Channel: Mufti Menk
Sultan Qaboos Grand Mosque
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a salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Rahman Al Rahim In the name of Allah subhanho wa Taala the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful Alhamdulillah All praise is indeed due to Allah the creator the nourisher cherisher sustainer provider protector cure, the one in whose hands lies control of entire existence was Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy here Jemaine we send blessings and salutations upon the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, upon all those who were chosen by Allah, to pass the message of goodness to us and we send blessings upon his companions, his household as well as every one of us. We ask Allah to bless us and our offspring, those to come right up to the end, May
Allah keep us guided and continue to bless us. I mean, my brothers and sisters, I am saddened.
I'm saddened by the fact that this is my last public engagement here in Moscow.
But I'm happy that inshallah if Allah wills, perhaps, I will be back. May Allah subhanho wa Taala, grant us goodness. But there is something else that
I need to mention. When we speak about women. We find a lot of women very excited to listen to what we have to say.
Without realizing that it's actually the men who need to hear it.
So therefore, Masha, Allah tabarrok, Allah, as much as we are excited, and it happens, the women go home, and they show their husbands or they tell their men, this is what the chef said, and this is what the chef said, and the man says, Yeah, you just heard what you wanted. But because the men haven't heard it, they don't realize that it's quite a balanced statement. We don't want to side with anyone, we only want to respect each other. as partners, Allah has created us as partners. And this is something that I think we need a constant reminder about. So tonight, we're going to be speaking about women, the role of women, I know many of you think I'm going to go into the rights
and I'm going to go into the wrongs and I'm going to go into so much. But I've chosen to make mention of the contribution to the Islamic civilization of the first person from among the females who did this.
Let's look at the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him.
He was a great man, his birth was so great, it was the greatest news that had come to mankind.
And Subhana Allah, so many things happened that were positive.
He was born and Allah chose that
he would be raised an orphan. And this goes to highlight the plight of orphans and the fact that it doesn't mean if you were orphans, that Allah does not love you, because the one whom he has loved and loves the most went through the same.
He was also orphaned, and yet he was the most loved by Allah. So we look at things as negative yet, they could be positive. We think that sometimes we're disadvantaged yet we're not it's the opposite. You lose a job sometimes and you think you've actually, you know, the doors have been closed yet that was the opening of a much bigger door. SubhanAllah
so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam having been brought up.
He was known as a truthful man, he was known as an honest person.
And there was a very famous well known, well respected female in society in that pre Islamic Society of ignorance. Ignorance means Anja helia, Jha Hillier at a time where women were bought and sold, when they were treated as property when they were treated as a commodity. If a person had a debt, and he happened to die, what they would do is come back and pick who they wanted from his family, either the wife of the widow or the children, etc. It has happened at the time they maltreated their women they were made to do things that were unacceptable.
And it was at that time
that there was an honorable lady and noble woman so Panama. So it goes to show that there were some exceptions. She was from a noble home.
What was her name Khadija beautiful
waited for deja vu for waded out a lot later to be known as about the Allahu Allah as Muslims.
We have been taught that when you say the names of the prophets of Allah be it Jesus May peace be upon him, Moses May peace be upon him, Muhammad May peace be upon him.
No Noah May peace be upon him it is considered correct.
Respect or to respect them, it is considered correct to actually say after the name, peace be upon him or peace be upon them. And the same would apply to those who are companions of the messengers, where we say, may Allah be pleased with them, may Allah be pleased with them. So that's why when we say Khadija we say radi Allahu Allah, may Allah be pleased with her. I mean, and may Allah be pleased with all of us. I mean.
So, as she did her business,
many people had worked for her. They were employed by her they were given tasks by her. If I ask you, what's the meaning of employment? Well, you do what someone asks you to do in lieu of a payment.
You paid? Can you do this for me and I will pay you so much you're employed for a time or for a job. So Khadija beautiful way literally allow her being a woman.
It is said that she was
perhaps in her late 30s at the time.
And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was in his early 20s.
In his early 20s, he was not yet a prophet of Allah subhanho wa Taala. It was prior to him getting the prophethood.
She heard so much good about him that she decided, let me try this man. So she decided to give him the job.
Now let's pause for a moment here.
Who is giving you a job?
Have you ever thought of it?
We are respectfully mentioning it. But it's a fact. When I've addressed the men with this in the past, some of them said, You shouldn't have worded it that way. I said, but what's wrong? It's a reality. What makes you tell me that it's wrong to word it this way, when that's exactly what happened. There was a lady
who employed the man who was the most loved by Allah subhanho wa Taala, the greatest of all messengers to be, and the most blessed of all creation of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Why? Why?
Why did Allah choose that a woman would employ him?
And you know what? She told him what she wanted Subhanallah
I know the women today are going to go home. And tonight, let me tell you what I want. Did you hear?
Allah forgive us? I'm not saying this. Because of that I'm showing you the status of a woman. And how it should be. There is respect. There's nothing wrong in working for someone who's a female and getting instruction to say, look, please, can you do this? And please, can you do that? And so on. I know when I went home, you know, my family says to me, my wife tells me Well, yeah, that's right. We can actually tell the gardener please cut the lawn. But that's a totally different example. There is a lot of respect in what we are seeing here. It was chosen by Allah on a very high level, for many, many reasons, divine wisdom, it wasn't something on a low level, like you and I are very respectful.
