Channel: Ibraheem Menk
In this lecture I talk about forced marriage in Islaam. The ignorant custom of forcing children to marry whom we want must be abandoned. Cultural barriers are causing us much pain, yet we choose to continue in our ignorance. Its time to change!
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Bismillah al Rahman al Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen illa Allah alameen wa
sallahu wa salam O Allah will be even more Sally Nabina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi Marine Allahumma salli ala Ilana Anto Salah
either Salah lbscr wala to watch him he will he will be canister in. We thank Allah Malaysia to General for having gathered us here today. And we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to surround us with the Mullah aka, and to cause his mercy and His Sakina to descend upon us, and to raise us with the MBR Allahu wa Salatu was salam, and those whom he has mentioned with them, I mean, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam stood in front of the best of people, at the best of times, and in the most sacred of places. The people were the companions of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the time was that of Hajj, and the place was that of alpha Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then
said to them, so sacred was the place sacred was the time and sacred and bless it were the people Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says in Naropa Kumar. Indeed you're up is one, we're in a coma. And indeed Your father is one could look him in Adam. All of you are from Adam.
And Adam is from dust. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made this declaration just before he died a few months before he died. Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this?
Well, for the lowly Arabi in Allah I Jamie in Ellerbee taqwa, and there is absolutely no favor no blessing, no preference to an Arab man over a foreign men except with the consciousness of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Bilal are the Allahu anhu was a an African is De Niro was a Roman, the companion of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Baraka was a an Abba Simeon and the companion of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Salmond was a Persian yet Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got along with every single one of them. These were the companions of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, after which we say about the Allah who and whom, may Allah subhanho wa Taala be pleased with them. Today, we've turned away from this teaching of Islam in such a manner that if beloved Nora bahara, the Allahu anhu was to sit next to some of us, we're lucky we would move away based on the color of his skin, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Yet this is a man who is higher than us in general. Yet these are sobre De La Hoya and boom, we're closer to Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, then we will ever be one Africa by in Arabi
in Germany in Elizabeth taqwa there is no difference between an Arab man and a non Arab man except with the consciousness of Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah subhanho wa Taala
He is the one who created us and this is why the Hadith says kulu come in Adam. Every single one of you is from Adam. What are their mommy mother? And what is Adam from the Torah, Adam is from the dust. So every single one of us is from dust. Regardless of which tribe we belong to. We come from dust originally. And you know what is amazing? Minghella cannot come we created you from dust, when we when we do come and eat and in it we will return you amin Han creado come Tara
and we will take you out bring you forth from that dust once again. So you are just you are walking upon dust, you are going into dust and you are going to come out of dust. So why the arrogance? Why do we think that because I am from this family I am better than these people? Why do we think that because I am from this tribe I am better than these people. We're lucky we are all the same except for taqwa, except for the consciousness of the heart.
None of us chose to be born with the skins that we were born into. Allah subhanho wa Taala is the one who chose Allah horrible is that you will decide
That you will be born at this time in this place into this family and this these will be your parents, this will be the color of your skin. So why is it then that we discriminate against each other based on the fact that Allah subhana wa Taala chose a color for us? Allah Subhana Allah to Allah chose a tribe for us. Do you know what we are doing when we do this? We are literally saying that I am not happy with what Allah has decreed for you, you are lower than me. Even though Allah says that that is not the case. Allahu Akbar. Look how far we've gotten away from the teaching of Islam. Look how far we have gotten away from the teachings of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Allah subhanho wa Taala says,
of people, we have created you from a male and a female. Why john, Cujo, aka eli li, li da Da Fu and we made you into tribes and groups so that you may know one another. So that you may know one another. Allah subhanho wa Taala. Allah created us from different tribes and groups, so that we may know one another. What do we do It is as though we are saying I'm not happy with that. I'm not happy with that. So what I'm going to do is we're janicoo bamaca, Ella Lee to Holly foo, so that we may have dispute differences against one another. He created us black and white, yellow and blue, black and green, whatever the colors in order for us to recognize one another. In order for us to be able
to interact get together, yet we find ourselves discriminating with the very reason that Allah subhanho wa Taala gave us to know one another. Allahu Akbar. Allahu Akbar, what changed? What changed? Let me tell you what changed. We adopted culture, more than we adopt Islam into our lives. We adopted this mindset of jaha Leah that Abu gehele and Abu lahab had that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came to fight. So if Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was to exist today, he would be against our mindset. Is that not enough for us to get rid of this rubbish that we have taken into our culture into our lives? Yes, culture is good. Culture is good in a lot of ways. There
are pros and cons. But this is one of the greatest cons of culture. This is one of the worst things that we've taken. I am better than this man. So Lee because he is from a different tribe, that men may be higher than you in general. That man may be higher than you in general, yet you discriminate against him.
