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Daughters are Special

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Mufti Menk

Channel: Mufti Menk

Episode Notes

The Straight Path Women’s Convention in Malaysia

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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smilla rahmanir rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa

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Sallim wa ala

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nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ottavino be assigning Elijah Medina.

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All praise is due to Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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The one who created us, the one who is in control of every aspect of our lives, our existence, the one whom we shall return to the one who has blessed us in 1,000,001 ways. We send blessings and salutations upon Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he who was chosen to be sent to us as a messenger and a guide.

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We ask Allah to bless his entire household, his entire

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group of companions, and at the same time, we ask Allah subhana wa Jalla to bless every single one of us and grant us goodness, my beloved brothers and sisters in Islam.

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Indeed, every one of us, is gifted by Allah subhanho wa Taala, in one way or another, and sometimes, in fact, in many ways, but we don't realize the gifts of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because human nature is such that we concentrate on those things that we don't have, this is what happens to mankind, we tend to concentrate on what we don't have, and this is why we overlook what we actually do have, they say you only realize the value of what you had after you lose it. But that should not be the case. When it comes to a believing male or female. Allah subhanho wa Taala has asked us

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to sit and ponder over his gifts to think about what he has given you. And he says, I'm going to ask you about what I've given you. I'm sure most of us if not all of us would know a verse of the Quran, where Allah Subhana Allah, Allah says,

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Allah

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indeed, then definitely you will be all asked about the gifts that Allah has bestowed upon you, everyone is going to be asked.

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So what are these gifts you need to sit and ponder, think about them. They are gifts within you. There are gifts around you. They are gifts of Allah subhanho wa Taala in existence in the creation of the skies, the heavens, the earth, the plantation, the atmosphere, and everything around you as well. And Allah subhanho wa Taala says, if you were to look into your own selves, and what we've bestowed upon you, you would understand the greatness of Allah subhanho wa Taala he calls on us by saying, what we

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foresee

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and within your own selves, do you not see? Are you not able to look? My brothers and sisters I asked you to ponder for a moment Don't we have eyes Mashallah for those who might not be able to see Don't you have a nose you can breathe? Don't you have Mashallah brain the mind? hamdulillah? Don't you have feet, legs, Hands, fingers, and so on? Haven't you been blessed with so much? If Allah has taken one thing away, that's your test. But he's given you so many other things.

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So panela if you've had one thing taken away automatically, there are other things that are given to you in a bigger way, those who cannot see can hear better than those who can see in most cases, and this is a gift of Allah. And Allah has done this in order for us to be able to appreciate. Now one might ask, I'm supposed to be speaking about donors, where am I heading?

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To be honest, the gifts of Allah such that when a person is married, and I'm going to start at that point, and I will probably end at that point. So we will close the entire circle. When a person gets married, one of the things that he or she looks forward to after the honeymoon inshallah

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is to have children and one of the biggest tests of Allah subhanho wa Taala

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is the following. And before I say that we tell you, when you understand that Allah has chosen for you

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a specific package of tests that is uniquely yours, not anyone elses. He knows that he issues, suburb and patient

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According to the package that he's given you to you,

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you can never be burdened with something beyond what you can cope with. Because Allah has promised that he will give out to you the amount of support and patience that you actually need for your package that he already knows about. So don't say I can't quote Yes, it gets to a level where perhaps you might want to do something about it. You know, people think that when we speak about marriage, you need to stay in an oppressive marriage, because Allah says he won't burden you with something that you cannot cope with. That doesn't mean you need to remain in an oppressive marriage, all it means is, when it gets to beyond a certain point, you can choose another way out that Allah

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has allowed you to, that's what it means.

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You can, so let's not misinterpret what is being said. But what I mean is when there are things you have no control over at all, there is no way Allah will open your door. According to your problem, according to your issue. You lose a loved one, for example, or the main issue that I wanted to start with is and I said, one of the biggest problems, one of the biggest tests that Allah tests a couple with is when they do not have offspring, but they don't have offspring. That is your paradise. That is your gentlemen. Allah says, hang on, I know exactly why I am not giving you offspring, you might not know I know why I'm not giving you and I am telling you, this is the biggest test for you. And

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if you were to best sub, I want to let you know that I will be with you. My help is with you. And at the same time for you is gentleman

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in

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is

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indeed Allah compensates those who have engaged in any form of sub

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unlimited reward in an unlimited manner, Allah gives you so much. So my brothers and sisters, if from amongst you, there will definitely be people who don't have children, and you desperately want those children. And yes, it is correct. Allah will keep you there for as long as He wills. And he may grant you a miracle, according to what you perceive is a miracle. And if you don't get what you perceive is a miracle, you need to know that what he has done for you is always a miracle. You need to notice, when Allah doesn't give you what you want, you need to know he's always done whatever he wanted, that was the miracle for you. You may not understand it. I know of people who've had

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children after a long, long time, and then they lost their children to a motor vehicle accident. And I remember being told, I wish I didn't have these children in the first place. Well, when you didn't have them, you continue to cry about it. While there is no harm, you are supposed to become closer to Allah subhanho wa Taala when he tests you with not giving you what you want, it's think about what I've just said.

