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Islamic Manners #15

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Hussain Kamani

Channel: Hussain Kamani

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Episode Transcript

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It's something that you learn with life. As you move on with life, you learn to manage your tone and be mindful of how you speak

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Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam when he converse with people, he had a very soft tone, the Sahaba they described him that the use of the logo it was cinema was not one who raised his voice.

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Among the items that was common that when a person would be in the market, specifically when they would be buying and selling and placing bids on items, people would raise their voice above the other person to make sure they were hurt.

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And when the Sahaba described us with a loss and Allah, Allah will suddenly say, well, that's a hub and Phyllis swap,

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that the recent Allahu alayhi wa sallam specifically was not one to raise his voice, even when it came to the market. When it came to dealing in transacting, there were moments where a sort of loss of Allamani was sitting did raise his voice. For example, when there was a long one he was sitting would be giving a football and it was a very passionate subject that he was delivering. So then he would become very passionate when he was speaking. Similarly, when or SUTA Lasala, Juana was sent him was disappointed in someone and he was very angry, he would then raise his voice, and then he would speak to that person, letting that person know just from the inflection in his tone, that he

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was not pleased with this individual. But this wasn't the status quo. This wasn't how Nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam generally converse with people, he spoke to them in a very soft tone.

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One of my good friends, Imam, Anwar once invited me to his machine.

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And he asked that I deliver a mouthful brother.

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So I was there and I delivered a demo football and his request.

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After the football was over, one of the Muslim leaders came and he said to me, that I really enjoyed your football. I enjoyed the content, I enjoyed the lessons that we learned. I really wish though you weren't shouting at us in the hookah.

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You know, we're adults. And we prefer that people speak to us in a soft tone.

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I didn't realize that I had raised my voice in the football. But from that day onwards, I made it a point to take extra attention to that, that when you speak to someone, even if you're giving a lecture, Don't raise your voice, unless the point you're delivering requires that people generally appreciate someone talking to them in a tone

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that they would speak to their friend with.

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That they would speak to appear with very kind, soft, easygoing, tone that isn't heavy on their ears and heavy on their psyche, and heavy on their on their spirit as well. It's easy going. There's so much research out there, specifically, in the area of parenting, and nagging.

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Nagging is something very common with most parents, when they don't like something when they want something done, they begin to nag. But the psychological harms caused by nagging are so profound. And they're so dangerous, that it's almost a one thing every parent must make sure they never do. And the thing about nagging is that, for the most part, if you were to study the language, it sounds very normal, that there's nothing that was said that's wrong here. The harm that's done isn't necessarily through the words, it's more done through the

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the tone, it's more done through the body language, the nagging that goes on.

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It doesn't help it actually harms. And it's not just a small harm, it is a massive harm cost. So sort of loss at Allamani was sitting with you would speak to people, when he would interact with them, he did so in a very pleasant matter. For the Sahaba appreciate it, what sort of loss that Allahu Allah you will send them was saying, so be mindful of who you're speaking with, whether it's friends, peers, acquaintances, strangers, the young or the old, and adopt a tone appropriate for that conversation. He then says that it is important to adhere to this with one's parents or someone of their status, or those elderly and notable people whom you whom you ought to respect. So there

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should be a general courtesy offered to everyone something Shackleton photogra with the highlights again and again in the book, that there is general courtesy you offer to everyone. But then you have to remember now when you're dealing with your teachers, when you're dealing with your parents, when you're dealing with elders in the community, that now needs to be emphasized further unit. You need to not focus on it even more that if I'm speaking to my parents, what kind of tone should I use? What's the best tone and we all slip? We all fail? Don't hate yourself for failing because that's a part of who we are. We

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I'll make mistakes. But in your mind, you have to know that my goal needs to be that when I'm speaking with someone who is senior to an elderly person, I'm not disrespectful to them, that I speak appropriately to them.

