DONATION APPEAL!

ALL our Projects are FREE and with no advertisements.

We serve millions of downloads a month... Now! Imagine earning on-going rewards of every lecture and quran audio and so on.

As well as helping us cover our running costs and future projects!

mufti menk image

"I really think this is one of the greatest causes one could support"

    Become a Patron
    Donate via PayPal

More Information and Options

Avoid Anger

share this pageShare Page
Karim Abuzaid

Channel: Karim Abuzaid

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:26--> 00:01:04

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Welcome to this evening's edition of asynchronous please follow us on Facebook 3d abuser facebook.com slash Hello TV as well as hastened to goodness and feel free to leave your post and comments there inshallah I'm joined by cheeky marmalade as usual. Thank you for being with us. Hello. Hello Malik. It's always pleasure to be with you. No, no. Are you angry? I think actually I was angry. I was actually wants to talk about today that topic anger because I'm not angry. I'm just trying to set him up. I do notice a lot of people are angry. Why even on the way to work? Yes, people driving people are fighting people are angry with our spouses

00:01:04--> 00:01:29

with our children. We're argumentative at work, it's becoming sometimes we even lose it. I mean, ya know, certainly. And then you get angry sometimes. I do sometimes. And we consider ourselves to be you know, we're trying to be practicing Muslims and we still get angry. Yes. And sometimes people agitate you to get angry and then you fall for and you get angry. So how can we control anger? How can we prevent anger before I think first why there is so much anger. Okay, number one, I think

00:01:30--> 00:01:40

and let's talk about us all here. We have not taken the preventative measures to stop it before Stop it.

00:01:43--> 00:01:55

You see the Prophet sallallahu Sallam when he when he spoke about Salah to lead when you wake up to pray at night for example, the person will wake up in the morning, you will notice that his spirit is very pure.

00:01:56--> 00:02:22

You know he's gonna be cheerful and smile. But someone who does not wake up to pray at night, us but have hobbies and gifts. His soul will be very impure. Basically, you know waiting for a fight waiting for somebody just to trigger him. He didn't answer Pamela you can tell when you drive in the morning, who prayed fetch on time from who did not wake up.

00:02:24--> 00:02:34

You can tell from the face from the puppy you can tell that the person who woke up and prayed whether it is the hatred or fetish You know, one of the two

00:02:35--> 00:02:39

or both of course has to be both. You can tell that he is telling you that he is

00:02:42--> 00:02:53

going to see you but the other ones like grumpy, grumpy and waiting for somebody to set them off. Come on still morning and just leave me alone. Like having taken my golf

00:02:54--> 00:03:46

grumpy. I think the the second reason is the misconception in the minds of a lot of people. And I say people because anger again is a human being. Yeah, they believe that anger and being loud and noisy and being mean is a sign of strength when it is in reality, a sign of weakness but they will take it as a thing of manhood Ryan strong. I can beat you on the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says this lady says shady Luba surah. The one who possesses strength is not is not the one who yells and beats everyone down. While Akina shadid me I'm Luke nafsa who and alaba but the true strength is when you contain your timber, when you control your timber when you get angry, this is the true

00:03:46--> 00:04:15

strength. So there is a misconception especially amongst the our youth right or a bodybuilder yes and body they see strengthen and beating everybody down and and so forth. And it's the way to look at it. way to look at it. Okay, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back you guys. Stay tuned to learn more about anger management, how anger management and how to control your anger and also preventative measures, how to stop getting anger before you actually get angry, which is a great technique as well you guys stay tuned for more he sent tickets

00:04:29--> 00:04:59

back to hasten to goodness, we're talking about anger management, how to control your anger, which a crema was at stake. Thank you for being with me. And I certainly appreciate it. It's a pleasure shake. I always am amazed when I drive down the street or I'm in the supermarket, whether here or abroad and I see people get angry over something that seems very small. And then I'm even more amazed when I myself get angry over something that's very small and then I always regret it. I say well, why didn't I control my temper? Why did I get angry? And this affects your email and you become a little bit sad and you you feel like yeah, I must have Muslim that I want to be

00:05:00--> 00:05:09

So why is that? Why are people getting angry? Why do we get angry over something that seems very small Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Mashallah

00:05:10--> 00:05:19

illallah wa salam, ala Muhammad and after the hora So, we need to start this by

00:05:20--> 00:05:25

stressing that the source of anger is shaitan

00:05:26--> 00:05:30

Satan invoked Allah subhanaw taala that the Prophet would die

00:05:33--> 00:05:36

if you don't do this or if hola kulu fishy Eliza.