There were so many lessons that came out of that. But it started off with a female.
Allah was preparing this man to receive Prophethood. And one of the ways that he was being prepared was that he had to work for a female. So Hannah law, and she had to instruct him as to what exactly she wanted in a very respectful way. And guess what, he fulfilled it in such a good way that she was attracted to him in a very clean way that she decided perhaps maybe I could marry this man Subhan Allah.
Imagine, what's the age gap there. According to the narrations, the age gap is approximately 15 years according to some of the narrations. Yes, there are other narrations here and there, but I mentioned in the common one, right.
So if she is in her late 30s, and he is in his early 20s. Imagine and there was nothing wrong for that idea to come from her side.
We have a difficulty. And I'm saying this because I know a lot of cultures across the globe, and cultures are different, but a lot of them consider it to boo for the women's side to suggest a marriage. What's wrong with that.
I suggested it's not like I've committed a crime. I mean, if I was in the masjid, and I met a young lad who I thought was such a great person, and I had a daughter, I might just tell him some, you know, what, where do you live? What do you do with the intention that I'm going to get to the point I want to get to know him more, there's nothing wrong with that I can communicate to someone who might know his father, or who might know someone and say, Look, I have a suggestion or get someone else to suggest it. But it comes and it came and it did. Sometimes we have too much pride in us too much pride, so we don't get things done. And they couldn't be done. We have so much pride that we
would block the marriages of our own kids, if they had to suggest that there's someone I like I'd like you to meet. I know that's not the normal cultural way of doing things. But it's not prohibited in Islam. Is it? No, it's not. You might say culturally, it's taboo. Well, you know what? The world is changing. It's become a little global village, we have to understand if Islam has allowed it, and it has happened in my womb, then why should I not consider it and deal with it rather than say, you know, what, we're Muslims don't blame Islam, don't blame Islam, for something that Islam has not promoted? And is not taught.
It's permissible. It's not wrong. I'm not encouraging it. But what I am saying is, if it did happen, or does happen, then learn how to deal with it. It has happened in the past, with a person shows an interest for some reason. How did this interest develop, it developed with an interaction, that interaction was upon the highest level of respect.
Sometimes you have your child gone to college, sometimes you have them gone to work, and the environment is absolutely respectful. It was not wrong, they did nothing harm. And if they were to come to you and make a suggestion, Well, here we are learning from this great woman, and this greatest of all examples that we could have had, that you know what? You have to consider these things you have to understand it can happen. I'm not going to be so harsh and hard, I won't have an answer for Allah subhanho wa Taala. On the day of judgment, what am I going to tell Allah when he says, you know, you blocked something that was totally permissible, and as a result, it led to
something prohibited, whoa, may Allah protect us. So this great lady,
when the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him came back from some of the journeys, the business journeys that she had asked him to undertake, to a sham, where the Syrian region is today. And she noticed the profit, profit as in the opposite of loss. And she noticed also, that every little cent in our terminology, every droplet of merchandise, was actually accounted for so much of honesty, so much of purity, so much of humbleness. And you know, when you address the opposite sex, there is a way to address the opposite sex both ways. utmost respect. She definitely saw the greatest of qualities and character because Allah has described this in the Koran later on, while in NACA,
Indeed, you are upon a very great for the grand level of character and conduct the highest level of character and conduct possible came from Muhammad peace be upon him. And this is why those who say that, he taught us to hurt to harm to be abusive,
to be jealous, envious, to hate to, to kill, etc, they are wrong, they're wrong, because that's not a high level of character and conduct. He cared for people, he loved people, he reached out to his enemies, he did a lot he taught us goodness, even at times of war, he taught his people to be just unfair, even in times of difficulty and hardship, he told him to forbear, and so on.
So she noticed this and you know what, against all odds,
the proposal was accepted.
Why do I say against all odds,
and I'm going to be open here. If we were faced with
our daughter, wanting to marry someone younger than her.
What would happen? Let's be honest, answer it within yourself, what would happen or
there was a proposal that came from a guy who was younger, what would happen? Why is it that we have to always think because our culture says the
The male should be older, slightly older, a little bit more older. That that's it. That's how it should be. No, there is nothing hard and fast. We blame Islam for something Islam did not promote. Here it goes again. And I know culturally it's very difficult to digest. Hence, I see the men are all very silent, very silent, because it's not easy to digest what I'm saying. But all I'm saying is, it's a matter to consider. I'm not promoting or demoting anything. I'm trying to just mention a fact and tell you, that is the Islam that we believe in. If it is happening, let it happen. Don't block it based on a year, two years, five years difference, etc. If really the characteristics are
there, the person is deserving, why not? Bismillah?
I actually addressed one issue once with a certain family that was struggling because the daughter wanted to marry someone who was much younger than her. And the father told me no, actually, the real reason is because
listen to this, the real reason is because you see, it's to do with death.
So what death is, is you know what that gap, there's gonna be a death, you know, who dies first? I'm like, What are you talking about? How dare you say that? How could you ever use this excuse, I don't know who's going to die, myself or someone else or my spouse or whoever's going to go first. Or if we're going to go together, that shouldn't stop you from getting married. So panela. But anyway, those were lame excuses.
When I say against all odds, there is another factor that needs to be taken into consideration.
Don't ever underestimate the mercy of the Almighty His goodness, don't ever underestimate it, if there is something that you're trying to achieve, that people may say is impossible. Trust me, that word doesn't exist for the Almighty, nothing is impossible. It may or may not happen, depending on whether the Almighty has allowed it. But let's move away from the issue of marriage and just learn a life lesson to say, don't think things are impossible and not even try. You try. And then if it happened Alhamdulillah. And if it didn't Alhamdulillah again, like I said the first day, and I received quite a few comments thereafter, where people said it was a very interesting factor. What
was it, I'm going to repeat it when things happen your way you thank Allah, because it happened my way Allah allowed it to happen my way when things did not happen your way you thank him double because it happened his way. And he's my boss. It happened his way he knows he's gonna take care of me. So I said handled in that handle life. Thank you, oh, Allah. I really didn't want it this way. But if that's what you want, I know there's a bigger picture that perhaps I can't see. That's a believer. That is what belief is all about. So it's actually amazing, my brothers and sisters, but something considered impossible. The next thing imagine this man, I can only imagine what type of
demand he might have been 25 years of age and he married someone who was 40 years old.
Very interesting. People called him a womanizer. Not at all if he was a womanizer. 25 marrying a 40 year old. Why? How come that doesn't suit that at all. rubella. Allah protect us. Remember, no matter what people say, against Muhammad, peace be upon him. Allah says it won't affect his reputation, it won't. In a cafe Nina kalamos Z, we have indeed protected you totally from those who want to mock from those who want to hear from those who want to falsely accuse and make any other statements. It will not affect your reputation, it won't, they will still be whoever is out there, respecting you and acknowledging that indeed you are the Messenger of Allah. Take a look at the
globe today, approximately 2 billion Muslims maybe SubhanAllah.
And a few people will laugh they will falsely accuse and sometimes their voices might be loud. But if they were given the opportunity to be genuine, to be sincere and to learn, they would at least nod their heads and say what a great man.
So he married Khadija, Benji for Wally, Robbie, Allahu Allah. He never ever said to her, you know, you're older than me. Because what happens in our society is, when we've done something that's considered a good deal, maybe we tend to brag about it, or we tend to keep making them hear what we've done. It's because of me that you're up. You know, even in business, if I helped someone with money for the rest of their lives, they're going to hear me say, I'm the one well, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had all these buildings here. You know, I'm the one who assisted you. I'm the one who gave you and for 20 years, if I had it my way, I would take it all back and say, Please have
it I don't need it.
May Allah grant us ease.
So he married this woman. And he respected her and they loved each other. And he had all his children from her besides one who was Ibrahim, who came later on all his children from her Subhana Allah amazing. And he really loved her company. And he didn't marry another woman. Although polygyny, which is limited polygamy was the order of the day, at the time, they used to marry as many as they wanted, they used to marry whoever and whatever Islam came and said, No, you cannot take whoever and whatever and how many never, you need to be able, you need to be meeting so many conditions, and it's only limited to a specific number.
And that was also for many reasons. Now, if you take a look at what happened thereafter,
he received Prophethood from Allah. Now, this is what I'm talking about. When I say right at the beginning, Allah chose for him to have someone who was going to be a pillar of strength for him a backbone. If I am standing here in front of you today, I promise you, you need to spare a moment to pray for my family.
Because they are sacrificing, that's why I'm here.
If you see people who are successful males, you need to know there is someone who's a female who's sacrificing something for them to have been successful, and perhaps vice versa, it could be the day my wife, for example, comes out and helps people and is very, very successful. They should also be praying for me Mashallah. And by the way, they are quite successful inshallah, according to me, Mashallah.
But at the same time, we tend not to appreciate each other sometimes we tend not to look at the goodness, go back to Rasulullah, the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him, he respected his spouse, he gave us so much respect. And he was so close to her that he shared with her almost everything.
And I'm not saying that it's your duty to share everything. But I want to ask you a question. How is your relationship with your spouse?
Would you share things that are close to you with your spouse? Many men of today would say No way. No, I wouldn't.
But why? Look at the relationship the Prophet sallallahu Sallam had,
he got up
to the kt in Hara, and he received Prophethood. And the verses were revealed.
And as he came down from that first meeting, jabril, the angel Gabriel, as he came down from that first meeting with jabril, Allah, his salon, the prophet peace be upon him, ran to his wife
paulsboro a moment.
Imagine if something happened, and I'm addressing the men here, okay. Imagine if something happened to you. That was major, and you were shaken.
And you ran to your wife, and you said, government, government and you know, government, give me that tight hand, and so on. And your friends heard about it. What would they say?
in today's society? Here's a look at this guy. He went to his wife, he quickly ran to his wife. It was an honor for the Prophet of Allah to run to his wives Emilio Nizam Maloney, the Thelonious Rooney, cover me enveloped me.