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Even if what you're saying is right, or what you're saying is wrong. I mean, that's a whole different discussion. The objective truth and the conversation is not up for discussion right now. We're not talking about that. We're talking about the way you choose to communicate that to your parents. Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in the Quran, well for the nomads, and I have to eliminate Rama have a rabbit Hungama camera but before that, Allah says, in my blue one, in my blue one, Pinnacle, Kibera huduma Okie Lahoma for not Hula, hula ofin wallet and her Hula, hula mama Olin Karima. And if you look at the translation of these ayat, this is what Allah subhanaw taala is

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saying, Be soft, be tender, be kind with your parents. As they get older, their softness will begin to fade and harshness will replace it and now it's your job to be soft with them as they were with you. Well for the homage and I have a little rubber Han hula Houma Kamara Bayani Saavedra, right, that the one that was soft yesterday is not becoming rough. So now those that were are now growing to that age where they are mature, and now they need to be soft with their parents and also with their teachers, and also with the elderly, the elderly folks in our community, you have to understand they are rough on the edges, because they've gone through life. And sometimes they are

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looking to get to the end goal as soon as possible. Being soft, being kind, it requires you to invest a lot more in each conversation, whether it's just with your words, or your emotions, your heart. And when a person is rough, they're basically cutting through all the extra emotions. And they're saying this is the final point. And that comes off to be that rough rock that's that hasn't been fine tuned properly. The elders in our community, and I speak on their behalf, just advocating here, it's very possible that they're exhausted, they're tired, they reach a point in their life where they feel that they don't have the energy to go through all of that anymore. I'm not saying

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it's right or wrong. I'm just saying that's the way it is that this is what it is, whether you like it or not is up to you. But this is what's right for you. And this is objectively what's wrong here. As younger folks, that's where we need to put on a filter. And we need to be able to listen to them with mercy. Just as we want people to speak with mercy, we have to learn to listen with mercy, and overlook and understand that maybe one day when I reach an age, I will become that person. So I hope that if I'm kind of with someone today, tomorrow, someone will be fine with me. We can always have high expectations of people. But the way to actually live in harmony and peace in the world is to

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instead of applying those expectations on others, turn them to yourself. But I can tell this person that I need you to speak softly, this elderly person that you need to lower your voice. Or what I can do is instead of arguing with that person, just say yes, and understand that they're at a point in their life where I'm not going to be able to accomplish much what I'll do, I'll just say yes. And I'll say okay, and I've learned my lesson, whatever lesson there was there and move on moving on. When I communicate with other people, I won't make the mistake that I just encountered, right that right. If in your mind, you're set on fixing the world, unfortunately, you're going to be very

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disappointed.

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Because the world isn't going to change on your timeline.

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The world is going to change on its own timeline. Every person has a window of change and that window comes to them when ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada presents it to them. For someone it's when they attend to Halaqaat or the person when they're outside going for a walk another person while they're doing to our for someone that's in the middle of a divorce. Everyone has a window of change. They're not going to come to your window, you may want that change from them. But if it's not the right time, then it's not the right time for them. In the meantime, continue to be patient and be a positive contributor to society to the people around you bring peace to their life, as you can. Yes.

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The core event is that the advice of the man to your wife well

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and lower your voice

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I have in continues, he says walk through the fee Mochica will mean Solotica and then what does he say? In an corolle Swati la Soto honey. So he tells a son that was moderately well. What are the few Mochica Don't be arrogant when you walk. Be moderate be calm, be soft when you walk. Walk Google Mini Celtic

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What both that means to lower something for meaning your whole formula decided to lower something. So while the movement Celtic and lower your voice humble your voice, don't be too loud when you talk. And then he says in uncurl a Swati indeed the most detested of sounds, Lesotho, Hamid is the sound of a donkey because when a donkey makes its noise, how does it sound? It's very it's a very high pitch. Right? And it is a sound good. So hear you saying that? Don't be like a donkey that's always loud.

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Yes, go ahead. He directed and to speak in a gentle manner for speaking loudly is the ugly.

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verses two and three, as soon as we

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focus on

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weather

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and

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in an email,

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do not sweat.

