Living Islam – Raising a Muslim Child #14

Mirza Yawar Baig

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

Series:

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:17

Fatima Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Asha, if you don't be able mousseline Muhammad Rasul, Allah is Allah Haile he right only he was have you seldom to see when cathedral cathedra firmado. My brothers and sisters, as I talk to you today, there is a war happening in Ukraine,

00:00:18--> 00:00:24

which is completely captured the attention of the world. And everybody is

00:00:27--> 00:00:29

focused on it. And

00:00:31--> 00:00:41

it seems almost as if this is the first time that what is happening. But we know that there has been a war happening and going on in Yemen for the last five years, which

00:00:43--> 00:01:21

a un estimate is that it's killed over probably 400,000 people. And all of these estimates are estimates. They are not actual counts. And the actual count is more than likely, much bigger than that. Yet, nobody talks about that war, because May Allah protect us from ourselves. That we're the people getting killed, there are brown people and not white people. They don't have blond hair and blue eyes. And so their lives seem to be of less value than the lives of blonde hair and blue eyed people.

00:01:23--> 00:02:07

I, in my view, the life of in orange, not really my view in Islam, the Ayatollah NIDA Allah subhanaw taala said that if one single individual and Allah did not say blond eyes, blue eyes, black color, white color, why do you think one single individual as human being not Allah didn't even say Muslim or not Muslim anybody. If one single human being is killed unjustly, it is like the killing of all of humankind. And if the life of one individual is saved, it is like saving the lives of all of humankind. And this is the standard of Islam. Islam is not just non racist, Islam is anti racist. There is not only

00:02:09--> 00:02:10

in Islam, not only is there a

00:02:12--> 00:02:24

is there a positive value of b of not being racist, but there is a negative value of being racist, meaning that if you are racist, then you attract the punishment of almost Baroda. The very fact the very first

00:02:25--> 00:02:58

set sin and crime committed was by a police by Schatten, where he refused to worship and refuse to make such that two other men a Salah and refuse to obey Allah subhanaw taala. And this, his His excuse was an excuse, which today if you look at it in look at it in that context, it's an excuse of racism. He said that even min Minnaar or Calico minty, he said, I'm Cree, I have been created, you have great You created me from

00:02:59--> 00:03:24

a fire and you created him. The only other one is Salem, from clay. So he's saying my race is superior to his race. And now this is a statement of racism. So therefore, it's something that Islam has condemned from the word go. And this app now the point I'm making here is that all this big war, which is happening if you take that war, now,

00:03:25--> 00:03:32

Putin is the guy who is the the puppet master for that.

00:03:33--> 00:03:48

But obviously, he's not the only one implicated. Similarly, there are others in the war in Yemen, and so on. The point being that if you think about it, all of these people, whether it's Putin or whether it is you, Narendra Modi, or Donald Trump or

00:03:49--> 00:03:54

Nelson Mandela, or Mother Teresa, or you know, whoever

00:03:55--> 00:04:43

also thought, Ed, Remo, Lightoller, anybody, there was a time when they were children. There was a time when they were little boys and girls, when they were children. And they wrote their scripts, and their parents wrote their script, and they added to that script. And what the world is facing today is decisions being taken by those children. Right? But those are decisions are being taken today. So the children are not sitting anymore. But at one point they were children. So it bears thinking about and asking ourselves, what if these children had been raised differently? What if these children had been raised to respect other people to be compassionate? Not to just chase money

00:04:43--> 00:04:59

and power at any cost? What if these people were were raised in a way where they felt responsible for themselves where they where they knew that they are accountable before Allah subhanaw taala from whom and I think

00:05:00--> 00:05:44

considered, this is a this is the whole issue of rearing a child. So when you are raising children, don't just look at the child and say, Oh, well, you know, my little boy, my little girl who's five years old, four years old, three years or whatever, no, you are looking at a future global leader, no matter what position they are in, they are future global leaders. Some may make it to leading countries some other May, some others may become founders of empires. And others may raise some may raise their own children. So all that they may do in their life, for example, is to be a good mother and a good father. And believe me, that is the probably the most important role and responsibility

