Yusuf (AS) – 2
Channel: Hesham Al-Awadi
Series: Hesham Al-Awadi - Yusuf AS
File Size: 61.33MB
Exploring the Chapter of Joseph in the Holy Quran
Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim salatu salam ala COVID mursaleen signum Hamad Laila Ali or Sufi Hassan in LA oma de la Mola in Milan a llama Lambton cantera mahaki. Brothers and sisters, I now introduce to you the palace, which is a shift to a new location to use IV, which also represents a new experience.
The aim of lecture two, therefore would be to focus on sexual desires and illicit relations and temptations and how one is expected to respond to. Although the location of the scene is primarily focused on the palace, it could also symbolize all contexts and situations of temptations that one is exposed to, including the streets, markets, workplaces, university campuses, and modern visual forms of Communications and Technology.
So that's the paradigm in which we are going to introduce this theme.
And there came a caravan they sent their water drawer and he led down his pocket he said what a good news here is a boy so they hid him as a merchandise and Allah knows what they do. And they sold him for a low price for a few Durham's and they were of those who regarded him insignificant.
One of the things that is always said about Youssef is that he was enslaved. And that was another test in which he was introduced to but yet people in the west or even modern people who live in the modern times, young people do not have a true perception of slavery, enslavement. It's something of the past something that is historical. What I need to do now is to make you actually relive that past for you to appreciate this test, because it's not worth while saying to you, oh, he was enslaved, and then he was humiliated. You need to understand what did it mean to be a slave in Egypt at his time.
First of all, you need to be aware that slavery was a phenomena, a commercial phenomena during these times. So now when you go to the market, there is a market for shirts and clothes and markets for food and for drinks. There is markets for cattle, cows, sheep, pigs. Back then there were markets for human beings selling human beings. You wanted a European you wanted an African, you wanted an Asian, you wanted an Arab they were there all whether you go there, you check them out, if you like them, you buy them. Simple as that. You buy them, they become yours.
You beat them up, you kill them, you do all sorts of things, they are yours, they are yours. It is in this context that you have to understand the new identity that Yusef assumed.
I was reading about what they spoke about as the slavery market in Egypt during that time. And it was something like this, it was a massive market. It constituted of a big fence, like a courtyard. This fence would be made of wood or stone. And they would bring the slaves from all over the world tight in their hands like prisoners in Guantanamo. And they will put them inside this market, they will untie them and they are free to walk within this territory. Or within this courtyard, they would separate the girls from the boys, the men from the women. And then people would come with bed, yes, he looks fine, I will take him, the buyers would usually go inside the fence. And as if you are
looking at an animal, you will be treated like an animal they would go like you check a cattle, you check a goat or you check a sheep. You look into the eyes, you look into the ears, you look into the teeth, you see how young how old ill or not ill, a buyer would go inside this fence. And we'll check the boys if he's interested in boys or girls. And we'll ask him or her to open the mouth, smell the mouth to see any kind of diseases. Look at the teeth. Look at the eyes, look at the ears, look at the hair, look at the body, touch all all parts and all pieces like you do with a shirt. You check it out, basically. And you would expect us to have been exposed to all that. Now I'm not going to
play with your imaginations. I'm going to leave it to you. But really what I want you to appreciate is the agony, the pain, the humiliation in which he went through, sit down, stand up, turn around, say ah it's like the same humilation that, for example, saddam encountered when he was captured by the American forces. Did you see him when they opened his mouth to check his teeth to say that you saying we were doing a health check on him? That's exactly what they did with us if you would expect because no one would buy just a human being because of he looks he has green or green eyes or black whatever. So he has to check him out. So that's number one. Usually what happens is that beautiful
girls or boys
kept at aside from the rest of the human commodities, and these would be booked for wealthy people, political elites, governors, wealthy rich people, and Youssef, because of his looks, he was put with that group. And it is that context in which he was bought by the king or the Minister of Finance, or the Exchequer, if you want, who bought use of in that context, and usually they would be more expensive than the other boys or girls because of their looks, because you would expect that they are quite good to own in the same way that you think that this shirt is more beautiful than this shirt.
I just wanted you to live this environment.
And he from Egypt to Bolton said to his wife, make his stay comfortable, maybe he will profit us or we shall adopt him as a son. And thus we established use of in the land that we might teach him the interpretation of events. And Allah has full power and control over his affairs. But most of men know not. When he attained his full manhood. We gave him wisdom and knowledge. Thus we reward the righteous and she in whose house he was sought to seduce him. She closed the doors and said, Come on, are you? He said Allah forbid, truly He is my master. He made my state honorable. Verily, the wrongdoers will never be successful.
What is amazing in the story of Youssef, when he was enslaved, open your mouth sit down, stand up, turn around, is that he was silent. He was not saying, Who do you think you are, I am the son of the Prophet, I am usif, I come from Palestine, I'm free. I'm not a slave. He kept quiet. Incidentally, you will notice that usif does not speak a lot in the entire surah except when he is in prison, which is fascinating except when he begins to interact with non Muslims. Amazing.
And I will justify that or try to explain it in a minute. So he's silent. And the mufa sitting say that he was silent because he didn't want to go back to Palestine, because actually going back to Palestine, meant that he will go back to his brothers and his brothers hated him, his brothers orchestrated a plot to kill him. But I would like also to think that there was another reason why he didn't want to go back to Palestine. You see, in comparison between Palestine and Egypt, Egypt was more civilized, Egypt was more urban, Egypt was more modern and progressed in comparison to their time in contrast to their time.