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We learn to

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love what

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are you believe? Raise your voices above the voice of the prophets,

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nor speak aloud to him as you speak aloud to one another, less your deeds become big, and you proceed not those that lower their voices in the presence of Allah's Apostle. Allah has tested their hearts for piety for that is forgiveness and a great reward. There was a hobby of Rasulullah sallallahu Mahna he was sent to when he heard these verses of the Quran.

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He was so terrified that he stopped attending the gathering of a sort of lesson alarmism.

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And the reason was because he was a thief. He was a speaker. And he had a very prominent strong voice. So even when he was having small talk with others,

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he 10 He tended to speak in a louder tone so people could hear him. But he heard this, I have the foot on that not a swatter. confocal solten Nebby that do not raise your voice above the voice of the Prophet. So now he was terrified that what if I do such a thing?

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And the only way that he could be sure that he wouldn't do it because I put on warned and Tabitha Malcolm entrematic aroon, that your good deeds will be void if you do such a disrespect. Allah will wipe out your good deeds and you won't even realize. So he was so worried about this that he had stopped attending the gathering and maybe saw something altogether.

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So the loss of Allah Allah was set on inquire. He then asked him Where were you? He explained the recent loss and then gave him confidence that no, no you can continue to come here. Continue to come continue to benefit, but the adult still remains. If you visit the grave of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam today, most of the nemaline Madina Munawwara about take us all soon.

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When you stand in front of the grave, little sort of loss of Allah Amane was sitting right above his grave, this exact idea is inscribed there.

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Lots of swatting for puzzles and maybe reminding people that will come until the day of judgment to give someone a piece of the law. So don't do that. Don't raise your voice above the voice of the civil law. When you're in front of the prophets of the law, my neighbor's son, be humble, be saw easy. And then he says in the Levina with una ASWAT Marinda Serena indeed those who lower their voices before the Messenger of Allah would that he can lead them to Hana Lago, hula hula Taqwa these are the people who Allah tested their hearts to see their righteousness in their piety. humo FotoMagico an audience for them, it's forgiveness, and a great reward.

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I think of this idea in two ways. There's one that's the most obvious one, which is that when you do speak, lower your volume. That's one right there. That's simple. But there's a second point that I reflect on from this idea that if Allah subhanaw taala is telling the Sahaba to keep the volume of their words lower than that maybe said Allah why they will send them then what about the intellectual arrogance that people have above revelation?

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Allah subhanaw But I was also telling them to lower the volume there to learn to do it. Kiba a messenger of Allah, learn to do it ah, the Messenger of Allah. Don't let your ego be so bloated that now you begin to raise the volume there and you're not willing to obey or listen to what Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has to say, and what Allah subhanaw taala has to say. Yes. So you

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said that after the revelation of these verses, what

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Never seen and I

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wanted to address this

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talk as if he was whispering. But some of us

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I hear about some of what

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he said, because he did not fare well. This shows us how this habit, one Alanya limit marine were very keen to do and to practice upon the teachings of the sort of muscle of ours.

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We live in a world where people are so caught up with understanding the meaning and reason and philosophy behind everything

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which has its own merits by the way. The Sahaba were not like that. For them once the Quran was revealed, or once Nobody said along it was said and said something what became the priority was how they can do it. How can we practice this? They were a people of practice, a people of Amazon and you see this that when people begin to over philosophize things, and then when they were worried about the reason, the logic behind everything a little over the top, they're going to go out the window. So when I look at young people in today's Muslim world, I see people who are so educated about Islam, that the average young Muslim in America that I know

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their knowledge of Islam is much greater than the average Muslims knowledge was let's say 5060 years back

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the our monastic common people didn't know much about their Deen there were some people who are Lama who studied and they would then tell people this is what you do. This is what you don't do. The average young person that I meet today knows a decent amount of the team. They can engage with you that this I've heard this opinion what about that perspective, what about in this scenario,

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we really has gone up however, let's compare the two again. Those people that live 5060 years ago you saw them they were always in the masjid before the other one was even called.

