain things that I think are important from my personal experience. When I've come across so many people, the brother was saying, you know, I answer questions at Doublelift Institute. I don't know if you've heard of it. I have a website online q&a, as a two hour phone line with everybody a lot of people phone. And literally at the moment, I've got a backlog of about 300 emails that I need to finish answering. Since there are so many emails and I have so many people I was just speaking to somebody from breakfast yesterday system. Again, cultural issues, marriage, marriage issues, divorce issues, love

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cultural baggage that we bring with us. A lot of cultural baggage, it's so distressing and so saddening at times, that Muslims, if I start telling you that stories that are no no of what experiences I have with people, you just need another five hours just listened to the stories and some of them are extremely shocking, extremely shocking.

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Seriously, some of them they you know, you just now I mean, I've mentioned in a recent lecture somewhere else, and now nothing shocks me. I've heard the most shocking thing. I will tell you what that thing is, but but nothing shocks me.

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You'd be amazed what some of the Muslim families and communities are up to, and what people are doing, and it's got nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. It's got nothing whatsoever like the brother was saying about honor killings. I mean, that's got nothing whatsoever. It's absolutely haram, simple and lawful, categorically forbidden. It's got nothing, not even this much connection. It's actually you know, really far away from the teachings of God and His Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. But why why do people have soap? I mean, when the media as well, I mean, I have a problem with him as well. When when something when we know somebody just sounds like someone hard

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did something then you say Newsom come a Muslim by the name of Sandy, something hard, you know, killed his daughter or something like that. And you have a John Terry or Michael, you know, who's a Christian by name. These are Muslims just by name. You're born in a Muslim family. And he created those gun crime in Nottingham or in Liverpool can use reports and what to say, oh, a Christian called by the name of John Paul or Terry, or, or Michael, Stephen did this. No. Why would Muslims, but that's another case. Another story, but with Muslims, as well. These are just

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by name Muslims, as I said, That which is born in Muslim families, we are born in Muslim families, we think we're Muslims. It's not easy to be Muslims. You have to work at it. You just don't be Muslim, because you were born in a Muslim family. And Allah says this from the Quran, he said that, but I'm an Islamic, you know, Allah relates at that time in the time of the Messenger of God, that the Christians and Jews, some of them some of the Christians, and some of the Jews is to say that we will enter Paradise, it's for us, record it, recorded lineage hydrogenic, Ilam. And Cara who didn't wanna follow some of the Christians and some of the Jews that it means to do anything work for this,

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you just see, what will, Paradise is for us. Allah said Kula to Veronica, Bring your proof. What have you done to earn paradise equal to Saudi, and there is a better Muslim? Oh, God. It's not just easy to you know, enter paradise. And this is actually relating about the people that time about some of the Christians and Jews in the time of the Messenger of God and actually teaching Muslims a lesson. Whenever the Quran relates about previous times. It's actually teaching us a lesson. You are Muslims, believers. Don't make the same mistake don't think okay, yeah, well, Muslims passage paradise is for us booked hotel we've already reserved, just make sure that it doesn't happen that

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you go there and say, sorry, you don't have a reservation. This is what Allah is trying to tell us. That it's not about just you know, being a Muslim. I'm not saying we as Muslims. Sometimes we think that we think just That's it. Paradise for us.

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All these people prefer in the hell away just in general we belong to God and God belongs to us. And that said, were the chosen people on wages, sometimes Muslims, things like that. And they don't know nothing about Islam. Nothing, not even 1% of practicing of Islam. Maybe in Ramadan, you might just go to the masjid here and then come back and then for the whole year, they never see a mosque in the life.

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Does that mean that many Muslims like that, and I'm being frank here,

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a good percentage, a large portions of Muslims that are in fact in reality, that are just Muslims by name. And according to some scholars, you can't even call them Muslims. Seriously, some scholars are of the opinion that those who do not, I mean, those who don't pray according to some scholars, they leave the fold of Islam. There's a difference of opinion but one Metallica Sonata Mata Ahmed and Puppet cover him a man had been hammered over the Allahu Anhu. His opinion was one salah, one soldier, you haven't prayed? You've left the part of Islam, your marriage is broken, invalidated, you have to renew your marriage. And that's not just Imam Muhammad, there are many scholars of their

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opinion. Okay, it's not accepted by everybody. Imam, Abu Hanifa Allahu Anhu. An imam, Shafi Animam. I do not subscribe to this view. It's a difference of opinion between the scholars. But nevertheless, it shows how grave it is to just even leave one prayer. And then we think just because my name is Mohammed Abdullah, who is so useful for Musa, I'm just a Muslim. What have you done to earn paradise? We have to take our time in this world, we have time for everything, brothers and sisters, we have time to study which is important. We have times to get our degrees important without a doubt we need to we need to be out there. We have time to do business, we have time to

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make money, important. Customer halili forgotten battlefury we have time for everything. But a Muslim man he spent 70 years of his life. He doesn't have time than in his 70 years of his life. He's not read the Quran from beginning to end with translation and understanding. Do you know how many Muslims

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go into the masjid most Muslims have never understood the Quran.

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I'm not saying it's absolutely mandatory, but it's something that's highly encouraged. I was once coming from London, I think one of the universities and this Christian man who sat next to me in the trade, just discussing issues I talked about abortion, and he was talking we're talking about is abortion in Christianity and Islam and everything. And

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they said to me, you know, I want to ask you a question just doesn't make sense to me. So what's that?

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He said, What I don't understand is that so many Muslims, they don't have a clue what the Holy Scripture is saying.

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So you're right, because so many, how many precise and maybe 80 90%? They don't have a clue. We as Christians, if we are practicing, if we say somebody says I am a Christian, that I would read the Bible at least once to see at least you know, what am i Believing in the first book I would read will be the variable.

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We recite Quran sometimes and even that recitation with that read this listen to the recitation of the street. We don't even have time to learn the correct way of pronouncing the words of the Quran and words of Allah subhanaw taala series is a big problem. I mean, we go to a lot of these agents and massage it and you hear people you know, I mean, I'm not trying to sort of

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put them down or anything like that. It's just a concern. We need to do something about this.

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There are Muslims there you listen to them really listless. Listen, listen to them reciting the Quran, sometimes they are making grave errors that actually translate as words of Cofer and disbelief.

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And then that's not gonna happen, then what's When? When are they going to start actually understanding the Quran? At least the verses of the Quran that we've read and reciting our prayer and handling later on, but I mean, what does it mean? Rahmani Raheem? nadie que mi d er, can I go to a year can study what does it mean? splittable Allah who I had, when I was a bit of a follow up, these are short chapters in the Quran, last few chapters, at least the meaning of those you are speaking with God, this conversation taking place between the worship of and lo and his Lord, this is conversation. This is Quran. This is conversation interaction between God and His servant. And

00:29:14--> 00:29:48

it's like, and this is the reason why we're praying, we're thinking Allahu Akbar, and I'm thinking about, you know, my business, and I'm thinking every single foot on the face of the earth when it comes to my mind, except that I'm in front of my god. Why? Because we don't understand meaning. We can't concentrate because we don't understand the meaning if we knew Allahu Akbar and Mr. reciting all of Allah who had said Allah is One, we knew the meaning. Allah has Summit. He's independent, he's not in need of anybody. If we knew these meanings, when I was a bit of the follow up in our journals for Allah he will fetch and hamdulillahi rabbil aalameen that he would concentrate. If we

00:29:48--> 00:29:58

no Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad. You can say that, by the way before salutations even in prayer, according to many scholars, some might say no but Allahumma salli ala Sayyidina Muhammad

00:30:00--> 00:30:14

What what does it mean? When we say here to La he was salatu? was salam radica? What does it mean? So this, this is very important that we should not just be Muslim just because we were raised in a Muslim family. And that's about it, his cultural practices that we have.

00:30:15--> 00:30:35

Now, for example, marriage, let me look at a few examples in marriage, marriage, brothers and sisters, and I don't want to go into the topic of marriage. I've recently been given so many talks on marriage, and I'm actually so poor to the topical mesh topic of talking about marriage. Okay. Now, once I said have bought a good marriage, somebody said your point of marriage, it's an honor, the topic was

00:30:36--> 00:30:50

spoken so much American as still again, I've got a talk coming up in a couple of weeks time on marriage, but certain issues in marriage, marriage, first of all, in Islam, marriages, I Bertha worship.

00:30:52--> 00:30:56

It's worship worshiping Allah subhanaw taala. It's worshiping your Lord and Creator.

00:30:57--> 00:31:36

It's actually a form of worship. It's not a regular mundane, worldly activity. It's a sunnah. It's a practice of the messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him. It's an act of worship, the messenger sallallahu alayhi, wa salam, peace and blessings be upon him he married, he actually practically married himself. Islam does not have this understanding of you know, quenching your sexual desires, Islam understand, realizes that human being has these desires and they need to be fulfilled, but but in a right way, in a correct way, in a lawful manner, with a proper marriage, not in a lawful manner. Okay. So it's an actual act of worship. It's an act of a burden. And that's why

00:31:37--> 00:32:00

I've mentioned this many times that when people get married, they need to understand this realizes that Why are you getting married for what's the intention? Correct intention, it should be for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala I am only getting married because, well, the main reason I'm marrying is to please my Lord and my Creator, and solo to help me in this life it will help me I will be a help for my spouse to get close to her God or His God.

00:32:02--> 00:32:15

This is why people are married to bring one another close to Allah subhana wa Tada. This is the whole idea is not a routine, mundane worldly Act. Now, this is the understanding of Islam. And Islam has made marriage very easy, very simple,

00:32:17--> 00:32:29

extremely simple marriage. Marriage has been made. Extremely simply simple, but unfortunately, the more simple marriage is the more difficult we as Muslims have made marriage.

00:32:31--> 00:32:51

Marriages and everybody again, you know when when the person goes to the mosque or wherever the marriage ceremony is taking place, the Imam recites the hotbar the sermon is he recites verses of the Quran again, we won't have a clue what the guy is talking about, you know, yeah, you're Latina Herman otaku. Hola. Hola. Hola, como se either? Yeah, yeah, who knows?

