Hosai Mojaddidi – An Agenda to Change Our Condition (Session 16)
AI: Summary ©
AI: Transcript ©
lava select was Salam o Allah actually with NBI even more
serene, say that our Mowlana were heavy but I'm hoping that some of
my wedding he was salam. While it was like he was into Sleeman
Kathira I said Americom Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh everyone
in sha Allah, you are all doing well on this night of the 16th of
Rajab, Inshallah, Sunday, February 28. For those, again, who are
keeping track of these classes, we are well into chapter four of
agenda to change our condition, I handed it up. So I'm really
excited to jump in to this presentation. Let me go ahead and
screenshare just give me a moment here.
There we go. So, we have, as I said, we're in the middle of
chapter four. Just a quick recap. Before I get into what we're doing
here. Last two weeks ago, when we started chapter four, we talked
about, again, practical exercises for us to do to attain Thepla. So
we started off, defining Taqwa what it is, and then express
explaining that the exercises that are in this chapter all have to do
with the eight inroads of darkness to the heart, how the spiritual
heart can be affected, and the different pathways where disease
and bad habits and vices, and sin and heedlessness, all of these
things that we do as humans can affect our spiritual heart. It's
through these inroads, right through our prayer through the
tongue, eyes, ears, stomach, private parts, hands and feet. And
so have the in this chapter, we're going to talk about each section
or each inroad, and then also explain different exercises that
are to be done to protect those inroads, and you'll see this
ongoing theme of 40 days, 40 days. And because of course, we know
that habits are formed, we're creatures of habits, that habits
are formed with with practice. And so this idea of 40 days comes from
a chapter in the Quran, where I was kind of promised to meet Musa
after 40 days, so we take from that wisdom Inshallah, that
there's something special about that number. And we make a
commitment to work on the exercise that is suggested for the full
duration of those 40 days. So let's go ahead and again, recap
quickly, we talked about guarding the prayer, right, and the
importance of that and, and just different, you know, verses in the
Quran. That also mentioned the importance of guarding our prayer,
establishing our prayer and guarding our prayer. And then we
also went on to more verses from the Quran here. And now today
we're going to talk about guarding the tongue. So you can go back
always for those again, who are joining us and watch the previous
recording to get each section. But for today, we're going to talk
about guarding the tongue. So I'm going to be reading from the book
and you will have some information on the slides here. But we started
off right away with this quote from Claudio boubakeur, where he
says, guard your tongue and protect it from lying, and realize
that it expresses your inward state, it reveals to you the depth
of your knowledge and your practice. And of course, this is
very powerful, you know, this reminder that we regardless of how
we present ourselves of how much effort we take, externally or
outwardly, to, you know, pretend to be someone or to act as
someone, it really is what reveals us or reveals our character is our
speech is the truthfulness of our speech. And so, here, the tongue
has one noble quality truthfulness, right? If you are a
person of truth of hop, then this is the highest level of an ability
that you can have
for this particular again, aspect right the tongue. So let's move on
to the next slide here. This was also something for us to ponder
about the tongue the tongue has over 20 destructive qualities,
that are rooted in the following four qualities right. So
Subhanallah you know, thinking about, again, this idea of 20
destructive qualities which are lying, backbiting, argumentation
and engaging What does not concern you? We as Muslims, we've heard of
this right but we really do have to contemplate how why these are
such destructive things, you know, lying. May some people you know,
will will justify lying because they think, you know, they're
gonna get some bad
benefit out of being out of lying. But they don't realize that lying
is like a it's a cancer, it spreads. It's not something that
is easily containable. It's like a fire, it will, you know, just
spread into more lies, it's hard to even keep up with lies. And
I've seen this play out, you know, with individuals who lied to their
spouses or children who lied to their parents or parents who lied
to their children, or co workers, you know, when you start
habituating to being someone who is is deceitful, then it's very
difficult to maintain that because it's hard to keep up with, what
did I tell who? How did I say it? What didn't I say, you know, and
it's too difficult. So you're also impacting other people, right,
you're lying may benefit you. But if you're harming other people,
that has a ripple effect, and of course, you will be held
accountable. So moving beyond just the initial benefit or objective
that you justify it, and looking at it from a more holistic lens
will help you to understand why it's so destructive, right?
Something that destroys things, it just destroys relationships. You
know, trust is earned and trust is built. And as soon as you start to
be deceitful, it's very hard to win trust, again, talk to anybody
who's ever been cheated on, you know, it's very difficult, they
will always, in the back of their mind, have this doubt, because the
idea that you could even create a lie or fabricate is hard for some
people when they've trusted you, like, how could you even do that?