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If you went to the masajid before the other one was called you saw the sifu for almost filling in people were not there.

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They walk to the masjid every day. They were particular after fighters Salafi sat in the masjid, you will find them reading Quran doing their aka you came to the mesh on a Friday before a little bit from mother to be found people sitting there with their hands raised making Law.

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Read it, most people were not even capable of reading the scene in their own in our view. So they would read it as a transliteration in their own language. They would find their own language and and in whatever language they were reading it but they would put the words together because they knew this had to be done. very particular about Cinda there was no distinction before them between Summa logic and photo Fajr was for a CA two and two. So they've heard all four it wasn't too soon to follow. These are people who are very focused on on

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little knowledge, a lot of mama.

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Here we are so much more knowledge. But Ahmed is going out the window monitor we want them window, this habit of Allah Allah image main where the balance where they have good knowledge of the theme. But with that they also had a good amount of

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knowledge itself won't change much in your life. It's through Amahl and good deeds that change will occur.

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But again, let me say something, to be very honest, man as well themselves won't change you. Because they can easily become ritual and habits. In order for them to be transformative.

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The Amal must be carried up with if last and with sincerity.

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That's when your change begins. You have sincerity, purpose drive, you're doing a good deed. And then as you continue to add knowledge to it and add more perspective, more perspective, you go deeper and deeper into your actions. And that's where the change actually comes from.

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Yes, go ahead.

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How often

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Rogan biography of

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the eminent scholar of the great tower and whenever he was in his mother's presence, he would not talk. You talk in such a low tone, that you would think that he was

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in his biography of the liquid asleep was a student of democracy.

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And one of the famous authors How could definitely get to know it once his mother called him and because he responded with a voice louder than hers. She was fearful and repented by three two slaves. Awesome, awesome, even better and cool feedback.

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The famous army says, I have visited funny

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and advanced spoke loudly to this police

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require stop, you need not talk about, you should only talk loud enough to make your listeners hear

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out the art of listening. If the person starts telling you something that you know very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it, do not rush to reveal your knowledge of it, or to interfere with his speech. Instead, you should show your attention and concentration, the Honorable 70 email a lot of you

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have said, a young man would tell me something, I wouldn't listen to him as if I never heard it before, although a makeup hurt, even before he was born. So here, a little flexing there.

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But uh, he's a point here, the art of listening. So it's beautiful, because he talks about the etiquettes of conversation first, and then he brings a second chapter, which is the art of listening.

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The reason behind this is very obvious that in order to have good communication, you need to speak appropriately, but you also need to listen properly to

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he says here that you should pretend as if you do not know it, when someone tells you something, instead of interrupting and saying, Yes, I've heard this hadith, or Yes, I know the story, or Yes, I know this boronic iron ore. Yes, I know this recipe.

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This is few things happening here. The first thing that's happening is that this person who's telling you their story. There's an excitement on their part, but you guys agree.

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Something that's important to them something they look forward to maybe share this piece of information.

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When you jump in and you cut them off, what happens?

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They lose their excitement. You kind of kill their mojo.

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My daughter, she goes to an Islamic school. So every now and then she'll come back and tell me a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu.

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She says sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, so she starts assurance sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, so yesterday, what did he say? And she'll make up something really random. Something she knows she knows is a good thing that I should agree with that I probably agree with, because it's a good idea like sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, to put your shoes on the rack.

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So originally, I would tell her no, he did not say that.

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My wife said to me that you need to stop doing this. Right? Because this is not a moment to do any fact checking. Rather, she's excited to share this. So just listen to it or nod your head and be excited. And I noticed that when I started doing that, she just became more happy. She was more excited to talk about Rasulullah sallallahu.

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So when someone is sharing something with you,

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I know there is a desire to fact check them to correct them maybe or to even tell the story. Trust me, it happens with me all the time. Or if someone sharing something I'm really inclined to tell them. That's not what happened actually. Or maybe this is another variation. This is a more authentic version of what happened nerding out a little. But you have to realize, if you're not in that moment, the chances are you're being more of a jerk to that person. What needs to happen is you just need to hear them out. Just listen to what they're saying. When you listen to them, he says listen, you should pretend as if you do not know it.

