I Let My Desires Take Control Zina 3 On Thedeenshow

Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:02--> 00:00:03

There's only one

00:00:04--> 00:00:06

is His Messenger.

00:00:08--> 00:00:13

Back here, show radio show every week.

00:00:14--> 00:00:17

Make sure you're here talking about

00:00:18--> 00:00:20

fornication. may just said,

00:00:21--> 00:00:47

We are continuing part two, and we have with us share come out. Are you there? Sure, absolutely. So, alright, just to bring people up to speed, we were discussing an email that we got from a 20 year old brother. And to let the listeners know, this brother had wrote in and said that

00:00:48--> 00:00:50

yesterday was the worst day of my life.

00:00:51--> 00:01:39

We read this, and we'll read it again. So we can continue from where we left off. He talked about that he loved his desires take control, and he committed the grave sin of Xena fornication. He said he never felt this kind of shame before. It was so powerful. And he wanted some advice, some help. He wanted to know how to repent, how to avoid it. And last time, we left off with the mighty affects the negative effects, the ramifications of committing this major law break this major sin. And let's continue, let's kind of discuss a little bit what we talked about before and then bring people up to speed and then continue on with these effects where we left off. Excellent, it's not a matter of him

00:01:39--> 00:02:18

and hungry law was put up with Lamar fula. My bad. So we said last episode, we spoke about first that when someone commits a sin, and a lot of times people will commit a sin is that it could be a major sin. And they feel that they need to be punished somehow or that they can't repent unless they are punished. And that is not the case. Number one, we would advise the brother and anyone else in any type of situation, whether it's similar or any other kind of sin, in order to repent properly, number one, give up the sin. It's as simple as that stop doing it no matter what it is to regret, and have remorse feel bad that it happened feel bad that you did it. If you don't feel bad that you

00:02:18--> 00:02:53

did it, that's not good. Repentance, and three, resolve that you're never going to go back to it again, never going to go back to it. These are the three things. And of course, scholars are the fourth thing, if you have wronged someone, then you go to that person as their forgiveness. And you you know, you basically fix what you have wronged. But these are the three things. Okay. So that's the first advice we give the brother that you repent from the sin. And, you know, we want to hopefully inshallah, in this episode, we want to look at the, you know, first of all the effects of Zina, because like you were saying last time, a lot of people will tell you things like, well, it's

00:02:53--> 00:03:31

two consenting adults. What's the problem with that, you know, it's actually a many problems that come and there's a right of the community, there is a right of a law that you're violating. It's not just two consenting adults, then we want to talk about how to avoid it. Okay. Many people get themselves right to the doorstep of Xena. And that's a problem because then they can fall into it. So how do you avoid it, and then the solutions that Islam put forward to prevent people from falling to the natural law? Tell us before we go on there, if someone is just so used to this, I mean, they've established a prayer, they formed a connection with the one who created them. But now, you

00:03:31--> 00:04:10

know, the gentleman or the lady, they've had a boyfriend, girlfriend their whole life, they just gotten too accustomed to it. And you said the you have to feel remorseful, but you know what they want to but they don't feel it? How do you get to feeling it even? Let's say you want to feel it? And how do you get unused to this having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Okay, very good. Very good question. And this is what, you know, something any, what you mentioned is something like really, really, really serious, you know, and this is the problem in the world we're living in right now, where so many things are so serious, and they just become nothing to us. You know, one of the most

00:04:10--> 00:04:53

serious things is that when you become so used to sending that you cannot enjoy yourself unless it's a sin, you know, or you get so used to sending that it doesn't even feel like a sin anymore. This is a big problem. That's why Machado Villa on whom he was talking about how he was the believer, he sees his sins, as a mountain on top of his head that can fall and collapse upon him at any moment. Like if there's a mountain over your head, you're gonna feel afraid that it might crush you at any minute. The believer whatever sin he commits, he feels like it's a mountain it's on top of his head. And then he says the other person, you know, the one who doesn't have strong a man or the hypocrite,

00:04:53--> 00:04:59

he treats his sin as if it were a fly that just sat on his nose and he waved it away with his hat.