And therefore, we are now thinking about someone who is looking for a new opportunity in the world a new opportunity in life, he wanted, in addition to escape from the household, which to him, as far as his brothers were concerned was held, he was looking for a new experience in life, a new opportunity, a new opportunity to gain more experience to open up to broaden, to meet different people, new people. So he wasn't in a sense, homesick and very much attached to his household. And this is again, part of this healthy character, that yaku has built and developed that in so much care that he gave to us if he also gave him an element of independence, an element of desire, and
love for exploration, and going and experiencing new things in life.
And you could say that this is one part or one reason why he gets silent as if you are saying, I agree, I would like to be in Egypt. And this is also something that you should think about those who think of immigrating back to Pakistan,
or going and settling in Yemen, or Mauritania, and driving camels
and living in a tent.
Fine, you are escaping for all sorts of reasons. And I'm not here to try to persuade you otherwise. But all I'm saying is that where you are now, if you look at it from the other side provides you with ample opportunities. I'm talking here about a slave about someone who is from the outset being sold and bought and humiliated and perhaps abused.
As a child, by the buyers and the sellers. We don't know what happened.
So, Britain, Australia, Canada, America, you are not a slave. You are a British citizen, you are a decent tax payer. Yes. You might be sometimes mistreated in a particular context of seven seven, for example, but yet there are ample opportunities that you can look at. And that's exactly the point that I think could be linked.
He was bought by this
Important Person, the Minister of Finance.
And the good thing is that this Minister of Finance did not have any sons. So Yousif with more or less not encountered the same problems as he encountered when he was with boys. Sisters, of course would agree with me that boys are troublemakers. So the good thing about the palace was that there were no boys. Of course, brothers would agree with me that the only problem was the woman in the house.
So now we are introduced to a different kind of problem. This time, it's women. Of course, the good news for the sisters again, I'm playing against your emotions is that there are 10 brothers plotting against the other brother, there are no sisters, Mashallah sisters are caring because you wouldn't imagine 10 sisters plotting to kill their brother.
Maybe wood these days. But yeah, again, you see, the Quran doesn't generalize about gender doesn't say women are evil, evil, evil No, the mother of abusive, it doesn't always say that men are good, no, you have the brothers who have her own etc. So it's about morals, it's about attitudes. It's not about sexuality and gender.
The palace, therefore is perhaps you might think immediately is a good place, particularly that the person who bought him loved him, he liked him. You see, this person buys slaves on a daily basis. But he doesn't go home and say to his wife, go and treat him in a comfortable, honorable manner. It seems that he saw in this person something that is unique. And from the outset, let me say this,
you need to understand that uses talent, and presence and aura should not be reduced to his looks. Because if you do that you miss a lot of the positive sides in the character.
Because whenever you say to someone surah Yusuf Wow, yes, the sexual temptation, I want to see that no, we are talking about a moving character, going through different processes of temptations of different sorts and different kinds. And the looks are not an issue then when he is in the palace sold and bought the looks is not an issue in this tool, boys come and ask him to interpret the dream, the looks is not the issue and that King makes him the king of Egypt. You don't make people kings, because they are good looking. It's about skills, it's about talents is about other gifts that you have. What I want to say is that usif in one word had presence. That's the word I want you
to bear in mind presence. And when I was in Waterstones, the other day, I saw a massive book called The Art of having presence. presence is something that you cannot work to achieve. It's a gift. It's a talent. It's when you come into a room and people feel the change in the air. This boy at the age of 12, or 13 had presence. Why else on earth with this disease of muscle come to his palace and say to his wife, look, he seems like a unique boy. I don't know anything about him, but I bought him and you better take care of him.
He wasn't knowing very well who he was speaking to.
So she went and took care of him. And that's important. And Allah subhanaw taala then says that when he reached and attained his full manhood, we gave him wisdom and knowledge. And it's fascinating that Allah puts wisdom before knowledge, which implies that wisdom perhaps is more important than knowledge. But the obvious implication is that wisdom is different than knowledge. You see, knowledge is what a lot of Muslims today seek to attain knowledge. I'm going to Mauritania, Yemen, Egypt, Syria, whatever, to attain knowledge, fine, but he comes back and bombs the Twin Towers, that is knowledge and they are knowledgeable people and I always say that you cannot mess with the
average they were knowledgeable people they can make you cry, I always give this example if I can speak English and gives the lecture here he CDs will be best sellers, even best sellers than Harry Potter.
Really, they are knowledgeable people but they went killing all over killing Muslims all over because the paradigm in which they understood the knowledge the point of view was messed up. So you need wisdom. So what is the difference knowledge is information one plus one equals to wisdom
is this certain talent and skill that you attain to know exactly how do you apply the knowledge that you know not everything that you know is applicable, some things are applicable at a certain time, at a certain place at a certain environment. There's a certain context emerging Prophet Mohammed Salaam going all the time saying Howdy, howdy, howdy giving admirations giving.