00:05:44--> 00:06:26

that they could probably fulfill and I would say, is far, far more important than running a country. Because this is the lives of people. And so they think that he had his studies, if you look at the world today, I don't think there's a single human being anywhere in the world who was satisfied and happy with the way the world is running except the, the AI the actual criminals who are creating this, this this veil of misery that we are faced with, but all ordinary people are all of them, every single one of them anywhere in the world is dissatisfied to some degree with how the world is being run. I'm not talking about you know, momentary happiness with something hamdulillah people who

00:06:26--> 00:07:06

are who are connected with a loss of identity, always make sure. But the fact is that there are problems. And these problems, all of them, these are not come out of the blue, they haven't come out come from Krypton or something with a Superbad. These are problems that we have created for ourselves, it is these hands, which created the problems. And the and because of this, we are the ones who are suffering, there is no third party, third party, there's no somebody else who's suffering, we are suffering. And because we are and therefore this is a good news is that if since the problem that we created are our own problems, and we are suffering, so therefore we can also

00:07:06--> 00:07:16

create their solutions, we can create solutions to those problems, which will save us from that suffering, I think this is something which is extremely important for us to keep in mind.

00:07:17--> 00:07:19

So that we don't get,

00:07:20--> 00:07:20

you know,

00:07:23--> 00:07:59

so that we don't lose sight of the critical importance of this job of raising good children, who will be a credit to us. And as I swear to God for us, now, life is full of decisions. And therefore, there is seldom a time in our lives when we are we are when we aren't grappling with one tough decision or another. Now, whether it's related to work or family or to any one of the countless other aspects of life, we constantly find ourselves asking questions like, should I or shouldn't I? Or should I go this direction or that direction?

00:08:00--> 00:08:22

We go back and forth between what seems to be equally good opportunities. And sometimes this is even more confusing because to choose between two opportunities, one of them is clearly good. The other one is clearly bad is not difficult. I mean, this is easy, but to apparently equally good opportunities. I remember when I first went into

00:08:23--> 00:08:45

it, when I saw decided to be an entrepreneur, and went into independent consulting, it was 1994. Literally, I mean, I was in I was in that I started my company. And 1994 was financially speaking a very, very difficult here because I had no business still trying to sort of struggling very hard to make ends meet.

00:08:46--> 00:08:59

There were months, when the maybe two three days before the rent was due on our apartment, we didn't have the money to pay the rent. What happened Allah Allah, Allah, Allah is the one to,

00:09:00--> 00:09:16

to always help us Rantala always ensured that we never defaulted on the rent, we always Allah gave us the money to pay the rent on time, but that we lived with that anxiety though, will it happen if you don't have now through all of that, the

00:09:17--> 00:09:48

and at that time, when I was in the middle of anxiety, I go I did a an assignment for in company which had newly come into the into India, this was in Bangalore in India. So there was this Swedish or other Swedish head for a cell phone company, which had recently come in. And that's what he shared. He liked me and he liked my work so much that he offered me a job is invited to be the head of Vice President, human resources for our company.

00:09:49--> 00:09:59

And what you offered me in in pay was absolutely astronomical, in those in terms of the salaries of those days. It was

00:10:00--> 00:10:15

Very, very, it was like, if he had given me a blank sheet of paper and said, Write down you're not right or number, I would not have written what he was offering me. So now I had this dilemma and I am I'm just starting out as an entrepreneur.

00:10:16--> 00:10:58

So it's a good choice and Hamdulillah, I'm happy about that. But at the same time getting a job now, in a corporate organization, which on the face of it will take away all this anxiety of, you know, house rent and whatnot. And the job came with the house, and it came with a car and blah, blah. Now, it was therefore a very tough decision for me, because I was choosing between two good options. One option was to continue to be an entrepreneur. And the second option was to become, to go back into the corporate world, but to a very nice, very nice job. Needless to say, I continued, I mean, at the end of that, I did take a decision. And I thanked him, and I said, I'm sorry, but I will not take,

00:10:58--> 00:11:18

he was very happy. He told me, he said, he knows I respect you, because you have shown that you have the grit and the gumption to stay with what you have decided. And he said, I'm sure that this will be something which is, which will be very beneficial for you. So this is something that we have all the time. Is it good? Is it not good? What shall I do?

