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Dealing with differences

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

Motivational Evening, 26 Dec 2019

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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Marcia, Linda McMahon Rahim al hamdu Lillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allah Allah He was happy.

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We always praise Allah subhanho wa Taala we send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his household, his companions. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to bless them to bless every one of us, to grant us every form of goodness and to open our doors and the doors of this microphone. I mean,

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it was right I don't know why we adjusted it Habibi, just beautiful, beautiful just like this venue. Mashallah.

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My brothers, my sisters right at the beginning, the first of our species was Adam alayhi salatu, salam, Allah subhanho wa Taala created him in a specific way. And Allah subhanho wa Taala. Thereafter created Eve all Hawa alayhi salatu was Salam. We say Adam and Eve in the English language, we say Adam and Hawa in the Arabic language, I lay him as salaam May peace be upon them, my mother, my father, your mother, your father, meaning the first of our kind.

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If we look at what Allah blessed them with, after some time, Allah gave them children. So whenever we talk about children, we need to pray for those who don't have children. May Allah bless you with children say I mean, and then we must pray for those who do have children that Allah make those children the coolness of their eyes. So we say, may Allah make your children the coolness of Your eyes say I mean again.

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And we need to say to those who are not yet married, that if you said a mean to the dua, then said, may Allah bless you with children, then you have actually included in your doula that may Allah bless you with a spouse so you must always say I mean loudly It's okay. It's an all inclusive you know, I once gave the example of

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Can I tell you what

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can I tell you?

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A shampoo your hair Subhanallah you have the two in one right?

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You know, you have the conditioner and the shampoo then you have the two in one. One law he I promise you I saw a three in one. Have you guys seen it? You've seen it. Masha, Allah, Allah subhanho wa Taala bless all of us. I mean, so when Allah bless them with children, obviously they were very close to Allah subhanho wa Taala Hannah and Adam and Hawa, alayhi wa sallam, they had interaction with Allah subhanho wa Taala. He is the He is the one who told them what to do what not to do. There was only one thing that was prohibited at that time, and they felt

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there was only one thing that they were told, don't do this. It was a sin. There was no other sin that was the sin. And guess what they fell. They fell not out of defiance of their makeup, but out of their human weakness and the trap of the devil who kept telling them go for it. It's a good thing. Don't worry, it's a good thing. You know what the plan says? The Koran says the devil promised them two things. One is you know, you will have a good long healthy life who doesn't want a good long healthy life? We all do. May Allah bless us with a good long healthy life please say I mean Mashallah, everyone wants it right. Okay, okay. I get it. Well, you better eat healthy if you

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want a healthy life. Mashallah, you better you better exercise thoroughly Mashallah, whether it's at the gym or elsewhere, but you better make sure that you're fit. May Allah subhanho wa Taala truly grant us goodness, but we want long and healthy lives that are filled with the obedience of the Almighty. The second thing that the devil says to Adam, is you know what, you will have so much you will own so much it will never deplete Imagine if I were to tell you that you're going to have so much of money that no matter how much you withdraw from your accounts, it will never ever deplete you would be excited to say how do I get it? They told us a while back Bitcoin we built our fingers

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didn't we? You know why they call it Bitcoin a bit all of us so panela I was bitten to by the way

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that doesn't make it haram that's another ruling all on its own. But we were bitten Mashallah, those into crypto into the future. Allah bless you.

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I hope you got that little message okay. My brothers and sisters.

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The devil says hell and don't know Gala. chahatein hold who the

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beautifully worded by Allah. But there was a poisonous statement within what the devil sees is it should not be shown

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You that fruit, that tree, if you were to eat from it, you wouldn't die. You wouldn't die, death won't come to you. And you know what, you will have ownership that will never deplete, you will have enough so much. And so he says, look, Allah told you not to eat from this, simply

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because he didn't want you to live forever. And he didn't want you to have ownership of a lot. Somehow Adam alayhis salaam says, Let's taste it. So you know what they tasted it. Man is so weak that we get involved in a futile discussion, based on a question who ate first? Have you heard that question? Who ate first? So I want to ask you who didn't eat first, please tell me who ate first. And you will know, put up your hand just say or say it loudly without putting up your hands who ate first?

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Please say it loud who ate first?

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I hear some say how some say Adam, some say both. Mashallah. Both of them ate together. Don't ever blame a woman because I've heard one old uncle one day, tell his wife, it wasn't for you. We'd have all been in paradise to Panama. If it wasn't for you, with the whole being in paradise? No, no, no, please don't blame each other. You can make life a living hell for those whom you live with. If you don't know how to live, and you can make life a paradise to a certain extent.

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If you know how to communicate, how to address people, if you know what you're here for, if you know your purpose in life. So anyway, both of them eat together, and they were ashamed of their deed. I want to pause for a moment my brothers and my sisters.

