» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Perfect Your Character

share this pageShare Page
Ismail Kamdar

Channel: Ismail Kamdar

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:17

In Al Hamdulillah Namu, and a stain on the stuff of Pharaoh were not meant to be here to work Hello Ollie when I will be below him in Cerulean fusina When we see the armor Lena may yesterday healer who for the medulla or may you do for the Hadith

00:00:18--> 00:00:24

for God, Allah rasool Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who I used to live with him homicidal Allah.

00:00:26--> 00:00:36

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stated once the summary of his message, one of the core components of the message of Islam,

00:00:37--> 00:00:50

and he said well is to limit the Martha Yrel o'clock, I was sent by Allah to perfect good character, I was sent by Allah to perfect good character.

00:00:51--> 00:01:13

This is a very important Hadith that outlines for us a fundamental science of Islam, that every Muslim is supposed to study and spend their lives trying to master, but one that is often forgotten in modern times. And that is the science of Adam or o'clock, manners and character.

00:01:15--> 00:01:33

Manners, refers to the exterior, the things we do the things we say, how we conduct ourselves in front of others, this is our manners. So to be polite, is good manners to smile is good manners to breed is good manners to thank people is good manners. This is our either

00:01:34--> 00:02:24

our o'clock, our character is internal. It's the condition of our heart. Your sincerity is your o'clock, your humility is your o'clock, your generosity is your o'clock. These conditions of the heart is o'clock, and you have good o'clock and bad o'clock. And they are opposites to each other. Sincerity is good o'clock, showing up is bad o'clock. Humanity is good o'clock. Arrogance is bad o'clock. And for every good character that appears in the heart of a believer, there is its opposite. And the struggle of the believer in this world is to spend our lives, purifying it from bad o'clock, and replacing it with good o'clock. This is something that everyone should be doing

00:02:24--> 00:02:40

throughout their lives. You should never reach a point where you say, Oh, I have good character, I can relax now. Because just thinking that you have better character than everybody else could be a sign of arrogance, which is bad character. You should never reach a point where you feel complacent about your character.

00:02:42--> 00:03:20

And there are many verses of the Quran and Hadees about what is good character, what is bad character, how to go about refining your character. In fact, we could spend the whole year literally just talking about this topic. There's so much about it, we could just give over 300 cookbooks just on this topic of good character. But today's message is a simple one. And that message is we need to revive the science in our families and our community. We need to revive the science of o'clock, studying the books on this topic, discussing it, teaching it to our children working on ourselves. This needs to be something that's in our mind

00:03:21--> 00:04:02

when it comes to the sciences of Islam. One of the problems we've made in the modern era, is that we tend to focus on only one right and what's the science we tend to focus in a modern era fake. We focus on fake, especially with children, right children go into Islamic school very often, the main thing they learn is and when you when you speak to such children, you'll find that their entire understanding of Islam is simply a list of do's and don'ts that Islam is just reduced to do this, don't do that. And while the fifth is very important, in fact, it is crucial and necessary that we all understand our thick, there are other sciences that are just as important.

00:04:03--> 00:04:49

Remember, there are many many sciences in Islam and some are more important than others. Four I would say are most important for every believer to study. I will fake our character. Sorry, I will fit our laws, our clock our character, this gear to knifes how to purify the soul how to increase your piety? How do they close to Allah subhana wa Taala and Aqeedah what do we actually believe? And how firm are we unconvicted? Are we in these beliefs? These four are fundamental. And these four sciences every Muslim should at least have a base knowledge of enough to help them to get to the next level. Other sciences supplement us the science of Tafseer Hadees history they all supplements

00:04:49--> 00:04:50

but these four are unnecessary.

00:04:52--> 00:04:59

Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in many Hadith says he outlined for us the importance of o'clock, the one that we mentioned in the beginning of the goodbye

00:05:00--> 00:05:40

He said I was sent to perfect good character. Now in the commentary on this hadith, the almasi that if you look at the wording of Rasulullah sallallahu, he didn't say I was sent to teach you good character. He said, he said I was sent to perfect it. Why perfect? Why not teach? The explanation is good character is something innately known to every human being. Every human being knows you shouldn't be just, every human being knows you should be kind. Every human being knows you should be polite, right? You innately know the basis of what is good character. What Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to teach us and to model for us, is the perfection of that. We all know we

00:05:40--> 00:06:19

should be humble. Rasulullah salAllahu alayhi salam was the most humble leader in the history of this world. We all know we should be generous Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the most generous man to ever walk the face of this earth. We all know you shouldn't be sincere, there is no human was in CNN Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So what he came, what he modeled for us was not good character. It was perfect character. It was the pinnacle, it was the the level that we all should aspire towards. Right? This is the message of Rasulullah sallallahu you something he modeled for us, perfection in our character. So if you want to give people examples of any aspect of good

00:06:19--> 00:06:48

character, you will find the best example in the life of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And we see other messages we are assured Allah was repeated to the Sahaba the importance of this topic. So another Hadees he said that the deed that weighs the most on the Day of Judgment is good manners. The deed that weighs the most on the Day of Judgment is good manners. We know on the Day of Judgment, our good deeds and our sins will be placed on a scale.