Because it's a character flaw. So again, and we're talking about,
like, really big lies, but even small lies, without wisdom or
without reason, there's certain situations, of course, we know
that it's permissible, when you're bringing two people who are in a
conflict together, and you want to bring the hearts together, it's
permissible to maybe embellish a little bit there, you know, and to
say something to bring those hearts together. So there are
certain circumstances where we can do that. But to make this a habit,
and not be mindful of how dangerous it is, is really, is
really irresponsible. And I especially speak to parents, who
are frequently being deceptive in front of their children, but not
really thinking about it. You know, if your child has legitimate
questions about something, and you maybe are impatient, you've got
work, you have other things to do, and you decide to just tell them
some story, you know, that's not true. You know, let's say you
planned a vacation, and then you had to cancel it. Well, but then
when they asked you, you create this elaborate tall tale, you
know, they say, like these, sometimes people can get really
like, why what's the Knesset necessity of having to fabricate a
really, you know, wrong, it's just not modeling good behavior. But
there's no necessity to do that. Sometimes the child needs to
experience the reality of that life isn't always going to go
their way. And something has to be canceled, like COVID COVID, came
upon us. So if you had a vacation planned to go to Disneyland, and
then COVID happened, and you think, Oh, I don't want to bother
until my the child the real reason, because oh, it might scare
them. And, you know, you kind of think of all these reasons not to
tell them the truth, but then you go and tell them a lie in place of
that truth. You may think that that was a good way to protect
their heart,
you know, but at the same time, you're not thinking of what you're
doing, you're setting them up with, you know, with this, or, you
know, modeling this behavior, that is not acceptable in our faith to
just, you know, habituate to, to lying without reason. And so, I
really emphasize being truthful and honest, and if they have to be
disappointed, because yes, they can't go somewhere, or a friend
can't come over, or they can't get a gift. For example, you know,
sometimes kids want toys, and parents, like I said, we'll go to
these really extreme lengths, without, you know, really thinking
what am I doing? Why not just tell them the truth? i This gift is
not, I don't we can't afford it right now. Or I don't want to, you
know, give you this gift because you have so many other toys you
haven't played with just be honest. Right? So anyhow, that's
just, you know, one example. But, you know, really looking at the
ripple effects or the, the, you know, outside of just what you
think is happening. There are other effects of the lies and so
that's what you want to remember. And make sure that it's not
something that you habituate yourself to backbiting. Same
thing, you may feel justified because you're angry, someone hurt
you, someone upset you. Or maybe not, maybe you just heard a story
or a rumor, but you thinking what's the big deal on picking up
the phone and telling this one person who are they going to tell?
You know, why is it such a big deal? I you know, I they shouldn't
have done it in the first place. If they did it, it's my right to
talk about it. Sometimes people will come up with a lot of these,
you know, again, just
justifications for but at the end of the day, you being you know,
the type of person that that relishes in talking about other
people, especially if it's a negative story. Certainly nobody
back bites about someone in a good when they're in a good light,
right? It's always negative. But if you enjoy that, and you're
quick, you're the one that wants to always keep that rumor and
gossip mill going, you really have to take a step and say, stop what
Allah What am I doing this is in the Quran very clearly prohibited.
It's prohibited throughout, you know, the many Hadith that also
support that, but to think that it's okay for you. Because while I
feel wronged and I feel angry, and you know, whatever you say to
yourself, this is also something you have to stop and realize,
there are consequences to these things, rumors are spread and
lives can be actually destroyed. You telling someone that you think
is in confidence, something that you heard, or that you know, or
that you're just, you know, venting to them about something,
you don't know if that person can contain it, right? You don't know
if they're really going to be able to keep your trust, what if they
have the same feeling of wanting to share it that you had you had
you wanted to share it? And you did? What if you told them don't
tell anybody but and then they feel this burning sensation or
within their heart to share it too. Now you're responsible, you
had knowledge of something or you said shared something that was not
pleasant, but it's spreading like wildfire again, well, you're going
to be responsible for all of the people impacted by that. And
again, lives can be destroyed. Families can be broken up, these
can have very, very serious consequences. So we have to be
very careful about ever justifying that. argumentation is another
thing, you know, this is a time especially on social media, you
see this quite often. And if you're not on social media
Alhamdulillah this doesn't apply to you. But if you are on social
media, and you think that, you know getting into online debates
and scandals and just always inserting your opinion in every
situation, and fighting and using fighting words in defense of the
deen or what have you. And you know, again, people will justify
their behavior all the time, you have to step back and realize this
this is these are the there plenty of proofs in our in our deen, that
talk about how reprehensible it is to be one who's always giving into
argumentation. It's not part of our tradition to do that. It's a
very poor, low quality to have to be just that person who's looking
to incite people all the time and just stir trouble up. We are
people of peace so them right we're supposed to actually sell
ama vehicle we're supposed to spread peace we're not supposed to
spread disharmony and strife and fighting and what have you. So
really just holding yourself and realizing if you're arguing for
the sake of your enough's, you're going to enjoy it, you know, it's
going to feel good, because you feel you know, puffed up and it's,
it's satisfying your ego. If you're, you know, really defending
something like the dean, or, you know, maybe someone says
something, you know, that's, that's about another person and
you want to defend,
excuse me,
that has never happened before. Forgive me for that. But if you
you know, if that's the situation where you want to, you know,
defend someone, then you do it with, you know, Grace, you do it
the proper way. You do not argue you do not insult you don't
attack, you don't give in to the feeling of excitement because
you're arguing, you're doing it because you want to establish
truth, right? Maybe there's something that needs to be clearly
clarified. And so if you have that Nia of okay, I'm in this
discussion, debate, argument, argument, whatever it is, but my
intention is to clarify a position to speak the truth or to quiet,
you know, to bring harmony to this discussion, that those are noble
things to do. But if it's just about your ego and wanting some
sort of attention from it, certainly this would not be
acceptable. And then the last is also very important, you know,
engaging in what does not concern you mean hosting a seminar
monolithical Humala? Yeah, and the right, the part of the beauty of
one's Islam is to leave that which doesn't concern them. This is
again, minding your own business, and in a nutshell, so when we talk
about guarding our tongue, these four qualities are so essential.