Each Hadith is about two minutes if it's to be
articulated verbally, maybe the longest sermon that before he died, he summed up everything that 23 years in its entirety. But he would say tequila, lotta very brief. Does this mean that he was ignorant? Far from it may Allah forbid, he used to say to them, one law, he, if I tell you what I know, you will laugh a little and cry a lot. And I'm gonna say I know from the prophet SAW Selim, many things I told you, maybe 10. And if I told you things, I am afraid that my neck will be cut, because he told him certain things because he knew that his mind could accommodate and adapt and understand and comprehend, and that the common Muslims, I'm not saying that Islam creates
hierarchies. But you need to be sensitive as to when, where, why, and how to speak, and to articulate the knowledge. So the real challenge is not the knowledge, don't misunderstand me. I'm not undermining knowledge. I do respect knowledgeable people. And I do have this anxiety to increase in knowledge. But that's an aim. That's not a goal. A goal is wisdom. A goal is Hickman. That's the real challenge. So it's fascinating to realize that you've had both.
He had both the knowledge and the wisdom. Of course, you tell me that, yes, of course, he was a prophet, actually, what is fascinating in the surah, that we are not told when did use it as you and Prophethood. And that is good news for me, because it supports my argument or supports my agenda. Because the moment I start to introduce use of the Prophet, you begin to dehumanize them and say, Well, he's not relevant to me anymore. I want him to be as relevant as much as relevant to you till the end when he dies. And some say he attained Prophethood only when he was in prison.
So even then, even when he was exposed to temptation that is fascinating. He was not a prophet. So he attained his manhood. And we gave him wisdom and knowledge and scholars have disagreed. And this is also fascinating as to when did he attain his full manhood with wisdom and knowledge, some say, at the age of adolescence. Some say when he reached 33, some say when he was 14.
And they do certain readings that in the Quran says when someone reaches the age of 40, he begins to return to Allah, he begins to mature. So what that means that he reached 40. And some rely on Israelites sources, the Old Testament and these kind of things. But the fascinating thing to me is that the age is kept enigmatic for us to believe that there is no certain or particular age in which one attains manhood or womanhood.
To me that Enigma is good, because
it means that anyone, whether he's an adolescent, or 33, or 40, can control himself against the temptation of sexual desire. So if I'm told that he was 40, you'd say, Okay, I can commit adultery and fornication, and when I reach 40, I'll be like,
No, we don't know when did Yusef had the self control? And some say, at the age of 15, at the age of 33, at the age of 40, which, if anything tells us that we can all be like usif, because we don't know exactly how old was he, when he did it? You see, the Quran is very intelligent in the way in which it keeps silent about things, and in the way in which it chooses to articulate certain things. So names, places, locations, date of births are not important, because if he specifies things, it will become irrelevant to those at the age of 60 and 70.
And then we enter into this bit of her now seducing him
and her closing the doors and inviting.
And the verses go on to say, and indeed she did desire him, and he would have been inclined to her desire, had he not seen the evidence of his law.
Thus, it was that we might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely he was one of our chosen guided servers.
I'm not going now to write you an article or a research paper on what did Allah imply when he said and he did indeed, Inc was inclined to have because him Maybe he there is a lot of sayings about it. But there are suffice it to say there are two main arguments
The common famous interpretation is that had he not seen the evidence of his load, he would have been inclined to her because of what he saw from his load. He was not inclined. So the inclination actually did not happen.
So it didn't
materialize, because prior to it being materializing, he saw the proof of his load, if there was no proof from his load, and no one knows exactly what that proof of his load was, he would have been inclined. So actually, he was never inclined. I think that this is a non human way to look at the situation,
a more human way, a more practical way, perhaps, would be to adopt as far as I am concerned.
The other argument and that is, she was inclined to him, by desire by thoughts, that then later translated into action.
She closed the doors, and she spoke and said, Come to me,
he was inclined to her on a level of foods only, which he was then able to control, and therefore did not translate into actions. And here is a point that Islam does not judge us, because of our faults. You can sit here, I'm not saying do it, and fantasize about whatever you want. But when you translate this into action, this is the problem. But of course, when you think too much about these thoughts, they could ultimately translate into actions because with the brothers, they had the thought Yusef is more Beloved, then I'm sure that after a month or two or three times, maybe seeing our double amstar regime, how can we think about such a thing? The following day? No, no. The third,
the fourth month, let's kill Youssef. Because they were thinking every day about it.
with use of the idea came just very quickly. And straightaway, Stefan, Allah, Allah,
and therefore it would never materialize into action. It's like when you are hungry, or fasting, or thirsty, and you pass through or across. For example, I don't know if the example is appropriate to you or not a kebab shop, and you're fasting, and you have a headache and you're hungry or, or McDonald's if you don't like the kebab shop, but McDonald's don't have any smell, neither taste.
So you pass through it. And you say,
but you don't go and grab a sandwich, do you, you don't break your fast. So he smelled the perfume. He perhaps saw her and her beauty in a new context. She was never that beautiful before. And he was young. And he was a bachelor. And he was a stranger. And he has no good buddies. He has no lectures, he has no CDs, all Jews books share to read for and for him. He has nothing no one. He's alone. The doors are closed, we are alone. Imagine imagine brothers. Imagine you go into the underground and take this carriage of a tube and you and a woman is in the carriage alone. That's not total isolation is it because the door might open and your wife comes rushing straight away into the
carriage and everything changes. But here there is no life. Rich the show uses because you are not married.