00:05:38--> 00:06:05

woman she in Indonesia kindness and and softness and leniency when it's in something it will liquidate it will give it a good package backage but when it's taken away, it's it's an awful thing for I think the first point that we need to establish that anger, the source of anger is shaitan Okay, Rasul Allah wa sallam, one day he was sitting with his companions.

00:06:06--> 00:06:57

And it looks like there was another circle to the side of them. So this was a man of no solid, famous Hadith a Muslim. So one of the people got so angry at somebody else, you know, and when you get angry, you know, you know, you're when you when you really get really angry, and then you start speaking, then the spit comes out of your mouth. Yes, that's a good point. Actually, one of one of the one of the best way is baddeck I found out that helps you to stop anger, to stop being angry and have a good anger management is seeing other people getting angry. And CFOs they look as mad. I look when I'm not gonna do this again. Yeah, one of the best ways actually, that to, to look at other

00:06:57--> 00:07:30

people. I'm you know, I hope nobody gets angry. But it's one of the so this companion was like, you know, he did not assault sallallahu alayhi wasallam was sitting down and he said, Well, I you know, a statement a word, he said a word. sentence, right? Right. If he would say it leatherback home agent. he's not. He's gonna stop doing this. If he would say, Oh, do Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim. Again, I'm trying to establish what the source of anger is, who is the devil is the devil. I seek refuge with Allah from the khursheed.

00:07:32--> 00:07:32

Imagine

00:07:34--> 00:07:49

something to learn from that situation, and also Los Alamos sitting far away from him. And he said, he was addressing the people around him. He did not ask any of them to go and tell him that a companion, volunteer to go and tell him that say,

00:07:52--> 00:08:01

you know what the other companion said, Why do you think I'm crazy? They think I'm crazy. That also tells you that when somebody is angry, right, don't talk to them.

00:08:02--> 00:08:43

Don't Don't try to increase their anger, agitate them don't agitate the right. And this is a big mistake. You know, anger management, really is not about the person who's angry is about the people around them. How do you manage that person when he gets angry, right, especially if he's known of getting getting anger, we learn from that Hadith here is the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sitting down and he is not far away from the companion. He did not ask any of them to go and tell him that love this companion Volland. He said, I know a statement, you know, but now is here the right person to be reminded of this now, not in that state. Not everybody will accept that there

00:08:43--> 00:08:49

are some people who when they get angry, and you know, quiet, you know, their quality of faded brother say

00:08:52--> 00:09:02

some people will actually heat but this companion was not from that type. And that goes to, you know, to the first thing that we need to establish

00:09:04--> 00:09:52

is anger from shaitan. Okay, and that's the one and why. Because when you're angry, you're in a position that shaytan can get you okay? And that is why By the way, one of the ways to manage anger is to change your position. A lot of the people do not know, the wisdom behind that, that if you're sitting down, you can stand up or lay down. If you're standing upside down, change your position. And why is that? Well, literally because Satan possesses you shaitan the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mentioned in shaitana yejide minipci Adam can measure a Demi flow shaitan runs circulates into our veins, like blood circulates now he is inside he is somehow inside you. And when you change

00:09:52--> 00:10:00

that position, this is my that will my interpretation. It can be wrong. Of course. I don't have a text that says that but we

00:10:00--> 00:10:41

When you change your position, you're making the the stay inside you very uncomfortable to shaitan. And possibly, while you're changing your position, you can recollect yourself again and dismiss that anger and go, shake. There are different types of anger, for example, there's an anger that a man and his wife, maybe they have a misunderstanding. There's an anger between men. I would like to speak about that, especially with you, you know, we get angry with each other and we want to beat each other up, especially teenagers. We're in college, we play sports, we lift weights, I have big muscles. I'm strong. I'm stronger than you. I'm bigger than you. This, how can we learn that this

00:10:41--> 00:10:49

type of anger is wrong and how to avoid this type of anger, this kind of prideful, anger, this anger between men? Well, I think

00:10:50--> 00:10:55

to begin with Malik, we are commanded not to get angry.