And it's mentioned in the Koran and it's an honor for that relationship to be so close for me that's inspiration to the highest degree to say, look at this relationship, how powerful it was, we are lacking as men. We would actually unfortunately, perhaps look down upon a person who's very close to his wife, I always tell the young who are married that you know what,
if you have nothing better to do, after Salah Elisha, go to bed.
And let's assume now it's a teaching of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. And they say no, I sit with my friends because they're gonna laugh at me that you know you're married and now look, you've forgotten us. But to be honest, the minute you marry your friends become second class because there is someone who's a first class citizen of the heart.
Mashallah, where do we get this from? The Prophet sallallahu Sallam that's your spouse. When he addressed us? Do you know what he said the best from amongst you is the one who is best to his wife. You know the hubby Pharaoh configure the best from amongst you is the one who's best to his wife. I'm almost certain that he was the best to his wives. In fact, he says that I'm the best from amongst you. With me You cannot compete. But from amongst you whoever is best, you will be the best as well.
And I want
pause for a moment because
if the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him himself is telling you the best from amongst you is the one who's best to his wife and his family members, because the term would start off with the spouse and then family members, don't you think that this is going to be a very important factor when it comes to your entry into paradise?
Well, if the Prophet himself is saying the best from amongst you is x, y, and z, on the day of judgment, don't you think if you were really part of those who had followed that you would, you are going to be a successful person on that day, it's going to be one of the things I was going to be judging you by how you treated your spouse and your family members. I hope this inspires us to become better with our family members.
Definitely, many of us think of the narration, we say it, we relate it in the rating. But we don't realize it's going to be one of the big factors on the Day of Judgment. And it is because the messenger was asked peace be upon him or messenger tell us, the people of Paradise, what are the qualities they would have for them to have been granted entry into paradise. And he says, the Kabbalah he was gonna follow up, he says, the consciousness of the Almighty, which means the strong relationship with the almighty in worship,
and the best of character and conduct, which means the relationship with the rest of humankind, the rest of the creation with the Almighty, that's what character is all about, what is character, what is a flap, it's how you relate to others. If I speak to you in a way that makes you feel important,
then I've developed my character. But if I speak to you in a way that makes you feel low, and cheap and bad, and irrelevant, then there's a problem with me, not with you.
So this is why to polish your character, is a sign of faith. And it's one of the characteristics that's going to get you into heaven. And this beginning of it is with your own family, as per the other narration.
So Panama. So the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, comes to his wife and says, You know what happened? And he narrates the story of the first revelation? And she said, Don't worry,
why don't worry, you're a very good man. Allah will not let you down. You know, what were her words. She says, what law he You're such a good man. You fulfill all the rights, we look after the orphans and the widows, you look after the neighbors, you're a truthful person, you have great qualities, great, etc. And she rattled a lot. She mentioned so many of his good qualities, and she says, law, your physical level, but then it's impossible for Allah to disgrace or to let down a person like you No way. Come Come with me. I have a cousin who's actually
not knowledgeable person of Revelation, let's go and talk to him. So when they went to speak to what a cabin nofal they found that he said, this is actually the same angel who came to Jesus May peace be on him, and who came to all those before in terms of messengers. So very soon, you're going to be appointed to convey the message to the masses. And I pray that I am there at the time when your people drive you out of your city.
And he said, What, are they going to drive me out of my city?
And he said, Yes. Just like they did with those before you look at the Prophet Jesus made peace be upon him. What happened to him? similar.
People don't appreciate goodness and kindness, a good word at times. So the wife's initiative was something and he followed through with it. He didn't say, Look, I'm a man, you're a woman, you keep quiet, you sit back, I'll decide what to do. But that's the attitude of some of us. And we think it's natural. You know, we think it's really something grand I'm a big man, I'm strong. I put my women in their place, you know?
Know, the strongest man is the man whose wife can say is the best guy
Subhanallah Do you know why? You and I? How long do we meet each other for even if you work, you go to work. You're showing someone's aside that you want to show them for a few hours every day. But when you go back home, they know that you you they know the true you because they live with you. They have been with you. They see you
when you're hungry when you might be slightly angry. How do you react what happens they know you inside out. So that's why when they say your husbands are very good man. I know better than
Then you, I know much better than you I wish he was a good man.
But in the case of the Prophet, so I said, I'll take a look at this. She was the first to accept his message from all of the human beings from all of mankind, and Who Was she a female, she was a woman, and she supported him in every possible way. And this is what Allah subhanho wa Taala did, he kept with Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, those who would take care of him who would support him who would be by his side, take a look at Abu Bakar. And take a look at Omar. And as time passed before that, look at the grandfather of the Prophet peace be upon him, look at the uncle of the Prophet peace be upon him. Those were the wife and the uncle Khadija beautiful way though the Allahu Allah and Abu Talib,
they were two people who really stood by his side at a time when it was needed the most. And it was designed by Allah subhanho wa Taala. And he appreciated it. Not once did he raise his voice against his wife. How many of us do that?
We do it free free, meaning it's not even deserved.
And we claim to be Muslims and good Muslims, and we want to talk about women and want to talk about the role of women. But you know what, we don't even understand who a woman is,
So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was supported in a very, very strong way by this great mother of the believers to be known as the Allahu anhu.
And the day she passed away, was a very, very sad day, a very sad day, the prophet peace be upon him used to speak about how he misses Khadija even later on in his life of the Allahu Allah.
At the same time, when he lost his uncle, in the same year, it became known as the year of sadness, a year of sadness. Now, let's move on.
Let's see, instead of going into the lives of other women, let's look at ourselves. Today, the divorce rate has shot up for many reasons. And I'm not blaming any one of the two. But what I wanted to say is, if we were to understand the treatment of women, and how it should be, perhaps we would be able to contribute towards resolving matters that arose if they did arise anyway.
But the difficulty is every small thing, and the the divorce comes through every small thing and the warning of divorce comes through for what? Why use it as a weapon as a tool to say this is the most use, why
we tend sometimes to impose on the women that which is not from the religion and not from the faith, but rather it is taken from culture and the times.
If it is unacceptable, we quickly use Islam so that the world thinks about it in the wrong way. Yes, there is a dress code, the dress code is not just for women, when we talk of hijab, it's not only for women, yes, perhaps their covering happens to be of a slightly different nature. But the covering extends to the men as well. They should also be covered in a specific way, they should also avoid this type clothing that would review and you know, the guys want to put up their t shirts right up to their muscles and say no, but there's nothing wrong. It's not It's not like private parts. But hang on. Do you know what you how you dressed? Do you know how you're supposed to be
dressed? And do you know it doesn't only apply to a woman but because it suits us? Well, it applies to the women, HR HR Come on the women, and we want to put them aside and throw them right to the back and claim that that's religion. No, no, no, no.
Yes, while we do know that there is supposed to be
responsibilities filled and fulfilled by the males, that happened to be big duties and big responsibilities, Allah is placed on our shoulders, but Allah says you know what? The rights for her and the rights that she has to fulfill are similar. There are similar, so people speak about equality. While in Islam, there is detail of three categories that we need to understand when we talk of equality, that equality should not be used to abuse either of the sexes or the genders.
Because in certain ways,
a woman has been elevated above a man in certain ways a man has been elevated above a woman and in search in most ways. were equal completely the same.
Your access in mind and talking of a female a female access and mind to Allah Almighty is absolutely equal, it's equal, but she will give birth which makes her higher than myself in the eyes of the Almighty in that regard and that's why when the Prophet peace be upon him was asked man happiness, Betty,
you know what that means? they asked the Prophet peace be upon him, Who is the most deserving of my kindness, you said your mother.
And after her
after that, your mother
and after that, your mother, and the fourth time
when he was asked after that, your father?
Didn't the prophet SAW Selim raised above a man in this regard?
So we have to take into consideration the physical differences. Yes, indeed, Allah created us differently. Allah created us in a unique way. Allah created us in order to fulfill certain purposes and roles, which cannot be mixed up because I cannot give birth.
But a female can Allah grant us offspring, I mean,
I may not be able to suckle the child breastfeed the child, but a female Can
you see, so we cannot deny that yes, they are differences. But we cannot use that. To disadvantage a female and say, she's low, she's lower than me that is dangerous. That's not from Allah. In the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
He has granted us exactly the same access to him. In fact, a woman can achieve heights far higher than men in closeness to Allah, through her own sacrifice. Look at the instructions of Islam. When Allah tells you to fulfill Salah is for both male and female, when Allah tells you to, and to give alms to the poor, it's both for male and female. When Allah tells you to go for Hajj, it's for both male and female, when Allah tells you to fast in Ramadan is for both male and female, when Allah tells you to believe in the angels and the prophets and the books and the hereafter, and the good and bad coming from him, etc, etc, is for both male and female. So the Pillars of Islam, the
Pellissippi, man and etc, etc, that is all for both completely the same and absolutely equal in terms of instruction.
But Allah is the Creator, and he knows the differences. So therefore, there might be a slight difference in certain things. You cannot expect a woman who's just given birth, to fulfill her Salah exactly the same as a man who's never given birth.
SubhanAllah that reminds me, you know, when you think of the belly
reminds me of what I was telling one of the brothers. Yes. And I can repeat it on a lighter note, Mashallah, some of you must have seen it already. They say, you know, when you reach that middle age spread the college, you know, you develop love handles and a slight belly, Mashallah, you know, so the wife looks at her husband, and he's and she says, You better do something about that belly is beginning to pop out.
So he looks at her and says,
Look at your own buildings popping out as well. Why are you looking at me look at your bellies popping up, do something about that. She says, but I'm about to become a mother. He says, Well, what do you think I'm also about to become a father.
Allah forgive us that was just on a lighter note, but showing you how, in fact, that's a beautiful relationship. I think it depicts a really loving, kind relationship. It's not actually said in anger. I mean, if I had said that to my wife, I think she would laugh about it. If I said, I'm about to become a father. So excuse my belly. By the way.
We all should be concerned about what we look like many people think that it's only a woman's duty to be looking prim and proper law, ie it's a man's duty, just as it is a woman's duty.
They say Oh, these women don't dress up for us. Well, do you support for her your wife? Do you dress up for her? Do you actually go home and you're looking neat, prim and proper. And she says Where are you going? I'm not going anywhere I came to you. So Pamela Wow. I think that would change the world.
Marshall, it would actually change the world because we expect them to be on best looks and everything and you come in and your hair is this finger smelling she might say hi, me Allah forgive us.
Trust me, it's an act of worship, to Don yourself to dress properly correctly.
For your wife, Mashallah, look, we're talking about women, man, I told you, they should be men listening to this but Mashallah, they've come in large numbers. May Allah make it easy for myself and for everyone else. They should be attracted to you in a way that they are proud that you're the husband.
And I know there might be a lot of young men who are not married May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant you a spouse that will be the coolness of your eyes. I mean and the sisters as well. If you're not married, may Allah grant you a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes.
That was quite loud. I mean, Mashallah. Mashallah, Mashallah.
it's unfortunate that sometimes we expect things from someone and we don't want to even help them assist them. I give you an example I told you the three levels, some things Allah has raised a woman above a man and I gave you an example some Allah has raised a man above, for example, in physical fitness and
Allah subhanho wa Taala has created a man differently, he doesn't go through a monthly cycle and so on. It could be looked at as a positive and it could be looked at as a negative from the aspect that he might not appreciate what a woman's going through. It happens.
May Allah make us more sensitive of what are women for go through? But what we need to realize is, in most things, Allah has kept us absolutely the same.
absolutely the same panela Do you know that over time in history, starting from the wives of the Prophet peace be upon him going down to some of the female companions of the Prophet peace be upon him going down to the age of medicine and science and so on, there's been a lot of Muslim women, a lot of Muslim women who have contributed even to the knowledge that has come to us today. The Prophet peace be upon him married Alisha, their loved one, how many narrations are from her? Many narrations are from her she had a memory she memorized them she knew she lived with the Prophet peace be upon him.
And she lived with him for so many years. She came to us to tell us his attitude, his character, his conduct, what to do, what not to do. She issued rulings for the males. They went to hear from her they asked her questions, but she was a female. And with us, we say no, they should be there. We don't want no waste. That's a woman.
A few days ago, I was speaking to a group of volunteers. And I said,
the women generally do a better job than men.
And some of the men were probably a little bit upset. But they are more particular, they will do a better job. in a lot of instances, a lot of the boys are like, Ah, it's okay, you know. So you find people preferring to employ a female? Yes, the environment means to be respectful when Islam comes with a rule to say please dress modestly. It is only trying to protect you from people abusing you. But sometimes we don't understand we think that look, it's my right to be totally naked. And it's not his right to look.
That's what some people think. So that is the other extreme. That is using the term freedom and equality to make you do something that is considered not on a high level of morality, not on a high level of values. We are taught values, all faiths teach values, and morals have a very high standard. So why do we have to drop those standards? Just because someone is saying what you know what, if you're covered, you're not free.
People think freedom means to remove your clothes. That is freedom. And that's the interpretation of freedom in a lot of cultures of today. So go back to the civilization of Islam, where they contributed as women but they were totally respected, absolutely considered.
Mentor mentors, if I can say it that way. Teachers they taught they gave the issue decrees.
But whereas No, doesn't work that way. Yes, they were subjects. They were specialized in. They were specialized in certain topics and subjects. They knew more about that than even the males.
Recently also, I came across a female, very elderly who's passed on now May Allah give her gender and she had a very high chain of puranic recital going back to the Prophet peace be upon him such that the top reciters of the world have been to her and read the Quran for her to confirm that yes, this is correct. And to sign
this certification of is not is not meaning the chain. So she will confirm that. Yes, you read it in the way that I read it from my teacher who heard it from his teacher from his students going back all the way to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam but they went to her they learned from her who were the scholars of Islam, and we look and we say you know women know they're supposed to be back. They're supposed to be this and that no
Not at all.
The contribution of women is great in Islam.
But be careful.
Be very careful of people abusing you in the name of freedom, like I say, in the name of equality abusing you, abusing you. May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us wisdom and foresight, and may He make us truly from among those who appreciate and value both genders.
May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us ease. So this is a matter where no matter how long we speak about it, we will only be introducing the topic because it takes a lifetime.
You know, sometimes you have a lesson, you can listen to your lecturer for 35 minutes for one hour, you go home, and that's it. You've learned something and it's okay you can go for another lesson the next day, when we speak about women, the practicals of it would actually need a lifetime to live by to prove and to continue improving. Because I want to tell you something very strong, very, very powerful. The Prophet peace be upon him was on his deathbed.
He was struggling with the pangs of death, the last moments of his life sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on earth in Madina munawwara.
And you know what happened?
He got up. And he warned those around him to say, I warn you regarding your treatment of women. I warn you regarding your treatment of women, I warn you regarding your treatment of women, when did he say this? He said this at a time when people wouldn't expect him to have said things unless they were so important. So he's warned us Why? Because that was from Allah. Allah knows that perhaps our treatment of women might become such that they feel so disadvantaged?
May Allah help us understand?
My brothers and sisters,
when it comes to the issue
of marriage as well.