And more importantly, you are my slave. You are my commodity I bought you. I bred you I I gave you food and drink. When I asked you even to commit suicide you will say yes. So why not? Will you do it? If I say sleep with me? You understand it is this context that Yousuf was exposed to. So it's for sure and only human and natural that he is to be inclined. Otherwise, he's not a man. Okay? He's not a human being. that defies the logic of humanity and manhood. And he was a full man. That is important. So the scene was that the components of seduction whether you're talking about, say we say he was at the age of 45. But remember that he lived his teenage years in the palace. You see,
when he was young, she didn't seduced him. She seduced him only after perhaps 1020 years. So he lived in the palace for 20 years. He rented a flat in the middle of the market. He saw what it meant to be Saturday nights, and people drunk in the street. He knows that he lived the palace situation. He's not a naive blind cat doesn't know what a woman means. No, he knows at all.
He knows that perhaps his was in love with him from the looks. And then we'd not wait for the moment when a women come and say Come to me, it seems that she had a terrible time trying to grab his attention. But she failed consistently last year and the year before. And only during in March, for example, or in August when it was too hot that she thought the time was appropriate. I'm trying to make you realize without trying to make you laugh at something that is obscene. Really, we live this dirty environment on a daily basis. Not because we are
Berbick, let's live angelic life, we will go back home and everyone will go to his life. I want you to appreciate the context in which Yusuf was living.
For you then to appreciate how he said, may Allah forbid, you see, if I told you he or she said use the man he said, Oh, may Allah forbid you will, what do you expect you expect to be that person and hear the prayer on his forehead more or the laws, the federal law and marry you first and then we do what we can't know.
There is suffering, there is a struggle. He is a stranger. He is a tourist look at what tourists do when they go to, I don't know, the Bahamas.
He's a slave.
He is a bachelor.
And on the top of that, she adores him, an expression that Princess Diana used when she was saying that I adore this snooker player. I adore him. I'm in love with Anna Shaco.
Yeah, she wants him. she invites him. Sometimes that could be repulsive.
Sometimes it excites some men, but in most men, if you're a decent man, I want you No, no, that's repulsive. But it's not the invitation. It's the beauty. She was beautiful. How do you know did you see her? Well, what would you expect of an important personality? Who is the Minister of Finance getting married to who, of course, he has no problem with the dowry. He has no problem with a flat, he's not going to live in a council flat with all due respect. He has a palace. So when he gets married, he will choose the most beautiful woman.
Even then he made a mistake. But anyway,
she is beautiful. She has power. And really it excites some men, when they're invited by powerful women.
A manager in a company.
And more importantly, that place is safe. Work alacati above the Arabic expression is very specific, delicate, delicate means she made sure that the doors are closed well. So when you go and put your key in a door, and you twist it once she twisted it 60 times to make sure that it will never open. Some say above the doors. Some of us sitting say that the palace was so massive that it had various doors. This door is for the guests. And this door is where the servants come from this door where my husband come from I'll look at 700 times.
Some say that the palace was so big that there were those after those after those those behind those behind those so the miskeen husband have to open the first, the second, the third, the fourth until he sees his wife attempting to have an affair.
This is the situation this is the palace. This is the city center. This is the internet. This is the Pluto. This is the sort of things that you see on TV magazines, posters. This is the situation that Yusef was into.
Yet he said no. And I can leave you with that. But it will frustrate you wouldn't it I mean, especially young people, I could say look at UCF Mashallah he said no, you would rather go and say no my other love to the daily temptations at work underground posters, even in the house, TV satellites, internets. I can say this to you say maravilla. You will say today, tomorrow you will say my mother after tomorrow Allah.
What is it that made this strong personality? What is it? And this question, I'm sorry to say has been bugging me thinking asking, asking women asking men asking scholars, what is it How can I be like uses?
And incidentally, how can you be like use it as a woman? Because usif is not agenda based character. So even Emma Z's she could be like Yusef Yes, she could.
So what are the components? Okay, here, let me
play with your psyche a little bit and introduce you into the mind of usage but also also introduce you into the mind of this woman. And let's together draw a list of the differences between us and this woman to see what is it that made use of Samer Avila to see what is it that makes a woman goes out of her feminine nature and invites a man verbally? What is it? So let's draw a list and put she and he and let's see.
has nothing better to do.
Has nothing better to do? No children.
The husband is outside the house all of the time playing chess and
and flirting with other girls perhaps because he has got lots of beautiful secretaries at work. And he doesn't care about the household.
He comes home just to sleep
or watches TV while eating popcorn with these big belly. That's all what he wants. He comes home expecting the palace to be clean. Because there are many servants so there is no much pressure. The woman is sitting at home doing nothing.
She watches neighbor neighbors finished. She watches friends friends is finished. She looks at the gossip magazines. Okay, hello. She knows who had a sexual affair. Britney Spears black bit, she follows Oh, but she still has nothing. She looks onto the internet. And she begins chatting with candy and Sandy.
And then realize that Sandy and candy is Mark and Robert.
And she falls in love with Mark and Robert, even if he is the ugliest of the ugly. You see the issue here for that woman was not the looks of use. If I'm not here on the mining, I will come to the looks in a minute. But I'm talking about the world and this woman in which this woman was living in the looks. I can understand the looks having an impact on the other women that saw us and start cutting their fingers because Wow, amazing. I've never seen a man like that before.
We'll build hunky beautiful hair, all the rest of it. He correlates to the ideal man that I consume in the magazines and in the posters and everything. Wow, amazing. He's an angel. I can understand that. Here the looks is applicable. But this woman is not about the looks because she's not amazed by the looks. She sees him every day for the last 20 years. It is something other than the looks. You need to understand this brothers and sisters. You see when you get married to the most beautiful husband. You don't wake up every day Mashallah. You're amazing. You're beautiful. He says going cook me some food and you go bleeding all over your hand. Oh, you are amazing. Doesn't happen. This
amazing. Maybe during the honeymoon, maybe during the couple of days, and then you discover that this handsome person beats you up.
