Pornography and Sexual Impatience

There are a lot of

fitting involved in just having a phone or just having a laptop or computer or just having internet. How does one as a Muslim and especially with this our audience, a lot of our audience are like young Muslims brothers and sisters, how would one tackle such things because we can't remove access to devices internet, it's not possible anymore. Yeah, I get what you mean one of the biggest ones obviously

corruptive forces, like I would call is pornography obviously like, right.

And this is, I mean, I think we can tackle this because I haven't really spoken about this topic

properly. But

I think we can tackle this topic in a variety of different ways you can think of the social the kind of Yeah, you can say social effects of pornography. Yeah. And you can also think about the psychological effects. So kind of to to dichotomize it, make it into two different things to different social and what sorry, social psychological. So social is more to do with obviously the collective society, societal unit, and then obviously a psychological, we mean, more about the individual fine. So talking about the social is interesting, because actually, the feminists disagree upon this and feminist discourse has actually splintered on this issue. And this is

actually referred to as the feminist sex wars. Whereas, or some other names like this, where it's basically feminists are disagreeing with pornography is a good thing or a bad thing. Okay? So some of them obviously have been very much against it.

Like Andrea, I forget her name but she's she's a radical feminists against pornography measures against pornography she's written but just as a side note, I'm hopefully gonna be buying in like a lot and like, because a lot on baddeck I think you overestimate how intelligent we are. And so, sometimes, when you I want to, I want to I want to break

down.

So basically, like the question is this, what what is it all about? It was there was another book very, very famous called pornified, written by Pamela Paul. Okay. Yeah. Pamela Paul, she wrote a book called bona fide and basically, she, although there are some methodological like, limitations of the book, because it she goes into sociology and stuff. Basically, the argument is that pornography from a social sociological perspective, it links to rape, it links to child abuse, always a child abuse we're talking about, well, under the age of 18, like maybe we're talking about even five year olds, four year olds, things like that. We're talking about incest, like, people

become more interested in people in their own families, stuff like that. And we're talking about things, commodification of objectification of women. Yeah. So that's the argument that the kind of, you could say, a radical feminist to other feminists who disagree and other people, not just feminists, right? who disagree with the idea of pornography, or not on a societal level put forward. And actually, there is some very compelling evidence to, to that, in terms of how much pornography is actually linked to, to these things that we've just mentioned, it is linked quite, quite a lot. And actually, the FBI,

the amount of cases that they've had to deal with in terms of child pornography and child abuse, in the last 10 to 20 years has been expertise has been like exponential comparative to what came before it. So that there is strong evidence that actually because of there is a physiological, psychological, neurological reasoning behind it. So when someone watches pornography, obviously, dopamine is to create from the brain and this is going more to the physiological side of it. And they want to see more and more hardcore stuff, and it actually becomes an addiction. And this is actually something which is in society, what established

even the NHS now they have, they've labeled it as a kind of psychological disorder, sex addiction, and underneath that pornography addiction means that yeah, I think, yeah, definitely the NHS the DSM have, which is the manual, the DSM manual is the psychological manual, that the renew every decade or so in which which kind of lists all the psychological disorders and this is one of them. So, pornography is first first and foremost a social problem, because it does more against the cause of women, it degenerates them at commodifies commodifies them or objectifies them. But also here you have the problem of

you have the problem. Now we're going on to the second strand of psychological problem. Okay, before we go into psychological

you mentioned well, feminists who would anti pornography are there feminists who are pro? Yeah, there are other feminists out there basically, usually liberal feminist and they argue that women can easily the argument is that you can do every one with your body, and and the woman expressing herself in that way. should be okay. But however, the counter argument to that is that the liberal premise as per john Stuart Mill's harm principle and stuff like that is that you're free to do whatever you want, so long as you don't harm anyone else. Okay. But then the counter argument would be that actually the pornography industry by

degenerating with movement by commodifying them objectifying them is not Islamic is hard it is because it's moving in the direction of ravers moving in the direction of child abuse. And that's where it becomes a very serious argument because when you're saying that, okay, actually, pornography has the effect of a human on a human being whereby they actually need now to enact some of the things that they're doing and they want to go more and more hardcore. And there's evidence of this, whereby it's more likely to reach pedophilic proportions and it goes to that extent, then we say, Okay, well hold on now, because now we're talking about children's rights. And now we're

talking about other women's rights and we're talking about human trafficking because actually, there's a link between pornography, human trafficking, and enhances this entitlement within men because men become much more entitled, when it comes to pornography, and it's like, okay, they they have this sensuality, and now they want to just click a button and be Titleist straight away. What does Titleist mean? It just means

stimulating stimulated, okay, fine. And stimulated, click the button be Titleist. And basically, that's the job done. So that gives them a sense of entitlement. And from that perspective, now, they feel like they can go left, right and center telling women to do things for them as if they have the right to do that hierarchy. Yeah. So from from a sociological perspective, even even an even a feminist, an ardent radical feminists like Andrea, I forget her name. And Naomi, I forget her surname as well. But there are these are and obviously Pamela, Paul and others.

They would all argue that basically, this is a this is a social ill, which does anything does does more to degenerate the case of women and to put them under the feet of

the patriarchal foot of the man. Okay. Makes sense. Yeah. And then there's a second strand, as you're saying, of the kind of psychological basis of so this is where it gets really, really interesting. And I want to connect this to sexual intercourse actually, generally speaking, because it's a bit of a taboo topic that often Muslims talk about enough. Frankly, I feel like Muslims today talk about it less than the Muslims of yesterday, in the sense that I feel like there's a lot in the Quran and Sunnah about sexual intercourse. A lot in the scholarly works about sexual intercourse.

But for cultural reasons, basically, like we made it a taboo topic that we don't talk about anymore. What about those who say that like, like, obviously, we know the impact the importance of shyness in a man? And that's that kind of a topic seems to be that just shy of speaking. Yeah. Okay. I'm not saying I'm speaking about all the time and in the crisis, let in the lower layers, that Allah subhanaw taala does not does not shy away from the truth.

Okay, so this is why I feel like sometimes it is healthy to talk about these things fine.

So let me first of almost say, like psychological terms,

there's a lot of research that's been done, like

I forget the studies now, but basically, the studies that show that basically have photos of of what pornography is a psychological disorder, when it's actually an addiction? Yeah, even when it's not an addiction, it can become an addiction quite easily. And that is because when someone watches that stuff, basically they become more accustomed to it, and it becomes more normal for them. So they want more of a kick next time, so it becomes more and more hardcore.

So this dopamine rush that they keep wanting, drives them to watch it more and more. This is linked by many, like, for example, Zachary incarna.

He links this with things like bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression, okay? Why? Because actually, when you a lot of people when they feel basically sad, to put it in a simple way, when they feel sad, they watch pornography or they feel lazy, or when they feel bored, they watch pornography. So when they watch that, what happens is, that becomes like their recourse, their psychological recourse. So instead of dealing with the anxiety, that they may have pre existing anxiety that they may have think of as a crack on the windscreen. Yeah. Instead of dealing with it cognitively or thinking about it, they just retreat to just quick solutions. So think of it like

comfort food, make sense? So someone who's who's who's got problems on his hands, we've got things that they've got to do, instead of dealing with those things, or thinking about those problems. Think about solutions, cognitive and psychological solutions. They just like eating chocolate, and slightly indulging in ice cream. Right? From that perspective, all that does is it kind of puts a cover and artificial cover of the problem. So actually, what this does, it gives one a very quick, short term kind of comfort. And that's what that's what pornography does. So give someone very, very quick and when we say very quick, by the way, there are statistics that tell us how quick it is. So

for example, there's one sexual photography website with BuzzFeed that done like

a study using Google Analytics, and they've basically been able to track how many people go into pornography websites, and they said about 30% in the UK, in the UK, in the West, generally, are women. In Brazil, there was a high number of women in the Muslim world a bit less number of women anyways, the point is, there's a lot of women going on pornography. The topics are another interesting like what they actually research. And that could be another thing we could talk about, but they

Go on it. And basically, when they go into pornography website, they spend on average watching a video about six minutes, six to seven minutes. So think about Think of it this way, a person a consumer goes on the pornography website for about six to seven minutes, because that's enough to get them to almost climax, right?

So, so they will kind of six, seven minutes or so average according to this kind of thing. And then after that the the climax by masturbating usually. And then after that they feel they feel a sense of relief. Now six to seven minutes of pleasure is not going to quote your problem in life, right? It's not going to help you anxiety in life. This is actually and what's really ironic about it, and this links to another problem sociological problem, which actually is panela. You know, Islam as a cure for this, like, it really is interesting. Well, that's what I was going to ask next, to be honest, there's gonna be if there are people who have this addiction, and they want to stop it, etc,

etc. What do they do? Right? Okay, so let me just quickly finish up what I was saying about the problem. So this issue, and by the way, it's not just anxiety and bipolar disorder and depression. It also links to some studies, which I'm not sure how reliable they are, but I can look into it, which talks about reducing the size of the brain actually reduces. So watching being a porn addict reduces the size of the physical human brain

has really neurologically rewires your brain washing. It's a serious addiction. Now, you can be addicted to things that people don't realize they can be for example, sugar, people can be addicted to sugar. Even from a secular perspective here, I'm talking from a secular perspective, we know spiritually is haram. I'm not gonna say this, but everyone knows it like okay, this is haram. Of course, we know. It's prohibited in Islam for so many reasons. Right? So that's why I'm not going down that route, because everyone has heard this before. You know, even as a Christian, you would have heard in the Bible, it says that you're looking at a woman lustfully is like, it's like,

committing adultery with her, you know, Jesus. So it's well known, like in religious faith that this is a bad is a bad thing, right? haram well known, but he was talking like, even from a secular perspective, a porn addict is a depressed, anxious bipolar disorder.

Like it's possible for that person to have bipolar, bipolar disorder, kind of person, he's at risk, or she's at risk.

So that's the that's the issue. And what is even worse than this is and this is the irony, and it goes back to discussion we're having about feminism is that 29%. And I'll try and get you to study hopefully, on my phone or something, I might have a note something like this.

Listen to this, right.

29% of women who report like the sociological studies done in America, and one of the universities Yeah. And they said, over 75% of men, when they have sexual intercourse, they climax. Basically, the climax, yeah.

And 29, less than 29% of women climax. One of the issues is this is because men, and remember, men are the majority of consumers of pornography. Right? So men are the majority consumers of progress. So for that reason, they're used to that instant gratification. One of the side effects of pornography is that actually hinders someone's sexual life, as we know, so this and this was a study done by like this thing, there's this organization called j Ma. Yeah, Jamal, I don't know how to pronounce it. I've a demo de ma. And they said, basically,

that watching pornography excessively, it does sexual activity. So basically, when you watch more of it, you become less pleasured with sex, sex, because this is a straightforward finding right?

Now, how would you compare this and why am I mentioning this? It's really interesting. Why? Because the problem I have is that I said and he actually gave us guidance on how to have sexual intercourse.

Okay, now this might sound a bit taboo a bit weird, a bit, whatever. But

when you consider the state of affairs in the Western world, because this these studies are kind of like a microcosm of the Western world, and I'm not saying that every man can't satisfied like a majority of men can't satisfy women in the West, because that would be quite hard for me to say that and I don't think a small scale sociological experiment could prove that. But what I am saying is that there's a stress in Islam because a lot of people you know, the headings of the problems are somewhat says that if a woman doesn't give her husband sexual intercourse, that the angels will will cut Yes, yes.

Okay, fine. A lot of people caught that and say, Well, how comes is not an equivalent for the woman? Yeah, that is they have not read the Islamic corpus because actually there is so many ladies talking about the importance of a man pleasuring the woman okay. So for example, like

Muslims are given guidance and Islamic discourse of how to pleasure a woman

and some of the guidances are mentioned by Mohammed Josie and his his a book is called Zettel mad. Obviously, he wrote a book called

anyways in my videos is old school school, and he based on a Hadith, some of the things like for example, and that a woman,

the Prophet Muhammad, Hassan, Hassan,

diff which is narrated by Muslim, Muslim Ahmed and the Sahaba Nakajima, it says that the former husband can a masala say he used to suck. Usually the words they suck the tongue of Asia or the liner. So one of the recommended practices of a man before engaging in sexual intercourse with a woman is to kiss her

and to basically use his tongue. While she's doing that. I know this might sound a bit. How many times have you heard that? Have you heard this? Never, never. Okay, so why is it important? It's important because actually, this is the rights of women. These are the rights of women. You know what I mean? Like you say if if something is hot, or if it's part of religion, we should be discussing religion itself. Right? It's, it's just, it's definitely I think a taboo subject is, is definitely weird. But we look women are being oppressed.

Seriously, I think it's appropriate. I think it's good to shine a light on something. I'm sure is a situation for a lot of people. So I think it's healthy to have jabber jabber Yeah. Which isn't to say, Why does a Muslim I think both? Were the problem as I said, he said to jabber Why don't you marry? Why don't you marry Like a Virgin so that she can play with you and you can play with her.

So the idea of playing foreplay is really really emphasized in the in the Islamic discourse with women, like a man fought like foreplay, kissing, using tongue touching. This kind of thing is very, very important. As from the adverb of Jamal is really important. Now, the thing is, with photography, culture, what we've discussed kind of here like is a man is unable to be patient. Why? Because remember, we said that he's he's used to instant being utilized instantly.

When he's used to being a statistic show that right? So because of that, he's got that entitlement. He just wants to literally finish the job get that he get, he wants to get pleasure for himself. He doesn't really care if he is not concerned with pleasure for his other half and Islam is haram. Okay. And one of the majors are, in fact, doing that consistently. may give a woman a right to divorce a man. Okay. So basically, what I'm trying to say long story short, is that pornography actually hinders your psychological well being the sociological environment, and your sex life. So all the things you want to get from, from from pornography, you end up getting the opposite of it,

right. From a secular perspective, we're not even reaching Islamia. But I'm saying everything that you want from pornography. It's as simple as this. Everything you're seeking in pornography, you end up getting the opposite of it. You want love, you want happiness, you want sexual enjoyment, you end up getting anxiety, depression, and you end up getting

a lack of enjoyment in your sex life. So that's basically the end of it. So first and foremost, if anyone is trying to stop pornography, they have to be acquainted with those facts. And they have to have real reason, right to stop. And the reason must be is that it's better for my spiritual life. Obviously, you know why? I'm not gonna tell you why it's better for the spiritual. You guys know why it's better for your spiritual life is better for your psychological health, as well for the society. That's a good, that's a good enough reason to stop anyone from doing anything in my opinion. Agreed. Do you give me Yes? And do you know what the solution for it is? As in no claim

second?

Is that sexual intercourse?

Now, this might sound a bit what we're talking about sexual intercourse. This is not really a solution as well, because I'm not saying but one of the preventative measures. One of the things that we should be aspiring for as the problem has a certain set of the best. He says, Yeah, Masha Shabaab, oh, young people who can whoever can have you and remember, he said, Whoever can Minister? Yeah, whoever can have you get married, let him get married. Then a guy in Islamic terminal in Islamic

terms is actually a very easy, you notice there's a very easy thing is a process