Mohammed Faqih – Prophetic Policy – Part 4

Mohammed Faqih
AI: Summary ©
The importance of learning from the Prophet sallam Alayhi wa and the need for hope and faith in the church are highlighted in the discussion of the church's stance on marriage. The church's stance is to treat all members of the church in the same way, and the speaker emphasizes the importance of growth and the need for hope in marriage. The process of the Prophet sallama proposal to sell a woman and her success is discussed, along with the importance of peace of mind and leadership qualities in managing time. The speakers also mention a workshop or seminar in Charlottetown and the importance of avoiding conflict and sharing experiences in groups to avoid conflict.
AI: Transcript ©
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Do you want to say you know, what a sulfuryl want to study? When are we later Allah misura and fusina and see it I'm Melina philomela omega little fella howdy Allah. Allah Allah Allah Allahu la sharika Machado Anna Mohammed Abdullah hora Sula, who was he whom have been helping your career? Bella risotto. Amanda uttanasana de la masala to LA he was Salam O Allah wa that

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inshallah to Allah starting tonight we're going to be covering

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the how the Prophet of Allah salallahu alayhi wa sallam realize peace and blessings be upon him, how he dealt with his family, the members of his household, his relatives and those who are very close to him, those who are around him Salalah honey was the first

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part of this section will be how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with his wives and because there are a lot of lessons for us to learn from that, we will have to do it. We won't be able to cover everything. Tonight. As a matter of fact, there is a very important aspect of the prophetic marital life that we are going to inshallah to Allah cover very soon. In the month of February in a seminar format in sha Allah tala and it's for adults only inshallah.

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The private life, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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meryton life was actually shared with us with a great amount of details.

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Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a role model, and he was an example some of our holiday selling for all of us. And because we have to learn from the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wa sallam on everything, whatever we can learn. Now, any couples, intimate life is

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supposed to be off limits, it's not supposed to be public information is supposed to be covered. It's supposed to be, you know, protected, it's supposed to stay between them, they're not supposed to even share it with their own families, right? In the case of the Prophet, sallAllahu, alayhi wasallam, the wives of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, and those within his household, after the passing of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and sometimes in some cases, even when the Prophet sallallahu wasallam was alive, they shared

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quite, you know, to a great extent, they shared a lot of details, because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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as I said,

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the prophets of Allah, so limbs, practice, lifestyle was also a form of legislation. And there's a lesson for us to learn, and there are a lot of rulings for us to learn this particular topic is very important, especially that we live in a time where there's, we're dealing with

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serious family crises, different levels. So for one, divorce rates can be a good indication as to where we're at as a society.

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And globally, marriage, getting married marital issues,

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finding a spouse, staying married, right, is a serious challenge. And there are consequences to that.

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I wasn't able to find

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up to date, reliable studies regarding Muslim countries, but I have a homework for you that shamatha I was going to announce it and then but I might as well just do it now. Maybe you and those who are with us online as well, maybe you can share whether it's on my page or on mscs page, you can maybe share with us statistics and studies,

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especially from your own respective homelands or countries.

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But when you look at Muslim countries, in the top 10, you know,

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off the top of my mind,

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Egypt was there. I think number three, you know, Lebanon, even Saudi Arabia, and there are two, two ways. I mean, there are two two ways you can look at divorce rate one per 1000 people, right? So how many divorces

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or you can look at it, they they measure the divorce rate. They compare it to the number of marriages that took place, right in that particular year that you're researching. So if we're looking at two and a half to a 19, they look at how many marriages

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It took place,

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officially, obviously, compared to how many divorces took place. So they measure the divorce rate based on that, right? Knowing that, by the way, 90% of Americans get married by the age of 50. Right? divorce rate in America is anywhere from 40 to 50%. Less, that's, that's a lot. That's four to five out of every 10 marriages. Right.

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And in a study, and of course, obviously, I just want to go through some of the top, you know, reasons why people get divorced. But before I get to that, you know, there was a study that was published not too long ago,

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that showed that divorce rate, for instance, in Saudi Arabia that was hitting almost almost 30%, right.

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And I'm

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inclined to say that in some places, and in some years, divorce rates can reach as much as 50%, even in Muslim countries and Muslim communities. Now, the divorce rate within the Muslim community in the West, right, is also rising. Right. And again, I'm saying this, and I'm not, you know, it's not based on let's say, lap, two 219 compared to 218. Just generally speaking, within the last decade, there is there is an incline there's, there's a an increase in the number of divorces, or the rate of divorce within the Muslim community.

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When

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researchers look at different reasons for which people get divorced, there are all kinds of reasons. But the ones that caught my attention, were one,

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you know, the number one most complained about cause is a lack of intimacy or love people, you know, fall out of love. And then that said, divorce is a solution. So, and then a study that was done into 2019.

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That included 2371 people who are surveyed 47%, you know, thought that or believed or, you know, that lack of intimacy or love was the cause of their decision to break up or split or divorce from their spouses.

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Another reason, at 44% was communication issues, and problems, and people not being able to really connect anymore. Another reason at 34% was lack of sympathy, lack of drama, right? mercy, lack of

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compassion, lack of respect, lack of trust, lack of very key elements that are very important for any marriage to survive.

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And to, to continue,

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and then growing apart, and this is the one that I want to comment on, you know, 32% of those who were surveyed, they said, We just grew apart.

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We're not, we're not the same individuals anymore. And what I was interested in is to see the actual, like demographic and the age groups, right? And I'm inclined to say that perhaps the longer the couple of spend together, right, the further they drift away from each other, or they grow apart from one another, unless they do something about it. And in the prophetic example, we see

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a lot of lessons I mean, we find lessons and we find solutions for these kinds of issues. Right? So without any further delay, delay, let's let's examine what the life the marital life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, was, now again, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Allah azzawajal says that can Allah configure rasulillah he was to atone Hashanah. We're going to repeat this over and over again until we look at kanakapura Sula, he was watching Hassan that there has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam an excellent example. His parents of Allahu alayhi wa sallam his lifestyle, his relationships Salalah Selim his conduct, the way he

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handled different situations and different people the way he related to them the way he treated them. All of that is in its there is a great example for us for anyone who hopes Allah Subhana Allah and the Last Day and this particular ayah Allah subhanaw taala reminds us of two very important

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elements in the life of every believing men and believing women which is the men can do

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Hola Hola, Liam. And

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now because whatever I may say, you know, some people may say, Well, okay, this is the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasalam this is, you know, you're talking about some ideals of real life is not, you know, we can't do some of this stuff, that's fine. But for those who have hope and trust and faith in Allah, and the last day,

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right, there is a great example in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you can actually emulate the prophets of Allah day seven and follow his example, you can actually use utilize these prophetic remedies for all of the problems that you have in your life.

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So, in my opinion, these are two very important conditions that a lot of people don't pay attention to.

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You know, when we give these examples, we go over these stories, some of us may not be able to relate to them, unless again, we have hope in a lot of faith in Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we believe in the last day in the Hereafter, right, and we continue to have hope in that day.

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So therefore, this requires that we listen to this not only that we are present and that we are engaged in this material, not only intellectually and emotionally, but also spiritually, right.

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We're going to see that people who pray together, you know, can make it through any hardship together, right people who can manage to pray together, because, again, as I said, that growth like people growing apart from one another is one of the major causes why people decide to split and in my opinion, perhaps it may be again, it may be the cause of other types of issues as well. People resent one another, you know, have communication issues when they grow apart from one another.

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having faith in Allah azza wa jal following the example of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, maintaining that faith and hope in the hereafter in the last day, allows you to grow together spiritually. So that is supposed to bring the two individuals together. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in a hadith says to us, therefore ochman Amina a believing man should not resent and hate another, his wife,

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either carry him in ha ha Lacan, if he has an issue with one particular quality and her, he will find another quality that he would be pleased with.

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So, the process on the light I sent him says this, this is not befitting of a believer, that the believer holds one issue or one one deficiency or one flaw against his or her spouse, right.

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Am I am I making sense or not?

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Are you

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by

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No, because I want us to just kind of like reasoned with this and Charlotte diamond like I want us to, to be convinced not only just motivated, but to be convinced that you know, the solution for my marital challenges or problems or whatever is missing is there

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only if I you know decide to exercise and if I decided to and that is not to say that there that we don't have cases where things may not work out, even if you use all of these tools. Sometimes you reach a dead end. And in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his example also, we have

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in the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his life we have an example as to how you approach that as well. If, if a marriage must come to an end, how how should it be done? You know?

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So, what do we look at the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam life, the prophet peace be upon him was married, how many times?

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How many times is the process of them getting married?

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13 1112 Anyone else?

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Africa?

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multiple times, multiple times. Okay. So there are disagreements amongst the scholars as to how many times the Prophet sallallahu Sallam got married, it appears that he got married at least 12 times.

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Right.

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One of these marriages did not last. Right. It was like it ended up in divorce. But the ones that he was married to for some time. Were the ones that are agreed upon are 11. Right? Obviously starting with Khadija all the Aloha, I'm having to boil it. And then

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soda Benzema

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then, Ayesha, mint Aviva and then have salt

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I've been to Oman, and then

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A to Z and Z and I've been to hoceima and hilarya. And Zayn, I've been to Josh and so d almost selama before that Hyndman to omega and Macedonia more Habiba Rama lab interview Sophia

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and mamoon abbington Harris and hilarya and jewelry avington Harris

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and then Sophia into a

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lovely Allahu anhu And may Allah be pleased with them all the mothers of the believers.

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Two of them died in his lifetime

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37 to avoid it. And Zane have been to Hosea, the one that is also known as Omen Misaki right? So they, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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and and Dr. de la Honda was the only one that he was married to.

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Like when he didn't have any other words. So she was the only one of them that he was married to without being married to anyone else at the same time. It was after the death of Khadija and all the Aloha Ananda the prophet SAW the lives of the married soda and then married Ayesha and the merry the rest of them at the same time.

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Khadija is the only one of his wives that with whom he had children, sallAllahu wasallam, he had six according to the most, to the strongest of

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opinions and reports. He had six two boys and four feet, two males and four females.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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So, from this from this, just quick overview we take that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was married

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12 times, right.

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he divorced once Salallahu alaihe salam, one of his wives also, he actually divorced twice, one he took back. One, he did not take back solace. And it was a final, irrevocable divorce. Right.

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And she's not listed as one of his wives. Because that, that divorce was that marriage was not consummated. Okay.

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So the prophet SAW said of also he lost to two of his wives and his lifetime. Right. So the profit center was widowed, as well. So, and from this, some of this comma said, we see that the prophet SAW Oh, also I forgot to say that the Prophet said a married

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the only person that was not married, when the Prophet of the married hurt was at Isha. So he was a virgin. The rest of them are not. Some of them were divorced. Some of them were widows. Some of them had children, some of them didn't have children.

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Right. So, from this, the scholar said that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, almost every situation or scenario applies to him, someone Mahalia Selim. So he can be an example for someone who is marrying,

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you know, a single,

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you know, mother, with children, or without children, or a virgin, or, you know, divorce or widowed, right, so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, almost every situation that you can think of applies to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam in a marriage, right?

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And by studying these examples, and how the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam dealt with them, you can, you'll find the lesson for yourself, or for anyone, right?

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, his marriage to his wives. The 11 wives that he lived with

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was an amazing example. Very inspiring.

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And it makes use of Halloween is a bit emotional. In Halloween, you see how the Prophet sallallahu Sallam in spite of his

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of the responsibilities that he had the pressure that he was under? Right, the concerns that he had the promise of the law, they sell them, gave them attention, plenty of time, love, respect, help, support.

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And he was the best to them. To the point where he himself actually knew that salatu salam, he said, How eurocom hydrocone and he wants

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the best of you are among you are those who are best in treating their enemies family, but it specifically it means it means what? Wife, right.

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And it can refer to a single wife or multiple wives use the same word. Right. And so, the prophet SAW the law they said it says that the best of you are those who are

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who treat their wives in the best of ways? Well, no hydrocone early Indeed, I am the best in treating my wives.

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Now,

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the wives of the Prophet sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, were given the option, at some point to leave him, so the law is in them and have plenty as much as they want.

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And when that option was given to them, each and every single one of them chose to stay with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and be his wife in this life and in the Hereafter.

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And had the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam not been the best in his treatment, right? Have they not, you know, been in love with the promise, I said him as a husband, not as a prophet or as a leader as a source of inspiration. But as a husband, they would have not had to do that, you know.

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Before we go further, did you know that the prophet SAW Selim proposed to someone you know, to Omani, and that Mohammed declined

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this, just in case, just think about that. I was thinking.

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So he proposed to him Mahalia Lila, and her and she declined in the process, and it was fine with that.

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And the Process Center was proposed to there was a woman that came proposal process and sell them and he declined as well. You know, no hard feelings.

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So what was the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam like what did he do? Number one, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would spend quality time with his wives and socialize with them.

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almost on a daily basis. All of them

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have been our best of all the Allahu anhu or the Allahumma. May Allah be pleased with him and his father, if not best said cannot Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he does Allah Subhana Allah Sufi masala

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gela Sophie masala why jennison Nacho hola who had to talk to us chimps to madho Island he said he Moroccan in Milan in LA.

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We sell him why the hinda weather with a hoonah for you that can do more.

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for you that kind of yoga for either the owner can or in the

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right. So, the so even amber says that whenever the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam prayed fudger he would sit

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where he prayed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would stick around and people will sit around him until sunrise. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would go to his wives, one by one. He will go to each one, greet them and pray for them. So he would go salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah. And he would pray for that for each one of them. So he would stop in check on each one of them, greeting them making up for them. He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then stays at the house of the wife who stern was on that day. Right? So let's say when he had five of them, he would make a stop five stops the last of which is what the house of the one whose turn it is. So at some point, the Prophet

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sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would rotate so awesome. So it would, it would take about nine days for him to visit or to stay at the, at the house of the wife. Now notice in this narration, that this he says this is this is something that Prophet sallallahu Sallam did on a daily basis. And it was the first thing that he would do every morning. After coming back from his event from the masjid Solomonic, he will greet them, check on them, make a draft for them, and then he will go to the next one. Right. But that's not where it ends.

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The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam saw importance in this.

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Then

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Ayesha says the following,

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cannot Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he then sort of I mean and also the the Fulani say he said normally after our sort of the process of them had a different routine.

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This is now after the beginning of the day after also the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will go visit, visit them again stop by and this time he would get close to them. He would embrace him some a lot of Islam sits close to them, you know, talk to them, and then he will do that he will he will go to the next one and then the next one and then the next one. And then when it's finally when he reaches that the house of the one

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whose turn it is

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He would spend the night there some a lot he was, right.

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Also, so even he said,

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what the process enemy used to do in the beginning of the day was greeting them and making it for them. And then what he did after also it was a little more, you know, intimate where he would like have conversation with them, and he would actually sit and, you know, converse with them, maybe sometimes they will tell him something that they need to tell him, they will, they would have like quality time and conversation with one another.

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It could involve teaching them something, it could involve just them telling him about their day, it could involve him, so a lot less, and I'm helping them with whatever they need help with. Sometimes it could just be them just sitting. And, you know, telling the Prophet sallallahu wasallam a story, like I told the process, my long story, you know, that is known as Hades. That was

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I shoveled the lava on her, she said callejon lol to Elena Jamie. And she said, there is barely a day that passes by, without the Prophet sallallahu wasallam checking on each one of us on all of us. Right? until he reaches the house, the house of the one he's supposed to spend the night with. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi Salaam wanted to spend the night there. And he used to do this, to make sure that there and imagine that you're not gonna

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just forget about the person until it's their day or only when you need something from them. Right. And this, there's a great lesson, because one of the most common complaints that many wives have is that, oh, my husband only talks to me, when he needs something.

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He's only cheerful, he's only checking on me when when he needs something other than that is busy. He's in his little cave, somewhere. I don't see him, work comes before me. You know, his career comes before me. Money comes before me, you know, his studies and his

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you know, what, you know, sometimes, you know, even even some of the scholars of the past, their wives used to be very jealous of their books.

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Their wives used to be very jealous of their books. Because he's spending more time with his books and his projects, and his next big project.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in spite of his, again, of his status on the law, they will send them in how busy he was, he found he made time for the members of his household and for his wives salon, he was in there.

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So they used to see him on a daily basis.

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Right, contrary to what a lot of people thought, Oh, he would only you know, see each wife once and once a week or something like that. No, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would check on each one every day. Sometimes the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would actually gather them all in the evening.

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And in the house of the one he's spending the night with, sometimes, sometimes they would all get together and have a meal. Sometimes some of them will, whoever is available of them to come and is not busy, they will join the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and they will all Converse together and have a meal and socialize. Right? There are even you know, famous stories that we're going to come upon of, you know, some of his wives you know, just having a little you know, friendly

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fight

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in his presence of the law and he was some

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So from this we take, obviously, someone might say well, okay, this is beautiful, but it's not applicable because in hamdulillah we're all people have

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we're singers.

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But in it there is a lesson This is what doesn't make sense that for someone that had multiple wives the purpose of them found time for each one of them on a daily basis. And then we have people who you only have one

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in this life, with whom you go to gender and we still don't have time for her.

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Yet, you know, we find people you know, talking about, you know, oh, you know, maybe I should have you can't even take give time and attention to one let alone You know, you get my point brothers, am I making? Yeah.

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Mashallah.

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Yeah, but in order for you to make it to

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I need a peace of mind, in order for you to make it to generate some, some someone might say, well, we'll give plenty of time in general No, no, in order for you to do that, you need to make it to agenda. You need peace, peace, inner peace, and you need peace of mind. And that will not happen if your spouse or your partner is not at peace at ease, feels secure, and safe, emotionally.

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And spiritually.

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So from this, the scholars recommend that, that we make time for each other. Now, I don't want to be I'm not one of these people that is just hard on the on the brothers, because unfortunately, there are many as well, brothers who make plenty of time for their wives, but their wives have no time for them.

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Right? Her husband is the last thing on her mind. Right? You know, the children that homework this that, and again, I'm not saying but they and this is not correct, either. Because we learned from the same Heidi from the prophetic household and from the prophetic marital life, we learned that they used to make time for him Salalah. Listen, they had children they had some of them had children from previous marriages. But they made time for him saw the loss and they made time for each other.

00:31:18 --> 00:31:20

Right. So

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and again, I'm not a marriage and family therapist, I'm just an A man who has been around for about two decades, dealt with a lot of cases. In my opinion, in my humble opinion,

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I find that most of these issues that we're having in our American lives, are due to mismanagement, our inability to manage our time and our priorities. And our lack of interest in

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in coming up with solutions, right? And working together, if we don't see value in something, we're not gonna care. Because Because many of us are capable of making time for all kinds of things, all kinds of interests, and priorities that we have in life, when you don't see value in something you're not going to pay attention to, you know, somehow like amazes me how sometimes I find people who are very, very talented, they know how to close deals, they know how to win arguments, they know how to win adversaries over, right? They know how to expand their businesses and how to appeal to many clients, they know how to deal with very, like hard headed, you know, patients or colleagues

00:32:36 --> 00:32:43

or, or employees. Right, great leadership qualities. For some reason, when it comes to

00:32:44 --> 00:32:53

you know, applying the same or using the same tools and that they possess in their households they failed and they fail miserably.

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Again, if you don't see value in something, you're not going to even you know,

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you're not gonna even make the effort to use what Allah Subhana Allah blessed you with, in terms of again, leadership qualities, and talents. Okay.

00:33:16 --> 00:34:03

His worship sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his a bed that did not hold him back from spending quality time with his wives sallallahu alayhi wasallam according to Ayesha again, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam between acts of worship and between his responsibilities to teach and lead the community, the prophets Allah is Allah made time for them. And you get the sense of the prophets of Allah was amazing when it comes to his time management, right? He used every minute or every moment in every hour of his day, wisely, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and we really have you know, life is very short brothers and sisters, you know. And I think, you know, those who who know how to manage their

00:34:03 --> 00:34:05

time and

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take care of their priorities, do much better in life, and will be happy and will please other people, you know, and on the Day of Judgment, that loss of Hannah what Allah will bless them.

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That is with regards to the quality time and conversations and socializations of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and his wife.

00:34:31 --> 00:35:00

The next section is Charlotte, Allah is something that we're going to skip. Because I'm going to address it again. At the end of the month, we're going to be talking about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam intimate life. As I said, statistics show that one of the major causes of divorce and marital problems is lack of compatibility when it comes to intimacy. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sets a great example for us. So inshallah Allah, we're going to we're just going

00:35:00 --> 00:35:11

Over the some of the details, and we're creating the the flyer flyer for it for the event in shoma. At the end of the month we have we were ideally thinking to do it

00:35:13 --> 00:35:21

on the 14th. No, no, we don't, actually we were thinking of on the 15th. But however that weekend we have, we have a,

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we have a workshop or seminar, right, by the alum program.

00:35:28 --> 00:35:48

And there are a lot of activities this month. So the only I think available weekend is two or three weeks from now. So inshallah we'll we'll update you on that send me and I are working on it. inshallah, as always, we would like as many people as possible to sign up for that program in Charlottetown.

00:35:50 --> 00:35:55

That will allow let's see, now Mohammed ohana, and your site, we will send them into steamer. Kathy, alright. Does anyone have any question?

00:35:56 --> 00:35:57

Does anyone have any question?

00:36:14 --> 00:36:15

Coming from one

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practical example as well?

00:36:33 --> 00:36:35

Is that a trick? Question? Is dinner time?

00:36:37 --> 00:36:38

quality time? Is that good?

00:36:44 --> 00:36:45

Well,

00:36:46 --> 00:37:10

it depends for some people it is, it's for some, in some households, I think dinner time ought to be family time. You know, I know that, you know, different families have different setup and different, you know, culture. But this idea of us not coming together, even for a meal is really a horrible idea. Everyone just having their own thing, you know, have their own, you know, pace or convenient.

00:37:11 --> 00:37:20

Their own convenience, basically, whenever they want to people taking food to their rooms. I think that's not

00:37:21 --> 00:37:30

good habits. That's not a healthy habit. Right? We should come together in one designated area, right, as a family.

00:37:33 --> 00:37:44

Family should come together, have meal together help one another, you know, set set up or at least you know, clean up, have friendly conversation check on each other, avoid any

00:37:45 --> 00:37:48

any sensitive or any content, you know, any?

00:37:49 --> 00:37:56

any conflict. Right, just let it be about how was your day? How are things going? You know,

00:37:57 --> 00:37:59

share the latest joke about

00:38:00 --> 00:38:02

the Iowa caucus, you know,

00:38:03 --> 00:38:08

you know, just just anything politics, sports, anything that interests everyone.

00:38:09 --> 00:38:10

And,

00:38:11 --> 00:38:36

and, and just make it a make it a friendly time. But other than that, in my opinion, there are some cases where Yeah, the person may need more than that time. Right? Especially. So it depends on the situation, it depends on the circumstances, it depends sometimes on the needs of the individual. Right. And believe it or not, you know, sometimes even five minutes and divided attention, five minute of undivided attention

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makes a huge difference. I know someone who's very, very busy, same profession, extremely busy.

00:38:44 --> 00:38:55

One time, you know, I and he is also you know, highly qualified with great credentials in fifth and also as well. So,

00:38:57 --> 00:39:03

so I told him, you know, what time can I contact you? He so so I gave him a timeframe. He's like, No, no, that's that. That is tea time.

00:39:06 --> 00:39:21

So him and his wife have tea time. Right? They have half an hour data where they sit together at no kids, nothing. Just the two of them are sitting there relaxing. So he's like, I can't do that. Like, are you sure you can't squeeze me? He's like no. Sita.

00:39:22 --> 00:39:26

Some couples have like walks. I know this is not feasible here in

00:39:27 --> 00:39:44

Memphis. But some couples, maybe during summertime, you know, there are seasonal activities that you can do together. You know, I know in some beautiful places like Southern California. People do things like that. You know, there are a couple who have had a lot. There was one particular case

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brother and sister so how I used to do this on a regular basis. And one one day they were walking and she was ahead of him. She'd like catch up. He's like, I'll have a catch up with you go and he started talking over the phone

00:39:59 --> 00:40:00

and a car came in

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Hit him, killed him right on the spot his wife had, but somehow his, his wife was grateful of the fact that they she was there with him in his last moment, doing thing, you know, doing an activity together. And again, you learn from these kind of incidents that, you know, life is very short. And the time that we have with one another is really, really precious. And we should cherish every moment in every opportunity that we have, that we can spend with one another. You have no idea how many times I've heard people say things like, I wish I had spent more time she wanted to tell me something. I didn't know that that was the last time. Right, he wanted to tell me something.

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He asked me to join him in that walk. And I said no, I'm busy. When I could have done it.

00:40:46 --> 00:40:47

Right. So

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what's that you disagree?

00:40:55 --> 00:40:55

Do I

00:40:56 --> 00:41:00

Do one thing also that is mentioned in this in this

00:41:02 --> 00:41:37

that we mentioned during the lecture is making do out for one another? This is something that a lot of couples fail in doing. Make dua for one another the process I'm used to pray for his wives right behind like, when they're not around and to their face as well. Right. So he would make up for them when they're present, and he would make out for them, and a loss of habitat and I intentionally recited that verse in the in the in the summer, we're living in a una robina habla Nam. And as you as you know, Tina kurata is making your app for your for your spouse. And so Pamela, some contemporary scholars said that now we have

00:41:38 --> 00:41:41

great tools and send that to us.

Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

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