The last one, especially because we again live in a time where
people assume that just because people's lives are more public
than ever before, that it's an invitation to look to pure into
people's lives to become obsessed with what so and so is doing, but
it's actually really nice
Just in low quality, I've said this so many times before, I don't
know if I said it here. But you know, when we were younger, there
was a category or a group of or behavior, I should say, that was
considered really low. And you know, that was like to be a
peeping Tom or a voyeur, right? Someone who's always looking into
people's lives, and we're talking like physically like, right,
someone who is peeping a peeping Tom is actually looking into
people's windows, right, they're looking into people's private
spaces, cars, and just kind of like, you know, just being
obsessed lurking, right? This was very good stuff. Like, that would
be a horrible thing for someone to call you that. And they were
really creepy people who are usually, you know, offenders, and
they had other you know, criminal backgrounds, these were not good
people who did these things. But if you really think about our
society, and what we've become, we have created a society where this
is now normal behavior, it is normal to spend hours and people
do this literally hours going through a person's entire, you
know, Facebook history and Instagram, you know, reels and,
and images and, and stories or whatever. And just keep looking
and looking and looking, you know, and you see this sometimes, if
you're ever on these platforms, if you're on them, you'll see someone
liking a picture of yours from like, six years ago, and then you
got to think like, wait a second, that's not something I put up
today or yesterday, what were they doing? How did they get there? You
know, they must have gone down that rabbit hole. Right. But why?
That's the question I have, you know, if someone is posting
something, and you just happen to see it, that's one thing, because
you know, we have the news feed, but if you're lurking, if you're
looking for information, and kind of just, it's just not something
good to do. And, you know, I always say, again, this is just my
opinion. But if you're on social media, and you're trying to spread
good, and you're creating content, you know, or your your this is
your business, your livelihood, in sha Allah, your intention is to
put good out there. But if that's not what you're doing, and you end
up really spending a lot of time consuming, you know, things and
you're just lurking, you got to check yourself like, that's not
good. I shouldn't be worried about what someone's doing, what
restaurant they're eating at, how what coffee did they order? What
new purse did they get? And people you know, they share this
information. And that's a whole other conversation. We just live
in a world where these things are now highly encouraged. But all of
us have the responsibility to stop and ask yourself, Why am I so
interested? Why do I care in the first place? About what so and so
is doing? Or you know, where did they vacationing? And, you know,
where did what restaurant are they staying at? And people will go to
great lengths to research this information? Because they're
curious, and that curiosity is what we're talking about here. So
engaging, of course, and what does not concern you is, first of all,
having that curiosity, but then meddling and being mettlesome, and
inserting yourself into conversations and situations that
you're not it's none of your business, you shouldn't be, you
know, inserting yourself. So if you see two people squabbling in
front of you, maybe it's a husband and wife or a mother and a child
or what have you. If there's nothing, no harm being done, you
don't need to go and offer unsolicited advice. You don't need
to go in and true their space. And sometimes these things can take
form or you know, can happen in public spaces. But again, you just
have to know your boundaries and know that when we practice
mindfulness of these things, we will know that that's just
something we shouldn't be doing. But when we don't, and we think
that we can say whatever we want to whoever we want, then that you
know is how these these behaviors take form is because there's no
regulation, there's no resistance, there's no control. So very
important chapter on again, these four qualities. So I'm going to
now just read a little bit from the book here, says if you're able
to overcome them, it's speaking about these four qualities than
all the others the other 20 are removed with ease. In order for us
to remove these qualities that lead people to destruction. We
must exert great effort and struggle. This is Majah right?
Mujahidin knifes is the struggle against one soul to be better
right to do that which pleases Allah subhana wa Tada you have to
fight your own knifes it's literally like a war a battle with
your own neffs because your knifes inclines to these things and us is
weak than us at is indulgent. So it likes to lie and likes to back
but because it's lazy, it's easier sometimes to not, you know, tell
the truth. It's easier sometimes to
Like I said, given to those emotions and want to back by, so
when you're doing magenta, that you're actually fighting against
your own self. And then now they're giving you the remedy,
right, the exercise. So the following is an exercise designed
to help eliminate these qualities that have become daily habits for
far too many among us. And in fact, if we persist in them are
counted as enormities with a lot of alignment challenges. That's
really serious. If we habituate to these things. They're small,
right? But small sins add up and now there'll be they become cabana
at right, cabana or big sense. So because you've done this for
years, you can't you know, excuse yourself and go it's just a little
lie. What's the big deal? No, you've accumulated years of doing
this. And now in the sight of Allah, it's considered a big sin.