00:10:57--> 00:10:58

To begin with,

00:10:59--> 00:11:12

for any reason, whether it is lawful reason, or unlawful reason, like you mentioned, that somebody hurt your your pride or attack, dignity in a way.

00:11:15--> 00:11:17

When you get angry,

00:11:18--> 00:11:33

get angry, the way the messenger got angry. This is number one, and let that anger be triggered by the disobedience of Allah subhanaw taala. Now what do I mean? By Rasul sallallahu wasallam never got angry because of himself.

00:11:34--> 00:12:25

Never because someone insulted him, not to himself not to regain his personal pride. Okay, but he got angry because Allah who was disobeyed are the boundaries. Here's how it's done. It's worded stated the boundaries of Allah were transgressed in front of him, okay? That's okay. So no ego, no ego, no ego, don't get angry. That's why we labeled Prophet mooses anger to be lawful anger. Why? Because he was not angry because of him, right? Because he did not get angry because the people did this in his absence. How you guys did not respect me in my absence? No, he got angry because the people are worshipping the calf. They are committing Schick. Right policy is here. So we're not

00:12:25--> 00:13:06

supposed to get angry unless the boundaries of Allah subhanaw taala are transgressed. But we must also realize that anger must contribute must lead to the stoppage of this. Right, like, in a way when I get upset, I have treated the situation. I ended up teaching something shake we have a report here by brother and Oman Ali Khan, who's speaking about anger in domestic anger, anger in the family, between spouses, and this is very important, and perhaps we'll discuss it after the break, inshallah, after report rather, you guys take a look at this report. By the way, we will be right back with more from jQuery Mobile.

00:13:16--> 00:13:17

get angry.

00:13:19--> 00:13:57

After home, easily the wife gets angry at the husband very easily the husband gets angry at the wife, little little things make to make you angry at the children. Learn to swallow your anger become a person that perseveres through these things. If little things annoy us if little little things that get angry at you make us upset. How do we expect a lot of those into forgive our big sins? We expect from a mother that he doesn't get angry at us. And yet here we are exactly angered every little thing. It shows a lack of restraint. So we'll count the mean and leave and the second the next attribute will afina and in us very difficult. They forgive people out of love.

00:13:59--> 00:14:08

Nothing. Nothing in life is someone who forgives, but is someone who forgives out of love.

00:14:09--> 00:14:46

You know, when you forgive someone and they offend you, and you forgive them. First of all, most people say brother, I know that was a nice foot bar and I know I should forgive but my situation is special. You don't understand this guy was really messed up. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. By the way. You never forgive someone who deserves it. By definition, forgiveness means to give it to somebody who doesn't deserve and you're not forgiving for them. You're not exactly forgive, you're not giving them forgiveness because they want it or because they deserve it. You're doing it for yourself because you want to be in this list. You want to be among these people that are considered

00:14:46--> 00:14:59

with 13 that's why they forgive people, especially those who work for the sake of Allah azza wa jal if you volunteer at a Masjid or an Islamic organization, especially in the situation of family, there's a lot of feuds. There's a lot of things that

00:15:00--> 00:15:04

Come up when people get friction among each other, this is where she found once friction inertia

00:15:06--> 00:15:21

among yourself shaitaan will no doubt he will try to cause dissent among you. And these are the times we have to remember what I mean. And in us, you know, the Sahaba understood this really beautifully. Well, how some of the Allahu anhu was one time he's sitting down in his servant brings him drink.

00:15:22--> 00:15:32

And when he was pouring the drink, he dropped it. He dropped the drink. Of course this upset the the Sahaba of the alojado. So immediately he recited this ayah

00:15:34--> 00:16:07

what can we minimize? Those who suppress their anger, those who swallow their anger husband says I'll be alone. I've swallowed my anger. He heard the I said, Okay, I'm not upsetting you anymore. The servant continues to recite, he says what I have been and in us, and they lovingly forgive people. He says, Look, I forgave you too. Then he then he recites the end of the lessons on law who you have seen, it is a law who loves those who excel who excel in their religion who excel in their consciousness of Allah. He says, Go, you're a free man.

00:16:08--> 00:16:14

He said, I'm free. Because just because he heard the ayah these if they're supposed to exact change in our behavior.