If you are to continue with this mindset, then in this one specific topic, you are actually closer to Abuja, hell, then you are to Rasulullah sallallahu, alayhi wasallam. You are closer to Abuja, and then you are to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
We need to get rid of this ideology. We need to get rid of this mindset. We need to get rid of this way of thinking. And the only way to do it is to adopt a man and belief into our lives in the same manner that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam did. Allah subhanho wa Taala says in an El Nino is
indeed the believers are brothers. So connect each other. Connect your brothers to each other, make amends between them.
What Kuma, hella lacuna, moon, and place a barrier between you and the punishment of Allah subhanho wa Taala so that you may have mercy from
Allah. Allah subhanho wa Taala is talking about a man when Shaban comes to you, and tells you, you know you are better than such and such a person because you are from such and such a tribe. Then tell yourself that No, I am not. Because Allah subhanho wa Taala says that the believers are brothers, the bond of faith, the bond of you, humanity should bring us together before we are Muslim in the Christians, the Jews. The rest of the
People are all brothers and sisters in faith in humanity not in faith in humanity. And then we have our closest circle of brotherhood and sisterhood, which belongs to me known and those who believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says either attackmen mantle Dona Dena who wahoo lukaku faza we do when the one who is of sound character, and Diem comes to you then get him married. These are the two criteria that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam gave when someone of good character and Deen come to you then get him married. So there is absolutely nothing in the Hadith about a kurachi man is a honey man or a G honey man or a hobby man? There is absolutely nothing of this nature. Why did Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam only mentioned Dean and hudak because kulu coming at them. Every single one of you is from Adam or Adam.
And Adam was from just so you are all equal to each other in this regard. There is absolutely no difference. You want to go back to Jay Hillier. You want to adopt the way of Abuja hell and Abu lahab then you are not a part of Islam. We will not discriminate based on the color of skin we will not discriminate based on a person's tribe and group, the family that they come from. We will only understand that a person who is more conscious of Allah subhanho wa Taala is higher up in his eyes. And who knows this. Who knows who is more conscious of Allah subhanho wa Taala a toccoa hoonah chakra is right here. What a Shara BIA de la can be and he literally pointed to his heart, he
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who knows about the heart, Allah subhanho wa Taala none of us can say, you know, in this man's heart, he's got a little bit more pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala. So he's higher up in general that is for us to decide. So he left the difference in something that belongs to him. Allah subhanho wa Taala.
When we get married one tribe into another, what happens let us take a moment to think about the scenario. The two men and women come together, they meet for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But it is not only male and female coming together here. These are the families that come together for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala. From the day that these two decide they will get married, there is interaction between the families, what is happening, they meet each other, oh, in your culture, you do this in your tribe, you engage in this type of behavior, we didn't know that later out of who you are beginning to get to know one another. So you are fulfilling the idea of Allah
subhanho wa Taala in your life,
you're fulfilling the eye of Allah subhanho wa Taala in your life. So, as they begin to interact and mingle more and more, you find that the people naturally begin to realize that we are more similar to each other than we are different. These people eat, we eat, they go, you know, as the cola, they go to the bathroom, we go to the bathroom as well. We are human beings, we sleep, they sleep, we talk, they talk, we are human beings. So why are we discriminating against each other? What happens here, culture fell away, and Islam took over. Culture fell away, and Islam took over.
That's one concern. Or the other one was a woman who came to a pseudo loss Allahu alayhi wa sallam. And this woman
says that I was forced by my father to marry so and so. I was not happy to get married yet he forced me. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that he actually heard Danica Haha, he broke and nullified her marriage. He broke and nullified her marriage and told her you can go back to being single, Allahu Akbar. This marriage was completely nullified. So this scenario that we heard before the lecture is completely and totally an Islamic, where a person has been forced into marriage. Allah Subhana who was
Allah has made it such that this woman and this man have a choice as to whether they want to get together or not. It is not the father that will sleep next to the spouse at night it is not the mother who will sleep next to the spouse at night, they will wake up facing each other. Think about this as parents before you get your children married to those whom they don't want to marry. Think about this one lucky they will get up every day looking at each other, hating each other, hating each other. What is the point of that marriage? Who did you appease? Who did you make happy, it is only your own ego that you preferred over the happiness of Allah subhanho wa Taala and the happiness
of your children.