So this is really dangerous. Imam Malik stated, truly a man utters
utters words to which he attaches no importance. And by them, he
falls into the Hellfire Jahannam
all the mundane stuff when we should all seek refuge in Allah
from that, because that is self delusion, right? It's that you're
so far removed from reality that you think you're careless words
are, there's no impact to them. But this is clearly telling us
words are very powerful. And we have to hold ourselves into
account and make sure that when we speak, we're speaking truth, or as
the prophesy some said, say, you know, that which is pleasant or
remain silent, speak truthfully speak beautifully speak well, or
don't say anything, but don't excuse you know, these foul
behaviors. Because this hadith could apply me God forgive us that
we carelessly say something about someone we carelessly deceive
someone we carelessly argue and maybe break someone's heart, we
carelessly but our noses into someone else's business, thinking
it's not a big deal, but then over the law, it's that very thing that
actually is the cause of our ruin. So the exercise that they suggest
is as follows as follows. Commit every day for 40 days to leave the
affirmation after mentioned four habits each morning making a vow
to Allah subhanho data. So now what I love about this is that
you're making a commitment to refrain from these four things by
using your tongue to make a vow. So it's restrain restraining
yourself but now proactively using the tongue in the best way, which
is to make this vow where you say, I vow to not lie, okay? To not
backbite argue or speak in man matters of no concern to me for
this entire day. Okay, so this is what we call the condition phase
Mushara. Okay, so this is you know, you're making a sharp or
like a vow with Allah's product that I'm trying to withhold myself
and I will do this from the morning until the day being really
mindful, being conscious of yourself self aware throughout the
day, right. So through the day, you are vigilant and observing and
noting the times when you did not fulfill the condition. This is
guarding the condition which is maraca Murata, excuse me. So now
you're taking yourself into account during the day so every
time you are maybe, you know, not able to fulfill this, you maybe
you lose your temper, or you say something you regret, whatever it
is, you're aware of it right, and you're taking notes. And then at
the end of the day, so you know, through the day, you're doing that
now at the end of the day, now you do a full accounting of your
deeds, and this is more HESA right. So you know, you'll look
back and see how many times did I slip today? Did I slip at all? If
yes, where did I start? Do I lie backwards? Do they argue to speak
about things that weren't of importance to me? So it's really
like record keeping and Itali and then if inshallah you succeeded,
then you say what? Because you're remembering right? Oh Allah, I can
honestly say, reminding you again, be truthful, right? Don't delude
yourself. Don't try to you know, kind of,
you know, as though stuff Allah we can, we can somehow trick you
know, Allah, Allah, Allah that's, that's just delusional. He knows
everything. So be honest and be forthright. If you remember
slipping up. You got to hold yourself to account right. So if
you if you did
Anything you say I can honestly say I did not commit any of these
offenses today. And if on the other hand, you did not fulfill
your vow, because remember, a vow is like a promise, right? We have
to take it very seriously, then you go back to day one. So this is
the constant theme that you'll see with these exercises. You are
supposed to press a persevere and make your valid persevere. But if
you don't, if you can't, if you fail, all you have to do is go
back to step one or day one. I mean, that's difficult. Imagine if
you're on day 39. You know, what are you going to do Subhan Allah,
it could happen to people now. But if they take this seriously, then
they'll realize like, Nope, I cannot get into this, I'm too
close to the, to the, you know, to the finish line, I can't go back
now. So that a self awareness of where how far you've come, will
inshallah encourage you to keep going, but you have to take the 40
day, seriously.
And then it says you're asked for forgiveness and strength and
fulfilling it for the next day and given charity fast or impose some
other type of disciplinary measure to benefit your soul. That's also
really important. Once you reset, you know, and go back to point
one, you should also have something else, like some punitive
measure, that you can hold yourself further accountable to I
mentioned this in another talk recently, about you know, if you
have a problem with lying, or if we're just being a little too
loose with your tongue, that you can create a jar, you know, people
have done this, like the swear jar, you know, the jar that you
know, lying jar, whatever jar you want to call it, but it's a jar,
you can make use any jar, and what it will be used for is every time
you slip up, you have to put in $1, let's say or a coin, you know,
a quarter or something. And that way, you're holding yourself
accountable, you're seeing the visual representation of, of how
many times you've slipped, and sometimes that can be a really
good reminder, like, if you're on day five, and already you've got,
you know, $50 in the jar, clearly there's a problem, right. And so
it's a good way to really hold yourself in account. And you know,
because we are weak, and nobody wants to part with that much money
that fast, it's also another incentive to do that. Because at
the end of your 40 days, you can then Inshallah, give that money to
set up a or you know, gift it to someone but do something like
that, where you can visually also have have something to hold you
accountable.
Subhanallah now, we're still on it, we're still on the tongue. So
on page, by the way, if you if you have the book, I'm on page 48. At
the top,
we should remind ourselves that our eternal life and Felicity in
it is largely dependent upon whether our tongues are in
submission to the will of Allah.
Hence, we must take this seriously, do this practice with
your brothers and sisters that you spend time with and encourage each
other to be vigilant. So obviously, now most of us are not
really meeting with friends that often. So it would probably be
better to do this in your homes, right? With your family. And so I
think parents taking the lead, and creating these, this, this rule
of, Hey, everybody, we have a jar, anytime someone loses their
temper, anytime someone says something they shouldn't, or lies
or back bites, you got to hold yourself accountable, this is what
we're going to do and doesn't have to be money necessarily. Maybe it
could be a list of chores that you have to do and you have to pull,
you know, a chore out of out of the jar. So it's the opposite. You
know, it's not that you're putting into the jar, but you're taking
out from the jar, a chore and that will also help hold you
accountable. So you can create your own systems for your
families. But I think it's really important to have support anytime
you do something where you want to change your behavior or take on a
new practice. It's wise to have someone to do that with because we
can hold each other accountable and it just feels good to feel
like you're not doing something on your own right and of course we
know this is
certainly part of of our faith in that we do everything together.
You know, we're encouraged to anywhere encouraged to pray and
jump out together we're encouraged to fast together to make heads
together because there is this power in numbers right? So
inshallah try to figure out a system that works for you and your
household.
They go on to say that this practice requires significant
discipline and effort, almost paddle encouraged us to persevere
with this with this verse. This is Chapter 29, verse 69, those who
struggle in our way we guide them in our paths, and Allah is with
the people of excellence.
So
Oh, this is you know, a reminder for us, that we the struggle is
part of the path, right, we all are supposed to be struggling,
it's not supposed to be just laid back and chill and you know,
you're just coasting, there has to be effort and effort there is, you
know, struggle in them, this practice will change our lives and
our outlooks and will contribute to the unity of our of our
community, as most of our trouble if not all of it is reaped from
the harvest of our tongues. Subhanallah that's also a very
powerful reminder, if you really think about
you know, the problems that most people have a lot of it does come
down to communication issues, problems, two words that have
been, you know, that are hurtful, you know, weaponizing our language
towards someone. So the tongue is very powerful, in that it can
destroy people's hearts, you know, and we cannot diminish the power
of it. So, the fact that human problems a lot of them can emanate
from, from just this, you know, one, Oregon Subhanallah is quite
amazing, right? wars have been started conflicts, you know,
really,
you know, scandals, so many things throughout history, that we can
turn to a lot a lot of it has to do with, with, you know, the
tongue and what it can reap. So, a very powerful reminder for us to
not look at its size, and think
that it's, it's not as powerful as it is when in fact, so much of the
pain that we experience in this life is it comes from from a
tongue that's not that is not restrained, right.
So once 40 consecutive days have been completed, we have habituated
ourselves to uprightness. And Allah subhanaw The promises to
things for our efforts, he will rectify our affairs in this world
and He will forgive our transgressions in the next.
So this is also panel data says yeah, you Halina am an otaku Lucha
Kulu Poland's leader right you're still in a combat mela boom we are
for lack of the Nuba calm this is in chapter 33 Verse 70, and 71 Oh
you who believe have taqwa and speak with a brightness he will
rectify your actions and he will forgive your wrongs. So those are
two are the benefits of being a bright when we correct our speech
when we commit to this 40 days, or less proud that is promising us
these two benefits is that inshallah the problems that we
have in this world because we've committed to really the pleasure
of Allah subhanho data. And anytime we do that, anytime we
struggle against ourselves for his sake, he will remove our burdens
for us, right? And he will forgive our sins. So Subhanallah the
benefits again, are immeasurable. And here once we have fulfilled
the exercise successfully, what remains is vigilant of observance
right maraca. So continuing after we've done the all of the other
steps, right? Of the merger of Mujahidin, we succeed in sha
Allah, now it's maintaining, right, it's being vigilant, it's
not, you know, regressing back to bad habits, it's staying on
course. And this is, you know, to prevent a relapse, we must be firm
with others and make clear to them that we do not want to listen to
prohibited speech, this may result in the loss of a friend who is not
willing to change. And that's important if you have come to a
place where you really want to take your practice seriously. But
you have people around you who don't respect your path, don't
cower to that don't be a people pleaser. and think, oh, you know,
I don't want to make a big issue out of things. No, create healthy
boundaries, you know, you can easily tell your friends and
family, for example, that you don't want to, you know, gossip
anymore. And that you really don't want to participate in that and
that you'd appreciate it if they just didn't speak about people in
your company. You know, if you're making those changes, and you
really are doing it from that place. This is sometimes even
easier to be honest, when you have a sort of a general rule when it
comes to your changes that you're hoping to implement. And you kind
of generally send those messages out like if you're on a whatsapp
thread with your family, your siblings and you kind of just say,
Hey guys, just wanted to give you guys a heads up, you know, I'm
making some changes. I'm trying to, you know, put some new good
habits in practice. So, these are some of the things that I'm going
to stay away from. I really need your support, something like that
isn't putting the focus on you know, a
other people and what they're doing right? Where you are, you're
saying, Don't do this around me. It's rather saying, I don't want
to do this. So please respect my boundaries in a very polite way,
you're not finger pointing, you know, pointing the finger at
anybody, you're not shaming them. And hopefully they'll respect your
courage and your commitment and your conviction and honor your
wishes inshallah. So, but if they don't, and they say, Nope, we
can't do that, you know, that's too.