00:05:00--> 00:05:33

mean, you can just imagine this now, if a fly sits on, you know, you wave it away, you don't spend the rest of your day saying, Oh my goodness, the flies sat on my nose, it's just gone. It's over that instant. It's done. And so this is a problem when people think so much that you they get used to it, or that they cannot enjoy themselves unless they are sinning against Allah. Let me just share the story with you. This is a true story, man. But I'll tell you, for me it was like horrendous when I heard it, tell us a true story. One of the early Muslims and he used he was married and everything. But he's to go and he's to commit then I used to indicate or commit adultery with

00:05:33--> 00:06:03

another woman. Yes. So his wife found out this is an earlier generation, right of Muslim. So his wife found out and because they had no electricity in the homes and these things, she agreed with that woman, that they're going to switch places for that night. Wow. So she goes to the house of that woman, and the man comes at night. And he thinks this is that the other woman, not his wife, but it's his wife. He doesn't know that. But he does with her what a man does with his wife, he, he basically sleeps with her now.

00:06:04--> 00:06:34

And you know, this is also another interesting point that scholars say like in the end, I mean, to a degree, it's all the same. Why get a sin, it's all the same. I mean, the guy didn't even realize that's his own wife. He thought it was the other woman. You know, perhaps they had the same build something like that. In the morning, he comes back home, and his wife rushed home before him. So then he tells him, you know, that woman you slept with last night, that was me, I went to her and I switched places with her. You know, he said something to her one of the most horrible things you'll hear.

00:06:35--> 00:06:42

He said to her, oh, we know how wonderful you are, when it's hot, um, and how horrible you are when it's Helen.

00:06:44--> 00:07:24

It's the same woman. He enjoyed it his wife, he enjoyed her when he thought he was committing a sin. And when it's highlighted, he can enjoy it was more pleasurable to me was more pleasurable. So some people get so addicted to the sin that they don't, that they can even enjoy the same thing. If it's not a sin, this can actually be worse and used having a boyfriend and it's so casual, and sitting so casually can make it worse. So the person has to bring themselves to realize that it is very hard, the way to feel guilty about it is to realize how hard it is how much you're disobeying Allah subhanaw taala how horrible it is in the sight of Allah. That makes it much worse for you. So then

00:07:24--> 00:08:03

you can't just pray and then go and commit Zina and knowing that Allah didn't really really abhors this act. So this is one of the things and I just wanted to call it to mention a quote with you because, you know, we don't want there many people will live with fallen into this sin. I will spare you the horror stories. Yeah. I can tell you stories of people in hijab, people who are active in Tao or people who are active in the masjid people who are called chef, just you know, a good knowledgeable brother. They call him chef, he commits Xena sisters who commit horrible, horrible stories. Let's just skip over that. Okay. But the truth is this, that a lot of times, you know, we

00:08:03--> 00:08:44

don't want the listener to walk away with the feeling that you know, they're doomed, they cannot repent. We said you can repent, you follow the street, three steps, you stopped doing it, you feel regret and you resolve and never go back to doing it. That's it. I wanted to mention what if not boss very nice quote from above or below on whom I the great scholar, the grid companion? Yes. He said, he said there is no major sin. If one asked for forgiveness. And there is no minor thing if one keeps repeating it. So it's really beautiful. Let's say it again. So there is no there is no major sin. If one asks for forgiveness, looks for example, you do you commit Zina, but you ask for

00:08:44--> 00:09:24

forgiveness, you repent, you stop doing it, and you feel regret. You do a lot of good deeds to offset it. Then it's gone and Charlotte's gone. Allah is most forgiving, yes. But then he says there is no minors then if you keep repeating it, even if it's minor, you keep doing it over and over and over again. It doesn't become minor anymore. Because now go ahead. No, go ahead. Because it's not minor anymore, even if it's a small sin. That's why the early Muslims used to say something very beautiful. They used to say don't look at how small the sin is. But look at the greatness of the one that you're sinning against. So that that's being insistent complacent on the sin just keep going

00:09:24--> 00:10:00

back back back to Absolutely. And it's uploaded something else was really interesting scholar will say that sometimes, for example, if you if if you the fact that you're not afraid that Allah is watching you while you're doing the sin is worse than the sin itself. Like, you know how sometimes some people want to do something like really bad, right? So they turn off the lights, they lock the doors, and then when someone tries to open the door, they get scared out of their wits because they're gonna get caught. Yes, they were more scared that a human might catch them than Allah. Some scholars said that in itself is worse than the sin that they were doing.