00:16:23--> 00:16:49

Welcome back to hasten to goodness, hope you enjoyed that report by brother Norman and the Hon. Shake. Brother Norman was speaking about forgiveness, indeed, who speaking about anger also, between spouses and perhaps our topic anger management, we can relate to the report in this way. Anger between spouses sometimes is the most difficult to deal with, it can happen with just a misunderstanding or miscommunication. And this takes the real challenge. Now, how can you forgive your spouse or control your anger

00:16:50--> 00:17:03

and prevent the negative consequences of becoming angry with each other? Yeah, quickly. So regarding the report, I think it is the connection between being Moxon.

00:17:05--> 00:17:11

You see, at the end of the day, this is Ramadan and we're trying to be attained that state of sn

00:17:12--> 00:17:31

the entry to this is by not getting angry by swallowing, that's the term he the verb he used, right swallowing your anger, right, or suppressing your anger or controlling your temper. So, because the next level that your pardon an overlook

00:17:32--> 00:18:14

So the first step is to somehow you're in control your anger, so you're never if you let loose your anger, it's over. Right? attaining that level is, is like a steals of elevation, right? Like, in order to elevate right to accent which is the top because at the end of the day, you want to be a machine, right? by actually saying just just forget it, you know, I'm not only going to overlook your, your you're done, you know, you're forgiven. Don't worry about it. So the first step is is controlling your anger. Okay. Is so it's tricky. I go back to the issue of spouses. Yes, please, please check. Yeah, I don't know what it is. But

00:18:16--> 00:18:27

you know, a lot of damages happen to our homes, as if you know, shaitan uses anger as well to break families, destroy marriages.

00:18:29--> 00:18:39

You know, a lot of times, brothers, they come to me and they tell me, Chef, I, I divorced my wife. I told my wife, you are divorced.

00:18:40--> 00:18:48

And then why did you do this? And then guess what? She got me angry. Right? Well, you know, first of all,

00:18:49--> 00:18:56

this is the key here. There is nobody who divorces his wife when he is not angry.

00:18:59--> 00:19:11

Never. I mean, I have never heard of somebody who goes to his wife. Ha ha ha ha. I divorce you. Right? Right. So you must be angry. You must get angry right

00:19:12--> 00:19:18

now, that is why Allah subhana wa Taala placed that responsibility

00:19:19--> 00:19:36

in your hand as a man to dissolve that relationship. Because the that relationship gets dissolved with one word. It's a big trust. A lot of trust us with it's a big trust, right? Imagine a marriage can finish

00:19:37--> 00:19:59

with the husband saying I divorced. His wife. It's over. Right? Especially if he has done this already. twice before you see when we when we talk about divorce. And that's really when it hits hard. You see a palapa Martin. He can divorce your wife two times. This is called revocable divorce. It means I can take her back

00:20:00--> 00:20:48

can take her back within the three month, okay died, right without the need to go back to the Father without re establishing a marriage contract. But after the after the three month, it's you can take her back still, but with a new contract, contract and new delivery, a new life like for like the first time, like the first time. But now what happens is if you divorce her twice, and then this is the third time and she gets you angry and you tell her I divorce you for the third time. This is called a vocable. divorce. That means this woman has to go and marry someone else randomly. And then he randomly divorces her and then you marry her remarry.

00:20:49--> 00:20:56

I mean, it can be planned, otherwise you fall into another. But here's what I want to say this is the devastating

00:20:57--> 00:20:59

consequences of

00:21:00--> 00:21:46

not controlling your anger, right? Your wife is going to get you angry. Question about a doctor who said that you should divorce your wife when you're angry. You know, a question that you always ask these brothers. Do you normally take a financial decision? A decision regarding your financial a business transaction when you're angry? good points. Do you sell your house when you're angry? No. Do you buy a car when you're angry? No. You think about it. That's a great point. In a way, I think you know, for me to sit here and talk to the sisters don't get the brothers angry. Right? You're daydreaming Your wife is gonna get you angry. But one, but just don't have that word divorce in your

00:21:46--> 00:21:59

vocabulary at all. When you're angry. Think about something else that you can do except anger. But quickly. Sisters, please think when you get them and angry. Don't carry on. Right. You know.

00:22:00--> 00:22:08

One of the things that brother told me that my wife told me if you're a man, look at this challenging divorce me.