You're too religious. For me, you're too strict, and you're so
uptight, and get over yourself, and they start attacking you in
that way. That's, that's clearly disrespectful. But that's also not
energy you need and that those type of people, if they don't want
to support you on your path, and they insist on, you know, just
being themselves around you, you can see the double standard is
very clear, right. And so you have to make a choice whether or not
you want that energy in your life.
But of course, be gentle, don't don't cut people off. That's not
part of our tradition, we don't cut people off. It's just a matter
of creating healthy boundaries, where people, you know, when not
to spend time with certain people, some environments are more
relaxed, and people feel a little bit more at liberty to do things.
Other situations aren't. So just be a little bit more selective and
and choose wisely the company that you keep.
Finally, we should keep in mind that writing falls into these
categories, right, and that the internet is infested with lies,
slander, argumentation, and engagement in matters of no
concern. Therefore, we need to include writing in addition to
speech in the vowel. So what a great way to end this section on
guarding the tongue, because, again, we're being held
accountable for what is now a more common practice than maybe in
previous times, right. And nowadays, we're not really
socializing as much face to face, we're not having dialogue as much,
we are actually using this technologies. And in a lot of our
communication is on texts, right? Whether it's emails or text
messages, WhatsApp messages, DMS, whatever, we're we tend to be
engaging a lot in writing. So it's very powerful to hold ourselves
accountable, not to make it literal and say, you know, that
it's only speech that's verbalized, that this applies to,
but it's just what's emanating from you this, it's their habits
that you want to get rid of these negative habits, and they can come
in the form of verbal speech or written speech, but at the end of
the day, they're your thoughts manifested. And that's what we're
talking about. Why are those thoughts even there in the first
place, hold yourself accountable. So that's the section on guarding
the tongue. Now we're going to in the time we have left Inshallah,
I'll get to this next section as well. Which is,
give me what you see.
Okay, so yeah, hamdulillah now we're going to talk about guarding
the eyes, this is page 49. Okay, so Allah Subhan, Allah says in the
Quran,
tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty
and tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their
modesty. And this is chapter 24, verse 30, and 31. Now here, it's
interesting, there's some commentary that I'd like to read
about this verse says this, the scholars differ about the meaning
and implication of this verse. But generally what is prohibited is to
look at anything that is deemed nakedness and sacred law.
You know, the oura the parts of our body that should be covered?
If anything falls into that category, it would this would
apply, though not all, the scholars agree on what constitutes
nakedness. For the majority of scholars, this includes for a man
the entire body of a woman, with the exception of her face and
hands. So for a man to look at any part of a woman, especially
obviously, someone who's not related to him, that is, you know,
that is exposed, with the exception of the hands and the
face, it would be considered looking at her nakedness, right?
So that's a pretty clear, you know, boundary there, the face and
hands and then for a woman, or excuse me in for another man, so
for a man to look at another man, what is between the navel and the
knees. So that is the Oprah of a woman is everything except for her
hands and face. And then the odor of a man is everything between the
navel and knees. So one would not look at those things right.
Now, it says that however the scholars consider anything from
which we
derive sexual pleasure prohibited to look at unless it is of a
lawful spouse. This is really important because as we know, we
live in a time where we live in a society, which is hyper
sexualized. And there's a lot of exploitation of these matters in
every part of our society. And therefore, what that has done is
its created, you know, things that we would consider really maybe not
a sexual part of one's body, but it has become unfortunately
fetishized or sexualized, you know, there are entire, you know,
there's, there's groups and people who are obsessed, for example,
with a woman's ankles, right, something so simple, that you
would think, Oh, it's just part of her foot, or feet, theatres is
another, very, you know, subhanAllah, this is, you know,
again, part of our world now, where these things have been
turned into objects of obsession for a lot of people. So this idea
that if you have an inclination, towards a particular body part,
like an arm or a leg, you don't hand, the neck, anything that
arouses these feelings in you, that you have to for yourself, you
might, it's different for everybody, you have to be that
self aware, where you lower your gaze, right, this verse would
apply in that situation as well.
For this reason, the body of a man is prohibited for a woman to look
at, if it arouses her carnal instincts. So for example, we know
like the navel and the knee, right, we just mentioned is what
is incumbent upon a man to cover always. But sometimes, you know,
you might see men without a shirt on, you know, they're walking
outside, there may be, you know, a lifeguard at the beach, whatever.
But if that's something that is, you know, it arouses certain
feelings in you, you have to know that just because it's not
technically a rock for you, it is right for you that that would
apply because you have a particular you know, that's a
weakness. And so, similarly, though, for a man looking at the
face and hands of a woman is also prohibited, if that arouses his
carnal instinct. So again, same thing that what I just said, if
there's a particular, you know, desire that is aroused when
looking at something that is not technically considered elder, like
the hands or the feet or the face.
But for a person that that does, those feelings do come out, it
would be considered our right, that's what this is, you know,
clarifying here. And then they go on to say that the first glance is
not written against a person. However, if one derives pleasure
and does not avert one's glance, or if one follows it with a second
glance, then it is considered a minor sin. So you know, looking,
it's, again, we're living in an era which is so we're, we're
bombarded with imagery, everywhere we go, it's sometimes hard to look
away, because you know, you could be walking innocently, you know,
down the street, and then all of a sudden, there's a magazine cover
that you didn't, you know, anticipate seeing laying on the
ground, or a billboard or something else, or maybe, you
know, an advertisement on a, you know, a storefront window,
something that you're not prepared to see, but Subhanallah, it kind
of just comes in your face, we have to self regulate. And this is
where becoming aware of all those habits. Allah is watching me at
all times. He knows what I'm doing. And having Taqwa of him and
that's the response of Taqwa is that you look away, you completely
turn your eyes and you if you're really struggling, and you were
tempted to look again, to say, I still had a lot to ask Allah for
strength, and to remember, it's better for you to have, you know
that that type of restraint than to look into Let them remember
these are inroads to the heart every time we don't guard these
inroads, whether it's the eyes or the ears, or the tongue, or
letting it's a passageway for thoughts and ideas that are very
destructive to come into our hearts. And later, Plagueis,
right, which is what happens to many people, when they look at
images or allow themselves to indulge by looking at something
that they shouldn't, then then they're plagued with it for days,
for sometimes months, they can't get this image out of their mind.
So this is why we're taught immediately look away and don't go
back for more you know,
it banal Cotton said there is a consensus that the eye is not
connected to any enormity. But it is the quickest inroad to the to
the destruction of the heart, so powerful, right Subhan Allah, so
we don't have you know, sins that are
that are associated or big sins, you know, major sin
Is that are related to the eye?
Right? But but this is important. The fastest way to destroy the
heart is through the eye. Right? So Pamela, we have to really think
about that, especially in this day and age. When we have a pandemic,
it's literally a pandemic, not not talking about Coronavirus, or the
quarantine, I'm talking about the pandemic of *, which has
unfortunately infected every corner of the world. This is
terrible, you know, evil that is everywhere. Now. It's so
ubiquitous, you can find it throughout the Muslim lands, even
the sacred cities, it's stuck for Allah, may Allah protect our, our
children, and all of us from falling into the black hole. The
the poisonous Well, this this toxic space of being, you know, of
watching this, this horrible stuff, and you see it all over the
research is, is unbelievable how young, you know, some of the
people are exposed to this, because it's so widespread, and
you can find it everywhere, a lot of children are being exposed to
these images. And they leave their mark, I have heard horrific
stories about children being exposed to images that weren't
they were never meant to seen and should never have been ever
created all the banana shaped Orangey. But they watch those
things stumbled upon it accidentally, you know, doing it
innocent search, and their parents have no idea and without, you
know, those safeguards in our browsers, and our internet,
there's a lot of things out there that our kids can get exposed to.
But so many horrific stories of children being exposed to things
that really impact their heart, they have trauma from it. And you
know, marriages again, being broken up. And this is not just
you know, men that are afflicted with this, there are certainly
many women who also have this tribulation, I have been messaged
by sisters who are also afflicted with this problem asking for help,
what can they do? So this is the problem or you know, that are the
awareness that we need to have the I can destroy the spiritual heart
faster than anything else. Because images are so powerful. And to
recall those images, you know, the eye is itself such a powerful, you
know, blessing that we've been given. But the fact that in our
mind's eye, we can recreate things that we see with our visual eye is
also something that we have to think about. So when we take in
images on a computer screen, or television or film, or what have
you, that are inappropriate, that are wrong, that are clearly a
violation of everything we're talking about here, when we take
those images in, even if it's for a split second, even if it's for
longer than that, the it's already done damage because it's hard to
erase the image. That's the thing. It's like a permanent, permanent
stain on the heart, like you've just tattooed your heart with with
something really dark and evil. And many people who have, you
know, become addicted and they try to overcome their addiction suffer
suffer greatly, people who can't get images out of their mind, as
soon as they start to pray, or do something for the sake of Allah,
these images will pop up in their mind, these are real experiences,
you know, so we have to be very, very careful with guarding our
eyes when it comes to sensory images and images that we see, you
know, on the screen
or smell Bismillah. So, the exercise for the eyes is to make a
commitment to Allah every morning, same, same as we've been hearing,
right, this idea of vowing, making a commitment to our law for 40
continuous days to not look at anything that's prohibited to be
very vigilant and do the same exact steps as before, be vigilant
watch over ourselves, right? And keep in mind that avoiding the
glands is really an essential practice to protecting the eyes if
we want to protect the heart which is connected to the eyes, right,
this quick inroad to the heart, we have to be in a practice of
looking away, like looking away just looking down looking aside
looking up wherever you need to look, to not look at something
that's prohibited do it get in the practice of it, and inshallah you
know, continue that for those 40 days.
In our culture, we have what could be termed as an in your face
bombardment of images and ads, as well as an immodest world of
fashion and apparel. It is thus extremely important with this
exercise, that we not become neurotic about our situations.
Lowering the gaze is a profound spiritual practice.
In any time in place, and can be done with dignity, and a
naturalness that does not lead to obsessive behaviors that may be
detrimental, and lead to Social Pathology. Such an important
reminder, we have to keep in mind that, because these things are so
rampant and ubiquitous everywhere in society, our attempt at
restraining ourselves and putting these things into practice should
be done with a natural pneus there shouldn't be this awkwardness
where we impose ourself onto other people and, you know, become so
obsessive and kind of again neurotic about it, that we lose
our, our social, you know, skills, and we don't, we're not really
aware of how we are affecting other people, you know, if you
work in a work environment, for example, with non Muslims, and
maybe, you know, one day you come to work, and there's a party, and
it's like, everybody's dressed, you know, and maybe party
clothing, and they don't quite look professional. And you find
yourself surrounded by people who are dressed in clothing that it's
clearly not not correct, or to look at it, this isn't without
being a situation where you should make everybody feel awkward and
strange, and then cause a scene and you know, walk around, you
know, covering your eyes like this and just creating, like all that
attention on yourself because of your discomfort and you're trying
so hard to avert your eyes. You know, this is just a matter of, of
looking away and trying to be as professional about it and as
sensible about it as you can. I remember. I mean, this is just
something for those who work glasses, it might work. It worked
for me when I was in.
during Hajj and Umrah I used to have a habit of taking my glasses
off whenever I would walk from the hotel to the masjid. Because
sometimes, you know, when you're if you've never been to the sacred
cities before, as a foreigner, as a Westerner, some things may, for
the first time anyway, be a little, you know, just maybe
cultural shock, or just things you're not used to, you'll see
people doing things because this is part of their own cultures. And
remember, it's a there's a you'll see people from all over the world
coming to these beautiful cities, but they bring their own natural
ways. And so if you find yourself judging, you know, people like oh,
why are they doing that? Oh, that's so gross or why, you know,
why did they do this thing, sometimes people will, you know,
maybe touch their nose, or your or clean or spit right in front of
you or do something that's just not common to our cultures here or
your other cultures. Instead of allowing your heart to judge them
and be critical, you know, what I what I found myself was like, I
don't want to do that I don't want to see my fellow Muslim brothers
and sisters in a negative light, when I have no idea who they are,
what they've been through, why they do what they do, and I'm just
gonna let my own you know, western ideals or, or ideas, you know,
make me feel as though I'm somehow stuck but a lot better than them.
I didn't want to do that, because I found myself you know, looking
at people with sometimes that like curiosity or disdain, even so I
said, I'm going to free myself of the, the, the burden. So I take my
glasses off, and I would just walk you know, and I have at that
point, I didn't have very good vision and homed in on my visions
got a little bit better. But at that point, it was very hard to
see. Clearly anyway, I just didn't I see a lot of blurry images and
see a lot of blurry, you know, people but I would not be able to
see specific things, which was a great blessing and underlying
courage. If you ever have to go to like a public market or you know,
even the beach. I mean, sometimes you have to go with your families
and places where you don't you try not to look but if that's
something that you can do proactively to say all I really
want to lower my gaze, I don't want to be tempted, I don't want
to look at people do it. Inshallah, take these measures
also witness witness to your efforts, right. But that's just
something that you can do Inshallah, and then try this for
40 days. And again, if you fail, stop, restart and try again. So
that was the end of this section chapter four of
guarding the tongue in the eyes. For next time Inshallah, in two
weeks we will do the exercise for guarding the ears and the stomach
and shallow see if I can, I don't know if I'll be able to finish it
next time because there's quite a few guarding the private parts and
the hands. So we'll try to do maybe two more sections next time.
Inshallah, but let me go ahead and check if there are any questions
Smith
I'm gonna just check the Facebook page.
And brothers man to if you can let me know if you're there. I know
sometimes
you're busy, but if you are there, let me know, please if there's any
questions on YouTube
Okay,
so I don't see
any questions. Oh, sorry, I'm looking at the wrong thing. Right
Give me one second here.
Yeah, I don't see any questions on the YouTube page. But let me go
ahead. I mean, the Facebook page, I'm gonna look at YouTube. If
there are no questions and inshallah we can end in Doha and I
will see you guys in a couple of weeks
Okay, hamdulillah See, I don't see any questions but mashallah, we
have some international viewers, people mentioning that they're
from Morocco. So I'm on a call my shot from Morocco from a Muslim
people from Pakistan said I want a column. Thank you for tuning in.
I'm very honored that you're spending your evening or morning
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them all. I thank you so much for spending your Sunday evening with
me personally and with with us here. We'll go ahead and end in
the
seminar. He will ask you to indulge in Santa Fe Casa de La
Nina Emily why middle Saudi Haiti with a lesser than happy with the
rest of the summer?
sabbatical home will become the crescendo hola hola Elantra stop
recorder to Lake Aloha Mozilla was thermobaric honestly they never
know that or what have you been? Let's have a la and he was sent
him while and it was like we were sending the Sleeman Kathira to
Zakon local cleaning. Inshallah I wish you all a wonderful rest of
your evening or day or morning and we will see you in two weeks.
Inshallah. Santa Monica