00:10:00--> 00:10:38

itself, it's worse that they weren't afraid that I was watching them. So if any of the listeners, you know, has fallen into any type of sin, we want them to feel regret, we want them to realize what a great sin it was in front of Allah, you know, we don't want to expose our bad deeds, just in the in the masjid in front of our community. What about the fact that we're doing bad deeds in front of Allah? Every time we're alone with Allah, we're doing some bad deeds. And if there's a brother, let's say for who, what, who looks at haram images, for example, right? Yes, he doesn't do that in front of the people in the masjid. He didn't do it in front of the local Imam. He didn't do it in

00:10:38--> 00:11:22

front of the father, his father, he only does it when he's alone with Allah. So that means every time you're alone with Allah, you do you bring up the worst side of you. And that's where that in itself is. It's really just not appropriate for the believer. It's really wicked, in and of itself. And that's why we Yeah, what when we before we get into the effects, the evil effects. Tell us how would a person humble himself you talked about feeling the regret? Is there a formula that Islam recommends? is a thinking about death, thinking about the day of judgment? How could someone before we get into the evil effects, humble himself, so he feels this remorse, or she's excellent, all the

00:11:22--> 00:11:29

things you mentioned, are actually part of the solution to that problem. So I want to feel remorse for sinning against a lot. One of the things I can

00:11:30--> 00:12:05

contemplate all the good things that Allah does for me, and you know, when you start to do that, you can't even enumerate them, because every second Allah is doing a good thing for you. He's keeping harm away from you, keeping harm away from your family members, keeping your health with you. If you start to just look at the blessings that Allah is giving you, you start to feel guilty immediately, for all the sins that you've committed against Allah. And then that's one way, another way, like you said, to remember death, you know, just go to the graveyard. And look at that hole in the ground. And remember, you're going to be put into that, you know, that definitely didn't will help you

00:12:05--> 00:12:41

again, feel feel bad for Asians? What if you read about the Day of Judgment, you know, or you read about punishment and the Hellfire, you feel bad for that sin? What if you read about the lives of the righteous people, and how they would go out of their way to not anger a lot not to disobey Allah, and then would encourage you to be like that as well. Or if you read about the rewards in Paradise, you again, encourage you to want to stay away from the harm. So all these kinds of things are part of what will help you feel regret, and realize that you've done something bad, and not to give it a good name and just try to brush it off or the excuses that we hear today in today's

00:12:41--> 00:13:25

society. So we know that someone if they die on this pure monotheism, not worshiping any other deity, any other God besides the one God, the God who created the heavens and the earth, and everything in it, the God that Jesus prayed to the God that Abraham prayed to in the last and final messenger sent to mankind, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon them all if you die on this, that you will be engender in paradise. But is it true that if you're consistent on this sin, that you might end up getting punished for a while, before you end up getting into the paradise? Excellent, I think you've summed it up nicely what happens is, if anyone who believes in Allah, Allah, Allah, but

00:13:25--> 00:13:52

there's no God worthy of worship, except Allah, Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger, you know, that is by itself in sha Allah, the let's like kind of, like, say, the green light to not spend eternity in the hellfire. But there will be people who are followers of the prophet SAW Selim and believe in the One God because of their sins, who will have to go to the to the Hellfire until it exploits for their sins. And so that's why people need to repent before that.

00:13:53--> 00:13:54

Excuse me.

00:13:55--> 00:14:35

People need to repent. Before that before they go to the grave from sins like Zin, like stealing like alcohol, like like, people need to repent from these things, or it will cause them to be punished in the health bar where they haven't been. effects you talked about on the last show the effects and everyone got excited in their back again, they want to know what are these evil effects the world around us everything from the TV, to the television to the movies, everything is alluring and tantalizing calling you to this it seems so natural. But now you talked about the evil effects. Can you share those with us? Absolutely. And you know what? They are so so many of them. So I'm

00:14:35--> 00:14:59

going to go through them quickly. If one of them piques your interest you stopped me we can talk about it some more. But there's so many evil effects of Xena that I know that you know if we could do a whole show just on the effects but let's just go through them quickly. If you need me to expand on more you stopped me Okay. Yes. One of the obvious things many illegitimate children in society and I'm going to spare you all the studies that also link

00:15:00--> 00:15:36

high crime rate to areas of many illegitimate children who have no father figure, you know, yes. But you know, one of the things is people don't know who their father is. And it messes up the lineage of people. And lineage is important to people, even if you look, they have the TV show, one of them is called Maury Povich. And one of the successes of his shows is he will do the paternity test. And they'll bring all these women who are not sure who the father is. But what I'm trying to say is that even that's an indication to, to a lot of people that they still want would like to know who is the father, you know, many children, people who grew up, not knowing who their father is they go through

00:15:36--> 00:16:09

searches, they look into history databases, just to find out who is the father. So that's something that's important to people that want to be effective Xena, and that's a and that's net. Let me just back up. You said it stop you if if to expound on it. And I have seen some of these more reports. What do you say his name? Yeah, it's a nasty environment, you see that? They're screaming, fighting, trying to kill each other on this show, isn't it? Yeah. And then you'll find the you know, the woman crying Do you wants to know who the father is. And it'll be like four guys in the back with me for guys are the Billa. Four of them in the back all of them saying they're not the father. And then

00:16:09--> 00:16:50

they say so and so is the Father. He starts, you know, looking sad. The other three start dancing. I mean, it's just a mess when people don't can't even determine who's the woman can even determine who it is. Because Xena has become so rampant in society, or fornication. This is a good example. Yes. So that's one you've got, you know, AIDS and all the other venereal diseases and we're not even going to list how many people die every day of age on this this problem after problem most people are aware of that, but it's a result of, you know, people having having a loose or sexually loose society. All right. I'll tell you an interesting statistic. 82% of teenage mothers are themselves

00:16:50--> 00:17:31

the daughters of teenage mothers. Can you believe that? 82% 82% Yeah. So that means Zina leads to more Zina. Right. Yeah, because they committed Zina and their children commit Zina, 82% of them, a teenage mothers are Daughters of teenage mothers. So that means it leads to more Zenith. Another problem. It's an it's a society, it's an effect on society as a whole. Let me tell you something, you look at women who are raped, a lot of times they don't report rape, you know why? Because the defense is going to say they were that she was consenting. Now, because consenting is not a crime anymore. People get away with a bigger crime such as rape, so and most people get raped by someone

00:17:31--> 00:17:58

they know, known as date rape. So if you look at the the number of people who are raped by a total stranger, it's very small. Most people are raped by someone they know. But they can't report it a lot of times because it will be like written off as Xena, Xena, Xena itself a crime. So if they were in a Muslim state, if they said yes, we committed Zina, then they will be punished but now because in so acceptable people get away with rape, using Xena as an excuse

00:18:00--> 00:18:19

be children being thrown in the orphanages and in the trash because the mother doesn't want them. It was a legitimate it was outside of marriage, all kinds of problems. You know, it also tells you that if, if a boy is born to a teenage like mother, he is three times more likely to serve time in prison three times.

00:18:20--> 00:19:04

That's I mean, that's too much. Okay, how about the effects of on individuals and society? One it leads to sexual deviant. I mean, some people will have so many partners, so many multiple partners that in the end, one of two things happen one, they become deviant like the every time they need more like different kind of perverted acts in order to enjoy themselves, or to when they get married and settle with one person, they can handle one person and someone who was with 60 or 70. People can handle one. So it devalues intimacy later on with a spouse. Yes. All right. It also teaches people to only look at for men especially to only look at the opposite sex for nothing but sex. And it like

00:19:04--> 00:19:18

you find men who go bar hopping. They don't look they don't value when they meet a woman in the bar. They don't value her intelligence. They don't value her her personality. They just look at her with that in mind. Yes. You know, also it.

00:19:20--> 00:20:00

One of the other effects on on women is that the especially like you'll find the teenage mothers, they have many kinds of problems. They usually have low education levels or they will get a low level as a result of that because they have to drop out of high school take care of the baby. They usually have higher stress levels depression, greater risk of leaving school or having a lower level of education in general. Also, some women they feel that their only value is a sexual value. And so what happens they accept that and they embrace that and they start to develop only their sexual image and you've probably seen or heard

00:20:00--> 00:20:39

heard of, you know, young girls, let's say in high school or you know, maybe college or something, they feel that they're only valued for sex. And so the dress, even though coming to school, but the dress, provocatively, they do their hair and this way, in that way, and they dress in a revealing way, because they embrace that sexual image. And they try to develop it further. Because that's all that they learned from society, you see, magazine covers, internet movies, that's all the woman is a sexual object. That's the flip side. Now this is because this is because of, of these effects. This is Venus. Absolutely, because that's all the women, they feel that they're only valued for sex. And

00:20:39--> 00:21:15

that's what if you look at how women are presented in the media, it's always within a sexual kind of context. You know, in the magazines, always in a sexual way. You know, they have them stand in suggestive ways opening their mouth with the hair like this, like that. In the movie, always, it's always a sexual, it's a women start to see themselves like that, and they start to dress an act like that as well. So that's, you know, one of the effects of Xena and it keeps increasing Xena, right? When it comes to the children, there are so many problems that were that happened to children born out of wedlock or to teenage mothers. And typically what happens is the mother is so young, many

00:21:15--> 00:21:50

times that she is she's physically mature, so she can have babies, this is an interesting point, like, a woman becomes physically mature, and she can have children, and there's no harm on her. Like, for example, if a 14 year old woman has a baby, it doesn't harm her, it's actually she's physically ready to have a baby. It's actually the older woman who has more problems, or the older a woman gets, the more problems she has, yes, that means the woman is physically mature, but maybe not mentally mature, you know. And so if you.

00:21:52--> 00:22:34

So what happens then is that because you're not mentally mature, they may not take care of the child properly, and the child will have a number of problems, okay, very quickly. They have problems managing their emotions, they have the lack of trust and self worth, they are afraid of getting close to people and getting emotionally attached to people, they have anger problems, they have become what we call control freaks. They usually have poor academic performance, and more likely to fail and not even graduate from secondary school. And an interesting thing, you can even link serial killers, to being at home to fornication, basically, because most serial killers are where children

00:22:34--> 00:23:12

have either a teenage mother, or they had only one parent or they hated one of their parents. So not saying that if someone hates the mother or father, they're going to become a serial killer. But most of the time, any serial killer either was born to a teenage mother, or they hated one of their parents, or both of their parents. Or they had they lacked one of the parent Okay, so this is that that consequence to broken home no love and, and it's a result of Zin, I mean, even like Ted Bundy, for example, one of the most famous serial killers, killed 100 women, you know, this guy. And he was a, you know, very polite, very handsome man, everything he was he was born to a teenage mother,

00:23:13--> 00:23:54

there's something called bonding or attachment, I would urge your listeners, because of our time is short, but they could go and search, bonding or attachment. And it's the very intense attachment that develops between the parent and the baby, the teenage mother, if she neglects the child, he lacks the bonding and attachment factor, and he comes up, grows up, not very caring for people that can murder people that can cheat lie to all kinds of things went to zero. And then they tell you in the end, what oh, two consenting adults know, a lot worse than that. And even like I said, homosexuality in the children, because a lot of psychologists they classified as being alienated

00:23:54--> 00:24:35

from the male. So a child is born to a teenage girl, no father is available. She's living with her mother or her grandmother. And he doesn't have a male role model. That could be one of the possible things that lead that child, not to say everyone who is going to be in that environment will become any homosexual, but it's been linked to it. So all these problems we see from dinner, if someone yet and yeah, and what was your last one? I mean, and yet After all, this people will come and tell you what's wrong with it. You know, it's, it's love. It's an expression of love and no, but families are broken over it. spouses kill each other over it. The father and daughter relationships are separate

00:24:35--> 00:25:00

because of this. And younger brothers become tolerant like if, if a woman has and he gets pregnant out of wedlock or commit Zina, the younger sister is more likely to commit dinner the younger brother is more likely to accept all these problems. So it's not good. It's evil. Isn't no good at all. no good at all. doing it the right way is through

00:25:00--> 00:25:40

Marriage, that's what we, and this is what the crater wants to preserve the family. And to if you do it that right way, then we can avoid God will and all of these negative consequences. Is that right and, and and Exactly. And that would bring us back to our next point, which is how to avoid it and solutions for it. And I think the study, yeah, before you go there, what if someone says I'm gonna be devil's advocate for a second? I don't like to play that role. But tell us for the person that says, Look, I'm not hurting nobody. I have my girlfriend of four or five years. And I'm not that rampid about jumping from one girl to the next. We use condoms. She's on birth control, and I'm not

00:25:40--> 00:26:17

hurting, nobody will eventually get married. Okay, well, well, first of all, you're gonna hurt yourself in this in this life. And in the next way, you're gonna hurt yourself. First of all, it's an interesting fact. And you know, something? There's no way you can use statistics to go against Allah. Statistics. Science, always on the side of religion always on the side of Allah, not religion, Islam. Yes. Always on the side of Islam, always on the side of Allah to the person who just gave that argument. Yeah. You when you look at the statistics, you find that the divorce rate between couples who live together first is greater than between couples who did not live together

00:26:17--> 00:26:51

for you know why, wow. Yeah, absolutely. There's no way you can come around this, you know, no argument here. That's gonna work. So it's interesting that the couple that this guy who said he uses birth control, he doesn't jump around from Woman to Woman. One thing that happened is that living together like that, and sin and committing fornication, it's going to devalue, it's going to diminish the value of marriage, because later on, they live together. Let's say they live together for five years. All right? Yes, six years, they decide to go get married. So they're all they do. They go to the courthouse, it takes them about 15 minutes to get a piece of paper, and they come

00:26:51--> 00:26:53

back home, what changed.

00:26:54--> 00:27:27

Marriage to them is nothing but a piece of paper. Now, you see, it's not exciting. Now. It's not exciting. And that's why because it's only a piece of paper that changed the relationship. It's easy to destroy that piece of paper. And that's why they get divorced so quickly. You see what I'm saying? So they're harming themselves in this dunya. That's number one. And number two, and by the way, because they were committing Zina, most likely they won't be too strict with their children about dinner. And so that will encourage Moises in the future. But in the next life, they're going to harm themselves, because this is how long, they've been angling for four years, and they're going

00:27:27--> 00:28:05

to be held accountable for that. And a law is a law. I mean, if you look at it, and if we can give an example, here a stop sign if a person said, well, it's only a piece of metal with some paint on it, and then your that's only a red light, or it's only a bullet, I put it in them. But this is law, and you don't break the law of the land, nor do you want to break the law. The one who created us that correct is all you got to give an excellent example is always a consequence. You don't stop at the stop sign if you don't want to, but what look what's going to happen don't stop at a red light, but look what's gonna happen. So you gotta follow it or there's gonna be issues. Now, how do we, in

00:28:05--> 00:28:51

all the confusion out there, and everything is just so tempting. There's so much calling it seems like how do you avoid falling in this trap? Excellent. Notice, Allah says in the Quran, Allah says what Aqaba Xena Do not come near Xena or fornication or illicit sexual relations. It's it's amazing how Allah didn't say, don't don't commit and he said Don't come near it. Because in order to commit it, you got to do some things that lead to it right? Yes. You got to look at the woman. You got to talk to the woman. You got to be alone with the woman. It touched the woman and then commit Zina. So in order to stop you committing Zina, Allah stop you from doing everything that may lead to Xena.

00:28:51--> 00:29:27

That's why I said do not come close to center. That's why when so we said like you got to see the woman right? Yes. And Allah in the Quran, he commanded the believing men to lower their gaze and the woman to lower their gaze. So there is no looking to do you don't I'll go the woman and look at her because even that, especially in men, leads to arousal. So that's the first avenue that was cut off. Second thing talking between men and women has been very limited. You know, if it's, if you have to do it because of school, or you have to do it because of this or that, then you are only allowed to talk within that context. It doesn't go into exchanging phone numbers and hours of talking because

00:29:27--> 00:30:00

talking again one of the avenues that leads to Xena being alone with a woman it's forbidden for any male to be alone with a woman or like behind closed doors where no one could see them because again, you're making it easier for Xena the third person is the shape on your making it easier to commit Zina. So again, Islam prohibited that, you know, and I always give the example and it's like basically putting someone at the top of a hill in a car with no brakes. You push the car down the hill and you tell the guy roll down the hill but just don't crash into that thing at the at the end. How's he going to do it if he's got no

00:30:00--> 00:30:43

brakes. Yeah. So it's now said, Don't get in that car that's a top of that hill. You didn't say start rolling down and then just miss and swerve the object. You can't you got no brakes, you're gonna hit into it. So if Islam said yeah, you can talk to women, sit with them, shake hands, touch them hug, sit alone and you know, look at women, then you're obviously going to fall into Xena so the realistic way Islam prohibited and shut all the avenues that lead to Zina see and even then add add other things to that for example, Islam limited, you know, the useless reasons for a woman leaving the house, right? travel, you know, you gotta have your, like a brother of fathers and

00:30:43--> 00:31:24

things like that, or in the hijab itself is one of the ways of limiting Zina because the woman now is not looked at as a sexual object. She covers her beauty, she doesn't wear tight clothing, she doesn't work put on perfume, because the perfume unit attracts the man the man is attracted by the woman's appearance, her voice her center, look everything. And look, you look in the Koran how Allah prohibits the woman shaking or jiggling the What do you call it that the ankle bracelet just to not attract men's attention? So you look at all these things, Islam is doing it to prevent people from falling into the heart. So then what are the solutions? Right? The solution is obviously you stay

00:31:24--> 00:32:03

away from the you know, the shot avenues, but also early and you know, marriage getting married, right? ended the process. lm said then to the young man, he said whoever among you can get can afford it and let them get married. Because it helps lower the gaze and it protects the private protects the chastity so you get married if you're able to and that helps people from abstaining. It helps people to abstain from Xena now what if you can't afford it? person and also give another solution? He said you fast. You fast. You know it's up. But it's you know what, Eddie? I'm telling you it's sad. A lot of young men who are not married they don't fast. You know, they don't fast.

00:32:03--> 00:32:44

When and I know a lot of young people I mean, okay, I know of one young person he was not married to for 10 years. He would fast every other day. Yes, every other day, day in day out because he took it a series advice. No, I the gays fast will not it will keep people so calm. But many young people, they don't fast. And they look their gaze. They look everywhere. They look at women, the Agha woman, they look at them on television, and the magazines on the internet and the street and Saudi expect them to be calm. They're always in a state of arousal. So take the solutions Islam gives you can't get married. If you can humbly like get married. If you cannot, then fast, lower the gaze limit.

00:32:44--> 00:33:24

You're talking and you're sitting with women, and it will help you stay calm, as well. You know, so all these things that you might have gotten accustomed to, you've gotten desensitized, it doesn't matter if the whole of the world is not getting on the boat is not getting on the ship. Noah's Ark, those who didn't get on they got left behind. Exactly. I mean, it's the rest of the world is misguided unless sent me the Quran to guide me. Why should I then think Well, everybody else let me get on the boat. Right? That's the right way. I'm just want to say that, you know, this was so important to people that during the reign of the halifa, Omar Abdulaziz, he wrote to the governor of

00:33:24--> 00:34:07

Iraq saying look for every unmarried man who has no money, and arranged marriage and give them money in charity them because they didn't want that to be rampant in society. So they were working towards fixing it. Beautiful. So marriage, marriage is the key, no porno. No self, no self satisfaction. No, none of that began. And by the way, one of the like I said realistic ways to stop yourself from doing that. And from being in a constant state of arousal, lower that gaze. I know it sounds too easy, but I swear, It is that easy. will lay remember when we were single and we're around some good brothers, who would just say you lower that gaze. You don't even feel anything. You don't feel