So your ego took over? Why? Because the person that I want you to get married to is the son of my cousin, the person whom I want you to get married two is the daughter of my cousin, so you will marry them regardless. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. When you do this, think about how Allah subhanho wa Taala feels about you at that juncture in time. Think about the fact if this marriage went forth and ahead and you died the next day you died the next day, then what would you answer the police that you will gel with? What would you say to Allah subhanho wa Taala when he said Latin cat will become hotter than a previously unmarried woman will not be married until her permission is taught.
What kafer is in Ohio, Arizona law. They asked How is her permission to be sought? Carla suku to her, he says when she remained silent then that is her permission. Do you know what happens today? The father goes to the daughter Hey, you know I have so and so in mind. So I want you to get married.
And the daughter is so terrorized to say you know that she remains silence. So they say that, you know the Hadith says that she remains silent. So I accepted her silence. You are dirty in your intention. Well Allah you are dirty in your intention. Why? Because you know that she was terrorized with the gun of culture to her head.
Before she said she kept quiet. She knew that what happens? If I am to remain silent?
They will kill me.
Simple and you think this is a lie? You think this is a joke? Or law? It happens in reality. Fathers threaten their daughters you know what if you don't get married to so and so I will kill you? May Allah subhanahu wa taala protect these people who are in such contaminating relationships. May Allah subhanahu wa taala protect these people who are in such difficult difficulty and hardship. I mean, I have one message to the sisters and these brothers who are suffering through these problems. Remember a bull is that he will Jalil has not left you you may feel discarded by your community. You may feel discarded by your people. You may feel discarded by your own father and mother. But trouble
is that you will Jalil has not left you may he will not either.
And as for the one who responds to he who is in dire need when he calls out to him
soooo Jaya don't come Hoda
Isla whom Allah and he is the one who raises the difficulty, the hardship and he makes you successes on Earth. Is there any god besides Allah subhanho wa Taala remember that our Buddha is that you will Jalil is greater than your father greater than your mother greater than the tribe that you belong to greater than everything in existence. So Allah subhanho wa Taala has promised to help you turn your hands to rub bull is 31 Jalil don't give up hope in the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala we you know, clean chedid this was a messenger of Allah subhanho wa Taala when his people had let him down, he says I wish I had a strong corner to return to if you have a uncle, an uncle, who understands if
you have a relative who is sympathetic to your problem. If you have a chef whom your parents respect, go to this person, seek out help. Don't continue in this marriage and get out of it as soon as possible. Because we've seen cases where people are forced to get married and later on in life.
What happens they either end up beating their spouse, or they end up being violent against them? Or May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect them, they end up even taking the lives. May Allah subhanahu wa taala protect us. So don't carry on in this toxic marriage. And the sooner you do it, the better. Why? Because if you are recently married, you don't have children tying you to that person. They are less emotional ties to the person. Yet, when you wait and you have years that have passed, you have years that have passed, then perhaps there are children involved. Perhaps there is more of a family tie between the two families, so it becomes more difficult for you to separate. So try and separate
at an early stage. But even if you have children, remember that do what you've got to do in order to survive in order to live. Allah subhanho wa Taala will take care of them. Do it in the most wise manner possible. Do it in the most wise manner possible as easily as possible. But when this lady who says that I ran away, it makes your blood boil when you listen to something like this. Why did the parents force her in the first place because they preferred themselves over the happiness of their child.
July be about the a lot more and who was a Sahabi of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And this hobby can Ademi Mel kilka. He was low of looks. He didn't have great looks, and he was low in the cultural ladder. So in this society, he was looked down upon Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he goes to an unsavoury man. And he says, you know, I'd like you to get married, you know, for your daughter to get married to this man. So the man says, Hey, Tasha, we are Omaha. Let me go and speak to her mother. So he goes and he speaks to the mother. And the mother says, you know, that is Jelly Bean. He is of low social standing. I don't think we should accept this. And the girl who was being
proposed for hears this and she says I Taro Dona am rasulillah are you turning away rejecting the matter of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the parents immediately understood that this what we are doing is actually cultural. It is tribalistic. It is bad. So let me let us get rid of it. They accepted the proposal of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
towards the end of his life, in fact, right at the end of his life. July Viva la de Allahu anhu went out to battle.
And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam after the battle he is looking for those who have passed away. And he finds that July v. Brody Allahu anhu is missing. So he asks the US habit of the Allahu anhu do you help? Definitely don't I mean I had, are you missing anyone? So Rasulullah they tell Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that there is nobody that we can find. We've looked for everybody. And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Well, our kidney FTD Judah Habiba but I missing July be brought the Allahu anhu This is a man of low social standing. This is a man who was poor, he was bad looking yet Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam misses him. And then they find
him lying amongst the dead. And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam walks up to him. And he says hi, Mimi. And I mean who? This man is from me, and I am from him. Allahu Akbar. This is the culture of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. It is the culture of Islam. It is the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala. We have adopted a different culture. Imagine someone was to come with us, come to us with a proposal. This man is poor. Not only is he poor, he is not good looking. Not only is he not good looking. He doesn't have a social standing. He's not a poet. He is not a speaker. He is not anyone to be looked to in the social ladder. Imagine someone wants to come to us with such a
proposal. Yet the man had good Dean, and he had good hook. We would reject the proposal. What law he that is the clear truth. We would reject the proposal in most cases. Yet Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the one who brought forth such a proposal to an unsavory man.
And this marriage happened to the extent that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says had a meanie or an amine who this man is from me, and I am from him.
So where is this culture coming from? We've got to ask ourselves, and why is it that
we've adopted it so strongly into our lives. Because we have moved in moved away very far from the religion of Allah subhanho wa Taala because we have adopted the ways that are wrong and bad, completely bad. So Allah subhanho wa Taala has literally left us to our own affairs. May Allah subhanho wa Taala protect us when it comes to forcing in Islam, then there is absolutely no force in Islam. In fact Allah subhanho wa Taala says
domina there is absolutely no forcing into the religion. The truth has become clear and manifest from that which is falsehood and bad.
For me, I mean we learn you work for
do this 10 seconds
or so the one who believes in Allah subhanho wa Taala and this believes in the hood he has held on to the firm handle of Allah subhanho wa Taala but that is stem circa below what he was taught even Christianity a person who is a Christian, Jewish Hindu fire worshiper, we will not force them and shove the religion down their throats we cannot because the uncle of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam died upon another religion.
The uncle of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not accept Islam. This affected Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam But did he ever put a sward to the neck of his uncle and say accept Islam? Because I know it is better for you? No, that was his choice. Family.
fell for the one who wants to believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala let him believe in Allah subhana wa tada and who he wants to disbelieve in Allah subhanho wa Taala let him disbelieve in Allah subhanho wa Taala why in artisanal olive oil Amina na Allah subhanho wa Taala says we have prepared for those who are oppresses a huge fire so the choice is their choice in this dunya they will face the consequences in the earth era. This is regarding the deen of Allah subhanho wa Taala. How do you then force your child into marriage? How How do you force your child into marriage? And then you did come and claim that you are following the revelation of the messenger by saying she remained silent.
Really? That is your attitude. That is what you're going to say to Allah subhanho wa Taala on the day of pm if you are truthful Think about this. When you say this think about yourself in front of horrible is that you will Jalan when Allah horrible is that you will Jelani asks you that question that why did you force your daughter into marriage? Why did you force your son into marriage? And you will say it was your revelation? There is no lying on that day. allow
him to can nimona add him What is shadow Juno? Bheema can we are alone, today we will completely seal the mouth and the hands will speak and the feet will speak. This is what will speak before a bull is that you Angela you will not be able to utter a life before him.
So think about this before you force your daughters and your sons into marriage. Allah subhanho wa Taala he says yeah, you have Latina M and o la Hey Lula come and Terry tonisha Cara Ha. It is not halal for you to inherit the women, while forcing them
while forcing them in the time of javeria. They would inherit women, as though these women were merchandize as though these women were commodities. So if a person passed away, then his brother would take all of his wealth, all of his wealth, and then inherit that, including the woman yet she was not a commodity. So Islam came and gave the woman rights latin capital B kurata. To sell them previously unmarried woman will not be
will not be married until her permission is sought. So Islam gave rise to these women. So look at the difference today. We are engaging in forced marriage which is part of Jamelia. Yet Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came removing and destroying this culture of forced marriage. Let him come we'll be crew hotter to stay then she will be helped
Permission will be sought. Remember
that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is the one who gave these women these rights from Allah subhanho wa Taala.
Were in our two most evident as
can as well.
Lucia. And when you want to change one wife for another, you want to change one wife for another. Then you have given one of them a treasure in Mahara. Then, fella hoomin who shy don't take anything from it whatsoever. Don't take anything from it whatsoever. A man came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, my wife has committed Zina. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked him and they both claimed the opposite. The wife was saying she didn't commit Zina and the husband was saying she did. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made them do something which is known as mula Anna, where a person claims that if I am lying, then the curse of Allah subhanho wa Taala is
upon me. And the woman claims if I am lying in the anger of Allah subhanho wa Taala is upon me. And then Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says to them, that you know, between you two that one of you is truthful and other one is a liar. So fear Allah. So the man says that you know, I am worried about the Mahara, the Mahara that I have given her. So Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says that, that Mahara if you have given her then it is in exchange for the enjoyment that you have had in your marriage with her. And if you are lying, then you are further away from it than you deserve in the first place anyways, so he was not allowed to take this matter back. All of this, all of
this, giving the woman a right in Islam. And Allah subhanho wa Taala later on in these as he says, what a husband I mean, komiza can haleiwa these people, these women, they have taken a very heavy oath from you when you got married to them. So this afternoon Nika, was taken by the woman by the words of Rob bullies, he was jealous. It was her right to take it in the first place. It was her right to accept in the first place. What do we do? We remove and snatch away that afternoon Nika. What are you doing? You are taking the people back to Jaya helia
remember that Allah subhanho wa Taala hears your cries. Allah subhanho wa Taala yours, you're the difficulty that you are going through. And there was a woman at the time of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam who came complaining about her husband, complaining about her husband and I shall be Allah Allah says that I was in the room when ajah Attila mu J Dilla. To Illa Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when the arguing woman came to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
and I could not hear what she was saying from where I was. But Allah subhanahu wa taala revealed verses or the semi
colon at tujuh Dino caffyns lg ha whitish tacky llama Allahu
wa Kuma that even though you did not hear Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaking to this woman, Allah subhanho wa Taala from above the seven heavens. He heard this woman complaining to Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, my husband I bought children for him. I did such and such for him. I served him all my life. And after this, he claims you are like the back of my mother. This was a statement of Jay Haley. Yeah, that was uttered. But the point is that I Asia hora de la Miranda could not hear what was happening yet Allah subhanho wa Taala. From above the seven heavens heard the cry of this woman, the play of this woman. If you are suffering in such a marriage, then
put your head on the ground for abilities that you will whisper into the earth to her abilities that you will Jalil and he will hear you from above the seven heavens. Never ever, ever think that Allah subhanho wa Taala has discarded you that Allah will
Who Allah has left you because when you do that, then you are following the footsteps of shavonne He wants you to really reach a point where you will say that I've had enough. I no longer believe in Allah subhanho wa Taala imagine you reach that point, you utter those statements and you die tomorrow.
You've left without the man in your heart. You've fallen prey to the plot of shaden you've lost not only in this Jr, but in the theater as well. So never lose hope in the mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And remember that Allah subhanho wa Taala is with those who have the hearts broken. Allah subhanho wa Taala knows what you are going through, put your head on the ground, pour your heart out to him, and don't become depressed. Regarding your situation. Allah subhanho wa Taala most definitely knows, and he will most definitely open up a way for you.
How do we get rid of this mentality and way of thinking?
The only way to do this is to tackle the problem at heart. And that is that the parents that are involved, need to understand that no matter what tribe, the person that has come proposing belongs to. If the deen and the Hulu are good, then we will get them married. In fact, even when Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says about the woman twin capital model a truly Outback. A woman is married for four things. Li D Neha, what do you Jamali her Will you marry her when he was in Serbia? She is married for her for her lineage and for her wealth and for her beauty and for her Dean for the thoroughly that he Dini Terry, but yeah, Doc, so be successful with the one of Dean, may your
hands be rubbed in dust, meaning May you be successful. May you be successful. So the dean is what matters the dean is what counts because ultimately when you get married to a person of Diem, then that person will not only preserve your dunya but they will preserve your appeal as well. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to grant us a beautiful return to his teachings and to the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam aku Kohli hava
muslimeen I mean