Ramadan Reset #01 – Spiritually Productive Fasts – Abdur Raheem Green

Lauren Booth

Date:

Channel: Lauren Booth

Series:

File Size: 25.27MB

Share Page

Related

WARNING!!! AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Summary ©

The speakers discuss the importance of humility, doing things sincerely, and cultural principles in achieving spiritual well-being. They stress the need for a culture and good manners, including proper body language and shay bills. The speakers also mention a donation for Sy subjects and a fundraising campaign. They stress the importance of practice, breathing, and learning to breathe deeply, as it is crucial for building one's values and manners. They also mention a training program for internally displaced people and encourage viewers to visit their website.

AI Generated Transcript ©


00:00:00--> 00:00:09

Welcome to Ramadan reset with me your host, Lauren booth. This podcast series is sponsored by what handled org.uk delivering services to Syrians in need.

00:00:15--> 00:00:56

I pray to Allah to Allah that you are blessed, and that your family as well, and that your fasting is going beautifully. Well, my guest today in Charlotte is somebody who loves to do mountain biking, and to spread the message of Islam around the world. I wonder if that's enough of a clue for you to guess who it is for that abdur-rahim Greene joins us now. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh why they come to labor care to how you learn? Alhamdulillah? And how are you brother before you say anything? I'm guessing you've been on your bike. That's what I said. Why wasn't I wait, I'm just literally been tidying up the house. And I've been collapsing hundreds of cardboard boxes that are

00:00:56--> 00:01:00

just taking up like filled half of the garage since the lockdown.

00:01:01--> 00:01:14

So my daughters have arrived from Milton Keynes and masala. One of them is Marshall. I literally set about tidying up the house. So she recruited me. And then I saw I heard the phone ring and I said oh my god, it says 530

00:01:16--> 00:01:18

I was just going like that.

00:01:19--> 00:01:28

So I apologize for that. I just forgot the time I introduced you as the the mountain biking day of Shropshire and

00:01:29--> 00:01:30

Lauren, Yeah, I do.

00:01:32--> 00:01:45

your topic today, brother, abdur-rahim green is the spiritual fast. I mean, generally the point that I'm trying to make. And this is not just true for fasting, it's it's really the case with everything is that

00:01:47--> 00:02:02

there is what we can call the outer dimension of our worship. So they're the things that are clear, and they're very visible. You know, for example, especially in the prayer, for example, you know, the movements of the prayer, where we place our hands,

00:02:03--> 00:02:06

you know, the Roku, the sedu going to the masjid,

00:02:07--> 00:02:34

the things you say in the prayer, but then there is a whole nother dimension, there's what's going on in our mind in our heart, right. And if you really think about it, the really important thing is actually what's going on in your heart. And in your mind, it's what you're thinking and what you're feeling. Because that's, that's how you're connecting with Allah subhanaw taala. Right.

00:02:35--> 00:03:21

So, when it comes to the prayer, for example, one wants to be in a state of what's called an Arabic for sure, for sure is like reverential or it's a sort of a situation of reverence and all but in Amazonian he, Medina, he goes into this whole subject in in depth, and he talks about the various levels of you know, like a person who just makes the movement. And then a person who makes movements, saying the words and then a person who makes the movement, understanding the meaning of what that person is saying. But then it goes to deeper levels of not just understanding but of actually feeling and experiencing, and those words, meaning reality, having a reality, having an

00:03:21--> 00:04:05

impact, and combining hope, and love and fear, and awe and reverence. There's so many things that are going on. It's quite a challenge, actually, to combine all of those different emotions in that one experience of praying, right, but I guess this and so it's the same for fasting. It's the same for fasting, fasting on the outward surface. Outwardly fasting is about abstaining from eating, and from drinking, and from the intimate relations between the husband and the wife, right from dawn, until sunset. So that's the outward dimension of fasting.

00:04:06--> 00:04:50

But what is the interdimensional fasting, right, the inner dimension of fasting, what is going on in your heart? Again, there's many different levels of what should be going on the minimum level really is that you should be keeping away from evil in your speech in in your actions. But again, inwardly what is awakening in your heart? There's many different things. I suppose one of the different things, one of the things that you you should be experiencing is your the the understanding of of your tremendous need for Allah subhanaw taala. Right. Because you know, when you're fasting and Lauren, last time you were talking about what a bad day you will have a right. I don't know why that

00:04:50--> 00:04:51

stuck with me.