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I think this is beautiful, too. One thing is when you pretend that you don't know it, you listen to that person attentively and allow that person to fully share what it is they're sharing. That obviously it's opportunity presents itself and there is a need for some fact checking, you can go ahead and do that. If again if it's appropriate to do so.

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But there's a second thing here that I think is also beautiful.

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Which is that when you sit there and listen to someone as if you have no idea what they're saying. You don't project your own mind your own realities onto them. You listen to it for the way they're trying to say it.

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You guys understand this? If you've already made your mind that that you know this situation,

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then you're not listening. You're just projecting on that person. That from my view, this is right and this is wrong. Therefore this person must be right this person must be wrong. But when you like he says you're pretending as if you do not know it. Now you're giving that person a chance to start right from the beginning. That you tell me

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What's going on this marriage, you tell me what's going on in this business relationship, you tell me what's going on with your health, I don't want to tell you what I'm going through you tell me what you're going through. That way, when you do listen to that person, there's just a lot more faster. And if lost something that the other individual who is doing the speaking will very much appreciate. So he says that your you should show attention and concentration, that show attention. Look at that person, give them some iContact. Or maybe make sure you're nodding your head along the way to make sure they're, that they know that you're listening, and you're paying attention to them.

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They say that if you want someone to know that you're listening to them, when it comes to eye to eye contact, you should try to focus on the triangle, you guys know the triangle.

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It's kind of like this area,

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between the nose and mouth area that this is a triangle, they say that your eyes should be focused on the triangle. If you feel very confident, then you can include the eyes into that triangle. But eye contact is a tricky one. Because if you don't land it right, it gets awkward very quickly. Right. So that's why for most people, rather than making eye contact is a look at the nose and the mouth area. That way you can maintain that person feels that you're paying attention that you're connected with them.

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In today's world, what happens when people are talking to you what other people doing usually

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on their phones.

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If you're on your phones, taking notes, it's a good idea to tell people that I'm taking notes, otherwise assumption is that you're playing Candy Crush.

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That's what we will assume. Yes, go ahead.

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I'm one

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of the two.

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Said, if a person tells you something which you have heard before, or use that you already know, do not interrupt him, so as to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is a sign of the route until

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the honorable EMA. So that's an interesting point that he mentions here. But when you are interrupting people, one possibility could be that you're interrupting them, because you want to make a point that you've already thought of this.

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If you've already thought of something, and you're going to ask someone for to listen to you, or you're going to have a conversation with someone, and you're not interested in hearing that from that individual again, then just make it clear that I've already thought of all these things, and maybe you could help me out in a particular area. Does that make sense? Because now when that person starts speaking, and then you continuously interrupt them, that individual is going to wonder, then why did you come to me in the first place?

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Right? Why are we even having this conversation, if I'm going to be constantly interrupted. So when someone is talking to you, even though what they're saying to you, you may have considered it someone said, I don't think you should think of so and so for marriage because of XY and Z reason. Even if you've considered it, don't say it by telling that person you've considered it. It's not like it's going to change the course of the conversation. You can listen to that whole part of the mirror that whole part of what they're saying. And then if there's something that still remains outstanding, you can then ask them to share on that independence.

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That yes, you talked about this situation. What about this other situation? Listen to people. Yes.

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Honor, email.

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And mystery. Who is a companion?

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Make

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a set sometimes the person will tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wild. Yeah, I listen as if I've never heard it before. That's another flexter He's not only did I hear it before he was born. I heard it before his parents even got married.