00:06:49--> 00:07:29

And if your good deeds outweigh your sins, then you will get your book of deeds in your right hands. That means you pass the test, you pass the exam, you're going straight to Jannah right. So how do we make sure that the book of deeds is of good deeds is heavier than the book of sins? What good deeds can we do to ensure that our book of good deeds is heavier? Well, this Hadees gives us the most practical solution Rasulullah sallallahu subsidy heaviest of good deeds is good manners. Good manners is something we take so lightly we don't even think of it as a good deeds sometimes right? When we thinking okay, I need to do good deeds. We thinking big we thinking large scale, we think I

00:07:29--> 00:08:05

need to build a masjid, I need to build an orphanage, I need to you know, establish a Khilafah whatever thinking huge ideas, but sometimes it can be the smallest of good manners. Not even good manners to a human being can be good manners towards an animal. We know the famous Hadith, right, where there was a person who was extremely sinful, and that person was walking in the desert and they saw a thirsty dog and they went down the well and they got water and they fed the dog. And because of that, ALLAH forgive them for all their sins. A simple act of kindness, of good character towards a dog was enough to forgive their sins. That is how heavy good man is out on the scale.

00:08:06--> 00:08:09

That one simple act of kindness could outweigh a lifetime of sin.

00:08:11--> 00:08:50

So imagine if every day we conduct ourselves with good manners in our dealings with the people around us. We have good manners in our homes, good manners in our family, good manners in our community, good manners in our workplaces. Imagine how heavy that would be on the scale on the last day. Another Hadith Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was giving advice to Maha the bingeable before sending him to Yemen. This would be the last time that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would ever see Marathi bingeable. Right. So if you don't know who Mirage was, he was one of the most beloved of the Sahaba of the answer to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And he was one of the

00:08:50--> 00:09:21

most knowledgeable of the answer an answer about the Sharia. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam chose him for a very important mission. He was going to go to Yemen, where he will be established as the judge and the Mufti of that area. And he will do Dawa, to the people of that area. And before sending him Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave him some very, very important advice, advice that the main principles of our religion that all I'm I have to follow right to today. And from the advice he gave him was many different things, including, you know, the famous words.

00:09:23--> 00:09:55

Yes, you know, a lot to ask you to make things easy for the people don't make it difficult for them. Right. But she wrote that enough for you. Give them good news. Don't chase them away from the religion. And then what was the last the last last sentence that he told? What are the bingeable the last thing you would tell him? In his advice? He said, Well, Holly could NASSCO can Hashanah. Treat people with good character, have good character in your dealings with everybody? that humans are representing the message of Islam to an entire community, make sure you're represented with good character.

00:09:56--> 00:09:59

And many of our contemporary problems would be solved if we

00:10:00--> 00:10:30

simply had good character. You know, when we have problems of the husband and wife fighting with each other, and when they come for counseling fairly often is just a matter of character, someone who's arrogant or somebody who doesn't want to ask for forgiveness, or somebody doesn't know how to talk properly or someone had bad manners. Very often it just matters of character, both the husband and wife have good manners and good character with each other, then most of the time things will go well, it's the same that people have problems with their children. What's the number one complaint people have about their children, their manners and their character? Right? You see, same thing at

00:10:30--> 00:10:57

the workplace. You know that many people when when there's complaints, and you know, my boss is a Muslim, and he oppresses us. He's arrogant, he doesn't pay us on time. It's all manners and character. We improve our character, every aspect of your life improves your marriage, your relationship with your parents, your children, your relationship with your employees, your employees, your relationships in the workplace, your relationship with your neighbors, all of it improves when we have good character.

00:10:59--> 00:11:35

Now, just some examples of what are good characters that we should inspire that we should aspire to have, what are the most important things we should aspire to have when it comes to good character? Number one is Lawsonia sincere intentions, that whatever we do, we do it for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala This is number one, this is most important. The number one thing you should do for your heart is to make sure that your heart is for Allah and he's not for anybody else, that Allah comes first in your life before anyone and everything else. This is the number one aspect of a clock and this is your o'clock with Allah. Right this is your o'clock with your Allah your attitude and

00:11:35--> 00:12:13

character before your Lord. Number two. Number two honesty. Strive to be a honest individual. Have a level of honesty, where you are willing to face the consequences of your mistake by owning up to your mistake. Honesty is so important that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the person will speak a lie and he will keep speaking lies until he is known as a liar. And a person may speak the truth and keep speaking the truth until he is known as the truthful. And we know that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was known as the truth for what as the person who never spoke a lot in his life. That's why when Allah sent him the message, immediately people like Abu

00:12:13--> 00:12:30

Bakr and Khadija and Osmond and all of these people believed immediately when you ask them why it was this man never lied in his life. Why would he lie about this? This is what this is the result of being honest person, right, that you established that kind of credentialing society. Work on your honesty,

00:12:31--> 00:13:12

stay away from line number three, generosity. Generosity is one of the most important characteristics of the believer. In fact, some of the early Sufi scholars used to see that generosity is the hallmark of masculinity, that you are not a man if you are not generous. Why? Because the primary role of a man in society is to provide to provide for his family to provide for his community. If you are not generous, you're going to make life miserable for your family. You're not going to be of any benefit to society. But if you are a generous man, your family will have a good life. And whatever extra wealth you have will go to the to the orphans, it will go to the poor

00:13:12--> 00:13:48

it will go to the establishment of Islamic centers, the entire world benefits from you, and that what makes a man a real man in Islam that he provides and his provisions benefit the ummah. But that only comes from generosity. You cannot be a true believer, if your heart is miserly, miserliness leads to many other sins. So make sure that we are people of generosity and it begins with small things. It begins with small things. You're offering somebody else to share a meal with you, giving when you when you don't have much left for yourself, just giving a little bit of what you have, starting with the small things and building up. Generosity is one of the most important aspects of

00:13:48--> 00:14:28

good character for every Muslim to have. Number four, Courage. Courage, the Muslim must be brave. Because you need courage to stand by your principles. You need courage to represent Islam. You need courage to stand up to oppressors. You need courage to speak the truth to everybody else is afraid to speak the truth, courage is necessary. And as Muslims we must be from those who are brave, because if you are not brave, then the message falters, the religion faulted we falter. So we must be have courage to hold up this religion, sincerity, generosity, honesty, courage, and number five, number five, everyone should work on humility.

00:14:29--> 00:14:37

Because Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, a person who has an atom's worth of arrogance in his heart will not enter paradise.

00:14:38--> 00:14:45

And the Sahaba asked him what is arrogance? He said that you look down upon others, or you don't accept correction, you don't accept the truth.

00:14:46--> 00:14:59

Remove these qualities from our hearts, that we don't accept correction. We don't want to hear the truth that you think you're better than somebody else, or believe we should never think he's better than anybody else. Remove this quality of arrogance from your heart. We must be

00:15:00--> 00:15:11

humble. This is the way to Jannah when you accept you are nothing more than a sinful slave of Allah. That is the level of humility we all must work towards that I am nothing more than a sinful slave of Allah.

00:15:13--> 00:15:27

We ask Allah to grant us good character we ask Allah to grant us good manners We ask Allah to bless our offspring with good character and good manners and to make us from those who represent this religion properly. Subhana rahbek Erbil is that the Ummah yes if one was salam salam ala Salim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen.

00:15:34--> 00:15:59

In Al Hamdulillah now Moodle who understand when to stop a funeral will mean you'll be hit the worker literally when all the biller Himanshu Rowley and fusina Amin see the ARMA Lena Mejia the healer who along with the Lola will meet you they look for the HA the alarm about the inner circle Hadith at tabula rasa you heard you heard the Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was shallow mooring to have a certain bit, a little bit at the end Delilah.

00:16:02--> 00:16:08

As important as it is for us to have good character, it is equally important that we teach it to the next generation.

00:16:10--> 00:16:27

It is the duty of parents to teach their children o'clock and adult character and manners. It begins at home. And even in modern society, it's still there in the hearts of people that the person's character and manners reflect the home.

00:16:29--> 00:17:05

Think about it when someone is rude in public, what's the first thought that comes to people's minds? Didn't your parents teach you any manners? That's the first thought that comes to mind. Didn't your parents teach you any manners? Because it's naturally understood. Parents convey manners to next generation, parents convey good character to the next generation. So it is the duty of parents to teach your children manage their character and this begins before any other education. In formal education. It begins around the age of five or six right Islamic education Rasulullah saw some said teach your children to pray when they are seven, but o'clock and adopt starts earlier than

00:17:05--> 00:17:29

that. As soon as they are able to understand. As soon as they are able to understand three or four years old, you start teaching them not to lie to be just to be kind to share, fail to greet people to say just talk about jujitsu see Assalamualaikum. Right? Do you teach them good character from a young age as possible. And here are a few tips on how to raise a generation on good character. Tip number one,

00:17:30--> 00:18:12

be the model because children learn from what you do, not what you say. So if you want your children to learn good character, you need to have good character. And very often, you know, you find cases where a parent has vulgar language, that the same parent is shocked that their child speaks vulgar language, the parent is accustomed to line and then they are shocked when his child lies to them. Oh, what you do is what they learn how you behave and how they are going to behave. So be the model. Learn to be a person of good character and your children will follow in your footsteps. That's number one. Number two, establish a close bond of love with them. So that they want to be like you.

00:18:13--> 00:18:19

So they want to learn from you. So they are willing to accept connection from you too many parents these days focus on the

00:18:20--> 00:18:50

on the on the disciplinary side of parenting without focusing on the loving side of parenting, there needs to be both. There needs to be both. There needs to be disciplined with love. We have to have the balance in the middle. So when you establish a bond of love, it's going to be easier to teach them and you're going to be more likely to listen to you. Number three. Number three have family Halaqaat have times where you sit together with your family and study the religion together and focus on books about good manners and good character.

00:18:51--> 00:19:26

I'll recommend two books that every Muslim should have in their home and every family should study together. Number one, the book a double move read by Imam Al Bukhari. We are all familiar with sahih al Bukhari. Imam Abu Bakar is a masterpiece. Many of us are unaware the Imam Al Bukhari wrote many other books. His second most famous book is at the bottom of the book of manners. This is a compilation of Hadith and artha, about good manners and good character is an absolutely beautiful book. And it has been translated into English.

00:19:28--> 00:19:59

This is a book that I believe every Muslim home should have. And we should sit together as families and study this book. Because this is how your child is going to learn good character from the hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu some of the statements of the Sahaba and this book when you look at it, he talks about for example, chapter one, the rights of the mother, chapter two, the rights of the of father, then the rights of children, how to treat your spouse, how to treat your neighbors, how to treat orphans. It's a very, very practical book and a very beautiful book. Number two is a book react to Salehi

00:20:00--> 00:20:38

But in one hour, we react to Solly hin is more popular, really known to our community, because he's been translated a lot earlier. It's a much larger book, much more detailed, but the same theme, it's had thesis and Arthur about good manners and good character. And these are simple books. They're easy to read, easy to understand, you don't need scholarly explanation. You can sit together as a family and understand it and the life lessons from it. So I highly recommend that families have these books in their home and that they study it together. The final tip that I'll give you for raising children with good character, so he said, number one, be the model number two, establish a

00:20:38--> 00:21:18

bond of love. Number three, have family Halaqaat. Number four, when they display bad character, nip it in the bud, corrected immediately. Don't leave it, don't say no, it's fine. It's fine that they behave like that you trotted out later, you know, they'll grow out of it on their own. No, a child does not know that they're doing something wrong until someone tells them it's wrong. Right. If a child lies, sit them down and explain to them why lying is bad. And why it is better and more honest, to own up to your mistake and face to punishment or consequences for your mistake than to lie about it. If you catch a child hitting another child, correct them immediately. As a Muslim, you

00:21:18--> 00:21:55

should not do this. The Muslim is one who other Muslims are saved from the hands and town. If you catch your child stealing immediately correct them immediately. Don't leave things for later, when there is a mistake corrected immediately. This is the this is crucial for correcting character. Because what happens is, if you don't correct something immediately, mistakes become repeated. Repeated mistakes become habits. And once something it's a habit, it's much harder to change it. But if you correct it the first or second time they do it is more easier for them to correct themselves because it's not a habit yet. So try and fix it immediately.

00:21:56--> 00:22:33

So to end our conversation, today we reminded ourselves about the importance of good character and of raising our children with good character. And we said some steps we can take to raising our children will good character is to be modeled for them to establish a close bond of love with them to have family circle study circles when we study the Hadith about good character and to correct them immediately when they make mistakes. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to grant us good character and good manners to grant our children and all of our descendants good character and good manners and to make us models for others along with the idea Aloha much on the Hadiya Mattiello much on the Robina

00:22:33--> 00:22:40

Artina for dunya hashanah what will clear the Hudson are working as a banal Robina habla as wodgina was a yacht in a Kurata

00:22:42--> 00:22:48

Subhana rahbek Robin is that Yama? Yes ephone was salam salam ala Celine with hamdulillahi rabbil Alameen