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If Allah subhana wa Taala has not given you what you want, one of the reasons is he wants you to draw closer to Him by calling out to him alone. That's what it is. If every one of us had whatever we wanted, I think a lot of us would not even be reaching out calling out to Allah subhanho wa Taala

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I think we would be dilly dallying in our activation. But when you have a problem, it's a medical issue. It's a social issue. It's a financial issue, whatever issue it may be, you start calling out to allow your heart becomes soften, it should become softer. And this is why I say and I'm repeating if you don't have children, think Allah subhanho wa Taala upon this, the many things that you do have and continue asking. I'm not saying sit back and say look, I'm not going to ask I'm not going to do anything. I don't want to seek perhaps medical advice. I don't want to see if there's anything wrong, I don't want and I'm just going to sit because I'm a minute and I've been told that you just

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need to be happy with the degree of Allah. That is a warped understanding of that deal of predestiny vote.

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Allah says, do whatever is in your capacity to to achieve what is beneficial for you, according to you, is Allah and foulke

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make sure that you go the extra mile to do that which you believe is beneficial for you then it's time to

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seek the help of Allah. And don't be lazy.

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And then when something happens to you, the Hadith says we're in a samba cache, la que lo unev al Qaeda al Qaeda for Deku Baba shavon

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when something finally does happen,

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This way or that way, don't ever go back to blame the term if I if if I did this, had I done this, this would have happened if I did this that would ever happen. Don't say that because the if opens the door of the devil, that's what it means.

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You did it and that's it. I tried my best I continued making dua but I'm happy upon what Allah has chosen for me. It's something that I need to understand. So those who don't have children may Allah bless you with to

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those who don't have offspring, Allah bless you will offspring then Mashallah, we are blessed. Mashallah, and what happens? Five years later, eight years later, 10 years later, I know of a case 18 years later, Mashallah when people almost lost hope. And Allah says, Hey, I'm going to give you something, and suddenly, you're expecting and suddenly you have a child, and suddenly it's a boy or it's a girl, and Mashallah, we're so excited life changes, and everything becomes so exciting. That's the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala, isn't it? At the same time? My brothers and sisters, there is another way Allah tests. And what is that? By giving you another child?

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Oh, so how is that a test of the same gender? So Panama.

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So now there's a new problem, what's the problem? I have a child but that child is the same gender as the previous one. So

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people are not happy. Allah says in the Quran,

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amazingly, that he creates as he wishes,

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he will only have

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me, Russia,

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Russia,

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Russia, makishima. Allah, To Him belongs everything on earth, and in heaven.

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for him is the ownership of what is in the skies. And

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he creates as he wishes, he gives whomsoever He wishes, only females. And he gives whomsoever He wishes, only males. And he gives whomsoever He wishes, both male and female. And for some whom he desires, not to give offspring, he will give neither male nor female, at some, Ah, that's his plan. So you have one child, you are happy, you have another child, if it's the same gender, you are sad.

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That's what happens. There is the test of Allah Do not be sad, I want to inform you have a major sin. A major sin is to become upset at the gender of the child that you have been bestowed with.

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Especially if it is a female. Why, especially if it is a female, because that is expressly mentioned in the book on the kuffar at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, just the pre Islamic era, those who fall they had a major issue, what was the issue, they only wanted males. I think this is creeping in to society today again, and it has been rearing its ugly head now and again, people only want males, female. In some countries, they will abort the moment they find out it's a female

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because they become upset.

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And for this reason, many verses have been revealed. Take a look at

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Careers where Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks of how those who used to bury their daughters alive. There was a pagan habit that as soon as a child was born at that time, there was no ultrasound to figure it out. Otherwise, they would have dealt with it earlier. As soon as they figured out or they saw the child is born female, the father would take the child, dig a pit, bury the Child Life, forget about it and carry on. What happens to the child. I'm not bothered. I don't want a female.

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That's how bad it was.

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And when Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was sent.

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He made it clear that don't is a special very clearly.

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He made it very clear that if you get upset when you are informed of the fact that Allah bestowed you with a gift of a child, being a female, then you've engaged in a major sin just by becoming upset. So be careful.

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Allah says, Why?

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He likes big

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booty like

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when the girl child who was buried alive will be asked on that day of judgment. Why? What was the sin for which you will kill? Who will have to reply? Those who killed her?

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This is a beautiful teaching, one might say how does it apply to us we don't kill our children. While Allah subhanho wa Taala speaks about something even more interesting regarding the

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war in Abuja,

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Zoo, Emma bushi ob,

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when one of them was informed of a female child, he would hide his head. In fact, he would become upset,

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his face would become blackened. And he would become angry when he was informed of a female child. He would hide from community and from people

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because of the evil news that he goes.

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So from this, we learned that if you are a believer, male or female, you will not consider it evil news. It's a blessing.

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Every man out there who is successful in one way or another, who has been blessed by Allah subhanho wa Taala, in one way or another,

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has come to the earth through a female Subhana. Allah has been looked after and nurtured by a female, the same female that we are speaking about here that those people used to get upset when they were informed. You have a female child, imagine if all of the females were eradicated. To begin with, I wouldn't be talking here.