00:04:53--> 00:04:59

I keep thinking, I haven't had a bad day like today. But you're talking about you know, what a bad day.

00:05:00--> 00:05:44

And I guess like, sometimes you really do feel rehearsed, you know, like, you know, when you're working out you feel the burn some days, some days, you really feel a thirst you really feel the hunger right. And it also makes you realize how completely dependent you are how feeble you are as human being. So, this is humility is a very, very important in inner dimension spiritual dimension that we should develop that and that humility comes from, you know, realizing really how small we are, how insignificant we are, how completely with dependent we are on Allah's provision, no food, no drink, what happens, try holding your breath, try hold your breath for two minutes, and you see

00:05:44--> 00:05:45

what starts to happen to you.

00:05:47--> 00:06:13

You know, Subhanallah, so this, this understanding of how needy we are, how dependent we are, and how much we rely upon a lot to provide for us, this is one thing we get from it. Another thing very interestingly is if lost, right? If lost how, how a person may think, What is the connection between fasting and if a lot, so if laughs means sincerity, right?

00:06:14--> 00:06:17

And sincerity, actually, again, is a one,

00:06:18--> 00:06:47

maybe it is perhaps the most important of the inner worships that we need to perfect. Because the prophets a lot, you know, every two things, every action is judged by its intention in the Mullah Malou the near it. So every action is judged by its intention, and we will only get what we have intended, right? So if we, you know, if we are fasting,

00:06:48--> 00:07:28

because we want to lose weight, right? fast because you want to lose weight, if you're fasting because there are health benefits to fasting and that's actually the reason that you fast, then that's what you get from it. So our intention, the reason the thing that motivates us is very, very important in Islam, because Allah is not going to judge us on how you are outward. Right? You know, someone we're here because it's a religious obligation to them because I don't know they have, you know, something they want to cover from their hand. Yeah, I don't know they had a bad headache. Yeah.

00:07:30--> 00:08:18

You know, the one cover the hat because you know, I had a bad headache today, right? You get rewarded for that mole, we don't, right? I mean, you you get what you intended. So the intention is very important in Islam, the intention is very, very important in Islam. And then not only the intention, they're very, very similar the two things are very similar is the reason is to make sure that you do something completely and sincerely for the sake of Allah. Right that you do it sincerely for Allah not for any other reason not for people to respect you and admire you to get more likes on your Facebook page or your Instagram page right? Not to get praise from others not to get monetary

00:08:18--> 00:09:04

rewards right? okay not to get a certificate on your you know, whatever your wall right? The reason you need women to do things as Muslims and the only way we we will get rewarded for it, Lauren, right and dear listeners, is when we have done it purely and completely and totally 100% for Allah. Now, if you really understand this, you will become terrified. The reason you become terrified is because you will realize that have I ever done a single deal in my life that was completely insincere before Allah? And actually this is something that occupied our saints The only you know our move the more attitude you know the our food means the the ones with deep knowledge and

00:09:04--> 00:09:08

understanding you know, the people who genuinely pursued a spiritual path right

00:09:10--> 00:09:16

and even Of course our scholars our alumni who are many of them lightened enlightened with this as well right?

00:09:17--> 00:09:59

This poll thing all sincerity, to pay them a lot. And they realize that they will never school never sure about how they ever done no one of them said, If I could, if I only knew that I had done one frustration, with 100% sincerity, I would welcome death. I would like I would get let death company but I don't even know Have I done anything? So this is not to despair. You see, we're only giving and so it's impossible in this No Is that is that that Jihad you want to most Jihad Really? This is the energy have the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, he said that the greatest jihad or

00:10:00--> 00:10:48

The best jihad is the one the instrument will struggle within yourself. Right? to surrender to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Right? And so, amongst the highest of these inner struggles is this whole issue of trying to make things and do things sincerely for Allah. What is this got to do with fasting? Actually fasting is one of the things that when you do it is one of the easiest things to do sincerely for the sake of Allah. Right? Why? Because the Prophet said that Allah said, fasting. Fasting is for me, sorry, I'm in the kitchen. Lauren. Okay. You can maybe you can. I'm sorry about that. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Allah said that fasting is for me. Right? And I

00:10:48--> 00:11:15

will reward you for it. Okay, so all of the son of Adam, they do for themselves. Right. But fasting is for me. And this is that since so the thing about fasting is, and it's interesting, you know, I was reading an article, I think it was a BBC article on the BBC website. And I thought of you over there, Laura. And when I read this article, because, sadly, unfortunately, many of the youth in Turkey are leaving Islam.