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But that's a fact. Right? That and also shows the humbleness of the scholars and we're looking at it from one angle, but look at it from that other perspective. He is this giant scholar who studied with Latham and sods Giada thodi, who studied with the my Malik. I mean, for students of now there's those three names are enough to shake the room. Right? These are really great human beings are intellectuals. He studied with these people, the earliest and the greatest scholars, and even then when people come and tell him stuff, he already knows it, but he still listens attentively and carefully to what's being said. Yes. So he's

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a wise man once said to his son, learn to listen properly, just as you learn to speak properly, listening properly, maintaining eye contact, allowing this to finish

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to speak, and restraining yourself from interrupting,

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even if you are aware of what he is saying, hung up the phone, lots of other stuff and in column A talk never interrupt, though he will know it and then out

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discussions and debates. If you are having difficulty understanding some of what has been said by the speaker, restrain yourself until he finished it, and thereafter ask for clarification gently, politely and with a proper introduction, do not interrupt the person's talk. This is contrary to the proper manner of listening and stirred up contempt in the heart. However, this is not the case it is a gathering of studying and learning. In such a case, asking questions and initiating the discussion is desirable, if conducted respectfully, and tactfully and only after the teacher finishes.

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Khalifa Mohammed Wattana said, discussion in trenches knowledge more than mere substance, Imam and

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Rahul Matata, a known scholar and historian as well, one of the companions of the fourth of the Pharaohs of Egypt movie, and

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it ended up Russia or China said, the man was saying, it is disrespectful to overwhelm people as they speak, and to interrupt them before they end their speech. That's fascinating. It is disrespectful to overwhelm people as they speak.

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Because no, that means

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it's disrespectful to overwhelm people while they speak. When someone's speaking, and they're saying something, you just keep interrupting, you keep speaking over them, you keep raising your voice to the point where you overwhelm that person. And now this person isn't emotionally there anymore, to be confident, to convey their point properly. This basically is bullying, you're bullying that first, you know that you can do this. So you're, you're flexing a little and you're, you're causing harm to this person.

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debate and discussion is something that the automa generally say should be avoided at all cost.

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The reason for this is it's very tricky. For most people debate and discussion leads to people's hearts being broken. Someone hurting someone else, someone being badly hurt. You have to ask yourself that before I go into discussion with someone, the person that I'm going into discussion with what is their capacity for discussion.

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You guys understand this.

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Imagine yourself as a great athlete at something or a great sportsman or someone who's really good at a particular task you're really good at, you're really good at it, you know that I am good. At this particular thing. Let's say someone's a weightlifter or they're a basketball player, or they're a soccer player. Now, when you're playing with other people, if you want to crush them, you just play full force, or do your thing full force. That other person who's probably an amateur or someone who maybe done this once or twice in their life won't stand a chance. And if anything, they'll be heartbroken and they'll go home. Or what you can do is tone things down, to let them enjoy

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themselves in that moment as well. The same thing goes with debating and discussions. Debating is a skill.

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In order for you to be a successful debater, you need a personality, you need a drive, you need to have a level of confidence. If I may say some ego as well, all of that put together, you must know that not everyone's going to have that. And you might be Mike Tyson here who has the ability to punch holes through walls, and this person in front of you is probably not trained at all in any of this. They're just complete amateurs. And if you swing at them, and if you give them arguments like this, there's no chance you're going to convince them rather than the process. You're going to shatter their skull into pieces. The harm could be tremendous. You can break some. And I've seen

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this more common than not that there are some people who are good at debate and they keep using that tool of debating to shatter people to break people to hurt people. I'm not sure if they do it intentionally, hopefully not intentionally, but the outcome still remains that so many people are hurt. And then for every debater, a new debater comes up.

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Right. And then another debate

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comes up, and then another debater comes up before now you have a world of human beings that are good at debating.

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And a system of debaters is very dangerous. A society that's based on people debating one another is not good. Because in particular, they don't know the proper of debating. They don't know the proper etiquette of debating these people are all vile, violent bullies that are using religion, or politics or whatever it is, and everyone's is going at each other. What happens is when this happens, the value of truth goes out the window, and it's more about who can get the upper hand against the other.

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So convincing is no longer done through debates at this point. At this point, it's just about identity protection. You protect your identity, you protect your identity. And if you want to understand what that looks like, go look at the American presidential election cycle. Just recently, you'll see it all that's what happened. People were just debating each other fighting with each other, debating and fighting, debating and fighting. No one's getting convinced to any truth at all. It's just turned into a big dumpster fire. This is what Imams Rosario refers to he says that in his time, he noticed that this became common among scholars, that everyone was just debating and

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fighting, debating and fighting, debating and fighting as a result of that Gala. Manassa common folks, rather than actually looking for guidance, they were all trying to find a chef who was a good debater and standing behind him and saying, yes, here comes our shift. Like it's some sort of a WWF fighter. And here it comes John Cena.

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Everyone's excited.

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And no one's interested in the heart or the truth anymore. But I followed up with it. Now.

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I've seen this unfortunately, back home, in Muslim countries, not one, but many of them, where everyone's everyone's throat.

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You're this group, and that group, or this group, and that group, and they just keep from the member bashing each other, bashing each other. The common people that are listening, have no idea what's going on. But they're just on the right. They're just with them tagging along.

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So when you decide to engage in a debate, or a passion, passionate discussion, I want you to really ask yourself, is it worth it or not?

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What Why are you doing this? What are you planning to get out of this? If you notice that this discussion that you guys are having right now, the correct way to season wings are the correct way to smoke a brisket. If you're about to go in on it and you're about to get all messy over it, you have to ask yourself, are you being sincere? And is it worth it?

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Half the times you go to a Friday, Saturday evening there, there are two dudes who are really going at each other. I don't know if it's like this on the sister side, or on the guys side, this always happens. There's two guys that are almost at each other's necks over something that's so silly, over like, you know, what's the better it protocol in the 21st century.

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And you're like Kitarou, you too.

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And they're just like, you know, just just going at each other, going at each other, going at each other. And it's almost shameful, that you're adults, you have kids running around here. This is a talk that no one ever teaches self restraint. Do you not know the etiquette of gatherings? Do you not know that this is not how you do it, you present a point and you walk away. That's it. There's no need for a second or third point, this person is not here to follow your mother. They're not giving VR to you is not a move of yours. But you have to you have to tell them everything is present your point and move on.

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Yes.

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answer all your apps. If a colleague was asked about something that you know, do not use them to answer instead, you should only say something when you are asked, this is better. etiquettes and a nobler attitude. It generates interest in what you say while enhancing your respect. The Honorable Tatay Regina, Jabba Ratan Tata, we call that look, Amanda wise for him a long time I said to him,

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if another person was asked a question nanner Hastin to give the answer, as if you're going to gain Udi or win a prize. By doing so, in those days after the war was over. When people would go to collect the spoils of war, they would rush to it because they really wanted it right. Someone else might take it What if someone takes us here? What if someone takes that money so that that sort so they will rush to it? So here is saying that as if you're rushing to go collect some wealth, don't slow down, that this person say their piece? And if they ask someone else a question, the one who's asked let them talk. You're not a part of this conversation? Yes, sometimes the teacher will be

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teaching and they'll ask a student a question. And what are all the other students doing?

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They're clearly not this client.

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There

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All whispering and answering and you say blah blah, somebody could be patient, your turn will come to right now I'm trying to specifically engage a part of the class or an individual I want this person to engage. If they don't engage we'll come to you next. You have to learn to be patient. Don't rush

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while doing so, you will be little but one was asked you will offend the questioner and we will draw the attention of the foolish people to your stupidity and don't matter shall even lotta humbly jurists and had said I was with a llama, Assam, Mohammed

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and Whitehead and the the Imam and Link was also known as

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a hammer Moqtada he ever

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lost data was asked regarding an issue. I acent and answered the inquire, he turned to me and said, Do you know the nosy and inquisitive ones suggesting that I was being nosy person? This made me feel very embarrass. Yep, sometimes you bring it onto yourself. Right? So you sit back and remain silent. Okay, folks will falsities gathering here for prayer that Allah subhanaw taala gives us the fifth to understand this and allows us to live by good a flock allows us to be great listeners and also great communicators. Those who embody the prophetic example. Also Allah Allah said Mohammed salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa