How to Get Rid of Old Habits

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

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Episode Transcript

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Heba Allah Allah He was happy Hajj mine.

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My brothers my sisters.

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Parents play a big role in the habits that are developed by their children.

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When you share ownership will fit Jani Mina Rufina Allah Makana WADA who abou

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a young person who is growing up, develops the habits that his father has inculcated in him, that which his father got him used to.

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This happens in most cases, especially where the father is playing a role in the lives of the children.

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So these habits from a very young age, you won't pick it up, your child might not pick it up, but people around will say, You're just like your father. People will say the way you speak, you sound like your father. Or in the case of the absence of the Father, for one reason or another.

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That child will pick up the habits of those whom the child grew up around. So if you have your mother, sometimes, you might have a brother who's a little bit older, or a relative and Uncle anon someone. And thereafter, what would happen is as you choose the schools for the children, the children begin to pick up dialect accents. Words, be the good words or bad words from the schools, because of interaction. This is why Islam has given utmost importance to the issue of company. Make sure from a young age when you have the ability to choose where your child should be and whom the child will interact with, you ensure you place them in the custodian ship or the Guardian ship, the

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mentorship, the tutelage of someone who you are proud of, in their ways, and habits and so on. Because your child will pick up what it has witnessed at the schools or the madrasahs, the colleges, etc. Sometimes, it's even the neighborhood in our cases, where we frequent the masjid with our children, it's even the Masjid.

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So, these habits

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die hard. Once the child grows older, with bad habits.

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They say old habits die hard, you know, you have a habit since you were young. What happened? I'm now old, I still have the same habit that I had when I was a teenager. Why? Because that's how it is. We are built by Allah created by Allah in a very sophisticated way. So beautiful, that when you get yourself used to something, it becomes second nature. Therefore my brothers, my sisters, yes, I might have started speaking about children. But surely isn't it important for us as adults to ensure that we break bad habits to break a bad habit and effort is required. That effort requires great dedication, you must break it for your own sake and for the sake of those around you, they will

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build those habits. Imagine the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him says the bad that people have picked up from you. You earn a sin for it throughout the generations until the Day of Judgment. Why should I let something bad come from me?

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Today we have the F word for example. Take it out of your system.

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You find a man or a woman generally generally religious, but they're swearing. They have bad words. It doesn't suit you. Nevermind you people are going to pick it up from you those around you. Sometimes those you interact with, even at work or anywhere else that's your circle, they will pick up the bad from you these habits they are not necessary. Develop a good habit. If you notice someone else brushing off on you, the way they talk the actions of their hands, perhaps the way they insult or perhaps praise others. You pick up these habits. If you pick them up, surely you should be bothered about what you are beaming to others. My brothers, my sisters from a young age, I speak to

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the youth

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develop good habits. Push yourself to do good things. Make sure no matter what the adults around you are doing, do the right thing. Be polite with your words, because every word you utter is going to play a big role.

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in shaping the future of your whole life, you are 20 You are a team, you might be 1415 you have a life ahead of you by the will of Allah. If Allah wants.

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There was a brother I met not too long ago, he told me Do you know when we were young, we got married. He says he got married at the age of 25. He says, I still remember clearly when I clocked 50 And I said I've been married for as long as I was not married, he says now I'm 75 I've been married for double the amount of years.

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Imagine double the amount of years that means that Allah has blessed you with your children and so much more you witnessed them getting married, which means you already in a marriage longer than you were single

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can happen. Do you really think that Allah has kept an age for you to get married at which is so perfect the age of majority the age once you can and you are able Yama[???]a Shabaab a man is Tata I mean c'mon ba trifoliata. So watch, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam addresses the youth whoever is able and capable in every single way. You are able financially you are able physically you are able emotionally you are ready to get married Foliat as a word, get married. So that's the age what is that age anywhere between I would say nowadays, between 1825 perhaps up to 30. For example, you need to look you need to make sure you make an effort. Why that age, because by that time, you are

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supposed to have matured, you come out of your adolescent years you are settled a little bit your habits are developed, you are ready to receive a gift of Allah known as a child, you are now going to become a parent.