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Whenever we falter, no matter what we do, the sins we commit major or minor turn back to Allah and never ever lose hope in the mercy of Allah. I spoke at a motivational evening.

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Yesterday, I think it was and you know what? I promise you, my brothers, my sisters, one of the major points of tapping of the devil is that he makes us feel that we're not good enough to be forgiven. So after you seek the forgiveness of Allah, He makes you engage in a sin bigger than that major sin that you had engaged in,

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in a way that you tend to distance yourself from Allah. You tend to insult Allah He says, I am the most forgiving, Most Merciful, most compassionate, most kind. And we say no, you're not gonna forgive me. What did you do? You're insulting Allah. Allah subhanho wa Taala clearly said,

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in a more

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thought, oh, by Jeremy, ah, Allah will always forgive every single sin that you've ever committed. Even if it was a repeat, he will still forgive it. Every time you fall, get up and walk again. The losers are those who when they fall, they don't get up. And the losers are those whom when they fall, they've gotten up and they're walking, and someone keeps telling them you're not walking, you're actually a fallen person. I'm not I've got an app, and I'm walking to Panama, I'm trying again. So if you fall again, get up again. If you for the third time, get up a third time and the fourth and the 10th. But turn to Allah and don't lose hope in his mercy. We don't sin out of

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defiance of our maker. We sin out of the weakness of human nature.

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May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us from sin. That having been said, We have to do something to protect ourselves because you know what? You pay a price sometimes for a sin you commit. I remember a brother telling me, you know what? I committed sin for so many years, and Allah covered me and I kept doing it and kept doing it until my wife found out

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what happened.

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She's not as forgiving and as merciful as Allah. You know, when a man commits a sin, the wives normally are meant to say, It's okay, I give you a chance. But if the woman were to perpetrate the same or even a lesser crime, for some silly reason, a man will not in most cases even tolerated, am I right?

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The women are so scared to say yes. So Pamela.

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That's why we kept the men in the front. The women at the back, you can't see. But unfortunately, we have round tables for them to keep an eye right. That's what you think. But it's a fact. If a man has committed sin, and people expect the wife to say

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No one gives you a chance it's okay or live with it makes up for bad patients. What about the guy?

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When she commits a little crime, she just sent a little heart. You know those emojis that mean absolutely nothing on WhatsApp. If someone sends you kisses on WhatsApp and hearts on WhatsApp, and they send you every emoji there is it means zero. It doesn't mean they love you Not at all. It just means they sent you an emoji. That's exactly what it means. And I'm not saying it's justified to send it. But I am telling you today, if you were to look at my phone and see how many times I use the, the small little yellow face with two hearts where the eyes are today, possibly more than 100 times to who to rule number

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two, a lot of a lot of guys that I'm communicating with, and I'm talking of top people, as well as to my own family. So Panama, but it just means you know what, I care for you and it doesn't mean something dirty. That's what it means or it's just a sign of closeness. Nothing more acknowledgement.

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My brothers and sisters attend to something

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shavon makes us think that we're not forgiven. That's a disease don't ever allow that.

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I want to take you now back because I told you I'm pausing for a moment take you back to Adam and Eve they had children Mashallah and guess what happened? Do you know they gave their children a very good upbringing, very good upbringing as best as they could. But the children became jealous of one another. Be careful of jealousy. Do you know what happens? It will eat you up and destroy you. Don't be jealous when Allah has given one and not another be the brothers or friends or anyone else. Just technology said hamdulillah and move on. Make it to alpha them and then do alpha yourself as well. Oh Allah you bless them. Mashallah tabarrok Allah, oh, Allah bless me too. That's how it should be.

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Whether It's Your brother or your uncle, or whoever else, or a friend or someone you don't even know, pray for them. Don't be jealous. When we get jealous if a hatred gets in the heart, it starts building just like the devil. The devil was jealous because Allah said, I raised Adam above you. So he became jealous and you know what he did? He decided, no, I'm going to destroy this fellow. To this day he continues to dry. Because of one jealousy. Allah raised someone above the other, and this other did not acknowledge it. didn't acknowledge it. You just have to say Oh Allah you gave, Allah says I am.

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I give the wealth. I am the one who distributes no person Nabina whom I

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will hire to do near water often.

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Allah says we are the ones who distributed whatever we have in terms of sustenance of this world. We are the ones who decided who's going to be above others who's going to get more and who's going to get less all this was from Allah. Don't be jealous. When Shaban was jealous. Do you know what he did? He tried his best to destroy. He succeeded to a certain extent, but he will not ultimately succeed. Because we have something known as Toba shapen could have operated with you for 30 years, 40 years, one warm tear of repentance will wipe out 40 years of shamans service.

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You follow how merciful allies very merciful, don't lose hope. So shaytan comes to Cain,

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who is Cain, one of the sons of Adam, in the English language. The name is Cain in the Arabic language is our been right?

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and told him you know your brother every time he makes a donation now at that time, there were no poor people to donate to. So there was a different system of giving a donation. Nowadays you have poor people, so you have to reach out to them. You have aid organizations such as this one here, that does a lot of good work across the globe on our behalf, right? We help with support we give we trust them and they execute it on our behalf. They are poor people we give a charity to right. At that time, they will no poor people they were the beginning of man. So Allah says right, when do you want to give something you have to leave it at a certain place and you know what?

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The fire will come and consume it if it is acceptable by Allah.

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Did you ever know that the fire would come and consume it so when they gave their charities the fire consumed one and didn't consume the other. So this one came whose charities were not accepted goes to Abel. Abel is the brother called Happy in the Arabic language right?

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So happyland kaabil in the Arabic language or Abel and Cain in the English language, and so he says, You know what, why did yours go and mine didn't go? I'm going to kill you. What are you jealous about? jealous about so many things Subhan Allah, there is another narration speaking about how when they married at the time, you know, they had a unique way of marrying, It is reported that Eve May peace be upon her gave birth 20 times, each time there was a boy and a girl. So she had 40 children 20 boys and 20 girls, Mashallah. That was a super mother, right? Super mouth, but Subhana Allah.

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If you were born in the same womb, you couldn't marry each other. But you could marry someone who was born in a different room. So there is a narration that makes mention of how interested came was to Mary April's system. And for some reason, they didn't want it to happen. Imagine these problems we have here in Bradford existed right there at that time, right from the beginning. I'm saying Bradford because to be very honest, I receive a lot of emails of people complaining, they want to marry someone but they can't because you know what, there's a river back in Pakistan or in India, between them their village and the village of the guy who they want to marry? Gosh, gosh, I thought

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we were over that, you know, so can Allah answer inshallah we wouldn't be by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But getting back to the story, the one decided he's going to kill the other. Now. That's my topic this evening. What is it? This is my brothers and sisters. We have not learned a lesson from what happened at that time.

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It's not only mentioned in the Old Testament that the Christians read, but it's mentioned in the Quran in quite a bit of detail that we read, we follow Subhana Allah.

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What happened? Do you know from the very beginning people are different they've been created differently. Adam was not like even he was not like her own children. They had differences of opinion, differences of idea, different capacities different everything was quite different. A lot created all of us so unique. Do you know that that's the power of Allah, every one of us has an identity today, you're looking at my face, and you know, it's me.

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Right? You know what happened?

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A few days ago, I was in Johannesburg.

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And I was wearing a Nigerian dress, you know, disguise went with my wife to buy something. And up there, there was a man selling hotdogs, right?

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And it was Mohammed's caravan or something. Right? So halaal and everything was there. So Panama the brother, I looked at him. And my wife says, Why don't we get some hotdogs? I said, Yeah, that's fine. We can, Mashallah. And so I told him, can I have a few of these? And he looked at me and he heard my voice and he says, Hey, you know, you look like someone I know. I said, Oh, is it and I'm wishing he didn't because you know, it's very difficult. You know, when I was entering here, they wanted to put me into one of the rooms on the side. I said, No, let me enter. Let me said I was gonna walk down the aisle, but I didn't have a bride with me.

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So I thought I'd just come around the corner so that I don't confuse people that think it's my wedding, right?

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So we're lucky, this majestic venue is really majestic. Do you agree? Mashallah, Mashallah, my brother, thank you so much. And he's there in the corner. He doesn't even know what he said. So my brothers and sisters, the guy tells me you look like someone I should owe easy to them wishing he didn't. And then he says, Where do you come from? I said, I come from Zimbabwe. He says, Oh, yeah, you look like Mufti mink. I said, Yeah, I know. I do, man. I know.

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This is so a little while later, he tells me

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Is it you? And I tried to, you know, sort of divert his attention to tell him you know, the hot dogs, and then we'll have a bit of tomato sauce. And we will do this and do that. I think here they call it ketchup. Right? And the reason why I was doing this is because you know, as much as you love to meet people, but sometimes you with your family or sometimes, you know there's a time to meet people give them a little bit of privacy. It becomes very burdensome when you don't. So I told him Yeah, you know what, that guy wears braces? And I don't, and I did this.

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He looked at my teeth, he said, and I just removed the braces that same morning.

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He looked at he said, Yeah, he looked just like him.

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I do I know. And a little while later, he phones his wife. He says, I think there is someone No, he tells me I'm going to call and I'm going to call this person I said, Please don't spoil my day. He recognized now who it was. Don't spoil my day. You can tell them you can let them know but don't call them. You know, I'm here.

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For something else

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may Allah make it easy. May Allah grant us all happiness, contentment, really, we are very, very different. I was saying the brother recognized me because Allah made our faces different. He made our appearance is different. Everyone here is unique. You can be recognized right? Even with your makeup, Mashallah you will be recognized. They're going to know who you are, they will know who you are. Yes, that's the brother. That's the system, right? Not only us, every human being on Earth has a unique thumbprint, unique, Iris unique.

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I don't even know what it's called. I call it a hair print. But there's nothing like a print in English. You know what it means? If you were to shave your head, and you were to take an image of how your hair grew? There are no two human beings who have exactly the same design and pattern on their head. Did you know that?

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And so not only us who are on earth now from the time of Adam right to the last person, they'll never be two exactly identical human beings. No, they won't.

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I come from Africa where we have elephants and giraffes and zebras and cheetahs and lions and leopards those with stripes. Those with spots, not a single one is identical to another from the beginning all the way to the end had fun.

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Nema Medina

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duni. Allah says that is the creation of Allah. So show me what those besides Allah have made. Show me what they've made Subhan Allah, they cannot compete with Allah.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala grant Aziz, my brothers, my sisters, none of us are the same, even in our thinking, we won't think the same. So why did Allah make us different? Why do I think differently? You know, I would like a certain type of food, you might not like that food. I will love for example, a certain color, you might not like that color. You might be married to a person who doesn't like everything you like, in fact, it will be it has to be it must be Subhan Allah, why have you thought of it? It's part of the plan of Allah. He wants us to master the art of living with difference

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of opinion, with differences in our likes and dislikes. Subhana Allah, Allah, He wants us the best human being is the one who knows how to live with these differences, we will think differently, we will be different, we will behave slightly differently. Even if you are born of one mother and one Father. Look at the evidence from the time of Abel and Cain from the time of Adam and Eve. May Allah bless them.

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Smooth issues today. And what do we do? It starts off in the heart, we become abusive, we start belittling, we start making people feel inferior, we say words that are hurtful. We say words that are harmful, we say abusive, vulgar words, do you really think that you're going to go far by saying these bad things you have actually lost the plot? Even if you are making six Salah a day, you're going nowhere?

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What do I mean by six Salah, some people get up for 200, only to donate that to somebody they saw during the day. Some people do factor for us of manipulation. And we should be but don't donate that to someone else because you abused them because you belittle them learn to be the best human being you can take a look at the globe, we are suffering simply because we want to impose our own thinking on the rest of the world. That's why we are struggling you to do that. And that does not mean you watered down your own opinion. When I'm a Muslim, I will remain Muslim. I will believe what's right and wrong based on my convictions. But how will I treat someone who disagrees with me? That is

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something we don't know and we're lacking. And to me, that's one of the biggest reasons why we're at war today, not only with the globe, but even amongst ourselves.

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In the Muslim Ummah, we cannot agree about anything. We don't have leadership in this oma. We don't even have leadership in our communities at times. May Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us. So I'm here this evening to take you back to that first story to tell you it started way back. Allah mentioned it in the Quran and Allah speaks about how important it is to be able to respect each other to avoid the killing because it started off with a little jealousy. Maybe perhaps because

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Because of the marriage issue, that is a narration, but what is valid is the issue of the charity it was accepted from one and not accepted from the other

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is called raba or ban to come in handy Hema, what am Belle Mina? Kala portolan

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Allah says in the Quran clearly that you know when one of them gave a charity and it was accepted, the other one was not accepted. This guy tells the other guy I'm gonna kill you La ilaha illa Allah, May Allah forgive us, may Allah grant us a lesson, my brothers and sisters, you should be yourself unique. You don't compromise your faith and your convictions what you believe is right, you don't compromise that that doesn't mean you have to be little someone else who has thought differently. Who's used the brain, Allah gave them to arrive at a conclusion that you consider wrong. I'm not saying you don't have to believe they were wrong at times. You know, if someone says one plus one is

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five, you know they wrong. But does that mean you swayed him? Does it mean you belittle them? Does it mean you abuse them? Does it mean you beat them up? We used to be beaten up when we were kids when we said something wrong. You know, with all due respect to the scholars who are here this evening, I want to say something very interesting. There was a time back in the day when a lot of us were quite young, if you're my age, in your 50s or 40s panela.

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haven't yet clocked the 50 but soon inshallah.

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When we were much younger, we had something known as corporal punishment. And you know what they did it when they taught us the most sacred book in existence. What is that? What's the book,

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The Quran

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and then they say it's the Sunnah of the Prophet. And I remember them lying to us, telling us, the funny the punishment of jahannam will never touch the place of your body that the scholars whip has latched on. Have you heard that word? It's a tale, man. It's a lie. They used it to abuse us and to blackmail us into believing. Okay, give me one here. Okay, now this side here, oh, my bums are not going to be in Johanna. May. Allah forgive us. That's what they did to us. We believed it. When we were kids. We narrated it, some people migrated it to the next generation to say Don't worry, did you start whack us at what we say? Don't worry, that portion will never touch Japan. Where did you

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get that from? The Prophet Mohammed who was sent as a mercy to mankind sallallahu alayhi wasallam sent as a mercy to entire humanity and more and beyond as a mercy. How many have graduated in Iran and in his life and the knowledge from his hands?

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And how many did he beat up?

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You follow? Not even one. So Allah, because we are weak and we lack methodology of teaching, we take it out on the ones who were teaching and we turn them away from religion completely. They don't even want to go, why you're gonna go in there, they look at you. I'll fix you, I'll show you Gosh, I'm not going to go back there, man. Corner those days, we stopped

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wanting to even go to anything to do with religion simply because we would do. That's not what it is. You have to take into consideration the entire environment. You have to know what's going on. You have to address people with respect. From the very beginning we were taught that as humankind and thereafter as the oma of the one who was sent as a mercy to the rest Subhan Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam my brothers and sisters.

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When we differ, we will differ on all levels starting with your own spouse whom you love.

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Your own spouse whom you love so much, Mashallah. I hope hamdulillah

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what will happen, you will disagree on things on matters. How do you disagree? You disagree. You acknowledge and disagreement, you may want to discuss it depending on what it is. You may want to talk about it in a civilized fashion. Don't ever raise your voice. Do you know we lack Muslims in this country who are qualified to give

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to give water? We lack Muslims in this country whose homes are qualified to take in those children requiring foster care.

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Did you hear what I just said? I swear by Allah. If you went out to register your home, to qualify to take children into foster care in this country, you would be disqualified.

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Besides a handful, you would have to work on so many things in the home. They would make you real Muslims before you can do that. Islam gave it to us from the beginning. Do you shout, scream yell abusive this that in your house, you don't qualify Not at all. It's not the whole it's not a house or a home. It's just a dwelling by the will of Allah. Allah, Allah, you follow what I'm saying? Ask yourselves when you go home, how how embarrassed in mind that even those who don't even follow the face of this faith have so much goodness, they will tell you your house is not even qualified to take in a child that requires foster care.

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And so don't take it from me, go and apply. And I promise you, when you qualify, you will have a much better home Subhanallah you're gonna have a beautiful environment in that house, you will know how to speak how to address people how to tackle difference of opinion, and so on so much more. But my brothers and sisters, were too lazy. We're too lazy. We don't mind the Muslim children going into non Muslim foster cares and foster homes. But we will never do that. Do you know why we're in a comfort zone and we're going to pay the price.

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We don't even know how to talk to our own spouses. We have such a big disease as Muslims, I promise you that when the divorce happens, it's like the end of the world go to the non Muslims and learn from them. Divorce happens they've disagreed, we didn't get along. But they will fulfill the rights of the children. They won't be abusive anymore. They will remain respectful in that relationship. But what do Muslims do, especially the ones who are rigid in Islam, they forget about Islam.

00:31:49--> 00:32:32

They penalize and punish the other simply because we went through a divorce. I don't know how you're talking about. What are you talking about? Can you be civilized? Please? Can you be a Muslim? Do you know that if you didn't get along through the divorce, the divorce will open doors of acts of worship that you hadn't dreamed of that will be even more difficult than when you were married? Are you ready to do that? If not remain married. May Allah grant us ease. You have to have a big heart, you have to understand that children belong to both no matter how criminal The other one is, unless obviously, sorry, I want to withdraw that statement. No matter how criminal they were, if they were

00:32:32--> 00:32:42

abusive. And if they had engaged in types of abuse with the children or if they definitely do not have the qualities at all, then there is an exception.

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If a father has abused his own daughter, he is no longer qualified to be the welly or the guardian of that child. Full stop. I hope I clarified myself here. Because there are so many children who come up and tell us I was abused by my uncle or not come up, I was abused by my father. I was abused by my elder brother or someone, whatever. Trust me, we need to create an environment of respect of love of dignity.

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May Allah forgive us?

00:33:16--> 00:33:39

So when we differ, what do we do? We start yelling, whoever can scream louder wins the battle when I went to Egypt many years ago, and I'm giving you a typical Arabic example. I went to Egypt for the first time and I jumped into a taxi. It was painted black and white. And as we're driving the guy was telling me Oh, Egypt. Very good, very good. Egypt's very good, you know? I said, Yeah, very good.

00:33:40--> 00:33:55

And so he was cruising through the traffic, and suddenly, he bumped into a guy just as I was thinking these people don't bump. He bumped into the guy. If it was asked, we would say, that's your evil. Right? would have said that. But he didn't.

00:33:56--> 00:34:31

He jumped out. He started yelling, screaming, yelling, the other guy started yelling, screaming, yelling, and this guy scream so loud. The other guy jumped into his car and went away. I came back and said What happened? He says, No. He explained to me in his language, you know, broken he didn't know I spoke Arabic. And I didn't want to tell him. So he was speaking in broken English telling me whoever screams louder wins the battle go away. He said, Look, I scream louder than him. He jumped into his car went away. Good, buddy. I said what about you guys in a small, small, small, small, which means it's okay. Trust me here in Britain. If there's a scratch on your Porsche, that's piano

00:34:31--> 00:35:00

man. You probably want to beat up the person what on earth did you do we get up we yell we shout. We want to prove something. We make mistakes. It could have been your wife who not somebody else's Porsche. What would have happened? It happens we make mistakes. It's called an accident because it is by accident. That's what it is. It's not like boom, okay, I did it. dodgem car. let's reverse. And now I hit the other one. Let's go this way. I don't think it has happened. No, nobody does it intentionally. So don't get upset.

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said when you know you're disciplined is when people make a blunder when the glass breaks when something happens that you don't like, you don't get angry, then you know, you're now a true Muslim.

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Young man came to the Prophet peace be upon him. He says on messenger. Imagine he got a chance with the messenger. If you were to get a chance with Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, what would you ask him? I mean, its people say that to whoever they want to meet that What would I say? I have one minute to say something. What can I say? He says, oh, messenger, give me advice. Now, you know, sometimes you you're busy walking on the streets. I it's happened to me. When I'm walking in the mall. Sometimes someone will greet you and they say, you know, what advice can you give me I'm about to get married. I say, I'm about to buy something from the shop. So panela it's the wrong place. And the guy says,

00:35:47--> 00:36:08

You know, I have a quick question. I said, Does it look like this Tesco is a q&a. You know, we want to buy something, relax this greeting Goodbye, let's say greet. Hello, how are you? You know, polite? Greetings, and that's it. hamdulillah I'm happy to see you. And I'm glad to see you. Perhaps maybe nowadays, based on the generation we're living in a selfie wouldn't be a bad idea. Okay?

00:36:09--> 00:36:52

Although I don't encourage it, but it's okay, fine. However, however, this man says to the messenger, peace be upon him, give me some advice, the messenger peace be upon him, told him Don't get angry. Why? Maybe he noticed something about this guy, right? Maybe the guy, whatever must have been. Only Allah knows. Because the prophet SAW Selim gave different advice to different people. And it was unique to this man, you know? So he says, Don't get angry. Now. Imagine if someone were to meet a very, you know, person they look up to and ask them give me advice. And they told you Be patient. You would like, oh, anything else? You know, like you were expecting more, right? Anything

00:36:52--> 00:37:02

else? You have to say? Madam coming to a motivational evening and just hearing two paragraphs and then we got to go? You would think like, I think we were ripped off. So Pamela,

00:37:03--> 00:37:31

but I promise you my brothers and sisters, the prophet peace be upon him was asked again. Okay, give me more advice. He said, Don't get angry. Give me more advice. He said, Don't get angry. Give me more advice. Don't get angry. Do you know why? Perhaps that man might have had a problem with his temper. But I want to tell you, we all need that advice. Because we get angry when things don't happen your way and you can come down you're a true follower of that messenger. Peace be upon him. You deserve his intercession on the Day of Judgment. May Allah grant it to us.

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My brothers and sisters, we get angry very fast. With something in the home doesn't happen whether it's the child or a spouse or a parent, or a sibling, we can so upset with how we start venting bad words, we utter vulgar words.

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And the Hadith says a true believer never uses an abusive word. I'm not going to ask you to put your hand up if you've never sewn a swear word in your life, because I think my hands would be down too and it would be such a big embarrassment. But that was back in the day. Maybe.

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May Allah forgive all of us starting with me. But we must improve. We've said bad words, hurtful words, dirty words, abusive words, and you still claim to be a Muslim and that's why we're suffering Subhan Allah you will go to your messages at the masjid is a place where you're supposed to go for prayer. And for worshiping Allah for something good. When you get in. It's going to be too hot or too cold when it's too hot or too cold. Shaytan comes and says but you're a wealthy man. I'm sure you can raise your voice here. And you say open the window. And then there's an old uncle who has slightly less money than you think and feel cold. Okay, over and over. And then you look at the guy

00:38:45--> 00:38:48

who's working this out you'll be fired if you don't open that window.

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He won't Subhanallah tolerate the heat of the dounia Allah will save you from the heat of the fire of Johanna How's that?

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So can Allah

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ask the men down here? Every Ramadan

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shape on his tie so don't blame shape on we become little shayateen ourselves right? It's you It's not the devil people say but chicken is tied. How can we say because you It's you It's not the devil anymore. You've become a little devil.

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Right? Every Ramadan what happens? People are fighting in the machine about what I promise you. It's about the fan. It's about a window. It's about the light. It's about the pace of the telawi it's about all those things every year. I promise you it's happening right or wrong guys?

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Did you hear them say right? The one that they don't allow the women in.

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Allah forgive you. Allah forgive you, the women who would have sorted your metal out a long time ago.

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My brothers and sisters it's absolutely important for us to note that to be considered the correct Muslim you must be disciplined. You have to be disciplined

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If you're not disciplined, you're going nowhere. And this type of advice, you know, when you hear someone across the globe sitting and telling you how you must come down and so on, people say, oh, wow, lovely advice. But when we're listening to it from the Quran and the Sunnah, we don't take it seriously. It is golden advice. It is called an advice. We don't know how to defer. Let me give you another example.

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And I'm going to take the liberty of entering into this example because it's a reality. We're facing crises across the globe. Do you know what? We belong to different sects as Muslims?

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How do we treat each other? Again, abuse, we heard dirtiest words, my brother, you have every right to believe what you're convinced by it doesn't make the other person an evil person simply because he's convinced otherwise, you can discuss it, you shouldn't discuss it, you can raise it in a very respectful way, in a very, very polite way. It's probably going to be more effective and more convincing when you raise it with love with compassion, with dignity with goodness, rather than to start swearing spewing. Don't look at them, don't greet them. I was saying moments ago with us. Our problem is in our own homes, we have a problem with our brothers. I'm sure it might be in this

00:41:22--> 00:41:39

community. I don't know of any particular case, but I have five fingers. So if I were to tell you, you've got five fingers, it's not like I know the unseen. It's just something so normal and natural. It happens. Our own brother or sister we will not talk to them for 20 years.

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And you're saying La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah.

00:41:45--> 00:41:46

And you want to go into Jenna.

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When levena una Amami o Sala

00:41:55--> 00:41:58

una Latin,

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Allah says those who break the ties that they're supposed to mend, and those who cause chaos on Earth, against them is the curse of Allah.

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kissed we can't even make peace what's in over? I can tell you it's over a few things. Primarily, perhaps it's over money.

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A few pounds. That's what it's all inheritance, old man died. And we've got a problem. That's why I say the richer you are, trust me, the more concerned you must be about your children getting along with each other. Once you leave, you'd rather sorted out in your lifetime.

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I've known many wealthy families back from where I come from, most of them totally broke. After a generation or two, totally.

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May Allah forgive us.

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We have a little issue, we cannot get along. We have small matters. I was saying someone from a different sector. We don't greet we don't talk. We don't want for what my brother? If it was a business deal worth 10 million pounds, we would forget about all those differences. And we would say hello, my brother Solomonic. How are you? Let me give you a big hug why 10 million pounds bro.

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I promise you, we'll invite each other to each other's homes, totally different faith totally, they will law he we should be respecting each other prior to those 10 million. And even if they didn't ever come, we should be respecting each other in exactly the same way. What's wrong, why we cannot bring the baggage of far away to where we are. And we must learn to respect each other because the difficulties that we are facing are a direct result of our attitude at times. And the general norms need to become proper norms. It's not no

00:43:50--> 00:43:56

to start swearing a person you differ with. The Christians had their Christmas the other day was yesterday.

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Let them do whatever they have to why does someone need to spew hate? Why does someone need to say hurtful words for what the day you have your need? I'm sure you will be led to have that aid in a beautiful way. They will be happy for you. So Kerala.

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We're living in a country where it is not just one religion. So many people from all over you. You would never be able to know the exact number of religions in this country. You wouldn't know it. And we are a small minute minority. Trust me so small that you wouldn't even believe how small we are. Especially if you come from Bradford you feel like you're living in a majority Muslim place, right? Trust me, it's not

00:44:42--> 00:44:48

trust me. We're so little. But we get so excited about things.

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And then when we say something of this nature, people say you know what?

00:44:55--> 00:44:59

You're asking us to give up our faith. Not at all. Do you hear? Do you read you under

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Then you remain with your faith you remain you believe you can be a good Muslim. But you just have to understand, just like you have the right, they have the right, just like you're convinced they are convinced in another way, just and they will go back to Allah and we will all answer to Allah. So if I'm wrong, I need to go back to the poor. And the sooner I need to check with the scholars, I need to find out and keep asking making sure that I'm doing the right thing. If I'm doing the wrong thing, I must change myself. It's not easy to say I'm sorry, I was dealing with a divorce case or not a divorce case, but actually a case of marital Discord. And the woman says, if this guy comes

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and apologizes unconditionally, and I will take it, I will say Okay, give him another chance. So Pamela, and this guy has never done that before. So I tell him, I said, Brother, there's one way sorting this matter. Simple. Your ego. Throw it out.

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Come with your tail between your legs. And you know what, just say, I'm very sorry. Whatever I did was unacceptable. I would never do it again. I apologize. I cannot imagine the torment that I've put you through. I really feel that that was so unacceptable. And I'm not going to do it again. The woman immediately embraced the guides, okay, it's done. It's over. Because history in the making someone who never apologizes suddenly says, I'm sorry, La ilaha illAllah.

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Some of us here, we've never said I'm sorry, in our lives. Never. Not once. Even when we know we're wrong, we still believe I'm right. It's me. How can I put my pride down? I'm older than these guys. I'm wealthier than these guys. I'm supposed to be the, you know, the higher road? How can I say I'm sorry, come out and say I'm sorry. Because the day will come when the almighty may not forgive you? SubhanAllah. And I'm about to say I'm sorry, my brothers and sisters. I was supposed to speak for 45 minutes. Do you believe it's already 46 minutes? I don't usually do that. I promise. I apologize. It's so nasty what I did, right. But I'm asking you to give me a few more minutes. How's that? Is it

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okay?

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May Allah bless you.

00:47:21--> 00:47:34

15 more minutes. I'm taking from the time of the brothers from the aid organization who will want to raise a few funds. So if I'm going to speak for 15 more minutes, you guys have to promise you're going to donate generously. You're going to donate generously.

00:47:36--> 00:47:37

Oh I better

00:47:38--> 00:47:40

I better close shop here man.

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I think we will be vanilla. Someone told me no breakfast you're gonna you know, you're gonna smash it, not to me, but to them. And I'm like, you better make sure that no windows because there will be smashed and I noticed there is not a single window you notice. I don't know what we're gonna smash. My brothers, my sisters. Tonight's motivation

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is for us

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to become people who know how to disagree with each other.

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We need to really understand disagreements will happen even among the best of people. It doesn't make the other person evil. We will disagree within our families. Be polite. Understand, it's okay. I can live with you.

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With disagreement, and I can be absolutely united. You know when we say unity

00:48:33--> 00:48:44

when we say we're not united, and suddenly when you see everyone in Makkah making such that together in a haram during Hajj. What do we say? Look, look how united they are? Do we not say that?

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Do we not say that? We see everyone's going to alpha and look how united they are. Trust me they are not united. They are not United at all. I know of people who go for Hajj with a lot of hatred for the others. I know of people who go for Hajj and they really don't like those others who are with them. But they're doing the same thing at the same time. That is not unity, that is uniformity. Don't mix the two. uniformity is never unity. Unity is tolerating the difference that is united, we can be united with everyone with our differences. Why? Because we have a common purpose. Somehow we need to protect this earth. We need to for the sake of our children and our coming generations. Let

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sanity prevail on Earth.

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As time is passing, as we're progressing technologically, as we're becoming more sophisticated in our education, and you know, from from a university degree to a Master's to a PhD to a double PhD Subhanallah we're becoming people who've lost our values and morals. We're becoming people who have lost the ability to interact with people in a respectful way, even though they differ very strongly Subhanallah

00:49:58--> 00:49:59

you can differ strongly, very strongly.

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I could differ with you totally, completely, I will still acknowledge you, I will greet you, I will respect you, I will smile at you I will save your life. If your life is in danger, I will make sure that I have served you even though I differ totally, I might not agree so what? So what Subhana Allah.

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You know, when you're driving down the road and something happens to you.

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You would expect anyone to stop and assist. Muslim, non Muslim, tall, short, whoever else. Sometimes we're selective in who we help. That's bad. That's very bad.

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And the floods strike, they don't just strike people who thought the way you're thinking they strike everyone, we become human.

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When something happens when you have a natural disaster, it affects everyone. We would like to save all of humanity. That's why when Allah speaks of saving lives,

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he doesn't speak of Muslims.

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He speaks of enough's

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the soul the people, woman, a hiya forgotten Amma

00:51:13--> 00:51:29

said Jeremy, whoever saves a single life is he is as good as a person who has saved entire humanity. Because it's the feeling of the heart. I save one life well Subhana life everyone had to follow that the world would be a better place.

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So I pray that inshallah we can actually differ with respect. And we can actually learn to respect each other love each other care for each other, even with our differences. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah bless you all. I pray that I'll have a moment to greet every single one of you by the word of Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:51:49--> 00:51:59

I hope that happens, Mashallah. We have quite a large number of people here. Well done. Bradford. I just came from another event down the road, called the night of vocals. Have you heard of that?

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Night of vocals more for the young, the youth, the little kids, they have a lot of Nasheed artists there they have comedians. They have so many others. Also, by a man channel. It's their brainchild. And they they're singing and so many other things, all vocal vocal meaning even though it sounds a little bit like music, but it's made from the mouth. So so panela I just attended the beginning of that function. And then I came here, and I'm witnessing so many people in Bradford, all spending these holidays in such a beautiful way. When I saw the number of children there, I was excited. I thought to myself, you know what, they could have spent this day doing other things but Subhanallah

00:52:41--> 00:53:18

at least they've come through and they really enjoying themselves really excited. You know, when when the MC said tech be for them. There was such a loud Allahu Akbar that I haven't even heard when that tech bill is set in the masjids. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you all. We need to be concerned not just for ourselves, but or our families alone, but for the coming generations for communities or societies. For those of the globe, entire inhabitants of the globe. We are part of them. We need to be caring. May Allah grant us ease aku Kohli Hala masala was an American and Amina Muhammad