00:34:07--> 00:34:44

anything. You go home, you're calm. And people don't have to get into the heart on people do the harm they get on the internet, all these things, because they don't know what the game is to begin with. They're always in a state of arousal. Like some people, even they might be married to one woman or two. And still, they're constantly looking at women, and constantly in a state of arousal perpetual state of just in this weird state that they're in because they don't lower that gate. I'll tell you something, I heard from from from a shift. He said, He said if I were in the club, and I only show my eyes and I walk in front of men, they might desire me. There's a man under it. You're

00:34:44--> 00:34:59

gonna desire him because you're in that state of I call it the on the prowl in order. So the guy is always on the prowl. He's married, but he's on the prowl, checking out this girl with me and looking over. Yes, he relaxed and if you if you were if you put yourself in that mode

00:35:00--> 00:35:43

When you don't look and you just calm, and you don't think about that all day, then you will not be in that perpetual state of arousal and, and just discomfort. Couple more points before we come to a close. So the marriage, along with worshiping the crater alone without any associates, implementing the way of life of all the messengers of God that we have total and complete submission, not to your desires, but to the will of the one who created you, Islam, and then establishing a commitment with a woman that you give her her rights, she gives you your rights, and then you won't have a broken home, then the child will come up with love and affection. And then everything that you mentioned,

00:35:43--> 00:35:46

you had a long list of the negative effects, most likely

00:35:48--> 00:36:33

all of this can be avoided. And Charla, I think you did a fantastic job. You just summed up everything I said in the last, however, really nice. So any closing comments, and suggestions? Now, we've talked about a lot of things. And before someone might turn off the radio show of the deen show, and they might turn on some 50 cents, or some Tupac to not get them, excited to go back to that. But get them excited to move towards the righteousness. That that that way of feeling that goodness of when you do the right thing doing God's thing, right? Hello, hey, I and I want to talk to the young people listening to the show or anyone who has a problem with this issue. And you know,

00:36:33--> 00:37:09

I've been dealing with youth for a while and unfortunately, like many people are very weak when it comes to this issue. Right? And I wanted to really believe a lie. It's not that difficult. You keep in mind, okay, I'm not going to spend hours thinking about you know, sexual relations or things that you know of that sort that cause people to be around. Stop yourself when you think of these things. Lower your gaze. You know, remember Allah remember the reward, do all the things that we spoke about Allah, it's the cannot be that difficult. I mean, if it's not difficult, Allah wouldn't have put us in a situation that impossible. Never, ever if you read anywhere in the Quran, or the teachings of

00:37:09--> 00:37:47

the prophets, or tell them that you're, you're ever commanded or required to do something that's impossible or physically impossible as a human being. So it's not impossible to stay away from, you know, like, masturbation or stay away from Xena. It's not impossible, I wouldn't ask you for something that he knows you can't do. So it's possible but we need to stay away from this environment that we're around that you like you were just saying, you turn on the music, it's talking about Xena. You know, you turn on the television and shows you're talking about Jenna. You know, Xena everywhere in the magazines and articles and movies, shows. So you stay away from that

00:37:47--> 00:38:24

environment? Are you going to just constantly be thinking about it because you're bombarded with it the whole time. For those who want to make an effort allows you to get promises you you fear Allah and Allah will find your way way out. Fear Allah, you'll find your way out. paradise. Oh, and and look, and then paradise and then let's just say this to anyone who has fallen into it. Don't run away from Allah. Many people fall into the sin. Take off the hijab, or they stop going to the masjid or they stop praying. Don't run away from Allah. When you sin is when you should run towards Allah. Oh, it's a better feeling when you run and cry to Allah than when you run away and you keep going

00:38:24--> 00:38:50

more sin because oh I'm not worthy. No you're worthy inshallah ALLAH forgive anything, any sin as long as you repent before you done you repent the proper way, which is you stop doing it. You feel bad about it. And you say I'm not going to go back to doing that and allows more forgiving thank you very much May Allah the Creator of the heavens and earth reward you again and again for being with us and we look forward to having you back here on the deen show God one

00:38:52--> 00:38:56

word you for your hard work and trauma and then listeners and Trump. Thank you very much.

00:38:58--> 00:39:03

For his blue whoa the EP

00:39:04--> 00:39:06

push pill holy