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But at the same time,

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it would create disaster Allah alone knows why he does what he does. So be happy when you have been told you know what, you've only got feelings. So in order to put an end to this pagan belief, so many rules and regulations came into play, one of them was the manifestation of the mercy of Allah when you've been given the gift of a daughter.

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Why is this issue so special? Well, let me tell you,

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she was downtrodden. At one stage, she was looked down upon in the pre Islamic era, she was made to perform nude in the presence of those who had wealth. This was at the time of the pre Islamic age. She was treated like a commodity to be bought and sold. Life was imposed on her in terms of decision where you get married and what you do. It wasn't even necessarily marriage. It was abuse at times.

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So what Islam did is, it came in the government and started saying amazingly and uniquely,

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you shall not treat your child like this starting from the news that she's a girl child you need to be happy, thank Allah, Allah you have. You have granted us Baraka in our home. You have granted us blessing in our home. That's the girl child Subhana Allah blessing, what a blessing. She will come with her own sustenance, she has come with her own destiny. And on top of that she has come as a means of entry into paradise for those who take care of her so

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she has come as a means of entry to paradise for those who take care of her.

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So Islam says it is prohibited to make a woman

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parade nude for the men

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prohibited

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lets her cover herself so that she is respected. She is not judged based on whether she has thick hair or sparse hair or for example, maybe a receding hairline. She is not judged because of that. She is not judged because she weighs 40 kilos or 60 She is not judged because she is tall or short. She is not judged by the fact that she might be dark in complexion or fair she is not judged by the fact that she made have not been, for example of the size of feet that someone decided was ideal.

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I was shocked to know that in some cultures, if you have a certain size of foot, they don't want to marry you.

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To be loved,

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cannot marry cannot May Allah subhanho wa Taala, forgive us, it is a reality.

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Islam says this is pagan, you cannot do that. You judge her by her dedication to Allah. And we will get to this in a few moments.

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And when I say you judge her by her dedication to Allah, meaning when you want to get married, or for example, there is reason to say, I'd like to know how this person is, you know, people say, Don't judge me. Yes, we understand. I also believe we shouldn't be judging people with the wrong judgments for the wrong reasons unnecessarily. But we're allowed to guide and advise, aren't we. So let's not hide behind the statement, don't judge me in order to run away from advice that we know. But at the same time, here, we're talking about something else. We're talking about a totally different type of a judgment, when you want to get married, it is your right to have looked at the

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person you want to marry to have perhaps spoken to them. That is also your right, you may choose to do that. You may choose to want to know that you're making the right decision. Nobody can take that away from you. They cannot just decide to say you know what, that's it, you're not going to see him. When you get married, you're going to see him some cultures to this day happen to do that. And they call it Islam. And we are here to clarify that that is not Islam.

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That is not Islam.

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You are allowed to meet you are allowed to have a say, you can say no, I don't want I'm not happy. I don't feel comfortable. And you know what? Yes, you do have that final safe

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to planula. So when Rasulullah sallallahu Sallam made it clear that you will not inherit a female because she's a human being. She used to be inherited, a man dies and suddenly those whom he owes money, they come and say, okay, where's the money? No money, okay, I'll take this girl, and I'll take that woman. How can you say that she's not a commodity, prohibited? What greatness in teaching amazing.

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So she will only be judged based on her dedication to Allah, a service to humanity. And humanity is known as

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you know, you have a lot and they talk a lot, which means the rights of Allah and the rights of fellow worshipers, the rest of humanity, for example. So those who dedicatedly fulfill the rights of fellow worshipers, they have actually fulfilled their duty unto Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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I remember speaking about fulfilling the rights of worshipers and I said, we need to serve humanity. And someone actually got up and told me we only serve Allah. We don't serve humanity. I said, think about it. When Allah has asked you to serve humanity, you are actually yes serving Allah, but through the service of the rest of mankind. We are not saying worship mankind, no, there is a difference. We are saying serve the creatures of above. There is a very big difference between the two. Worship is only for love. We agree, no act of worship shall be rendered to any but Allah but when it comes to the rest of mankind and the rest of the creatures of Allah, there are certain

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rules, regulations, certain requirements. Allah subhanho wa Taala, once you

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to fulfill the rights of everything part of your test, fulfill the rights.

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So Allah subhanho wa Taala prohibited the burial of this girl, her treat her maltreatment. On top of that, there was something amazing that happened, what was it

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instead of only prohibiting

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that a woman being inherited herself, Allah subhanho wa Taala dictated

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that she will be given from the estate of her deceased relatives if they're close enough, such as a father or a son, and so on.

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She will be given the men might have asked

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what does she need that for she's taken care of.

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All her needs are taken care of. Because truly, according to the Islamic rulings, a female

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is definitely special. A daughter is so special, she is not supposed to be

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worrying about her food, clothing and accommodation. It is supposed to be taken care of by rights.

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I know one might argue that all the world has changed and things have become so difficult. It's all still it is the right of the males.

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From an Islamic perspective,

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it is still the right of the media. So if you want to help you want to work because you know life is tough, we want to live on a higher level than we actually may, if I don't, when it happens, sometimes your husband might be able to afford, your father might be able to afford your brother who may be looking after you may be able to afford, but his affordability may be on a level that you might want to perhaps do better.