00:11:16--> 00:11:59

By you know, President ordered the guns and his party's attempt to, you know, re emphasize the Islamic curriculum in schools is having it seems to be having a bit of a counter effect, right? Only Allah knows, because I don't trust anything I read on the BBC, any, you know, only Allah knows. But I'm sure that genuine account. So he was talking about this girl who was complaining about the lockdown because she had to stay with her traditional religious parents. They will all thing she doesn't, you know, she she dresses modestly at home, when she goes out, she changes, right? And she doesn't practice Islam, and she's pretending to fast. So they think she fasting but in her room,

00:11:59--> 00:12:04

she's drinking water. Right? I think it's well, it's not that difficult. Just fasting.

00:12:06--> 00:12:15

Really, but you know, you realize it's not about that, you know, really what it is probably for her is just rebellion. She just doesn't want to be religious. She doesn't want to follow Islam.

00:12:17--> 00:12:22

And I don't no worries, I get worried. I don't know enough about Turkey in Islam.

00:12:24--> 00:13:06

Islam in Turkey, but I'm guessing that like many Muslim countries, Pakistan, you know, Bangladesh, many of the Muslim countries, and I'm not just picking on them, Egypt, all of them really many of them. Religion is just reduced to these rituals. And, you know, they probably still talk about Islam, with the same mindset from the 18th, you know, 17th century, right. And they all know how to communicate what Islam is in a real living way that can connect to the youth so they can understand what it's about what its benefits. All right. You know, in a way, I'm going to stop you there, because this, this is a huge,

00:13:07--> 00:13:51

you know, obviously, it's a huge topic, but but we can maybe just just touch upon it here. There is another side to that. Well, you know, I remember going to church as a Christian, and in the in the 80s, and 90s. And they were so desperate to bring people into the church that they brought in bands. And they brought in guitars and they jazzed it up and they changed all the language. And the minister wasn't in a dog collar. He was in a bit of a jazzy suit, he looked like he worked for Carphone Warehouse. It did not feel the churches anymore. Yeah, it is always right, it's always going to be the truth of the message. So So whilst you know, we have to find the language, and the

00:13:51--> 00:13:57

the meanings to communicate to the younger generation, I'm a little bit cautious about about the wording of,

00:13:58--> 00:14:16

you know, making it so palatable, that the message gets lost no more I'm not making I'm not talking about making it palatable. I'm just talking about speaking to people in a language they can understand. So it's interesting, you gave a broad spectrum of things that happen there. Right. Okay.

00:14:18--> 00:14:25

So some of them, you know, like some of them, like you can genuinely ask the question, right.

00:14:26--> 00:14:35

If we're talking about Christianity, for example, right. What is what is a dog collar got to do with Jesus?

00:14:36--> 00:14:59

And his message Seriously? Right? I mean, so this is what I'm talking about. Right? So the point being, is that look, a lot of the way that the moms dress, right? It's not the way the Prophet dressed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It's some, you know, some traditional get up from 150 200 years ago. Right?

00:15:00--> 00:15:33

So I mean, there's certain things that, you know, there's certain things that have no relevance. They've just become a ritual. They've just become this ritualistic application. So I'm not talking about dispensing with fundamental things. I'm not talking about saying, Oh, you don't have to file so you don't have to pray. Right. But even when we talk about is when we, the words we use to explain things to kids, it needs to be within a language in the context that they understand. I wonder, for example, in Turkey, right? How many imams could seriously

00:15:35--> 00:16:17

explain to an intelligent atheist? and answer their questions? I mean, I'm most certainly England, most of our exams, even our aluma have no idea how to do that. I mean, it's one of the reasons why Hamza sources and microleakage have been so popular right now, even among scholars, because they're actually being able now to answer questions that unfortunately, we haven't, this is what I'm talking about. Lauren, do you understand what I'm saying? Right. It's being up to date with the issues that that concern them, you know, is it just enough to say to music is Poddar you know, maybe it's their way of communicating to them?

