Mufti Menk – Put Emotions Aside While Solving Matters
AI: Summary ©
The speaker advises the audience to improve themselves by listening attentively to people complain about problems and taking small promises. They also suggest taking small promises to avoid causing feelings of anxiety and building trust with the creator. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being conscious of one's actions and not giving people reasons to mistrust them.AI: Transcript ©
We need to make sure
that we improve ourselves in order to be
able to resolve matters and problems.
Don't always point a finger at the others.
Remember, as you are pointing the finger at
the others, the rest of the fingers are
pointing back at you. You need to consider
that you might be wrong. You need to
make amends.
You need to make sure that you listen
attentively
to what is being said when people have
a complaint. Be it against you or the
situation
that happens to be troublesome.
When you talk about it, listen and listen
carefully and listen attentively.
Sometimes we don't even give people a chance
to communicate.
They become frightened. They don't want to raise
the matter simply because
they are
petrified of us. How will we act? What
we will say.
If that's the case, surely you need to
improve yourself.
Surely you need to improve yourself. Give people
a chance to speak. Don't react in an
emotional
outburst. Put your emotions aside
and that is how you will be able
to deal with problems.
If you become very emotional, you're not going
to be able to deal with the matters.
But
if you put your emotions aside, you listen
to people,
you calm down, you react in a beautiful
manner, you try to solve the problem. Listen
to what the Quran says.
A beautiful verse. Allah says,
if both parties
really want to solve the problem,
if both parties want to solve the problem,
Allah will grant them acceptance
to do so.
Don't let it be a match where one
person is in it not to solve the
problem but to prove who was right and
who was wrong.
If you are trying to prove who was
right and wrong, you're not going to solve
the problem.
But it should be greater than that. It's
okay if I was actually right. But I
don't want to mention that because at the
moment I'd like to solve the problem.
Are you prepared to take a promise from
your spouse or from a family member that
I will not repeat this behavior or these
words or what I've done? And I promise
that. Are you prepared to take a promise?
True love
would ensure that you trusted them once again
or you worked on building the trust. That
having been said, we need to make sure
we need to make sure
that we don't give people reason to mistrust
us.
That's very important. People say, you must learn
to trust me, but you're giving me reason
to mistrust
you. Let me take a moment to say
Bismillah and close this umbrella. Right?
Mashallah.
Mashallah. I'm thankful to Allah that we actually
continued, hamdulillah.
So we need to be prepared to sacrifice
a little bit for those whom we love,
those whom we have come together
using the name of Allah with.
When we got to the masjid for example,
or there was an officiation of a nikah,
What did we do?
We used the name of Allah, we said
the name of Allah.
Didn't we?
Verses were read reminding us of being conscious
of Allah.
2 types of verses. 1 addressing mankind at
large
regarding relationships. And Allah is saying, be conscious
of your maker when it comes to the
relationships.
The other one says, oh you who believe,
be conscious of your Lord.
Because here you are, you are entering into
a relationship
making the family
and you will definitely need to bear Allah
in mind.
If my aim in life is to please
my creator
and your aim in life is to please
your creator, we have already minimized
the problems that we are going to face.
And if we do face them, we have
increased the chances of resolving them because my
aim and intention is to please the maker.