You begin to hate his guts.
So certainly she saw in use of something that she never saw in her husband.
either minded lots of spare time. He
a busy person. How do you know them of a city and tell us that the experience that you've got to be able to become the master
and the finance minister replacing the post of his master. You see, the person who bought him was called al Aziz, who was the finance minister. He died eventually.
And Youssef took his place took his job, you know why? Use it wasn't just looking for power. He thought he was out in the field. It made me assume this role. Why? Because I have the talent. I have the experience. How on earth did you get this experience? You are in prison for the last 15 1620 years? Oh, no. But when I was in the palace, I must not doing crosswords. I was not sitting with the women eating popcorn and watching friends and neighbors. No. I was getting early in the morning waking up. Going out in the morning. The master interested him because remember, he took him as his son. So he would go check this farm for me. Collect the corn. Make sure that this corn is sold with
that price. This farm is not cultivating enough corns make sure that the following year the person went home tired, exhausted, he have no time for sexual desires. I'm not saying that he's not a man, that he's not a human being that he's not attracted to women. But he's not preoccupied with sex all the time.
As people are here in the West, everything is sex sex you you you stamp sex into everything to sell Phyto a sexy water by this car sexy car. Buy this watch you become sexy. I've been wearing this watch for 20 years nothing happened.
Yeah, because sex is becoming a commodity.
It's becoming an identity you want to buy into drink Coca Cola Santa, you become sexy, trendy, cool, safe, man. That's the identity you want. You're looking for this identity to be accepted by the other preferably the opposite sex.
have this problem to become sexy in the summer, lose weight, lose weight, not because you will die out of obesity, but to be sexy for the male gaze and then go to hell. That's the logic. So, Yusef would come home exhausted and we'd go to bed, he has no time to think. And to be obsessed. So here he a busy schedule, she, nothing to do.
If there was Yusef if there wasn't hammered, if there was Tom, if there was john, she would still invite.
And what drove her crazy, of course, that he said, No, how on earth would you say no to such a beautiful lady, and you are a slave. She was shocked. But her respect for him increased. And this is an advice for all brothers, I think a decent lady will always respect a decent man, even if this decent man did not give into her demands. decency brothers, is a human value that is appreciated, even by animals, even by trunk trees, why else did the trunk tree weep on the hands of the Prophet because it misses him. So the entire environment appreciates your decency.
And she continued to love him, even when he went in prison.
What is fascinating is that under buisiness, I want you to also bear something in mind. And this is quite sensitive here. What I'm going to tell you now,
many brothers, many sisters actually engage in illicit relations and sentiments and thoughts and thinking and actions, on the hope that they will change when they get married. But it doesn't work. Because you begin to develop a package, a mental package that this package comes with you.
Even after marriage.
There are many women and there are many men that during a marriage relationship, fantasize about another man. And he fantasizes about another woman, when he is sleeping with her, he's thinking about another woman, he's imagining that she is another woman. If she has black hair, he assumes that she's blonde,
and so forth.
And even Tamia. It's fascinating. Even taymiyah, who never got married, to your astonishment, said that it's Haram, for a brother to think about someone else
other than his wife, even in the level of thinking, but there are people who do it all the time, because they are bombarded with images all the time.
So it's important, or brothers that have developed an addictive habit to internet that sites, obscene sites, when he was young.
And when he gets married, he expects his wife to be adaptable to the package that he is coming from where this kind of clothes do this, do this. And the wife has not been trained to do that. If the wife has not been trained to cook, do you want her to be trained to belly dancing? It's impossible. In most cases, I don't know. But I'm just assuming, and therefore a husband wife relationship, and she expects him to be this, this this and he doesn't feel the expectation.
So what I'm saying is that this addiction, don't think that it will wither away when you get married. The best thing is to be decent from the beginning.
Look at this story. It's fascinating.
An Arab man
divorced his wife after discovering that she was also his virtual girlfriend.
So Sandy candy is on hammered that is in the kitchen.
The man had been flirting with a woman on an internet chatroom for several months. But when they finally met up at a bus station, he recognized her as his wife.
He immediately shouted the Arabic words for either Vasil three times, the husband had assumed the online identity of Adnan.
While his wife had described herself as an unmarried Muslim lady called Jamila,
whose cultural interests include reading and portraying my husband.
It was reported that when the man uttered the words of divorce, effectively ending the marriage, the woman responded by calling him a liar, before she fainted.
What is fascinating in this story is not what you think is fascinating. To me. What is fascinating is that this husband
can exactly be a romantic husband
can write rosy words and poetry.
And this wife who is always changing the nappies,
and in the kitchen can be a romantic wife, but they have never been trained to utilize their emotional intelligence with each other.
So candy becomes only
Hamad Al Hamad becomes Kandi and Abu Ali becomes Adnan and I've known Isabel highly, while they are at the same time, the same people.
So we need to develop this emotional intelligence, not with another woman.
Not with another man, but with our.
So, what do we deduce from here? What do we get out of this story? And our list of she and he, she.
She felt an emotional vacuum in her life. He was emotionally filled. He was beloved by his father. He felt he was beloved by Allah. He felt in peace with himself. He didn't need the other to fulfill him. He didn't need the other to assure him that Oh, what a gorgeous man. He didn't need that. He was content. He had self esteem, he had confidence.