00:16:18--> 00:16:35

You know, why that may not be the best thing to do? I don't know. I'm that's what I'm trying to suggest. And I'm certainly not suggesting that we bring discos into mosques and stuff like that. No, no, I would, I wouldn't. I wouldn't think you were coming from there. That's for sure. Now, I was thinking,

00:16:36--> 00:16:41

the outer dimensions of worship, you spoke about the inner dimensions as reverential or

00:16:42--> 00:17:20

in that how can we give begin to begin to do that when we come to the pragmatics? This is a question outside and inside Ramadan. But the thing that that helps us in Ramadan, of course, is, is like you've touched upon the need for Allah. When our stomachs are empty, we know that Allah is going to we asking a lot of filler need. Maybe you can talk a little bit about recognizing our needs as as living beings and our smallness and our and our reliance and our, our inability to provide for ourselves. I was I was looking at ants the other day in the cupboard and thinking we're just ants.

00:17:21--> 00:17:25

Yeah, it's like I saw this documentary once Lauren about

00:17:27--> 00:17:36

I think, you know, some, some flies, there's a documentary about flies, but you know, like field flight, not like the, you know, the normal flies, gadflies, or whatever.

00:17:38--> 00:18:18

And they live for a day these particular creatures lived for one day in summer, one day in summer learn it's like, and I always think that's all I am. I'm just like that creature. I'm just living for a day, you know, like, okay, I experienced it. Maybe, you know, we experienced 18 years and, you know, 14, you know, I don't know how many seasons, right? So, of course, when we're kids, we don't really experience it and feel it. But the point being is that Pamela Even though 80 years is just nothing if we live that long, right? It's literally a blip. Isn't it really in anyone in human history, let alone the entirety of existence?

00:18:19--> 00:18:42

So no, look back to what you said is the if I said to look, if I said to you, or if you're going to have to, you know, run a marathon, right? What What would you start doing? Like if I'm crying, crying? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Alright. So you'd have to start trading today. If I start trading, I'd say okay, I've got to do it. I've committed to do it.

00:18:44--> 00:19:22

Yeah, you can start running right. And it's the same thing here. When we come to our sonar, right? You're not going to put your head on the prayer mat and have a short just like that. Right? Okay. Like Subhan Allah it takes you know, if you're going to climb Mount Everest, you would you have to train for it. Even as you're climbing Mount Everest, you have to apply amortize yourself to stop yourself getting altitude sickness, right? And honestly, I have I something I say is that try and pray just to try this. Try and pray two rakaat. Yeah, and think of nothing except alone.

00:19:24--> 00:19:30

And I'm sure that you try it. And you'll say it's probably easier to climb Mount Everest.

00:19:31--> 00:19:47

And so what do you have to do you actually have to really train yourself. You have to train yourself to be able to focus mentally, for how long How long is to have a cup, like even if you bang it out super fast, right? Three minutes, two minutes, three minutes, right, you know,

00:19:49--> 00:19:59

try and concert just focusing for three minutes on one thing for three minutes. That takes training. Okay? And then remembering Allah

00:20:00--> 00:20:12

Right, okay, it means that you need to know Allah subhanaw taala What does it take to know Allah? I mean obviously, I suppose obviously in one sense you can never know Allah because Allah is unknowable right?

00:20:14--> 00:20:39

But to some extent we can get glimpses, Allah has allowed us to have some insights, you know. So it means that Subhan Allah, his names the means of Allah subhanaw taala that you contemplate upon them. And you, you do to the duck garden, you know, you do this deep, you know, reflection and this contemplation on the names of Allah subhanho wa, taala, right.