A lot of people think that because I'm married to someone, I have such a say that I can, I can instruct I can command and the woman has to do exactly as I say, yes, Subhan Allah, we do have a relationship that needs to be built such that if you have something to say, like what I said previously about children, and about your relationship with other family members, even if it's your brothers, the same way with your spouse, rather than dishing an instruction that will backfire on you learn to convince people with intellect, the women can be more intelligent than you they can be they can understand at time certain things even better than you and I. So it's not got to do with
them being backward not at all they're not. But it's got to do with the gift of Allah.
You know, we sitting in a classroom.
And we had given some of the children
a mathematical sum.
And we noticed the girls did well, I'm sure a lot of you who are teachers educators will confirm that sometimes in the classroom if there are boys and girls first, second, third, fourth position or the top positions generally for girls, am I right?
I can hear quite a bit of a yes. Mashallah. Yes, they work hard. They try to achieve and then you say no, no, no women are thick, thick, thick. That's an insult. That statement is not to be uttered by a movement by a believer because it is not only wrong, it's not only false, but it is an insult. It is abusive, and you are not allowed to say words that hurt others that words, the prophet peace be upon him never uttered hurtful words. And he taught us that if true believe it doesn't matter, that which is abusive and hurtful and vulgar. But people say this, why?
Because they don't understand the instruction of Allah.
She could solve the problem before the boys
and what were the boys doing? Sitting?
Not all of them. I mean, I don't mean to do down some just because we're talking of the others.
But I'd like you to go back Sharla.
To go back tonight,
and to promise yourself
that you will look into the contribution of the companions the female companions of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,
to the civilization to the meaning to the people of the time, as well as women of Islam over the ages.
in the wars
There were women who participated in their own way, with their nursing skills and various other skills in their own way. Somehow Allah, the prophet SAW Selim, let it happen, it did happen. It was very respectful. No one abused them. Today, we have issues with the me to campaign where people are complaining about tough men who have been abusing women and the women are silenced. They're putting one corner you can't even talk, you dare say you dare speak. They're blackmailed. And now that they've gained a voice, they're looked at as Oh, well, that was, by the way, people who are supposed to be looked up to across the globe, and the me to campaign has come through, exposing so much. I'd
like to think a lot of the allegations and accusations have some form of smoke, at least, and many of them are probably true.
You might have a few, but each one of them needs to be taken seriously, needs to be studied, looked into.
Because we don't promote that. The reason why today we are seated here, in this way that we are, is so that we offer the highest level of respect to the opposite sex, the highest level.
I was reading a few days ago about some rules and regulations that
people have imposed upon themselves top level, it was actually on Bloomberg.
And they say
the men have decided
that they're not going to be alone with a female, they're not going to travel alone with a female, they're not going to do this, you know, with a fee, they're not going to go out on dinners alone, and so on. And so, so many things, they decided to kind of, I don't have it in front of me or I would have read it. And I'm thinking to myself,
well, that's Islam, Islam just told you just have a third party there. Or let's do it with respect. You don't need to touch what's not yours. May Allah guide us, strengthen us, Allah forgive us where we have faulted. And may Allah make it easy for us to respect each other people consider it taboo, how come? How come? You know, why does Islam say this and that, why can't you know she just be totally naked, or to be honest with you. That's it. It doesn't mean that freedom is depicted by the removal of clothing. In fact, it would be to dress the way you want
to dress the way you want and talking of sexual freedom.
In which case, those who cover because they want to cover are also dressed the way they want. This is a secular freedom. If the secular freedom teaches you that you dress the way you want, then those who are naked, would enjoy that freedom if they were doing it out of their own will. And those who have covered themselves from head to toe would also be considered part of that freedom, if they're doing it out of their own free will. So in the same way, from a secular perspective, it is wrong to impose on someone to cover it would also be wrong to impose on someone to uncover. But why do some cultures promote that it's okay to stop someone from covering, but it's not okay to stop them from
uncovering, that is hypocrisy that requires a study. It needs to be looked into and addressed. Because we are facing these challenges with so many women who desperately want to cover
Why can't they? Because they've been forced to uncover by some societies and communities. Well, in that case, the society is going backwards. Because the element of force has come back into it. May Allah grant us a balance, we need to be balanced. And I'm sure those who are among the non Muslims who visit this beautiful country or who may be within this country would notice that there are absolutely amazing women who have achieved so much success in their fields in their professions. They've been educated to the highest of levels, and they are amazing in their character. They probably our business women have not and yet they're covered very well. Some of them might even be
covered head to toe. Wow. Mashallah. The interaction helps us to understand each other. The problem is, we suffer ignorance of each other's cultures and each other's norms, and we suffer the lack of genuineness sometimes we are not sincere. So if I come from
a society where everyone
If I look at a society where everyone is covered and begin to think that that is wrong, then I am the one who's backward, I haven't interacted, I haven't learned, I haven't gone there, I haven't mixed, you will hear about people.
Until you mix with them, you won't be able to confirm or negate in a proper way. I remember hearing about Oman, and like I said, almost everything I heard was positive. But when I came here, I found it actually to be more positive than I had heard, even though it was positive.
And it's factual. You feel at home, you feel among your brothers and sisters, you respect and you will be respected.
And it brings me to a point, which is what I mentioned in passing just now the issue of being highly educated.
People believe sometimes wrongly, that you know what women, they are not allowed to be educated, they cannot go to the university, they cannot go to the schools and be educated.
I want to tell you if the environment is good and safe, the sky is the limit.
They can achieve. People have achieved. Khadija been to Hawaii. She was a businesswoman. They were from the companions of the Prophet peace be upon him who were teachers, what did they teach each other the law taught what she learned, where did she graduate from the prophets of Salaam, himself, one might argue, well, that was in the home with this with the spouse of a lot of Southern well, immediately thereafter, they were so happy yet, there is a book that is compiled. In fact, it's volumes of book that is compiled on Mojave, that those women who have carried narrations of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him. And there are so many of them. So many of them, there are
volumes of this book filled with names and their lives and what they did and what they achieved and so on. Who were they, they learned, they were educated, but in an environment that was considered safe, secure, respectful, where they will not be abused.
If you hear that there is a school where a lot of the children
are on drugs, and this is happening across the globe. It's happening across the globe. If you hear there is a school where a lot of the children are on drugs, would you send your boys then?
Would you send your boys there? No. So if I did not send my girls, they don't tell me I'm not educating them. It's because of another factor. What I'm saying is look for a healthy environment that is safe and secure, that our women are not abused, while studying in any way.
So to look for that, and to find it is a mission. Because we are lazy to do that. People say you're not going to school, you're not being educated. There are so many ways today, we have online universities, we have courses online that can be done. And these courses are offered a times by women, we have doctors who are women, who even the men go to SubhanAllah. And sometimes they are better in their
diagnosed diagnosis, and so many other things that they have
excelled in better than the men. Sometimes they are male doctors who have to consult with the female doctors regarding certain sicknesses and ills because they know this woman really knows what she's doing. Am I not correct?
And then you tell me that, you know, you're not allowed, you can't do that. It's wrong. So Allah, where did we get that from? May Allah grant us a deep understanding, may Allah open our doors, like I said, and I knew when I came here, that we cannot do justice to a topic in an hour. But I wanted it to be an introduction to try and encourage us to look deeper into it, because we blame religion and they are people who blame religion, for a lot of things that are not from the religion itself. Remember, initially, I was only supposed to talk of examples from the past of contribution to the Islamic civilization, but I decided to modify it slightly to be able to make it more realistic so
that we can take with us tonight, characteristics that we promise to develop ourselves into May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us good character. May He make us from those who respect one another. And may He really make us from those who understand and value one another.
We want to see marriages where people respect each other. We want to see
both parties contribute you know, if your wife has given birth, it doesn't mean everything now should be done by
this is amazing. This is interesting. Culturally, genuinely, people may look at a woman and say it's her total and absolute responsibility to take care of the kids. But guess what? Islam didn't impose that. But rather if you were to participate
in what your spouse in what your wife was doing when she
was taking care of the children, you would become from among those whom the Prophet peace be upon him speaks about when he says the best from amongst who is the best to his wife. So you say, My beloved wife, Sunday morning, I am going to be making the donuts you can just lay in bed, I'm going to bring it to you here.
And one lucky, I promise you you'll be surprised.
Some of the men with huge beards are quite romantic, Mashallah.
I saw an uncle with a gray beard. He told me I do that every weekend. I said, Mashallah, you know, I almost fell into one of those Instagram filters with the love science in the heart, Mashallah. The eyes, and I was just looking at him. I said,
I'm thinking how fortunate is this man's wife is and he's got a gray beard. And he said, Yeah,
I take the breakfast in the bed every weekend and I'm thinking Oh, Mashallah. Mashallah. Now, I'm not saying it's a must. But all I'm saying is learn to contribute at times. If I don't want to embarrass you by saying, how many of you have changed the nephew of your kids? And you say, Well, me, me, nappy, good. No poo. Ah.
That's what people think. But it reminds me of what we have is the prophet SAW Selim kissed his grandchild. And this man says, What?
Are you crazy? How could you do that? I've got 10 of them. I've never kissed any one of them. The Prophet says
whoever doesn't have mercy will not be shown mercy.
Amazing so when you say who mean you think I'm gonna do this think of Allah crap and habits have mercy on your spouse and your children. Your child will remember you.
Allah subhanahu wa taala make it easy. I crossed exactly the hour. Mark Levine Candela she's the women are giving me another 30 minutes to speak what do you have to say about that? Mashallah,
you know, we were talking about the nappies, and they telling me, that's enough.
So Panama, imagine if I were to raise something else cooking it. Okay, we'll leave that for another time. Just now. He says, Jeff, you need to go you need to go. May Allah subhanho wa Taala Bless you. That was just on a lighter note. May Allah grant us all goodness. And let's move to the second part of tonight's program. I pray that Allah grant us every form of good character. And remember to develop your character you need to work hard. You need to
you need to eradicate the pride that you might have and you need to come down to the proper level of service. Generally we are good to so many people but in our homes we are lacking and that needs to be dealt with akula kolyada sallahu wa salam ala chama