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And you might want to actually raise so what would have to happen maybe if you've chosen to work within a decent environment that would not be in the displeasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala no harm, you've actually now brought in an income in order to be over and above the minimum that was due to you.

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The standard of living sometimes people are not satisfied when they say no, I can do better. You know, it reminds me of so much in terms of technology, we follow it such that we are not satisfied with what we have, which was the latest last year, but it's no longer the latest this year. So you got your cash, you may go ahead, don't become a slave of technology. Don't because why it will actually make you waste a lot of your money. And it will make you waste a lot of your energy emotions. And it makes you feel so sad, yet you have something so beautiful. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us. However, a female should have been looked after and still shouldn't be looked after

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regarding her basic necessities. But at the same time, what we do need to know is

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Allah says we will give her a share just for herself. And I remember mentioning this and because we are speaking about how special daughters are, I want to say something very important.

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When it comes to the laws of inheritance, those who don't know Islam from among the non Muslims and from among the ignorant Muslims, they pick on the fact that women seemingly get less than men when it comes to inheritance. Don't they say that? They say, look, take a look at this. Islam says with the Academy's law, how will

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a male will get double the portion of a female? Wow. So they say that's very unfair, when I can explain it to you from a very simple perspective today, that in actual fact, even though in figures, it might seem that the main has got more in reality, the female got more, you might say how, you know, don't try and pull cotton wool over our eyes. No, I'm not.

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I'll explain to you. A male responsibility extends well beyond himself. Female has a responsibility. Even her own upkeep. It's the responsibility of a close male, the closest male. And Allah knows that sometimes when that male happens to be a little bit further, he may not fulfill those rights. So he says the further in the mail, the bigger your share mazing. So if you have a relative for example,

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you have a father who passed away and he left behind, say for example, 75 million greengage let's make it a bit interesting, okay.

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75 million green days. And you are there. Your brother is there. And that says the chances of your brother looking after you are quite big, especially if you've been brought up together in a decent home. So Allah subhanho wa Taala has dictated that the brother gets 50 million and you get 25 million in here. Everybody gets up and say that's unfair, unfair, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. That 50 million is not exclusively for him. But the 25 million is exclusively yours. That's how special daughters are 25 million exclusively yours. What do you do with it? Well, it's just exclusively yours for over and above the duty. So what happens with the 50 million, that man if he's

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the closest male relative to you guess what he owes you food, clothing, accommodation and basic necessities such as medicine and so on, he needs to look after you with what within is 50 million. And on top of that he has his own wife to look after. And on top of that he has his own daughters and children to look after. And on top of that he may be having so many other responsibilities. So if you divide the 50 million into the 10 people that he has to look after, it's on average 5 million each, you are sitting with 25 billion. And guess what, you've just got another five

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simple logic, the problem people are blaming Islam because some of the males are running away from that responsibility. That's the reason. So don't blame Islam. It's a perfect system. The problem is we've stopped following it in the way we are supposed to

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a movement and the movement of a true believing male

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Females should be such that when they believe and they claim to believe they surrender to what Allah says,

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meaning

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a goon Allahu

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Allah says, it is not for a believing male or female, that when Allah or his messenger have decided something, they feel they have a choice in that regard to believing males and females feel we don't have a choice in this regard. Come time for Salah, I don't have a choice, I must fulfill dressing a specific way, I don't have a choice I must fulfill come to worshiping Allah alone, I don't have a choice, I must fulfill abstaining from something prohibited, I don't have a choice, I must abstain.

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So look at how a female gets more, I can let you in on something even greater.

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If you are only one female, you are the only daughter, for example. And the rest of the relatives happen to be distant, like you might have an uncle, you know the deceased man has brothers and sisters, and he has you as a daughter. Guess what? Allah dictates in the Quran that you give her half of the wealth. Half of it must go to her herself.

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Even if her mother is alive, meaning

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even if the wife of that man who passed on is alive, it's worded that way.

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The doctor will get half 50% Why? Because now the male relatives are a little bit more distant, the chances of them dilly dallying become a little bit greater.

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So Allah says, Don't worry, it's still his duty. But in case he doesn't, you can go ahead, this is an amount that will cover you by the will of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And on top of that, if you would do girls, just two daughters, guess what? You go away with two thirds 66.66% of that wealth. That is the biggest share in inheritance, it goes to the females. The biggest change? No way does it say a male will get 66% never. It's only for females. Why? Because daughters

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especially. That's the reason so special that Allah has dedicated an entire surah in the Quran. So to Nissan. Have you ever seen a sewer sewer to recharge.

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So

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there is a whole chapter known as the female, the women, there is no chapter known as the men. And in May Allah speaks of the treatment of women, and how you have to be even more patient with them. And how you have to be kind, you have to consider that their emotions are slightly different. You have to make sure that you have taken care of them in a beautiful way because they are special.

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Sugata Missa starts off by making mention of a child who doesn't even have a father to defend her.

00:33:02--> 00:33:18

Surah Nisa starts off by making mention of alia Tama, those who are orphans, those who don't even have a father to defend them. And Allah says, Be careful, do not usurp the wealth of the orphans. While kulu

00:33:21--> 00:33:30

come, don't eat their wealth, don't mix their wealth with yours, give them their do, it is dead. Don't cheat the women out of their share in inheritance daughters, especially.

00:33:33--> 00:33:53

You know, if a father passes on, and he may have left some properties and business, sometimes you find that women don't really know what was going on. So you find male relatives coming in and saying, you know, your father had this and this and this. And they have a huge building in the center of KL and they come to you and say that building was 1 million greengage and you say,

00:33:54--> 00:34:29

and you don't know it was actually 100 million. What did they do to you? They loved you because you didn't know. So Allah wants them to say Hang on, don't drop them. Don't take advantage of the fact that they might be ignorant of what was there. No, you value it correctly. You give it to them correctly, you make sure you give it to them on time you make sure you look after them, they are special. That is the way you will earn paradise when Allah completes the verses of inheritance and how it is supposed to be split. You know what he says? He says whoever is going to fulfill these rules correctly for them will be paradise.

00:34:31--> 00:34:43

These are the limits of Allah. And whomsoever is going to use sip, and whomsoever is going to cheat for them. What is more befitting than to be cast into Hellfire, Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us all.

00:34:45--> 00:34:49

So this is the gift of Allah subhanho wa Taala because daughters especially

00:34:50--> 00:34:53

if we go beyond the issue of

00:34:54--> 00:34:59

inheritance, and I've explained it to you in a nutshell, let's go to the issue of the dress code.

00:35:00--> 00:35:22

dwell on it for a few moments. Like I said moments ago, we don't want to judge our sisters, based on the pressure of the environment and society for them to show what they have, when what they have was given by Allah, your complexion given to you by Allah, your build given to you by Allah.

00:35:24--> 00:35:32

You're the type of hair you have given to you by Allah. It is pagan to judge based on that.

00:35:33--> 00:36:25

Totally pagan, unacceptable. So Allah says, in order to give you the honor, we asked you to concede that's it. In order to give you the dignity, let's pause, you might argue that okay, this was a long time ago, before the Islamic period that they did that. I want to tell you, we've come back to the stage today, perhaps the pressure of society is worse than the pagan time. The reason I say this, at that time, they oppressed women with women knowing that they were oppressed. Today they are, they are abusing female in a way that the females look forward to the abuse. That's what it is. They have, when they decided a long time ago, when they saw that we can no longer make use of the nude

00:36:25--> 00:36:53

women to fulfill our lusts and desires to be paraded in front of us. They chose to do something more intelligence, they said to themselves, we will design clothing for them, we will make sure that we make it in thing by promoting it in the media. And by using whether it is movies or adverts or whatever else in order to promote what they are supposed to be doing.

00:36:55--> 00:36:59

In such a way that they consider it liberation,

00:37:00--> 00:37:01

to remove their clothing.

00:37:03--> 00:37:44

So when they remove their clothing, they are now liberated. I remember in Africa, one of the leaders was commenting about how the world has forced women through you know, brainwashing them to remove their clothing and consider that liberation. And he said we in Africa. Many years back before the colonialist came in. We used to wear feathers and skins to cover our private paths. And we used to move around with spears and daggers. And here comes the colonialist and tells us that you know what? This is backwards. This is really backward. It's unacceptable. You people are Bushmen, they called us Bushmen. You know, Allah subhanho wa Taala forgive us.

00:37:46--> 00:37:59

They call us Bushmen. And they said you people are not even clothed. And they came through with beautiful clothing, to be honest, that covered the female and even gave her a Victorian cap, which had a net. So Panama,

00:38:00--> 00:38:02

covered her so beautifully.

00:38:04--> 00:38:25

And now the same African is saying why we were liberated, you took away our liberation, because according to you, now, you have changed everything. And you are now going back to where we were by saying you go back and put on the skin and put on the feathers and just cover the front and the back and you're liberated.

00:38:28--> 00:38:37

So we were already there. You took us out of civilization when you brought us into degradation. And now according to you, you're taking us back

00:38:38--> 00:38:39

to civilization.

00:38:40--> 00:38:42

But that's not the case.

00:38:43--> 00:39:11

It means there is something sinister, it means a brain and the mind that is thinking mind will actually go and ponder and will say definitely something is wrong here. Something is wrong. Daughters especially. You're not supposed to be nude. Just for the desires of men and people don't really for myself. No you're not. Cannot be I'm doing it for myself. No, I tell you why. If you put on two pounds of weight you will cover

00:39:14--> 00:39:15

trust me it's perfect.

00:39:16--> 00:39:19

It shows that you're enslaved total enslavement.

00:39:20--> 00:39:26

If there is a small blemish on your head, you won't go out. You need something.

00:39:27--> 00:39:34

Make sure even if it means 30 minutes and it means 300 pinky one fumble with it with it. At least when I go out there we'll

00:39:36--> 00:39:36

know.

00:39:38--> 00:39:59

I remember when I first came across this beauty camera, you know they have a beauty camera takes off all your blemishes gone, you know. So I first came across the beauty camera. And I thought to myself, you know if women maybe even men could actually move around with a little screen in front of them just so that when you look you can just see a filtered image already. They will do so

00:40:00--> 00:40:03

It might happen one day, so kind of lazy little screens walking.

00:40:04--> 00:40:10

That is how enslaved we are we are embarrassed because of the normal natural pimples that we have to see.

00:40:12--> 00:40:20

We're embarrassed because of that. Why? Because we are enslaved to a certain extent. It's not bad to look good Subhana Allah.

00:40:21--> 00:40:27

But within the limits, remember, why are you doing it? Allah says don't do it for the opposite sex because it won't stop.

00:40:28--> 00:41:00

If you do it for for Allah subhanho wa Taala for your spouse, for example, for a good purpose, you know, you want to feel good, you're not going to show it to the world, perhaps Yes, but if a person is doing it for the opposite sex, it is called the barcode, the barcode meaning you are too special to engage in that you're not allowed to engage in the barcodes to show off to other men, something that's not even there's make the wish, you know, Allah forgive us. For what, and like I said,

00:41:01--> 00:41:04

Allah sometimes subhana wa Taala

00:41:05--> 00:41:45

gives us these beautiful rulings in such a way that if we were to ponder over them, we would realize that is a gift for other sisters, you might be gorgeous, you might be Mashallah the most, you know, good looking. So pretty everything you can show, wait, wait, look at the others around you, perhaps you are putting pressure on them, perhaps you are a reason why their home is breaking because now the men are becoming used to a certain figure that they are being bombarded with all along. daughters are too special for that if you want to contribute to building their homes, you need to also dress appropriately.

00:41:47--> 00:41:47

That's a fact.

00:41:50--> 00:41:55

You may not have understood what I said, let me say it in a different way. Sometimes what happens is

00:41:57--> 00:42:39

a person who may not be up to the tip top shape that the world wants to see, would be looking at those who are exposing themselves and burning in her heart to say, well ally, she doesn't know what she's doing in my marriage and in my home, just by exposing I don't have that hair, I don't have this, I don't have that. So what does she do, she will go to have an operation in order to change the creation of Allah, she will go because she's dissatisfied, she's not happy, she will go and try and change her shape completely and her face and she will go in for plastic surgery and she will still not be satisfied. And she will go in for so much more. Just because there are a few who are

00:42:39--> 00:42:49

Mashallah gifted by Allah, but they are showing that all to create a training and an environment of enslavement of the female. That's what it is enslavement.

00:42:51--> 00:43:10

Take a look at these products that we have in the market. beauty products. I'm not saying they're bad, don't get me wrong, you may want to use those that are permissible. Yes. Like I said, you have every right to be looking, you know, presentable and good, according to you, but why are you doing it? That's the question. That's all

00:43:12--> 00:43:21

the amount of money being used by people to try and change their complexion, go and Google it, check it is unacceptable.

00:43:22--> 00:43:24

Why? What is so bad.

00:43:28--> 00:43:33

And this is why Islam has made it clear that your complexion is chosen by Allah.

00:43:34--> 00:43:51

There is no virtue of a person coming from Africa over the one who comes from Arabia and vice versa, except by their closeness to Allah. So my sisters, my daughters, you are too special to be bothered about things that Allah has chosen for you.

00:43:52--> 00:43:55

That having been said, I'm not saying just let yourself go.

00:43:56--> 00:44:02

You know, people might say okay, someone your husband might say you gained 20 kilos in the last two weeks whenever since that's great, but

00:44:05--> 00:44:16

that's not what I'm trying to say. Yes, you need to be fit. You might want to for example, you know, people have asked me Is it wrong to go to the gym? To be honest, let's change the question.

00:44:18--> 00:44:26

Is it wrong to keep fit? No, it's not. You have to where you do it, how you do it, what environment you do, bear in mind, you're a Muslim man. That's all

00:44:27--> 00:44:46

simple. I'm not saying don't have your work out every day, half an hour one hour Mashallah you can work out you can do whatever so panel about where and how and when you do it. Remember your minute Europe believing female, you need to consider the fact that would if I were to die here and now

00:44:47--> 00:44:50

would Allah be pleased with me? Question. Very simple.

00:44:52--> 00:44:59

This is the speciality. This is what Allah Subhana what Allah has made you special by now let's get to some beautiful narrations

00:45:00--> 00:45:26

Were the prophets of Allah Salam once was faced. In fact, let me start off with a hadith of Ayesha of the Lama, where she says I was seated and a woman came in with two girls, two little daughters, and she begged, she came to ask for something. And I didn't have much besides a date or two, and I gave her two days, and she didn't eat any from it. And she gave one day to one of the children and the other to the other, he went away. And when the Prophet sallallahu Sallam came, I told him about it. And he said,

00:45:27--> 00:45:40

anyone who has been blessed with such girls, and looks after him and feeds them, for them will be paradise. So Panama, why give his daughters a special let's go to another edition of

00:45:42--> 00:45:44

the Ranger incentive imagine.

00:45:45--> 00:45:54

And even in Mr. De Lima, Muhammad, the Prophet sallahu wa salam spoke about girls, and he says, Whoever has three daughters, wherever has three daughters,

00:45:55--> 00:46:14

and looks after them, takes care of them. Bears patience, regarding them. Wow. When I read that, in the Hadith some time back, I used to think what is it very impatience regarding sabara you know, very patience regarding them, firstly means.

00:46:15--> 00:46:18

And to be honest, I've got quite a few daughters Mashallah myself.

00:46:20--> 00:46:58

So, it means to be happy at the fact that you have the daughters number one, you can gender for that. Number two, to look after them knowing that they don't belong to you, they will be married to someone one day, who will have a greater right over them than you. Number three, to bring them up to enjoy to spend on them, to feed them to look after them, to be able to nurture them to try and give them some guidance to show them the light and so on. And that will happen together with their mother if the mother is there, and you should participate in that a lot of the men they think, oh,

00:47:00--> 00:47:05

you educate a man. If educated the men, you educate a woman, you've educated the whole.

00:47:06--> 00:47:48

There You are Subhan Allah. So they tell you well, it's a woman's job. It's not it's it belongs to both of you, mother and father equally responsible, one might have more time perhaps, sometimes both of them don't have that much you have to make the time those are your children, your responsibility, you have to make the time. That's what it is. So to educate them, to be able to give them good guidance, to be able to be a role model for them. It is wrong for us to think that I have my daughters, and I have my children. And here we are, let me just go and sit, give them some form of education and I have not participated in their life. I want my child to read Salah, but I don't read

00:47:48--> 00:48:25

Salah I want my child to dress appropriately, but I don't I want my child to read the Quran melodiously but I haven't made an effort. No, Allah has kept it such that from the child from the age of infancy, that child will mimic and imitate you, whatever you do. You try and read from the childhood or on how many little children read the recite the Quran without being able to actually read because they've heard but with us, it's all about songs and it's all about everything else. And it's all about, you know, the dance floor and what have you. That's what's happening.

00:48:27--> 00:49:08

I'm not saying it's wrong, perhaps I'm not saying it's wrong to sing a decent machine or something that has good meaning to it and so on within the limits of Allah subhanho wa Taala No, but how can you substitute the Quran with something, that's the thing. You have the Quran, it's right in front of you, you need to understand, so these girls are going to grow up and you're going to be spending on them. It is wrong for you when the child is getting married. Like some of the cultures do, they draw up a list okay, you need to pay for one. This was the amount we paid at the hospital when your wife was born. This was the your fiance this will lie and this is some of the cultures I'm not I'm

00:49:08--> 00:49:36

not actually joking, this is happening. And then they say this is the amount of school fees we pay. This is the hospital fee when she was sick so many times this is what we took her on holiday XML time this is what we spent on a one liner give you a list and they tell you right you need to pay $65,000 and you know what we will give you 10 years or 15 years or 20 years you continue paying your entire life. That's not a commodity. What gender Do you want in return you you are getting cash?

00:49:38--> 00:49:41

Well, it is a culture I witnessed it in Africa as well.

00:49:42--> 00:49:46

And even in other places, there are different cultures even more weird. You'll be surprised

00:49:48--> 00:49:49

when Islam says you honor

00:49:50--> 00:49:59

a female daughter's a special look after them. They will result in your entry into gentlemen because you nurture them you spent on her and you have the big heart to give her away.

00:50:00--> 00:50:11

for the right reasons, you don't give her away solely because it's the son of your friend. You don't give her away solely because oh, I wanted to do this and that that's a big businessman. If my daughter's married, then who is going to be good?

00:50:12--> 00:50:39

You make sure you concentrate on the dean on the religion, the o'clock don't make a mistake, your child will be depressed in a wealthy home. And I'm not saying all wealthy homes are bad from amongst us, they may be people who are wealthy. But at the same time, what we need to know is Allah subhanho wa Taala has kept certain rulings. And one of them is when you want to marry, you need to be on a similar level of Deen. If you're not, it won't go for

00:50:41--> 00:50:44

you, if you are married to someone.

00:50:45--> 00:50:54

If you are married to someone who doesn't have a similar understanding of the deen as yours, it's going to be a very turbulent path. Remember that?

00:50:56--> 00:50:59

This is why the adage says follow be that

00:51:00--> 00:51:06

you want to marry become victorious by concentrating on the point of Deen

00:51:07--> 00:51:14

the faith of the person? How serious are they regarding their link with their maker, that's what you need to look at.

00:51:15--> 00:51:29

But at the same time, my mothers and sisters, when a man looks after all, nurtures his daughters and gets them married and has born the patience he he swallows, you know, they say

00:51:31--> 00:51:52

he bites the bullet so to speak, he swallows the pill of letting her leave the home yet she was most loved to him and go to someone else in a way that now she starts her own life. And he allows her to have a say in who she's going to get married to. Amazing. That's something important.

00:51:54--> 00:52:24

He allows people thinking Islam she doesn't have a say, well, it that is worse than the pagan times. Because we've come so far. How on earth could we be such that we say no, the Stata doesn't have a say she doesn't have a safe, she can refuse. That's what she does have. She can say I don't want. And she can ask you see, she can suggest things. And if you don't have reason to refuse, you should not you're not allowed to actually you have no reason.