00:32:52--> 00:33:08

Harper Takata he will have to move to the infamous New Moon. Here you will mess with Kamala the Halacha two minutes. Our Hala COVID has OSHA over seminoma regionalen Cathedral and we don't have to. We weren't just in the mosque. We just worried about when do we go home and get to our hotel.

00:33:10--> 00:33:16

That's the worry on our head. And that's just thinking about one thing. By the way, marriage is more than just the bedroom.

00:33:19--> 00:33:20


00:33:21--> 00:33:54

this marriage isn't a burden. Why are these verses recited? You know these verses if you look look at the meanings of these verses, these three verses of marriage which are recited from the Quran, at the time of the marriage sermon, have nothing whatsoever to do with marriage itself. There are many verses in the Quran and many things of the messenger of peace and blessings be upon him they deal with marriage. They're not one verse is read and recited. It wasn't sunnah, the way of the messenger peace and blessings be upon him some of our died anyway, he was so he used to recite these verses, why would you recite these verses, because it's to do with dukkha, the fear of of bad worshipping

00:33:54--> 00:34:34

Allah about getting close to Allah. So marriage is an act of a burden worship, and the more install has made it extremely simple. Since it is an advisor, since marriage is an act of worship. Since marriage is a form of worshiping Allah, Allah has made extremely marriage extremely simple, extremely easy. For the problem. As I said, our cultural practices, the more marriage is easy in Islam, the more difficult we have made, you know, marriage is so simple. You know how simple it is? You don't even need I mean, so now of course, ma'am. I'm telling you, I'm talking to you about the basic basic absolute integrals requirements. You joining us is, you need the man. You need the

00:34:34--> 00:34:36

woman. And that's it.

00:34:37--> 00:34:46

of tourists. This is one says for example, the woman says I give you myself to marriage the man says, Does I wish to build turkey.

00:34:47--> 00:34:52

According to her, I've accepted you. Two Witnesses witness that don't

00:34:54--> 00:34:57

nobody's getting mode here by the way she wants to come down

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

because so many people here

00:35:00--> 00:35:00


00:35:03--> 00:35:04

many volunteers.

00:35:07--> 00:35:09

But marriage is extremely, extremely simple.

00:35:11--> 00:35:41

It's the most simple thing. But we, because of our cultural customs, we have made it so difficult self imposed conditions. Like for example, I was talking about dowdy Maha, the man, I'm not saying the managers are income, he needs to have a stable background income, that's fine. But waiting until a man, you know, provides this and provides data and provides this and until he has this much amount of money, and this much dowry and this customer that customers are all nothing but customers cultural practices.

00:35:42--> 00:35:46

And it's serious because you know, because of this problem of cultural practices,

00:35:47--> 00:36:24

we see we see the results. Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in one Hadith, that in Aqaba illegal mentor, I don't know who to call who was enough as a way to who when you receive a proposal, from somebody who's manners and character and behavior and conduct you you're happy with, then just get your daughter married off to that person. If you don't, if you delay marriages, if you wait until my great great granddad comes from Pakistan, and India, and this person comes from there, and that doesn't come from here. And this cousin sister comes from there, and this man comes from here, and you wait for every practice and cultural customs to be fulfilled? And what would happen, you

00:36:24--> 00:37:00

know what the messenger Salallahu Alaihe salam, peace and blessings be upon him says in light of arguta conventional army officers and if you do not do that, if you don't get young people married off quickly, there'll be widespread destruction and fitna and tribulation on the line as we're happening today, when the doors are hunted are closed and I address this to the parents. We don't have programs probably. But I recently you know, I was in Canada in December one of the conferences that our I guess my whole topic was on this address was to the parents. And after that another so many young people came to me saying I was so happy today. I was so happy my my parents were sitting

00:37:00--> 00:37:13

there heard you talking and 111 brother came to Egypt, Mashallah. He's the reverse brother. He's a Canadian brother, he came to me he said, You know, so upset. My parents missed your lecture. They came just after your lecture. He repeated again for them.

00:37:14--> 00:37:44

So they shall have a token if you want. But for young people, I'm telling you parents really need to realize seriously parents Muslim parents need to realize they are not still living in Bombay or Delhi or India or Pakistan of Islamabad Karachi. They are living here. Don't make it difficult for your children. I mean, it's difficult day, you know, it's difficult. I mean, a man a grown up man or a woman a young person. Temptations are there. It's difficult. I mean, I have so many people who say they were married and it's difficult to love other people on marriage.

00:37:47--> 00:38:19

It's difficult for young people. So making easy marriages so simple. They want to marry somebody make simple just don't wake up from the same culture, same background, same ethnicity, there is no validity for this in Islam, Islam says golfer suitability, okay, compatibility, you may have compatibility with somebody from a complete total background, different background, different ethnicity, different culture, the brother may be from, you know, from China and the system may be from, you know, South Africa, for example.

00:38:20--> 00:38:30

You might, you might have somebody who's your close relatives, your first cousin, okay, but no compatibility. You're studying medicine, she's studying law.

00:38:32--> 00:39:06

Okay. You might have a first cousin, nothing in common, no chemistry, nothing in common. And you might have somebody you're from Punjab, and she's from like, from Bangladesh, for example. And you have everything in common. That's what it's called masks. GAFA suitability, there's nothing wrong whatsoever in a man marrying who's from a different background to a woman. Why don't we this has come from parents don't understand and don't worst is when they find it difficult for their daughters to get married to revert brothers. Hello, this is the worst

00:39:07--> 00:39:09

pastor is a Muslim? He's a Muslim.

00:39:10--> 00:39:31

Just because he's white, you know, didn't want to give the daughters where does that come from? You know, all the Companions, the warriors. You know, every single companion was referred. They were not they were not believing in Messenger of God, they all accepted embrace Islam. Every single time the worst is when somebody actually still, you know, says that, you know, just to go out or whatever they say.

00:39:34--> 00:39:59

That's the worst. They still consider that person to be a non Muslim. He's a better Muslim than you. Do. You know what there are so many people who embrace Islam, far better Muslims than me and you put together I know people like that there are far better Muslims than us. People who come into the fold of Islam, they embrace Islam. They are not just born typically like us in our Muslim family, and they just see culture around them and the stock price in Islam. They learn they read the book before they become Muslim. They actually

00:40:00--> 00:40:19

Read the book from beginning to end. We're at, let's see, we still haven't read the Quran. They read the book, they think about God, they think about Islam they look at the message of Islam, then when they wholeheartedly you know the heart sets in Islam that's when they embrace Islam. And they're very extremely practicing Muslims. This is generally the case unless of somebody just became Muslim because he just wants to marry.

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That's that's sometimes a problem. Just you know, just in a relationship all you have to embrace and you know, Islam and my parents won't accept you just because you're a non Muslim, you have to be a Muslim.

00:40:30--> 00:41:12

I don't know if their marriage is ever going to last but maybe you may not but somebody who wholeheartedly truly embraces that person I'm telling you most of the times is a far better Muslims than those people who are born in Western Canada. He's ethnicities background and then this is all based on Pride Vainglory. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in a hadith in Allah, but Allah, Beatrice Verily, Allah subhanaw taala has removed this Obeah BM is you know this boasting, Wilcock Ruby boasting with your ancestors with your parents that I am, for me poor and I'm from here, and I'm from there. This is completely cool. Newcomen Adam, Adam, Julio coming to rob, all of

00:41:12--> 00:41:38

you are from Adam. All of you have come out and peace and blessings be upon him. And Adam was created from just we are all created from the earth. Every single one of us created from the earth. There's no felida There is no preference la familia de nada Jimmy in the Calista behind him in Asmara, without being Black or White does not make you any good. Does there's no virtue in being white blood, green, purple, blue, whatever. It

00:41:39--> 00:42:07

is the taqwa. No, see, there are the Allahu Anhu who's apocynin from Africa, he was so close to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And the messenger of God you know, when he realized that there was some kind of something you know, kind of between, it may lead to some kind of friction between two different groups communities. He was the first to stop that. He was extremely against this idea of different tribes

00:42:09--> 00:42:13

arguing or debating or calling or fighting amongst each other.

00:42:14--> 00:42:19

He actually done the two tribes that were fighting for years and years pre Islamic Arabia

00:42:20--> 00:42:40

has Raj and oh second hydrogen house and Allah talks about that in the Quran. Welcome to my channel for another caminha when he talks about unity. Here you're the denominator, Allah aka Ducati, when I tune in, I want to see him we'll be happy Lehi, Jeremy our letter for Rocco was called in Yarmouth Allah He it could be quantum either and

00:42:42--> 00:42:49

he brought the hearts together. This is such a big problem, you know, you know this marriage issues about cultural customs about, you know,

00:42:51--> 00:43:04

being from the same caste. And that is a serious forced marriage issue. I don't know who ever said that. Islam, advocates forced marriages. I don't know where that's coming from.

00:43:05--> 00:43:46

Pick up any book. Any book of Hadith pick up Sahai of Imam Al Bukhari pick up Sahih Muslim these are collections of Hadith sahih al Bukhari is the main collection of prophetic scenes and traditions. A sophisticated Nikita villa, the most authentic book after the book of Allah even verses of the Quran, but I'm sure you're more explicit, you know, statements of the messenger of peace and blessings be upon him. Pick up any book you'll find Hadith clear, you find a word large bar. Now each bar, there is no force, there is no force. A man or a woman is simpler. A daughter can never Islamically be forced to marry who they want don't want to marry. Never it's absolutely sinful. If

00:43:46--> 00:43:53

parents forced their children to marry, they will actually be guilty of a major crime in the sight of Allah.

00:43:54--> 00:44:00

Basic, there's no rocket science, basic teachings of Islam. Basic sometimes people think reading is always something

00:44:02--> 00:44:09

I don't know why people are so astonished. This is basic routing of Islam, where there's clear Hadith for example,

00:44:10--> 00:44:45

there's a hadith in Sahih al Bukhari Sahih Muslim I'll be crippled be crude to start off enough see her in other trilogy was a non married woman. She will be asked, you have to seek a consent before she is married off. The she refuses. There is no way over. There is no permissibility of marrying her off without a doubt so many distressing stories by that I've talked to so many sisters taken for Pakistan, passports being compensated sorry, I don't have anything against Pakistan, you know, spinal actually studied in Pakistan. I lived in Karachi for two three years. I loved Pakistan.

00:44:47--> 00:44:48

I wouldn't go there right now.

00:44:52--> 00:44:59

This is an airspace actually. I really enjoyed my time in Karachi, and I also went to Punjab area, which is not bad and I went to all sorts of places for a bit

00:45:00--> 00:45:00

was touring

00:45:01--> 00:45:05

but I loved was one of the places I really liked enjoyed my time

00:45:06--> 00:45:10

you know used to go to the restaurants and then go and have some nice time on you know the

00:45:12--> 00:45:18

the sweet part with all the different types of things and that's you know when I started eating pardon microscope of some problems

00:45:20--> 00:45:26

but I really enjoy Pakistan Pakistan mashallah you know Pakistan people are good people it's not that I have anything on my original my back I mean I was born here but

00:45:27--> 00:45:41

Dundrum is from India but I very rarely I mean I don't have this you know thing about Indian or Pakistani or anything like that rather than the people who are very close to me my close friends most of them are Pakistan's

00:45:43--> 00:45:43

most of them

00:45:44--> 00:46:15

the people who work with me in the website you will the website that most of them will Pakistani so mashallah, you know, they're very good people, but it's just very unfortunate. The reason why a lot of things come out from Pakistani communities because there are a lot of Muslims, whenever you have more people in the community, you have good and you have a lot of cases of that. But there's so many people I've spoken to. There was one sister she was about 18 taken away passports confiscated she was taken to Lahore beaten up she can't even say a word. She was so scared to say even one word

00:46:16--> 00:46:40

beaten up by her brothers. I mean brothers born and bred here don't have a brain. don't have internet give us not as hard parents. Okay, they probably culturally oriented. The brothers are born and bred here degrees. Stay the university is still you know, first forcing marriage and saying that if you say no, if you go against our mother's wishes, then that's it. You have a blue and a black guy.

00:46:42--> 00:46:49

It's a big problem. forced marriages have no place in Islam no place. But by the way, I will just mention this to you.

00:46:51--> 00:46:54

There's a difference for our especially non Muslim friends.

00:46:55--> 00:46:57

There's a difference between

00:46:59--> 00:47:18

there's a difference between forced marriages and arranged marriages. There's a massive difference. Okay? Don't confuse the two. Do you anonymous Muslim friends do not confuse the two. There's a big difference arranging means just to arrange helping, assisting. If you want to get married, you come to us, okay, look, let me help you. If you wanna get married

00:47:21--> 00:47:22

you can come to know help you

00:47:23--> 00:48:00

arranging you have to arrange you can't just like your brother can't just walk up their sister or sit down and get married. It has to be arranged. Okay. So it's planning beforehand, parents helping assisting you talk to parents, you talk to relatives, they know somebody that might be a sister or a mother, your brother they mashallah you know, you might have some compatibility. things in common. You have to arrange, arrange to use it. It's an effective way of finding a suitable person for marriage. It's not a Islamic injunction in of itself. And neither is a prohibited it's just something if somebody wants to go through the account, it's fine. If you find them, you know, you

00:48:00--> 00:48:09

ask around and you find somebody, somebody suggest that yes, you know, normally in every community, you have those aunties, they know, they know everybody

00:48:11--> 00:48:14

answers, Mashallah. The old days, you know, they have a very good job.

00:48:16--> 00:48:53

But they actually get rewarded. It's a great reward for helping somebody get married. Is it crucial? Would they just sit in court, nothing better to do that they actually do have a lot of reward. They're helping people find spouses and fulfill their sunnah. Okay, so this is arranging arranging, there's no problem. As long as the ultimate final choice is realized and rests with the person married. ultimate final choice lies with the person's knowing that's the most important thing. Parents can say, look, and I say to the young, younger people, as you know, consider what your parents have to say. Don't just say okay, no, I don't want to feel. I don't want to hear who you're

00:48:53--> 00:49:04

suggesting. Forget it. Don't want to hear anything. No, no. If you do that, then that's the wrong way as well. We have to respect your parents. Consider talk to them. You okay? There's somebody you think might be suitable for me fine. Let me see.

00:49:05--> 00:49:30

And if you think that they're not suitable for you, then just in a respectful way, respect is very important parents. The most important right parents have is respect in Islam. We have two things we have respect and we have obedience. Respect is an absolute right which means that there are no ifs and buts any situation respect is necessary. When the parents force you do you to do something wrong sinful haram respect is that when Jehovah God

00:49:31--> 00:49:59

forbid, Fidel Romo was able not to do any amount of but obedience is depends. Sometimes you have to obey sometimes you don't have to obey. If they for example, tell you not to pray, you must disobey them. It depends on the whole you know detail, explanation when and when you have to obey or disobey etcetera. So with respect to save, you will be sinful. See, look, this person is not right for me. I remember your criteria in marriage if you do have tokenized criteria should be slob Of course.

00:50:00--> 00:50:03

So based on that, but this is this is the teaching of Islam.

00:50:05--> 00:50:27

Consider and then if you do not agree the final ultimate choice has to be with the two people who are married because they are married. Another big problem in our culture is like when two people are married, it's not just to be remarried. It's like the whole, you know, conduct from here. And the whole family, extended family from two people. Two families are married, the granddad's and the grandmas and everybody from

00:50:29--> 00:50:54

I'm not saying people should not be involved, they shouldn't be involved, how be happy for them, but leave them to it. Don't interfere. Interference is one of the greatest problems because of which marriages break down. Don't interfere, let them carry on with their life. Again, marriage I mean, the time is short, there are many customs and cultural practices. Like for example, you know, I'm one of them know, some of these things.

00:50:57--> 00:51:21

I talked about extravagance in Mahara and dowry, you know, the dowry, as I mentioned, so move away from there. That's a culture that's an Arabian cultural practice extravagance in dowry. So you're gonna amaro the Allahu Anhu used to say, Allahu Socata Nyssa make sure do not be extravagant in the amounts of matter and gallery you pay at the time of marriage for in the Hello Canada my chromatin fees duniya de la la

00:51:23--> 00:51:49

vida Salama, who are you sell it hard paying extortionate amounts as dowry been something regarded as an honorable thing and a virtuous thing? Most rightful person would have been your messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would have given his wife extraordinary amounts as dowry, but he never did. So Tao is as well this is a cultural custom extortionate amounts of dowry and you know what, now it's even worse.

00:51:50--> 00:52:05

The woman has to give the dollar Subhanallah seriously there are some cautious the woman's family the woman's father has to give a car you know like one brother said to me, I'm gonna get matches to this you know this sister because her destiny is gonna give me a nice Mini Cooper.

00:52:07--> 00:52:08

For you for her

00:52:11--> 00:52:17

there's no such a thing in Islam. These are all cultural things in Islam, the only thing is a minimum of minimum amount Mahara

00:52:19--> 00:52:34

which is around I don't know how much it is right now. Approximately something like about 300 pounds. Approximately it depends on the silver gloves. That's it, nothing else Mangus married woman fix 300 pounds. You're done and dusted with relax and enjoy life.

00:52:35--> 00:53:11

That's it, all these crucial customs coming from to have no place whatsoever in stuff. You know, the bride has to give this and and the parents have to from this side have to give birth and they have to detach these or prolong and delay marriages. And because of which doors have haram and unlawful sins open up, the more difficult we make marriage. The more marriage the more difficult make the more doors for unlawful activities opened up. more doors for an awful illicit relationships open up. And then after marriage there are many rules of Islam after marriage, you know after marriage. There's a hadith and Sunnah Tyrion.

00:53:12--> 00:53:20

But the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was talking about the wife he said that all men teach future women in a nice way. And then he said that

00:53:21--> 00:54:05

find them a Honda Accord. They certainly Hakuna che and Aveda, 30 these why these women of yours your wife, she has left her father, mother, brother, sister, everybody behind. She has left everybody behind. It's just come to live review. Our company has restricted herself to you. And hence you do not go any other thing above the fact that she's lived living with you. She's moved. That's it. She's living with you. She's Thai, you know, the bond of marriage. And she's given that commitment. That's it over and above that you don't have no right. This is Hadith. Where does all these rules come that? Look, you know, don't take these things out of context. So these are cultural

00:54:05--> 00:54:39

things. Okay. There's no way in Islam that a daughter in law has to serve the parents. Nowhere. She has not even sinful she has a right to live separate if she wants to. There's a basic right of Islam stuck in a circle and one of the rights the man has to provide shelter I've actually written articles on this on the website as well. Thoroughly for website as well. If you see sociopath website, she has a separate sukhna She wants a shelter an area if you want you have a man needs to look after his own parents and do it yourself. Don't force yourself to do it.

00:54:41--> 00:54:59

You want to live next door go everyday look after your parents do everything you must do because looking after parents is one of the greatest central obligations of Islam. You have to look at your parents. You can't just let like when I mentioned this one somebody said all mothers will just send the parents in the nursing home now I said no, no, that's not what I meant. Didn't mean you send them away to

00:55:00--> 00:55:35

A nursing home or anything like that you look after your parents, but don't force your wife because she doesn't have to do to start eating. Yes, if she does, so she will be greatly rewarded, she will get a lot of reward for a job from ALLAH SubhanA. God. And you know what the wisdom behind this is? That let me explain this to you. You know what the wisdom is? And I've mentioned this before as well. The wisdom is that if we learn if the parents in law, the father in law, the mother in law, the daughter, you know, they understand, they realize the look, the God knows, she doesn't have to really do anything for us. Okay, she doesn't have to do anything for us. If she does. She's doing a

00:55:35--> 00:56:13

favor on us. They have this understanding in the mind in the brain. They realize that, though we happen to see no comms. And if she does some household work, she looks after the parents in law, she does good to the mother in law and the father in law, she takes care of the household affairs, the mother in law, think, wow, she doesn't really have to do this. Look, look how she's doing. So she will always thank her, she'll show her appreciation to show her gratitude. She'll always be grateful. She will not think it's a God given rights, she will not expect it, she will not demand it. She will appreciate it. And if she appreciates it, what will you do? What'd you do? All she say

00:56:13--> 00:56:18

to her? She'll thank her. And you know, when women if you thank her more, the more they do it

00:56:19--> 00:56:25

the more you appreciate something, the more women do it. So in this case you actually be doing more the mother in law is saying

00:56:27--> 00:57:09

you know, it's really good, you know, you don't have to do it. And she didn't want to do more. I should actually do more out of her own will was in the latter case when it's demanded expected when the assault is a bit more a bit less she gets cold. Okay, in that case, what happens? She gets frustrated as well Why Why is he shouting at me for I don't want to do it and even if she does something, it will be out of force. It will be out of force out of frustration something done out of your own will with a full heart wholeheartedly it's much better than just doing something just being forced and frustration and just be don't really want to do it and then that leads to break down

00:57:09--> 00:57:41

amazed you know how many marriages are broke down because of the interference of the in laws so many marriages of people think that Islam actually give a talk once on rights or in Leicester you know, rest is not too good you know as well I mean, so many cultural practice in a masjid as much currently we're talking almost in this there was just women it was only wearing me and there was another person who's four years ago I talked about rights and husband rights and wife I said all this about the rights of women I went through rights of wife I talked about the husband as well many rights of the husband 12345 This topic when so I talked about the rights of the wife that you know

00:57:41--> 00:57:51

good treatment and then separate shelter she you have to the husband has to kill all these old ladies. They really went against the young ones were happy

00:57:52--> 00:57:57

but the older ones panela like some people phoning my mother and this and that

00:58:00--> 00:58:10

and some of them said that we've been limited 25 years investor and all these old all Imams nobody's ever said this was this guy could come on the block and telling us what is seriously

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what was teaching us Islam all these people my father is a new mom has been older has been arrested here. So they say this father has never said this

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person come from so then I had to show him

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as well so my dad actually did since and

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so after that people come down he said Look, these are the true teachings of Islam. These are the true teachings of Islam we just we know it's all kosher.

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So even after marriage, I mean there are so many so many examples forced marriages as I said unlawful serving in laws as I mentioned separate accommodation.

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Physical abuse, domestic violence has nothing whatsoever to do with this time nothing people try to substantiate or prove you know the action by coaching Hadith or the Quran was removed when when bang bang bang and you know, ambulance coming listen that not this is always fam says the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said yami to arducam. Murata who gel the Abdi further Allah who you thought you have in a hurry only one of you beats and strikes your spouse your wife as like as though she was like in some kind of a safe and then in the middle and then at the end of the day when it's time to sleep. Then what happens you know you're cozy and sorry and united minutes and all

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that meaning, meaning how can this individual even think during the day is beating her up? And then a night he thinks he or she is going to be all party party with

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her How can she even expect her to respond to his advances when he beats her during the day? This is what the message is for Allah or use an unsafe hula equaliser. Recall those people who beat up with spouses they are not good people. In the words of the messenger SallAllahu Allah you send them if our message

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Your peace and blessings be upon him V saying that we are this person who beats up his spouse, the pizza, the wife is not a good person, then without a doubt, there is no shock, there is no doubt that this person is not a good person. We are not saying is not a good person, the Messenger of Allah peace and blessings be upon him. He's saying it's not a good person. So this has Well, I mean, it's a topic in itself and has nothing whatsoever to do with with Islam. And then I want to just briefly have five minutes.

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Give us there are so many cultural things in divorce. Seriously, divorce is like a big problem.

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Things like for example,

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if a person is divorced, this comes from the Hindu culture. I think the person if a woman is divorced is difficult for her to marry again, are all the villa where does that come from? Where does he see this from? Islam encourages a woman who is divorced, move on, get another husband, no problem, whether it's it's just 3040 5060 7080 Doesn't matter. Even if you're 18 you need a companion because marriage is not just about better that bedroom, need a companion in life. So after divorce, or when the husband passes away, he leaves this world.

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Congress married, just when was it? I think two or three days ago, I spoke to somebody.

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Somebody phoned me

01:01:20--> 01:01:20


01:01:22--> 01:01:34

yeah, I was speaking to somebody that their father is in his 60s. And I just asked this was I think, what he was testing? Yeah, I think it was on Monday, I spoke to somebody on the phone.

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And the father is really district depressed. And all these years.