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If that was not the case, you would have had kids at the age of 10, also 12 also Subhanallah but Allah Almighty knows how he's made us He wants us to develop first so that the responsibility is not only felt but fulfilled.

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My brothers and sisters now I get to us as adults.

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All of us have habits that we need to work on and eradicate that are negative without exception. You might not know what your bad habits are, but they are there. Some of them are minor in the case of those who are refined individuals for the sake of Allah. You have a lot of people mashallah even in our own communities, very refined. Their bad habits are very few but they're they're defined beautiful, they speak well, they have good feelings towards others, they are very helpful, they are genuine. They are people who mashallah but they will always be a battle and the struggle to get rid of that one bad habit that is just not letting go. It's not the bad habit not letting go it's you

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not being strong. Quit that habit. Come on we age. Do you know every time you have a little health matter that bothers you, because of age, it is a reminder from Allah to say, hey, you coming back to us very soon, just develop yourself a little bit more, that bad habit no matter what it is, those habits in secret that we all have minor or major.

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Get rid of them work on them. You're a human.

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There's a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam which makes mention of the struggle of every single person with something that keeps repeating itself in your life. That's negative, it's negative. You don't need it be the bad way you speak and you promise yourself I'm not going to do this again, you end up doing it again. Be it another habit. It might be someone hooked on to pornography, whatever else it may be masturbation, whatever it may be. And you know what you keep on telling yourself I'm not going to do this and you go back in it. Be strong, my brothers, my sisters, break that habit. You don't need it, break it, stop it.

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It can it should it must

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and how to break it. Number one, primarily fulfill your prayers, your five daily prayers on time. Start with that. Now you might say you know what, I have a habit. I'm reading it the other way around. I have a habit of missing some of my prayers as long as they're Allah. I have a habit of oversleeping Fajr Well, what did I say earlier to build a good habit you are going to need dedication. You're going to need to be pushing yourself hard get up force yourself make sure look at those who now frequent the gym for example, when they started it was a mission. Once they got used to it they cannot let go. They cannot let go but when they started for the first almost 40 days you

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must be dedicated and after that make sure you don't allow yourself the free time to think of the bad the free time to think of or to miss the bad habit you had because it gives you temporary pleasure. It's not long term when you miss a Salah Temporarily you might lay my sleep was nice, but then you start realizing hey, what did I just do? Start with Allah I'm a Muslim.

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I don't want to name the bad habits. It's me

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harrassing but somehow, some of us are struggling with these habits for a long time, cut it, stop it, it's going to come to destroy you, it will come to bite you. You wouldn't like to die in that condition, may Allah protect all of us. So what do you do? Be strong? Push yourself not to do it. Now where does the 40 days come from? Let me explain.

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Allah Almighty creates us in stages when you were a little cell in the womb of your mother.

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40 days later, there was a different stage another 40 days later, a different stage, another 40 days later, the soul was blown. So initially you are just a clot of blood, then you're a piece of flesh then this bone Subhanallah and the organs and everything develops and another stage then the soul is blown and then you grow and you're born 40 days stages. So it is said that that is indicative of the number of days required to break a habit solid. That's why if you come for Salah with Gemma to Kabira to Lola, which means the beginning of that Salah you make sure you are here five minutes early, you and you have ensured that for 40 days you didn't miss even one it becomes easier for you.

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Second Nature I will be at the masjid I'm going to fulfill the prayer. Today we talk about let alone the masjid just fulfilling the five daily prayer. Because there are three things one is to go to the masjid the other is at least to fulfill them and the third is a person who is not even bothered.

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So at least get to the stage where you are fulfilling the five daily prayers Come What May but you will have to push yourself you must once you do that, you become more conscious of Allah. Sometimes you have a person they have a very bad habit they know it. They are struggling with a habit that they grew old world and they are they fulfill five daily prayers you won't believe that this person has this bad habit they won't. They themselves are embarrassed of it but they keep going back they keep going back they keep going back you know what you need to be strong enough thereafter to say I don't want to do it. So what's the next stage?