And this is what I said in children around the Prophet that also saw Selim, when he was a bringing his children. Fatima. He used to treat her what
he used to whenever he sees her, he kisses her, he stands up for her, he kisses her on her forehead, and he makes her sit in his place. He fills her emotionally. So when she goes outside the household and she hears or sees a man telling her what a beautiful girl, she doesn't fall for him. Because her father filter, she comes from a stable family background. Nowadays, the daughter perceives herself in the sight of her father and mother, as an evil as devil, as ugly, as stupid as an idiot. But when there is a real idiot outside a real idiot, wolf outside saying, Wow, what a nice, beautiful girl, she falls for him. Because that's the only time and only context in which you heard someone say to
her something that is beautiful. He doesn't have to be use if he doesn't have to have the looks. He just have to have the Crafty mind in tapping into what a woman wants. And he knows that while a father doesn't know it.
So she was feeling and encountering an emotional vacuum while he was emotionally filled. And of course, the third and most important, of course, is that he was connected with Allah while she was not. But really this connection with Allah, I want to take it a step further because we hear a lot about connection with Allah lowering the gaze, Fear Allah etc. But really, I would like to emotionalize the relationship between you and Allah and that is how it should be. Do you know sometimes when you love so much, if you've experienced that you love so much, your husband you love so much your wife you love so much your father, you love so much your brother, you love so much,
someone who you love, because you see and you respect? Will you be able to look
in a bad way to someone in a particular context, in front of that person whom you love, you will feel embarrassed. Look at two brothers when they are in the underground, everyone is doing like this. But when a girl comes, everyone is doing like this.
And when he's not watching, he watches and when he watches he lowers his gaze. This relationship between you and your husband has been even doubly stronger. Between Yusef and Allah.
How on earth else would it be that in this spontaneous urgent context of a woman saying to a man come to me? Will he be prepared so eloquently to tell her my other law? May Allah forbid the first word?
It's like a man saying sorry, I'm married. Or a boy Sorry, I have a girlfriend. Here. It's not husband, wife, brother, sister, mother, father, Allah forbid. Which means if anything that Allah is present all the time in my head, so I am emotionally filled. I am busy. But more importantly, Allah is in my head. In this context, it's virtually difficult, if not impossible, to fall for anyone, be it a women, power, man, job, any kind of temptation. This is to me the recipe that made use of such a powerful character.
The other husband enters. It becomes very interesting when the husband then comes to the palace and sees what has happened and both raced to the door and she tore his shirt from the back. And they both found her load at the door. She said what is the punishment for
Him who intended against your wife, except that he should be put in prison or a painful tournament. He said it was she that sought to seduce me.
And a witness of her household bore witness. If it be that his shirt is stolen from the front, then she is true and he is a liar. And if his shirt his tone, the back then she has told a lie. And he is saying the truth. Then when he saw his shirt tone at the back, he said, presumably the husband, Surely it's a plot of you, women, certainly you plot is great.
So they both raced, I want you to imagine man and woman racing to the door. But for a different purpose. He is racing to the door to try to unlock the 50 times shot keys. She is running after him because she shut these doors by hand, and she will grab him from the back to me, he is running from temptation. He is running from seduction.
He is racing to win temptation, he is racing to win the shaper. you encounter this race on a daily basis, you will never be able to win that race unless you
unless you have this high stamina in you.
How do you have the stamina? You think about it, I'm not going to give you a course on demand syndrome and how to increase our demand.
You need to increase your stamina. This is what I call spiritual fitness, Eman fitness to be able to run and make sure that when you run, you win the race otherwise she will grab you from the back. She meaning woman. I don't look at her as a woman. I look at her as a symbol for all sorts of temptations. But of course, sexual temptations are one of the strongest temptations.
And then, really, it's fascinating. And then when they open the door they see hallowed, which is her husband.
Woman amazing. Just a few seconds ago, she was saying come to me. And now
he was aiming to rape me. So Pamela, this total shift and twist. That means that she was mature. I would say I don't know that this is perhaps not unprecedented experience. Maybe she did it before. It seems that she was prepared. She had a spontaneous response and a logic. She was not stumbling. She was not hesitant. She was not sweating. She was not saying why on earth did you come at that time? You didn't call me to say I'm coming home. She wasn't saying I didn't do it. Straight away, she was able to formulate a very intelligent question. What are you going to do about your honor? Shouldn't you imprison this person or expose him to severe punishment? She didn't mention death, by
the way, because she was in love with him. Very intelligent. That's why he says you have the greatest plot of women.
And then the man after the witness, and after realizing Oh, this is the second time the shirt is introduced. Now. The shirt plays a tremendous role. The shirt could make
the father cry, but the shirt could also save your life. That's how important shirts are. I'm advertising shirts now. So it is the shirt that rescued I don't want to over stretch it down. But it is good that the shirt was torn.
It's good that something bad happened to you because maybe it is that bad thing that will rescue in the future.
What is the response of the husband? Did he slap Youssef? Did he slap ah. How on earth? How dare you? Oh Youssef. Turn away from this. Oh women ask forgiveness for your sin. Verily your of the sinful?
Didn't I tell you that this is the kind of husband that we are talking about a husband that doesn't care about his wife or husband that doesn't care that there is a man a strange man, good looking man with good character and presence is with his wife on a daily basis. He doesn't care. All what he cares about is his job. All what he cares about is his employment that enables him to pay the bills.
That's all what he cares about. He doesn't have any concern for the wife, for the children for nothing.
Just about his status in society, so keep quiet yourself. And you asked for forgiveness and that's it. Did he take us if at least out of the house even that he did not do and use have continued to
In the house. Now I told you something that I want to connect with this verse. Do you remember when I told you that it might have been repulsive
for a woman to invite a man and a man being attracted to a woman that invites a man verbally, because some would consider not to be that feminine? Did you remember that? Where did I get this from actually use if continued to be with the woman in the house. And therefore, there was another context of continuous temptation, even now, if it did not involve this vigorous way of inviting. So the temptation continued. Now he knows that she is in love with him. But she doesn't invite him anymore. Because the husband reproached she doesn't invite anymore, but the context of temptation is still there. And now she can act feminine. And now she can act normal. And now she can just look at
him, smile at him, dress the following day, in a certain way, wear this perfume, it is the post invitation period, which was more tempting for usif than the temptation event itself.
We don't know how long he stayed in the palace with her. But I would like to think that it was a long period, until the scandal of the woman being in love with that man spread into the city through the gossip society, the magazine, the Okay, and the Hello magazine, of course, the hello and the okay magazine, were represented in the group of women that spoke about the scandal. But prior to that, he was living with the and brothers and sisters, I don't want to again, dwell into that too much, because you are perhaps familiar with it. But imagine a boy or a man who knows that this woman is stalking him through the internet, emails, university halls of residence, he knows that.
Surely he thinks about even if he dislikes it, he at least likes the idea that someone somewhere is in love with him.
So use of sitting everyday in his room?
What am I doing here? This is dangerous for me.
So the palace and its environment continued even after the temptation. And I would like to argue that this was more tempting more testing, because he had access to the women within the palace, then, at the moment when she invited him which might have been repulsive for a man.
And then the story began to develop, that everyone now knew outside the palace,
that this woman is in love with this man. How did they know that? Because after the temptation, you see, when the husband came, the file was closed, so no one was aware of it. How did these women therefore knew about the love affair,
because the temptation continued in the palace, and now the servants were becoming aware of it. The servants did not witness the confrontation between the husband and the wife and use if they were only the three of them and the witness the fourth.
But now the temptation continued, everyone realized that this woman is in love with this man, which means that it became something that is now noticeable and obvious. It is in this context. Now, that servants began to speak to the servants of the other palace, and the servants of the other close by houses. And this is how the woman in other palaces houses, became aware that in this palace of the finance minister, there is a love affair going on.
And women in the city set, the wife of Al Aziz is seeking to seduce her young man. Indeed, His love has deepened in her heart. Verily, We see her in plain error. So when she heard of the whispering, she sent for them and prepared a cushion coaches our seats and gave to each of them a knife and said, Come out before them, which means that he was still in the house.
Then when they saw him, they exalted Him and cut their hands and said, Allah awful bit.
He is not a mankind. He is not but a noble Angel.
Now, two things to be said about the woman and about the women of the Al Aziz, the one that was seducing us if both were living, idle minded.
The women were gossiping because they have nothing better
to do. And the other woman, which is Mr. Tan Aziz was responsive to their gossip because he was not busy doing something else which endorses what I was saying, when I was drawing the list, he and she. So this is the behavior of a woman that is receptive and sensitive to any kinds of gossip. She reads the daily tabloid newspapers, she's aware of all the accusations and she even have time to go and plot against those who are gossiping against her. So she invited them and she patted them with a seating and gave them knives and said to Youssef Oh, jolly him.
And when they saw him, they were shocked. Of course, scholars have exaggerated the beauty of Youssef. And
some scholars even explained them in a very feminine way, which is not befitting to a prophet, because the Mufasa in our males, so they tried to describe him as they would describe a beautiful woman, which defies the logic of it. He was a beautiful man, beautiful in a manly manner. So that was important. Of course, some of us sitting say, I am not sure whether this is true or false. They say that he was so beautiful, that sometimes he would cover his face, so that he doesn't create inconvenience to the female world, you might be surprised. But that is the extent he has no problem him seeing, but him being seen, that was problematic.
She said, this is he about whom you did blame me and I did seek to seduce him, but he refused. And now if you will not do what I owe to him, then he will certainly be put in prison, and he will be one of those who are disgraced. Then he said, Oh, my lord prison is more to my liking, than to which they invite me unless you turn away the plot from me, I will feel inclined
towards them, and be one of the ignorance Look, this is the human speaking now. He's not saying Oh, Allah leave me in the palace and inshallah I am a prophet, you will protect me. But the palace seems comfy and nice and warm. No, this is dangerous, or law. I'm a human being. Now we are talking about 60 women that are seducing me. It's not just any more this woman, it's everyone. I cannot resist all prison is better. For me. What is fascinating here is that in the context of temptation, he should be happy now that women are after him and theoretical. And even then, even if he's not happy.
You know, there are certain contexts of temptation in the market, or in the TV, you sometimes see things.
But you don't necessarily remember Allah in that context. Why is it that you get the best reward when you say that you are of the market? Why is it because when you go to the market, you are busy with shopping? And so you get about 1 million has no if you say la ilaha illallah wa de la sharika. lah, homolka Han, yo, yo, yo, me?
Oh, Allah coalition party. Why? Because in the context of a market, which is perhaps one of the evil places in contrast to a mosque, or going to a mosque, the door is so short, because everyone remembers that you're going to make the case, but the market, you get a lot of reward, because it's not conducive to remembering Allah. The point is that in this context of seduction and temptation, which is not conducive to someone thinking about anything to do with Allah, but to do with his manhood, Oh, I didn't know that I was not cool. It is that context that he was able to withdraw himself, not to talk to the women not to talk to the girls, not to say, Oh, you've cut your hand.
You know, I know first aid. Oh, no, no, I shall I'll talk to you about our system. Let's talk about dour. No, he didn't get involved with all that because he knows this is dangerous. This is not conducive to dry. Now, this dictates an immediate withdrawal. Because it's reaching a point that is intolerable, unbearable. And it is in this context that we see use of withdrawing himself
and praying to Allah. And again, this links very well with the connection that I was telling you, that Allah is always in the conscious and in the subconscious of uses, irrespective of what the other is doing or saying.
And something else to do with him favoring prison. Now this is a boy who has traumatic experiences with darkness, traumatic experiences with loneliness, traumatic experiences with being in the middle of nowhere. So why on earth would he replicate this negative experience that he experienced or encountered?
In the world, by wanting to relive this experience in prison,
you would expect him to fear anything to do with darkness. This is the paranoia. I was saying to you that he did not become paranoid from mice, because if I go to prison, there will be mice. No, no, I don't want mice. When I was 12. I had mice all over my body. No, no. Because he's thinking now in new terms, to me, prison is better than the palace. He wasn't thinking that prison is going to be worse than the well, he's not thinking about the well. Now he's thinking about the palace, that is shifting the way in which he's thinking and prioritizing where he wants and does not want to be. But something else other than that, and that is to him, it seems, again, in the same way that Egypt was
an opportunity for him to expand in knowledge and broaden his mind, and not to go back to Palestine. Perhaps he thought that prison is another opportunity to engage with the outer society, and to begin now to give Dawa in the proper serious sense. But more importantly, to him, prison was real freedom, because to him, prison constraints the body, not the mind and the soul. Being in the palace, I might enjoy 60, bathrooms, and 70 bedrooms. But that's constraining my soul that's constraining my mind. I don't want to think about women. I don't want to think about seduction, I have greater energies that should be channeled to upper higher aspirations and achievements. I don't want to continue thinking
about my lower parts. I have a brain, I have a heart, I have muscles, I have energy. Maybe prison will enable me to exercise these energies and channel them positively in a way that the palace would not do. And indeed, throughout history, prison have always been a turning point in the life of great people. People like even taymiyah people like Malik people like Abu hanifa people like a Shafi. They were all imprisoned. People like Malcolm X, people like Gandhi, people like the person who they did a statue for Mandela. So prison is an opportunity for greatness and expansion of the mind and the brain. Then it appeared to them after they had seen the proofs to imprison him for a time. This is
Incidentally, the same negative way of thinking that the brothers had, the husband thought that rather than dealing with his wife, and trying to patch up relations and say, I'll be a good husband for you. He thought that the best solution is to remove use it again in the same way that the brothers thought of removing Yusef
which of course defied the logic because the woman continued to love yourself in the same way that you have continued to love Youssef. Despite his absence and his presence in prison. I have ended the palace. Let me therefore read to you the concluding remarks. Number one, Yusef was exposed to a radical shift from being the beloved son of a prophet to one who is as a slave bought and sold to although a difficult experience, Yusef was able to adapt to it and utilize it to gain new experiences and new opportunities, which he would then use to benefit himself but also benefits society as we will come to learn later, three, Youssef made sure that he did not live a passive or
an idle life, but maintained a daily engaged schedule as a young bachelor that helped turn away his thinking from illicit sex, for Islam recognizes sexual desire because Allah created it for a purpose. But this desire should not become an end and an obsession, energy should be positively channeled to attain higher achievements. Five illicit practices of a sexual nature prior to marriage, develop into strong habits, which Die Hard, even after marriage, things such as fantasizing, comparing and affairs. And there's a hadith that says the first people that Allah will punish are a group of people. One of them is a Zani shave, a shave, an old man who is continuously
committing adultery and fornication. Now, the Tafseer of this hadith is that he will be punished because he's ashamed. He's an old man, he shouldn't be thinking about these things. Now, by that age, you should be thinking about more spiritual matters, that he is married now and has children etc. But he continues to commit adultery, but another Tafseer actually or another interpretation. See
Also to be relevant, and that is the fact that this man have always got into the habit of having affairs with women. So much so that age marriage having children, grandsons and granddaughters did not change his habits.
So he will die in his adult.
Six emotional fulfillment is a natural need and should be satisfied first at home by the parents and later husband or wife, preoccupied with other engagements at the expense of nourishing this desire could lead it to being sought from illicit channels.
Seven affairs destroy confidence and trust in a marriage relationship and could lead to the other party engaging in an affair by way of revenge when I wrote this, which I cannot verify, I wrote it and I had in mind that perhaps the husband was engaging in affairs. Being a busy person being outside the household most of the time being an important person, famous person. That's why we get a lot of scandals in the paper about this politician and this politician falling in love having a love affair with the Secretary because he sees the secretary perhaps more than he sees his wife. Number eight one would not be able to count a seduction if he is not well connected with Allah through a
love and fear relationship.
Number nine, a change of environment whenever applicable is advised when one fears for his chastity or your kolyada stuff.