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The mother actually passed away when the whole young two three fours he's been without a wife for good 34 years. Okay. And he's like, really sad and depressed and doesn't do anything, nothing's active. And this

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daughter of his had all these, you know, things in our mind that, you know, why is he in the state? asked one question, did he ever marry after this had not said he wanted to was thinking of, but there were too many cultural constraints,

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that Allah is considered to be a taboo in society. So that's the worst mistake that he did. And you don't watch brothers and sisters, if you know that something is right, according to Islam, don't ever think about who's going to say what and when. Don't ever think about that. If you think if you're always always going to be concerned about what people are going to say, what the community will say, what the people in my culture will say what people will say, Don't ever bother about that. As long as you know, Allah and His messenger are happy with you. Because they are happy with you don't ever, ever think about what people will say. Because if you you never please people, if you if

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they're happy today, tomorrow, they'll find something else. And if you do something, though, we don't talk for a while I'm gonna have to do a year it's died down, nobody will even remember. Nobody will even think about you. There'll be another big problem in the community that has a lot to talk about and shatter your union done. So don't don't just worry about who's going to say what is the last thing that should be on the divorce if there's a need for divorce, if there's a need for a divorce, Islam says have a huddled halali in Allah Tala

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the worst or the most disliked of the permissible, the legitimate the lawful things, lawful divorces local, the most disliked of the lawful things is divorce, which means that divorce is not an awful sinful haram dirty, nasty. It's not. We in our culture, we have made divorce to be something like what an evil, it's not ideal. It's sometimes the last resort. Sometimes you have to go through a divorce. Yes, as a last resort, you try, you'd go through all the avenues and you try saving your marriage. But sometimes, there's no solution except for divorce. Now, don't think what people are gonna say, if you just, you know,

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going through your marriage just for the sake of it, what kind of marriage is this? Divorce is permissible, therefore, this, you know, and you know, why this, why we need to know that divorce is permissible, because I'll tell you why. And I will end on this in Chava.

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Because this contributes to many other problems. Like, for example, when we have this notion, we have this understanding, we think divorce is evil. It's nasty, it's dirty. It's something that we should you know, it's an evil thing. It's a haram sinful thing. What will happen? When divorce takes place, there has to be somebody guilty. There has to be a guilty party, because it's wrong. Somebody has to be blamed, who's going to be blamed. The man will say the wife was at fault. She will say it was him nobody looks at their own faults, of course, you know, they're all blaming, both are blaming one another, blaming each other's families. Like the the wife will say, you know, my husband like

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I've heard this a lot. Yeah, he was okay with like, it really was his mother. She

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Here's the nasty one, you know, the wicked one.

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She's bought everything and you know, it wasn't really him. But all pointing fingers at her husband's family, her husband's family points fingers otherwise somebody because you know, it's like two families have married as well in the beginning. So that's another start, you know that took place, but now divorced as well. So now when two families marry two families have to divorce and two families are fighting with one another and they become lifelong, lifelong enemies seriously those two families have gone through divorce, with the exception in Loma Mirage, Mirage book except the one who has mercy on but generally to lifelong enemies, these families why? Because the reason was

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that they they thought divorce is sinful, it's dirty, hence somebody has to be blamed. Now nobody wants themselves to be blamed. So they will blame the other party. But if they understood if they learned they realize that according to Islam, divorce is not sinful. It is not haram it's not it's sometimes even you can have the two greatest of people know you can have the Imam of Junaid of the time. And there are over three of the time, and they can also have to close. The messenger is very recent divorce his wife he wasn't evil. The messenger peace and blessings be upon him once contemplated divorce in many of his wives. And he divorced so them into summer for the long term. He

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divorced her and then he took her back afterwards. So even profits went through divorce is if we realize that divorce is something that's not unlawful, it's permissible. Then, if you separate you will depart, depart according to what Quran tells us. The Quran tells us depart with son Assad is being excellent, Excellency, we as Muslims, we have to be more sane more soon. In Allah Ketubot son Allah cliche. Allah has written asana and everything, everything we do, we do it in an excellent way. If a doctor don't fasten on the back end person, even when you slaughter an animal solution with axon devoted through axon Allah says Tanaka, Murata and for himself are often out Ussery from

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the axon. If you want to divorce divorce with axon you don't want the way of Islamic way of divorces. The Islamic way of divorce is and then I will end with this Inshallah, Islamic way of doing that, for example, the man says to the wife, the sorry, we couldn't get on with one another. No hard feelings Sorry, I wasn't good enough for you in sha Allah, may Allah bless you give you a better man a better better husband in me. The word goes to the husband, sorry, you know, couldn't work, make things work hard, etc. May Allah bless you with a better wife than me. And you have a good life, your future and move on with your son. And in according to Islam, the man is encouraged

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to give a small gift, which is called a matar. Everybody knows about one meter, you know, but this MOOC material Hoonah and an almost a quarter, and a quarter of Matera minima have happened and Watson is the one who the jurors have good when you leave departure when you divorce the wife would you do? Give him a small gift? What's the reason? No hard feelings? But what happens in our community? Lifelong enemies? What do you mean no hard feelings, all hard feelings. And then, even worse than that, even worse than that, is when children are used and that I don't want to get into that subject because I've been very strong about that. Children are used to let me forget the

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spouses here. Here. The oppression is on the child. The child needs a father, the child is a mother.

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People use the children as shields. Why did the man it was me I will make sure he'll never see a father oppressing the kid, the child, the son. He's a father. I need any mother. And that's why we have people like fathers for justice. They need justice. Right? So when you're in Chicago, there are many many things that can be said.

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There are rules of child custody in Islam, not according to cultural customs, etc, etc. Inshallah and we'll have some questions but with this recording

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you're selling 100