00:22:09--> 00:22:22

If you're a man divorce, so the guy said, Okay, I divorce you. Mmm. Right. Right. See, that's where the bride issue you brought up the ego issue? Yes. I will. I women should not say that. Right? I mean, come on, sister.

00:22:24--> 00:22:45

Ellen said that the breaking of a woman is her divorce regardless bought by Allah. Women who receive divorce, it breaks them right? Even if the man was not fit for them. And they did not like him yet. Because at the end of the day, you're you're called a divorced woman, right? You're no longer you know, oh, she's divorced.

00:22:47--> 00:23:28

We need to be able to watch over there and check because you didn't mention the beginning that anger management often involves the people around the angry person. Right? So this is a great point. So for both spouses, when one is angry, Leave, leave that person to relax into etc. I think once it comes to spouse, husband and wife, we don't have an issue. I mean, it has to be addressed. The issue is that's why we'll call the opposite genders. When women gets upset when women plural, right, yeah, they get upset. They like to talk about the problem. Right? But when men get upset they don't an angry they don't like they want to seclude themselves right he want to go inside the room and feel

00:23:28--> 00:23:29

the oppression and

00:23:32--> 00:23:32

oppressed

00:23:35--> 00:23:35

and stuff like that

00:23:38--> 00:23:56

to different personality to different personalities but now accommodation has to be made you see us including because she's gonna go crazy if she doesn't talk about this property right and guess what if you don't give her the platform what she will do is like going to the United Nations Yes. Who is then a nation mother

00:23:59--> 00:24:24

she's gonna come into the the issue here. She probably gonna call a friend. Right? And And what if that friend is not trustworthy so far? And and what happened between you is very personal. Right? You know, there are very personal things between the husband and wife, you know, that your secrets now are passed on outside your home, other people would come in and knows they're there, and stick their nose in your business and right.

00:24:26--> 00:24:59

Yeah, take take a minute or two, take five minutes, you know, feel good, that feeling satisfied by that feeling of being oppressed. But right away, you have to address the issues. You know, you're the head of the family, you're the man and we need to talk about but now, those five minutes or the three, four minutes that you took, should now put you in a different level, that you're going to come and discuss the matter without anger. That's the point because if you go back with anger, you didn't accomplish anything. You didn't accomplish anything. Listen, you were taking a break in order to come back

00:25:00--> 00:25:10

You have already dismissed shaitan. Right? And you're ready to be ready to discuss this in a fair way. No, I'm not you know, we learned this the hard way.

00:25:13--> 00:25:25

People don't think that I used to get so angry and you know, so halala one of the one of the best things that I learned, and I never forget the situation well, the first year I went for

00:25:26--> 00:25:27

the first time

00:25:29--> 00:25:30

Yeah, the first time.

00:25:31--> 00:26:02

So, you know, normally I took a group with me and, and, and, you know, I spoke to them about How high does a test and it's a trial right and you cannot get angry you cannot get upset falada Allah Fu kavala je de la fille has no arguing. So here I am, Mr. preacher telling them right, so we arrived in Makkah, and we found out the travel agent placed us in a very low class hotel than what we were promised. Guess who got

00:26:07--> 00:26:39

I think we you know, I was the guy who really what happened to our preacher right? And that shows you you know, that I learned my lesson from there. I think it is this, this is a learning experience that really, Allah is the one who can help you control your education. And that is the first step when I talk about anger management now how to manage your anger, okay, you're not supposed to get angry to begin with, but to manage your anger The first step is turn to Allah. And we'll take a look we'll discuss that right after the break inshallah.

00:26:41--> 00:26:44

Goodness We'll be right back with more from shake remobilization

00:26:56--> 00:27:26

Welcome back to hasten to goodness, if you're just tuning in, we're speaking about anger mains or how to control your anger once you get angry and how to prevent it. In the first place. And say crema was he has been sharing personal stories as well as evidences from the court and soon and how to do that. They say cream, thank you for being with me. And anger management is something that every single human being on Earth has to deal with, whether it's a Muslim or not. It's a very important topic. Look, we all we're all going to get angry, there's no doubt about that. As a husband, as a father as a as a employee, we're going to get interview shake. So now you have to give

00:27:26--> 00:27:53

us the tools and shallot, share with us some tools of how we can prevent ourselves and stop ourselves from getting angry and controlling our anger. inshallah, but I want to let you know also that we're not supposed to get angry. Okay, so, a man came to the Prophet sallallahu, ala Hadith is authentic. And he said, advise me yes vs. Said lovable. Don't get angry. Somebody lovable, right three times threes.