00:52:25--> 00:52:37

And if you do without reason, she can divert that guardianship from you to someone else and continue with the marriage. May Allah forgive us? We become so so narrow minded in this regard at times.

00:52:39--> 00:52:50

What gender what paradise Do you want through your daughters, if you haven't even looked after them, you haven't participated in their lives, you haven't even got them married, to whom they wanted to marry?

00:52:53--> 00:52:59

Obviously, unless you had solid grounds, may Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the ability to strike a balance.

00:53:01--> 00:53:16

I'm not giving a green light to children to say just defy your parents. No. But it needs to be from the beginning, a decent understanding, we need to know what is required of you. What is it that your parents require from you, and what is required of you as parents.

00:53:17--> 00:53:20

So this is when you earn gender when you've taken good care of them.

00:53:21--> 00:53:27

I told you I started off with marriage. And here I'm coming to the end. The issue of marriage as well.

00:53:30--> 00:53:44

daughters are so special, that when a male marries a female, he is reminded constantly that who you have married is the special child of someone dear to someone.

00:53:47--> 00:54:14

So we tell the husbands that when you look at your wife, don't just look at her as your wife. That's not the only title she has. She had the title before that which was more dear and more valuable. What was it? She's the daughter of so so she also has her own family that loves her and respect her. So do not disrespect her. Do not abuse her. Like they say don't make her cry.

00:54:17--> 00:54:20

You know when my wife cries, I always tell her I'm supposed to

00:54:21--> 00:54:43

I'm not supposed to allow you to cry. She says I cry out of joy. Mashallah. Okay, that's good. That's a good sign. So if you're crying out of joy and happiness and Hamdulillah, but if you're crying out of, you know, sadness, you're stuck. There's no way forward will lie. Allah has heard the cry of a wife and a daughter.

00:54:44--> 00:55:00

If you take a look at Sugata, Magellan named after a woman who came through in order to present her case to Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam where the husband became disinterested in her, listen to this, and I shall I will end on this note

00:55:00--> 00:55:10

I tell you very interestingly there was a woman known as Allah, Allah Allah and so what happened to her is she was married and Mashallah

00:55:11--> 00:55:41

you know, a pretty beautiful woman next thing expecting she has a child and when you have a child what happens to panela people forget that you've now gone children, you've, you've graduated into a new level of you know, motherhood now and so on, you will not be the same girl you used to be 20 years back, things have to change, perhaps you may change in so many ways, you become wiser. And perhaps you may even become a little bit heavier. Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us ease.

00:55:42--> 00:55:45

She complained because her husband started

00:55:47--> 00:56:20

losing interest or showed disinterest she was not interested. And he started saying whenever she was trying to get him get his attention, he would say you just like my mother. Okay, you know you just like a mother to you just like my sister and so on. She went to Mohammed Salah Salaam crying, we've been complaining, what do I do? This man is saying this to me, he he refuses to touch me at the same time. He is the one who impregnated me, he gave me the children. He is the one who did this, this this when I married him I was in tip top shape and so on.

00:56:23--> 00:57:02

My mother's and sisters, I just want to pause for a moment to tell you that that does not mean that when you have given birth, you should just lose yourself No, go back, you will be able to retain a lot if you work on it. May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us whether they are setups, leg ups, whatever you want to call them, they work. Trust me, they actually work dedicatedly so don't use a hadith in order for you to throw yourself you know, to the side. No work on it. You will feel good by the will of Allah like I said do it for the right reasons. Going back to this narration so as she's complaining, do you know what happened? The Prophet salallahu alaihe salam? Obviously it's a

00:57:02--> 00:57:05

difficult situation, what do you say you need to convince the men

00:57:06--> 00:57:12

verses were revealed you but the semi, colon la de da de la cabeza

00:57:14--> 00:57:28

de la. Indeed, a la has heard the argument of the woman who has come to you complaining

00:57:29--> 00:57:43

to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah has heard it, and then he gives the response and it's a long set of verses where Allah speaks of the punishment of those who say those type of statements and how special and important the woman is.

00:57:45--> 00:57:46

You don't say these words.

00:57:47--> 00:58:27

So May Allah subhanho wa Taala help us to make the correct decisions in life. May we be from amongst those who really worship Allah and Allah alone. May we be from among those who are special not only in the words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and in the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But in reality, we need to lead our lives in a way that we can be considered special, even by those around us. What's the point of just going out and saying I'm special and special. What's so special about you? That's what people might say, to be honest, live your life in such a beautiful way the way you talk the way you come across your dedication to the deen your fulfillment of your duties,

00:58:27--> 00:59:05

your worship of Allah subhanho wa Taala your connection with the sooner Mohamed Salah Salem it will be such that Subhanallah your character will show your conduct will show in such a beautiful way people will consider you special they will miss you when you're not there. They will want to be in your company. That company needs to be free of gossip and backbiting and slander and bad word say good things about one another and inshallah you will achieve a lot May Allah Subhana Allah bless us all. These are a few words that I have actually, you know chosen to say but at the same time I hope to be back later with a different topic or sallallahu wasallam robotic Allah and Amina Mohammed

00:59:07--> 00:59:09

Mohammed shadow ally land