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The next level once your salah is in order make sure you have good company people you talk to who remind you of Allah people in your circle whom you when you are with them. You actually feel so good and you are not reminded of sliding back into that bad habit of yours karate chop it man Subhanallah you can do it. You must do it. You will do it. Yes, you are a human. So whenever you've slipped back into the habit for some reason quickly come out, recollect promise Allah, I'm not going to do it again. If you fall again, again, come out and promise Allah you're not going to do it again. When you come out of it 10 times 20 times you know what will happen? The gap between you sliding into

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that habit becomes bigger, which is a big achievement. A person hooked onto pornography for example, may Allah protect all of us. It damages the mind it damages the system, it reduces a person to rubble and beyond. May Allah forgive us.

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If you have managed to protect yourself from that. You're a real real man. You're a real woman, real men. Protect yourself from that. If you slip quickly come out and say no, never again. Stop it. Chop it halfway as soon as you remember say no captus What did I gain from it? Zero? Nothing. It's actually harmful. And then when you come out of it, do not allow another trap of Shaitan to overtake you What is it shaytaan makes you lose hope. It makes you think I did something so bad now Allah won't forgive me It's too bad, to to to but there is nothing for Allah that He will not forgive No, He will forgive you Come What May all you need to do repent again. You fell back repent again. So

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what will happen is the gap will increase and the gap increases mashallah A day will come when a long time will pass and you still didn't go into it.

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The same can be said about smokers sorry sorry to say this, but the same can be said with that. You want to quit a habit they say old habits die hard. I promise you. If there is dedication, determination, you can quit it in right now. You will never ever go back.

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You love Allah. You want to die a good death that happened? Chop it cut it. I've said this a few times already today to chop into cut because it's a fact. If you really want to cut something you can so don't pity yourself and say no, you know, I'll try I'm still okay. It's a no as we get older. Number one, the bones ache Allah saying, Hey, you coming back to us. Number two, your vision starts blurring, you're coming back to us. Number three, another bone aches, some organ is not functioning at its optimum. That's Allah telling you it's about time I'm giving you a gift to remind you, you're coming back to us. All you need to do is improve. If you pass away at a slightly older age where

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you've already developed yourself and come

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closer to Allah, it's a gift of Allah. It's a gift. A person who passes away after a terminal illness is much more gifted than someone suddenly was just gone because why they had the time to repent they had the time to turn to Allah and guess what if they didn't haha they have none to blame besides themselves that's a loss while I'm no I'm MIPCOM, my attacker movie him and that come wotja kumin Nabi, Allah says, didn't we give you life long enough for the one who wanted to take heed to take heed? And didn't we send you the Warner, the Warner, obviously the Warner primarily Nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to warn us also. But beyond that the MUFA serine have said

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in this verse, the Warner is just your gray hair, your gray hair, you start seeing nowadays, people get gray hair at 1920. It's like Allah saying, hey, the environment is so bad. Come on. 1920 start waking up a little bit. And then Subhanallah you have more gray Allah saying, You know what, that's a sign you're growing older, not younger. If anything you must develop, you don't get worse. Some people as they develop, they become worse. Why? Because they saw money. They saw authority, they saw a little bit of power. After they were a little bit older. They got an opportunity now to say, let me do what I want. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Don't do what you want. Do what Allah wants.

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Yes, enjoy yourself. No one is saying no, you are on earth to worship Allah. But Allah says you're allowed to enjoy what didn't what is Hana. That's it. Whatever you want you can have for as long as it is not displeasing to Allah. That's it. So this is what it is. As you grow older, Allah gives you imagine if everyone was extremely wealthy, at the age of 12, they would be a disaster because when you struggling with your hormones, and your emotions and everything, 1314 there'll be chaos on Earth, the teenagers, you know how they are, they feel like they are the kings and the bosses of the globe. They can do anything and everything. We've all passed through that stage, when we thought it

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was us and only about us and nobody else until you quickly realize you are just one you are just a number your life my child has not even started, it has not even begun. So calm down. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, and you're only 14, your life hasn't started yet. The pins are only beginning to come up and right because that's what's happening. Let's come down. My brothers, my sisters, Old habits die hard. That's the saying. And it's true. But as Muslims, dedicate yourselves to Allah,

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certain count your habits. Look at your bad habits. Look at what's bogging you down. A small thing hidden between you and Allah. Let's work on it. We all need to I need to you need to, like I say, the level of it differs from person to person. I don't need to know your mess. That's the beauty of Islam. You don't know my mess. I don't know your mess. But there is a mess both ways. Remember this, there is a mess.

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Islam is unlike others who might ask you to come to the religious man, supposedly, and confess to him what you did know Allah says, Don't even announce it. Don't even talk about it to someone else. Because when you start spreading the things you are involved in, you normalize it. Imagine you tell everyone Hey, I do this, I do this. I do this. And the guy says, Well, I do this and this and this as well. And everyone starts hearing this is what's happening. They say, Well, if everyone's doing it, let's do it. What did you do you normalized haram. That's what's going on today on the globe. Everyone wants to advertise. They say I know I'm a Muslim, but

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you know what I drink or you know what I do this or I a little bit of weed is okay. And they start normalizing things that the religion prohibits. Why because you advertised it. So the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam says,

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people will continue to remain upon goodness and earn the Mercy of Allah for as long as they don't commit open sin, and they're not proud about their sins. You committed the sin, the first thing you need to do admit it's a sin. Allahu Akbar, admit this is sinful. And then keep it hidden. Respect yourself. Keep it hidden. Then turn to Allah ask Allah. Oh Allah, I regret what I did. I shouldn't have done this. I seek your forgiveness. I won't do it again. Once you say that sincerely what Allah He, it is wiped out. Now. shaytan comes and makes you say, it can't have been that easy. You're not forgiven. You can just be forgiven like that. Allah says, Don't doubt My Mercy. Do not doubt My

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Mercy. You're a believer. You sought forgiveness. It's forgiven. But now improve yourself change make a change. So let's watch our tongues to begin with my brothers. My sisters, let's talk about it. That's why I've decided to address it here today. Let's talk about it. What's your tongues?

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People are picking up habits from you and we need to work on our own bad habits.

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More than that, be polite, respectful, build the habit of Salah, build the habit of reading the Quran every day, a small portion, you might say it's hard start 40 days will pass and you'll see you get used to it. Mashallah. And then don't slide back. Like I said, and I promise you, it's an example many of you would know, like I said about the gym. When you start and you've actually improved your health a little bit and you go on a regular basis, you will feel so so let down if you haven't gone and you feel a need to get back into this man, I was feeling so good when I if that's the case with your physical health, don't you reckon spiritual health is more important? Don't you

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think that far more important than your physical health is your connection with Allah? Come on, I'm not belittling this. But I'm definitely telling you to prioritize. That's what it is. If someone is unhealthy, but they are so good in their relation with Allah, they stand a chance of success in the dunya and akhira. But if someone is extremely healthy, but they have a distance between them and Allah, we will tap them on their shoulders and say, my brother, my sister, come, let's work together towards Allah. May Allah Almighty help us and elevate our status. My brothers and sisters Alhamdulillah we've been blessed in so many ways.

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Right now, as we speak, there are brothers and sisters of ours across the globe who are struggling, spare a moment to make a prayer for them, spare a moment perhaps to reach out to them in one way or another. I sit and I watch what's going on. With the floods that are happening in parts of the globe, Pakistan, some parts of Afghanistan, some parts of India, etc. Really, it brings tears to the eyes. These are our brothers and sisters. And in fact, even around us, there are people living not too far from us who are also struggling, we reach out to them as well. Minimum is a prayer. Minimum is a word of hope to them to say Allah is with you, Allah will open your doors, Allah will grant you

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a word of hope or word of goodness, you don't ever just come to someone who suffered the loss and say that was the punishment of Allah for you and you walk away La hawla wala Quwata illa biLlah it's a moment of turning to Allah. That's not what you say. Even if it was the punishment, you can bring them closer to Allah in a beautiful way. But if by giving them a word of hope, to say, Don't worry, what's lost, let's build what is to come, not everything is gone. Let's build what is to come. And in that way, guess what happens and I will end on this note. In that way, Allah will grant you protection from similar calamity number one, number two is Allah will help you in whatever way he

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wills and wishes when you yourself fall into some sort of calamity, because you were concerned about the Ummah May Allah Almighty help us in every way Akula Kohli ha ha SallAllahu wasallam Allah Allah Nabina Muhammad