Mufti Menk – Finding Healing & Hope – Overcoming Pain, Doubt, and Despair

Mufti Menk
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the importance of helping others' healing, avoiding harm to others, and protecting oneself from harms. They emphasize the need for forgiveness and a commitment to doing good deeds. The umpires' potential for healing and healing is emphasized, as well as the importance of helping others and finding the right words to use when speaking to loved ones. Disorders and pandemic-related struggles are also discussed, and attendees are encouraged to participate in a series of ten sentences to encourage their spouse to say at least 10 words.
AI: Transcript ©
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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah he was Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah heywire Allah Allah He was happy here Jermaine.

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When Abdullah aid says healing the Ummah it means it.

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I've been with Abdullah aid for many years now and I visited quite a few countries and seen the delivery of the aid

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your contributions tonight, you've already contributed by merely purchasing a ticket. So I want to thank you for that. And I want to let you know that Abdullah aid is serious when it comes to delivering your aid to the rest of the Ummah that is bleeding.

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I've been to areas where I've witnessed the bleeding of members of the Ummah and I've been in pain but comforted by the fact that I know you would reach out because you feel part of the ummah. So when we say healing the Ummah, who exactly is the Ummah, the Ummah, of those who share a statement and believe it, that statement is La ilaha illallah who Muhammad Rasool Allah, there is none worthy of worship besides Allah, and Muhammad peace be upon him is his messenger.

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The minute a person declares this, they become a member of the Ummah, my brother, my sister, the feeling for entire humanity is there. In fact, the feeling for all the creatures of Allah is there, including the birds, the dogs, the pigs, the cows, the sheep, the goats, the insects, the ants, we definitely are taught to be kind to all animals. More than animals were taught to be kind to humankind. When the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him tells us that whoever doesn't show mercy will not be shown mercy. And in another narration, Allah Almighty is letting us know through the blessings lips of Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that those who have mercy upon those on

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earth, the one in the skies or in the heaven will have mercy on them. To be honest with you, it shows us how important it is to help heal everyone. But members of the Ummah hold a special place in the hearts of fellow members of the ummah.

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So when I see my brothers and sisters in pain in Palestine, I am in pain. I don't believe that there is a Muslim, who is not in pain to witness the genocide, the atrocities, the unacceptable acts of aggression perpetrated against our brothers and sisters, in Palestine, I don't believe there is a Muslim who is not hurt by that. I don't believe there is a Muslim who does not feel that something needs to be done. But each one of us has a different capacity. Rather than playing a blame game that shaytan wants us to play. By looking at each other and thinking this guy could have done more and should have done more without realizing the other fingers are actually pointing back at you to say

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you do what you can and leave the others to do what they can based on their understanding their capacity, and so on. If you want to encourage others, then do so that's the reason why we have tonight.

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But don't point fingers in a way that you are creating a bigger problem in the OMA, I know that every single one of you cares for Palestine. And I know that you don't only care for Palestine but rather for a list of names of countries that sometimes is exhausting. And sometimes places within countries that are generally peaceful without a problem, people would suspect but there are pockets of people within nations that are sometimes advanced. Even within the UK, there are people struggling and suffering as I'm speaking and might not right. What are you doing for them? The reality is I may not be able to do that much for them. But I have two guarantees. The first

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guarantee is I will not harm them, which means the pain they have is not going to come from me pause for a moment before we get to the second guarantee and ask yourself Do I cause pain in the life of any

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one else? If the answer is yes, then you have a lot of work to do. Do you cause pain to someone else? Perhaps someone living with you, someone working with you, someone, above you, below you in authority in financial standing, or whatever else it may be? Do you hurt people? Do you cause pain? Well, I can tell you what if you cause pain, pain shall be caused upon you or to you as well. It will come back at some point, it's the Promise of Allah, you do and it shall be done. If not today, then after 10 years. So what's the way out? Because I've given the punch. And I'm expecting a punch after 10 years, perhaps a bigger punch. But now I regret before being punched. What should I do?

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Well, I need to make amends by seeking the forgiveness of Allah by reaching out to the person if I can and saying I'm sorry. And sometimes if you're too shy to say, I'm sorry for what I did, you can just say Salam aleikum, you know, we're going for hamre please forgive me for everything I said, or did that may have hurt you or caused pain and so it's a general blanket seeking of forgiveness, it could happen. And sometimes you may not have access to that person. And that's the worst type of harm you could have inflicted another when you don't even have access to the person you barely know them in the age of social media. This is happening a lot where you said something you retweeted

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something you reposted something that was hurtful and harmful against a person you don't even know you may never ever know in your life, how are you going to make amends with that type of a person when you don't even know them, you don't have access to them, but you have a debt that you owe them. Basically, that's very dangerous. So in this day and age, more and more people are losing their good deeds or swerving towards the devil, just by simply tapping on their phone sitting at night, sometimes in the comfort of their bedding half asleep, and they busy retreating, saying things to crack a joke about someone that's going to hurt them so badly, or to pass negative information. When

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that happens, you may have to resort to praying for them, asking Allah to forgive them, asking Allah to bless them, give a charity on their behalf, do a good deed maybe on their behalf. And ask Allah to forgive you as well for what you did, and then undo what you did to the best of your capacity. Best of your capacity means What exactly did you say? What exactly did you do? Okay, you don't have access to them. So are you prepared to say good things? Are you prepared to clarify in public or at least start reversing what you did, in that particular instance, you would be from among those who is conscious about not inflicting pain on others? What's the point of talking about the pain of the

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OMA in order to help it heal when you are the one causing pain to your own daughter in law, to your mother in law, perhaps and mothers in law are lovely people by the way, it's just that sometimes there's a stigma attached to that name. And therefore, as soon as we enter the territory, where we now have a mother in law, we have public enemy number one, just by virtue of them having the title it's not fair. I know some amazing mothers in law by the way, I'm a father in law. So you can imagine, you can imagine, it doesn't make people bad, but do you inflict pain on them by what you say by what you do, or the other way around or your own children or your parents or whoever else it

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may be? Today is the day you want to heal the Ummah, stop the pain, the ummah will heal, it will begin to heal by the will of Allah subhanahu wa taala. So that was the first guarantee you have is I will not harm you.

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The first guarantee is, I'm not going to be able to harm meaning you won't be harmed from me, not me. The second guarantee is my brother, my sister, no matter who you are, and where you are, I will try my best to assist you. Given the capacity Allah has given me I'm going to try my best to help you. That's my guarantee.

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You're a random person to me, you're a member of the Ummah I care for you. You might we might not talk to each other, you might pass I might pass, but I tell you if something happens to you, and I know about it, and I'm present or even in my absence, I've heard about it Wallah, he's gonna pain me number one. Number two, I will be the first one to rush to your assistance by the will of Allah because you're closer to me, than the rest of humankind. Although if it happened to any human being, I would still be hurt and I would still try to reach out but you're even closer. Like your own child when something happens to them. You reach out to them more than you would

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other people's children.

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May Allah help us. So these are some of the stepping stones towards seeing the Ummah heal. I told you the amount of hours of uttered the statement

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And then the Ummah, what happens is shaytan comes to us and makes us think that you know what this person believes slightly differently from you, this person has a share who's like this, and that person goes to that mosque, and this person goes to this masjid and that person says in that halacha so therefore we are different and we they, they create segments in order to fragment us to the degree that the Ummah can never heal. Wallahi if we were united, our brothers and sisters would never have suffered in Palestine the way they did, it wouldn't have happened. If we were all together as an ummah, the mere fact that we have 2 billion people, nobody would dare touch anyone,

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but the fact that they know we are fragmented, or they make it their business to fragment us. In some cases, they know these people are weak, slapped one the others will just look on and say stuff Rula if they care, and Alhamdulillah if they don't,

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how many times have people in the Ummah been hurt? And because you didn't get along with them, you said mashallah, they deserved it. Am I right?

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Am I right?

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See, the yeses came from you. I thought you'd have kept quiet even the second time. But the fact that you said yes, you know what I'm going on about, we need to heal, we need to help heal. It's okay. Even though I have a difference with you. I'm not going to pray for your downfall. Or I'm not going to pray when you get hurt and thank Allah but rather I'm going to say Oh Allah, I have a difference. Help squash it help. eradicate it helped bring us closer together, help resolve our matters, that's healing the ummah. Do you think healing the trauma is when I don't get along with you? I'm excited about you being hurt by a third party that will not heal the trauma, because then

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when you're hurt to the same third party will also be excited. How did you heal the Ummah, at Abdullah aid, we don't differentiate between the people, we help anyone and everyone who needs that help. If they need the help, we are there. If we can, and we know about it, we're able and capable, and it's within whatever we've set out to do. It is done by the will of Allah within our capacity. And this reflects the true believer who is supposed to be concerned about solving problems, helping people assisting them, he'll give them a better life, A Better bedding, a better home a better place to live, and to eat, and to educate themselves, provide them with better opportunities for their

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future. That's what Abdullah aid is all about. We want to see the future brighter than what we are witnessing today. We feel embarrassed that there are people who are struggling in our midst, and there is very limited things that we can do for them. That's embarrassing. Unfortunately, we're in the situation. I would love to see an end to every war there is. But some might say that's just fantasy. I'm going to work towards it. I'm going to keep reminding people, you don't have to slap someone because you disagree with them. Be just be fair.

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You have a difference. You may want to step back a little bit, but wish well for your brothers and sisters. Where's your heart? Where is your heart? I don't want to associate with you anymore because you've beaten me more than once. But low key I'm going to pray that Allah bless you, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. That's amazing. Are you feeling what I'm feeling? I've seen people make mistakes online public figures. And I've seen chefs and scholars say, that's the end, cancel them. It's over. That's it, they cannot come up again. And I think differently. I'm a father.

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I'm a grandfather to I think differently. And I think if this was my child, is it fair to cancel them because of two mistakes they've made? Let me reach out to this person and see what might have bothered them. Perhaps Let me see how best I can bring them back on track. Wouldn't you like that for your child? If your child were on drugs, May Allah help all the children who are on drugs and the adults to come out of these bad habits? Let the Ummah heal. Make dua for them. You see a child on drugs, You're quick to pass bad comments about the children of others who have an addiction, not realizing that if it were to happen to you, you will deal with it differently. And you would really

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not want others to comment negatively about your child who's addicted to something terrible. So can't you treat them like your own children, that's when the ummah will heal. So when I see someone I'd like to work with them, you have your own child, wouldn't you like people to give your child a chance? Wouldn't you like to take your child from one place to another to see how best they can be re introduced or integrated back into society and community and attend the masjid and attend the talks and and be a a beautiful member of the community who will contribute positively to their families communities and build the ark era in the process. We'd like to see that so go easy on

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others when you don't like

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Someone you can step back. You can step back, I don't need to associate with you. But guess what? I won't let that hate get to the degree that you've let it get to. You're not going to see me making public refutations about X, Y and Zed because you know what? It's okay. I won't let the hate As tempting as it is, get to the level that yours got to because you're a member of the Ummah, May Allah help the Ummah heal.

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I want to have a heart made of gold where I can pray. That doesn't mean I'm not going to protect myself from harm. No, the Hadith says a true believer is never bitten from the same source. Twice. Never. What that means and button, I'm going to step back, I'm going to put a protection mechanism. I don't want to talk to you actually. But I'm not going to harm you. I just want to talk to you say if you're irritated by me not talking to you, thank Allah, I haven't raised my hands to say oh Allah destroy them. You know what happens in the small things that we say, oh, Allah cater for Jude and say, Allah, break him, destroy them, finish them, and you won't believe it. It's possible at the

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same moment, the same person is making the same dua at the same time to the same Lord against you. In almost similar words.

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How is the OMA going to heal? If Allah had to give both of those people their dua, what's going to happen to us? I'm finished, they're finished. But Allah knows in His mercy, He only does what is fair and just someone asked me, you know, my mother curses me a lot. My beloved mothers and fathers don't ever curse your children, no matter what. Don't ever curse your children, even jokingly don't ever when they do something that upsets you don't curse them because if that's a moment of acceptance of dua, you're dead.

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You rather say a good dua, you're a mother, you're a father, you're a relative Don't say a bad to your son or your daughter did something really nasty say Oh Allah, soften their heart, bring them back, let them understand let them realize it might take four years for them to realize but they'll come back after four years because of a dua you made four years back.

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But if you say compare Lana tau as they always say, what's that for? In order to do that means you know you're cursed me the curse of Allah be on you. Why did you say that? You're cursing your own child? Do you know that your DUA has value in the eyes of Allah. So anyway, the person asked that my mother curses me a lot. And I said, You know what Allah says in the Quran, Allah He can macro say you Ellerbee li

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the evil plot is not deserved by anyone besides who, those who truly deserve it. If you don't deserve that curse, it's not going to come to you. It won't affect you. Even if it's your mother or your father. It won't, but it will bother them. Unfortunately, not you. So don't allow that to happen. We are trying to heal the OMA Are you noticing how we're speaking International, but we starting with the solution from our own hearts. Because if you don't have that heart, you're going to see the people suffering Palestine and you're gonna say, Oh, those people are Sunnis, and they belong to a certain sect and therefore we don't need to help them. What did you just say? What did

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you just say? The Ummah needs to heal? Are they not members of the Ummah, are they not part of la ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasool Allah, I'm not downplaying differences of opinion we have we will always have them we will study we will talk about it we will discuss we will provide evidence we will learn we will change wherever change is needed, but bottom line, they are members of the Ummah, they are part of the Ummah, I promise you they are if someone tells you otherwise they've brainwashed you,

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they are part of the ummah. That doesn't mean I agree with everything they did. They have entered the door. Now when we've entered the door, known as I am a part of the Ummah, we have differences, we know the differences, but you can't take them out and say you're no longer part of the Ummah just because of this difference and you have this shape and that shape. Be careful because these are some of the traps of shaytan we shade on once us to be fragmented because Allah says we're Allah Turner's deaf Shannon, whatever berry Hong Kong, do not dispute amongst yourselves because you will be unsuccessful and you will lose your might. That hubba Realcomm you re Re is referring to the mind

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the power, your mind will be gone because you're disputing fighting with one another. The Quran says that so what's the solution immediately after that Allah says was Biru in Allah hummus sobbing, be patient Allah is with those who bear patients. Be patient go easy, go easy, go easy on yourself. When when you've done something wrong and you repent to Allah be convinced he's forgiven you. Shaytan strap is he tries to say no, he didn't forgive you and you start thinking what I did was so evil. I don't think Allah is going to forgive me

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All those thoughts are the devil's plot.

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You committed a sin. I don't care what it is. You asked Allah's forgiveness. That is what's of importance. When you ask Allah's forgiveness, be convinced in your heart, Allah has forgiven me. Let me move on Allahu Akbar, you're a human. I draw comfort by the fact that Adam Alayhis Salam,

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the first of our species was told by Allah not to do certain things a few days ago, my son asks me, you know what? Someone asks, what's the reason that Allah created pigs? If pigs are haram?

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Good question, right? Why is it haram? I said, Allah wants to test you addition and subtraction. That's a simple answer. But you know what, he will do things that okay, you can have this and you cannot have this. He wants to see. Are you going to do this? For my sake? And are you going to abstain from this for my sake. So he's testing you both sides? When you go to a mathematics test, they're not going to teach you they're not going to ask you addition, addition only but division and subtraction is part of mathematics. Why do they teach you subtraction? If you're, you know, if you're learning mathematics, well, because you need to know it. Same applies. When Allah says

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something, do something, you get a reward for doing it. He wants to reward you for not doing something so he tells you, right, I'm going to make certain things and I'm going to tell you don't do this. They're going to be there. You achieve a different Joy spiritually, when you abstain from things Allah has told you not to do, there is a different type of a blessing that you achieve growth of a different nature altogether. So Subhan Allah Allah has made the pig not for you to be unkind or abusive or hurtful towards the pig, but rather to abstain respectfully, I'm not going to associate and eat the meat of and so on, but I'm not just going to go around and throw stones at pigs, not at

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all. I'm not going to be unkind to the pigs, not at all. So Allah Almighty wants us to do certain things and not to do certain things. That's the test. May Allah Almighty grant us goodness in our lives. Many times we have instances where there are things that we are not supposed to do that dangle right in front of us. So tempting. Allah says, I'll reward you when you don't do these things. So shaytan when you seek forgiveness has a job. His job is to make you lose hope in the Mercy of Allah, Allah tells you don't lose hope in my mercy. I forgiven you. So what do you do you move on? I was saying Adam Alayhis Salam, Allah told him not to eat from the tree.

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Anything else Allah told him not to do?

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Anyone knows anything else that Allah told Adam Alayhis Salam and Hawa not to do?

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Anyone? That was the main thing, and perhaps the only thing Allah says, do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, but don't eat from don't go close to the street. What did he do?

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What did he do?

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He ate from the tree. The only thing Allah told him not to do that's what he did.

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We are the children of the same man.

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We follow. Allah tells you not to do things, you may end up doing it. Why did Allah choose that Adam Alayhis Salam would do the only thing that he was told not to do? Is Allah wanted to teach us a lesson that as soon as he did it, he regretted it, he realized shaytans trap, he sought forgiveness. And Allah says, I forgave him, I forgave him.

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So Allah says Now all of you, the children, which means all of us here, we want you to know that this is how we operate. If you end up doing something that's displeasing to Allah regretted seek the forgiveness turn back to Allah understand the plight of the devil we forgive you That's it gone wiped out. Don't lose hope and inshallah we grow in this way. You know, I could go on and on and on.

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just in case brother Omar, just in case the internet still doesn't work. I'm going to steal a little bit of the time of the quiz is it okay

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you show mashallah I hear a loud yes on the right.

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The quizzes a very nice thing. It's really amazing. I enjoy it all the time. Should I still carry on?

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Okay, all right, there we go. So I tell you what, my beloved sisters and my brothers we can we can not just for Palestine like I said, but there are people struggling in Sudan right now. Unbelievable what's happening there warfare avoidable but unfortunately it's happened. It's taken Sudan to the stone age if you know Sudanese are embarrassed because they don't even believe what's going on in their own country. The same thing applies in so many other countries. We have then people who are struggling with disaster up

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On disasters so much more. There are people who are struggling in India, Indonesia, people struggling in Afghanistan and in Pakistan in parts of different countries in Morocco, still the people who are affected by the earthquakes and the floods in Libya, some places we have no access to. Some places we have no access to. It's either too dangerous or it's disallowed for us to work in those places we won't be able to do it will expect others who are able to do it to do it on our on our behalf as an ummah.

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But to be honest with you, wherever we can we reach out to them.

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Wouldn't you like to reach out to those who live with you?

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Goodness, a good word. I would invite you to a beautiful invitation that will change your life.

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This is an invitation to tell you my sister's my brother's promise that you're going to say at least 10 good sentences

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to those whom you live with every day.

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Promise that you're going to say 10 Good sentences. Wow. Mashallah, you looking so good today? Who did you say to your own spouse, they'll probably say you've never said that to me in 20 years. What happened today?

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They're waiting to heal. Those are statements that will help them heal. It will bring your family together, it will bring your relative when we have negatives, we always say it. When we have positives we keep it in. We won't help the UMA hill

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we make the promise.

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Sisters have all said yes. The brothers are just looking at me. We make the promise.

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How many good sentences 10 Okay, did you hear that? Inshallah 10 good sentences everyday to those whom you live with whoever they may be your children, your in laws, your outlaws wherever they are, inshallah you say some good words to them good sentences. You know, mashallah, I'm so happy. You know, and so whatever, you know what it is right? And the I love yous and so on, need to go to the right people, by the way.

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Because if you're living in with you're

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not so hello person, then you need to know that those sentences don't really apply.

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But nonetheless, what I want to say to you is, if it's not 10, at least start with a few. By the will of Allah, it will change your life. I guarantee you why, in some of the therapy sessions that I have, I've always suggested this type of thing. And I tried to follow up later, say, did you do this? And when they ultimately say, Well, now I started it since you asked me three, four times, initially, they don't like to start it. Every single one of them says it has had a positive impact. Some say unimaginable, unbelievable, and some admit that at least it's positive. You have to say a good thing come on, who are they going to hear it from your children, some fathers are such that

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they've never told their daughters mashallah, you looking so beautiful, you know that I love just looking at you men, they've never said it to their daughters. And when I told one elderly man, you've got to say this is no not my generation. I said but Allah has kept you alive in this generation. So you got to do it for them. Because uncle if they don't hear you saying it, you know what the similar uncle next door saying it every day.

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May Allah forgive us. So inshallah we help the Ummah heal by starting with our families, and then it grows, you don't realize that today,

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you've actually helped people in need in places, you may not know

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how, by merely buying a ticket to come to this venue, I know you're probably going to have food and whatever else that might even go beyond that amount you may have given or just about them. Nonetheless, you've supported the course, in a huge way. So I want to thank you for attending this evening. And for literally sit sitting with us. And for listening, checking, you can pass the word to others and you can also reach into your pockets or your phones. You know, nowadays we no longer have pockets, we have everything on the phone, and you can give a little bit to our brothers and sisters who are struggling, it will also help them heal. And with that healing, we've spoken about a

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few other pointers that would also allow the Ummah to heal by the will of Allah. Remember, your heart is a human heart. It's not an angel. You're a human, you have feelings, you feel hurt at times, you feel let down at times, but try to empower others. I get the energy whenever I have to stand up to empower others. I forget about everything happening to me and that's the reason why I think I'm quite a forgiving person. Who wouldn't mind someone messaged me say please forgive me. I said something bad about you? I replied saying forgiven. And by the way, if you ever need to

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say something bad about me again, you can do it.

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They must have been shocked. Why? Because you know what? You don't butter my bread in the least nothing of what you say or do even bothers me. It actually would bother you, not me, I know what I'm doing. And I know why I'm doing it. Your validation or the lack of it doesn't really bother me. So don't worry, you might not have that particular level because I'm a public figure, I get bashed, bashed, and I look at it and I feel sorry for the people doing the bashing, because if they knew what we're busy doing while they're bashing, they would actually be jealous. So it's okay. But you're not public figures and some some of you might be but most of you are probably not public

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figures. So you don't know how it feels to be bashed. And you don't know how it feels sometimes to have people say very negative things about you, the little that you might be going through trust me, it's very forgivable. You just have to find it in your heart. It's okay. If it's really bothering you and your life might be a little bit different. But don't ever deal with it in a way that will cause more pain in the situation. May Allah Almighty grant us a good healing. I spoken for half an hour of added about 10 minutes Masha Allah, may Allah Almighty bless you all I've really enjoyed this evening so much. I think it's the warmth of the company, the brothers doing the sound, I want

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to thank you, the brothers of the venue, I really want to appreciate it. Remember, if the if the Internet didn't work in this particular place, there must be a good reason for it. I'm not going to add more pain to my heart to start thinking negative things. But I am going to say hamdulillah at least we got a few more minutes squeezed in of my talk is that Kamala Farah Kudo, Kohli had Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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