00:27:55--> 00:28:50

But we're not supposed to get angry to begin with, right? We're not supposed to get angry. But now, we could look at them, all the children of Adam are sinners. So, when we get angry is a sin is something that is a sinful thing is a sinful thing to fall into. But now how to manage it. Because that sin is like somebody who keeps drinking until he kills himself. Yeah, as somebody who smokes until he kills you that anger consumes you, anger can consume you and it can kill you in a way because of stress and stress and and so forth. Number one, number one, seek Allah subhanho wa Taala Oh Allah, you know, because anger is something in between you and your neffs Rasul sallallahu alayhi

00:28:50--> 00:29:16

wa sallam told us this da O Allah Do not let my enough's my own self to be in control of me for a blink of an eye while they kill me illa nfcu talofa in the blink of an eye, not even that, not even that, less than that, that Allah Subhana Allah Allah would come between you and your neffs that

00:29:17--> 00:29:22

triggers you to get angry. So this is the first thing number two when you get angry,

00:29:23--> 00:29:28

learn that this is shaitan shaitan get you to do this right away.

00:29:29--> 00:29:36

If you are to speak, the only words that you should utter is are all do Billahi min ash shaytani r rajim.

00:29:38--> 00:29:40

Right away, don't speak.

00:29:41--> 00:29:54

Okay, if these words are not going to come out, if you're not going to say is that if you're not going to say seek refuge with Allah from the current state, do not speak when you're angry. Number three, change your position.

00:29:55--> 00:29:59

Sitting down, lay down, stand up, sit down. Just

00:30:00--> 00:30:11

Change your position number four, remember the rewards the reward for suppressing and swallowing

00:30:12--> 00:30:14

and controlling your temper and your anger.

00:30:16--> 00:30:34

Rasul Salallahu alaihe salam well, Hadith is authentic men cover never even whosoever suppresses anger or swallows his anger, when he's able to do what apply force apply force not only anger not only loud voice, but to apply force

00:30:35--> 00:30:41

the person in front of you, you can wipe earth with him, meaning you can beat him to death. Right? Right.

00:30:42--> 00:30:45

And you're able to suppress your anger.

00:30:46--> 00:30:54

Allah Subhana Allah will call him in front of humanity in the deaf resurrection, and choose from the spouses of jinn.

00:30:57--> 00:31:06

For now, it's it's, it's it's very rewarding, very rewarding, like in the report is one step to attain. So when

00:31:07--> 00:31:10

you see one step to actually reach

00:31:12--> 00:31:13

the rank of Sn.

00:31:14--> 00:31:19

For you to overlook and pardon, you must suppress your anger

00:31:20--> 00:31:44

which would lead you to being a moccasin another way and I said it already in context when I was addressing other issues earlier on the show is seeing other people when they get angry. Watch how foolish they look. You don't want to be one of them. Right? Yeah. The last thing is is really an it's very technical.

00:31:46--> 00:31:48

The person who's working on you,

00:31:50--> 00:31:57

the person whom Satan is using to get you angry, his satisfaction is in getting that out of you.

00:31:59--> 00:32:41

You know, Shafi made that statement, you have a wound is a few who will call your home pin for Accra who an akuna. Allahu Mujibur the foolish addresses me in a very humiliating way. humiliating way. Yeah. And I hate to respond to him. Yeah. You know, now the fact that I'm not responding to him, he's not getting what he wants. He azido surfactin What does he do helma he increases he elevates his foolishness foolishness against me. But guess what? My forbearance also what is increased is increasing.

00:32:42--> 00:32:52

Look at this calendar Oh, these are the raw katiba is like a you know when you burn Musk, the Cologne or some cologne when you burn it.

00:32:53--> 00:33:15

Material thing and when I burn it, the more fire you make, the more what nice Mills come out. So it's you actually kill the person with kindness. And this is what is meant by the way. You see, laser shadow Bashara. The strength is not the one who

00:33:16--> 00:34:02

is a bodybuilder or a bodybuilder or somebody who yells louder than know the strong person because he knows that you're strong. That he knows now that you're strong. So Pamela Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam took an oath on this matter when he said, Well, azido Allahu abdon behalf when Eliza you know when you suppress your anger, and then the next level is that you're part in a let go of people. Allah subhanho wa Taala. Because of this, he will increase you in honor and dignity. For all of these are ways to reflect upon when we get angry, but to prevent anger is the ideal way but again, how to prevent it is by

00:34:04--> 00:34:25

praying by obedience, obedience, basically, because the nafs will be pure, right? When your neffs is impure is going to look for trouble. So someone who is performing the acts of obedience of Allah make enough call who's actually Muslim, he's likely to become less angry less often, you call they call them high and they call them

00:34:27--> 00:34:49

you know, there was a lot of notice. He was no no. Imagine this, you know, the people wanted to test his patience, that he was known of never getting angry. So that people you know, he was going to his village to his town. So that people grouped one another and said, let's just follow Him and just call him names.

00:34:51--> 00:34:59

So that we get him angry. So imagine every You are the son of this, you are the son of that and he's walking in front of them not even responding

00:35:00--> 00:35:33

Until he arrived at the border of his tribe where his tribe lives, you know, the border of his town. So he sat on us on a rock and he looked at them. So they said, What are you doing this? They said, Listen, if you guys go inside into my town and do this, my tribesmen are going to attack you. So I'm just gonna sit here until you finish consulting so this way nobody the same high level patient Yeah, I mean this is this is killing us

00:35:34--> 00:36:06

angry man right? You see that? You need I think if you a few a few of you get that piece yeah that you're actually killing the other person. Yeah. When you don't get them what they want is that's the point we have that expression shake killing with kindness killing respond with kindness sometimes yes check I want to ask you some people you know they make will do when they're angry. They pray to record this advisable. It is advisable okay. I mean based on analogy I mean but I really did not come across a hadith maybe there is one and I'm not aware of Okay, okay. So when

00:36:07--> 00:36:18

they say Satan was created from fire and water extinguishes distinguishes fire but again this is an analogy PS

00:36:20--> 00:36:59

you know, I see some people perhaps they are normally what Salah by the way whenever we go through hardships are also Salam general as a general Okay, that whenever the Messenger of Allah Salah come across a challenging an anger is a challenging thing he would find rest in the Salah. Okay, okay, I find some Unfortunately, some times if a Muslim unfortunately is engaging, not good behavior, like smoking or something. When a challenge comes to him or he becomes angry, he will say, Okay, I'm going to go have a smoke, I'm going to go smoke. Okay. So actually, this makes things worse, because you go from being angry, to the disobedience of a law and this is why it's a negative, negative

00:36:59--> 00:37:33

circle, if you're not careful. And that's why when you become angry, we have to turn to a law and rely on a law Isn't that right? Like the one when somebody dies, his family he goes, and he drinks, because he wants to forget, I mean, this is an escape from reality, reality but scape from awful to worse, worse, to that's not the attitude of I believe, you know, I believe that when when he encounter the experience, he just, you know, hold himself and says

00:37:37--> 00:38:13

what are we what are we? What are we gonna do? We're almost out of time, but I knew a man Muslim man, he was a good man. And he became very angry and he had stopped, you know, being obedient to a law for almost a year. And after that year, that man we came back to a law. And I felt sad for that man that he had stopped being obedient to law for a year because he had a challenge in his life. He turned away from a law in a way last year he came back I mean, so this is how you know he was able to get over his anger but it took him a whole year but it's better late than never I suppose. He in number saboo in the submittal oola

00:38:14--> 00:38:49

really to practice and exercise patience. Is that the first of the shark that's when you right yeah Asians Yeah, but somebody you know, after a year you have no retreat. I mean, where else Oh, no other resorts but Allah Yeah, that is why when we flee from Allah we flee to a locker room look at this special whoo a llama you know flee to Allah. Normally when you use the verb you're going to lay yeah from yeah not flee to right because what are you gonna go from Allah?

00:38:51--> 00:38:57

Allah is inevitable you have to return just drama. Yeah, in the law he was in.

00:38:59--> 00:39:14

I think that's the attitude of dealing with with with issues and one of them is anger. Yeah, thank you so much. Appreciate your time. And you guys at home. I hope you enjoyed this episode of patient to goodness. And until next time, we leave you in the care of Allah assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato wabarakatuh.