00:20:40--> 00:21:22

understanding the meaning of what you're seeing, and developing those emotions that I was talking about before. So it's, it takes a lot of effort, right? It takes a lot of intense effort, it takes training, it's it's spiritual training, that's what it is just like to work but actually a lot Hard Way, way harder than going to the gym, like you're buying gym work and physical exercise is comparatively easy, compared to the rigors of spiritual training. The beautiful thing is I look at Islam, we look at it, it is literally like a spiritual training system. That's what it is. It's fantastic. You know, but the thing is, that's what we've been created to do. We haven't actually

00:21:22--> 00:21:45

been created Lauren, you'll be happy to hear to have six packs, right? And you know, to be leaping 30 feet, okay? I mean, yes, some people can do amazing things like that. But broadly, that's not why Allah created human beings, Allah created human beings to worship Him. We've been equipped with all the faculties internal and external, in order to be able to do that. And Alhamdulillah what we have is an inner

00:21:46--> 00:22:27

we have, we have the fitrah we have this inner aspect of us which I don't know how to describe it, it's the natural, our natural instincts, our natural inclination to worship Allah subhanaw taala. So we have a lot of things to our advantage in that respect. We just have to let ourselves you know, reach that stage in sha Allah. And so Ramadan is the time when it's like, you know, it's like I call it spiritual boot camp. Really, okay. It's it's a time when all of those things that we do, that really are going to help us achieve that. You know, that spiritual athleticism, that spirit, those spiritual heights,

00:22:28--> 00:23:09

reading the Quran and thinking about it and contemplating on it, you know, saying our prayers developing good manners, we often forget that manners and having good a flock. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam really talks about some Halla to the extent that a person who has good manners is better off on the Day of Judgment than one who prays a lot and foster a lot of extra Frost's right, it has that high reward. Good manners has the high reward of someone who does a lot of extra. In fact, Subhan Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was asked about a woman who does lots of extra prayers and lots of extra force, but she has a bad tongue. She says bad things

00:23:09--> 00:23:13

about her neighbors. And the Prophet said, she is from the people of hellfire.

00:23:15--> 00:23:19

So that's just Subhan Allah, and she's praying and fasting.

00:23:21--> 00:23:53

But because of an evil speech, so good manners, Lauren is you know, having good luck, which is again, another thing that we want to try and develop in Ramadan. And with so many different ways we do that, and of course, part of it is by being patient, not arguing, not having arguments, you know, the temptations she was, you know, you're tired and you're hungry. And you're ratty, how easy is not having arguments. No, no one even needs to give you an excuse you're ready for I'm recording.

00:24:00--> 00:24:04

from the west, we tend to be quite pugilistic like that, you know, ready to

00:24:05--> 00:24:12

get old, you know, we sort of enjoy it really, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna jump in there. That's, that's

00:24:13--> 00:24:33

it, I'm going to give a reminder for people to just go to my justgiving page I'm here to fundraise for Syrians in need. So please do take a look. I'm making some donations there. We're sending food packs, with water and UK charity, or you can go over to their website.

00:24:34--> 00:24:37

I really liked I really liked the fact that

00:24:38--> 00:25:00

Allah to Allah has given us something that's gonna make us tired and hangry See, men don't get hungry. They get hangry it's a mixture of anger and hunger. And so as wives can tell, it's like if you're being irrationally angry, it's like, you know, some someone will say to us, how are your hormones? You know, you're getting all upset. We can say have you eaten recently?

00:25:00--> 00:25:40

Have you eaten in the last two hours because you're being a bit touchy. So Allah, Allah, Allah has set this test for us, you know, reduce all of the things that we like, and stay calm. Talk about boot camp. He knows us, Allahu Akbar. I could sort of, you know, no doubt, I could complain about you stereotyping men like that, but there's certainly truth in it, that there's some real truth to that, you know, they actually really is, you know, and I certainly find it my I can find it myself, I find myself in a really weird mood. And sometimes I just forget to eat for a certain amount of time, and I find that I have some food and suddenly it's like, wow, I feel so much better handling.

00:25:40--> 00:25:44

So yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right about that, Laura, you know,

00:25:45--> 00:26:05

and on what did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, you know, if people want to argue with you, when you're fasting, what do you say? You say to them, I'm fasting is actually because part of part of part of fasting, right? Is and it just shows part of fasting is not arguing, not arguing. Right?

00:26:06--> 00:26:33

And that's part of manners. You see, it's part of the good manners and the beautiful o'clock, you know, the, the nice characteristics that a Muslim tries to have. Right? Is not to get into it, even when you're right, Lauren Subhan Allah, you know, the prophet said, you know, I'm a contender for a house on the outskirts of paradise for someone who leaves of arguing, even if they are right, somehow, how about when you're wrong?

00:26:34--> 00:26:43

Allah, Allah. So again, you know, just a reminder about the important that I mentioned that, you know, Ramadan is about developing your manners, you're good,

00:26:44--> 00:27:06

you're good, other and controlling your ego, controlling your impulse, all about impulse control, you know, impulse control, is something very, very, very important. For us, I want to I want to ask you something direct directly, brother, if somebody was to poke you with a comment now nearing the end of your fast

00:27:07--> 00:27:19

gig give us some tips about practical things that we were placed to go to in our heart or something we should say, breathe, learn to breathe, one of the things that I was listening to a little bit of your,

00:27:20--> 00:27:54

you know, that workshop you did, you know, that you do, one of the things you teach, acting workshop is breathing, okay. And it's amazing how many people I mean, I had, you know, 100, like, benefited from, you know, one of the things I benefited from two years of being a Buddhist of sort of Buddhist is I wasn't really a Buddhist, but I was a sort of Buddhist, was developing some, you know, some meditation and breathing techniques. And I don't think, you know, these don't need to be religious things, just learning to breathe deeply right into your stomach, right, right down into your belly.

00:27:56--> 00:28:19

And, you know, taking those deep breaths into your belly and then filling up your chest, and just slowing down your breath. It's a very, very simple thing to do. You know, I so what I teach is just to take Breathe in, breathe into seven, breathe out to seven, that's it, right? And do that three times just it just calms you down, right, lowers your heart rate, okay?

00:28:21--> 00:28:58

And just calms you down. So that's one of the very, you know, otherwise I'd recommend if you're really stressed just go and pray to the car but obviously if you're in a business meeting, or you know in the middle of a supermarket and you're getting stressed out that might print to the cart might not easiest thing to do. Right so so breathing is a very, very, you know, practical thing that you can do also say I will be there he ministered on urgent because one of the things that you won't get for many other religions except Islam, you won't certainly probably won't get it from any secular mystic philosophies, and probably not any of the Eastern sort of teachings is is the

00:28:58--> 00:29:24

understanding that shaytan is there. shaytaan is actually provoking you shaytan wants to make us angry, she likes us to fight each other, right. shaytaan likes to stir up animosity between us he loves it. You know, why is Allah prohibit gambling, right? And you know, divining with arrows and drinking alcohol. One of the reasons Allah says is because it's through these things that shaytan stirs up animosity between you know,

00:29:25--> 00:29:57

so, he loves that so you have shaytaan there of course shaytaan is changing Ramadan, so we should make it a bit easier for us and hamdulillah but unfortunately, we still have our nafs we still have that we still struggling with that energy had have yet but I was right and last week when he said that and you never listened to me anyway. And it's there. And there's this whole there's almost like a whole floor and I don't even think we need shaytaan like if shaytan wasn't there would probably still

00:29:59--> 00:29:59

laughs

00:30:00--> 00:30:37

Though I would still do pretty badly, because you know, getting hold of your knifes is a real, you know, it's a simple challenge. But obviously shaytan is there, you know, he's just adding fuel to the fire, you could say, even in Ramadan, some scholars say, you know, shaitaan being chained doesn't mean he's not, he doesn't have influenced, it's like, imagine a guard dog on a chain, you can still jump at you and give you a big fright bark, you know, just, he's not just gonna chew your leg off, like he might use it. But he can still, you know, some Scott would say that, right? So, the point being is that there's shaytaan, right? So and shaytaan runs in us, like, our blood runs

00:30:37--> 00:31:02

through us, right? So say out the villa, hey, Michelle, on the regime, find ways to calm yourself down. So again, this is something we know from the profits or loss. And it's, again, interesting you confirm it, you know, what more than, you know, research scientists have understood is that will change if you change your state, right? Change your state. So if you like, the Prophet told us, if you're standing and you're angry, sit down.

00:31:03--> 00:31:03

Right?

00:31:04--> 00:31:17

If you're sitting down and you're angry, lie down, or go and make wudu. Right? Anything to get you out of that situation is dangerous to change your state, find a bit of space to calm yourself down, right?

00:31:18--> 00:31:23

And then you know, approach whatever it is, think about whether you even want to

00:31:24--> 00:31:41

really have that discussion. I mean, you know, you don't have to have every argument. You don't have to prove yourself. Like, sometimes you do, but a lot of the time you really don't. It's just your like you said, Lauren, it's just your ego isn't it's just enough, just let it go, let letting things go. This is this is that this is

00:31:42--> 00:32:07

another technique. Another ticket technique is what I call surfing the urge. Right? And I literally you think of it as like surfing it, maybe you've never done surfing, but I will. I will I will tell you I was once dragged for about 200 meters under the waves by a surfboard. If that counts that Yeah, well, there you go. But it shows 200 meters. That's quite a long way.

00:32:09--> 00:32:56

So um, so like, so the point being is that like an urge, it could be any type of urge, by the way, but anger is one of them. Right? Anger, jealousy, envy, what hatred? You know, I really want to eat this cake. Right. You know, whatever it may be. One of the things to do is don't try. See, we met one of the mistakes that we make, and trying to regulate our, you know, impulses, is that we try to push them away. We try to sort of ignore them, stick them in some flat, no, I'm just not going to give it any attention. And that actually can be a mistake. Because what we forget is that, that our impulses and urges are there for a reason. They're actually most of the time, the basic reason for

00:32:56--> 00:33:37

them is to keep us alive, right? You don't want to ignore them totally. So it's like you acknowledge them, you acknowledge the reality you acknowledge it. And then it's like you say, Okay, I can, I can understand that. But don't you don't want it to control you, right? And so this urge can be very powerful, it can be overwhelming. So if you actually imagine yourself, literally, as you're surfing this urge, right? You actually literally imagine, so you don't even need to know how to surf. Just watch these amazing guys doing on TV. Just imagine you're doing that with your urge. Just Yeah, I'm gonna surf it, you know. And that's how you let it go. Right? You don't let it go by ignoring it.

00:33:37--> 00:34:18

You let it go by just letting it sort of just ride it. You know, that's what I'm, that's that's really it's really interesting because that's, that's that's a definite technique. I teach this as well. When I talk about nerves in public speaking, we're going slightly off topic here. But is you have to acknowledge the nerves. You say to them, Oh, okay. This is that feeling, again, that I get when I'm going live or meeting this person or going on stage. I'm okay with that. Because I have these strategies to get along with it. But I shouldn't be feeling like this or I don't want this feeling then you go into panic mode and feel the fear and do it anyway. Yeah, that's what they say

00:34:18--> 00:34:27

feel the fear and do it anyway. So acknowledge it, you know, acknowledge the fear, acknowledge the anger, acknowledge the whatever, right. But just don't let it control you.

00:34:28--> 00:34:59

When you think about organizations you can trust it's based on making a real difference to the people that they're meant to serve. I support with tan UK because their programs lift Syrians living in the worst conditions out of misery. They've just constructed two new villages for internally displaced people in Kapha jealous which is an ad lib sub district. These new camps are the first of their size. They have schools, clinics, decent accommodation, real sanitation and educational opportunities.

00:35:00--> 00:35:09

For internally displaced children and adults, you can support the continued running of these services right now, by going to [email protected]. May Allah bless you.

00:35:11--> 00:35:37

You know, you want to be in control. This is not your emotions, right. And again, there's altos training learners, you know, it takes training, it takes development until it becomes habitual. You know, that's what you're doing and that's what Ramadan is doing. So all about building really good habits. Ramadan is building about building really good habits and that's why you know, it's really good in sha Allah not to stop fasting You know, when Ramadan ends, you know, those 10 days that we have, right?

00:35:39--> 00:35:41

You know, that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said

00:35:42--> 00:35:56

10 days after Ramadan it's as if they get in the month after Ramadan. It's they get the reward of fasting the whole year. So Pamela, but I'm gonna let you go go and crush boxes.

00:35:57--> 00:36:25

Be with your wonderful family. Send them all my salons. Thank you so much for joining us. May you continue to be blessed and get the rewards of this holy month and see you again soon. Okay, Jesus, thanks for having me on. The Prophet was sent to perfect our manners are made this month perfect our manners mean Federica rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please take a moment to visit what ten.org.uk to support Syrians in need.