The Obstacles to My Journey to Allah #08 – Tongue 2

Haifaa Younis


Channel: Haifaa Younis


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AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the importance of practice, love, and respect for oneself in achieving success in Islam. They provide advice on protecting oneself and avoiding harms, as well as the need for individuals to practice safe practices and avoid harms. They also discuss the negative impact of backbiting and the importance of protecting privacy, as well as the need for individuals to practice safe practices and avoid getting into trouble. They end by reminding individuals to be cautious and safe.
AI: Transcript ©
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Bismillah your man you're walking I'm

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sorry I'm on ecological flow with a catalyst

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for someone else so you get a wide array he was certainly here woman wah wah Melinda my info now on foreigner Vemma antenna Anika Samia when would you would do a lot when you're older become an everyday I'm hoping they are shocked when I've seen that a shower Do you smell a banana to bother it had eaten our husband I'm a little in Canton Wahab OB Schlafly southern US Cindy Emery, why not let me Sandy Ali welcome everyone last class inshallah in the series is eight weeks it's two months since we started so how as if it is yesterday I remember very well and but again I will remind you what Roswaal is auto cinema remind us which I love this every time I come to an end of something I

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shaped me to live as long as you want gonna die

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in a camo fabric, my favorite love room so what do you want to love you will get you will depart you will depart for many reasons but you will depart and then the last one and that's the whole thing. The whole message of this end money machine can

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do whatever you want to do you will see it it's not going to depart from us we'll see it so always remember this so we have a lot of brand new May Allah reward to every mommy and daddy Weren't you all for coming? I have to say it was really heartwarming, you absolutely exceeded my expectations. So may Allah reward you arch Allah may Allah make it for our in our good deeds in our book all of us those who come those who are online and the people who are Masha Allah may Allah be one of them worked hard on getting this to be a reality in handler branding free learned one word handler to learn one word and then through this word you learned you changed one person handler and remember

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this advice I was sorry sought assembly to save 90 And he said yeah did not will be coloratura noir Hayden. Hi I'm looking forward to Allah guided through your one person.

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One person guide through you is way better to you than you own a whole herd of red camel which is close to millions of dollars these days one person and this person could be anyone, not necessarily the person you want to guide because that's sometimes what happens is we focus on that person is my children or my spouse or my friend, or the person I love that's maybe Allah doesn't want to use you for that person. Maybe he wants to use you for another person. So always be and I will want to remind you have one of the best advices I was given the probably the first class when we when I started studying in Saudi and she looked at us and she says coolly mobile okay Mr. Conte Be blessed

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wherever you are.

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Remember this word be blessed what is blessed me? What does it mean? Mean wherever you are there going to be hired comes out some goodness is going to come out and not necessarily always indeed you change somebody you know what I'm saying somebody's face down. And because you are there and you say nice words reality what you remind them of Allah are you then you have you made the gut you made you become a blessed because you brought goodness. So wherever you are always make this is your goal is not to impress people, or so people will like me or love me. But that who cares about these things, these are all things is going to go away. It's the most important thing that when you are there, you

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will bring fruit if you want to use the word and then people will miss you when you are not there.

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Let's let's you be and I always make this draft for myself as a person sort of behind. Allah says about the money so children have historically Allah says in a negative way, but that's how you learn the positive is what I need to learn the opposite is the pot the positive and he said from our bucket it husana OMA can remember it. When Allah destroyed the people, the many striving children of Australia, the sky did not shed tears on them. Meaning it's a figure of speech meaning they meant nothing for them. And there is people when they disappear, people shed tears not because you love them. As people you cry when we don't see them because they benefited you. You want to be that

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person. That's when you are not there people miss you, because they miss the goodness that you bring with you. So always remember this insha Allah and may Allah subhanaw taala again, make us always always a source of faith must pattern always open the door for learning. Open our hearts to learn

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The most important thing is he opens a whole heart and body to practice. If you learn and you don't practice, that's a disaster.

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Because then Allah is going to ask me, what did you do with the knowledge I gave you, let alone homeless. So let's continue. Who can tell me what were the obstacle? Let me just recap again. This is an eight week series that I need to take and think And subhanAllah I cannot plan it to finish on these blessed days, Allah is the best planner Subhanallah and then I need to know that I am going to in a journey to Allah subhanaw taala. And this lesson there is reminds me of the journey. So it goes from point A to point B, point A is my life. Point B is when I'm going to be in front of him. You always have to remind yourself of that meeting. That private interview I call it. You know, have you

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ever had an interview before? Who has an interview before? Show me your hands? Right? How did you feel the night before? How scared right terrified anxiety? Can we change it? I hope they call me and say it's next week. Right? We all did that right? Doesn't matter any any interview. Now this is human being who was interviewing me and you same as you are. Right? And I always remind women especially who are very uncomfortable if they are obvious Muslim. And I said when he was sit there don't say anything to anybody just say to yourself, Allah is gonna give you the job in London.

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So imagine this is people how we feel at home gonna stand in front of Allah,

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Yeoman out during

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the Great Exhibition, each one of us young and old, when I think of this, it's beyond my thinking. We'll call him it he'll mentality for me, every one of us gonna be in front of Allah alone is a private moment is going to ask me every single thing. Don't ask me how?

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Because of the Sahaba hasta, la sua they saw to Assam, how we can see Allah Hunter, each one of us.

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They asked him because it's beyond our thinking, what did he say? It's amazing answer. He said like he gives you sustenance, each one of you,

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you will see each one of you. So he will ask me the same way he feeds me every single day. So be prepared for that. So this is my journey, I need to get ready. But as I said, This journey is not easy. This journey has a lot of obstacles. And the obstacles is part of it is what surrounds me part of it is me, most of it is me. Most of it is me and I don't know it's an obstacle. And I don't think of it because we are all very busy running around. You don't even have time to think right you don't have time to eat. People eat as on the go. So the obstacles we set number one was this life itself. And all its beauty, all its beauty. And again, I say this again, you live in a beautiful state is

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one of distractions. And number two is people around so it's the thing and the people's number two people and the people could be anyone in my life. And it also depends on your age. So when I am young, you know I'm teenagers, usually my friends, you know I get a little bit older it's my colleagues and I get married it's usually my husband or my spouse, my wife, my children and then there is a community the surroundings itself every one of us your your distraction of people is not mine and vice versa. But people are huge distraction. That's why you're always a disease the physicians they thought about or collude with the physicians of the heart not cardiologist they

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always tell you and recommend you take time off alone. And don't by yourself go on the beach go for a walk and go for a walk with nothing don't go with the phone. You're not telling but this will help you then you've come yourself what is the other distraction is me is my characters is the arrogance in me. How dare she say this to me? Don't she knows who I am. That's arrogance. And then to

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show off I do to impress I wait for the praise three angles anger huge one huge one anger because all these makes me disobey Allah and makes me forget Allah so it's an obstacle. I don't see him. I don't want to please him. I don't think of meeting him now. It's about people and me so anger poor jealousy mashallah

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I'm sorry, I

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can't hear you. I can't hear you.

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Can you see cloudy?

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Right. So the tongue is too so there is what else we learned.

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Speak louder for some reason I'm not telling you today.

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What? Yeah, we said the attachment so

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JR and people. And then he said me, Cuba, right? And then show off. And then what about jealousy? Right? And then we said the anger and then two chunks. two classes of tongue now we're going to come to the tongue issue. I'm going to summarize to you just points what we learned last week, so you can bring your focus again. So what is this? We said the first the first problem in my tongue, and I'm going to keep saying it to me. And always learn this say to you don't say somebody else don't say she, you then that means I'm perfect. And no one is perfect. So number one is speaking about things not of my concern, majority of the talk.

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Number one, number two,

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what did we say? Talking about? of sanity, vile things that is not appropriate. I saw a movie enough the problem of the sin of seeing the movie, no, that's not enough. I've come in the morning and I talk about it.

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So double, and maybe triple because then I get to make somebody else likes it and won't see it. So I am the cause for that person to be weakened incense. So that's number two. Number three.

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We said speaking in a way that it's too sophisticated to show off so I use words nobody understand.

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Right? And now I'm not talking about you're giving a speech where you need to be eloquent but in general, what did she say? What was this word mean? It just to impress so as like, they don't know what I'm saying. So it's all comes from the origin of most of the diseases on the tongue is arrogance. Arrogance number one is arrogance. I want to be better than people it's something in us and you know how you know this is when you get I always it's when you are with people you get invited what is the first thing you say who's who's dress better than me? Who look prettier than me? I want to be the best and that's because of Phil's my arrogance and also because of show off so this

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is number three number four too much joking. mocking people.

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I don't know if I said this last week, maybe not Allah knows is keeping secrets.

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You know, what is the joke?

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If you want to all the time to know something, tell that person don't tell anybody.

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And then everybody will know.

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So when someone tells you don't see it, they are it's a trust. Send Amana? Literally it's a trust, everything will be out good. Keep your covenants. So when someone looks at you says Don't say it. I trust you. I need your opinion. Don't go out and talk about it. So if shall certainly say and then including also lying, not keeping your words.

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I'll come tomorrow at 11 You'd have no intention of coming.

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That's not only lying, but you're not keeping your word. So the best way to what don't say it. So I'll do my best in sha Allah. I don't think I can make it but let's see, Allah can make things easy. Do it this way. Leave it open if you're not 100%. But if you say your see me at seven, and you have no intention of going then absolutely your number online and you're not going to keep your word, then we're going to come to the

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backbiting what did we say last week? What is backbiting?

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Anybody knows what is the definition of that pointy? Yes.

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Talk about someone else, even if it is good or bad.

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talking behind Okay, so it's talking behind someone's back. But let's give you the definition is the crooked a haka be my Accra, Eden Manawa. This is four points I'll translate, mentioning someone, Shira here, not present.

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not present. That's the whole idea. They are not there, even if they are here, but they're in the other room and we are talking about her or him. That's backbiting be monocrop something he or she doesn't like,

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either when Allah when it's reached, or when he hears what you said, or she hears what you said, they're gonna get upset. Then you backpacked it.

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Is it clear? I know you're not going to answer me today because that's going to be the toughest class. Because that's very common. It's a disease. It's a pandemic is more than the COVID

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between Muslims and non Muslims. If you work in the real life, first thing in the morning when you come for the rounds, they tell you, what is the talk of the day.

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It's very natural for people. Right? But for us Muslims, we need this reminder. What did Allah stand out?

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I said about backbiting. Yeah, you had an enamel sorter Who do you want the compartments of the rooms? They call it the sewer, the chatter of advocates. The chatter of aesthetic advocates you want to you want to know what Muslims should do and don't do in their interaction with others is going to read social how to run the compartments. Allah says in the last page. Yeah, last week, the first i Yeah, it was a mystery. Ruka zero minute one. Number one. Oh, you who believe you and me anytime, anytime you're here in the Quran or read in the Quran? Yeah, Medina, or who you believe are all believer. So in our blog, we must all use to say it has some meaning what Allah has going to be

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saying you will need to listen. You know, when you look at somebody and you say, listen to what I'm going to tell you.

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What does that mean?

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And you want the person to really listen to me say what what tell me I was paying real attention. That's when hola Santana says, Yeah, you already

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sent me down. It's a call. He didn't call there's another call you and dance you have any slide? There's other calls in the Quran, or people or children of Australia, Israel, but when he says yeah, you unless you are looking at Harmony, this is you and me. Listen very well. Number one is all orders. Orders in the Quran mean? It's an obligation.

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If you do it, you will be rewarded. If you don't do what you will be punished.

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And if the order don't do the same thing, don't do it. And I don't do it. I'll be rewarded. Don't do it. And I do it. I will be punished. Yeah, yeah. 100 in all believers, you and me. Allah is looking at you when we were believers. Alhamdulillah each attendee will come here. I mean, I've been staying away from much suspicion.

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I know why he said that. I have I can tell you what she's thinking. That's what suspicious.

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extendable, extendable, Allah used it for alcohol.

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Vegetarian, whoo. When he says vegetable don't get even close to it. It's not only stay away from from it, don't get close to it, or to anything that will make you think of it can hear him no one don't most of this suspicion. In Ababa, one measly sum of suspicion is a sin. So that's one and then what are the justice we don't spy? We talked about that. Don't spy, look at the phone, even if it's your children, let alone your husband, or your wife.

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Don't. And then when I asked about Baba, do not back back to each other. And this is one of the few orders in the Quran that Allah forwarded by an example, an ugly example.

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I had what had occurred yet got a meter for carry.

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Do you love do you like to eat the flesh of a dead person? And Allah immediately answered, which is very few times he answered *ery to me, you don't like it you hated meaning. What do you do?

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Why don't you do

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and just before I forget about so on, so on to Sam was in janazah going to the graveyard for to bury a deceased person, and then they buried him and then they came back. And he heard them two of the Sahaba saying something negative about the deceased.

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He didn't say anything, he walked. Right. And then he looked at the side of the road, there was a dead animal, a dead goat. He looked at both of them and he said go and eat from it.

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And Rosco loss and the Sahaba said, ya know, so long dead. And he said You already ate

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you already ate what is the beauty?

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Such Tinubu don't do it.

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So Backbiting is is a major sin.

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That's there's something really we all need to bring back to our life. What is a major sin? Give me an example. Other than this one? Major.

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Exactly. Fornication, having marital relations having an intimate relation outside marriage. Whoa. Right. Backbiting is the same.

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What other majors

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killing major sin stealing major sin

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lining major sin? I'm sorry, you said some

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hip being hypocrite.

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Well, that's definitely that's your full human and Mila should

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major sins right

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Think of your life things that you can't allow

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eating pork,

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drinking blood,

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alcohol. All these are major sins. You say, if I asked you to drink alcohol, what are you gonna do?

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What are you gonna look at me and says, What is who do you think I am? Right? It's an insult for a Muslim woman practicing Muslim or and practicing Muslim men, that what do you think of right?

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It's the same Backbiting is the same. And look how common

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So it's a major sin. That's not something we really all need to learn. It's a major sin, mentioning anyone. When they are not present in something they don't like. Hello, them. And the reason why they sought to say I was asked, What about if it's true? Because we all say that.

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She is mean, well guess what she is me.

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Is that backbiting? As either yes. No, or I don't know.

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100 Allah.

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No, it absolutely yes. On Air. So a lot he was asked Melvin, what is backbiting? He said that the crew Catholica Micra be my Accra. You mentioned your brother or sister something they don't want. It said your Rasul Allah, Allah eater in kind of heat. It's true. Honor that because I tap that you have back button.

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And if it is not true, that's a slander

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on the heater. What is the standard punishment?

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You know, what standard?

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Your standard is you accused someone in their own honor. And and the punishment for it is 80 lashes in public. It's a shorter to newer read your Quran isn't the first page of sorts.

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But pocket Bhutan, if I say something about somebody and it is not a true,

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then that's Bhutan. I need to be I need to be slashed in public.

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Is that clear? I hope so.

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And whether you mentioned the way they look, the way they act, the way they speak anything in them. That is not pleasant.

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And how often is this?

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What about? I didn't see it. But I was there.

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I can see it. I don't. I'm usually very quiet.

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But I was there. And they were talking.

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You're so quiet today.

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I don't know what it's gone. I think it's the subject. Right?

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So I didn't, I didn't even open my mouth. I was quiet all gathering.

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But they were backbiting and there is the first question I got it was about the subject.

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So the person who's listening to the Backbiting is he or she accountable? I want to hear it. Absolutely. Yes. Cherie COVID, his apartment of his apartment.

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So what should I do? And this often happens, not the usual, one of the toughest time. I don't know if you have any older person in your family. Maybe it could be your grandma, your mom. And then you come and sit with them and they don't like somebody in the family and the whole sitting is talking about that person.

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So what do you do? If you are in that gathering and people are backbiting you have three options. There is no fourth Bismillah

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number one before don't go to the easy one. Number one defend that person.

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Defend that person.

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Right? No, I don't think so. I haven't seen this. Or maybe you don't know them what? My experience is completely different. You're different than the two. I can do this the continued.

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Praise them.

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Praise them. I'm sorry. Praise them is change the subject.

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That's easier. Change the subject. They're talking about liking and you're their message Oh did you hear

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say something and incident something happened? Change the subject. Third, if you cannot do these two, then you leave. I always say this go and do the longest will do in your life.

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If you're a gathering of like excuse me to go the bathroom, go and stay there or go to the kitchen

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To help the lady

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just move away because as long as you are there then you are part of it. And the last one is Auto Service. This one is very nice and hands on Hassan says my hammer will mean when will underpin your any whosoever defended someone from a hypocrite who is picking up on him or her. Look what will happen on the Day of Judgment. Whomsoever defended somebody from a hypocrite who is speaking on him or her. Allah subhanaw taala on the Day of Judgment will send an Angel to protect his or her skin from the Hellfire

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because this is a principle in this game, the beautiful Deen we have is they always tell you a desert or Indian cinema, the reward or the punishment is very much similar to what we are doing.

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So is the same so I protected somebody's back Allah or send an Angel to protect me and how much I need an angel there

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to protect people defend them, or if you don't like that person, you know what, just leave.

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If you can defend them just leave, but definitely don't be part of it. Now, the most important question, why do we backbite

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Bismillah is fine part causes? Think of it so nobody in this room Mashallah. Tawana Kalon all this form is angels or angels, and they've never done it before. They've never been in a gathering where people back so why do we backbite

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Exactly. To make myself look better indirectly is what I put her down and I am indirectly praising myself.

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And this comes from

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So usually I say something negative about especially when you say I will do biller

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May Allah protect us, or indirectly praising yourself?

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too. So number one is I want to praise myself number two, yes.

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will kind of come to the street or playing the victim, okay. But there's more important.

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Anyone, what's happens when you're angry?

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Nothing martial law, you're all alone. They all run the class and we're going to sing any word we're going to do. And if you're standing, you're listening.

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You're allowed. Anger is the biggest one. When you get upset, you start seeing things. Especially when you get upset with someone.

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When you get upset with someone, and you immediately pick up the phone on your friend, or you pick up the phone on your sister, right? And so I need to vent

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and the vent is all backbiting from a tizzy

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at etc. So anger is number two, number three.

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To fit in with people, this especially for the youth to fit in. Right? So they are talking about somebody you're coming, you want to be their friends, you're gonna have me with them. So you start talking, oh, yeah, I know, oh, this is nothing, I don't know what and even good number of times it leads to lying. It's not real. So to fit in with people, I want to be like them. So whatever they're doing, I'm going to be doing number four. Jealousy, jealousy.

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When you are jealous from someone,

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the best way is to put them down. The best way to put them down is actually to back by them, because you're talking negative about them. So we have jealousy, look at the same obstacles. One leads to another one. So we have jealousy. We have anger, we have to elevate myself, which basically is arrogance. And to fit in why attachment to people to impress people show off for five. And everybody saved this one. Like I didn't mean it there. I was joking.

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And my answer to myself, I'm sorry, you said it.

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You said once it comes out I'm going to be asked about it.

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I say this to myself. Yes. Or after the women are alone. Remember last week? I say the word Astra saw they sort of said we're going to be asked about what we say. And what did he say to him? What did he say to

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Remember last week? What did he say?

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He said the colors calm, okay, and what had made your mother more neutral, what else would put the people on their faces and the Hellfire other than the harvest of their tongue, anything comes out that is it's written.

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The only way that that what is written to be changed is to do more good deeds, it by say it has an attempt to follow a bad deed with a good deed, it will be removed and aggravated. So think of yourself. It's very hard. It's one of the hardest things, sometimes

00:30:39--> 00:31:25

it's even hard to tell people that you are backbiting because they all be on your head. What did we say? Nothing. We didn't mean at all. It's true. I mean, you get all these excuses. Yes. Curiosity. Do you personally think that backbiting can be acceptable? In some situations? It's coming? Yes, there is fine. Where Backbiting is allowed, but with limitation, but definitely it is absolutely worth coming in. So what do I do? Now we'll come to the treatment. I always say this. So we are we now know the problem. We know the disease and headache. So what do I do? Because the protec Tylenol Megalon da europea. Right. And again, I say to my patients, unless I know what is the problem, I

00:31:25--> 00:31:36

can't help you. So now I know the problem. The problem is called that Biting is a major problem or a minor problem. Major, huge, or major lesson huge,

00:31:37--> 00:31:38


00:31:39--> 00:31:43

with so many use, right? Huge. What do I do?

00:31:45--> 00:31:46

I'm sorry?

00:31:48--> 00:31:56

Well, we're going to come to what how I make it up for the person I'm seeing now what do I do for me not to backbite?

00:31:58--> 00:32:14

Then I will say well, I already did it? What should I do? But now let's say I know I am going to a gathering. I'm going out for a walk with friends. Somebody is going to call me and I am so worried now I learned that I am going to back away What should I do?

00:32:16--> 00:32:22

Number one, remember this, I hope if you remember nothing, just remember this. What is this?

00:32:24--> 00:32:30

The lens which lens lens of Allah, everything has to go through it

00:32:31--> 00:33:12

should remember more. That's the tough one that we all talk about. That's what a stucco the word we all know very well. And if we throw it right and left, it's a shield from the anger of Allah. So if I remember him, I shielded myself from his anger, meaning I'm not going to speak and this is why we all have a responsibility. Because when I remind you that I'm reminding you of Allah, I'm not reminding you of the person. I'm reminding you, what are you doing to yourself in front of Allah. So be grateful when someone tells you don't do it. This is backbiting de la owl. She said two he said.

00:33:13--> 00:33:21

So number one, remember was pantile the best way of not yawning which will never fail, never fail.

00:33:24--> 00:33:25

Which is very difficult to do.

00:33:28--> 00:33:55

Stay quiet. Don't talk. The more quiet you are, the less possibility you will backlight. Some they say remember a lot. And then remember, this is something you have to remind yourself before you read what is the sequence of it. And remember that that flush. Remember the Hadith I just shared with you then flush, change the subject, talk about something good.

00:33:56--> 00:34:09

If you talk about something good, that's not going to be backed by doing something good. And stay away from the people who their natural habit. Their habit is backbiting.

00:34:10--> 00:34:20

Don't be with them because you won't be like them, they will influence me and you and we always are the people who are a source of hunger.

00:34:23--> 00:34:27

What are the excuses? They said concessions for backbiting. Bismillah

00:34:29--> 00:34:36

now I want to hear from you. That is concessions. There's there's times when it is allowed. You Bismil

00:34:38--> 00:34:49

marriage, of course everybody's gonna be happy. What does marriage mean? So every marriage then half of the society are backbiting because all of them are so what do you mean by marriage?

00:34:51--> 00:34:54

You're right, but can you explain it what?

00:34:57--> 00:34:59

So it is not the only marriage when someone is

00:35:00--> 00:35:01

ask you for recommendation.

00:35:03--> 00:35:10

Recommendation, you need a handyman, you need an electrician, you need a physician, you need

00:35:12--> 00:35:42

anything, including there is a proposal for your son or your daughter, or you are asking, you're the one who's being proposed to, and you're asking someone, so I'm gonna give you them. And then I have to put limits to this because that's not an open ticket. It's not an open invitation, say whatever you want to say. And I'll give you an example. Remind me of the example of I forget, because it was about marriage. So number one is recommendation. Someone is asking you how was your painter?

00:35:43--> 00:35:45

And the painter did a lousy job.

00:35:46--> 00:35:49

Right, so you're gonna say, I will not hire him again.

00:35:51--> 00:35:53

That message is clear.

00:35:54--> 00:35:58

So number one, recommendation number two? Yes.

00:36:04--> 00:36:07

No, why do you abide by them?

00:36:09--> 00:36:21

I have. Good. That's that's excuse for lining. That's an excuse for lining. But what is another excuse for backbiting? concession is not an excuse. It's a concession you're allowed to?

00:36:23--> 00:36:23


00:36:26--> 00:36:56

Exactly. Yes. Warning, someone warning someone which comes with a recommendation. You warn somebody from something like for example, you see to friends, and you know, that friend, is really bad influence on that person. Or they are literally literally really planning something to hurt them, you know, what you see, but you know, when we are inside the things, we don't see it, then yes, you go and say it

00:36:57--> 00:36:59

because you are protecting that person.

00:37:00--> 00:37:08

And but you really have to always ask yourself, why are you saying it and I'm gonna come to the Yanni the the

00:37:11--> 00:37:19

the limits on what we say. So number one is recommendation number two is protection. Number three,

00:37:20--> 00:37:21

I'm sorry.

00:37:22--> 00:37:53

complaining to a judge complaining to the lawyer. Right. And that's where the marriage comes in. Right. So you have somebody who transgressed against you whether in marriage, whether in business, whether in anything, right, somebody transplants, you and they are not there, they take your affidavit, as they say, then they're going to tell you what happened. And you're going to say this would happen. So in case of a Muslim with a quote when somebody did injustice for you, that's number three. Number four.

00:37:55--> 00:37:58

This is the same thing oppress oppression for

00:38:01--> 00:38:01


00:38:10--> 00:38:18

Okay, we'll put this just on the side remind me but there's one more important one because people think it is backbiting. It is not backbiting at all.

00:38:21--> 00:38:22

You're defending yourself?

00:38:26--> 00:38:27

I can't hear you.

00:38:30--> 00:38:45

Yeah, who would advice this is what it is advice from somebody else, identifying somebody. So let's say the in the room, and I was saying there's a three sellers in the room, and somebody is telling me which saw I don't know how to name her last name, but the shorts one

00:38:46--> 00:39:04

or the tall one, right? Or the one who walks with it with a with a special walk. I am not backbiting and identifying her. Did you see that? And your language, the way you say it, and your face will witness in what's the intention

00:39:06--> 00:39:14

is that you're identifying that person, or you're actually putting them down? Oh, the short one. versus you know, the one that's not very tall.

00:39:16--> 00:39:45

So it's the way to identifying someone, number one. Number one is to change an evil to change any evil. You say it, and don't be scared Subhanallah these are the concessions I gave you. We rarely do it. Because we are so scared. But we do everything else. Am I correct? Subhan Allah Subhanallah Allah reminded me this was I was there actually, this was to shoot.

00:39:46--> 00:39:53

And I was in that gathering and the woman came in to ask the chef about a man proposal.

00:39:55--> 00:39:58

And he wanted to tell her something negative about that man

00:39:59--> 00:39:59

and look at

00:40:00--> 00:40:00

It said,

00:40:02--> 00:40:08

he said he comes from a country that the people of the country very well known for their temper.

00:40:09--> 00:40:10

What is he saying?

00:40:11--> 00:40:45

The man has a temper. But look at the way I learned my lesson. This is like 20 years ago. So it is how you say it. And what is your intention? Don't, don't volunteer information, negative and put people down. That's absolutely backbiting. Wait, they ask you, they ask you, unless you are warning them, you see it your warning that you see then you do it. But now let's get to the parameters. The minimum needed information

00:40:47--> 00:41:10

can literally tell a lie I always remind myself Allah forgive me, I am not Angel. It took a laugh here is you say it with the minimum required information that serves the purpose, not on and on. That's why I told you anger is one of the biggest reasons because once we are angry, we can keep talking and talking and we seen a woman upset with her husband.

00:41:12--> 00:41:28

What is or upset with her child is way too much beyond the limit. The last one that there is no backbiting they say a mudra and ruble Marcia, the person who's facile the person who is openly disobey Allah.

00:41:29--> 00:41:31

Openly disobey Allah then you're not backbiting them.

00:41:32--> 00:41:34

Openly disobey Allah,

00:41:35--> 00:42:06

then you're not backbiting them. And that's actually also they're openly about disobeying Allah, you need to warn the people. You don't want the people to be with them in front of them. So let's let's cap it. What are the concessions? Number one injustice. I go to the lawyer I am in a court and someone they say it's my neighbor. And they really hurted me on and on and on. So what is the instead of saying well they opened the window they look and we go oh our say they don't respect my privacy

00:42:07--> 00:42:12

then message has been delivered. Right? They're very loud in the night.

00:42:14--> 00:42:30

That minimum that will serve the purpose so injustice, change and evil seek legal ruling. This is for marriage. I always one woman comes to me I say I want to divorce I was like why do you want to divorce

00:42:32--> 00:43:14

well we need to work this to what divorce is halal, but it's not the the most beloved things to understand and but it's allowed what is it? Is there a ground that's why is there a ground floor? So she will take your opinion should I seek divorce should I seek to divorce and say what is the issue and then you keep literally look at it this way keep keep her in the battles keep her look exactly like that. Like when when a baby is walking and you know, the baby will fall you go by Have you seen that? Like the the parents walk behind the baby and hold him or her so they don't fall? Same way was like, okay, okay, we don't need to go more on this what else? So she seeking legal warn against evil

00:43:14--> 00:43:25

identification and an open center. Somebody who disobeyed Allah and publicly publicly, they put their pictures on social media with all the disobedience of Allah

00:43:27--> 00:43:32

pots. Now, I did it. What should I do?

00:43:33--> 00:43:34

What should I

00:43:36--> 00:43:38

done? I sent the book.

00:43:39--> 00:44:12

What should I do? Think of two things. Number one, you have I have violated the rights of Allah number one. And I have violated the rights of the person himself or herself. So there's two here. When we sin, there says between me and Allah, and there says between me and Allah and He will be remember the three books I shared with you. You don't remember or one moment have not very good memory. Right? I have, I'll remind you, that's because you don't write. If you don't write, you will not learn.

00:44:13--> 00:44:20

I will warn you that when they tell you the first step in learning is writing. And number two

00:44:25--> 00:44:50

memorizing repetition, practicing, learning, teaching, we all jumped at teaching. So writing you have to write you have to write write and read your writing, or politics in the book read in the book. Remember the hadith is say the Haitian reported that we have we're going to have three books or three chapters. Do you remember now or no? Like, maybe I didn't see it and he

00:44:52--> 00:44:59

didn't okay Hamlet, please forgive me. I teach auto verse. I don't know where I said it. It's probably in the other class like so.

00:45:00--> 00:45:11

Let's say that I showed you that there will be no in the law he said that the books will hola me when I go to las pantallas. And when you will be each one of us, there will be three chapters in the book or there will be three books.

00:45:12--> 00:45:16

One chapter, Allah does not care about whatsoever.

00:45:18--> 00:45:21

One chapter, Allah will never forgive.

00:45:22--> 00:45:26

And one chapter Allah will not leave any detail in it.

00:45:27--> 00:45:34

Memorize this one chapter, Allah does not care about you will be so surprised when you notice.

00:45:35--> 00:45:45

First one he doesn't care, meaning he can forgive it all. Second, nothing will be left from it. Meaning every single detail third,

00:45:47--> 00:45:51

will never forgive. So let's start with the will never forgive which you should all know

00:45:53--> 00:45:53


00:45:55--> 00:46:18

associate associating and God was Allah Allah says in the Quran in Allah Allah Pharaoh, are you sure? Kabhi ALLAH does not forgive period period. We always use this one we dictate in medical reports period meaning full stop, it's not gonna change. He never forget. Never forget which one he will care less about. Can't forget can't forgive it all.

00:46:19--> 00:46:21

You know, you'll be so surprised

00:46:24--> 00:46:35

how Korcula the rights of Allah Salah was so young. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm looking at your faces. What? Yeah, he can absolutely forgive it.

00:46:36--> 00:46:45

Have Korcula things that's only between me and Allah. Only between me and him. There's no human being in and between, he can absolutely forget.

00:46:46--> 00:46:56

In Allaha la fu I used to beat way up to zero Medora Dalek and Omar can forgive anything he wants. The one that he will not leave a single detail of it.

00:46:57--> 00:47:00

How Porco labored the rights of people.

00:47:01--> 00:47:11

So when I backbite I have violated both the half Allah that He can forgive, but the health of the person that's the problem.

00:47:12--> 00:47:17

Nana young litre quinoa shake. So what should I do?

00:47:18--> 00:47:20

The problem is there already

00:47:23--> 00:47:32

literally, this is the worst class I have seen. Secure so with me so shy to speak.

00:47:33--> 00:48:13

Can Can we finish this and I'll get the question. So what should I do I backed by I said something negative about what should I do? Think of it this way you will never forget it nila, number one the right of Allah. So I need to do what? ask Allah for forgiveness and tilbyr hamdulillah ask Allah for forgiveness and ask Allah to open up to do it again. Is the problem with backbiting. It's not a one time incident. It's continuous. So number one with Allahu Allah please forgive me helped me. Zipit helped me not to speak, move away from me. People who make backbiting beautiful, make me weaker. Now come to the problem.

00:48:14--> 00:48:16

Come to the problem of that person.

00:48:19--> 00:48:26

Allahu Allah not forgive, unless he will not forgive the right of that person unless that person forgive his right.

00:48:29--> 00:48:36

So what should I do? Yeah, we're in big trouble, huge shift. I'm telling you, so what should we do?

00:48:38--> 00:48:52

So here you go. Three options, three options. If you can name and put a lot of if you can. If you can ask forgiveness from that person, do it.

00:48:53--> 00:48:57

Do it. And sometimes the forgiveness is general.

00:48:58--> 00:49:10

To make it less an issue please forgive me if I have if I have said or done anything. That torching 100 And you should have the choices. Don't worry. Don't worry, nothing in my heart against you.

00:49:12--> 00:49:22

So ask first, if you think by asking is going to create even more problems and don't open your mouth? What should you do?

00:49:23--> 00:49:29

Make to ask for that person in their absence, same way.

00:49:30--> 00:49:57

We talked about them negative in their absence, I am going to make dua for them in their absence. Make this dua especially for Friday Juma in our offer, that's your Lord whomsoever I have hurted. I have violated their rights. I had back biting them your lot and I make a dua that I make it for myself all the time seeing so you make it too hard from third

00:50:01--> 00:50:04

defend them and praise them in public.

00:50:06--> 00:50:46

Because you back by them, you spoke negative about them in public, you praise them in public. So praise them, defend them make dua for praise them and defend them. Make it all out for them and ask for forgiveness. And this is why in case you wonder, when when we talk about stuff all the time, we say our Swati saw it in one gathering the Sahaba counted 70 times he asked Allah for forgiveness, and another narration 100 thumbs are swearing so to sum because we don't know who remember what I said this morning. Do you remember last week What about last year

00:50:47--> 00:51:25

but it's all written man if you don't encode it in another day here or table he or she does not utter a word of me saying you know the day here or three when it that was that this was sort of they have roughly been a kid and they say this is the names of the angel or their description rotate observer Wahid mighty, that octave is on the right and the Mighty is on the left. So let's start this says blessed days. This is I am on mobile water, as you are making dua for yourself making dua for your parents making dua for your children, making dua for make a dua for the Ummah,

00:51:26--> 00:51:51

for the womb of his standard Allah bring us back to the where we were to give dignity to this woman to give victory to this woman and to change the Muslims number one change me before I think of anybody and make dua to Allah, anyone in my life, I violated them violated their rights, even if they live late in mind. It's not an excuse.

00:51:52--> 00:52:11

It's not an excuse if they back bitten me I go and back by them then we are equal. What is the difference? It's a sin. It's a sin. Right? You notice having a photo Suarez autostrada an article Mark told me not the one who killed and the one who was killed both are in Jana. Do you know that?

00:52:12--> 00:52:26

They said you're so Allah, the one who killed Okay, obvious he killed but why the one who was killed is in Johanna. He said because if he was not killed, he would have killed

00:52:30--> 00:52:34

you know what I call Islam. Islam as a dean of prevention.

00:52:35--> 00:52:36

There's not a dean of treatment.

00:52:37--> 00:53:29

We focus a lot on the treatment. We don't focus on the prevention, prevention. So ask Allah subhanaw taala to make your tongue as almost patata said in the verse of salt and Lisa Lowry, Rafi, Kathy Remmina Juwan. There is not goodness in majority of what they say. This is an ALA except three things. Three things Elam and Amara B sada who enjoined sadaqa charity, charity, not necessarily only money, charity, help people to give to the giver to volunteer to do things for others, it will have an AMA Bisola, cutting Allah aloof, something good that is one known hour is slow handling numbness, or you say things to bring people together. Closer. That's the only three things in saying

00:53:30--> 00:53:31

everything else is not tight.

00:53:33--> 00:53:37

If you you know what? Sometimes I say to myself, I wish I can record myself.

00:53:39--> 00:54:02

Literally being caught myself. And when I'm speaking natural when I'm speaking giving lectures in general with people and I need to listen to it because they're afraid has already written and see it and hear it and see how many of what I what, how many of what I said, I wish I did not say it. I wish I can change it. And the answer is

00:54:04--> 00:54:07

we can't. Once it's out. It is up to

00:54:08--> 00:54:30

the last but very quickly because we're almost at a time is what is near Mima and NEMA was pumped out of the Quran amazzing Masha in Bina Nene and nema. There is no word to translate in English is when you when you hear someone saying something about somebody, you go and tell that person you don't know what she said about

00:54:31--> 00:54:33

when you say when you say the name.

00:54:35--> 00:54:45

So, let's say Fatima met Sarah and Fawlty was said to saw something negative backbiting about a hadith.

00:54:46--> 00:54:51

Then Surah goes to Hadith and says you don't know what Altima said about that's an agreement.

00:54:53--> 00:54:57

And this is worse actually. Why? Worse than backbiting?

00:54:59--> 00:54:59

Allah does

00:55:00--> 00:55:15

Describe them in sort of a magazine mushiya hillbilly meme. He walks with minima. And his face is all about backbiting that he doesn't say things but his face, put people down. Why this is worse?

00:55:16--> 00:55:44

Because we are creating hatred between people. Imagine you come and tell me You said something about when I see what is going to be in my heart. What is going to be in your heart and I'm not Angel, I'm going to be affected. So if you want to warn someone, from somebody don't mention the name. Say the people close to you. Some people have the very that you trust that he will be careful. Be careful.

00:55:46--> 00:56:27

And so again, when you want to warn us the best words the best way, the best form, inshallah hamdulillahi rabbil aalameen. We finished very well. On time I'm so happy. It's a Kamala Harris Pantalon more behind the cache. I don't like the highlights and stuff we will cover today so long as what Ali he was happy just in case here a couple of announcements from us. This is the last one or one minute we had was pantalla give you the Western days gives you the best out of their last handout on interest only next year you're on there. You're Vianney May Allah give you the best, most beautiful aid and it's inshallah Saturday. Each one of you without exception.

00:56:28--> 00:56:33

I hope that my center will not be unhappy with you need to attend salatu

00:56:34--> 00:57:15

salam ala sooner more on campus for the woman including those who are mistreating the exception he made it is for Allah Suarez lottosend He said all of you go out including those who are during menstruation or bleeding after childbirth, but let them be in the back. So if you are coming here for the Salah, those of you who are though the woman who are during that time they be in the back and they listen to the football. So make sure you attend handling of oral massages they're making it many times or themselves making it more than once. So attend the football aid is a day of celebration there soon in the aid of this aid. Who knows what the sooner decide.

00:57:17--> 00:57:57

Of course, the clearer it usually when you drive you come from a way and you go back in another way. That's how he did Alice so follow resuscitate the Sunova rassada Santosa so you drive and handle there's always different ways to drive one way and go back another way you eat after zasada not before Lasala in the read of Ramadan you eat before the Salah, but this one you eat after the sauna, if you are was pantalla allowed you to make it okay, that automatically the sacrifice we need to eat from it. Part of it and enjoy it. The day of eight is a day of celebration. But it's not a day of disobedience.

00:57:59--> 00:58:06

Please when you come to the masjid I have to say this because you're a beautiful community when you come to the masjid. No, this is the house of

00:58:08--> 00:58:18

the rest what pleasant with pleases Allah, even if it is it is extremely important. I say this to myself if I get invited to a dignitary place

00:58:19--> 00:58:23

and they say it is black tie. Do you go with your jeans?

00:58:25--> 00:58:26

No. Why?

00:58:27--> 00:59:14

Why? It's a requirement. So when I come to the house of Allah, it's at celebrate, I should because that's what he wants me to do, but celebrate in the way that pleases. Contrast modesty. And I have to say it is Allah knows when I will meet you again. Don't put perfume in the masjid. There is absolutely Hadith about that. Clear one, don't perfume yourself and come to the masjid and dress modestly cover to ensure your beauty if you're not yet Insha Allah, Allah who all of you not yet ALLAH blessed you with covering your hair, cover it in the masjid. You have to come in the masjid with this or, and see with Allah who will give you a lot of yoga when you enter and you have this or

00:59:15--> 00:59:49

what you feel in your Sudan, what you see is very different. And woman changes. This is how I see woman who changed society. And I'm not bragging I'm not a feminist, but I have seen it because if you change your children changes, and that's how society changes. So I don't want to say exactly now because people take it in. I think it's a harsh way but do it in a way he put a light in front of you before you leave that day you're home, coming to the masjid and ask yourself one question. I do this all the time. Are you happy with me?

00:59:50--> 00:59:55

I don't care what other people say. And if he if you hear it, yes, that content

00:59:57--> 00:59:59

and also the interaction interaction with you

01:00:00--> 01:00:07

each other the hot word don't speak hold was part of the solder the problem was definitely out of eight is the hot boys after

01:00:08--> 01:00:26

and very common the moment is at Santa Monica everybody started talking Santa is a hot was part of a sudden you chopped it you know what I am saying and do the best and then after what do you enjoy it it's aid absolutely enjoying the flying

01:00:27--> 01:01:08

can have fun again in the way that please Alma and may Allah subhanaw taala give me give us life to live to that day and then do everything in that they that pleases Oh no, this is our last class so I definitely have to make this a statement may Allah reward everyone in Raha center for trusting me personally engineers to teach the woman of the community may Allah reward everyone will make it very easy and I definitely the president of my center memory what Brother as you all have seen him helped a lot and everything may Allah your sister Gabby in the back always greeting you. I know she carries the masks also but she has to and also she had bottled waters for you so it may not be worth them.

01:01:08--> 01:01:54

Look at this beautiful place be grateful to the name of Allah by number one coming by doing things that pleases Allah inside and you'll see the baraka comes out of this place. Last but not the least those of you who are fasting may Allah reward that can refer center there is dates and water they arranged for us chart on my right horizon in the break room in the back and this is beautiful. Because and Landis is poor son when you make whether food or a date it doesn't matter because the Hadith says even if it's a sip of water, you prepared for a person who's fasting even if you are not you will get the reward of his fast without anything less of his reward to himself or herself. So

01:01:54--> 01:02:16

may Allah reward again next week you will have no class the week after inshallah who will be in icoi and we will be doing mother and daughter the 19th of July then we'll take a break because I'm not going to be in town in August will start another series inshallah we will get the announcement where it's gonna be and the time and date and everything it's going to be about Muslims what do we believe?

01:02:17--> 01:02:27

What do we believe because these days and age everything is online so confusing. May Allah help you ally look at the UNSC may Allah have any question

01:02:29--> 01:02:34

I'm sure that is can I start with the most beautiful young lady called the SME yes

01:02:38--> 01:02:43

yes I'm talking I'm gonna say it back again so everybody can hear it so yes, I'm talking about bad lighting

01:02:55--> 01:02:58

so I can't talk about somebody to teach them like what's

01:03:00--> 01:03:11

not in front of them saying whatever you want to say if you have the courage say but my advice don't do it because that's going to create more problems don't go to somebody says you are me. That's not nice.

01:03:12--> 01:03:14

But don't say behind their back is that's also

01:03:17--> 01:03:18

I can't tell you

01:03:20--> 01:03:27

to the person in front of their face your weed What do you think should we say it or not?

01:03:28--> 01:03:33

So yes, we say maybe anybody? Can I say look at him says you're weird

01:03:37--> 01:03:48

What did the Roswaal is AutoSum The first advice I shared with you call hierarchy law enforcement say good or stay quiet is telling you you're weird is a good thing

01:03:53--> 01:03:58

hamdulillah Allah teach us all any question yes. If you had a question

01:04:00--> 01:04:07

if we if we can put the I'm sorry but if there is questions online please put it on the screen also. So we have yeah

01:04:13--> 01:04:16

yes, so if you heard someone ask for forgiveness always

01:04:19--> 01:04:49

if that person not to make a lot of DUA and charity for them. If that person is not aligned there still you can do they need a lot of good deeds. So make dua for them do charity on their behalf. What else you can find what else like if I die? Please make sure you do dua go hatch for me. Difficult for Umbra give charity please do. I'll be very happy. Don't worry about asking my forgiveness. They will stop it. Yeah, because the people in the person die cannot or she or he cannot do any more do

01:04:50--> 01:04:53

any good deeds. Yes, yes.

01:04:56--> 01:04:59

So about marriage backbiting. Yes.

01:05:00--> 01:05:14

So somebody so the woman comes to me right and she says I want to get a divorce. Why do you want to get a divorce and she starts talking and stuff about her husband. That's a lot of she said for example, you can see it in one word, not gentle.

01:05:16--> 01:05:26

Not gentle versus he does this and that isn't so minimum that serves the purpose. Any other question? Yes, go ahead Absolutely.

01:05:28--> 01:05:29

Mention that there's

01:05:30--> 01:05:36

there's one doesn't forgive and that's surely not sure I'm sorry. But what

01:05:37--> 01:05:37


01:05:41--> 01:05:58

how can a bad usually are Muslims to start with, but also Allah that does not give me the permission to hurt the non Muslims at all, at all, but especially it's more emphasized on the Muslim but definitely like my neighbor, customer, non Muslims, my neighbor.

01:05:59--> 01:06:04

Period. I have I always say this to myself. I have no right to hurt anyone.

01:06:05--> 01:06:44

Have I done it? Of course do we all do with Yes, but I he didn't. He did not allow me. I have violated his best way I violated his right. Question. Are you still rewarded for reciting the Kenema Tauheed? What I'm just gonna put on the screen. Are you still bewildered by the reason for reciting the collimated O'Hagan that night along with the old national incident when entering an Islamic market or stands for non static market for any market when saleable see number one Number one they were both Muslim Sahabi companion when they entered the market the market of course it's a Muslim market the reason in the market because people get

01:06:46--> 01:06:53

distracted because you look at it to say oh, how much can I buy? Let me try who thinks of Allah your mom?

01:06:54--> 01:07:01

And yeah, unless mashallah so yes, you know, markets in Muslim or non Muslim. Okay, any other question?

01:07:02--> 01:07:03


01:07:07--> 01:07:12

Someone asks me, like, the public comes up with this person.

01:07:13--> 01:07:14

Can you can

01:07:15--> 01:07:21

ask me, What's your recommendation, but like something about someone like if I met someone

01:07:23--> 01:07:27

like that, like, parents, my friend, and I don't have anything

01:07:28--> 01:07:41

positive to say what should I do? Okay, so that's a good question. So somebody, I went for an interview, let's say a friend, she says a friend and I come home and mom says How was your friend? While I have nothing good to say about?

01:07:43--> 01:07:46

What's your life say? That's a very good question. What should I say?

01:07:48--> 01:07:51

I'm sorry. I can't just do that

01:07:56--> 01:07:58

what I have been saying for an hour

01:08:03--> 01:08:07

once what should you say? It's very good question actually. May Allah the word

01:08:10--> 01:08:10

what should I say?

01:08:15--> 01:08:16


01:08:18--> 01:08:27

learn something they call it the Tyree Alomar real? It's a it's a very well known Islamic concept, where you answer indirectly.

01:08:29--> 01:08:44

Right. So there was one very pious man, and he likes to be alone. So people knock on the door to ask him questions on his house. So he tells the member of his family, tell them ask for him in the masjid.

01:08:47--> 01:08:47

Did you get it?

01:08:49--> 01:09:00

Did you get it? Ask for him in the movie messaging, meaning. He didn't say I'm not in the house. He said if you want him, ask for him in the masjid.

01:09:01--> 01:09:13

He didn't say I'm not in the house. He's not dying. So learn how to say things indirectly, in the writing handled in them. Now the problem you know where or somebody doesn't accept that handle?

01:09:14--> 01:09:26

Right as like so what does that mean? Now I'm in big trouble. Right? They were okay. About that. They were okay. Okay, is is a nice word.

01:09:27--> 01:09:29

Or it's about biting.

01:09:30--> 01:09:31

It's okay.

01:09:32--> 01:09:40

Neutral. So always try a neutral way if the general did not work, yes.

01:09:42--> 01:09:46

Okay, what do you do? Let me put this, talking about politics.

01:09:47--> 01:09:56

Now, talking about politics, this is on the line question any civilization and blaming any country does fall in the category of backbiting?

01:09:58--> 01:09:59

Who said of course not

01:10:00--> 01:10:10

So you talk about the President is not doesn't fall under mentioning person who is not there in their absence.

01:10:11--> 01:10:12

Except what?

01:10:14--> 01:10:15


01:10:16--> 01:10:38

Exactly. If it's something public, something public, they don't speak when they speak vulgar language, right? public, public public knowledge, you see, you're right. But more and more and more. And this is why talking about politics, you know, you always wonder everybody talks about what is going to change?

01:10:40--> 01:10:46

Nothing. Exactly half of the people who talks about things don't go and vote. What is the point?

01:10:47--> 01:10:55

The only way you change things is my actions. Right? Or they don't pick up the phone their senators or their congress people and then

01:10:56--> 01:11:01

bring their their concerns. So politics, that was an answer. Like there's another one.

01:11:04--> 01:11:09

A question is waiting headphones to block out backbiting? Why don't question

01:11:12--> 01:11:16

my mother gets mad at me. I can't see it.

01:11:18--> 01:11:24

This is really annoying. This is annoying, because the people look at it as lack of

01:11:25--> 01:11:31

respect. When you do this, look at it. So you can feel it when you're talking and I do this.

01:11:32--> 01:11:33

What do you feel?

01:11:35--> 01:11:36

What do you feel?

01:11:37--> 01:11:42

You can show upset? I do this? You're talking? You're talking to me and I do this?

01:11:45--> 01:11:55

So I know there's a three ways somebody's backbiting change, the subject is different the person who they are backbiting or leave to say I'm sorry mom, I have to go and do something.

01:11:57--> 01:12:01

Or if it is your mom, change them. Mom This is backbiting

01:12:03--> 01:12:19

the one woman they will not say it in front of you again really I tried it it worked it's work what am I it does it does just the first time so your work please make me say make me say it in a nice way. And Camilla but again with the people you know not with everybody

01:12:20--> 01:12:21

that's gonna be hard.

01:12:24--> 01:12:28

Time what advice to give for a new Muslim Allah any new Muslim in the crowd?

01:12:31--> 01:12:39

New Muslim anybody? What do you give for the new Muslim advice? First thing I say? I don't know if you've heard it from me. You're mocking

01:12:41--> 01:12:43

the new Muslims. I'm jealous that

01:12:45--> 01:12:48

because you are now as your mother gave birth to you.

01:12:49--> 01:13:06

You don't have any baggage. Like I have any we have all of us. That's number one. And number two, to the new Muslims learn Islam. Not for Muslims, how they can behave from the sources. Three Be patient.

01:13:07--> 01:13:29

It's not easy. We are born Muslim and we know how much we are struggling right let alone a new Muslim for take it step by step don't go 500 miles an hour. And that's usually happens with a new Muslims and us when we run the ad set can so quickly and we think everybody is wrong and we are the right people. That's not how he did it very,

01:13:30--> 01:13:39

very gently, very gently. And the most important thing I found Porcelain is the company. Who do you spend your time with?

01:13:41--> 01:14:09

People affect people Allah said into Marsalis AUTOSAR when I told her I'm an alpha knuckleball and the creator, don't obey it, follow Him and be the friend, somebody who's heedless about our remembrance. And for my Muslim sisters make sure you have an annual Muslim friendly they will make you much stronger. Literally they will make you feel like this. I had one of my friends Subhanallah she moved to Chicago.

01:14:11--> 01:14:34

Just invite me what are the breakfast together? Just to learn from sunnah in practice, I would like you all in practice everything she learned she practice Subhanallah What if someone have wronged you badly and you're talking about that at his or her back? What is the name of this?

01:14:35--> 01:14:59

I'm sorry, my beautiful island with deed it's backed by tick. doesn't change. It's hard. But it doesn't change at all. someone hurts you. You know who you go and talk to? Yes. Talk to the sending out Eileen, contact Allah. They are one extremely hot. young mother had violated your

01:15:00--> 01:15:06

be this is getting very difficult on me. What Liliana, if you see it with your heart, you don't know what you will do?

01:15:07--> 01:15:09

Yes, yes.

01:15:11--> 01:15:11

So even

01:15:13--> 01:15:23

if you don't mention a person's name, it's not a leap. It's not a bad bite. If you said somebody did this to me that somebody could be anybody, that's not backbiting is when you mentioned the person name.

01:15:24--> 01:15:33

So that's why I always say, don't mention names. Let's not be a backbiting, right? We went in a gathering. They did. She did. Okay, she did but don't mention her name. Yes.

01:15:35--> 01:15:35

I'm sorry.

01:15:38--> 01:15:43

If they if they can identify by what you are saying into backbiting indirectly.

01:15:44--> 01:15:47

You know, she always you know who we are.

01:15:48--> 01:15:54

Don't do it. Allah knows. And you don't want to eat the flesh of a dead person. Yes.

01:16:01--> 01:16:07

Action, but you mentioned their name. So talking about their action, but you mentioned their name, but But

01:16:09--> 01:16:09


01:16:24--> 01:16:26

Second, I heard part of it.

01:16:28--> 01:16:32

So public figure, public figure in the community.

01:16:40--> 01:16:44

May Allah reward you may have already worked, may Allah reward and protect everyone in the public eye.

01:16:45--> 01:17:03

Because literally, you're putting yourself and your honor, and your family, to chat with you. And people, the easiest thing is to talk. Now, you have to remember, people who call for almost pantalla she will she had teachers, they are human being,

01:17:04--> 01:17:23

they are human being. So they go through tough life. They go through marriage problem, they go their children, not the best, they are human being Satan, no Hassan is Catholic, Saint Abraham, his father is careful, right? They go through something, what is the most common thing they go through? Is their personal life?

01:17:24--> 01:17:30

First question, is that your business? Did they ask for your opinion, then why are you talking about?

01:17:32--> 01:17:54

So now this is falls under so many obstacles, backbiting, publicly? NEMA, talking, three, talking about none of your business, for you're talking about something which is not halal, not allowed, let alone if it is private life, the only time you are allowed, if they did it publicly.

01:17:56--> 01:18:39

In fact, you need to warn people. If they did something public, well known, you've seen it, or there is an investigation, the investigation proved, then you need to warn people but also in the minimum details to go and talk about people in person that aloneness is a sheet or a he or their children. Come on you and us. It took Allah this is what I say. And that's it. Not everybody had their shortcomings. And especially in the community, Oh Allah, Allah, He will I always say Allah. May Allah protect the shield of the community? Because they are like, an easy target. And everybody can they know? And everybody know better than them? Are you going to be a shift than

01:18:42--> 01:18:43

any other question?

01:18:45--> 01:18:46

Yes, yes.

01:18:48--> 01:18:51

showing pictures of videos without

01:18:57--> 01:18:58

say it again.

01:18:59--> 01:19:01

I'm just showing that picture.

01:19:03--> 01:19:04

You're showing a picture of

01:19:05--> 01:19:10

them no matter what it is. Right? Let me just be I'm not gonna say that that person

01:19:11--> 01:19:17

costs $400. But I can just show you a picture of it. And you can deduce for yourself without me actually saying

01:19:18--> 01:19:21

I'm sorry, I didn't I cannot tell you what, yes.

01:19:23--> 01:19:25

A picture of someone or you're showing a picture of someone.

01:19:27--> 01:19:29

Okay, right. So I'm having to say

01:19:30--> 01:19:34

a lot of brand new house. Why are you showing the picture?

01:19:36--> 01:19:57

That's the most important question. Nia, remember what we said intention? Why are you showing your show we say Masha Allah Tabarka Allah so happy for her hamdulillah after 10 years, you know how long he has been looking, let's say for a house that he would not want to bless that with a house. Look at the beauty hamdulillah

01:19:58--> 01:19:59

versus and I don't want to say

01:20:00--> 01:20:00


01:20:02--> 01:20:10

me your intention was cooking in your heart. Remember the word I said last week? Tongue is the spoon or the heart

01:20:11--> 01:20:12

was cooking in there?

01:20:13--> 01:20:16

And second, Do I really have to do that?

01:20:17--> 01:20:52

Is it going to make me blessings wherever I am, is going to serve a purpose is going to make this earth better is going to make this life better why I'm doing this is why I always tell people don't post on social media, your life. Don't people and think of people I always feel so unhappy when I see people inviting people and they're putting all that dinner table on public. Why is people starving? Starving? There is people will love to have that's where jealousy you're literally asking people to be jealous of

01:20:53--> 01:21:07

the private or post what will make people better human beings? Otherwise don't this is one of the diseases of this day and age is the social media with no boundaries. No Boundaries. Subhanallah

01:21:09--> 01:21:11

I think there was a

01:21:12--> 01:21:18

request. Yeah. What do you what do you do? Or what do you do when you find out someone had talked about you?

01:21:20--> 01:21:25

What a good question is this? And that question your title teaching

01:21:27--> 01:21:35

to someone come and say okay, so somebody came in it wasn't Hassan was rates in the book. And they said someone said this about you.

01:21:37--> 01:21:40

And he said the shaitan didn't find a better person to send

01:21:45--> 01:21:46

stop that person

01:21:48--> 01:21:55

is going to hurt. That's for sure. Ask a lot to clear your heart. Immediately I ask myself.

01:21:56--> 01:22:00

Am I like that person? Am I Is it true? Don't defend yourself.

01:22:01--> 01:22:07

Don't defend yourself. Is it true? Am I really looking at and then you go and ask Allah subhanaw taala to Shan

01:22:08--> 01:22:28

Shan are suddenly there you been? I've seen is one of the most beautiful Do you ask Allah Subhana Allah to show your shortcomings. You're not perfect, nobody's perfect. And then think of good intention of that person. She gifted me. My shortcoming. I'm gonna change. I think I'm perfect. I'm gonna change.

01:22:29--> 01:22:39

But don't be that person who delivered the message? Don't especially youth. Don't do that. And by the way, when he talks about your teacher,

01:22:40--> 01:22:42

in front of your mother, that's backbiting.

01:22:43--> 01:22:43


01:22:44--> 01:22:46

I didn't say just me. I'm saying.

01:22:50--> 01:23:07

Question is, I think in writing in this is beautiful questions. Today's Paola is writing a journal about someone without naming them because of the backbiting don't because you did not need them. Very good question. Very nice question actually. What is the first step to guarding your tongue?

01:23:08--> 01:23:11

Stay quiet. And what have they

01:23:12--> 01:23:23

a lot of stefarr and good company. So often we just say things automatically even good things. How do we start to guard our tongue? Fast?

01:23:25--> 01:23:41

The more you fast the more you have control over yourself. When you feel you want to talk Don't talk remember I said this last week in algebra curriculum for small when you want to speak stay quiet. And when you want when you have no desire to speak speak because going to speak with a

01:23:42--> 01:23:43


01:23:45--> 01:23:48

Yeah, this one we put that Yes.

01:23:55--> 01:24:01

Yes. So don't be the person who delivered what person what other people said about you to that person?

01:24:02--> 01:24:03


01:24:07--> 01:24:12

they trust the other. Yeah, that's warning. So this is somebody who

01:24:14--> 01:24:46

let's say two friends. Right? This friend really trust this friend. You are the third person and you know this friend that is very well trusted is really hurting them. You see it? Right. But you know sometimes when we are in we don't see it. You'll go in and warn them that's falls under warning, but do it with the minimum with the minimum. I will be very careful from the people around me. Some people who you really trust and look at the people you trust, you really have to be very careful.

01:24:49--> 01:24:50

People that are around

01:24:53--> 01:24:59

if the if if the harm is major, I will say it

01:25:00--> 01:25:01

If the harm is major

01:25:02--> 01:25:15

like I know they will end up doing something really hard I will say I'll say be careful but don't overdo it. Be careful of that person mentioned they are not your best friends and leave it

01:25:16--> 01:25:29

not a lot of details and you want I think we need to stop because Muslim is another five minutes Am I correct? So everybody knows fasting or not fasting is okay too. I think right if they are not fasting they also can go

01:25:30--> 01:25:51

in there there is a power don't forget dua at the time when you make you break your fast is Mr. Jha it's actually the time the whole time is Mr. But specifically when you are about to and as you are breaking the law just like mafia, lovely seeing you meeting you all it was pantalla makers loving each other for his sake, inshallah will be too soon beaten in ceramic water