00:11:20--> 00:11:31

So between two good options, is always difficult to judge. We also live in a world where access to information is ever easier and faster and more comprehensive.

00:11:33--> 00:11:43

Our smartphones today are the substitute for a phone for a computer for radio for television, and for you know, for everything except

00:11:45--> 00:12:02

Except Except what sort of person face to face contact, even that with video conferencing with charts, you know, video calls, there was a time when you when you had to to do a video call, you have to go into a special studio or whatnot. Today, you do it on your phone. So it has become very

00:12:04--> 00:12:25

large and lots of lots of data is better. But it's it's compulsive, it is addictive. And it's always very intrusive. And what this information and data does to us is a huge penetration of technology, which has made life easy and far more complex, very complex. We are deluged with information on a daily basis.

00:12:26--> 00:13:00

But the result isn't for most people, they are left bewildered, and they're unable to make sense of what they are seeing or reading. And the result is a society that for the most part ill informed very, very ill informed if, if one is to translate information understanding, most people simply do not have the tools to make sense of what they are presented with. It's therefore necessary very necessary for parents to equip their children with these tools. And I believe there are two tools which are critical to this process, and one is.

00:13:02--> 00:13:33

And that process is integrity and focus. These are the two to integrity and focus on creating a legacy. Now let's look at integrity. I define integrity as the willingness to become a standard bearer for your beliefs and values, to be willing to be held accountable for them, and to have the confidence that you will not be found lacking when that accountability when you are called to account. Integrity is the honesty to be true to yourself.

00:13:34--> 00:14:13

To have complete congruence between belief and thought and word and action. And it's very easy to say it's very difficult, we believe something we think and the thoughts sometimes no changes. And we still we still claim to hold the same belief but when we when we are talking now you're talking in a different way. Either you have softened or you're hardened or something that we changed completely. And then of course action is even more complex. Now to live what you believe. So first of all is congruence between belief and thought and word and action and then to live what you believe in and value. This is integrity to do the walk and the talk must be the same. The the finest example of

00:14:13--> 00:14:19

this is the life of Rasul Allah is on salah, where they digested the heart of the lung hab

00:14:20--> 00:14:59

he said that he was the walking Quran. So here is the Quran, which is the belief and here is the life of Muhammad Salah Salem, which is a reflection of this belief. So in the Quran, if I take anything in the Quran and say, Well, how is it to be applied? What does it look like when it's being applied? I have to go no further than the Syrah the biography and the life of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. That is the meaning of integrity. So I define integrity to something where I say it's something we'll define that answer this question.

00:15:00--> 00:15:18

What do I want to be remembered for. So the integrity is the ability to look at yourself in the face and accept your mistakes and not make excuses. It's the willingness to accept responsibility for your words and actions, and the consequences and to make amends, if those are if those consequences are undesirable.

00:15:20--> 00:15:35

The second criterion for decision making is to differentiate between short term and long term and visualize what the long term effects of present decisions are likely to be. Now this is very important, because many times in the interest of,

00:15:36--> 00:15:53

of urgency of expediency of all kinds of reasons we give ourselves, we take negative and we take very short sighted, short term decisions. And then we've feel very surprised when the long term results are bad.

00:15:54--> 00:15:57

Take a deck today, if you if you look globally, if you look at it,

00:15:58--> 00:16:09

take the issue of for example, global warming, and take the issue of, of garbage of how garbage is disposed and so on take the issues of trees of

00:16:10--> 00:16:14

environmental degradation. All of these are the results of

00:16:16--> 00:16:40

bad short term decisions that resulted in very, very evil long term decisions. But those bad decisions short term, they were not bad by themselves, because they were taken because they seem to be good. They seem to be more convenient and easier, and so on. But whatever is easy is not necessarily the best thing to do. And that's very difficult to actually practice as Muslims.

00:16:43--> 00:16:52

We need to remember that one day we will be called to account before Allah subhanaw taala everybody will be called to account but except that we, we accept it and we claim to accept.

00:16:54--> 00:17:39

And therefore, we need to be clear about what we choose to do and what what we choose not to do. The children must be thought must be taught to analyze their options, in terms of their potential consequences. And while we have no knowledge of the Unseen or the future, a good analysis can help us to see possible scenarios and to decide intelligently between them. When this is done, it is essential to focus on the long term, and not do things which may seem beneficial immediately, but are likely to have negative consequences in the long run. One of the big places where this shows up very clearly and painfully is in the area of marriage. People get married for all the wrong reasons,

00:17:39--> 00:17:57

all the wrong short term reasons. And then they pay for it for the rest of their lives. Or for as long as that marriage lasts. completely unnecessary. It could have been done. The marriage could have been done or not done with a little more thoughtfulness and it would have benefited everybody but that thoughtfulness doesn't go

00:17:59--> 00:18:21

almost every national international problem that we face today is a result of making short sighted decisions for short term gain, easily avoidable if only the focus of decision making had been to create a legacy of honor. And that is what we need to keep in mind and say what is my legacy? What am I leaving behind? When I go?

00:18:24--> 00:18:27

Very important area to focus on. And I don't need to

00:18:29--> 00:19:10

really emphasize it for Muslims, which is to connection with Allah subhanaw taala we just love it and Abu Dhabi, it is the belief and go there is the manifestation of that belief. So Muslim children must be taught to connect with Allah subhanaw taala they must be introduced dollars amount of data, to His glory to His Majesty, to do His accounting on the Day of Judgment, to the duty that we owe to him to be grateful for all that He has given us. And to judge ourselves by integrity with which we fulfill this duty. There was grew up with a profound sense of worth of being a slave of Allah, of being obedient to Allah subhanaw taala of worshipping only and only Allah subhanaw taala

00:19:12--> 00:19:54

there was a profound sense of being Abdullah and Abdullah whose only purpose in life is to submit to Allah subhanaw taala completely in everything that they say or do. Muslim children was grew up hearing the name of Allah subhanaw taala the recitation of His Word in all its power and glory and majesty, there was I grew up hearing the name of of His Messenger, salallahu Alaihe Salam, and the stories of his life. Muslim children was grew up with the confidence in their Deen of being proud of their deen or being confident in their deen or being confident of their identity as Muslims with pride in of being Muslims, with their heart beating for the love of Allah's Rantala and with the

00:19:54--> 00:20:00

love of soul as a seller and a sense of belonging to the global brotherhood of Islam. The home

00:20:00--> 00:20:43

Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam, it's very, very important. Sometimes it's this seemingly small thing that they're not. My Sheikh was to say, Talk to Allah. Tell Allah subhanaw taala your story. They just didn't talk to him in your own language and talk to him in your own way. See Allah I'm like for example, if you're going to the masjid, say Allah, I am going to the masjid to pray. Allah knows this Allah seeing you doing that, but this your, your contribution and your your connection with the Allah. I'm going to the masjid, to pray, please help me to pray in a way that you love that prayer helped me to pray in a way that you like, right? Make my prayer full of sincerity full of

00:20:43--> 00:21:26

glass, make my prayer such that you will be pleased with that prayer. But that's what I bring. Why Why am I praying I'm praying because I want my children to be pleased with me. So ask Allah Subhana Allah for it helps Allah please save me from shatter save me from all sorts of distractions and influence the shutter. Similarly, wearing to school, say Oh ALLAH hope make this day the best school day of my life. Open my heart to knowledge make make it easy make make my mind give me the intelligence to easily understand what is being taught to retain it where am I to understand it to be able to contribute positively in the class, talk to Allah subhanaw taala right make God honest.

00:21:27--> 00:21:44

My job is to say that you know, we will be complaining about society we say oh society so bad and this and that. And this this sin everywhere and whatnot. And then we commit sins. So we fall into one of two sins we do things which are haram, we know it is wrong, but we still do it. Right for whatever we give ourselves all kinds of excuses, oh, this happened that happened.

00:21:46--> 00:22:14

So my shatters, if you will before Allah, Samantha, on the Day of Judgment, Allah Subhana Allah says, so whatever, why do you do that? You say you say Allah, what can I do? You know, this society was so bad, it was so poisonous and toxic and blah, blah, blah, not and I tried my best but you know, I committed this in that sense, what you you know, you know, why you committed the sin and so forth. We you know, also that many times we commit a sin deliberately knowing it is wrong. But anyway, you're making the excuse and

00:22:16--> 00:22:23

then somebody Allah Subhana Allah says, Okay, so all of this, what you said, if this is the case, did you ask me for my help?

00:22:25--> 00:22:37

Did you ask me for my help? When you are leaving your house? Did you say Oh Allah, I'm going into a world which is full of fitrah which is full of haram, please guard my eyes so that I do not see anything.

00:22:39--> 00:22:42

hide it from me. hide it from me.

00:22:43--> 00:23:10

It is not even I should not even be put in a position where am I? lowering my eyes or not? Am I looking down or no, just hide it let me not see anything. Let me not hear anything around. Oh Allah, help me that I never speak and realize that I speak only the truth that I speak with others that I speak with, with with concern. Help me give me opportunities to show concern for others that give me opportunity to opportunity to help others.

00:23:12--> 00:23:19

To even deal with those matters is did you make did you make this entertaining you make? Do you ask me for my help?

00:23:20--> 00:23:25

In this bad, so called Bad society that you're going into? What is the answer? Do we do that?

00:23:26--> 00:23:27

Do we do that?

00:23:32--> 00:23:38

We have to ask. When we leave the house, this will lie in the occult Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah what I love

00:23:39--> 00:23:44

is by being the Name of Allah, I have to open others right? And only I like to do everything.

00:23:47--> 00:23:52

We have to ask, we have to build and help our children to build a relationship with Allah.

00:23:53--> 00:24:03

I've told the story many times, and may Allah bless those people who have lost contact with them, wherever they are, may Allah bless them. I recall this so vividly.

00:24:04--> 00:24:13

There was a friend of ours who was a friend meaning I mean, that's why I mean if he was, if we were really, you know, if I knew him that well, I would not have lost contact, but this is a

00:24:14--> 00:24:28

helpful gentleman. So he was taking us, me and my friend to from point A to point B in New York, and we were driving and his little son was about five years old, he was in the car.

00:24:29--> 00:24:30

So at one point,

00:24:32--> 00:24:33

before we came to a particular

00:24:34--> 00:24:40

exit, this little boy said, he asked his father he said Baba did Allah put in your heart?

00:24:42--> 00:24:45

So I was very surprised as to who did Allah put what in your heart?

00:24:47--> 00:24:59

His father says, you know, we have brought them up, my children is by and others his other siblings. He said, We have brought them up my wife and I to ask Allah for anything they want. So

00:25:00--> 00:25:01

Anything he like if he if he wants a

00:25:02--> 00:25:20

chocolate he will ask his Mom Mom Mom was asked Allah if Allah puts him out I will give you so to the little to the extent that little fella would go and put his masala and he was sitting there was Allah make dua to Allah Subhan Allah please make my mother give me chocolate. And this might seem funny but the thing is, this is how

00:25:22--> 00:25:31

the attr at a very early age does consciousness Allah subhanaw taala in their lives is inculcated. So that day said, the father said,

00:25:32--> 00:25:46

he said, I knew I was going to pick you up and take you. So this little fellow he has a friend who's lives in a town between the passing of you're going to pass so he said, can I come and go to my friend's house? So I said to him, you and come clean the car.

00:25:48--> 00:26:06

Make dua if Allah puts in my heart, then I will take the exit and drop you and pick you up on the way back or if Allah does not put in my heart and just come come along for the ride. So he's asking me now because he knows where the exit is. He's asking me now did Allah put in my heart, so as to I just did a look. But

00:26:08--> 00:26:15

the point is, that this is how you get them connected, so that they will come and he will ask him last month and that is why

00:26:16--> 00:26:22

my share has to say that even in the midst of the fitna, Allah will keep you clean.

00:26:23--> 00:26:26

In the midst of all the

00:26:27--> 00:26:30

turmoil that is happening, Allah's raw data will protect you.

00:26:31--> 00:26:38

In the midst of difficulties Allah subhanaw taala will give you is if you keep asking Allah smarter because

00:26:39--> 00:26:42

ease and difficulty is in the hands of Allah.

00:26:44--> 00:26:49

It's not because of circumstances Allah subhanaw taala is the creator of the circumstances.

00:26:50--> 00:27:00

So I have to say, it will happen, things will be happening there will be difficulties, things will be happening. Negative things will be happening to others but they won't happen to you.

00:27:01--> 00:27:04

Like it's like it's like saying you're going in a in a bad

00:27:06--> 00:27:07

environment.

00:27:08--> 00:27:27

In toners, desert city center in the middle of the night or something, and we know that in this place in that situation, people get mugged and dropped us on but you will not be mocked. You will be protected. Because you are connected with the last one what are you asking about loss protection? May Allah help me alive? Yeah, let me alive is bad breath.

00:27:29--> 00:27:32

So it's very important to keep on asking a lot smarter.

00:27:34--> 00:28:12

Now we inculcate the love of Allah, the glory and magnificence of Allah in the hearts of our children in two ways. One is through the recitation of Quran, sunnah to specific focus on the ayat of the Quran, where Allah subhanaw taala describes himself and no one can describe Allah like it is feminism. So read those I have read every desire to reflect on this and say that as the reason this is what Allah is wanting to say, how does this come across to you? Right? So Allah subhanaw taala said, He will Maliki Allah is the king, Allah is the is the ruler now how does that manifest in your life?

00:28:13--> 00:28:15

Do you feel that Allah is the Buddha? How do you feel alive?

00:28:17--> 00:28:37

If I truly feel that Allah is the ruler, then I cannot commit anything which Allah does not like, right? So this is a protection. When we feel the glory and magnificence of online our lives. We cannot do anything which Allah does not like. Today we live in a world which is so full of. It's not just full of,

00:28:38--> 00:28:42

of sin and wrongdoing. But in many cases,

00:28:43--> 00:28:54

sins and wrongdoing is committed with full and total comfort, confidence. And those who stand for the truth are the ones who are running,

00:28:56--> 00:29:09

running fearfully, right? We're worried. Whereas in reality, it should have been the opposite people who are doing good, should have had the confidence and people who are doing evil should have been running, running scared.

00:29:11--> 00:29:23

Today it's the opposite to the people who are indulging in evil or doing it openly without accurate is no there is no shame there is no higher there's there's nothing there absolutely no problem. This is our right.

00:29:24--> 00:29:44

How can it be your right to commit sin, but this is the world we are living in. So now if you want your children to have the right therapy, if you want your children to be protected from such an environment, then you have to inculcate in them the connection with Allah subhanaw taala

00:29:45--> 00:29:57

the confidence in Allah the confidence and the power of Allah that nobody can have except Allah if an excerpt unless ALLAH is and nobody can benefit except en la, la La, la la la la la la la

00:29:59--> 00:29:59

la

00:30:00--> 00:30:03

A la la la, la hold our hotel villa.

00:30:04--> 00:30:08

This is the confidence if you don't have if you don't create that competence,

00:30:09--> 00:30:14

then the children will not run, they will run away from goodness into evil

00:30:16--> 00:30:17

and they will be afraid to

00:30:20--> 00:30:38

express themselves in a way that is to be done. So we ask Allah subhanaw taala to help us to raise children like that. And for that connect them to Allah Subhan Allah Allah, Allah sallallahu alayhi wa aalihi was a bit maybe we'll have to go what do I mean? Well, Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh